Stavvy's World - Devon Walker and Alex English

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

Devon Walker and Alex English join the podcast to clown each other’s basketball abilities, hash out their officemate rivalry at the 30 Rock office, and help callers including a woman freaked out by her boyfriend’s panty sniffing and a guy who lost a beloved heirloom of his friend’s dead father.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Oh, bye! Welcome to Stop His World, everyone! Holy fuck, I got my fucking boys. It's a mix. I love dropping the theme song on the unsuspecting We are dude we're in the diner dude. We're in the fucking diner We're waiting we're getting terrible pretend We're getting terrible service at a diner. We're waiting for some old Greek bitch with a lazy eye to come. Bring us pie for an hour and a half.

That's the vibe. We're laying on a waffle that's been sitting on a couch for 25 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kiriakos is too busy sexually harassing the hostess to make your lamb. And the guy goes, she can hide school. Yeah, without school. She can hide school. And he got a school. Yeah, without school. She had high school.

And you got a family. Yeah. And about the way there's also very much flirting with the black girl that you might be there with. Oh, 100%. Oh, 100%. Remember, we got to the diner on Sunday's after the nibble Marie Fawstein. And like, can we just, can we start ordering?

Because Marie is talking to this man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's Mariah's by her. Oh, I love that. Oh, if Marie, if Marie went to Greece, the amount of sexual harassment that she would attract and also destroy also. I would like Marie versus that kind of like horny, perpetually horny, foreign man, that's a fun match-up.

I would love to see you. That's a fun. I was like, are we watching White Lotus? I haven't seen this. The scene where Aubrey Plaza walks by herself and said other time And she went with the lady and then like all the men are kind of like Circling her Let's see that happen to Marie. Oh, yeah, we're somewhere where I can protect her of course

Yeah, yeah, yeah out of context. It sounds like we want something horrible to happen to Marie We are not trying to get our friend in, we want to work for her. I want to be something like Vulture, he's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, no, how do you feel about the fact that like Italians in America, Italians really like, they're so repris, in terms of like the off white white people,

they get so much more representation in the Greek folks. Sure. I'm gonna fill about that. Well, you know, that's a great question. And I do think we, we're kind of, we are the like, in terms of the off-white, I think that's a good way to put it there. Yeah, that's where.

You're white people, but you'll really make it known that you're like, no, I'm this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, great, great. You're definitely black. You're kind of like black people. I don't know what he's saying here.

I don't know what he's saying. But you know what? I'm still like, the cultural sort of, I'll't know what he's saying here. I don't go on this. But you know what? I like the cultural sort of like, no, I have a ghost. Stop it, stop it. Well, like a Jason, because he's from Baltimore. That's what you're picking up on. This is not like a normal Greek. This is not every Greek man that you find.

That's true. Stylvos is a real housewife of Potomac. Yeah. Oh, yeah, did absolutely. Yeah, we're kind of like, we're the cult classic. You know, because like you said, we're a little, I did, absolutely. Yeah, we're kinda like, we're the cult classic, you know, because like you said, we're a little, we are, I would say we're on average less white than most Italians, especially in America.

There's been a big, I think a lot of Italians are super assimilated. We're most Greek people, like, we cling onto that shit. I was honestly, for the first time in my life, I was thinking about it, I was like, damn, I might just like take Greek classes because like my friends are having kids. And I don't want to speak to them in Greek.

Like I want to like refresh my shit a little bit. And like it kicks in when you're in your 30s. You're like, oh, I do care about my culture and my heritage. But I am working on a bit where it's like, I think Greek people are, if we're being honest, we're being honest, we're probably the most light-skinned Arabs. That's like who we actually are.

You know? Because it's like, I think we only became white because white people wanted ancient Greece on their resume. That's my theory, is that they couldn't count us as Arabs because that would mean They get democracy and white people really wanted So that's there's a whole bit. I don't want to spoil it folks Stavidab is the fat rascal tourists out there That one's gonna make the special so I can't I don't want to give it too much away

But I fully I see what you're saying and that's and by the way 904 800 stop guys can't, I don't wanna give it too much away, but I fully, I see what you're saying. And that's, and by the way, 904 800 staff guys calling, we got, I don't know if I even said, Devin Walker, Alex Englisch, two of my boys so funny. Um, they're giving me cheer. Honestly, Steve, we gonna push back a little bit, because as I get older, I find myself moving away from out my culture. Oh interesting. His culture is Detroit. That's what he's referring to. And you know, okay, just like, you know, but there are just certain things that I tend to turn away from. Let me hear him. Like for example, do we need the swag scarf anymore? Swag surfing. I think we're done with the swag. No, I don't know. I think it's come back around. Here's the thing, Alex, it was gone,

but it's come back around the way like, you'll listen to the beach boys. I'll listen to swag surfing. Like, that's our oldies, bro. Like we're gonna be, we're gonna be like 80-year-old men and like a swag, a surf. And our knees are gonna be able to be able to be able to bend all the way.

So let's just, I mean, we'll be there in our threadic. Something really about it, when it happens at a party, my vibe changes. I get that. I think, you know, I think maybe you're more worried about that's a, that's just a clear sign of your mortality approaching.

Also, some, also some niggas have really gotten into natural deodorant and I don't wanna share that. That's the thing. I don't know there was a swag surfing epidemic going on in New York City lifelike If you're in a black function the swag I've been on the road too long Black year of like

2012 That's kind of our What's the thousand mile? Oh journey? 50 years for black people to be carefree and frolic like that You all the all the like black anthem from the 70s are all about like 2011 to get a fun bomb. Maybe it's a little bit, maybe I'm taking some, taking some away from my community. Yeah, you see that, actually.

Maybe I'm in my heart right now. I'm becoming, I'm becoming, I'm growing, I mean, I've said it for a long time. Alex is heading in the wrong direction. He's gonna be giving like 15 years and more money to let him change trash. Brack is a future. He's gonna start, I'm years and more money to let him change trash brackets a few times Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm leaving. Yeah, yeah, I love what these are Alex from Michigan and one time we were talking about Michigan rappers And he was like none of them niggas fuck with me when I was young. I hope they never get clean water

I Love my people and I know some of these Detroit rappers. They are talented men, but they were very nice to me. You know, because I don't know, we were on the same road. Right, right, right. I hold a grudge. Yeah, one thing I love about Detroit rappers is it feels like the naming conventions are like something with money and something vaguely Italian.

Like, there was a guy, who's named payroll G of money? I love G of money. I love G of money. And that's tight. I love that. And then somebody who's named something De Niro, wasn't he? Oh, fuck, we were just talking about that. We were watching, yeah.

I'm pretty good, but yeah. But you guys got some good, there are some Detroit rappers popping off right now. There's a rapper. And don't let their homophobia stop you from enjoying them as artists There's a there's I forget what's his name was awesome. I'm trying to remember what it is I went to high school with this half black half I want to say Chinese do nice nice my high school A very very nerdy in school like Gaga grades, but like now he go I think he goes by a rapper named young

Susie And he's rapping and this is something like I know you got a black mama. But like his daddy, I remember we was in, what he, a story that followed him during our time at school was that, is dad like went to jail, because he was a performing illegal abortions.

That is honestly the most hood type of Chinese guy you can be. I like it like he's doing crime but he's still working medicine. He's an expert. He's one of those bulletproof Chinese restaurants in the back. It's behind the bulletproof glass It's a it's a plan parenthood That is fucking wild Respect to him respect to him

Yeah, that is I do love your the Detroit stories of just like I mean my favorite stories that you literally were at the mallas at the palace That is an incredible Detroit. Watching a claim the same. As a German on the other. I mean, I'm in a new fucking club. His way. Completely fucking people up. But Michigan Hicks.

Yeah. Yeah. Really fucking the people that we came in from the suburbs. Yeah, I was just such a hurt, right? I was like ready to always see a fight. Yeah, I was like, my dad was like, concerned. We should get out of here to police on the coming in. I'm like, oh, that thing's but a fight. So my dad was like concerned like we should get out of here to police on coming in and I'm like,

oh that thing's but just fight. Yeah, yeah. Did you get, did you have to scrap a couple times? Ask in school? In school. In school, not at the palace. I'm not asking you if you fought Steven Jackson. I had one.

I had one. You know Alex was fighting. You know what I'm saying? Look at him. He's getting a love to talk shit. Yeah. I can't get some fight. I punched this one. I'm saying? Look at him. He's gay and he loves the talk shit. I punched one nigga in the face in high school in my freshman year and nobody fucked with me. Wow. That's awesome. You got to really show you crazy. Absolutely. I don't want to find. I don't really want to run away from a fight. Well, especially like a fucking inner city,

from a thine. Well, especially like, especially like a fucking inner city, you know, that world pretty much the same age in the fucking mid late 2000s. Like, yeah, this shit was not, this shit was not very LGBTQ plus friendly. Yeah. It's like, it's like, we had a fucking, the gayest kid that are in our high school. This, I won't say his name but he was like you know theater like your dancer like and people were fucking with them they were like you know really about to fuck him up and this fucking kid karate kick yeah roundhouse kicked him I was like go like what just a black dude this kid he was in the same shape and he was in no one fucked with him and he was just sucking dudes off

and like the fucking theater costume closet. Luckily I avoided most fights. I don't think I got in a fight in my senior I don't think I got a fight in high school and I actually got in fights. I don't think I got into fight in my senior, I don't think I got in fight in high school. And I actually got in fights when I was in elementary school when it was more, we were in Greek town. It felt like more tribal in Greek town, where there's a white trash bully, and I was like, I have to stand up.

I have to stand up for the Greek youth. Like it was race wars. You know, it's like that level. Interwhite race wars. Inter like race wars. You know, in that level. Interwhite race wars. He's Baltimore. He's Baltimore. Elder's Albanian, our friend's dad wouldn't let him in the house.

Yeah. That's where the guy is. I love this guy. I love your version of the wire. Yeah, season two of the wire. Literally is what is where we grew up. I've always been really skinny though. So it's like people with a big dude, if you's like people, you know, with a big dude,

if you skinny a gay, you know, you were like a target. Of course. My thing was like my mouth, like this shit I was saying to you would always get, it would make people want to hit me because they couldn't use that word. Of course. If I had to on you, if I knew your mama was a hug or something, I was gonna make sure.

You know what I mean? I was missing a parent in the home too, but you're gonna be like well you live in the projects I don't live in the right. You know, you had to have something that I know it because Niggas often don't know how to use a word. They want to put a hand on people know so now I get to ask and I just verbally That's a tough one. Yeah, that's a tough one. I can beat up before so I'm already guys Of course I got my ass kicked The first time I ever really got my ass like yes, I was at the gay club. Oh, oh I got beat up by a transgender woman I don't need to repeat what I said to her

You got a job to protect You gotta job the protects No, it was earned yeah first time Most people do I think I'm sure this has been said before but more people should be punched in a fucking face No, I got my fighting out of the way early, but it was a good, it was definitely a fucking good lesson. Yeah, that's fucking hilarious. I got a permanent scar on my right thigh from that beach. That, anytime I show the water pocket,

I'm like, she can show up at any moment. I would imagine that you weren't like a bully, but you had to fight, because people, you're big and people would challenge you. No, I mean people would fuck with me, but like people didn't want to fight me. I've been a big kid for a long time. Interesting. You know what I'm saying? And so like, yeah, exactly. Huston Genius as you call it.

