Stavvy's World - Esther Povitsky

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

Esther Povitsky joins the pod to discuss her favorite dessert, the childhood haven of the family computer in the basement, being creepy in AOL chatrooms, weaving a twisted web of lies when trying to buy a Prius, her confusion around having a Jewish dad and gentile mom, why Spongebob is the ideal man, and more. Esther and Stav help callers including a man whose girlfriend claims to want a ridiculously cheap ring, and a young man who's doing well on fetish sites but is wondering how to get into a real relationship.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld for exclusive, Patreon-only episodes.

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb Oh Welcome everybody to stop these worlds I'm very happy I'm extra P Povinsky with us on the show. Today Eldis working on that fade out. It was still a little fast. That's a good song right. We could have let that play a little bit. I like it. Yeah. It inspires me to move my body. Yeah, it was important. A little movement, a little you know you want to get loose a little bit. Put you in the mind frame for podcasting.

Thanks everybody for for coming and watching the show. 904-800-STOP. Call in if you want, if you want us to solve your problems, we will obviously get to that. We'll solve a lot of people, that's about half the show. We like to get in there. We'll take some voicemails, we'll let them, you know, people will see your expertise. And I think you have certain, I think you can really lend to certain questions. You've lived a lot, you've dealt with certain issues I think that can help other people. We all have some, you know what I mean?

We all have our little expertise. We do, I'm very curious what issues you like are assuming I'm dealt with. Yeah, well, okay. The most research we do for the show is I'll watch a special, you know? I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's like, it's like, every comedian says their parents are the reason they do comedy. And then you see your parents and it's like, oh, it's crazy how much it's these people's fault. Like you do comedy. Yeah. Yeah, my goal was for my, this is, I think I'm the only comedian who's goal for her special, their special was for my stand

between me the least funny part of it. I knew my parents would steal the show and I was confident and comfortable with that. That's good because that would also, we're different, our parents forced us to do it in different ways, but I would be pissed if I was getting upstage though my own special. We come from a little bit of a different, comedy for me is like, yeah, I'm gonna do my own special. Okay. You know, like we come from a different, from a little bit of a different,

like comedy for me is like, yeah, I'm gonna do my own thing. You motherfuckers have no idea. You know, like, yeah, well how is it your parents fault? Like, did they not believe in you or not respect you? It's that nice mix of like, one parent really believed in me,

like my mom best, best, you know, best mom in the world. And then my dad, not the worst dad in the world, but like, he's the best bad dad, I'll put it that way. Like, he was around, but he still qualifies as a bad dad, you know what I mean? Like, just abusive enough, you know what I mean? Just like, just emotionally,

plenty emotionally withholding, you know, just the classic immigrant like guilt trip, both of them guilt, even my mom who's like a big, you know, who's a great, great mom, definitely a guilter. But so yeah, I think that combination of the one parent, and especially as a guy, I feel like, especially if your mom is the really nurturing one, it's like you kind of believe in yourself a little more,

and then your dad is the one who does it, it's like you have more of a like, well fuck authority, I'm gonna like, I more of a like, well, fuck authority. I'm gonna like, I'm gonna prove it. Can't take a thing. I also heard that like if like the girl really needs the dad and the guy, a guy really needs the mom. Is that true?

I don't know. I don't know. It sounds, sounds right. You know, like that's the level of psychology we're dealing with. Your stuff we heard, stuff that feels kind of right. You know, you know, we've've been are you a therapy guy have you been are you a big therapy head or no yes and no like I recently discovered that I like I think the source of all of my whole personality is that my parents emotionally

neglect me like no I always would say like I was raised, I was watched, but I wasn't raised. Oh, interesting. Like I was kept safe, but no one like interacted with me. But then I also feel like everyone to a certain extent was raised like that. I don't know, do you really do that? No, I don't think so because like, I don't know, so like I come from a real immigrant,

like my parents are super, first generation Greek immigrants, all I come from a real immigrant, like my parents are super, first-generation Greek immigrants. All my best friends like Eldis, who we've been friends with, we were kids. You know, fresh off the boat, this motherfucker couldn't speak English when he came to America from Albania. He stepped, he stopped in Greece for a little bit,

so we have that bond. But yeah, everyone I grew up around was like, just like, like, that real immigrant over the top, like both watched and like everyone is so emotional like where I come from and everyone is so, like puts everything on their kids. And like, you know, it's like for me, it was the kind of thing where,

oh, I had to like be a lawyer or something, like first born son, I was pretty smart. Like that kind of, so it's like some real old-school, old-world, like very emotional shit. So actually, I didn't have that experience at all where it was like, in fact, it's almost like, they're on top of you, but they're not keeping you that safe. Like, you can still go do a bunch of shit,

you get fucked up at 12, you know what I mean? We grew up in Baltimore. You could just, I feel like we just snuck in. We were the last generation that can play outside and just be gone for hours at a time. Both parents worked, so it's like you didn't have, you had a lot of time to, I almost felt like we got like a year-and-year situation,

or it was emotionally super present, and then like, but not, didn't, not didn't feel particularly, and they were protective, don't get me wrong, but it's like when you're so busy, when you're poor, when you live in a shitty city, it's like plenty of danger sneaks in on your kids type of thing. But yeah, it was so fascinating, like, look at your parents, because, you know, we didn't know it, we just met like for the pod, but you know, you see people, you just see like somebody's headshot or you see like a clip like you know you feel like you kind of know

Or you guess like other comedians and it's like it was really cool to see your family because I would have guessed honestly totally different Really? Yeah, I don't know. I just see like a like a Cute Jewish girl. I would have thought jappy. You know what I mean like I would have thought like a little bit of and it's like Such a different like your parents were so, like your dad against the Jewish one. Yeah. And he doesn't, he doesn't read Super Jewish, you know what I mean? He doesn't read like, soup,

but your mom is like super not Jewish. Exactly. Yeah, no. Your mom is like crazy, just like a white lady. Yes, I was recently like talking about this with someone how like I am always in a state of confusion because like my dad was so Jewish Okay, okay. Yeah, my mom was such a not Jewish person. Yeah, that I'm like always confused I don't know and like also there was no united front. It was never like we're your parents and we think. It was like one thing's this and one thing's there.

I was like, what do I do? Like even a couple of years ago, when I was like having really bad anxiety and stuff, I was, my mom was like, you need to start a medication. Like, my dad's like, absolutely not. I don't think you can do it. And they're like, figure it out. Yeah, we're not gonna tell you.

Yeah, which one do you love more? Go with what they have to say. Yes, like every choice is like a referendum on their parenting. Even now in my 30s, my dad will still frequently be like, if we get a divorce, who are you going to? Why do I have to decide? I don't know. Do you think that's even in the cards?

Like, is he just torturing you? He just torturing me and wants to know, wants to win. And it's more interesting. You know, mom will do the laundry and keep my life clean and keep me dead, but dad will keep it fun. I love it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a hilarious moment of this.

Like, almost every interaction with your parents is so funny that you cut too. But there was such a funny moment where you ask your mom Who's mom among your best friend and she says I don't have a best friend That is such a fucking insane That's the same thing to say to your kid That was so fucking funny That's like when you're trying to reject

someone nicely on like Tinder, you know what I mean? So he's like, hey, do you wanna hang out? Like, we never hang out. And then they're like, well, I never really hang out with anyone. It's like your mom was giving you like a soft rejection. It was so fucking wild. Oh my God, I feel so understood.

I'm really glad that you get it. Yeah, because I do, I just perpetually, like even in my stand-up now, I'm like, okay, my new opener this week has been like, I'm a sad lonely woman. I mean, I am engaged, but I'm still, like I'm never not gonna be sad in the Leon's eyes because of...

We are an only child? I was a half-only child, which is not really a sad, really. But older half-sister for my mom's first marriage, like eight years old, so very different. And then also added to the mix where I was like, I was never allowed in her room, because she said I would get my dead skin cells in there.

And she was also like taller and prettier, bigger boobs. Like just, oh, just like another, oh yeah. To making me a crazy person. Oh, totally, totally. I can't be like her. She's a like another oh yeah to making me a crazy person oh totally totally I can't be like her let me near her so not every fucking woman I meet I'm like can I come in your room I have to I have two brothers their twins so they were just like I bet I was the big brother. So it was like, we had like a fun, when you have like two, there's three of us, there was always like a shifting alliance type of thing

where it's like two are always on the same side and one is always like the asshole that's left out. Oh, that's cool though that you were included in the mix, you were not the twin. Well, there for eternal twins, we're test two babies. We're in a front to God. Neither me or my brother should exist. Suck my dick guy.

We made it. But. Wait, what does that even mean test two babies from that? So we were like, honestly, there was one generation before us, before me, like I was born in 89. So it was like one batch and like, I think 88, 87. And I was like one of the first, I was like the second batch and like that hospital of kids.

Yeah, it's pretty wild. Really it means your dad beats off and they put it in your mom. That's really, it's a pretty, I mean, I'm sure there's more to it. I'm sure they like spin it around so you get the good nut or whatever, you get the top notch gizz. Like they have some kind of gizz Olympics,

and then whoever gets the gold medal gets to, they pick those, and then they put like eight, you put like eight embryos, so like, I was one of them. Oh, so it was IVF. IVF, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. There's some signs. Yeah, there's some signs to it. But yeah, so, and my parents tried to have kids. Sometimes I think about how lucky I am that they didn't have kids when they wanted to. I'd be like some fucking Gen X, like Nirvana fan right now.

Like, I'd be some fucking loser that didn't have the internet growing up, you know what I mean? Like, I'd be like some guy with a cock ring with like a depeche mode t-shirt. Why is that so accurate? Why is the thought being Gen X such an it? It's disgusting. Yeah. Oh, I know.

But also the length is our gross too, but it's that one. For sure. Because we did have the internet. Did you grow, okay, because you're like the same age as me. Did you grow up a creep in AOL chat rooms? I didn't because we were too broke to have the internet for a while. So it was like, it was late for me.

As soon as I got it, and we were, we're working on dial up, like I get caught like emailing myself like pictures of a lady wrestler's tits. You know what I mean? Like that's how I get caught. But I never really did. Elders, you were all over the early internet though I mean? Like that's how I get caught. But I never really did.

Elders, you were all over the early internet though, right? I was in those creepy chat rooms. I was like, in the lesbian chat. I remember like there were two different times where I was like pretending to be a lesbian and just like, just random dudes I found to like trade. One person was like, wait, that's a different person. And I was like, oh. And then one time I was like doing it with a guy

who was also pretending to be a lesbian. Why, Elvis, do we have the same origin story? Like, we've probably met before. Yeah, we had a chat. Yeah, we had a chat. Because my thing is I was always downloading pictures of naked women and sending them, because I was a kid. But I'm like, oh, look.

I'm like, looking back, I should have just been honest that I was a 10-year-old girl Yeah, yeah, guys would have liked me more but yeah, well a certain kind of guy would have really liked you Yeah, I would have cleaned up But yes like sending pictures of naked women you were sending pictures of naked women like to be cool like oh This is me like cuz I was trying to get like a guy. But yeah, it's so, it's really, it's interesting. But I also did like, so you were cat fishing very early on.

Yeah. Yeah, you were doing sexual cat fishing. Yeah, I would do that. And then I would like jump back to like educational games. I'm like, oh, hell yeah, fuck, what was that game? Jumpstart fourth grade. With like the robot and shit like that, you had to like do you know what I'm talking about look up jump start fourth grade That sounds kind of familiar obviously we have the classics your Carmen San Diego's You're Shregganoana you ever play Shregganoana?

