Stavvy's World - Bonus #73 - Live Call Show Vol. 10 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Stavvy is back talking directly to the fans in Live Call Show Vol. 10!! Stav and Eldis help callers including the craziest call they've ever taken from a sperm donor who explains his insane saga in a 40-minute odyssey, a recovering alcoholic whose friend keeps trying to get him to the bar, a guy whose life is too entwined with his landlord/boss, and much more. If you'd like to be a part of future live call episode, subscribe at www.patreon.com/stavvysworld to get access to the Stavvy's World Discord channel where these live calls are taken. Have a question for a regular episode? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

So yeah, I'll uh I'll just get right into it so About a year ago actually I found out about that app field from you nice And I got on there and I matched with the girl and it was like an account she had with her and her boyfriend mmm, and her her thing read like hey looking for a Sperm donor to get me pregnant. Whoa Yeah What the fuck is i'm like this is crazy. I'm like to do that on the like

Freaky app is hilarious Yeah, yeah, and i'm not even like honestly, I the only reason I was on there is because I got I got banned from everything else What did you do, Andy? I had like an x-ray. Did these whores not recognize what a high value mail you were? So you found their IP addresses and threatened them?

No, no, no. I had like an x-ray done on my hip. And you could see the outline of my cock. And it looked fucking, it was very flat. Nice. Do you have a big dick? I had that on my tinder profile and I got banned Wow interesting do you have a big penis I mean it no it's I mean it's like six hard like there is nice the gentleman's cut it is it is cut there okay whatever whatever I was saying cut like a cut of meat. That's the gentleman's.

So anyway, you're on field which, by the way, looking for a sperm donor on an app that is just guys who are trying to like tie, like they're trying to like get double sucked by poly couples or like tie up, like do Japanese knots on like 23 year olds haven't been to therapy yet It's the craziest place to look for to look for a sperm. I want to make sure my son is Jim Norton It's fucking it's insane it doesn't make any sense okay, so you obviously will soon will soon learn it does none of this makes much sense Okay, great, so you see that you're like great I'm like dumb bitch, but maybe I can nut in her Yeah I'm just like, okay. Well, I'm like this sounds like some kind of scam But it could just be if it's real it could just be some kind of some crazy story. I have sure

so Anyway, we get to chatting and you know, she's like, I think yeah, I think it should be a good fit Let's meet at the Panera by my house That's where you screen the genetic father of your children over a chicken Fanta ga sandwich Okay, so here at Panera So we meet a Panera. She's a decent-looking girl. She's not like she's not really my type But you know, we meet up on my yeah, I mean I definitely I thought she's she's hot like she's she's she's a stripper and an Onlyfans model beautiful

We're fans of sex workers on this podcast Yeah, and uh so we meet we kind of chat and I'm like so How's this gonna work like you know my god so I'm sorry I'm sorry like you're with her not even to try and fuck her to expressly give her come for a child I assume you see that you're like well this is funny let me just talk to her this is crazy I mean like I said she she has a boyfriend right well I mean so it said she she has a boyfriend right well, I mean Twink boyfriend Interesting all right boyfriend is like her boyfriend's like also a model. He looks I mean he's like definition twink like he's like 5-2

Just like chiseled but like very boyish Interesting anyway, so I'm like all right how let's like how is this gonna work? Like so why does she want you're not well? I'm sorry keep that. That's a great. That's a great question. We'll get to that. Oh, okay So I'm just like, all right So how is this gonna work like do you want me to jerk off into a cup or like are we gonna have a three-way? Wow, you don't even pitch getting the fuck just her You start dude. You're a bad negotiator Well, I was just I was just confused at the entire situation. I was just like,

okay, is this a cuck situation? Like I was like trying to figure it out. I like that. It's like less creepy. If you float the three way first, it's like, I'm not some crazy just trying to fuck you. Be comfortable when you can see. I'll let your twink boyfriend suck my dick. He's so small enough that it's not, in my head, because I'm stupid, doesn't count as gay, fully gay to me. So if you need, I'll let him suck my dick first.

