Stavvy's World - Marie Faustin & Matteo Lane

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

Marie Faustin and Matteo Lane join Stavvy's World to discuss getting flown out, biggest X-Men crushes, terms that sound racist, the bear community, and much more. Marie, Matteo and Stav put their head...s together to help callers including a woman who wants to meet hot guys in Arkansas and a man who needs advice on fixing his jacked-up teeth.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods
Starting point is 00:00:27 and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family
Starting point is 00:00:48 Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb There it is folks Oh Welcome to another episode of Stavis world So happy to have my friends here. Mateo, Marie. We're going to get to all your fucking questions. We're going to solve your life's problems.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Call 9-0-4-800-STav. But first, I'm going to chop it up with my guys here. We're going to fucking catch up. It's going to see both of you. It's got to start. That's right. Good to see both of you. Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Marie, I do like that we talked about it before you are wearing the Spinelli Cosplay with the orange hat. I don't know. People say, I'm kind of mean. You are a little honest. You are mean. I don't feel that.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Yeah, you are. You are one of the rudest people I've ever met in my life. That is true. Some say rules, some say honest. You know? They go hand in hand. That's exactly what I think those are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:42 I am just a good Christian gal. No. When's the last time you went to church? No. I think those are not. I am just a good Christian gown. When's the last time you went to church? No. I played one of the three wise men once then. Did you? What? You know I forgot the line, but I stole that show.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Which one, Murr, Franken sense? I'ma say Franken sense, because that's the one that sounds sexy. That does sound good. I mean, Murr sounds good, Murr. Murr sounds good, like, purr. Yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah, so thank you guys for coming all the way out to Queens.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Oh my God. Despite your protestations, you made it here finally. And yeah, I'm happy to have you guys in the stew. How's it going? I haven't seen you mother fuckers forever. Okay, so now who did the wall? Who painted this? My sister-in-law.
Starting point is 00:02:19 You see the great job. Did you do the Greek diners? No, but we literally looked at Google image search, Greek restaurant wall, to, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job, great job. Great job, great job. Great job, great job, great job. Yeah Come on, we don't spare any fucking expenses around here on Stavis world We wanted you to feel like you're in a Greek this is if you're if your therapist was a vulgar comedian that works at a Greek restaurant That's that's the vibe here, so okay, but you know, what's up with you guys? Let's fix your problems before we get into everybody else. How's it going? I haven't seen you guys in forever We see each other all the time
Starting point is 00:03:02 Pandemic happens and then yeah. I mean, you busy. You travel in the world. You you banging girls and I don't know states that I can't spell. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where were we last? Can you spell Colorado?
Starting point is 00:03:13 Colorado. Colorado. Colorado. Try it. Try it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, shit's going good.
Starting point is 00:03:23 But yeah, what's up with you, Mufur? How's it going? You're traveling all over the place? I think we're following each other Every was like stop was here last week like we got the foot. Yeah, we do have we do have the same career Same career. Yeah same audience same body We should do an only fans open up an only fans of just us to and release those pictures. We really should Come on, We really should.
Starting point is 00:03:45 So, just. I will say, and I don't look. This is not, this is kind of like, I can't take, you know, this is like the guy who signed Motown singers claiming like that he made the sound of Motown happen. I was the first guy that got you naked on the internet. I was the first man to get you naked on the internet. You weren't because of the reason. Well, your text don't internet. I was the first man to get you naked on the internet. You weren't because the reason. Well, your text don't count.
Starting point is 00:04:07 I was. Yeah. Yeah. Your iMessage just that. Exempt that. Exempt your iMessage to. I'm not letting the girl in. Yeah, I'm just clausted.
Starting point is 00:04:19 You know, these accountants. I remember before we met each other because I was already putting up like nude photos on Instagram And then someone's like well you and Stauvers basically have the same Instagram Yeah, the first photo I saw you as you running through a spring clip. That was that was one of the classes Yeah, Stauvi baby originals and we were like we should do photos together Yeah, each month the the finance is I come over for thanksgiving and
Starting point is 00:04:41 Stauvers literally cooked a turkey I had a prop turkey ready to go. You cooked a real turkey, a real bird, and I had no money at the time either. That was like, I hit my pot, it was like a $60 turkey. How long did you cook the turkey for? For a long time.
Starting point is 00:04:55 It was like a real turkey. It was crispy. Why don't you just get like a rotisserie chicken or something? Those are like nine dollars. Listen, you got a fucking fake it till you make it. I'm not gonna sit here. I'm not you make it. I'm not gonna sit here. I'm not gonna sit here. I'm not gonna sit here for this Greek tiger.