And so people, you grew up in Texas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up like right outside of Austin. Okay. Yeah, and so I grew up literally in the town that they shot the TV show Friday night lights. Oh, fuck did you play football? I did and so that at least that gave me like some activity to cool shit. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? That's real cash in Texas. Exactly. It like kind of meant something. I was not cool on the football team

but just by being on the football team and we were like good you had such status. Yeah, I was just like, I was associated with it for sure. You were the jacket and that like, mitt something. Yeah, we grew up in like that kind of a heart. That's awesome. Would you play a opposition play? It was a tight end. Tight end, there we go. Did you still have your varsity jacket?

Probably am I in my dad's house. Would you bring it to New York and Wary? Absolutely not. I never had a damn New York. I was just checking it to the end. I would never ever do that. That's true. Truly, because I would see people like, like, I never ever do that. Truly, because I would see people like, like,

when I was in college, I would see people like, still wearing varsity jackets around. I was like, it's over, don't I? I can't be that brutal. When I was in high school, and people would like, come back to town, and they would still have their shit on. Because that's what it meant.

Like, that's what it meant where I was from. Like, that's how important that she was. One time I got pulled over when I was coming on the way home from football practice, and a cop literally saw my saw my like he was about to give me a ticket. Saw my varsity jacket in the back and he was like, oh, you on the team? Don't even worry about it. Wow. It's like, it was really like that kind of shit.

Yeah, I wonder if they have that same policy when it comes to sexual assault. From going against it's not just parking tickets. Like Texas cop was getting people out of. Yeah. That's so fucking, those motherfuckers. It's crazy that that's how much they love football, that it's like they would literally hide most. And like if it was a murder, probably not if like

the white quarterback got killed, but if like a second string, like black lineman gets killed, you know those cops are covering that up You know that's a school football means and that's what level of athlete I was My shit was getting covered up for sure You know what I'm saying damn I don't have enough reception no We got to find Debbie We ran off until we ran the ball like

You were glorified block. I was tight and we just we would throw we would throw the ball like three times a game Yeah, yeah, but it was like how much CTE do you think you had bro? I wonder I Really wonder I really wonder because my memory is already not that good I really I really forget shit on a regular basis. I got my shit rocked a couple times You know I played football. Yeah for a couple years. Would you play I played nose tackle. Yep right right over the center Okay, 20 Sarah goose the Sarah goose and maybe that's it the goose And and there yeah, may he rest in peace But and there was one time where it was like we were out of town

I think it was like a it was like a warm-up game or something like that Or like didn't it was weird, we were out of time. I think it was like a warm up game or something like that. Or like, it was weird. We were traveling. It was outside of the city. I think it was like before the state playoffs, we played like a scrimmage with someone. I don't know what it was exactly. But it was like, they put it in this like second string

center. And oh, you know what it was? It was when I first got called up to varsity. And so it was like, before the playoffs, they did like a, I don't know if it was like a game that didn't count, but it was like, so they put all their like, there was a point in the game where they put in all the like new people or the second string or whatever. So this is like my sophomore year of high school or freshman. I don't remember. I saw it more. And the guy playing me was like, tiny. He was fucking small, but he was like, had something to prove. Like a polyonic shit.

And I was like, this fucking guy, I'm gonna fucking ruin him. So I just, I'm not, I'm just trying to go through him. And this like, he's like, five, four, like small. And he's like picking me up. He's like, got me by the shoulder pads. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Fuck this, you know, little cock sucker. And like, I just like, you know, I try and swim over him

and he stops me again. And then I'm like, fuck this, I am just gonna fucking wreck him. And I don't know, this kid like, deaked me or something, he can tell my momentum. And then he just like, fucking hit me under the helmet, snap my shit back. And I was just like, fucking standing there. And I was just like, I lined up like in the wrong spot.

People were moving me over. I shut up. There was like, there is four minutes that I spent on a football field that do not exist in my memory. Because back then there was no concussion protection. You know what I was saying? Like the coach said, no you were fucked up and he'd be like, I don't worry about it.

And it was laughing for you. I think they could tell I had a concussion and they were like, ah, you got a concussion from the little guy. Like if you get out and that's me trying to prove myself, there's no way. I was just, so I just fucking ate the concussion from the little guy like if you get out and that's me trying to prove myself There's no way I was so I just fucking ate the concussion up and just fucking saw stars. Yeah, I tried to play football One time yeah, yeah, I'm glad that's You got it. You got it. You got it.

This is the mention we're like, you got me. I was like, I tried, I tried to, I feel like one of those like, not for any of my schools, but like one of the. You got a pop one or two? Yeah, palies. Yeah, I love the culture, of course. So fucking, I, uh, I get hit one time.

Yeah. I was like, I started crying like a bitch. Straight bitch. I was like, okay, this is good. I guess I'm gay now. Yeah, okay. I was on the fence and this put me over here. This put this, that was football was never my,

was never gonna be my thing. But I did play baseball once. There he is. In one time. Every story is you playing it one time. Because like, okay, yeah, they would catch my hits They would get a lot of my I mean I wasn't I would always just in but see even though I would technically be out I just always kept running

Just not how it works at all I was like sliding to home play like I just did something like yeah, I was very Extra-wise Basically doing backflips I'm sticking the landing Absolutely was the best I don't know why you this is so hard for you to believe like I wasn't I You know

I'm gonna bring up a video of Alex playing basketball. He don't breathe a shot that I miss No, but it's will see if we have video that you can go shit rock For all this shit out of here like my shot or did you rock my shit? You know what I'm saying cuz look at these limbs. This is not rocking This should be more gay men in basketball specifically. They're probably the wrist That's that is true. Yeah, I'm just saying more gays. We need or be open about it We need gay we need gay three-point shooters if you have a gay son don't put him in fucking drama Get him in the fuck as a three-point line. out of them fucking dance classes and put his ass on the court. I'm doing it when I have kids. I don't care about your sexuality, but you will play a goddamn sport.

Yeah. Because I am trying to retire as a sports parent. I am. Now I'm gonna fuck what it is. I love that. You can play football, you can fucking wrestle, do whatever you want. I can't wait for the next. You know what you have let it.

You know what you're interesting about that too, is the first generation of gay sports parents. Oh me that's awesome day I can't wait I'm talking about this a lot. I'm like I have plans for this little motherfucker Whichever it is whoever you are here. She I didn't whatever. Yes, I'm okay you trans. Okay. Get your ass back on our Encyclopedia. Yeah, I don't care now. We're talking I don't go fuck. Yeah, that's good parents come talk to me Well, your child is trans and we don't want them playing with the girls I will be a way That's a that's a really great character. He's the guy is a trans phobic sports dad is like you got to be a girl I'm trying to get you a scholarship

That's not how it works. I'm gonna fuck up. I want to be on the court in Berson, you have a lot of my kids. Look, gay, you have a barball. I'm gay with our ball. I mean, she was back. That's a character. I'm pretty sure he was back. I love him. He was disrespectful as hell.

Unfortunately, yeah. There is something, I feel bad for the ball family. It seems like there's a curse going through them. Are they going through hard times, right? I mean, every lamello's been hurt. Lanzo, they don't know what's going on. He said he can't walk upstairs. He's knee-shed. He's like, I'm curse going through them. Are they going through hard times right? I mean every lamello's been hurt Lanzo they don't know what's going on like he said he like can't walk upstairs It's his knees are fucked. Yeah, yeah, and he's still like he's like 25. Yeah, no, there's some there's there's some

I put a car slamming me. Yeah Some's going on Yeah, let's shake it out one day I gotta go to the phone and delete any sort of reference to me one day I gotta go to the phone and delete any sort of reference to me That's a tough that's a tough one. I will say but you look joyful We're playing with a lot of piss ass I love the idea your mom come up to the coach and be like how's he doing in practice and he's like I don't He's got a lot of it. He's got a lot of flair There's a spiciness to what he does out there

The only reason the do my fuck is put me on the team was so they could look at my mom That's the Interesting I think about sometimes I think about other boys that didn't didn't get picked over me. Oh wow Futures My mom was just walking around with the fatty dog of a new future. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally. Just a moment was just walking around with the fatty dog. That's how I got on. That's all good for you.

Good for her too. Good for her. Yeah, she's like Sally Fields and Forest Gump. She's like... That wasn't... It truly wasn't until I was like in high school. I was like 15. The first time I realized that Forest Gump's mom was sucking dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

To public school, it's like how stupid did that man? They couldn't even put him in a separate. They don't have special ad He's like we have special he doesn't tell her that every every Harded kid gets to go to the school. It's like oh, yeah, I could pull some strings I'm a charted kid gets to go to school. So, oh yeah, I can pull some strings. That's crazy. So, do you have any hilarious, like did your mom ever hook up with anybody, like a teacher or a coach?

You're my teacher. Oh, my mom. Yeah, my mom is married to a dude who was a teacher at my school. He's never my teacher. He used to work. I was in the fifth grade. Okay. He used to teach like third I was in the fifth grade. Okay. Um, he used to teach like third or fourth grade

He my mama was in like a relationship at the time So she would pick me up from school and like he at one point I remember him being like oh Pulling me out of my home room to take me. He's like I'm gonna take him downstairs Respect I remember him like walk. I'm like what the hell is this? Your teacher I'm married Oh good for him he He just took her out. Well, man, she got into a second relationship before him. So she just kind of kept this nigga like,

good for him dude. And a periphery like, okay, I see you over here. Like he, he, my stepdad went to my mother's bridal shower for her, for the guy she was engaged with for him. He like, he like, he went, he went as like a guest there. Wow. That's a fucking honestly, that is a friend zone success story.

He's like, at what cost? Yeah. You know, for years your mom's getting dicked down by other guys and it's hurting his feelings. But he's still there, buying her a nice dress. And you're down there. Yeah. One day she's gonna break up with this.

Signing a card, best wishes to you and Frank or whatever. Meanwhile, he's fucking, you know, know doing voodoo hoping this guy dies That's it that hurt the guy she got in cuz the first one was her boyfriend a second one She got engaged and we ended up moving in with that motherfucker, and I hated him He like he was doing weird shit like looking up my biological father is like Like record get some go father's like record. Like this criminal record and stuff like that. Like trying to just get information cause he worked for the J.O. system. That's crazy.

So he was doing a lot of weird shit like that. I never forget the one time I woke up cause when we moved in, I moved, this is gonna sound crazy but I basically moved up into the attic. Cause that was the only place I had to face. I was so fucking small. He was suddenly trying to move in.

And me and my mom were like mom we used to be in bigger shit You're downgrading my man the Harry Potter that's crazy I walked downstairs morning and you know this is like what seventh grade So I you know dick is starting to get hard and Doing the thing of course, sorry, but I had on these plaid time you hear figure boxes, right? And I wiped up from the attic and I'm like wiping across the bathroom like this. And it's probably like a living on the day.

It's probably 11 or 9 degrees, because there's no window. It was the other time, it was the other time. So it was like, I was like, wiping my eyes out. Dick was hard, but I wasn't adjusting. And my mom's fiance and his brother was sitting in the living room. And I'm just like Oh shit and they both are looking just mouth drop like Not unlike the first time

Me and my mom used to live alone. Yeah, it was just me or her and then the boyfriend shared before that I just like totally saw him naked one time like he was coming out of the bedroom I was coming out my bedroom. They were right now right, my mom in my bedroom right next to each other. And I saw this niggas dig just sprupple up and again to do it. Bro, I was like damn. I've had that exact same situation happen. Your dad. No, no, well, well.