I had a yes this one. Yes, I'm start games were really fun I fucking definitely played a lot of jumpstart There's one of the robot though that I feel like I played more Do you ever play do you ever play the one I used to have stuff that I was just I would return to that many many time probably I probably learned like an alien maybe But the box looks a lot like I think it might have been a jumpstart game, but just a different one start game, but just a different one than I had first grade, second grade. Yeah. I was really ballin' in.

Yeah. So you had no supervision in the internet basement? No, except sometimes my mom would come downstairs to use the microwave. The microwave was downstairs. Yeah. It's your thing. Now you know everything about what you need to know. Now, is that like a, because this is how much of immigrant my family was.

We didn't have a microwave because they didn't trust the technology. So, my dad was like, we're not getting fucking radiation poisoning. We, I was actually so smart because now there's a lot of famous Hollywood rumors about women that they will not allow microwaves near that because of the radiation. So, we my God. He was like a hot actress. Yeah. That's so smart of him.

Yeah. But that wasn't what it was for your family. It wasn't radiation scare. No, no. My mom was from the Midwest and also poor. And so it's like, they just, we ate. You know what I mean? Like, nobody cared about our health.

Like hot dogs all the time. But the microwave was down. it didn't get primed. I think it was a counter space issue. We had a small house. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I don't know. That's for damn, you really gotta nail that microwave thing. You can't be going back and forth.

You gotta, you fucked that up and you're upstairs with a whole cold hot pocket. It is so sweet. That's brutal. You might have eaten plenty of middle-cold hot pockets. Well, really incentivizes eating in the basement. Sure, sure. You just stayed down there.

It is, to be clear, it is five steps, but. But it's still, that's a big mental chasm, as far as I'm concerned. I just learned that chasm is pronounced chasm and not chasm. I did not know chasm. A classic word you've read before and never set out loud situation for me. I know I made you think I was smart because of the jump start game. No, well that's a game. It's other games for babies to be clear.

That's not what did it. I wasn't like damn. This bitch can multiply. She's a genius. She knows what a romp is. This bitch can multiply? She's a genius. She knows what a romp is. That's hilarious though. That's for babies.

So your setup was the basement is like a classic suburban, like, get into some shit. Yeah. Just like get into a chat room, potentially have some pedophiles at the M-ing-you type of situation. Also, the basement is like, have friends over, turn the lights off, play the theme song from Hannibal,

like make him scary, get people scared, get him horny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I felt the Ouija board. Of course. Like, I do think that as a child, I was sort of running a sex cult. Like, in my case, I didn't that as a child, I was sort of running a sex cult. Like in my eyes.

I didn't hurt anybody, but you know. Everything was consensual. They gave me permission to take those pictures. No, I get you. Yeah. You seem like you maybe had like a basement life, no? Well, we did have it, but our basement was the kitchen. That's the problem.

What? So yeah, yeah, I know it's brutal. So like because the house, so I grew up in Baltimore in like a townhouse that's like, you know, these places, they're, we grew up like pretty Ellis Island style where it was like, I had my own room after being like, I need my own fucking room. Oh, yeah, it's fine.

But my brother's split room and my grandmother was in the room next to mine and then my parents the the Second floor they turned Part of it into a bedroom and then the rest of it was like the living room and then the basement was like You know laundry and then like kitchen and so and my dad made his office there which he never Touched one time and it was like a little alcove It wasn't even like it was a step. It was like this much

Taller like he installed an extra step so that it was like a little. I don't even know what the idea was To a certain dominance. Yeah, maybe it was yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Dad always demand an office and then never use it. He had a fact back in the facts machine days That's where the facts was but he never like you know He truly never used it like ever and it just took up valuable space. But the kitchen was, it did take a lot of the basement. That was definitely a hang zone, where it was like, especially because I'm like, you know,

I've been a glutton since I was a little kid. So the second that I got to be unsupervised in the basement, I was fucking chef and I was cooking shit up. I was the whole, but we had the whole set up, right? So was it. So, but I did a lot of hanging out. Like the Nintendo was down there. Like we played Nintendo down there. Remember, Elders? That was the fucking, yeah. The Power Rangers game. Yeah, I think I do. We're just crushing the Power Rangers game. I play a lot of Pokemon down there. Where you could plug the thing into the Nintendo. I don't know if you ever did that. No, but I have like the there was a small moment in time in the 90s where there was this Pikachu

pedometer You would Walk around and it would count your steps. You were counting steps as a fucking child? And it was a Pikachu. And it was like a Pikachu Tamagotchi. So that was my relationship with Pokemon. Oh, I see.

I've never really gotten to the core games that- You don't seem like a gamer to me. Outside of the jump start franchise. Yeah, I have a very basic crash bandacute with my game. Sure, sure. I thought really committed and those three games for my, yeah. That's interesting.

I know plenty of how girls that crash bandacute is their game. Really? I think that there's something to that. We have a from mutual friends. I know a couple of girls. Maybe it's more fun. It was like, it was like.

It's an easy and she level. You don't have to, it's not about like fighting beast right right right right right right and crash is kind of just like yeah it that does make sense he's like a comforting little bandicoot crash is a nice little bandicoot he is a bandicoot that's correct okay no sexual feelings towards crash though or was there something to him no I did not have no there was a moment in time though where or was there something to him? No, I did not have a hot dog. No, no, I don't think so. There was a moment in time, though, where I was like, wait, is SpongeBob the ideal, me,

blonde, blue eyes, flat stomach, like a cute, sense of humor, self-deprecating, like that, I could see. Okay, SpongeBob, not too happy, I guess, safe, too. SpongeBob's not gonna hurt you. Yeah, although safe is not necessarily a draw.

That's what I was gonna say, that's the one drawback to SpongeBob is that he might be too clingy. To save, yeah, maybe he wants Squidward, because he knows he's gonna make sure the bills are paid. He's got to know. I don't know. Squidward has a sugar daddy.

That's true, sure, that's a, Squidward, those are the episodes we don't see, is that like when Squidward's not in them, he's like kicking up with some like pufferfish who's trying to pair away through college. Some puffer said, ha ha ha ha ha. Just suck it.

I'll give you, I'll give you 2000 to suck it. Don't text me anymore. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. She's sucking his nose. Oh, that feels good. Play with my balls. If you see me at the cross-de-crap pretend we don't know each other. That's what it's hot. I do love high-jinks.

I love to play a game. Yes. Real world where it's like we don't, not pretending to not know some, one time I was trying to buy a used Prius. Okay. And yeah. Let's go there.

Um, and I brought my friend with me and I was like, for some reason I didn't like the idea of like this little old lady who's pretty as I was trying to buy like thinking I just had this like guy friend so I was like just say you're my boyfriend. Okay. And so we go. This is to be too complicated for her old brain. It'll scramble her.

I don't want her to think. But boys can't be friends with girls. Yeah. I don't want her to think there's a situation she worry about me, and I want me to have her car. So I'm like, okay, just say it to my boyfriend. So we go, we just drive the car. Then, like, we've put on this little show, like, this is a boyfriend, and I'm like, I think I want the car.

But now, I want my actual boyfriend to see the car. So I have to call Dave and I'm like, I'm like, you have to pretend that you're my brother. So no. I'm like, my juice. I'm so apologetic to everyone. I'm like, but meanwhile, you know I'm getting off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. you're directing this little play.

You're the director. I ended up not buying the car. But you did make two people in your life do non-sexual role play. That's pretty fun. You're so weird, you're so cool. Non-sexual role play. That does weirdly get me horny. Wow, interesting.

Community theaters, what that sounds like. That sounds like murder mystery play. I've been wanting to do one forever, yeah. That would be fun. That is exactly what we're describing. A murder mystery is literally what we're talking about. That's how I buy cars. Yeah.

That's so fucking funny. Have you, did you orchestrate any other, were you ever like a, do you ever make anybody else? No, but in college I would often like beg my friends to get into fake fights with me in the cafeteria. No one would do it. I never quite found my point. Just for the attention?

Yeah, it's like just like express yourself emotionally and put on a performance. Is that something you would have done if I wanted to? Would you do that a fake fight or with me or just with anyone and call it? I don't know, that's interesting. Because I'm either not shy about something at all or I'm very, I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. To me, it sounds like something I wouldn't want to do.

It just feels strange. I'm like, why? I don't want to do that. Yeah. To me, it sounds like something I wouldn't want to do. Yeah. It just feels strange. I'm like, why? I would want to know the why, you know? That's a tractor. Yeah. What's my one-way? It's my first car.

Yeah. I'd be like, what the fuck is the point here? That is a class. That is such a funny, that's such a funny, like, get attention. It is interesting to the people that the things you would do before comedy. Yes. For attention. Exactly, because it's something you would do now,

but like before you had your outlet for me, like I was always looking for a way. Right, right, get on the stage. Yeah, the fact that he fights is so funny. Well, it's also funny because again, in the special, there's just moments where your dad is just talking about how bad your like recitals as a child were. He's just like, he's just like, ah, they weren't really like, wasn't very good. And then you ask him, you ask him like, you guys would you ever think I could headline?

And he's like, I mean, yes, not M.S.G. He literally says that you're a god. He says, it's not that hard. So it makes sense why you need attention. Because clearly your parents like, even at your like performances your dad was like Bullshit So which to me feels tell me if I'm right around with this like very father-son dynamic of like a dad being like It's not enough where I feel like most women I know their dads are like you're a daddy's princess like oh interesting Yeah, but I I think because my dad never really wanted kids

and then if he, he, oh really? Yeah. And then like, well, you know how some people have a change of heart when that happens? When they find out their wife is pregnant, then seem like it happened with your dad. No, no.

He seemed like he kept the same energy. Also, I find myself hating sports so much because like, I remember remember I have such distinct memories in the 90s of like at my dance recitals. All the dads would be listening to like the Bulls games in their headphones. Alright, you're in Chicago in the Jordan years. Yes, yes. And in fact like that was such a big part of my childhood and my dad like had this scam

going where it he basically said like you could never get tickets to the bulls if you call ticket master Chicago so he would call ticket master in different cities to buy the book anyways now I'm just expecting 90 scams. Yeah yeah yeah yeah interesting yeah but he never probably never put any effort into seeing one of your performance. Didn't never put that much effort into going to one of your performances. No, I know. No. If there was even one obstacle, he's not there.

You're nervous. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny, he didn't want kids. Do your parents, or, oh, so the fact that you were like IVF patients, they really wanted you. Well, that's interesting. Yes, they did, which is also one of my dad being a bad dad makes it so much funnier.

We're just like, you didn't have to do this, bro. You didn't want to do this. Yeah, like you're taking forever. I kind of respect like wanting kids for 10 years. And then your kids come and it's like, I don't know. It's like, this is a little much. This is what I was expecting. I think they had like the immigrant. I think they had the immigrant.

My dad especially had the immigrant thing of like, your children are like your employees. Or like they have to listen to you. You never have to earn their love or respect. They must give it to you no matter what kind of thing. If I become a parent, I like to sound of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your children are your employees. Okay, I will you will. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You want to just chill watch some bulls games? Not look at each other. Sounds great, Grandpa.

I'll just, you know, I was thinking the other day. I love, you know what I love? Mango the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know, many times I've gotten sucked off,

being like, this actually, one time after a day, I was like, wanna come back with some fruit salad? And I thought it was smooth, and then some girl after she fucking was like, that was so weird, you asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know.

I wasn't drunk, I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, D'siaq. Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango. And I've, oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards.

Yeah. And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? Ha, ha, ha, ha. You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd something else. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, L.D. You know I'm an ED. I've tried them all from the gas stations to other other services. Mango R. Now has a new ED poll that is game changing, okay?

