Stavvy's World - Bonus #55 - Ian Fidance [PATREON PREVIEW]

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

Patreon preview. Unlock full episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Ian Fidance returns to the pod to talk his way out of being late, get festive for the holidays, show off why he would make an excellent AA meeting leader, and much more. Ian and Stav help callers including an out-of-shape man who gets too winded after getting romantic with his lady, and a guy whose life is being ruined by a toxic woman with big honkers that he just can't step away from. Check out Ian Fidance's comedy and buy tickets to see him live: https://www.ianfidance.com/ Check out Ian's podcast Bein' Ian with Jordan: https://www.youtube.com/@BeinIanPodhttps://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod Follow Ian Fidance on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69 Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Hi, Sally, hi, Elden. Um, it's a difficult question, but I think, I think, I think Sally's taking might be the one that can, uh, that can help me out here. It's probably in the moment. Essentially, I am a fourth-year old man, but I have this crippling obsession with large, very, large, aggressive weather.

Rippling. And it's been going on pretty much my whole life. I can't remember a point where it wasn't kind of a, you know, a constant, it comes and goes,'m saying it's been a last couple of years it's been a couple of bad and two years ago I met a woman who's 36 who has like ridiculously big kids basically like you wouldn't see it bigger maybe for like you walk around and say for two months you might be another big one. That's a very interesting match. And so luckily or not hooked up and basically she's just an awful person in nearly every way. Except that, except for the pit and it's just sort of like died to destroy my life. I mean she's done some horrific things like

we have argue really really horrific me it's never normally do I give it and he was hurt he's really just like drive me out the walls lock me in the apartment you can't do it in your apartment hitting me like like friends kill me like quite seriously

it's like that's what it has to do but I always just, I always end up going back just for the breath basically. And I'm sure you maybe have, so I know you're a fan as well. Maybe you have similar experiences. And I'm just working at how do I kind of get rid. For the record, I am for the of the rest of the season the best, but I'm generally speaking, kind of don't struggle to get women at all. Like I'm fairly good looking, fairly successful, all that stuff.

So like I'm don't really struggle in that department, but it's just, I can't let it go. And it is starting to affect me in different ways of thinking because it starts like She just talks to the person basically like it's gonna take it in my life, so anyhow it'd be great Thank you. I mean dude. This is awesome I gotta go to re-appretitz Hit me locked me in the apartment Talk to me in the apartment. Threaten to kill me, credibly threaten to kill me, and I keep going back.

It's like, dude. This is it, you had your fun, man. Dude, some things are, you know what I mean? Like, our breast milk is gold. I mean, I get it. I do get where I, unfortunately, fully understand where he's coming from. Dude, hit him saying, I mean, she's got the best tits.

You could walk around a city for two months time They're probably the biggest kids you see That's such an interesting like you can't give us a size We have a We have a standard eyes That's awesome you can walk around the city. Oh my god. That really is a medieval metric for things. Yeah Yeah, dude, I mean look you had a gift like that's like there's a classic classic saying she's not yours It's just your turn and it seems like your turn has ended not other good saying is the only thing that will give you trouble in life is

Tits and tires. That's right, brother. Nice man, that's another very good saying you're right. And so look, the ride's over. Yeah. Like, let's say there's an awesome roller coaster. And the first time you go, you're like, that was really fun. You're riding, you're gonna get sick.

My tummy hurts a little bit though, but it's fun. Why don't I go again? And then you're a little more, and then you've ridden it eight times in a row, you're throwing up all over yourself, you're shitting your pants, you're like, maybe it's time to ride the ride that's gonna make you sick. Worth it?

That's a thing to come. Maybe it's time to do a little, a different ride. Get into the car. Get into the car. Yeah, maybe you need me to park completely. I'm not gonna to the zoo. Yeah, maybe the safari. Yeah. I'm not going to say what kind of woman going to the safari is. I'm not going to say that. I'm just going to move on.