Everybody seen their dad's dick at some point though. Of course, that's just like part of the thing. But not in a sexual, not in a post-sexual. My dad would just walk around naked. Actually like a shower. Okay, that was his move. When my biological father got out of prison and he moved into his house and I started going over there,

I was taking a shower once and he just like comes into the bathroom and opens up the shower door. Oh yeah. I'm like, nigga, I know you just got out of jail. Yeah. But we don't do that. He becomes so comfortable with the male form.

And what the fuck? Just ask me if I wanted something to eat. I'm like, you can't wait that He was he'd become so comfortable with the male form You know I was thinking the other day I love you know what I love mango the fruit I love it sweet. It's delicious and I was eating a piece of mango pre-cut from a beautiful market here You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off, being like, this is actually one time after a day I was like, want to come back with some fruit salad.

And I thought it was smooth and then some girl after she fucking was like, that was so weird. You asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort easy Yeah, well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango And I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. Yeah, and I was thinking to myself What if this mango made my dick hard? You know?

I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest. You know I'm an ED. I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services. MangoRx now has a new ED poll that is game changing, okay? Really?

Taste like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, Eld. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than

ever. We're talking zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes yeah that's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turned my dick a little bit. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks.

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We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around. And remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.

I'm ridiculous. God damn, how long was he in jail when you were like a little kid? He went to jail when I was like two and god when I was around 11 or 12 He actually this is crazy. Yeah, you ever heard a big meach the B&B But yeah, my dad was like basically that's why he went to prison because he was basically and He was very close to those people like he was selling him and my uncle and he's actually stars And I am not plugging this down Check out his newest mix

The stars the fucking did like some documentary recently on B.M.F. in big mech I was like 50 cent produced like power under the art. I should have open it. My dad was interviewed on that shit Get the fuck out here. He was in pictures of my uncle But I think I think there's a picture of my mom and my dad on there Were her face blurred and I'm like wow yeah, she doesn't want to be associated with this ghetto actually Yeah, yeah, she asked her about it. Did you watch it and she was like yeah, and it made me mad and it makes me mad too Cuz when he was telling me about it, I'm like if this nigga gets famous before me. I'm gonna talk about fucking thing He gets famous for the reason that your life was fucked up

Yeah, right that he went to jail He was an abuse he was abusive right was a fucking cocaine dealer and that was dangerous of course I You're on your can the can the so-and-ark I The can't the so-and-ark I Drugs on the one drug Pathers was snacks out of that lie. I mean it wasn't like it was on getting any better Rhyme rigger really did me a solid. Yeah, this is why I'm here. You're missing here's where you're missing

Yeah, this is why I'm here. You're missing here's where you're missing. That's why I'm here. Yeah Thank you right away. You would you're missing probably one really cute baby picture of you in a pelly pelly tracksuit and like a huge Gold rope chain. That's all he took from pair of skinny and lazy at-erms. Other than that, you're probably right. You're bad. That would have been a cute pic. It's nothing wider than, I don't know if you all have seen these. I'm sure you've seen them before. The photo shoots that happen at the jail photos.

I have a number of those. Of course, yeah. You know, depending on the season, during the summer when I would visit him the backdrop something like this a little bit It's a little it's a little like mall. It's a little school photo It's probably the same thing as a school photo because it's like you know you have to take it Yeah, it's the back the background back a beach. Yeah, or like if it's autumn like fall foliage Or like if it's autumn like fall foliage. Yeah. But just taking this picture and it's like,

who are they trying to convince? Not JL Mural, this JL family photo. JL family photo. You dumb motherfucker doesn't even know how to pull it. JL Mural photo? Just JL. Just grab it. Yeah, there we go.

Yeah, one of them is like the fourth one. Yeah, the fourth one. Yeah, that's definitely the bomb. That is the bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's absolutely. Oh man. And then I got a question. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Look at those little kids. They look how happy that little girl. I feel so bad for her When I was in third grade. Yeah, brought one. I brought one of these pictures. Oh, no You got your ass

But I think it's I think was like a briga picture from home. I brought one of these pictures to school. I got them in front of your class and told everybody that this is where we went to visit my dad at work. To work. He was working. For one year, for one year, for one year, every two hours, I had to, my, my teacher God bless her had to like pull me out Of the classroom to be like Was your daddy really at work Alex?

like Did you know I'm lying? Basically she couldn't really articulate you couldn't like be you couldn't pick any other pitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course Yeah, I was a little liar. I would you gonna do a little liar? Yeah, it is funny It is funny because there probably are plenty of like homophobic hoteps who are like see what happens when the man's not in the house Point to you and be like here becomes a gay liar Just a small. Yeah.

My favorite gay black man. I kind of like history figure. Just he's small. Probably if you if we're ranking gay liars, he's I mean, maybe there's a little recent he buys, but he's got to be a better gay liar. He's the first gay black like embarrassed me. You know what I mean? Like everybody I talk about.

It depends on who you ask. He's like we don't really have like like embarrassed me. You know what I mean? Everybody, I talk about it. I was like, oh that's true. He's like, we don't really have like an embarrassed me. Yeah, for years, if you were both gay and black and people in America knew who you were, you're like, fuck it, you're so talented. You know what I mean? You're fucking, you're fucking a little Richard. You know what I mean?

Like you're, I had Subway yesterday in honor of him. Yeah. We had an honor of just you. In honor of just you. Oh, oh yeah, that was the, yes, yes, yes. Subway at three o' of her We're not a juicy in honor of just you remember that was oh In the middle Chicago You know you hit that three-year-old That's three-year-old so with mashed-out He's he's pretty low in his life you might catch him You might catch him. You might catch him. You might, you might, you might catch him, dude, who knows? Oh, man, that guy right there under related, kind of

looks like Patrice O'Neill. Yeah, he does. We're probably gonna blur his face, honestly. So no one else will see him. But, um, yeah. So, but wait, let's get back to how you saw someone's penis. Oh, yeah. No, it was my first time. It was my first time. Oh, by the way, it was like, yeah. Oh, someone's kids saw you? Yeah.

Oh, you were that guy. Yeah, yeah. That's what I was saying. I was the man who probably scarred that boy. You look up in the middle of the day leaving us up there. No, it was like, I don't know. It was probably like, maybe like right out of college. Okay, well, I was like hooking up with this girl who she'd had a kid, but we were the same

eight. Oh gosh, she just like didn't go to college and like that kid when she was like 19 or something like that. So homie was like four and it was like, it was just like, I would just come over late, do the thing, leave, kind of situation. And like, we had finished up, and she like, you ever know somebody that just has like a poor mint hat, like she like,

she just like, let's let this bitch have it. She's like, let's let this single mother come down to me. She's not really looking for human connection in the small pockets of time she can between full-time work and raising her son Let's let her Yeah, and yeah, we like we like we like finished up and it was really like me and homie We're both going to the fridge to get juice at the same time and And truly, I was just completely naked and I saw him and saw me.

And I just kind of had to turn and be like, and I had to turn and I never told her. I never told her. I just was like, hey. Well his first concern was what you doing with touching my juice. Of course. He was both on the way to the fridge

trying to get some apple juice. Yeah. As long as you left him. You do the tap water. You know, you're already fucking my mom and you're some apple juice. Yeah, as long as you left it. You do that tap water. You know, you're already fucking my mama and. You're gonna get my juice. It was like, it was hot too. That's what I was getting.

Like, you would never like turn the AC on in there. You don't know what I'm saying. And so it was like, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to keep that energy build down. I was like, way and dick out and going to grab like a. You couldn't have thrown the boxers on, bro. See, at least, it was a middle of the night. At least Alex, as a guy's guy was going to the bathroom.

You're straight up taking- I know where he was going. You're walking. Because she had a bathroom in her bedroom. Oh wow. I think he might have been going to the kitchen. Oh maybe he was there. And he might have gone to the kitchen.

But I never heard in this area where we had to walk to get to the kitchen. I was staying in Kareflin. I don't know. I don't know. His dick was huge though. I just remember being with him. And I was like, all right, gone ahead.

I'm going home. I'm going home. How big is your penis? It's like, it was that kid taking the same thing. I just remember me because I was like all right gone ahead My mom. Yeah, how big how big is your penis? It's I can take it with you. I've never seen it get out of town We've never seen each other's dick. That's almost rude me and I'll just see each other's dicks thousands of times Yeah, I would say huh. All right. I'll knock it down a hundred Does it change that name because how does it affect the dynamic relationship when you see it? Oh, it stops dick as Small as he talks about it. Oh yeah.

What does it say? Stop, stop, stop bellishing, how small it is. How big it is. Man, man, man, man. I think that's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I really thought you were always exaggerating. No, no, it's about, it's about honesty and comedy. You know, I'm a you're always exaggerating. No, no, it's about ver- it's about honesty and comedy. You know, I'm a truth teller of hair.

And if I say my dick is small, my dick is small. And me and I also have the same size penis, but he's six, six. So, you know, take that. Does that- This is not me, this is me, this is me. She's a smaller. This is me, this is me, I hear that the big guys, I hear running around.

El, this is doing that for us. Being six is the little last day. You're not by yourself. But a large foreskin. I have a counter-surprising. To the eye, it looks large. Because he's got, he's hanging foreskin. It's almost like a butterfly that makes himself

look like a predator. Yeah. That's the time with each other's days. And where did you've done like analysis? It's the last question. That's the time. That's the time. We've known each other since literally preschool. You tell these dudes, you've done like analysis. Yeah, it's that last phrase for this poem. That's my heart. We've known each other since literally preschool.

Oh, come on. It's bad and bad. We've spent years. One time I was when I was living here, I lived in this bedroom. I got out the shower in that bathroom right there. I was like, oh my god, stop. Come look at the cat.

She's being so funny on the window. And I know. He's like dude come look at suma his cat he's never once in his life told me to come look at the catching because I know 100% eldest has his dick out right so I come out I'm like oh really take my phone out I'm like wow let me see her and then eldest he's like oh so I have his little Bounce. I have a video of it bouncing to the side and going, you know.

Like, siley trotting back to the bathroom in the video. A little dick floppin in the mid. Right. Sometimes you gotta do that for your boy, though. I remember having like, this is actually the same place that I lived on talk about that when I saw my mom's boyfriend. Yes, yes. I had like a 12 year old, I had like a 12,

was it 12 birthday parties on my day, 12 or 13? And so all of the boys that I was on the basketball scene with in front of me, where we all, all the girls came to for the party, but then the girls left and all the boys with the night. And I had one, this one dude, who I, I was always like flirting around with him. Sure, sure.

And he would never bully me and nothing, but he would always be cracking jokes. One time, well this was this was the, everybody's it's been tonight. We were in the kitchen We were everybody was like sleep and I Forgot how we get that got how we got there, but he was like very basically daring me being like That he wouldn't pull his dick out and show it to me, and you know, you know, oh You're like, oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

You're a turning point. I'm not sure where I'm going to get you guys. This is really the turning point of my boyhood. I was like, oh okay, I'm being faced with this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was going to happen. I'm sitting right here. Oh yeah.