Really? Taste like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, Eld. They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone.

I've never heard of oxytocin before my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing. You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing, yeah, that's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro.

Shining in the light. Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. Yeah, cause like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science shit in here.

They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with a new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field right people who have a beautiful goal you here's their mission make America hard again eldest then you know let's get can we get fucking idiot there you go sorry we tried to give it the applause, it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again.

I think on what, whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative liberal leftist centrist, you could, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away all this. I think this is such a good product, eldest. I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on ED, medication in general, because look, here's the thing about mango orics.

You might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal. Yeah. All right? I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend.

The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You've seen, you've seen me take adibles enough for. That's true. Just because you wanted a little dummy. You've seen me take a lot of a snack because that's so much why I had to get high as well. I've seen you take weed adibles.

I've seen you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary snack. I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste. And that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks, buying mango is so easy.

Just go to mangorx.com, complete a short and secure telemedicine visit. You're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit. You're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over and literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing quick and easy. Be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order.

You and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb.

My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends

or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. So you and you are raised with your grandma living with you. She was, she would live probably half the year she go to Greece. She was from a real snowy Island and snowy village like in northern Greece. So she would know such a thing. I know people don't think yeah because Greece if you go real north it's like basically like you know the Balkans or whatever so it's like real mountainous and she was from the northern most northern part of Greece and so she would spend probably the winters, she probably spend the winter half of the year in Baltimore.

She would, yes, she would winter in Baltimore. How exotic. Yeah. See, I have this like grandparents size toll in my heart because my dad's parents passed away before I was born. And so I'm always like, what would it have been like for grandparents to love me? So I hear that your grandma was with you. Like was that the fantasy that I think it was?

Was it like an extra set of love that you did? Yeah, she's pretty cool, yeah, she rocks. I mean, my dad's side was really, because my dad's parents were in Greece. And so we saw them pro, I saw them probably, you know, five or six times my whole life, even those for a long time. But, and this is before,

who, for these kids that have to face time with their grandparents, like the one phone call a month, they're like, I don't want to. You know, like, I don't wanna fucking talk to some fucking guy in Greece, I don't know. I gotta speak Greek, my Greek is bad, he's gonna think I'm an asshole.

But, my grandma in America America, yeah for sure. She was awesome and like, she's very funny. I don't know, like you miss out on a lot of fun stuff with grandparents where it's like, she just will never stop telling the same story. Like there's drawbacks, you know, there's desserts, you know, like she'll give you some desserts, she'll be around, but there's also like hearing about how desserts. She'll give you some desserts, she'll be around.

But there's also hearing about how she was the smartest girl in her village. Every time you talk to her, if it wasn't how she used to run her dad's convenience store and she was going to go to college, but then she married my grandfather. Right, so it's like your fault. Yeah, you hear a lot of... That is the thing about grandparents that I do look forward to at least and like because basically like you said she's telling you what what it was like in her village. It's like she is has she can say anything she wants. Totally. Like she's you're a whole new audience and new generation. Like that's

the thing I'm learning too is like I'm getting older. I'm like, Oh, there's all these younger people that are stupider than me. Yeah, you can lie to them. You can make up a whole person. You never were. Like I don't know about it. Yeah, who knows what my grandma was up to? She might have been dumb as shit But lying yes, it seems like you can really create a fantasy. Yeah, a whole new narrative. Yes. That is yeah, that is super funny If you see me around a bunch of like 13-year-old girls, you'll know what I'm doing. It's not about how cool you were. How many dudes were hitting you up in the chat rooms?

Yeah. Damn, that's so, yeah, but I mean like, so you had no grandparents on mom's side either. I did, but they were like so. Real. Very Goyish grandparents, very non-Jewish. Whereas I feel like the Jewish ones would have loved me.

Totally, you wanna. The boy ones are like, smoking cigarettes, drinking. Wow. They're just like, what are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my most distinct memory of my grandma is me sitting in a room in her house and her walking past the room, looking at me

and just turning the light off on me. I'm walking away and like, okay. That's fine. Just a really basic sign of disrespect. Yeah. Like there's no words need to be spoken. I wreck, this is the mistake. I'm looking at you so you know I'm registering you and I'm still closing the light.

I'm still turning it. I'm still turning it. I don't need other memory with my grandma. It's like one night, one time she was like, do you want to go get some chips at the gas station? I was like Yes grandma, and then we got there. I'm like, oh, she just needed cigarettes How old were you though? I was probably like I never know that Could be five could be that sucks that you were old enough to register that because how many how many like awesome childhood memories? Do people have that don't realize like oh my they were doing something else?

Yes, my dad was covering for me or he was using me as covered as sheet You want to go to the mall and then you can watch men and black with your friends? Well, I take off for an hour. Like, that's like so many kids have an awesome memory that was the reason their parents got divorced. You know what I mean? So it's a shame that you didn't, you know, that you didn't know, you just, because if you were just a little younger, you would have thought, oh me and grandma should trip to the gas station.

Yeah, it's what, so my dad was also a compulsive gambler. Oh, yeah. the gas station. Yeah, so my dad was also a compulsive gambler. And he started. And so he would go on these trips to Vegas. That's old school. I love that. He would come back with all these presents for me. And so for me, I'm like, oh my god, like my dad comes back from Vegas and brings me toys. But it's really just like, oh oh he lost money and then had casino gift shop points. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was going to present. 100%. Yeah. So like you do the math, it's not great, but you get a little I full tower, but you're not going to college anymore. Now you're in debt for college if you want to go. Damn, compulsive gambling, sports gambling or what? Um, no, like cards, yeah, poker and stuff like that. And I guess some sports gambling.

I'm just, I'm guessing that because I feel like I've heard my dad over the years say like, there's no reason to watch a game if there's not money on it. And then the little action on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, that's hilarious. Do you have any compulsive shit? Have you, did you get that genital? Because like my, my grandfather's an alcoholic and I don't have that, but Damn, that's hilarious. Do you have any compulsive shit? Have you, did you get that gene at all? Cause like my grandfather's an alcoholic, and I don't have that, but it's definitely present in the way I eat.

Like my mom would never touch a drink, but it's like she would crush desserts. You know what I mean? And it's like, you know, so like, you can have that gene, even if it's not. A hundred percent, that's me exactly. Like I've never had alcohol because I've been so scared. Oh wow. And cause I'm like have that gene even if it's not the same way. A hundred percent, that's me exactly. I've never had alcohol because I've been so scared. Oh wow.

Because I'm a dessert person. Yeah, yeah, and how we're talking. Yeah. Let's talk desserts after this question. Yeah, yeah. I've had, yes, I'm definitely a struggle with binge eating and a sweet tooth. Then I would also say, last year, so I had never tried any drugs or alcohol, but last year I tried weed for the first time.

And now I'm pretty much a nighttime pothead. Yeah, how are you doing, we person? I definitely, yes. For sure, in fact, if there's one drug that is a problem for me, it's weed. When I see I'm getting sober, like I could honestly have a couple beers, like on the road, I've stopped smoking on the road because it just fucks like it's like it really acts as a gateway drug the way

like the way they warned us it would like for me I am the guy that it actually is like that like I smoke weed. It's so nice when that happens, right? You're like, oh they were right about something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the good thing I listened to is a teen, this would have ruined my life. I smoked a little bit when I was, you know, like, yeah. Yeah, the good thing I listened to is a teen. This would have ruined my life. I smoked a little bit when I was, you know, like a teenager.

I drank more when I was younger, just because it's like more social. But now I don't, drinking is not an issue, but yeah, weed, it rocks, but I will just, especially when eating is your problem. If you're getting fucking high, and you're eating like shit, and you're on the road and you're lonely.

Yeah. And I've been on the road basically like, I don't know, every weekend. This is my first week. It's the first week I've had off since December that I'm not on the road. So it's just like, it's like when you guys have nothing else to do, you're just gonna get how you're gonna eat like shit.

It feels great, but you're just like, you do that every day. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not helpful. But yeah, that is definitely, it's the funnest one. And I do want like one version of my life that's the best that I felt the best was

when I was during the pandemic. I was working out all the time. I lost a bunch of weight. I was working out and I would just like, after my workout, get a little high and watch a movie. And like that day is the best day possible. It's like do something healthy in the beginning. I would even work.

I would either like podcast or write something. And then it was just like, get stoned, movie, and eat good. Like I would eat, I was eating really healthy. So like grill shit and eat it. And I would have like veggies. And I would have like smoothies and shit like that. Like I was strict about my eating,

but I would like, I timed everything so that weed was like, okay, recovery and like. And it's like, okay, so you eat a little extra chicken breast. You know what I mean? Like who gives a fuck? That's totally like the lifestyle. I feel like I'm always trying to achieve too. I feel like together we could have a really successful

like eight days. Yes, yes, yes. We set boot campsite. It's the best. That's my favorite shit. And so that's my goal. I'm super busy until July. But when the middle July to all of August,

I'm just living that lifestyle, where I'm just working out, eating real clean, but we'll see. I hope I don't get anymore Like I hope I don't get more opportunities It sucks. It's like you know you're a lazy person. We're like fuck. Why is my career going good? I want to just chill out in my house And just fucking get big arms. I wonder if I can get fucking swole Speaking of desserts. Yes, so let's talk desserts. I definitely feel tried and true like my favorite dessert flavor profile. Yes S'mores. Ooh, so I think and you'll apply that to a number of things. Yeah, so I think I'd say ice cream. Yes

Like more bread pudding You know fuck I'm getting I'm getting crazy now. Yeah, I love that. Like, anything that has chocolate, marshmallow, and ground cracker taste, I'm like, that is like the ultimate I'm getting off. And I also, in the pandemic, what I discovered was I really have this intimate relationship with something I call dry smores, which is where you don't cook it, you don't heat it up. It's just raw.

It's like the raw chocolate, the raw marshmallow, it's not even melted at all. Yeah. Make that with a grim car, and it's like, it's so satisfying to eat. I love that you call it raw, it's just like, just eating a marshmallow, like you're eating chocolate marshmallow.

Like the heat is what makes it barely acceptable, you know what I mean? But if you eat any of those other ingredients, that really is like, you just put some random shit. Call it deconstructed, you know what I mean? But if you eat any of those other ingredients, that really is like, you just put some random shit. Call it deconstructed, you know what I mean? Like this, now you're getting real fucking fancy. But that is like a white trash dessert if you don't heat it up.

Like a marshmallow. You're not in a good place. I love, and thank you by the way for break, I love the breakdown of flavor profile. And now we can talk textures. We can talk temperatures. We can talk, this is great. Because I would say my favorite dessert profile

is probably a chocolate peanut butter pretzel situation. Those three are probably my number. And I'll apply those across anything. That's that's very hot. I also it's I want to compliment you because what like I've heard Dr. Oz say. Pretty sure he's like a senator now or something. He tried. He lost. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. people. Yeah, yeah. She would say that every piece of ass I know talks about Dr. Oz. By the way, you're so right about that. Thank you, Stu. Yeah.

Peanut butter and, well, dark chocolate. Yes, dark chocolate. Those two together are like the best way to like accurately treat dessert or sweet craving because you're like getting it's like yes protein and then the chocolate is like very rich or whatever. So that's a very advanced flavor. And yeah that's what I do. I didn't say dark chocolate but you're right. Is dark chocolate is my if I had the guess if I had to pick the chocolate is dark chocolate. Really? Yeah yeah for sure. Okay cool I

love that. I love dark chocolate. And the pret, yeah, for sure. Okay, cool. I love that. I love dark chocolate. And the pretzel with the salt. I gotta get a little salt and crunch in there too. So I feel like that's the, and then if I had to pick my favorite, weirdly my favorite type of dessert is a really good bread pudding. Yeah. So mine, wait with what?

