Stavvy's World - Bonus #95 - Justin Schlegel and Tommy Sinbazo [PATREON PREVIEW]

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Baltimore's best & brightest and dear friends of the show Justin Schlegel and Tommy Sinbazo return to the pod to chug some Twisteds in Stav's basement and discuss Tommy's tiny nips, stepdads, catching your parents in the act, getting bit by dogs in the park, and much more. Justin, Tommy and Stav help callers including a guy whose casual golf buddy is trying to be better friends than they actually are, and a guy who's about to get married wondering if he can hang onto old sex tapes he made with his exes. Get tickets to Justin Schlegel's special taping on 11/30 in Annapolis: https://www.ramsheadonstage.com/events/detail/673221 Follow Justin Schlegel on social media: https://www.98online.com/show/justin-scott-and-spiegel/ https://www.instagram.com/justin98rock https://www.twitch.tv/Justin98rock https://twitter.com/JSS98Rock Follow Tommy Sinbazo on social media: https://www.instagram.com/tommy_sinbazo/ https://www.facebook.com/tommy.sinbazo/ https://www.instagram.com/bussiwithani Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

I'm calling in about an issue that I have with a friend who just kind of doesn't get the boundary I'm trying to set with our friendship here. Basically, I worked with this guy for probably six months or so and we were work friends, you know got happy hour every now and then and and eventually became golfing buddies like we would go and golf probably once a week or or once every other week. And recently, after knowing him for about a year, he asked me if I would be in his wedding as a groomsman. And to be honest, I was pretty caught off guard

and I said yes, because you can't really deny someone that I feel like. And I don't hate the guy. You know, I don't see him as that level of friend. I can't deny that. But I'm happy to be there for him. And ever since then, he has kind of tried to step up our friendship. Like, he'll ask me for prime time

like to hang out on like Saturday nights or plan long weekends well in advance and asked me to like Go to a cabin with him and his girlfriend and his girlfriend's friends, none of which are very hot You would have never got this. Ever. The cabin with him and his girlfriend and his girlfriend's friends, none of which are very hot. And so I was very content with the relationship being just golf buddies and someone that I hang out with every now and then.

And he's clearly trying to escalate it to like a best friend level. So how do I preserve the golf friendship without taking it up the chain like what he's trying to do? Do you have any advice on that? That would be great. Thank you. Interesting. You said if I could. Yes, please. Thomas, thank you. You're welcome. I had this exact situation.

Really? Oh wow. Fall in my lap. Years ago, I had someone in my life, like Tommy is a dear friend. If he finally gets married around the year 2035, I expect to be in the wedding party. Once I've moved Lou's brain into a robot, I feel.

Yeah, yeah, yes. Once I've moved Lou's brain into a robot, I feel. Yeah, yeah, yes. Once you've printed her new body, yes, the six foot eight, 350 pound women's kickboxer. Yes, don't mind the green skin. Yes, don't mind her tank tread feet. But years ago, I had a dude that I was, I would like to say a fucking acquaintance at best. He asked if we can get lunch together.

I'm like, yeah, that's fine, cool. We sit down, we get lunch, he goes, hey man, I think it's pretty clear what you mean to me. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? I see you twice a week if I need to go and remit a form at work. And he goes, I'd like you to be the best man at my wedding. Best man? Best man at my wedding. Best man?

Best man at his wedding. This dude and I were work acquaintances. We never hung out outside of work. We never did shit. If I didn't see him at work, I didn't see him. We didn't fucking text. We didn't do anything. And I found out that in his world,

I was his best friend. On a list of 100 people I would call a friend, he wasn't on that list. He was an acquaintance, he was underneath of that shit. Tough, dude. So here's what I did, and this is per the advice of our friend, trans comedian Joe Robinson. He said, get his name wrong.

Fuck his name up. In casual conversation. I'm gonna make up a name to save the identity of the innocent, but let's just say his name was Rick. Just saying, being like, hey, Rick wants you to be the best man. I'm like, dude, I appreciate that, Rich. That's cool. You know, I've always wanted you to find happiness, Rich.

And I think, you know, it's finally time for you to find your forever Rich it's it's Rick oh my god I'm so embarrassed and I accidentally purposefully let him know you don't mean shit from shit to me so over the course of a conversation or two I fucked my way out of and he asked you not to do it after that what was the conversation? No, he moved on. He had his brother do it. No, he were after two conversations at work

where I called him Rich instead of Rick, not what I actually said, but I fucked up small, immediately known details. Like if I called him Tim instead of Tommy, he'd be like, what the fuck? I thought we were boys. So what about that initial conversation? What did you say?

I was like, man, that is,'s heavy dude I so you two are ready you've been together for a while now okay cool I immediately go home tell my girlfriend like what the fuck do I do the guy I see twice a week to submit some form so I can be reimbursed for gas money two levels before underneath of where I work once I mean I don't know shit about him I don't know his last name. That's crazy. But you're like okay that's crazy we're talking we're dealing with an insanely lonely individual sounds like over there this is a weird thing because this guy has their sort of relationship. Yeah. You know and it's like listen if if he just asks him to be in his part wedding party So like some guys marry women with 100 friends exactly and when you get to like groom

They have to stretch to 10 groomsmen. They have six and spots eight nine and ten are like they're the Practice squad and okay if that was the case and he didn't try and up him to this other level of like, that's fine, but like there is, this is kind of the equivalent of friendship. Like, he's trying to take this friendship to the next level. This is like the straight dude equivalent to a guy who's friends with a woman trying to fuck that woman. He's trying to friendship fuck this guy

and he's gotta keep him in the friends zone. He's in the double friends zone. The golf friends zone. Exactly. And in terms of how you accomplish that. Can I suggest something that you do very well? Sure. You and I have a great relationship.