I'm really sitting on my mom's kitchen. I'm sitting right here. I won't do, I'm like, you about to do it. It feels like a deleted scene from moonlight Guy gay no he is now a pastor. Oh I was a little creep though when I was young Just like when I was like like that same dude. He like left his boxers And I think yeah, I don't know Do it

Bro, maybe doctor umar was right We need these black fathers in the home We need them in the home. You see what's going on. I was a little creep. I used to spend a night over a best friend, like one of my best, like, straight boy friend, like, homeboys.

One time, and we would sleep in the same bed. It would be like, head to head for the boy. Sure, sure, sure. And one time, I got close enough to wear like just the sliver to the tiny part of our lips, such as my school. Yeah. Just to see if he was like,

hit me in the fucking face. Or if he kissed you back. That's what to me was too weird, I didn't expect it. Oh wow. But I was like, oh, you okay? Yeah, yeah. Did you fuck that guy?

No, I wasn't, I didn't really start dealing with me until like, I was like, oh, you okay? Yeah, yeah. Did you fuck that guy? No, I wasn't, I didn't really start dealing with me until like, I was like, that's how, that's, you know, I don't say it. Deal with dealing with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Until like 17. Okay. That was my gay virginity. So, the virginity was 16.

So, if you're eating, that you're gay as hell and you got pussy. I got pussy. You see her than I did. It's like, it's like, every time I hear about my, like, my gay friends that were in the closet just pounding. Because that's a way to get, I guess if you have no nerves, if you don't actually like the girls,

it probably would be easy to fuck that. But when you're like, oh, she looked at me and I'm nervous. It's like, it looks like a classic, you're like disinterested. You know what I'm saying? You're disinterested in a like a real truth. I'm trying to be like, I was trying to be, I was really like, there was a moment where it was,

cause a lot of people, a lot of gay people be like, well, I was trapped in a sea of sadness. I was like, no, I was trying to like pussy and just wasn't working, you like every, like I be trying to tell people, I'm like, I get mad as fuck sometimes when I see like a bad bitch. Yeah, yeah. My ass warm in and my dick don't get hot. I get mad as fuck sometimes when I see like a bad bitch. Yeah, yeah, I asked one man and my dick don't get So

And turn your penis wrong If you're listening, we need you in the home. We need you in the home. Yeah, my team, like, I feel like, yeah, my stepdad came to late, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a rear of those dicks, so I can show them,

but this is what. That's what it should have been. Yeah. No, you're right, there is something great about it. When you get the fuck like an insanely hot woman, it's like, this is the best thing in the world. I'll be happy about this for years. Yeah.

Like, when I'm sad, I will think about this and it will power me through. As someone I never speak to, we fucked like once or twice, but just think it about it, I'm like, yeah. That was awesome. Yeah, it's like, it might have even ruined parts of my life for a couple months, give or take.

But it really, there is something to call me biased, but fucking an incredibly hot woman, that's pretty cool. And I'm sorry your dick doesn't get hard for that. I'm sorry too. I get, you know what, it's even, I'm gay and say, but like, I get really mad, don't nod like that. So, so me, man. That's right.

No, I'm the closer, I can't concur. I can't win women like don't try to don't hit on me. I can't, I can't, I just get mad at the very kind of, I can't get women. I can't get women like that. You're mad. There's some gay men that women are like, oh my god, even though you're gay. I'm so insanely. And I only hear that sometimes from like, women in comedy.

And that's nothing, I'm not interested in that. Right. Yeah. I don't want to bang any female comedians. Like you can. Girl, you goofy. You goofy, I'm goofy. You go, too goofy, motherfucking the bitch.

That's not good. That's not cute. Yeah. It's a lesson that it takes some of us years to learn. Yeah. Some of us make the mistake over and over again. You're technically. Are opening to making it again in certain situations.

Yeah. Yeah. Looks directly at camera. That's depending. Talking to you, Marsha Warfield. I don't know Marsha. I don't know who Marshall Warfield is? No, sorry. And you all call yourself comedians.

Sorry, dude. What? This is why I see black women need me as they're not. They do, they do. I just didn't want a woman. I don't. I used to work with Richard Prior. She was on the Richard Prior show and she.

Oh, my bad. Pull her up. I might need her. Oh my God. She her up. I might never. Oh my God. She's a lesbian until the speaking point. Okay. So she would knock above we all down. Yeah, absolutely. She does look familiar.

She's funny as hell. She used to be a night court. Remember night court? Oh, night court is a banger. I'll give you that one. I thought you like named some girl that like we all know. And you're like, we all want to fuck you. And I was like, for the record, I don't know who you are.

For her to talk about like some- You're trying to knock down Marshall Wurffield? Honestly, I'm good on Marshall. We all want to fuck you and I was like for the record. I don't know who you are Honestly, I'm good on Marsha Yeah, you want us to want her no, no absolutely no that's that third picture especially yeah Her night court she got a roommate in her night court days she got a roommate who's been living there for about 16 years you know exactly what that is yeah that's yeah that's a very that's a auntie trope big time let's be an auntie is do you have it are there any other gay people in your family like in the family reunion just in a bit of pop up I got a cousin that just got gay married, which is kind of crazy. Yeah, but I don't know. I love the joke about you coming out during the NBA finals.

Yeah. My uncles were just always like, yeah, okay. This is kind of where my attitude about gayness and being gay comes from. It's just because it's like they didn't care. So lots of that care that much. Is that true or no? Or just that it's important? My uncles did not care I'm okay, but you told them during the final for you kind of huh you you told them during a basketball game for you No, okay, but it was a basketball game

All right, like we're trying to watch the pistons That house has 20 That cow's has 20 That's always no first anyway It's like did you not think that we were talking about this? We've been watching Like six like we figured it out we seen you in the layup lines. We know what's up Yeah, we call you we call you sniffing your pal's box the other day.

I don't remember to the day with those boxes look like just worn down. Basically you can see through the bag. Yeah, yeah, get ahead for a while. I was like I'm holding on to this. I gotta be honest with I mean you know I've never been a some men love our big sniff guys. Never been a big sniff guy

People but people love this like Jim After Jim's name mean mean say that today to me all the time of that. Yeah, I mean it's me I don't like let's go let's go clean Yeah, I'm like funk. Yeah, I'm not a funk guy, but some people the the fucking, the pheromones just get to them. They're real fucking animals. Yeah. What about you, Elders? You look like you've got, you have enough body hair

to be a sniff guy. I'm not a sniff guy. A sniff guy named Mal. I've never been interested in it. Would you boo, would you, people classify you often as a bear? Like, do people tell you that that's with how you would qualify? You can get to them.'s how you would qualify? You're gonna get you.

No, you know what? People like actually rarely have said that to me. Wow. I think I'm, I don't know, I think I'm big. I definitely check the boxes, but. Eldis is now is gonna give himself the whatever the hotter one from bearish. He's gonna pretend that's what people call him.

But there's no hair. What's the hot hairy one? I think it's the bear. But there's not fat also. I mean it can be what if you're not fat But your hair and like husky, okay, I mean don't get me don't get me wrong. Elders definitely qualifies It's a bear. Yeah, you don't you don't get a hotter pick than that. No, I'm not saying hotter But I just people have rarely love that at me that seems like a easy target Have gay guys ever tried to fuck you Elders

It seems like an easy target or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have gay guys ever tried the fuck you all this? One time when I was in Pittsburgh, we were at some after hours. Like, just a dance spot. And I was like, I was just like on the dance floor. Not on the dance floor, just like standing around. This guy comes up to me, he starts talking blah, blah, blah. Then he like asked me if I wanted to drink.

I'm like, I'm okay. I kinda see what's going on here. Right, right. And I like, you know, because you're slowly, slowly starting to, like get the fuck out of my face! You punch him, you start crying. I'm not!

I'm not! I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. You're just trying to figure out something. I'm just like slowly shifting away from him back to my friends kinda. And he's just like lingering first. Like he's like, I'm gonna walk away now. And I'm like, slowly shifting away from him back to my friends kind of and he's just like lingering first like he's like I'm gonna walk away now. I'm like okay, damn

You're like take the L with grace Yeah, it's like damn that's what women feel like like a lot of the time You know like gaming are still trash I still trash and Different Straight man who I say much worse Like I took okay, I took David to a get we we did punchline Lesh was in Atlanta summer and

Philly on Philly, and I took him I took him to a gay bar afterwards and These this dude was like all up in his face. You've got some rough and tumble homosexuals and Philly yo Five money's just got in some guy with a freeway beard He's trying to dip his long beard in your ass No, but you you stopping that guy and Philly from trying to mess with me was that was more out of jealousy Like I think they felt they knew that I wasn't in there a lot So I think a lot of those You think it's how you were accustomed to the ways of the game club

I was looking around in a way that I water. I didn't understand everything and like some dudes was pulling up and every Do though it ever talked to me in there there I like to be like he's not gay He's straight get away from him It was rude and jealous This is not his time He's having a drink and sit down. I see I see I see You get a cock block. There was a truly there was a There was a great porn star who was DM and me remember that

Yeah, and he was like a one-year-old He's a fan of SNL. Okay. He's obsessed of devils I will say I checked out his page and hit a video of him sucking his own day He must oh wow yeah too big a penis Yeah, yeah, yeah. He must be. Oh wow. Yeah. Too big of penis, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be speed it up to really be able to like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

He's like, I really love that sketch that you was in with Dave Sampil. Do you want to see my date? It's true. Well, that's, yeah, you must have any non gay, awesome sexual DMs came in since you got on SNL? I don't know. Because I feel like women are probably going to have a little more, they're going to be a I feel like women are probably gonna have a little more it could be a little more coos

They have a little more tack. Yeah, it's a lot of it It's a lot of women being like oh, we should go on a date sometime Because they can't just come out that's the day could they could they could be Will Barrowing their own pussy in their mouth. I feel like that sure lives one one sure that this happened quite a bit And keep them coming, Gals. Let me get my camera for this one. Please feel free to keep those DMs with the titties outcome. I will be for real.

Some of my favorite relationship, like short relationships, or just even just friends, his friendships have come up, have started with titties in my inbox. Truly, like girls I've met up with had really nice time. Oh, the rock. Yeah. They're the best. They met up with had really nice time. Oh, that one is. They're the rock. They're the best. They're the best.

I literally was on Twitter yesterday and it said somebody like replied to one of your things and I clicked on the page and it was just the girl with the biggest ass on it. I was singing it in the night. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. And I was like, those are the tweets that Twitter allows you to first. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I was doing. Yeah. It is a hilarious lifestyle. I will say. Like, like, thinking, karma and and played bisexual dude on the first season. He's the only one I remember him telling me he never seen that many digs me. I would believe it if he still were getting digs into this day. Sometimes I'll go on Lank's page just to see what some gay dude who I know is following.

Right. I'm like, I'll be following him. This man has a wife. Yeah, he's got a mortgage. That is not, that is nothing that he, that is not dabble in that dude. He's like, please leave him alone. That's also part of light skin phobia, I would say.

Yeah. Assuming any light skin man in Hollywood is gay. That is actually really true. Light skin black man, gay, gay, that organization throwing it in the middle of the life. Would you say Life's getting black, man. Get that acquisition thrown into my life. They really love it. Would you say there's a correlation though? Because I already know.

We got a trucer. I don't know. I'm not saying every life's getting more gay, but there are some life can be. Especially like in the early 2000s, when they were rocking like no shirt and mesh tops, it's a very shamar more on the floor. You know what I'm saying? Soul tree, like sexual life, sort of life. If you you were that guy you was going to have some allegations. Yeah Well not anymore in some of these fucking states

It's coming back folks Things are going just this plan get the fathers back into the into the house. Yeah You're going just this plan. Get the fathers back into the house. Yeah. The father, black father. Black father. It's a good one. I love that.