Little ice cream on top. Oh, okay. I don't love mixing temperatures. Sure. So I't love mixing temperatures. Sure. So I do a big temperature mixer. At least ice cream on top does something nice to it. Because you get three desserts for the press of one.

You get the hot, right? You're gonna get a little piece of the hot. You get the cold when you just get a spoonful of cold and then you got some weird little fucked up mishmash in the middle. That's always different. That's always different. That's always different. That's true.

I guess I'm thinking more so like, if I'm having a slice of apple pie, I actually don't want ice cream touching it because I don't want to cool down the pot. And that's fair. I don't want milk today. There's place, there's all sorts of philosophies that go into the dirt.

Thank you. My body, my choice. Thank you. That's the only place I think women should have autonomy. These are desserts. Everything else, Rovey Wade's gotta go. No. No.

No. So, okay, my favorite dessert that's like, so I cannot control myself. Like, I have to wear handcuffs around me. Hell yeah, let's talk. Is a cinnamon roll. Hell yeah, a class. Like a cinnamon roll. Oh, a class. Like a cinnamon roll.

Yeah. How about the middle of a cinnamon roll? It's like, good Christ almighty. The pussy part of a cinnamon roll. That's like, yeah. That's like, yeah. Let me get the pussy of the cinnamon roll. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Like that part and then also getting extra frosting. Like, because you know you're just like a fat girl. That cinnamon roll is definitely the thing that like, hell yeah. That's my heroin or whatever. I totally, I fully 100% get that. I do think, yeah, I definitely like a cinnamon roll. It's just outside the top.

I respect it, but it doesn't do something like primal to me. You know what I mean? I'm always happy to eat one. Don't get me wrong. I'm never mad about a cinnamon roll. I love how you're saying it's not primal, but you just refer to the mills of the people. Well, it is, if we're being honest. There's a real pussy quality to that middle part of a cinnamon roll.

And it's like, it really is like a one where it's like the outer edges, like the head, the brain. It's fine. I don't mind the brain of a woman, but it's not as good as the pussy. Oh my god, it is dead after it. That's I'm part of the project. Yeah. Oh. Oh. You the massage you need to serve our folks.

Welcome to Stavis World. Hey, the massage is dessert hour. I am being a pick me. And the. We're talking desserts. It's all good. We could really, yeah, we could continue talking. We should move it on because I will go down the dessert rabbit hole Yeah, yeah, yeah, we gotta get serious here

We're gonna take it too far. Oh, fuck yeah, I would love you. Yeah, we'll put a pit next time We'll talk ice creams. Yeah, we'll talk pies. We'll figure it out I respect the no I respect just having a strong philosophy about temperatures either way. So it's good. I get that. No big deal. What about a glass of, we go glass of milk? That is the funniest question I've ever been asked. In a way you asked it, like you touch your glasses, you moved your arm, it was so formal. Yeah. You know, glass of milk is hard, right?

It's okay if you're not. That's a hard question, because once you start talking about milk, it's like a lot is coming up for me, you know, right? Very, probably. The dairy is not full anymore. The hatchet, that's part of your jeans are coming up, are we lactose intolerant? No, but it's just more about like trying to follow the trends. Oh, I see, I see.

Is it oat milk? No, it's not oat milk anymore. Omox out. Now it's almond milk, but it's not store bought. It has to be homemade. So it's like milk is just complicated for me. Sure, sure, sure. But that does sound delicious.

Yeah, yeah. Wash it down with a glass of milk. Totally. Also growing up like my after school snack was always Oreos dipped in milk. Hell yeah. Yeah. Now we're talking.

And every, yeah, we really were, again, with the last generation just guzzle milk. Yeah. It was all over the place. They made us do that. Got milk, come on. Every famous person has the fucking milk mustache? Yeah, that is, this is like the problem I have

with growing up is realizing that everything we did was just because of the preparation. Was advertising, I know, I know, it's that's our whole culture. Yeah, we had, we had honestly no free will. No, I remember for my birthday my, I was like six, six or seven. I was really young birthday. It was the first one I remember demanding little Caes's pizza because of the pizza pizza guy. And I never had little Caesar in my life and my dad brought it and I was like, this pizza fucking sucks. I remember that was the day I learned like, wait a second, they're

fucking lying. You are so young. I did because the little Caesar's because it broke my heart because we were Papa John's family or like a local local You know, we had like a lot we had surprisingly good local pizza in Baltimore Shout out to Filipos. I don't know if they're still in business. They had a crazy bacon slice Good stuff the whole slide. We're talking like a whole slice of bacon. Well, that's how you did like little Caesar Yeah, yeah, this year was too good. Yeah, for sure I grew up liking little Caesars, which now I feel like trash admitting it But that's also a mid more of a Midwest chain isn't it little yeah, maybe we yeah Little Caesars pizza Hut the pizza hut buffet. Well pizza Hut was for fucking special occasions

You don't have fucking pizza on a Wednesday You fucking put on a little polo You've read all your books for the summer, you know, you go get your free personal paying pizza Yeah, that was awesome too now pizza hut has become it's disgusting what they've done to that beautiful brand They've they've completely yeah, it was don't get me started on what they've done to pizza I feel the same way about Burger King like it used to be an institution It used to be like there was respect the Wopper was be an institution. It used to be like, there was respect.

The wapper was fleeing the world. The wapper is what they're clinging to for sure. But it's like, now it just, the quality isn't there. There's no quality control in that food these days. I agree, I fully agree with you that it was always, it was a two horse race. It was McDonald's and Burger King.

Look, McDonald's did have the edge. So it's not kid ourselves. Yeah. McDonald's was the king, but working was nipping at its heels. Yeah. You know, and then they just couldn't keep up. Chick-fil-A. When these has a huge, you know, like sort of bigger in the consciousness, their food gets better, I think. And yeah, with time. Get with time. Yeah. Pop. We were always pop-by's family. Pop-by's is my number one. Oh, it's your first food? Really? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, we never had that. Like, I would say Taco Bell was my number one. He's a Taco Bell guy. I never, I honestly had never had tacos until I was like, I don't even fucking know. I had Taco Bell one time at Pee Touse, our friend Pete, when my mom went to Greece for a month because of a family emergency,

and my dad didn't want to look after his children. So he would just park us with family friends for extended periods of time. And that's when I first had Taco Bell, but yeah, weirdly, it's so funny to think about how broke my fucking childhood was, because I didn't have any ethnic cuisine that wasn't shitty Chinese food or pizza.

Like, everything I ate was fucking homemade or from the Greek restaurant my mom worked at until I was literally in middle school. Yeah, I don't think I had much like cuisine eye opening experiences until. Oh yeah, Taco Bell. You went south of the border. Yeah, I did. You're having a gordita.

And in high school our neighborhood got a Chipotle and that's what things really changed for me. Oh, I remember having to drive to Chipotle. I remember commuting to Chipotle. I remember commuting to Chipotle. We would cut school to go to Chipotle because there was one like 20 minutes from our high school and we were just piling the car,

skip out on art class. It's still, the thing is, it's, it's, doesn't it feel new? Like that's what's so funny. To me, I'm like Chipotle. That thing just came out. But yes, I got it in high school. And I'm a 34 year old man.

Like that was fully 15 years ago. It's also the only cuisine that like, 18 years ago. A full adult person is when I had Chipotle for the first time, like yeah, that's the new restaurant that just came out. But that's a real feeling, like, right, like feeling like yesterday was, you know,

15 years ago, whatever. 100%. Yeah, Chipotle, to me, is the one that holds up. Like, that's still a quality meal that's in my rotation, whereas, like, Taco Bell, I try not to. Oh, no, you can't. But Chipotle, like, I. Chipotle's still in the mix, for sure.

Yeah. No, for sure. And then the other, like, Popeyes is a, for sure. And then the other like Popeyes is all is a treat for me. And again, the reason Popeyes means so much is because the public library that we would go to, like where I would play Jumpstart, for example, or Streganona, or my mom would just like she would park us at the library and like go do errands. And on the way back, if we were good, there was a Popeye's on the way back. So literally the reason I know how to read, it's because of Popeye's.

It's like my mom was like, read this book, play these games, don't fucking, and we will get Popeyes and it fully work because I love Popeye so much. We should be applying that principle to our lives. Now I'm always thinking, I need to like, dangle treats so that I, but for me, it was, I was more of a KFC, we were a KFC house over.

Now this, this is a real, you know, this is like, I've had an open mind up until now, but I don't know that I can do. Okay, this is like real, like, I have had it recently and I can confirm it's disgusting. It sucks, yeah, yeah. But when it was popcorn chicken season, like that was when I... Sure. It's because it's basically not even me. It's not, yeah, it's all breading. Yeah.

Even the Popeyes brings even better. Really? I really have, have you had Popeyes in your life? You know, I don't think I have, but I... One, the all I ask from a spot cast. The only thing I ask is the next time you have a hand cream for fried chicken, please have Popeyes and please tell me how it is. I guarantee you it's, it's like 80, I would say 90% is good as like if you sit down at a restaurant that's like specializes in fried chicken, Popeyes is 90% is good. How does it, like where does it line up with the Chick-fil-A comparison? Oh, well, I mean, they'll fry real pieces of chicken.

Chick-fil-A is a sandwich restaurant. Popeyes, you get the whole bird, baby. Oh, God, I love the whole bird. You get the whole bird. A drumstick, a thigh? Come on, yeah, just, that's all I ask. Cause the next time you want fried chicken, go to the chicken.

I feel like it's been two weeks with you and completely have my life be flushed on the toilet. Like I and would be the best two weeks or at the end of it, we'd have to walk away. No, we'd never see each other again. We would have an incredible two weeks and they'd be like, all right, shake hands. This was awesome.

I'll never forget this. NDA's all around. But yeah, we pretend like we meet the next time we're in a show. Oh, hey, as I go. Oh, yeah. See what I said? I could go down the, once you got me started on desserts, it's been 20 minutes on fast food chains.

I know. I have the same issue. People are gonna have a field day in the comments. They don't like food, so why is that so fun? No, they do. They just know how much I love it. I'll just do you have anything to chime in

on the fucking fast food wars? I know you must be chomping at the bit. Yeah, I don't know. I'm all over the place. I do, I do wanna say do you remember what they changed the fries at burger King the recipe? They were so I was holding on to that one. I remember like the new recipe was so good. You were definitely a burger king guy for sure. Yeah, like the whopper is like the

whopper is like the closest fast food burger that tastes like an actual burger. Yeah, like it's own. We've had conversations before, off mic, just in our lives where, where eldest has used the phrase, the Whopper has star power. And you know what? I agreed with him. I was supporting him in our, you know, I was like, he's right, the Whopper does have star power. It really does. it's so good.

And my dad would even always give me the tip. Like when you go to Burger King, ask them to make it flamethrower. Like you have to ask, like make sure that it's a fresh one. I don't know if they still do that. But and also I'm so glad you brought up the fries because the burger, okay. We all know McDonald's fries are like the superior. Like that's the Barbie doll of fries. Like that's the perfect version.

But then you try Burger King fries and you're like, these are great too. And I feel like that's the first time I learned, like, oh, you can have different types, like, you can like different types of men and women. And like, all of it. There's a place for everything. Yeah.

And you might like the fucked up weird one a little more than the McDonald's one. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. No, your, yeah, fast food is a good way for children to learn about the diversity of life. Fast food fries, you know? The first time you have a waffle party, like, what the fuck is this?