I don't know what Joe goes with me. No, no, no, no, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yes, it was going to be a racist joke. Oh, I thought he was like a pig joke. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Anyway, yes, finally, I'm no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I Want this guy to keep going with this I hear it in his voice. He's not ready. It's not it's not as bad as he is Saying he's ready. He's like so happy in his voice. I know I've been here like talking about this girl's tits and like

I feel like when some shit like this happens on like some level both people like enjoy it enjoy like Yeah, there's a problem above it. Yeah. Dude, I've been in this situation. It's incredibly hard to get out of and there's just something we'll bring you back no matter how much it hurts you. You gotta get out. I'll press like no contact.

90 days, no sex, no masturbation. It'd be something if she was just kind of country. I'd agree. But we're talking to you. Trying to kill you. He said, threatened to kill me. Hitting is crazy. He said, trying to kill me. Quite seriously, trying to kill me.

Like talking about it, always ending up getting back together for the breasts. I don't know. I think at the very least, lever in the rotation. No. Try to hit it up every Four months and just like you're sick go go get some other pussy like fuck around Oh, no big titty chicks, but that's what I'm saying. It's over man You know how on the last one you were like I need to know the context of the bullet We need to see a picture maybe we see a picture the tits

How nice are they yeah, that's true. That is true We do need to see a picture these tips so we know what race the tits. How nice are they? Yeah, that's true. That is true. We do need to see a picture of these tits. So, we don't even know what race the tits were. I think it's more about the shape than the color for me. Like, how fat are these tits? How good are they looking? You know, she's in her, she's 36, he said. You know what I'm saying? But he kept harping on this thing like I'm 40. I'm 40. It's like, okay, are you 40? Like, you're not going to get a girl with big tits again or you 40, I'm 40, it's like, okay, are you 40? You're not gonna get a girl with big tits again or you 40, you should be over this tip behavior. You know, interesting.

And also, maybe address what it is about boobs. That like, is there bringing you to? There's nothing, there's nothing. Yeah, they are, but to be this obsessed with a body part is a bit much. Yeah. Like, he clearly got a bone or a breastfeeding as a child. I don't think that's necessarily it.

Sometimes you just like a nice big, big pair of tips. Everything goes back to childhood. I suppose, but look, there's people that are gonna make you, but all of us, you know what I mean? There's certain people that'll make us box. My grandmother had big tits and I'm not like a huge tick, I? Did you have a big black dick too? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm begging it out. So anyway, I am of the like, you've reached the point, you've crossed the Rubicon here, it's been fun,

you fucked her a bunch of times, you can jack off to this and smile. You'll remember these tits, there's certain tits that you will never forget. I will say that I do not remember this, eternal sunshine in the spotless mind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because if you start to reminisce,

you will forget the bad and only remember the good and go back to it. You won't, though. I think you will. If you're a weak mind, then yes, you will. This guy is so obsessed with tits, he's getting locked in his heart. But look, he's a fan of tits.

There are pairs of tits. He's not just a fan, dude. Dude, listen, I get it. If somebody gets it, I get it. But you're not this level. If I found the perfect pair of titties, they might ruin my life for a year. Yes, that's true.

They might. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm the same way with bots. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, your own. I ain't getting fucked. Cause he's gay Thank you, Alice. Thank you for giving me the last

You know big tits a nice fat ass good pussy, right? It's like that's there's keeping prison There's things that are like, that are things that are, get your hooks in you from a purely animalistic standpoint. You gotta get away. But all I'm saying is, put it, join FLAA. Maybe, I don't, that would really help.

I, I just mean you gotta, you gotta hang this up, you, a big part, and I disagree with you. There's something, as a man who loves fat tits, there's a nice little memory bank. I've got the rola decks of the hottest women I've ever fucked. I'm seeing them now.

In my head, it feels awesome. I'm looking at them. It's cool. I've seen some awesome tits. Damn. Damn, that's awesome. And so you're gonna be doing that for the rest of your life with these titties,

but it's a- Pencily race. Hang it up. Hang it up, brother. We believe in you. Threaten to kill him. Try to kill him and hit him. for the rest of your life with these titties, but it's a cancely race. Hang it up. Hang it up, brother. We believe in you. Threaten to kill him. Try to kill him and hit him in the locker-m in the-

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