That's fucking awesome. So yeah, just some dates, huh? Well, you'll get that too. Because the more, that's the nice thing about SNL. It's like you're so, it's so, you're so famous that you will just attract some like, like a, like a, a female porn, or just like, the more be a little aware of you.

I've had a little bit of, I've had a little bit of stuff like that Yeah, now I'm talking. I'll get out of here. Don't nobody be trying to say me nothing Maybe I don't send enough like I need to start posting like Stars traps. Yeah, I need to really up my step my game of like my tail. Yeah Yeah, yeah, you do what is the well? Oh my god. What the fuck? What the fuck? Where's my, I can never have a moment of confidence. Oh no, I'm saying Mattel's doing a different thing

than what you're doing. And Mattel's clearly only eating fish patties and rice every day. And like broccoli. And like, and it's getting in the gym. You might have to hit a couple fucking you know what I'm saying I'm glue bridges

I'm saying stop you do you want to see one of my I'm not saying you don't have a fat ass. I'm just saying good stuff going on But I really want you to see stuff like what I'm do what you let's see it. Oh clearly been in the lab In the lab like getting that shit together. That shit don't happen by going ahead and he just go ahead and he that Let's shake a little stop playing with me. Okay, look that's all with me. Okay, but't happen by going to the beach. Go ahead and peaches, go ahead and peep that. Let's shake a little. Stop playing with me, okay? Look, that's how it is shit. That's how it is shit.

Okay, but we're not going to, like, that's the same. What you mean? You're all saying, this is cool. What you mean? This is not. That's good. Look, and you know what's that? You have my permission to put this on the pie.

Put it on the pie. I'm not permission. You have my permission. Let's get Alex some dick pics. That's right, because I know y'all, and I like this face. Alex out of the face too. Because whenever I do your shows shows I like some of them people

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get let's get Alex some dogs because I need to change the narrative It's time to change it. You do need to thought it up a little bit I need to thought it up cuz all right now I'm just on Instagram like telling jokes and being silly I have changed my vibe. Not to do it. I'm not gonna do it. That's what you need to do. Yeah stop You got you got boys in your DMs, you got even the homies in your house. I used to have a lot more, but I think before, when my shit was just Instagram and I was just naked on there,

a hilarious amount of shit. A lot of guys were just like, felt betrayed when they found out I was straight. Really? That happened a lot. We're like, wait, what? They're like, you doing all these naked photo shoots with Mateo and... It's fully, dude. You're like, stop y''re like you doing all these naked photo shoots with Mateo and Fully do you like put me out here queer bait you yeah, I'm fat hairy styles

I'm about to be in a fucking romper Fucking romper on my next special. Yeah, where when it was long earing Gender's a speck you put a bunch of scarves on the microphone. Yeah, next time we see Stav, his nails don't be a different color. Yeah, dude, that's the move. I don't know, we'll get there. Maybe I'll go into, it would be fun to just like, to try and weaponize, like, trying to get representation and just get my dick sucked by one guy for like one minute and be like, I'm by.

Yeah, we go. Throw me on the fuck. That's all it takes for the world. Yeah. Well, it's a good way. Yeah. You wouldn't be the first person to do something like that. Dude, I started this, I changed the style up.

The real trick that I've learned is technically, if you're with somebody who's non-binary and they happen to look exactly like a woman, like big astities, a pussy, the whole mind. There they them and that's your partner. Technically that's a queer relationship. That's how we get more straight. That's how we get more straight minutes into the community. Yeah, I believe. I'm in. I love they then pussy.

They wouldn't let me. They'll just give me my camera again. If you have they then pussy, do you send it my way? Yeah, I guess pro now. I've heard some from some gay dudes who are like, if you identify, you have to identify as a man. And I'm like, I don't know that them identifying as a, as non-binary changes anything for me. No, that's for me.

As long as you, as long as you got a dick, though, I don't care what you, that's what I'm just trying to dick. Yeah, fool. I really fucking care about, honestly, I'm still deciding how I feel about like, like, titties and dick. Titties and dick. Like, I'm like, whoa.

Have you ever been involved in any trouble, man? No, I often get approached on data naps and stuff, but I'm like, I don't know. I feel like that would be, to me, that's taking, I feel like I can't see it being me genuinely into it. Right. Just, because then it's like, I'm just there for the penis and not the other thing.

Well, but that's the case for a lot of men. But that's what I was gonna say is that's every time you fuck. Yeah. What's different here? I don't know. I don't know. This could be a good, this could be your good gateway into like, you see, you were just talking about,

you see a bad bitch, you're like, my dick doesn't get hard. Now, this could, you know what I mean? Now here's my question. Yeah, hit me. And I like, hey, this is, if I fuck a bad bitch, you're like, my dick doesn't get hard. Now this could, you know what I mean? Here's my question. Yeah, hit me. And I like, hey, this is, if I fuck a transgender woman, am I not bad? Oh, I love it.

We're getting into, we're getting into technicalities here on Stavvy's world. They then pussy makes me gay technically and trans, trans butthole. Am I just queer? I think that's a issue. I take that's made you probably That's probably like that all in compass. You know what?

I think that I think you would technically be if that was your thing The way the way the way that like you know anyone can like fuck suck one of anyone And they're not that thing like if you like one trans girl But if you were hooking up with a bunch of them and you're dating them. Yeah, I guess I guess you I guess I said it Make you softly buy. That's a soft buy. I mean, I've been thinking about that. I was up and thinking if I were white, would I be racist?

Oh, yeah, you probably. I mean, you're black in your racist. I thought, but do you think, do you think, me, do you think if you were black, would you hate white people or would you like, like be a guy that likes, that enjoys the company of white people? What would you be, what would you be a black guy that only has white friends? That's very interesting. What kind of black guy would you think you would be?

Well, is he still from where he's from? Yes. I'm from Baltimore, they're good. I think I would be like pretty black. Oh, you'd be probably. Yeah, I grew up in Baltimore City. I have like, you know, my family all comes from not maybe a hotel. Yeah, I might be.

I might have my, I might have my, I might dip my toes in her tuxed up. My shabble and sweaty. And I'm like, I don't know about this guys, but I would throw it on. Yeah, if you were a white man. Well, you're from Texas. That's right.

So you're a white man. What would you be? How would you, you were a white man, you're from Texas. That's right. So you're a white man. What would you be? What kind of white person would you be? I don't know. I'd probably be like a white boy with a fade. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I'd probably be like a white, you know what I mean? I'd probably be like a white boy with a fade who wore Jordans in his teen years. Yeah. And then what the color would you wear? Okay. I gotta be white. I'm actually about to leave him back into my privilege.

Yeah, I'm actually about to leave him back into my privilege. That's exactly what I think that's exactly. And I would be a full back into my privilege Yeah, I think that's exactly it That's hilarious No, I think that's right. I think we nailed it. I think we nailed all of us. I think we nailed all of us. Closetly gay. Closetly gay. I think we're probably one of them

closet gay white politicians. I feel like I'm at the foot in the bathroom stall. You know, I'm thinking about it more. I think I would be a fat black guy who had like a very fat light skinned wife. You know what I mean? Like one of those fat guys that's great at cooking ribs and his wife, his wife is fat as shit. You know what I mean? Like one of those fat guys that's great at cooking ribs and his wife, his wife is

fat as shit. You know what I mean? But she's hot. Oh, I got a mean. She's got a beautiful smile. You know what I mean? Like, Devon is going back to the play. She's like, Cajun Black, you know what I mean?

Like, she could pass a little, but I'm fat as shit. You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I'm like, you're talking about a guy. I'm like, you're talking about a guy. I'm like, you're talking about a guy. I'm like, you're talking about a guy. You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout.

You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout.

You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout.

You know what I mean? I have gout. You know what I mean? I have gout. long have we been doing? It's an hour. Jesus Christ. You guys are the best Dude I usually do like 40 minutes on Bullshit you guys got to come back. We got it. Let's let's fucking let's solve some we'll continue this conversation through the solving of some problems We have we have a possible black Republican here. We have We have a man who showed a show in a child his penis Technically that is who you are But hey, I'll watch girls trip to if it comes out We're really weird dude

But hey, I'll watch girls trip too if it comes out Poor black it when if it comes out it's all child actors you're like All right now this hit us with the fucking first question. Yeah, we got a couple of somatic questions here lined up Okay, I love it. Go with the starving baby, man Correct the volume. I don't think I don't even know where to start. All right, so I'm a pretty good looking dude 6-1-2-20 I got gray hair and I'm only 35 so no no real problem with the ladies Okay, my thing is this I went to this girl's house the other night

She is mochan hot. I mean we've hooked up before a couple times this X was great It's been like a year since the last hookup Interesting and I couldn't get hard man. It was the first time this ever happened and like a year since the last hookup. Hmm. Interesting. And I couldn't get hard, man. It was the first time this had ever happened. A couple of times it's gone softer and sex, you know, just because the sex wasn't great. And we got back going that wasn't a problem.

But I think what happened is I started fucking around with trans girls. Oh. And the sex is just so much better. Oh. So now when I try to sleep with a straight girl, with trans girls and this actually just so much better. So now when I try to sleep with a straight girl, it's like my dick doesn't want it. I don't know man, maybe I'm just getting old on 30.

Oh man, it's starting gay. It's like yeah for a loop uh... underback a couple seconds that's awesome work getting all the it's just it's really for a loop is now a holiday season and i got dick depression

what do you think keep trying with the straight ladies are just like, I don't know, come to terms with what's going on. He's going through his new, he's going through his new, he's become, he's becoming, he's been thinking about this day coming. To you? I've been like, I've just been thinking like,

when is this gonna happen to me? When is it my job? Were you changing orientations? Well, it's not, here's the thing. He's diggin' stop working. He said it like couldn't get up. He said it with particular work. He said it with work for a change.

Because he started fucking around with change girls. So he works with change women and it doesn't work on stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it seems like he's already kind of answered his own question. I mean, he got there. He's like, we've got to- He started out like, oh, I'm really handsome and I'm great and it ended very like what it, but yeah, I am.

Well, this is, yeah. He's having, he's dealing with some adversity. And it's like, it's not, here's the other thing. Yeah, nature has told you the fucking answer. Your dick is getting, your penis knows. Use it as your guiding light. And also, there was no part of that voicebole that he lit up more than talking about how awesome it is to fuck trans girls

Yeah, and it's just fucking what he said man, what was the exact thing? It was like a It's just so much better You got it brother, like you already know don't listen you're you're this is maybe a little strange I don't know where you're from. I don't know if there's cultural things here But it seems like you found where you really like and if there's no health reason if there's no anything That's the area code. Okay, we don't have to put them on place But it seems like you're it seems like you're from a conservative place Yeah, and even your parlance is wrong because you're calling them straight girls instead of cis

But that but he me his heart is in the right place. Oh, and his- And his- Oh, and his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his-

And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his-

And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- And his- You got your answer. Yeah, because I mean, at the end of the day, you're experiencing pleasure. Yeah. It's not like you're like, maybe you feel, you're straight, you're straight cisgendered area. It's over, your area is over.

It's done, dude. You're moving into a new era of life. Yeah, this is exciting, dude. It's the same different what it is. It's what, he's in his 50s, he's that? No, I think he's 35. I don't know why I'm like that. He said he had gray hair.