Yeah. What the hell kind of shape is this? That did blow my mind. And those fucked up fat wedges. I hate the western fry. I hate the stew. I hate the stew. It's so good. It's of here. Get out of here.

But it's disrespectful to potato. Absolutely. But a good steak fry when it's thick and cooked all the way through. Crispy, yeah. I like that. But it's got, yeah, but it's in a little, a little given the middle.

Man, this really is the best podcast I've ever done. We should probably move on to the questions before we talk about every food that's ever, before we've ranked every cuisine. Well, I'm like stopping myself from going back to desserts. You know what I mean? So there's so much, you gotta come back sometime. Because there's so much,

I mean, there's so much about your family. It's so funny that I want to ask about more, but we spent most of our time talking about the wapper. So why don't we get to some questions? What do you say? Why don't we, um, let's try to help others. Why don't we help others? Why don't we put some of this expertise?

Oh, here we go. Play the call. Great fucking show. The first one you got going on. And he's on a great fucking show. You just got it. Who's up, Stabby? Great fucking show.

Global UNLD got going on. Thanks, Pat. I'll try to make this under the 45-second mark for you. But I basically ordered some Uber Eats Taco Bell Delivery the other day, and I live in the back apartment of two duplexes. And the dude in the front duplex just fucking took my Taco Bell and had my name on it, fucking eat. And everything they just took it, it was on it. Fuckin' eatin'.

And everything they just took it, it was on St. Patrick's Day, and the dude was just passed out, fucking drunk with my crunch wrap. Pass me on his fucking chest. And I like cop knocked. I got half of my fucking food back, and it was cold as shit.

And they were drunk as shit, so I was trying to be nice. I was like, I was talking to you tomorrow, I'll just get my money back, whatever and he seemed cool about it and Keep knocking they're not answering me. I left my gun though with them. I tried being nice So like, you know, I make enough money if I like this is my last dollars or whatever, but you know, there's a $40 order. They Aid it left the rest out to be cold. so I'm wondering what you think I should do should I just drop it take the L or should I keep knocking should I fucking be a Karen should I put some cash shit on their door I don't know man let me know what's up I love you you're my favorite comedian wow this

man is fucking hurting bro You got finessed. What do you want it happens? Yeah, the guy guy your ass. There's nothing more to be done He and yes, you just you have to chalk it up and take the out like look we've all been we know it's crazy I know this this outrage. I know this feeling like remember that one time out this week We're high as shit and you forgot to hit send on the fucking Chinese food order you mother fucker. I'm still mad about it I don't we used to this was eldest's room before we'll be back in the day in that fucking in that very living room We were so high. We were so hungry and we're like where the fuck is this food? It was one of those where we thought We're like what's going on taking so long? Are you still friends? Yeah?

just food. It was one of those where we thought, we're like, what's going on taking so long? How are you still friends? Yeah, it was, yeah. It was like 45 minutes after I thought I would. And then, it was so. So then, and then he fucking, and the food thing, God came fast. We're like, we even ordered from a place that comes fast

because we were that hungry. And he just had not, it wasn't even the best place. Anyway, whatever. So I remember, I know that blind rage. I know the rage of that day, but usually once you eat something that rage subsides. You know, you're like, okay, that sucked, but what can I do? You got fucked here, but it's been days. You left your Venmo, you mother fucker. He got just, you got a fucking just you either take the L or you're like, hey, man

You want to get me some taco or if you really want to be a gentleman about this Maybe you could turn this into a fucking friendship and and now it's like, hey, man Why don't we get some Taco Bell together? You owe me some Taco Bell twist a join up It's not the worst thing in the world to be friends with your fucking neighbors that way They're not gonna steal your fucking Taco Bell. You're probably countryi usually. And they're like, yeah, fuck that guy. I'll take his Taco Bell. If your vibes were correct, that guy's not taking your Taco Bell.

That's all I'm saying. So maybe this is an opportunity to readjust the vibes, take the L, make him feel bad. By being like, hey, man, you wanna go get... Wanna get you some Taco Bell? But you gotta, you know, he absolutely finessed you and absolutely you are right to feel mad, but it's a matter of what do you do now?

I agree. I think you want to keep the piece with your neighbors and just chalk it up. But if you did want to carry it out, I think the alternate route is instead of carrying it out on them is hit up Uber Eats. It's be like your product and service is not quality. If why is it being left in the wrong hands? Like try to get some credit back from Uber Eats even if it's, look, if you get a $10 credit

into your account, like, that's something. You feel, it gives your mask, your masculinity back. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I love the pitch of like, hey, let's all go get talk of that. Absolutely. Turn, yes, but go all go get Taco Bell. Absolutely. Turn. Yes.

But go to Uber Eats because this is fucking part of it with any kind of big company. They have a part of their fucking budget that's for people fucking up. Don't take it out on the driver. Yeah. Don't rate this guy one. Like, that's another thing when someone's late

or whatever, you're like, I'm going to fucking give him one star. And then you eat. And then you have a bite of a sandwich. You're like, that would ruin that man's life. Why? Because I had to eat my sandwich 10 minutes later than I thought I would.

And you're like, all right, fucking, I'm good, right? So yeah, go to Uber Eats as long as it's not taken out on the thing, just be like, hey, I never got my order. Which technically is what happened. Technically, you never got your order. That night can never be made up to you. That night you saw. Imagine that, we're in a late night,

especially if nothing else is open at that point, and everyone's delivering, yeah. I feel for you, pal, but yeah, let's spin this into a positive, be like, hey, man, wanna go get some talk about it? And you know what? Don't even get, don't even fucking insist on him him paying just see if you might be able to just Be friends with your neighbors

That is some like millennial shit that we have that is like some boomer shit that actually they were right about Yeah, go knock on your fucking neighbors door with a piece of like cake or some shit become friends with them That's good. You want to look out for each other Communities important and in a weird way you could turn this into the upper hand of this relationship. Because if now you become friends with this guy, he'll always feel bad about the talk about that he stole from you.

That I love. I love that. A little something on the back end. But the universe fucked your ass. And what are you going to do? Take a nice bath with some Epsom salt. You'll be alright brother. This reminds me of one time I sold this record on eBay and the guy was being annoying and it had been like a week or two or something and he still didn't get it and I was like,

all right he's pissing me off like and I was like, okay I'm gonna refund him without him asking for it and I was like, if the record comes just send it. And the mail was just like bad. Anyway, he gets to sing delivered eventually. I try hitting him up, messaging him through eBay. I'm like, hey, okay, you can send me back the money now. And it's just like radio silence. And I just like, I looked at his name and address. I Googled him.

I found his Facebook. I found his fucking contract in company. I like DM his like contracting company on like Facebook and obviously he wasn't saying shit Of course, of course, you know if he wasn't like fuck this guy here's like what the fuck is wrong with this person? Of course and I was like I was just like fueled with rage I just like on the principle of the principle, the principle is all that it is. But I came to like a crossroads and I was like, how badly do I want to stock this straight here?

Because I want my $20 for the record, I sat in. So this guy should just, you know, how badly does he want to go to war over some talk as well? And you don't want this to corrupt your soul. Even the fact that you're thinking about going Karen mode on it is like, that's a problem, bro. You don't want to start the cycle of negativity because who knows? You end up, you know what I mean? Who knows where this ends? You only hurt yourself. I think of this quote that I heard on the soap opera I was watching when I think I was 10. Which was this woman who

was betrayed by a man and she's like, I'm gonna devote my life to making yours a living hell. And I wish I hadn't heard that. It's my formative years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think about that and I'm like, that's what we don't want to do. Of course.

Now I know, we don't want to devote our lives to hurting others because it only hurts us. It only hurts you. Yeah, you're, imagine all the, all the like, the possibilities of the guy you could be if you weren't plotting revenge. What you could be doing, what you could be doing with that time.

So, sorry dude, you got fucked, but you gotta move on and turn this into a positive if possible. If possible. If possible, or a neutral has to be, but I think it can become a positive What do we got next here LD Yo, what up, stop. What up, Elvis you beautiful Albanian motherfucker

Elvis if you screen this before podcasts maybe say this question for what up females on I'm honored his save this question for what females on uh... uh... wanted his question so i recently got told about how my ex-girlfriends mother had passed away from cancer recently you know that couple days and so i did a nice thing

i want to text her i did a hard-earned bad for everything i hadn't spoken to her and You know good two three years You know this is a college girlfriend. We gave it for like two years Maybe three. I don't yeah, I think just two But yeah, so I poured my heart out into this text like actually feeling bad for it because her mother was actually feeling bad for wow What a fucking good guy she blocked my number so then I came to the question of do I try to reach out to her on another platform

to be able to get a block and get me to say you know how bad I felt for and everything like that but I also kind of felt like that would be a selfish move. You don't say. You blocked me, it blocked my number. So it was like, oh, I don't think I should really do that. So I just want to know. Stand on his trouble. What you would do, giving that scenario. I would do. And then whatever your guests would do. So yeah, cheers.

Thank you. Oh, what I would do, yeah, I would make one of the most tragic moments in this woman's life about me. That's what I would fucking do. I would show up at the funeral. Like, what the fuck, bitch? It's been yew. What did I do to deserve this?

I was both so nice to you. Come on, man. Come on, man. The sad thing is that I would show up to the funeral with a choreographed dance, like a song. Yeah. As someone who has been blocked on social media,

phone numbers, bias specific ex. Yes. I feel you. Yes. And it is so demoralizing to try to contact someone who realize you are not able to. Oh my God. It's tricky, right?

Because even just as I hear this, by what, it's not tricky. It is not tricky. There's no trick involved here at all. It's cut and dry. It's so hard to this collar. I'm like, my body is tensing up. Like, I know, because what's coming up for me

is pure evil. It's like, I want. Yes, you're a lunatic for relating to him. I want to insert myself. This is where your mom not hugging you really, you take it out on the world. This is where a couple more fucking good job, besters, what a really helped a lot of people in your life.

Hahaha. Like, it would be so, yes, because it's just, this is your opportunity to reconnect. No, it's not! His real fucking mom died! That's the opportunity to let her get over a fucking mom died! I don't think he's even trying to reconnect with her though. I think he's saying, like, should he reach out on another platform to give his condolences, basically?

I don't know, dude. I don't think... Make a tick. That's what he's claiming. He's claiming is correct. Yes Of course, there's the pure evil part of all of us like that esterous that is the first giving voice to where we're like Maybe we could get back in here Maybe I can slide on in Remember with my most toxic ex. Maybe I can use this tragedy to my advantage And you do not want to be doing that.

But look, even if, because I've been, of course, we've all been blocked by an ex. If you haven't, you haven't had a good relationship, you know, if you hadn't, you never fucked anyone that good. You haven't been blocked by an ex. But, and that, if that were to happen to me, I would feel bad, you're right to feel bad, I'm not taking your feelings away from you,

because more than likely, this is just an outdated block, right? Like I feel like there's a relationship that, you know, I don't, that I have blocked, that I wouldn't mind if I talked to that person to restart them, but it's like, it's also a weird thing. It's like, when do you decide to unblock? You know what I mean? It's like, I do, you're not thinking about it. Exactly. You're not thinking of it. It just never happened. So more than like, I wouldn't take it personal, okay? But more importantly, this really is not about

you and in the future, if, if and when you see this person, give them a nice warm platonic condolence here with no ulterior motives whatsoever, and you're good to go. But you're not wrong to feel this way. Obviously, it's like a little, it is like a bit of a gut punch, because it's like even somebody

that you're not trying to get back with, you'd like to, there's definitely people that I'd be like, oh, I'd like to be friends with this girl. It's been enough time. She meant something, you know, we were important to each other. She, you know, I still love this person in certain ways. It's like something that doesn't really go away. But I'd like to just be like, hey, how you do, you know, have like a some kind of relationship and getting, it's like getting rejected milder when someone says, I don't want even that. You know what I mean?