All right. I mean, I was totally, he was a good looking guy. I've never been with a guy, but I was totally, I was like, fuck dude, this is like, at this point I'm just like, let's fucking, let's try. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it, dude. I love it. He's on feel. This is like at this point. I'm just like let's fucking I would literally literally I would like totally been fine fuck probably looks good in a wig and some lipstick All right, so you so what did she say what did you say say? I'm like, so how is this gonna work? And she's like well, so Yeah, you know since we you know, I have I've got my boyfriend like, you know He's not really comfortable with you like kissing me or being intimate

But what's gonna happen is we'll fuck in front of you while you jerk off and then when you're about to bust tap him on the shoulder and you know bust inside We're the Dudley boys You gotta do a swan ton bomb into her pussy when he's ready. The Hardy Boys, yeah. Ah, ha ha ha ha ha. Set my pussy up on a table and climb up on the ladder and swan ton bomb your nut inside of it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, shit.

Holy fucking shit. That's incredible. All right, OK. What's up with his nut? He has bad nut No, okay. So then I was like I was like, all right. Well, that's crazy. Yeah Fuck I'll do this like I'm like just a sick my dick inside So wait, I'm sorry you don't have any qualms with you having a child that you are legally on the hook with Hold on. Well, we'll get to that too

So then I'm like I'm like so why I'm like why don't you want his kid and she's like well you know I just I'm not you know he's not ready to have a kid but I really want to have one and you know just in case like him and I ever break up you know I don't want there to be any kind of custody battle Which doesn't really make a lot of sense to me, but I was like whatever right She's going she's trying to well it kind of literally like I mean look her screening process is insane, but she's basically trying to like this is like you like it is like You don't want to buy you want to it like I have a I have a bootleg Noguchi coffee table.

And it's like, look, it would cost like six thousand dollars. Like, how about I just cruise eBay for some that looks similar? And it's like she's trying not to spend. She could go get a sperm donor, but that's expensive. Right. And there's red tape. This is like you can get some guy to nut in you. I just I have qualms with the way that she fuckin' chose it. Going off field isn't what I would do, but. And the Panera meeting, it's like,

how's your broccoli cheddar soup? Yeah. Anyway, okay, so she just wants a kid with a stranger, basically. I asked her why she, you know, why she wasn't going through like normal sperm donor. And she had been, but it wasn't working. The nut didn't take? Yeah, like the turkey baster like shooting it up there didn't work

And the boyfriend's like hey, that's you that was two strokes you only get one you only get one in there I was yeah, cuz I was like, I, when I even get like his or whatever, but anyway, so I'm like, are you, are you allotted what is there? Like a stroke allotment? I didn't, I didn't ask cause I was just like, I was just like, okay, well whatever. Like in the moment we'll figure it out. Cause I'm like, you know, hold like when you, but like, you know, sometimes it's kind of hard to time exactly like course, especially cuz I was like, you know, I was a couple feet away I wasn't like, you know hovering a jerking off like in his ear, right?

So yeah, so anyway So I'm like, well, this is this still feels weird. I'm like this I'm like are they trying to like get me on the hook for like Child support or something like this feels right did yet exactly you talk to a lawyer or something No, I didn't talk to a lawyer But she was like she's like don't worry like I thought of that already cuz she was like well I don't want there to be any kind of custody about a you know for me like you know She doesn't want me trying to get custody of the kid so she had this form and she like a space basically just like a standard sperm donor form

Okay, like that you would use you know like say if you're like a lesbian and sure sure sure yeah, yeah, so Anyway, and we so you know it's like I can't try to get custody. She can't try to get me for child support I'm like whatever this looks fine who cares right and so I'm like we need to go to a notary though for it So we go to go to a notary though for it so we go to like a Bank of America and we go to a UPS store that's the guy like you know it's all three of us go like her boyfriend too and the guy like the UP it's just a dude at the UPS store the guy you ship shit with he's just like what the fuck like of course yeah but it was really fun a stripper a little a little up to his eye

gay guy and just some dude show up together yeah are you any kind of distinctive thing to you like are you just a guy what are we talking here you're like a regular ass motherfucker? I mean I'll turn I can turn my camera on if you guys won't see me. Um, sure. I don't know Does that work eldest? I don't know Just describe you're not like a fucking you're just some fucking guy right or you can send a picture Eldest is gonna put you on the i'll just gonna put you on the camera so I can see you yeah hurry this is nice I don't know we had this capability all this let's see

this motherfucker this fight it looks like an Armenian freedom fighter I'm like Irish. You're Irish? Alright, well I don't know about that. You look Moroccan to me, brother. You need a fez right now. Anyway.