No, gray hair, that's why, yeah. Yeah, dude. And also, your 35 35 you and this girl have been hooking up You said the last time was like a year so you seem to be in the kind of place where you don't have good relationships with the women You've been dating and the problem is that it's not but It's not but or it's not grip your dick Yeah, it's hard as the as the trans woman yeah or the fucking their their scientifically made I wonder if that is a scientific thing though. They got do main start like well at a certain point You got a trans woman and want that yeah, I don't know. I think well the ones who are attracted to them are and look

We don't know of this girl as a you know It might be but it might be like a special, a specialty pussy. Thanks for all of these. A medical, and I was gonna say, there's gonna be a point. Like right now, like, I feel the worst for like, trans girls from the 70s.

They had the, you know what I mean? It's like how Dr. J was playing in fucking chucks. Yeah. That's not good for your ankles. Yeah. Yeah. These girls, this is all the technology in the world. They got all the tech.

Yes. That's true. That's true. It's going to be in the next 30 years. Trace girls are going to be laughing. Say swimming. They're pushing. They are going to be in the sport.

Yeah. And not just in the swimming swimming. Yeah, they are gonna do it in sports. Yeah And not just in the swimming pool Well, they are gonna have like turbo science made pussy So the thing is dude you're you're getting in the first bed. You're getting in at the right time You're buying correct Cuz they only got get better. Yes, I always science is only gonna get better medicine I'm gonna get better faster You're in true you're forget you're you're there, dude. You're where you need to be I say keep going though Like yeah, don't keep going. No, it's no shame not at all. I'm sure

I think that's part of his cuz his tone really switched up. He's down He's like dude. Yeah, he is like there's a pepper So there's a yeah, but I can kind of see a sound I could feel a somber in his tool He's kind of like he's torn. He's a little torn Well, it is a type of coming out even though it's not fully you know what I mean? It's like yeah It's a ditch and especially like if you're from a conservative place or your family's conservative It's like I mean he's clearly not conservative enough to not fuck them.

Exactly. You know what I mean? So he's, you know, he's just, And he's doing a makes you feel good. Yeah, but today we just, like, we just all rubbed in, rubbed in genitals, 100%. And he said it's seasonal depression, I'm getting old. No, you're just like, you actually are a little queer.

Like you are, you're on the spectrum and not, and not on a they them technicality. Exactly. Found it a loophole. All right, sick. Thank you for calling in. But hey, listen, call us back. I want to hear I want the fucking we want to know what happened to get married. Yeah, I do too. All right. Oh. Hey, Stavie. Um, so my question is, let's go.

My husband has been disinmitted that he smells my panties and I don't know what to think about that. That's, that's flattering. I don't, it's not about that. That's flatter. I don't, it's not gross, it's not weird. I just, I'm curious why. And he told me that all guys do that. Whoa. And I never heard any guy admit that.

And, you know, I guess the question is, Any guy admits that and I guess the question is is that you all guys Whether I don't know if they're with a girl just smith their underwear I asked him is he does it to my clean underwear dirty. He said clean Or weird I just don't know what to think about it. Okay, but I love you I hope that All of your wilders are going to come. We, guys, we appreciate it. Thank you.

Love you, too. You're a very nice lady. It's a compliment to me. I honestly do think, yeah, first of all, it's not all guys, but we did cover it on this episode. A nice amount of guys are animals that smell, then like smelling, they pussy scent or dick scent are a nice thing to wear.

And it's the guys who didn't have their fathers in the home. Alright, you know that. So look, but also I do think it actually is a comedy because it's his husband and it's like, he wants to fuck you that bad. Panning sniffing is like a very horny move. So if he's like animalistic on a like a super animalist area. No, it really is, it's purely animal. I think it is the pheromones. Like it's, you're smelling So he's like animalistic on a way. It's super animalistic. No, it really is.

It's purely animal. Like I think it is the pheromone. Like you're smelling and it's like. Is it good, girl? Yeah, it's like I want to fuck it. And it's like so he's really on a chemical level can't wait to pound your pussy. And I think that is pretty romantic. You know?

Like I think that's pretty awesome. I think it is a compliment. Yes, it is. You know, it's it's not normal It's normal sexual behavior. It's not like you don't want to catch him just sniffing panties at all time He should he should be discreet about it the way like beating off his normal But it's not if you're beating off She's like she's next she put them in the clothes And put them like no put them back. Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly

I just want to clarify also when it comes to boxes and she like that like I'm sniff no put them back. Yeah, exactly exactly. I just want to clarify also when it comes to boxers and she like that Like I'm sniffing the front the car back Yeah, yeah, no no no no, there's no what do you that's a tough one one thing? And he really just said that is a gay L. I said we can all agree But yeah, it's a good down here. Keep up the good work. Yeah, congrats on having a nice smelling pussy. Yeah, that's basically what it is. This is really beautiful. Yeah, this is the most I've all the calls you've ever had.

This is the one that makes me believe and love the most. Truly. Truly. So that's a nice one. Hit us with another one, Eld. Keep them coming, baby. These are good questions. These are.

You didn't see this one coming, Eld of this that I would ask for another call. It's a fucking calling show. We're all the same boat. You fucking dumb bitch. We can tell him to give up the good work. Yeah. Keep being alone. baby, so here's the situation. Like you, I'm a fellow, I have to be boy, but I'm not impressed with Venus. Okay. Still somehow does pretty deep in the swimming, but I've been marrying for five years. and going to get her about the chance. Her night, all the shabby hats, and you know, so it was up things one night with the third feel and all of that and falling all of that.

The now situation that grows to where one of her best friends who we have looked up with before and after. We have her and her boyfriend have split up and I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm seeing her friend to move in with us. You know, temporarily. I know what they're going to need to. I didn't see anybody look a bit weird.

I was going to need to. I love my wife very much. I also love to see her. She's very much beautiful. Man. What? But I'm just a friend. also. He said he loves he loves her very much. He loves three sums to. Oh, he's wife. Both. Fuck this girl before. It's the wife's friend. Interesting. And him and the wife have been together married for five years.

Oh, the friend and her boyfriend split up and she started moving with him in his wife. Yeah, yeah, he's like, Oh, I'm gonna try to fuck this lady if she comes and lives in our house. Okay. Okay. He's really, okay, let's let's pause. I think we got it. This man is wildly confident in his ability to get it like he he thinks it's a done deal I wonder why maybe his wife has done all the heavy lifting here So but does your wife I mean you haven't said this to your wife I mean I would feel like this would come up if if me and my wife fucked someone and then she's like

Hey, we should let her move in Someone's gonna be like, do we get the fucker again or should we not? We should have that conversation. Yeah, y'all have already fucked before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels pretty. So you should just straight up talk to your wife about it, because you're talking about like, but I know what that's gonna lead to.

I love again that he thinks it's inevitable. Like, you don't think anything might have changed in these people. You're married now, this woman, this girl, are you and your wife still open or were you ever, was this a one time thing? Like, I wouldn't just assume this is gonna happen. And if anything, if you're like, well, it's just gonna happen naturally.

That means you're kinda planning to try and fuck this woman is what you're saying. I mean, that feels very clear. It feels like she's very much like she's gonna move in. And that's not trying to fuck. But what I'm trying to say to him is, those are two very different things. It's inevitable that we fuck.

And like, if you didn't make any moves whatsoever, do you think they would be begging to fuck you? Right. If that's the case, that my hunch is no. It's almost like he sounds like he doesn't trust himself to not be honest about it if it happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you. Right. If that's the case, my hunch is no. Right? It's almost like he sounds like he doesn't trust himself to not be honest about it if it happens. Yeah, yeah.

It's almost like she'll move in and so. We'll both be in the laundry room. Right, right, right. It's porn. She'll get stuck. She'll get stuck under the sink. She'll be like, please, I need help. So then for some reason you fuck her.

Because I've fucked outside of my mirrors. Yeah, I'm like, is the intention. If some reason you fuck her. Because I've fucked us out of my mirrors. Yeah, I'm like, is the intention, if you do, will she be okay with it? I mean, it's, again, I just talk to her about it. Yeah, you need to have a conversation straight up with your wife. And also be realistic with like, do you think it's inevitable that you would fuck her?

Because it might not be. I mean, there's plenty of people you fuck and then your friends with, you know, afterwards in life. There's plenty of people I fuck that I'd like to fuck again, that don't wanna fuck me again. You know, it's that the situation you're in. That's how I'm here.

You know, like that could be bad. That's bad energy. If you wanna fuck this person, they're like, hey, they're not even mad about it. They're like, hey, that was cool, but that was like, wait, that's over. My head was in a different place. Because I feel like you might be in that zone

where you're still reliving your glory days where your wife, I don't know, wanted to fuck a girl with you or didn't believe, wanted to get you to a propose so she was letting you fuck other women. And then that might be over for you. What if he asked his wife and she's like, you can't fuck her but I am. That's pretty cool. I would be okay with that, but I'm stupid. So it probably wouldn't work, but I would think it would be cool. So yeah, look buddy, a lot of these calls end up with basically like have just talked to the person about it. But yeah, you want to talk about it.

And look, and there's also a weird like 1% chance that you might just have the best life in the world She's moving in you guys all fuck each other for at least for a couple months And I want that for you and I did I wanted to go like that for you buddy. Yeah, I don't know that I do want it for him His energy was off Some about him I don't know what it is, but there's something Maybe the last instance on that thing says, I love getting my weed. I'm on the fence about how, how successful I'm with this.

Did we hear that word? I don't know. We might have been jumbles. Let's hear that. I'm on the other hand, I'm on the fence. I'm either one by stranger. No, you're right. It's not a straight.

This guy stinks To brag about the one cool thing he's ever done sexually. He's pretending. It's a problem It's not they were they maybe was his birthday. He was crying And she's like what if me and Erica suck you off would that be would that make you feel better? He's like Anyway, I hope this goes bad for you actually I hope this I hope this lady starts fucking your wife and then they leave you mostly because that last sentence you thought I love you my weed away by stranger also it's not a stranger he knows her true he's trying to brag yeah Yeah, no, this a brag call. Yeah fuck you Have your wife and a friend hit me up though. I'll fuck I'll fuck both of them Let's get another one rolling

Oh, man, hey, so uh So I'm in a band with this kid for a few kids this one kid is specific That killed himself when he was little. Wait, he's got it off of music. There was. So that had like leftover keyboards. And he said he killed himself when he was little. One of the kids, he was in a band.

Yeah, he was in a band and one of the kids in the band killed himself. Got you. Yeah, I thought he was talking about a guy currently. He did kill himself when he was young. Sorry, okay. Okay. Sorry buddy. They're ghost in the band. Yeah Cash first played the boards Okay, let me draw the keyboard and my cap breaks it Hmm, and then I

Shift like the six hundred dollar keyboard to get a thick There's someone that is advertising like a quarter of my kid. Retailers, they'll repair it and stuff. Oh, no. And it turns out that I just got scanned and they kept the keyboards in and kept them on hand for them.

And it's my friend's dead, dead keyboard. And I definitely can't get it back. And he thinks it's still just getting fixed. I was wondering. What the fuck is that? And my dad who can't get it back and he think it's still just getting fixed Wait, wait did the kids dad kill himself when he was little the kid did The kid has the keyboard No, I don't I think the freaky kids dad play from the beginning No, the kid did because the dad wants the keyboard back hold on dad play from the beginning. No, the kid did because the dad wants the keyboard back. Hold on, just play from the beginning.