This is a big, this is another big issue with my entire personality. It's my high school ex-boyfriend blocked me on everything and I'm like, we shared so much. Right. Like I would, I don't want you back. Right, right, right. I just would like to, you know. It'd be fun every once in a while. A little reminiscing.

Yeah, is that that crazy? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I drive by. In the back, you know, but in context, yes. In the context of your entire personality, yes. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.

Hahaha. So, yeah, I do think unfortunately the best move here is just bump into each other. Yeah, stop. If this was the answer, she would say find out her habits. Yeah. What coffee shop does she go to? Pretend you're there by accident. Yeah, exactly.

And then you get to give a little like, I'm sorry about your mom. Yeah. I'm so sorry. You look really great though. If you need anything, let me know. One of those. But yeah, sorry, but it happens, but yes, just take a minor L on this one. It's not about you. It's a fucking atrocious.

Like, when you wanted somebody to fucking, whencious. Like, like, would you wanted somebody to fucking, when your mom passed all this, would you have wanted some bitch you, but you didn't want in your life anymore to text you? No, definitely not. So I could have wanted the crazy extra block for you, after a firestorm break up. So come out of the woodwork after your bomb dies.

Yeah, you also don't necessarily want to be thinking about the best head you've ever had during a funeral. You know, you want all that gone. So that's our advice, pal. We're rooting for you. You sound like a good kid who's just got his feelings hurt a little bit. Hey, Stovey.

How you doing, man? How's we going to do it? So, what is season? 21. I'm probably getting into dating. I didn't really date in high school. I was cooking up with one of my friends all the time, so I didn't see the need.

And so after I graduated, I'm pretty submissive. So the past few years, I've just been on like, thatish dating sites and meeting older women who are into BDSM and the taxes raised and they have literally no standards. I don't have to do anything. They don't want a relationship with me. I'm 20.

But now I want a real relationship. So I'm like super jealous of my roommate and this girl. I'm never very adorable. Oh boy. So, but I feel like I wouldn't even know how my roommate in this girl friend. They're adorable. Oh boy. So, but I feel like I wouldn't even know how to get into a real relationship. I've never had somebody out on that ever kind of date. I've never done anything romantic in my entire life.

I feel like I miss a boat on basic relationship rules that everybody learned in my high school or early college. How do I go from having dominatrixes to an absolute girlfriend? Yeah, I love this guy. I know. I know. This is so cute. Like, even though his man has been like fucking abused

by 48-year-olds, this man is adorable. And also a very emotional in-sell here. This is a fascinating call. And the self-awareness is great. Really beautiful self-awareness and doesn't have hangups on actual sex, got pussy in high school, even those with a friend. I mean, I would have killed for one of those friends in high school. And then has found a little niche. That's going to show you, there's so many ways to not be an insult. This guy figured out Spanish dating sites, getting fucking pegged by a Dominican woman, figuring, yeah,

just a lady on a work in a double, and a fucking diner comes home to just pinch this guy's nipples and kick him out Yeah, I think that there's such a sweetness to this message in his self-awareness that I'm like you're totally the fact that you know You want a girlfriend like and you're aware that it's gonna be hard for you to me seems like you're a hundred percent Eligible and capable You're getting a girlfriend Like he sounds pretty great. Yes.

And I think that knowing you want it, like basically I think once you want something just figure out how to do it. I don't know exactly. He's halfway there. Knowing what you want is half the battle. And it's interesting because a lot of got, you're already in a great position because a lot of guys in your position have these emotional hangups and then when it comes to sex, it's even worse, right?

Like, I remember being nervous, you know, I remember being nervous in high school just like ask a girl out and I could do that, but then I couldn't make a move because the more nerve wracking part is when you have have no experience with sex at all. So you've kind of in a weird way thanks mostly to the saint friend that sucked you off after biology. You are lucky to not have the bigger end of the hang-ups, but it is a very interesting case study and there's still our emotional hang-ups and there's still you know You can still get nervous just to ask someone out and all this other stuff. So I

Mean, you know, you're talking about planning dates Doing something romantic all this kind of stuff miss the boat on basic relationship rules. You're 20, dude You're fine. Yeah, so many so many people don't understand this stuff at your age And so this is when you should be figuring it out, right? So many people don't understand this stuff at your age. And so this is when you should be figuring it out, right? This is kind of when this all shakes out. You also don't need to plan dates. It's like you could just go on dating apps

and get coffee with women or maybe people you meet in real life. I would almost say just try to become friends with some women because you're not gonna be the kind of guy that a woman goes on a date with and can tell that he's just desperate for sex because you've already had those men in a different way. And so I think like you're in a really good position to get to know some women slowly and like really build up some excitement that way. I don't know, that's always been my thing like, because when I was in high school, I had a crush on this guy and I told a mutual friend to tell him

that I liked him and then nothing happened. And so I was like, oh, he's not into me. And then I finally met the guy. I was like, I already know he's not into me. So I'm just going to like be his friend, turned out the guy never I already know he's not into me, so I'm just gonna be his friend, turned out the guy never told him, and then we entered dating, and now- Wow, you gotta get one of the fuck you? Maybe. Had to be.

Had to be. Yeah. Good call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just doing the math, but yeah, yeah, flatter yourself, that's fine. But like from that, and I know it's different, I'm a girl, whatever, and this was high school,

but that's always been my thing. It's like be friends with people, and I know it's different. I'm a girl, whatever, and this was high school. But it's like, that's always been my thing. It's like, be friends with people, and then see where that goes. Well, especially for this guy, because you're talking about planning a date, you've never done anything romantic. It's not like every woman, the date for every woman, and every romantic gesture is the same.

There's no cookie cutter way to do that. No. It's from getting to know this person. And yeah, start. And that like planned out dates is like an ik. It's like getting to know this person. And yeah, it's not like planned out dates. It's like an Ick. It's like, we know it's like, let's just keep the casual. Well, but that's what it like, it doesn't feel a planned date. Isn't doesn't feel that way because what it is is you meet someone, you talk. Yeah. She's like, I love sushi. You're like, Hey, there's a sushi place by me that I've

been meaning to try. It's like kind of organic. So you're thinking of all this stuff as if it's things you have to come with prepared, but no, it starts with a conversation, starts with friendship, or especially because what you're trying to do is get your emotional needs met. Yeah, see if you could just be friends with someone, you know, that's part of it. It's like you're gonna get rejected here some, that's just a part of dating,

and it's just keep it casual, little coffee a drink whatever little you know at your 20 I don't know if you're in college or what I don't know if you said but getting a drink you know having a little picnic and having to be your outside just like getting to know someone and then the more you learn about them the more you like them the more it's like hey oh you like this kind of thing or you like this kind of movie. Let's go see this movie. Like, that stuff happens organically.

And that's what you got to do. You got to take it step by step, start from the, you know, the most basic kind of friendship level or dating app. And if it's a dating app thing, go get a coffee, get a fucking dessert, split a bread pudding, you know what I mean? Do something nice. And then you'll get to learn these people over time. I will say I'm curious why the high school friends with them, like why did that never turn into more? That's a little... That is very interesting.

To me, what's the deal there? Please DM me. Yeah, yeah, let us know. Actually, yeah, could you give us some context on that? I would love to know. Oh fuck, I'll call them later. Yeah, could you give us some context on that? I would love to know. Oh fuck, I'll call him later. Yeah, that always happens with these. It's always like you want to know a little more. We got to get on live calls all this. We got to figure that out.

But yeah, step by step, don't overdo it. Don't feel like you have to have everything figured out and just slowly over time get to know someone. And the more you're going into it with like actual nice, you know, intentions, I think that's gonna only help you. Because most people on dating apps just trying to get their dick sucked. So the fact that you're actually relating

to a woman as a human being, I think will be a big plus for you on those. And look, if none of that's working, no reason you can't hop back on that BDSM website get get beaten like a piñata by a Bolivian woman until you come and then take a different girl out to see a nice little romcom or something after that after you've been drained let's get another one going, LD. I'm a young woman.

To say it outright, I'm very flat. I don't have a very large asses. This is not really my build. I'm kind of tall and thin. So what I'm... I had... I mean, I have a lot of women in my life and my girls grow. I don't really have one of my dad's questions. Okay. So I was thinking I would like to get a blue job. Yes, next question. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, huge, huge humongous. Yes, okay, next question.

That's right. This is too good, okay. The investment that I would likely pay for, and would benefit me zero outside of my own satisfaction, I think. And every time I bring myself to the women in my life, they are like, oh no, you're so beautiful already. You don't need it. But I want huge tips.

Like, don't understand. Screams. No. And just being a brown to be your huge tips, like, it's just like, it makes your day really light on you up. And I want to be that for people. I want to bring joy with my huge tits.

So do you think I should save her a blue jump as well as like, then for a car right now? Really the car. I'm young, but try. Take the bus. You get those tits, you'll begin rides across town, no problem. Okay, let's talk about this really, I guess. Let's not just blank it, tell it or get a tits job. Let's actually look at it. There's two examples that come to mind for me, right?

There's Kaylee Cuoco, who I think irresponsibly, but honestly, announced to the world that getting a boob job was the best thing for her career. Oh, she got fake titties. She got fake boops. She was an out-of-work actress, got her breast and plants, and then it immediately was cast on Big Bang Theory. That's a really good show.

No. There's that side of it. and on Big Bang Theory. That's a really good show. No. There's that side of it. Then on the other end. It really happened like that. Yes. That's so funny. On the other end of it, you have Paris Hilton, who wanted a boob job, but then said, no, fake boob's

are cheap and trashy. And then she kind of redefined the standard of beauty for a moment as to being like, which is also not that good being like tall thing, whatever. But I, but yeah, like both I think are really solid choices. You know, there's I yeah. Well, yeah, I think there's the pop culture angle. No, no, but there's something to that too about like, look, I wouldn't, I can't sit here and tell you that like you have to conform to the exact standards of beauty.

My whole, I mean, look, I'm a guy obviously, but it's like though a lot of philosophical I believe you just have to be the hottest version of yourself. And definitely there's girls like you don't have to have huge tits to be hot in any way. But that doesn't seem like the issue here. I don't think she, she doesn't, she's not saying she's girls, you don't have to have huge tits to be hot in any way, but that doesn't seem like the issue here. I don't think she doesn't, she's not saying she's ugly, right? She never says, she's saying she wants big titties. Because obviously there's girls without big tits that are hot and you can be the hottest version of yourself, you can be a certain archetype.

You know, flat is not in no big deal. You know, I don't know what one of those butt cheeks look like. That's important. She says she's tall, right? Like she's that kind of style. Like a tall thing. That's definitely a traditional type of hot girl. And look, this really comes down to like, yeah, what do you want? I also think that like, surgery is not just saving money and you get it. It's not without complications. It's like my podcast, my trash Tuesday, co-host Kaleila, she got fakedits,

and then they made her sick, and she had to take them out. I have another few girlfriends who've had to take them out. Like, it can cause complications. It's like not that simple and easy. It's also expensive. Like I get it. I wanted fake tits for a long time

when I was little. Like I prayed for boobs. Like I, and those group chats trying to get trying to get someone to fund your tits job. I get it. Like, but I think there's a lot more to it. And if it were me, I would commit to trying to make myself feel my hottest

without the boob job first. And like see how that goes. Like give myself six months of being like, I'm gonna, you know, do this skincare, like something nonsurgical. Like get some like a pushup bra that's gonna make me feel good. Like just try that first

before you commit to cutting your body open and putting fake objects in. That's not always the best solution. Sure, on the other hand, modern science is making advancements every day. And... No, but yes, I think that's absolutely the correct thing. It's like, look, you control the way you want to look.

