Stavvy's World - Bonus #92 - Tommy McNamara [PATREON PREVIEW]

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Tommy McNamara joins the pod to discuss growing up in Chicago, his midwestern family's love of diet soda, the ice cream of the future, going to church hammered, beautiful bible verses about donkeys and horses, getting trash talked by an opposing coach as a young tennis player, and much more. Tommy and Stav help callers including a guy who caught his girl texting with an ex, and a man whose girl is extremely jealous after he lost a bunch of weight. Watch Tommy McNamara's special SMOLDERING out now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViNPDchxUe4 Follow Tommy McNamara on social media: https://www.instagram.com/tommymcnam https://twitter.com/TommyMcNam Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Hey, Stavi Elvis whichever guest hope this gets answered on the patreon exclusive make us pay for the good life advice That's right, bro. You're like one years old on the East Coast from three more years away from my pension Oh, yeah, like long electrical worker shout out to the IBEW We've been together for over six years When I was 39, I had a heart attack Real fucking scare into me, you know at everything I needed and I risk cutting it short cuz a fucking white castle Start getting my fat ass in order so I can live long enough to enjoy my life. I love that That's my heart attack. I really committed to living healthier. I've been working out a healthy

I cut out the sugar and booze and I'm looking feeling better than I did in high school The only problem is now that I'm looking good, my girl is acting jealous and keeps thinking I'm not cheating on her and it's making my fucking home life toxic. Very interesting. One of my woman's friends will start texting me out of nowhere, wanting to hang out with just me. I tell my girl, fuck the friendship. She tells me that was a test to see if I'm still loyal.

Oh no. Wow, this might be the rare reverse of the call we always get because Tommy what one of the big motifs of this podcast is a fat piece of shit that loses weight in his like 50s or 40s. And like is like well now I have to cheat. And there's this could just be the most he's laid the most groundwork for that out of anyone, but from his voice he sounds like he doesn't. Let's hear him out, but this is the rare, like, we very rarely get the flip side of this.

And he's a patron of Stavis world, so he has a good head on this shoulder. He's a patron and a good union man who's put all his time in at the IBEW. He's got a good, yeah, this is a guy, and you can legitimately, not to be corny, but his voice is that of like, he has an honest way about speaking, and there's no hemming and hawing. All those other guys are so like, it's like a little kid asking for candy they know they're not supposed to have. They're like, they never get to the point, but this guy's very direct. Anyway. Well it seems every few months months whenever my girls don't do her own insecurity or some fucking tick-tock puts brain worms into her I deal with some BS test set up to try and catch me cheating

I love this woman. I want to spend the rest of my life with her cheating hasn't really been a thought for me I love her but I am too old for this shit Absolutely just because I got healthy at middle-aged doesn't mean I want to leave it for The hostess she thinks I smiled at for too long Like how do I defuse her insecurities and calm the shit down so I can coast into retirement with the person I love Thanks folks. I can answer this one easy get fat again Everyone's happy. It's looking at you right in the face, bro. Looking at you, you know what I mean?

Maybe it doesn't have to be White Castle, you know, step it up. You could eat more better, you know. But yeah, that is the easiest solution. I've come up with this plan where you look like shit. No one's ever worried about you. Tommy's ready to settle down, folks. Tommy's already put the first part into place. He's just waiting for the woman who loves him more than anything in the world now.

Except you, yeah. This is very difficult because I truly believe him. And I didn't consider this and it's also, I gotta say, this would fucking feel bad to me because it would mean that the person you loved, like, because you hear this all the time from people that lose weight, that they, a thing that's very depressing to them is how bad

they used to get treated by society for being fat, right? And it's one thing if it's a random person, but this guy's kind of figuring out that the person he loves saw him that way. The person he loves more than anything sees his value as much higher now because he's healthy. That would be the thing that would piss me off after I did a little math, right?

Like, look, is this annoying yes Yeah, right, but I do think there is some like You could go to couples counseling about this you could just say it to her you could continue to act in a way That's like hey if you ever do this like Like you just make it clear that her behavior although If someone is really insane about this, they won't be like, You need to understand if you keep treating me this way, or if you keep testing my loyalty, It's not that I want to cheat, but I can't be in a relationship, like, you just have to stop doing this, this is fucking bad.

And maybe she could figure it out, but I think, worst case, she could go to fucking couples counseling about it, but, What underlies all of that is like, yeah, she's clearly insecure, but that would really fucking hurt my feelings if it meant like, wait, you fucking thought I was, you think I'm better now? You're my fucking wife. Yeah, I didn't even think of it that way.

You're not even, like it's one thing if like somebody I knew, but it's like that would piss me off. Yeah. I mean, otherwise though, I don't know, you know. Well but it's like that would piss me off Yeah, I mean otherwise though. I don't know you know what sounds like She's just like spiraling like even if it's yeah like a society thing or not based in reality, so she just needs to yeah It's just all in her mind if you haven't done this already, which she probably has right, but let's just let's just cover our bases here and say a big part of like in a lot of instances is plainly saying how you feel and what you need right that's step one if you haven't done that already because

I could also see him not doing it right I could also see it being kind of natural to like when when your partners like says shit like this be like what are you talking about like being so annoyed that you don't ever just clearly stated so if you haven't done it just say hey this actually I don't really appreciate how you are You don't trust me anymore because I got it because by the way This isn't even a guy who lost weight out of nowhere that would even be you could kind of understand a heart attack If I'm you, I'm saying, hey, I don't appreciate the fact that when I was faced with a health emergency

and the idea that I wouldn't get to spend the rest of my life with you, I made hard choices and changes into my life, lifestyle changes, so that I could be around for the rest of our lives. And the way you're treating me because of that is to now, I'm not a different person, and now you're treating me because of that is to now I'm not a different person and now you're treating me as if I'm suspicious. That doesn't make me feel good.

That makes me feel like taking for granted and that you have your own insecurities to deal with. You can't keep bringing this up. I don't want to cheat on you. I love you. I want to... The reason I lost this weight is so that I could have a longer life with you. But the more you behave like this, the more it makes me feel bad.

And I, you know, I can't do this forever. This is something you have to figure out. And I want to work through this with you, but it is something we have to deal with. And that's, you have to make that, you have to kind of state that plainly. You have to set up a boundary and then it you know Hopefully she doesn't cross it. Hopefully she takes your word for it, but and I do think for that reason It's like offering to help somehow Maybe maybe it is counseling. Maybe it's whatever maybe she wants to work on on her own But like there's only so much you can do if you say that you know

Or you could just fucking you know if she really keeps fucking asking for it you could get some fucking head on the sneak give her a taste of her own medicine you made me do this you made me do it