Hey, so I'm in a band with this kid or as a few kids. And this one kid is specific. Dad killed himself when he was little. Dad killed himself when he was little. And dad lost into music. So dad had like leftover keyboard. Oh my God. This is probably his had like leftover keyboard. This is probably keyboard and my cat breaks it.

And then I shift like the six hundred dollar keyboard to get a day to someone that is advertising is like a quarter like a retailer is billed with parod and stuff. It turns out that I just got scammed and they kept the keyboard and then kept them on and I said them. And it's my friend said that keyboard and I definitely can't get it back and he think of the skills getting fit. Okay, I've got the solution.

I'm wondering what should I do? I know exactly what to do here. Oh my God. You need to learn Photoshop, and you need to get some, you need to find the local newspaper from the town your friend was in when his dad killed himself. And you need to start planting stories about his dad. You need to Photoshop stories about how maybe he was a child molester.

Okay, you need to, you need to, you need to start, start, but you'd be like, dude, I was looking through some archives. The level of confidence that he said, I have the answers. I really thought you were going to have a practical solution for how to repent the man. I was looking through this friendship. He's gonna work. I really thought you were gonna have a practical solution for how to repent the man. His friends branching up is gonna work. I was looking through some micro-feesh.

And it looks like the fucking, the St. Paul Minnesota rapist, actually, it was your dad of 1978. And I found this article that says he was driven to suicide by the guilt for all the horrible sex crimes he committed and he's going to be so upset that his dad was a child molester that he'll forget all about the keyboard or if even go further he used the keyboard of torture to uh... he would play a song that would hypnotize all his victims on this man on a specific

keyboard like Michael Jackson and the keyboard was the direct source for a lot of pain, for a lot of molested children. And I think that way you make his dead father a villain, and you make it so that he's better off with his life without this keyboard. You deserve the mark, Taint. It's a plane prize. So the way you could go about. That is one way.

That's one thing you could do. I don't know if you know the main problem was why is this kid lending his dead dad's keyboard to like his homey? I'm kind of mad at him. You know what I'm saying? Well they're good for they're in a band, they're good friends. I would lend the family heirloom to Eldis. Would you lend something to Alex?

My dad died. Your dad's dead. like what's the item? It's favorite you gotta assume that dad was pretty into music So it's like this item is emblematic of my dad But he also might have a couple things right so you might have a couple keyboards or you know what I mean It's like something that's that meant some of your dad, but it's not like it's it is irreplaceable But it's not one of a kind. I wonder if this is his only major if it's father. If it's the only one, yes.

This is the only one that you fucked up. Then you fucked, if this is your one. But if your dad had a bunch of stuff that you remembered him by, and this was like one of the many keyboards he had, then like, should, yeah, he had. I would lend something like that to him. Exactly.

Now let's say Alex fucks it up. Okay, this is good. Let's roleplay this. Alex, you have Devon Let's let's roleplay this Alex you have is you have devins dead father's keyboard and You fuck it up you spill a bunch of calm on you know whatever kind of you do it in some kind of game You go to brunch you get a lot of mimosa You spilled poppers all over the keyboard Poppers all over the keyboard. It's completely doesn't work anymore.

Keyboard for the rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would you do? I mean, me and Dave got to stop being friends. You just call it off. I mean, man, I don't know why I won't give up all my life. I couldn't stomach being like, dog. I mean, this one, this one, the same thing.

You would take that, how that happened to Will. I think you wouldn't be mad at me. I'd probably be fine. But something, not the exact same thing. Alex and I share an office at 30 Rock, and the other day I saw him at an after party, and he goes, hey, I spilled a full bottle of water all over your computer, so you should talk to somebody about that. When we come back to work, not a single apology inside. Not a single apology. not a single apology inside

We both have these desk like these like a tornado Sure like like like yeah on our desk Yeah, you know, I always try to create the vibe in the room We low lights nose with the purple like sure good in the room the room yeah so I have to go to his desk if to turn everything on this motherfucker likes to leave oh his open container of water as well as a little water bottle what was your water bottle that got spilled but I fucking I fucking had to

I turned the light on and I knock it over put the cap on your water bottle wow this is a this is a curve this a classic curb situation Both have a little bit of something you spill it wasn't I didn't even buy the quality because it wasn't as much but I'm not Not to over again More water on my

I'm not the over again. I'm a little bit more water on my computer. Let's a fucking open container of water on the desk. It's okay. This week you got to put the cap on for the bus. But at the end of the day I think it is his desk. You know, I'm gonna barely rule in Devin's favor.

But you know, I'm not gonna go out and I've never knocked water over on my desk a single time And somehow he's managed to do it multiple times and it's not even his desk. He don't even got it go over there I Nothing over on your we need a new like situation. You gotta get you gotta get one of those with like over your mind I'm trying to create a vibe in the office You want to lead is water bottle? I wouldn't I wouldn't be surprised that this was Alex who called this

This seemed like some Alex style shit. Okay. Let's go back to our friend here if You're I mean he knows it's getting fixed. You're probably just fucked here. I mean, there's no way around it. Like if you have the money, I mean, what you probably, it doesn't sound like you do, I would try and replace it.

I mean, you're just gonna have to come clean. You're fucked. Unless you can find some, unless you wanna treat this like a sitcom from the 90s And you want to find the exact replica and try and do it But it's like is that really gonna work? You're just gonna have to tell him and you're gonna have to fucking make it up to him and buy him This is also a really good lesson in life sometimes you just gotta go to a building Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we do everything online and shipping this this is a good lesson for you

Unfortunately, it sucks that it has to have happened this way somebody's deceased fathers you know I don't know like he still thinks it's getting me yeah he still thinks it's getting me yeah you gotta be honest about stuff like you just gotta be like dude I'm so sorry it's like a it is strange to like ship a $600 keyboard to somebody else's what like house to get it fixed like

you don't have no like low-foot Obitious, bitch is like like music repair like you gotta do a little more research You know I think yeah, I think at the end of the day. I mean you either gonna do that or you're gonna do a stop the Said to do which is Photoshop Our title Photoshop some archival newspaper stories make it look like his father was a sexual Devant and then And when I heard that I destroyed the keyboard out of discussion for what your father did to the children of this community And frankly you owe me whatever they cost to get it repaired that they scammed you out of you owe me that for you know

I say come clean, come clean, and then play for your friend what Stubbs advice was. That way you're free of good luck. It could've been worse. It just did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So good luck. Sometimes you just take a gigantic L,

and you're taking one right now, and I'm really sorry, buddy. And I'm sorry for your friend, too. Hit us with another one Eld He's a fun these people. Yeah, yeah, we're getting good calls. This one short Hey, stop roast my name's Ben my wife and I are going to New York and We're just wondering what are like the greatest spots to go and eat? Okay, all right

What are like the greatest spots to go and eat? Okay. Alright. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. Eldis, why were you laughing while that you were playing that call? Why did you find that so funny?

I don't know. Devon was just cracking. Oh, Devon, you're gonna blame Devon. I was just catching that energy. I don't know. Fuck both of you motherfuckers. Here's the problem with this off the roof. People ask this question, tourists, people, and they never fucking really listen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so, so, so make us do it to the emotional labor of giving up our spots Give it to the place that we like to go if you don't have to talk about bill, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, square red lobster. Exactly. Exactly. It's been five hours and five hundred dollars there. Look how you really go into flushing to get those dumplings. You know you're not taking the train out there. Exactly. So that's all I guess that's my disclaimer right here. Okay good. Let's hear it. I think Ben might. I think Ben and his wife who are clearly asking me this question because I'm their favorite comedian who lives in New York and for no other reasons. Yeah. He'll know what the, he'll know. Why are you guys laughing again, Stephanie and I wish? What about that statement made you to laugh again? They want to bump into you.

I'm laughing. It's something about you. They really trust you. That's why you're laughing. I'm laughing. I am laughing for that reason. I am laughing. Because you're not trustworthy.

I am on the top. Because they're like, we know this man knows at least one thing. There's one thing that he's familiar with for sure. But it's also because all the other questions is people having actual crises. They're like really having these existential deals. And this guy's just like, I'm trying to get some wings. Maybe my wife love each other. We want a nice dinner.

Such a normal question. That's a dual. Me and my wife love each other. And we want a nice dinner. That's a normal question. That's the duality of the people that love each other. Of Stavis' role, baby. And it's always 9, no 4, 800, stop. Call in. Leave us your questions. We're in some nice spots.

We're in some nice spots. Yeah, so Eldest started us off. Dumplings in the flushing is always a nice move. We go to now Long, long, long bound. Was that right or did it actually? I either crushed it or I sounded very racist there. But it's incredible. The soup dumplings placed in flushing.

They just got a bigger sp- not just, maybe last year. They upgraded to a bigger space. It's really great. I got one. Go ahead. If you don't want to go all the way to flushing, noodle village in Chinatown has awesome stuff. No, noodle villages are simply spot.

We took my mom there. We all, like me and my friends and my mom was visiting. And like my mom's been a waitress in a Greek restaurant for like, you know, 20 years. And like she's just not prepared for Chinese, fresh off the boat Chinese service. Where they're just like incredibly rude, they act like you're lucky to be eating their dumplings

and they just throw things out. It comes out no order, whatever's ready, you get the main course, then the salad, you know what I mean? The veggies close Jamaican. Yeah, it's basically, yeah, the Chinese and the Jamaicans have a, and there's a lot of Chinese in Jamaica, a lot of Chinese people. I was writing, I was one of my jobs after college, so I wrote these like profiles for like,

like teachers that won some kind of award. It was like just some bullshit writing job. I got, I had interned at the place and they kept hiring me for a couple years afterwards. And one of the teachers was that won the award was named Jennifer Chin and it was a Montgomery County in Maryland. So I just figured, oh cool, like, it's Montgomery County, a ton of, you know, a lot of Chinese people there. I go there, it is a white Jamaican woman. It is a white woman with a Jamaican accent who married a Chinese guy from Jamaica, whose family had Jamaican food restaurants. So she was a white Jamaican woman who was selling

like curry goat and shit like that and like fucking beef patties and shit. But it was like it blew my mind. Yeah, she sounded, she was awesome. She was a good teacher too. Talking like Miss Cleo, whitetissed fuck, husband Chinese, it was awesome. But anyway, noodle village, yeah,

so we took my mom there and she was like, the food was good, but the service was, you do not treat people like that. She was like fucking, she was mortified, and then you know, they just don't make eye kind of like, okay, here you go. But Neutovilage, service aside is fucking incredible. If you wanna get some real, you know, if you're coming to New York a lot of people talk about pizza,

probably my favorite is Prince Street. Prince Street is the little fuck with the little fucking pepperoni, little charred pepperoni. No, Lita pizza's also fucking bomb Yeah, I haven't been to that when I for people can tell me about that one and my industry Lendus tree or whatever that one's good as fuck And Joe's the classic I like the Joe's like to me if you get a whole pie it Joe's that shit slaps if it's like fresh But the separate slide. I don't like the slice of that much. I like the square Where they're squares and you know roses and Williamsburg is also good. Yeah, if you want breakfast

Yeah, it's pure okay It's breakfast by sauce cure. It's on Seventh I've said seven that have south in the West Village, and that's really good But you gotta get there now. Yeah, you got it is you okay? Okay. This is this is important. Yeah, hit them with it. You they is a pancake restaurant They make pancakes out of like oak kind of like oatmeal It's kind of like great. So it's like how they actually should be made. Okay, don't use syrup And don't be in don't be pulling up with your bottle of on jimima Don't be offended. Don't be offended. It's you can't ask for fucking sure no cuz they already make it is you don't need it

You don't need it. I promise you don't need I gotta be honest. Yeah, that's probably the wrong way It's fucking pancakes, bro. I want to be a little wet I agree it's like they make a little butter on those like I mean they put all of that on your phone All right, all right, it's fine. You don't need to worry about a thing. They have grits I mean, they have eggs that have the consistency of grits. It's really kind of a very area. But yeah, it's very simple breakfast spot,

but it's really cute, really good. It's all like that. So you really gotta, don't be surprised. You gotta hustle. You gotta hustle. Yeah. Of course. And then, you know, some Greek spots,

if you're gonna wanna go to a story, Gregory's 26 is my favorite one. The one that everybody talks about, it's solid. Geeklávis, Tavéna Geeklávis. Good, but I do think if you just go to a story, you go to DIP Mars, you go to 34th Avenue, 36th Avenue. You're gonna find a lot of comparable ones. My favorite is probably Gregory's,

but you can't go wrong a lot of places. What's the one right here? O'Villia's is good as well. I've never been to, I don't often die in a story. I've never been to, Dude, the food's great. And the Greek food, one time you guys gotta come, we'll have like a whole Greek dinner.