And I think like, there's no real analog for guys, but if there is a big dick surgery, I'm getting it right now. The reason I would be nude, I'm basically nude all the time on the internet. If I had a big penis, I would be fully nude constantly. It would help my self-esteem. I would feel better about myself. I don't,'t I fuck it's not even like a sexual thing I it's literally an aesthetic thing where I'd be like did if I had a nice haul right now They just looked cool and not even about fucking cuz fucking's not the issue. So I fully sympathize here

but Estus right in that really think about it right like not only the financial thing, but yeah, surgery is fucking scary no matter what. And think like, do I really want this thing? Like, if the answer's yes, then you know, it's your body, you should look how you want to look. I do think probably, but it's important not to only think about the best case scenario, because it could be best case scenario.

No complications, they look great, your life's better, but there's flip sides, it might be fucked up, it might cost you a lot of money, so that's really it. I think it's okay if the benefit is nothing outside of your own satisfaction, because you have to live in your body every day

and you have to feel good about it, but- But also that's not true, that it wouldn't benefit you. Yeah, there's so many other benefits. There's so many cool, but and you'd be doing a service to the world. There should be a tax credit for everyone who gets big tits.

And that's what I'm running on, 2024. Free healthcare, if you get breast implants. I am not opposed to that. So you're not that preferred women. So yeah, but absolutely think about it more than just tits are awesome. I would like big ass tits. Which you're not wrong, but think about the actual ways

they would affect you. And yeah, I think that's a good goal. Give it six months of life. Yeah. Are there other non-surgical ways, you know, less expensive non-surgical ways? And in the meantime, maybe you can get yourself a little fucking Hyundai Sonata. So you'll have the car too. But those are things that took a lot of, took a lot out of me, not to just say yes. We're rooting for you either way. Sound off in the comments.

Sound off in the comments, yeah. All right. And I mean my girl we just got a place we've been talking about getting married for a while and My my whole reason why I've been old and off on it is we wanted to get our own place before I popped the question Cool like I said she's been hidden for a while that she That she wants to get married Been sending me pictures to bring on Facebook whatever now my big question is the ring that she sent me that she really wants is I $8.85 bucks max what now I'm a cheap motherfucker don't give me wrong but I feel like she

deserves more than an eighty five dollars five dollars but also if I go I'll spend three four grand on a range it's gonna kick my ass because it's that much of a ring so do I go with the key ring or do I go with the expensive ring y'all let me know what the the fuck, she wants, she wants a cheap ring. For real, this isn't like some kind of trick. Right, I'm trying to, like what? Crunch the numbers here. It could be the kind of thing where she's a hyper,

like, pragmatic person. And they don't have, they just got their own place, they don't have that much money. For her, it's more about the commitment than the actual like thing. So, I don't know what's, first of all, I'd ask her friends, I'd ask around a little bit here. Absolutely.

I would go to them before you went to a podcast host. But, just kind of pull them a little bit. And look, if that's her thinking, if she's like, if you know, this is the kind of thing that she wants, and you really can confirm that, then get it, and maybe if you get more successful a little later on in life,

you could always replace it with an actually nice ring. But if it's the kind of thing that she's not gonna actually like, and you're just doing it so people don't think you're cheap, then that's the wrong thinking. This is ultimately what she wants, right? So you have to honor it. It just feels a little $85.

What the fuck is that? Costume jewelry costs more than you have that. Yeah, that is surprising. I am also thinking like, can she is sending you the link? So there is some sort of communication open here. So maybe just ask, you are like, hey, is that really? That's a good point, yeah.

But I also think bringing up, asking the friends is good too. That's just like the shaker, like more security way to go about it. But I think that's cool. I think spending a ton of money on an engagement ring is absurd. Like if I think $85 is enough, if it's cute and it's what you like and it's really just like you said,

like it's just about the commitment and the meaning. I don't know, yeah, like I lose things all the time in much rather, not scared of losing something expensive. I don't know. Or there's even like, you know, there's some kind of middle ground here of like, it's funny how like lab-grown diamonds are so much cheaper and nicer.

But for some reason, people want the fucking ones that, it's like, you want Veal instead of regular beef, you want suffering in your diamonds. Yes. So it's like, you could get a lab-grown one that's much cheaper and looks awesome. I don't know, but yeah, that's a great point. She's already sending links.

It seems like you guys have good communication. One way or another, you should, if you don't want to ask her directly, or you could be like, hey, I'm not saying it's happening now, but is 80, are you serious about this? $85 ring, that's kind of wild. I was thinking more of this. So that's, you know, if you know the situation better than we do, but either friends or her, I would broach the subject and figure it out. And then... I'm just so relieved because I thought he was gonna be like, we just moved in and she's been asking me at Mary

and then I thought I was gonna be like, I don't want it. I'm actually thinking about fucking the girl my job. Like I 100% thought that's where this was gonna go. So like, all this good. This is a much better question than I thought we were gonna get. What kind of, you said you got engaged? What kind of ring?

Yes. I have a family ring, which is was free, which is my favorite. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't put a high priority on that, but I know people do. Yeah. That's just coming from a place of insecurity anyway.

Yeah. So I think this guy is in a good position. No, I fully agree. I do find the whole, especially when you don't have money to begin with, like getting that like $20,000 ring when it's like you don't have anything else going on seems like so fucking crazy. Or like the what's the rule three months salary? Oh yeah, even that is so weird to me. Yeah, just fake rings are great. Yeah, a little cubic sirconeum. Yeah, yeah, a little cubic zirconium. Yeah, one of my best friends just got married

and she got her husband, us, just a silicone rubber band ring. She's like, he's gonna lose it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents lose more. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, I think you're good. I think you're good there, buddy. But we'll see.

We'll see. We'll see how it works out for you. How long will we be doing here, Eldis? We're at an hour and a half. Ooh, nice. You have time for a couple more. Yeah, of course, yeah. Let's do a couple more.

Hello, Scott. As an international man of mystery and mischief, I have a question for you. My wife and I have two kids, about six and seven, and my wife and my kids are dual citizens with Italy. They've only visited, they got it through the matrilineal line where you sort of like Sue and Italy pay a lot of money and wind up getting citizenship, reinstated retroactively. But this means that I could get citizenship as the dad and the spouse. And we could move to Italy, but we could only really afford to move

in some country-ass village type of place in Italy, which I've... You know, it's been some time there, it's beautiful, I would love it, but my concern is taking kids from New York City to nowhere rural Italy. What's that going to do to them? And my question for you is, you're sharing the Dan Lake out in the countryside in Greece, which is probably not a lot different than that in the countryside in Italy. What's that like? I'm sure you got some like cousins or something like that

that are all messed out. Greek style, I'd like to hear about the Mediterranean mess head way of life. Thank you. Love the pod. Bye. Interesting, interesting. Well, first of all, some of this is adding up.

He's like, you can only afford to live in rural Italy, but you're afford to live in New York City. Yeah. The fuck are you talking about, dude? It sounds like you can't, you're gonna have to move either way, if you can't. Maybe they don't have jobs and shit, they're thinking about income,

once they move there, that kind of thing. And who the fuck moves somewhere, you can't get a job. I don't know, maybe. What's your gonna retire and fucking rural Italy at whatever age he is? So this is a weird question. I would assume his wife can at least get a job.

He should be able to get a job. I do have dual citizenship, but I had to put it on pause because I got drafted into the Greek army. Why? Yeah. We won. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They sent a letter to my, we have like a family house in Athens and my cousin, my uncle called us and he was like, hey, you got some news for you Stop got trapped in the army and we were all laughing this. I mean, I'm not going I'm just that's sort of similar Jason is that I'm still a resident of Illinois and so I keep deferring jury duty The last like 30 years basically and like it's sort of certain point. I'm in trouble Yeah, but that's crazy because I recently learned that my dad

was like spent the entire like first 10 years of his, or five years of being like an adult dodging the Vietnam draft. Can I do it? Yeah. Like that fucks with people. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, for me it's like I just can't,

I just told them I was like, look, I'm a Greek citizen, but I grew up in America. I live my life is here and they're like okay but if you stay if you visit Greece for more than three months in a year we will arrest you and take you to the army. So until I age out which is like I don't know in my four days or something I have to I can only be in Greece for like two months tops which is fine I'm mean I'm not total or per year per year. Per year, per year. So they just wanna make sure that you're not actually lying about living in Greece. And my mom, the first time I went she was so worried,

she was like, take the paper with you. She was like, really, my, you think they really, they're really fucking dying to have me in the army? Is there any, is there any part of you that's like, should I do it? Yeah, so I got drafted when I was 20. So it was the kind of thing where I was like, should I just go to Greece?

Like it would be kind of interesting, it would be kind of fun. You, I don't think you go for that long, I think, especially since I was four, you know, four and born, maybe I could have been gone, it would have been a year or something like that. But my cousin was there for like a couple, I think you go, I don't know what the terms are anymore.

It used to be like fucking three years. My dad went, everyone has to go to the Army in Greece because there's so few people that if a war happens, every man is trained to be in the Army. That's the idea. Like the old draft. So every, all my male relatives have all been in the Army in Greece.

And part of me was like, that would be kind of, because like my life wasn't, I didn't like college. It was like, I was in this weird period where I did stand up when I was, I started standing when I was 19. And I did it for a year and then all that like immigrant guilt kicked in. And I quit and I like focused on school. So I hated it, right? Because I was like, I want, I knew I wanted to do comedy,

but part of me was like, no, no, I need to really give school a chance. So I was depressed. I didn't like what I was doing. I was getting fat as hell. Because I was like, that was, I've had multiple times where I got the fatdest, you know, I've been,

that was the first time I got really fucking fat. I was just so depressed and I was like, maybe I should just change my life. Go to Greece. I was just so depressed and I was like, maybe I should just change my life. Go to Greece. I was thinking about studying abroad and then I got that and I was like, well, like literally couldn't are they to rest me. But yeah, part of me was like, fuck it. Let me just go. Who gives a fuck? I always curious about that. Like, what would it be like to go to prison for two months? Like what I get hot and tough. Probably not, but. Yeah, probably not.

You might make friends, like it's not, I don't think it's like as like crazy as people think, like I think ultimately it still is like no one's just going to immediately fuck you up for whatever, unless you did some kind of crazy crime. Right. Like the kind of jail you would go to, you'd probably be fine. Okay, cool thing to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think you'd be like a gang leader or anything like that.

And now back to our friend's question here. I mean, Greece was nice, but I like, you know, I always went on fucking vacation, so I couldn't tell you. I can tell you that a generation, because the, I think Italy doesn't have the best economy either, but it's like no one who's young has a job. Everyone's just kind of hanging out. It's a fun life. They're all get coffee and just chilling for hours on end,

but don't fucking go to Italy, make it like I don't. We don't think so. I don't think so. I mean, and I love Greece, obviously. But I would never live there. My dream is to be successful enough where I can take the summer so off that I live in Greece about three months out of the year.

Like, that's my dream is like a, when I'm fully established and like. Why wouldn't you wanna live there though? Like, because don't you, I, to me when I hear this, I'm like, wait, yeah. A way out of this like consumer capitalism, like rat race that we're all living in, where the food is poisoned. Yeah, yeah.

There's definitely positives, right? Right. But I also think you can get that a little bit more if you don't like, first of all, having kids in New York seems fucking crazy to me. Like in Manhattan, I don't think children should be allowed in Manhattan.