I text you, you text me back. I'm like, Stav, awesome, heard about the new movie. That's great. Justin heard you got to be at the grand opening of a Roy Rogers. Thank you, Stav, I appreciate that. Hey, Stav, is there any way you can get me into the mothership and then you just won't text back?

You never asked me to get into the mothership. That's brilliant. You never asked me that. You never asked me that, you motherfucker. I wouldn't fucking send a text. You never asked me that. You never asked me that, you motherfucker. I would fucking send a text. Will I, am I an infrequent text or yes? But I don't ever deny requests. I don't, if you ask me something, I do...

No, dude, he texts back every single time. You just need to ice this fucking guy out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, you gotta, you just gotta ice him out. Yeah, you need to treat this guy like when I texted Stoff that we were seeing Wolverine Deadpool on Muscle. Okay. And just never, never answer.

I was in English, I'm sorry. Okay. I saw the text like nine hours later, I should have texted you back. Yeah, did I not respond to that text? No one talks to me. Because you didn't fucking send it. You're asking a dude that's in London.

I'm 20 minutes from you. You have a fucking Android. I'm in London. I don't know the series. What do you want from me, man? You don't respond to green text. The company pays for my phone. You went to Alien with Eric.

It didn't even ask me. No, you didn't think you liked Alien. I said I'd be Alien once. Giving, you didn't think you liked aliens. I've seen every alien once. Giving these guys twisted tees was a mistake. God damn it. This is like fucking gremlins. Don't feed your white tracks friends twisted tees after 7 PM.

Dude, you got a whole new spinoff. They'll start hearing all their grievances. It's Mike's part R, boys. No, him. It definitely sounds like this guy doesn't have many male friends. Yeah. He if I it's it's a hard situation. I had we do these murder mysteries.

Yeah, we didn't win five countries. Dial-Affrican-Productions.com. We do it with trans comedian Joe Robbins. Trans comedian Joe. But we had in our early days of doing it. We had a sound guy that was the sound guy at the Baltimore Comedy, what was it, the comedy factory. And from just doing one or two of these murder mysteries with him, he asked me, hey man,

would you be in my bride, would you be one of my groomsmen? I fucking remember that. And I was like, oh, I don't know your last name. And this is what, I wasn't making a lot of money then. And it would have been five hundred dollars to buy my own outfit for this thing. And I had to tell him, like, dude, I'm like, I'm I got to spend it on a Dr. Doom costume. Yeah. OK. You know, all my fucking. I'm going to I know this 3D printer.

All my fabric money is tied up on Dr. But it's cloak season. It's about to get cold. But I had to tell him, I was like, look, I can't afford, I know, you know, thank you for thinking of me. Yes. But I can't, I can't do that. I can't be a part of that.

Yes, yes. And so like, the problem is the quickest way is you gotta nip that shit in the bud. And so you haven't done that. And now he's in a tough position where if he does want to preserve the golf shit, yeah, which it sounds like you got a good thing going. You dig that. You hang out, you play golf, but leave it at that. So if you want to preserve that, you just I mean, how long is this wedding?

Like, when is this wedding coming up? You just kind of have to play. You just got to have to be elusive until this wedding. You agreed to be in the wedding party. You're not the best man. Just fucking suck it up. And just get through it. The fact that you're just a part of the party

but not the best man, dude, just go through it. Don't fucking upgrade the, like for example, trans comedian Joe Robinson asked me to come to his wedding in Mexico. One of my best friends. I'm like, I would not miss my trans friend Joe's wedding, but I couldn't afford to go to Mexico. And he understood.

And you just tell him. Yeah, I didn't go either. Same thing. No, you didn't. None of us went. I'm not gonna do a goddamn death. I was like, what, you're marrying a woman? Get married in Glenburnie and I'll be there.

But yeah, something like this, the fact that you're part of a wedding party, suck it up, just do that. Don't step it up. Don't do one-on-ones. And if anything, you're gonna have to like, again, treat it like you're part of a wedding party, suck it up, just do that. Don't step it up, don't do one-on-ones. And if anything, you're gonna have to like, again, treat it like you're a woman trying to keep someone in the friend zone.

He suggests Saturday, 10 o'clock hang out. You say, hey man, I actually have something to do, why don't we get lunch? You know what I mean? Like, push him back to where he belongs. Bump him up just a little bit. Just a hair. Just a little bit for smooth sailing in your golf,

you know, tee off or whatever. Yeah, don't lose the golf thing, which sounds like you enjoy doing. I just had a brilliant idea. Smash one of the wives, not good looking friends. Oh, make it an issue. And fuck up. Treat her poorly. Yeah, fuck up that relationship.

You get a little bit of pussy out of it, fuck up the relationship, and then the wife tells him I don't like that guy and you're not allowed back around. And then he's like don't worry I told that bitch she never comes between me and my friends, can I sleep in your guest bedroom buddy? I'm starting this over man. Hell yeah. Yeah we did it. Just us boys now. Just yeah more dudes, dudes more dudes more dudes The the premise of the movie love you man with Jason

Siegel and Jason Siegel and Paul Rudd is that the premise yeah The guy doesn't have many male friends and there's a wedding coming up so they set him up with a guy to become friends Are you thinking Amistad? I saw that that's what it was Forcibly making people be your friend. That's your concept of slavery. You will be my friend. Hey, we have a kickball league. It's mandatory. A little more than making them be their friends. You and I shall get to know each other. We got an employee of the month board. I came from pizza on Friday. Mm-hmm.

Hell yeah. I'm giving you a career.