We'll go out until like a fuck it. And cause it is authentic here. It does feel almost like Greek, so we gotta have a nice, we'll get a nice crew together, get some fucking good. We better set you uptown Harlem. Hell yeah.

Red Rooster. My mom goes there every time she comes in to visit you. Check out Red Rooster. If you're trying to be a ronsome nigga, if you're trying to, if you want to be like somewhere ready to do in a swax or like getting brushy, take a little bit of a red rooster. Where do we go?

I love it. What place place do we consistently go to? Golden diner. Golden diner, oh my God, yes. In a time of time. Time of time. Yeah, they're awesome. Yeah, dude, I've been on the fucking road so much that I feel like I should have done living in New York.

Like, I've been doing the pod and I've seen so many of my friends that I have straight up not seen since like before the pandemic. Because it went, it went pandemic and I just, I've been on the of my friends that I have straight up not seen since like before the pandemic because it went it went pandemic and I just have been on the road the entire time and it's like all these places I'm like damn I have not been to like fucking any of that shit in like I'm not sure it's been popping up too interesting but some of these places some of these places in New York like they all like

It's like this is not that series which I like doing here. Yeah Like they're like, it's like, this is not that series, which I like doing here. And it's like, it's cute. But I'm not gonna call this place out because the food was decent. It wasn't over the top. But I'm like, it was one of these new spots that's like, we are reimagining the chicken sandwich.

No, you're not. No, you're not bitch. Is this chicken between bread? Yeah, that's pretty imagined. $1,000 dressing on a dog. This is not special. And they are trying to, we've seen it in places that like really like,

oh our cocktails are very, spending like, 19 dollars. Yeah, and they're spending so much that I'm like, this taking too much time. Like I'm sitting here and I'm like, where is my fucking drink? No, fuck that. It's, it's, but the place is cute. You know, it's really lit. But that is a nice thing about New York.

You have both extremes where you have that and then you have just the sickest meal on paper plates with from immigrants that don't give a fuck about you. You can have it all here. So that's a little taste, Ben. We obviously can't give you all our fucking spots, okay? We can't give you everything. Okay, there's a couple other ones, but look.

The golden diner is that, the daughter is that get that chicken chicken chicken club club sandwich. That's the one. Okay, the wings are really good. They give you that big pancake too. Pancakes, but I love a big everything I've had there. You need some for that.

Yeah, yeah. Me and others with the fucking Texas we're driving between between Austin and Dallas, I think. And we got like one. It was like, oh, we'll split one pancake. This fucker was like legitimately like, we're down in the German board town here. Fuck, it was like between, almost in the town.

Was it Waco? No, Waco was a Sunday, and Waco closes, but it was that same route. Yeah, we'll find it later. Let's do one more, we've kept the fellas here, almost probably what, two hours, Elders. We're at an hour 40 right. Oh geez. We're fucking flying Let's do one more for the fucking road. What do you guys say? Let's do it?

Oh look at that inner a stavis world international Yeah, you get a stop on Spin calling from me beyond you. Gaze though. Um, mate, I'm trying to give up marijuana in my 40s. Any advice for someone who's trying to do it. There's something in such that's been making for 20 years. 20 years.

Uh, and alcohol isn't helping. Oh, yeah. Love you. I love you, man. I love you. When have you ever heard of the live live live? Alcohol doesn't help a lot. Oh, it's not helping.

Well, there goes my first suggestion. It was start getting fucked up. That's not getting fucked up. It's last. Start getting an addiction to something that's more harmful for you. Bro, that literally have this kid that I went to College with my college roommate. He was a ditcher to like dip

He liked due tobacco all the time and he was trying to quit and so he started smoking cigarettes That's like the fuck I feel like a lot of people I know are on the treadmill between cigarettes and fucking vapes. Yeah, they're like vapes aren't so bad I'm gonna fucking, I'll just smoke one cigarette to get out of my system. We're like, people that don't smoke doing nicotine gum because it's fucking vaping. But for this guy, how are you guys on, are you weed guys? I am.

You are? Not really. Yeah, never is like social. We feel like, he'll pass, he'll pass. We'll smoke, I'll hit it on the way around. But I'll knock down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Me and others were sucking some joints off in Vermont. Fuck it. We were getting high as fuck eating shitty pizza and we watched American Jigalow, Richard Geer. Oh yes. Great movie. The fuck movie. Yeah.

Great movie. So have you tried to stop Alex at any point? Because I can I have something place here. I picked it up. I haven't put it down. I'm respected. Respect for being able to get through all this You know fucking have a career. Yeah, I mean, hi shit. There have been moments where like It like I will cut back Usually just like oh, I'm broke right now, let me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But I've found actually that his problem is mine and we're basically like, where I do smoke a lot,

I drink less. So I mean, you're actually, I mean. Yeah, I'm a weed guy, not a booze guy. I'm a drink. But I'll drink a couple nights a year, I will get absolutely shit-faced just for that experience because it's more again nostalgia. I want a swag surf.

Like I'm asking the DJ to play swag surf. You know, I'm fucked up. And then, you know, I'll have, I've become like a couple of little wine. I've become a glass of wine. I'll get there. I'll get there. Like when I drink now, that's what, I've become a glass of wine. I'll get there. I'll get there. Like when I drink now, that's what I went on a break

right before I just decided this in that last tour. I was gonna stay sober because it was gonna at least keep me sort of on the rails. And it was true. This last weekend was the only weekend that I got fucked up and completely fucked my whole body up. Like I was or like what I had like, we come back from a weekend on the road

where I'm getting high and it's like, I'm just ordering pancakes, like from seamless. That's a tough look. When you're ordering like perishable thing, like pancakes and milkshakes from a diner at 1 a.m. You're in a tough spot. I can't say that wasn't my diet like last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't say that that wasn't the case. But I had to go through this where I was getting high every fucking day and I stopped and what I really did was just kind of like, you gotta admit to yourself that this is a withdrawal. It's not as bad as fucking heroin, but there's gonna be three, four days that are gonna be atrocious

and there's gonna be two weeks probably where your sleep is fucked, just completely fucked. Fucking Ian is calling me. I mean, give yourself the nose. But I think like you just gotta fucking give yourself that time. And also what, for me, I needed to like fall asleep. That's why I started spugging me.

And the hardest part of the day was not sleeping. So you just gotta tuck yourself out, exercise more. Yeah, I think that's why I started smoking weed. And the hardest part of the day was not sleeping. So you just gotta tuck yourself out, exercise more. Yeah, I think that's really good. No caffeine, like just fucking, you're gonna be a bit of a zombie, but have two horrible weeks, and not even two maybe, even in a week you can get it done,

and you'll get there, and then take it as an opportunity to do more health and wellness stuff in general. I was like, what is life like where he's from? I don't know what this means. New Zealand's beautiful, though, too. Is it a place where you don't want to be high? I think going a little fucking, you going to hike.

You know, they film the Hobbit movies there. I mean, if you want to sick ass fucking plays, just stay high, don't you? It sounds like he's got a problem, Alice. They got that hot prime minister. I don't know if you're living in New Zealand or something. You don't be like a 47 year old podhead or whatever. Really? I don't know.

I guess my question is like what is he doing to him? I guess that's the second part. Clearly there must be an issue. If he's calling into a podcast in another country, I need to find a solution. In a place where they have socialized medicine by the way. He's really talked to a fucking therapist.

He's struggling with something. He's talking to a therapist. That's because I mean, you ask in the raw person because I got high on the way here. Yeah. But that's my advice to you. Just take three days, feel like you're a fucking, feel like you're going through with draws.

Almost like don't expect yourself to do anything or do time-consuming, you know what I mean? Do like mindless activities. Just get the day through, watch some movies, do whatever you need to just power through the hours and it's gonna be horrible because you have a 40, you know, a 20-year addiction to this thing. But awesome, maybe hang out with people who don't.

Yeah, do that stuff too. Yeah. It's like we didn't go far. And hit some CBD, hit some fucking sleeping, you know, hit some fucking just melatonin, like that kind of shit. When I did a sober year, one thing that really helped was like,

thank you long term. And it's like, you know, a year from now, if I look back and be like, oh man, I really wish I smoked weed on this date. Like, will I be sad that I didn't get fucked up any day? It was like, probably not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I would be fine, normal.

But if it is a sick ass party, there's probably one, I mean, it didn't, it never happened you in your year, but like if I was like, dude, I also stopped nine months early because I wanted to smoke weed at the beach. Yeah. Like if I was like dude, I also stopped nine months early because I wanted to smoke weed at the beach Not nine months But yeah, you asked the question you were like you know what I want to smoke weed on the beach fuck it But yeah good luck asked the question, you're like, you know what? I want to smoke weed on the beach. You fuck it. But yeah, good luck, buddy. And, you know, I don't know. I'm sure you have your reasons, even though Alex doubts you.

I say try and stay off the weed. All right, well, that's good. We had a nice little, this is a great episode guys. Thank you so much for coming on. I had a fucking bunch. You guys were awesome. It was cool, though. Yeah, of course, I can't, you know, from here.

You got you. Yeah. I'm a wristman. That fucking free-throw shooting wrist. It's cool. So yeah, of course I can't you know from here. We got you That that fucking free throw shooting wrist Yeah, would anything you guys want to plug anything people can see you at Go to the seller I'm at the comedy seller. Yeah, yeah, if you live in Arlington, Virginia, I'll be there on January 6th. Okay. January 6th. You pick that date? Yeah. You're white alter ego. Who you would have been?

Yes, the capital. And that's how you got SNS. That's right. Yeah, so check out these fellows. They're fucking hilarious and keep watching tell your friends Come see me stavvy.biz you know you know where to find me Follow eldest eldest has this fucking Instagram. He gets if he gets 10k followers. He'll show whole on Maine Who post whole on close friends? The gay bait. Yeah, we're all queer baiting But yeah, thank you guys so much and we'll see you next time. Bye I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all

with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.