Stavvy's World - Bonus #90 - Kush Brothers Vol. 13 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Starting point is 00:00:00 So basically I think my boyfriend is a feeder so to give some background as a kid and in my teens I always had an issue with my weight but then I lost like 60 pounds in college and then I managed to keep it off basically for all of my 20s Then when I met my current boyfriend when I was like 31 32 He just he likes to be and even when I'm like, hey, I'm really like struggling with my weight I'm trying to lose weight so still buy me like a family-sized bag of Doritos My Chinese and just like constantly. And then when I try to cook, he always like makes some reason why,

Starting point is 00:00:49 like it was too spicy or like whatever. Even if I haven't used anything but like salt and pepper, like there's always something wrong with it. And then we need to like order, you know, we need to order food from like Uber Eats or whatever. And so since I've been dating him, I gained like 50 pounds. And no matter how much I'm like, hey, I really, I'm trying to do better and I just don't recognize

Starting point is 00:01:13 myself anymore. He does the whole like, yeah, you're beautiful. I'm like, you know me, I love your curves. But it's just like, I had my weight under control for my whole adult life until I met you and I'm like the fattest I've ever been So I guess my question is just like how do I? Have this conversation and like make it stick or do I just need to?

Starting point is 00:01:34 Like break up with him so that I can lose weight and get my life back on track This is Bobby. I also love that. She's she's in the closet hiding. He's got a fucking pan of mozzarella sticks, honey It's Mott's time Like I got he's just he's killing me. I got milkshake Getting cold slices of prosciutto slide under the door. There's my little honey pig. Yeah, I mean this is really tough. And I'm putting myself in the caller's shoes here, our friend's shoes here.

Starting point is 00:02:20 It would, it takes so little for me to get off when I'm on Good, it takes such little breaks where if the person I loved the most yeah Consistently tried to break me down. Yeah, like yeah, that's like that's like fat munchausens Here's why I think this is a question for a therapist and it like touches on that Yeah, because it's interesting to me that you lost the weight when you went to college You were away on your own for the first time Maybe is that there could be emotional connections based on stuff that was going on in the home when you were Eating you have a fat

Starting point is 00:02:59 There's a recurrence of that in this relationship like this relationship feels like it works Because you're having some emotional need met that also results in like this feeding behavior. Yeah, yeah. And I mean like what's this guy's deal? Is he also, like could he just be a fat guy that's like is legitimately attracted to you, doesn't care, and would rather be fat himself?

Starting point is 00:03:19 Like does he not want to do it? He's a comic, he just wrote a whole bunch of fat wife jokes and he wants to work. So he's feeding her. It's for the bit, honey! He's a comic, he just wrote a whole bunch of fat wife jokes. Yeah. It's for the bit, honey. It's column. What? No, I give you a pepperoni piece every once in a while. It's totally deal with. OK, so yeah, I mean, I agree with you.

Starting point is 00:03:41 I think the thing and like, look, the other thing is we have one side of the story here, right? I also, and it's like, it's like how much of it, cause what, like I said, all it takes is a little nudge for someone to get me off my game. And then when I'm off my game, it's like, meals have been locked in some code dependent fat spirals for five years in a row where it's like meals have been locked in some code dependent fat spirals for five years in a row

Starting point is 00:04:06 Yeah, where it's like one of us will be dieting and the other one's like I Think I'm gonna get some for seamless you want anything and it starts with like a side of chicken breast one time Yeah, but once you've broken that when you're on the ride on the seamless ride. It's like the next five weeks later It's like the next five weeks later it's like the other one is like all right you want you're getting your own pizza this time because I told you I wanted every all the bacon ones and you say you didn't want any you were just gonna have the pepper the pepper is one we split but you had four you had five and I was only had three of the pepper and it's like it

Starting point is 00:04:39 gets that bad so many in cahoots uh... to tag team papa john yeah yeah yeah so uh... so yeah think about like has he's got me off your game and then you kinda go with it for a while and then it's and you know to me like you have to kind of examine this from every stand point i think the therapy thing is a very good example

Starting point is 00:05:01 but i will say it is very possible if this was anything else, right? If this was any other kind of weakness, if this was like any other vice, if it's drugs, if it's drinking, we're not even having this conversation. Yeah. No, I actually- You're getting the fuck out. That happened with my dad. Right when my dad and my mom got a divorce, my dad was with

Starting point is 00:05:21 some chick and she offered him, my dad's been sober for over 20 years, and she offered him wine like twice in front of me. And the second time I was like, what the fuck is this? Like what's going on? It's either you're drinking or she's a maniac, and I'm gonna like club her over the head with something. Like this is crazy, like what is it? He's like, no, no, no, it's all right, whatever.

Starting point is 00:05:40 But it just like, it always struck me as like. Did he relapse? I don't know, he never admitted to it based on behavior Block me from getting my golf clubs So yeah, I mean look There might the answer could just be this motherfuckers gotta go I mean, this is not a short amount of time either right like this being on for a while right 50 pounds Yeah, so anyone that's back even if he's not doing it on purpose anyone that has this effect on you

Starting point is 00:06:17 Probably is not who you want to be with even if even if you are a little complicit in this let's say Even if even if you are a little complicit in this, let's say Whatever whatever's bringing behavior a person that being around them for six whatever months. However long a year however long it's been That brings this out of you Yeah That makes you feel like you don't recognize yourself like not even from the health of but you just feel like you're not in control Of your life If this was any other behavior, we would just say this is kind of like borderline abusive But it's a little more acceptable

Starting point is 00:06:47 because food is such a like, everyone needs to eat. It's such a comfort thing. It's so, so it's like, we obviously we're not therapists. I think JP's right. You need to talk about this, but I think you need to talk about somebody fast. And I don't think you need to worry. It's, it doesn't need to be,

Starting point is 00:07:00 you don't have to hem and haul over it. Like I think you're better off just kind of regrouping for yourself. If you feel right now that this person is the cause of this, then it might just be time to get out of there and work on your own. Or even just your dynamic together is the cause of it.

Starting point is 00:07:15 It's like Jesse and Jane in Breaking Bad. Where it's like the two of them can't be strong together. Yes, yes, yes. It at least warrants a conversation where you sit down with them outside of a situation like that and you say, listen, I need you to stop offering me unhealthy food. I need you to take it seriously when I say no. And like if you say explicitly like what you need, then you've actually set a boundary

Starting point is 00:07:35 and like made it very clear. Right. What's going on. And then if he's still, you know, not respecting that, then he's got to go. That's a good point. That's a great point. Because it's like, we say that all the time. It's like sometimes we say a lot with like shitty parents where it's like you have to say something

Starting point is 00:07:48 And you have to at least put it on the record because until you say I don't like to be treated like this Yeah, they have the plausible deniability that they didn't know they were hurting your feelings So you have to do that and then once you do it's not even about the behavior It's about not respecting you enough to listen to you. So anyway, good luck. I feel for you. That's very tough God if I if a woman was bringing me fucking Oreos, man I'd be so fucking This is how fat I am. I've been trying for five months to be not fat and this is how fat I Do you imagine a loving was in a loving relationship

Starting point is 00:08:25 with a lady bringing me snacks? If it helps, you were fatter. Yeah! Yeah! Thanks, man. ["The Daily Show Theme Song"]

Stavvy's World - Bonus #90 - Kush Brothers Vol. 13 [PATREON PREVIEW]

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