People always say I look a little Jewish. Okay, interesting. From this angle. Alright, so anyway, go ahead, bud. So, don't turn that off. So yeah, I mean, I'm like 5'11", you I mean I'm not like I'm like I'm like 511 You know, I'm not like yeah regular as duty. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not like nothing. I'm not hot or anything I was a cute kid. But yeah, I know you're saying nothing like distinctive

So anyway, actually actually your brother George, I met him at a welcome to hell Oh hell yeah, and he's he actually George called me hot At least my brother wants to fuck you yeah, so okay, so you go to get the way I did excited for welcome How to can't wait we're gonna get there. We're definitely are gonna do another show at some point So okay, you go to this notary you get a notarized the guy's like what the fuck is this? He's just returning Amazon packages most of his day and now you've got a you've got a nut retrieval form for him so

So so then I'm like all this is good forms notarized She sends me a copy of it and then we meet up She's like alright just come to you know come to my apartment and you know we'll do this and I'm fucking I'm so I'm nervous You know yeah, it's weird. What's the vibe with the boyfriend boyfriend is he like mad at you or like what's his whole thing? No, he was he was actually like surprisingly like totally normal about this And why wouldn't he let you just kind of fuck as a girlfriend? Anyway, whatever. All right, I don't know I don't know. He was also like not he was like not gay at all Very very very surprised interesting, okay. Yeah, not interested. I was just like, very, very, very surprised.

Interesting. Okay. Yeah. So we go over there, you know, she's like, what kind of music only to play? I'm just like, I don't give a fuck. Just, yeah. And nothing, anything, whatever. She turns on like some R and B and we go into like her spare bedroom. She's got a fucking pit bull in the other room, like going crazy. So I'm like kind of scared already crazy and that's like anyway and I took a well I'm not gonna say the name I think Phil of course thank you for thank you for respecting the way that we still haven't been paid and it's still a

huge you know I'm gonna bring this up actually this is the our podcast agents need to fuck this is there they might get fired if I don't get a dick pill sponsorship soon. Send it to the company. Yes. So you're, you're, you're piled up, which actually, actually if all you're doing is jerking off and taking a couple of pumps,

might not have been the right move. I don't know if I'm foreshadowing here, but sometimes a dick pill, your dick is not really a penis. It's just a mallet. And it's kinda hard to bust, but anyway, I don't know if I don't wanna step on your toes here. Yeah, it was just, well, cause you know, I ain't like, if I'm super nervous

about like hooking up with a girl, like you know, I might have trouble getting hard. Of course, of course. And this, let alone if a fucking dog is barking, her five tube boyfriend is, you can see his little ass cheeks as he fucks her pussy this is the kind of thing that like I wouldn't be sure that I wouldn't be about to be killed until like after the cream pie until after the cream pie underwear I wouldn't be sure until I'm 15 minutes away and I've

checked my rearview mirror five times I've done three u-turns I've checked my rearview mirror five times. I've done three u-turns. I've Completely gone on the other side of the highway Anyway, yeah, I was I was yeah I was worried but I you know I told I had told my friend about this and she was like because I wasn't even sure whether or not I wanted to Do it. Yeah, and you know, I told my I told my friend she and I like told her where I was gonna be Yeah, I had the same thought I was like I'm gonna get killed or robbed Yeah, and that way your friend could also maybe get killed if she goes looking for your body, but anyway Yeah, so we're in the room finally in the room. We're in the spare bedroom. We're spare bedroom

They're fucking on like a little twin size, you know trundle bed. Are they fully nude? Yeah, yeah, they're they're fully they're nude and you're what you just got your pants around your ankles I get I get we all get naked Not as anyone even so much as touch your cock or no No, no, I'm like I've like wanted someone. I'm like I wanted her to like suck my dick. Yeah Right, so, you know, we you know, they start this lawnmower I'm gonna go on myself. I said pulls pulls start the lawnmower. You know what I'm saying? Exactly, I need a little help of course, you know when they told me they weren't gonna

You know, I wasn't gonna talk touch her at all. That's why I took the blue because I'm like, I'm like definitely need some help so Anyway, this dude gets naked and you know like I said chiseled that's the buzzer ready sorry dude we're experimenting with the go ahead go ahead big biggest dick I've ever seen in my life on this guy really this five and a half inches in your dick six years huh your dick is six inches you said right yeah yeah yeah small huge dick and I'm like you know I'm like almost six foot Huh your dick is six inches you said right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah small Huge dick and I'm like, you know, I'm like almost six foot like wow