I'm waiting, that's great rule. I don't think cars or children should be allowed in Manhattan. It should be adults on bikes, getting fucked up, having a good time doing drugs. They can go in to see the museums and they have to leave by sundown. Yeah. That's what I think the rules are.

All children must be indoors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There can be a couple designated areas for emergencies. But, and I know what you're saying, but it's not like you're free of that stuff in Greece or Italy, for example. Like, it just feels like it's, honestly, it feels like it's 20 years behind.

Like, I remember when I went to Greece like five years ago, people were like, is that an iPhone? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, literally. They're like, whoa, can we see it? And still in Greece, I mean, people have flip, like half of the people stuff, flip phones and shit. It's like this weird mix.

You can't really get Wi-Fi everywhere. And especially if you went to a little bit more of a rural place than yes, there's certainly some positives to just a simpler way of life. Like, yeah, you're not hyper bombarded with like all the advertisement and all the shit that we're talking about here. Right, you get those dopamine baseline levels down.

Yeah, they actually play outdoors. They have a real actual social life where it's like my cousin to this day like walks to his friend's house and like just might not even call him sometime or just calls him, they're not always online, you're not texting. They don't care that much about it.

Like they don't really that much about it. They don't really know how to use Instagram. You know what I mean? No, but like adult men will post like, face-to-nd selfies. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Like, it is a simple, you're right about that. It is a simpler life in that work.

I guess I'm thinking of it in terms of opera. I guess I'm thinking about myself. If my parents, because my dad always talks about, because honestly until I was like, until I was what? 14, he threatened, he was gonna move to Greek, we're gonna move to Greece every summer. So I would like say goodbye to my friends. At the end of the school year, and I would be like, all right guys, this is probably gonna be it. Then every year I would just be at school. And so I'm thinking about my life in Greece, and it's like, I mean, I don't know, it would suck, right? And you're saying.

But then again, the future is not necessarily the same. Like part of that is because people our age in Greece are fucked because of the financial crisis, and so they don't just have jobs and shit, but it's not like America's looking that good for the future, but I just think about education, like opportunity, but then again, it's like, if you have all that stuff, are you happy, right?

Like at the end of the day, the odds are, those kids might grow up happier, even if they don't have a good enough job, but what is it, it is a good job here? Also, then they can come back to America and then be like these exotic true people who grew up in Italy. True, true, true, true.

People will be very into that. That is true. But I also think you're the adult, and maybe this is just because I'm a person with no kids, but do what's best for you. Like, don't give them life first, do a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. okay, but like, do what's best for you? Like, do what you like first, do the little things? You?

Leave it, it's still your life. You're alive. That's interesting. Maybe, yeah, that was your parents, that's how your parents approach you. Sorry, that's how that's my fault, that's my fault, that's how my kids don't matter. So yeah, I mean, I can tell you,

I would rather have grown up here all things considered, but that's also hard to say. What would you want to change if you're happy with yourself? I guess you have to make the decision of what do you want a simpler, almost old-fashioned quality of life for them, and then they could always make the decision to move back to America. It's not like they're never gonna come, right? Like you probably have family here that will probably be back and forth. So it might be kind of interesting, but ultimately yes, I do think it's like the right financial

move. Like where, what makes sense for you? Can you get a job there? I don't, I still don't understand how the New York City to rural Italy thing, how that's, how you can't afford to live somewhere better in Italy if you're living in New York right now, but maybe a rent control department who fucking knows. But yeah, I would say do the fucking easiest financial thing. Ultimately, at the end of the day, you just want to provide a better thing for your family.

Now is your wife really pushing for this? What are the other pros? Because if you don't have a great opportunity, if there's no financial incentive, like I think I still believe like Italy and it's good for that to be a part of their lives. Like Greece, I have a connection to it. It always mattered to me.

I like visiting, but I don't know that it's the best place for them to grow up, unless you have some kind of sweetheart deal in Italy, which it doesn't sound like you do. Yeah, also I feel like when you are approaching a possibility of like making a big life change or taking a big swing, it's like, you really only wanna do that if you know you want to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, I can't not do it. Right. If you're questioning it, then you're gonna get there and be like, what? Or if it's even like a lateral move and you just shifted everything in your life for something that's just kind of similar, that shit kind of sucks.

But I don't know, do you have support from her family or do you have places to fuckin' work or you just go in because you have like a little fantasy of the countryside and drinkin' fuckin' fresh wine and fuckin' being on the beach and shit like that, because that shit ends quick. Like that's, you don't get the vacation,

you should know that, you just have to actually live there. So, hopefully that helped. I'll just do you have a nice banger for us to go out on, pal. Do you want a banger or softwaugle one this time? It's something to want, you know how it goes, eldest, I put it in your lap and we see if you fail or you succeed. You're on a hot streak. You've done really well.

The last three times I've done this to you. So let's see. It just has to be good. I will give you no further instruction other than that. All right. I'm going to go with your gut, Eld. It's Bobby Babies, Dan, down in Florida. Hey, so I recently got a job where I'm gonna be traveling a lot and I know working in comedy. You travel a lot as well. Probably eat a lot of restaurants too. I'm a big food guy myself.

I've just seen if you've got any general tips for traveling for a living and some good things to take people to like a business lunch for like what kind of cuisine is really good for that. Funny as hell love to show. I would say if you want to do if you want to follow my example for the first half of the time that you're traveling you should eat whatever you want and get really fucked up all the time and try and fuck as many strangers as possible. And then have a sobering moment where your body aches and so does your soul. And you're like, what am I doing?

I'm a grown man with no family. My brothers are both married. This is my life. This is my life. I'm eating edibles with a 24 year old off Instagram. Why? Why? And I'm having fucking burger king for breakfast, you know, I'm, I'm racking up a $80 room service, breakfasts.

So that's if you want to live the Stavvy baby lifestyle. That's the first half of the tour and the second half, you try and be healthy for it. But I mean, I don't know, man, I traveling. I think if you're looking to take people to fun business lunches, I wouldn't focus on which cuisine is good for that. I would just like get into hyper focused research mode of finding what are the coolest best restaurants in the area and take people to that. Like whenever I'm taking I don't know business dinner and someone's like, this is the hottest reservation in town the area and take people to that. Like whenever I'm taking, I don't know, business dinner

and someone's like, this is the hottest reservation in town. That's what gets me off. That's true. Oh, this person is cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They care, they want to impress me, like that feels good. And I definitely have traveled and done the road and like, dem it both stays the same.

Or you're like, I'm only hurting myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and yeah I think if you can sort of Recognize that that's a mistake a lot of people make and you might not want to make it and like find the little ways that are gonna Feel good. Yeah, like what do you do now when you're trying to like actually respect yourself? So that's so yes, I think I think it's like when you decide, one thing if you're new to traveling is realizing, like at the end of the day, this is my job.

It's not a vacation. Because that's a big problem that I think a lot of comedians go through when they first get on tour. It's like this rules, I'm fucking in a city, I've never been to people giving me free drugs. I can drink as much as I want at this club, but realize it's your job.

It is your job, and you're probably gonna be a little less healthy than you are at home, but still try and be as healthy as possible. When I'm trying to respect myself, it's like, okay, I'm having salads. I'm having a breakfast that's a couple eggs, some chicken or turkey sausage, and if I can get a little side salad, great. And like, and then I'll have a salad,

like I'll go to like a healthy, just like a healthy, like the restaurants that exist for people that are like working in a city, like a fucking, you know, like a fast casual, like the Chipotle health clones, they're like Chipotle salad places. Like I, like I was in Minneapolis and I went to one restaurant. I was like, I have to try one cool thing from here

and I went to the best Vietnamese place that everybody recommended. And that was fucking awesome, but pre-show, I ate at this fucking place called Freshenco or Crispin Green or some shit like that. It was just some salad place and it was fine I ate their three tight there every night before the shows and I and where you where I really fucked myself is staying in a hotel that had a little snack thing

Oh, yeah, that's always I was like good. I have healthy snacks I have everything and then you go to the hotel and you see like a little fucking and it's like an exotic candy that you don't know about and you're like well I have to try it. What is a nut good? I want to see. I struggle with that too. When I go on the road with my friends it's like let's get as high as possible. I see all the snacks but I've noticed that when I do that, then I'm not caring about the work as much. A hundred percent. And as my high school theater teacher, Mr. Ortement, told me the fun comes from the work.

And so I'm trying to get more into that space. Again, I'm just projecting here. This is all my issues. That's an oortment. Yes, Tim Ortement, a thing for making me the man I am today. And I would also say that like one thing that for myself that I wanna do when I go on the road is, I wanna like get into a new show

and be really excited about getting back to the room and like watching a show is opposed to like some of the not-ear behavior. No, that's smart. Yes, something that grounds you to the hotel room. Yeah. You're like, I just wanna get back. I wanna like, that's the hard part about comedy

that you don't have to worry about is that the day ends at 1 a.m. for us. Like that's when you can actually relax and you're jazzed. So it's hard not to go out and fucking drink and shit. But if you're just like, you know, if you're doing a regular schedule, you're talking about a business lunch, I love the idea of finding out the cool place.

But I also think if you're talking about like, you know, do a little research finding out the cool place, but I also think if you're talking about, like, you know, do a little research, do the cool place, but also realistically, you can't go wrong with a corporate steakhouse for business lunch. A Del Frisco's, like, just something. Take me to a yard house. Yeah, yes, yes. You want some kind of cool, like if you can't get to the,

like, oh, I checked this place out, it was awesome. I'm letting you in on a little secret. Just go to like the higher end corporate chains. Like, like steak is the probably the most fucking foolproof because even if somebody's eating healthy, they usually have like a nice salad. But if they just, if you just want to flex that card, you know what I mean, spend a little ribeye,

you'll be good to go. So definitely get into like, definitely get into research mode, ask around, ask regular ass motherfuckers and see. And then look, don't just take the word for it, triangulate that with some fucking online research, get a name, see what the fuck, see what online is saying. But if enough real people say it, like some of the best Chinese restaurants I've had eight at have like a 3.5 stars on Yelp, you know, because it's like, that's another thing Kuala Lumpur taught me is that like the 3.5 is the best

rating for Chinese restaurants because that means like, the it's low enough where like the service was bad, which is a good. Yeah, I took my mom to get dumplings in Chinatown in Manhattan. They were in best Chinese food she's ever had, but she hated it because she was a waitress for so long. And she was like, you do not let it be people like that. They were just like so rude in Chinese. They were just like, just throwing you know how to,

they just throw your dumplings like, okay, what do you want? Like that fucking fast and my mom could not handle it. I like get off on that. I'm like, you, what do you want? Like that fucking fast, and my mom could not handle it. I like get off on that, I'm like, you're treating me like shit. I'm nothing, I'm hungry, nothing. I'm hungry, nothing. So good luck, buddy. That's, I think that's gonna do it for us, though.

I would say that was solid. Wasn't your best work, but you didn't fail either. You gotta go with your guy. You gotta go with your guy. Estar anything you wanna plug guy. S are anything you want to plug to the people. Anything you want them to find you. Well, I would love for you to come guess on Trash Tuesday. Absolutely. Any time, yep, that's fine.

That's fine. And yeah, I'm just a, I'm on tour and I'm doing shows in New York this summer. Oh, yeah. That's all. Go see Esther. Come see us on tour, me and I'll do stavvy.biz, the Fat Rascal Tour is selling out, baby. We've probably already announced the second leg by now. Fuck, I gotta be better at this.

So, but that's gonna do it for us guys. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time. Bye bye. We'll see you next time. Bye bye. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious,

get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me,

and whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stop by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.