This is crazy Yeah, yeah, so fucking hammer on this dude. So that away that right there. I'm like, oh my it's gonna be like fucking throwing a hot dog Yeah, you're staggered right now. This is like in the boxing video games where you have to clinch your opponent You need a second to regain your consciousness I'm like what the fuck like this is I know my calm my compliment my dude Great dick nice kind brother Yeah, he anyway he puts on a condom starts fucking her and then he's like you cool if I take the condom off I'm like, yeah, who gives a fuck? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, this is already insane. Like what is the condom gonna, you know? Yeah. Yeah, so that's the weird part

Yeah, really like anyway, so he fucks her for like 10 minutes I like can't get hard at like cuz I'm just I'm so fucking nervous. I'm like, yeah, it's weird And how long ago did you take the dick pill? Like an hour before okay, so you let him marinate a little bit. Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's a very strange situation. You're getting alpha'd by this little-ass guy. His dick is so huge He's pounding his hot girlfriend. She doesn't even so much as suck you off You don't really feel wanted in any way other than you're not so I understand I mean they're they're trying to what's up. Go ahead. Go ahead You don't really feel wanted in any way other than you're not so I understand

I mean they're they're trying to what's up. Go ahead. Go ahead Oh, they're they're fucking like they're like fucking like porn style Not like how you would actually normally fuck but they're they're trying to make it look they're putting on a show We're trying to make it like a yeah put on a show. Yeah, yeah, i'm just like all right But it just felt it just felt weird. Yeah. Um, yep Makes it feel even more bizarre I would assume yes yeah so I I'm like you know I'm like can I get some lube or something like you're gonna try it out disgusting like sticky like scented flavored lube and and on anyway it's like the kind of lube like you ever

jerk off like for so long with lube that it like it just is it's not Yes. Yes. Yes the stuff you have to re wet Yeah, water based stuff. I'm like it I was like I was like I mean about a rip like ripping my dick off Yeah, finally I get hard, you know takes me like ten minutes to even get close to coming I'm like, you know, furiously, you know beating it like I'm you know, 11 Yeah, yeah again. Yep, and 11 years old you already busted four times Mom just came home with the dominoes You're like I gotta get this one out. I gotta get this one out

Go ahead Anyway, so he like comes in her mouth or something Nice and then I you know, but then he like starts walking or he like gets hard and starts walking. Wow. This guy's rude. This is like an elaborate way for them to just like they cut. There's the they cucked you. You're not even dating her, but it's like they bring guys over. And I bet you this happens all the time where it's like this little guy knocks you

off your feet with that hard, long ass little ass dick and just you can't even get hard. He's showing he's coming. He's getting hard again after nutting. I mean what is going on here immediately hard again. That's crazy. He's right away doesn't even get he's completely flexing on you and nutting in her mouth. So it's like I said no kissing. So just a little insurance on that policy.

You say your own. So I finally, I finally get hard. I finally I'm like, OK, it's happening. Me and Coach, I'm going to bust and, you know, I tap him on the show. I fucking like I'm like literally like dash across the room like, oh, fuck, it's happening. Tap him on the shoulder. We switch. I, you know, she's missionary position like, oh, fuck, it's happening. Tap him on the shoulder. We switch. You know, she's missionary position, like with her, you know,

like on the edge of the bed and I stick my dick in. And then like I'm like three quarters of the way in. He pushes me the rest of the way in. Whoa. Yeah, he pushes my ass. Oh, I'm going to be there for a minute. You're there for a minute

Yeah, a minute cuz it's like to make sure the the calm gets all the way in there Oh, so you do button on this woman. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like it's just like a like I can tell it like like a drop That's actually smart on your part you're like well, I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow Wow had you saving up nut That's actually smart on your part. You're like, well, I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. Wow. Had you been saving up nut? Yeah, like I didn't I didn't I like, you know, for like two days, like nothing crazy. Sure. Like I was like, that's going to be I'm like, that's good enough. Like if I don't go a day, it's like, you know, a lot.

You know, I'm twenty five. Sure. So I got a lot of, you know, nut in my balls. Of course. So so anyway, then I'm like, all right, well, you know, in two weeks, like when you take the pregnancy test, you know, let me know. And so we go our separate ways. That's so funny. That's like, dude, it's like, oops, all berries where it's like, oops, just cream pies. No other part of the sex. Just the cream pie. Insane.