Starting point is 00:05:07 That's right, we did that turkey. If I had a rotisserie chicken, we're fucking sitting in my living room right now. No fucking mural behind us. Doing a podcast, no one's listening to. That's true. That's what really catapulted you. It's the turkey.
Starting point is 00:05:20 It was the turkey. So, it was just, every week was about like, hollow, higher digs. It was. So we had Mario and Luigi one that was hollow in those were classic. Before I had a mustache, I had to put on a fake one. Wow, can you imagine? Look at you now.
Starting point is 00:05:35 In the toothless days. The bald and toothless days. Not anymore. What are you laughing at? You thought like this, like the wind is blowing through your bogs, man. I don't know where you're at. I've naturally sinned hair, Marie. Yeah, the bang is juicy. Thank you so much. The curls are pretty nice.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Look on a shampoo do you use? I feel like you use like a three-year one. It's so fake. Free. No, no, I don't use three-year one. How dare you? A shampoo body wash. Don't come in here with your stock white men, three and one. Well, the hair was a little stringy. Listen, I am in need of a new regimen, of a new routine, but you know, I fucking, now I don't go to a fucking salon, but at Walgreens. Yeah, at Dwayne Reed, I'm doing the best shampoo I can find
Starting point is 00:06:25 at Dwayne Read, that's what I'm doing. Okay, no coupons. No coupons, full price. Just the points. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My CVS bucks, I use that shit, I don't know, what the fuck is that shit called? Do you see it in my bathroom, Elders?
Starting point is 00:06:39 Is it that round bottle? That round bottle? No, it's the O5. I know. No, how dare you? No, I'm not past Garnier fructose. Garnier fructose. You're fructose.
Starting point is 00:06:47 You got the green bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know if you went to the salon, they would probably make that it look real juicy. I don't know. I'm not gonna have to go. Just go like once. Where's a good salon?
Starting point is 00:06:56 I don't know. I don't know how that kind of hair. Or just get hair transplant. I did it. I don't want to get hair transplant. I do think what, because I think I'm just sick. This is part of the look. We're in a Greek diner. Yes. I can't get a transplant. I've got to rock this transplants. I do think, because I think I'm just sick. This is part of the look, we're in a Greek diner.
Starting point is 00:07:05 I can't get transplants. I've got to rock this. Exactly, I got it. But I will say, was I telling you about it? No, I was telling my brother about it. There will be, I got to go bald ponytail. I'm going to wait till it gets real nice along. And then after that, I do have to make another move.
Starting point is 00:07:19 And I was thinking weaves. I was thinking there is no straight white man that's dipped his toe into weaves. I was thinking there is no straight white man that's dipped his toe into weaves. Why not? Why am I in the shop for the glue man? Exactly, exactly. And just fucking come out with a fucking full blonde curls one day.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Oh, Fabio, full Fabio. And then you guys can do like a rot and calm, like book cover. Yeah, dude, I wanna, yeah, I want to get married I want to get married with the foot with you know just hair down to my knees Every two weeks so my so I have two friends who did it. Okay, they really glued okay nice They glued on the head, but then they tell you you can't sweat and you can't itch it so my Friend Monet got done
Starting point is 00:08:12 Ripped it off at the airport because it was so itchy. Oh my god. I'm not supposed to let you know about the padded The classic cat of course the classic Pat of course that would feel nice I would feel connected to the to the black community if I started patting my my comb over if I started patting my, my comb over. I thought you thought look real fast, I feel like I'm in Haiti. That would be fucking sick. It'd just be like a fat 40-year-old white man in his son's like parent-teacher conference. So, so he's not listening. So what's going on with Trap? He's just not paying attention. I'm wearing dockers.
Starting point is 00:08:45 They're sure there's only kind of Hell yeah, that's that's a dream But yeah, we'll get there so the transplants going good though. You look great. Thanks. It's it's gonna take it So I got it done August 29th and then it could they all come in September or they come in in of December. Takes four months ago. And when the doctor asked me, he was like lineage, like do you have anyone balled in your family? I was like no, he's like your brother, no,
Starting point is 00:09:10 but your dad, no, because what about your mom's dad? And I go, my mom's dad is a Mexican with a one inch forehead. Oh, he's like Theresa Joudon. He's here, there. There. His hair like literally is under his nose. That's awesome. Ready.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Yeah. So you got fucks genetically. I got fucks genetically. But you got the, you're fucking your body's hot, though. Thank you You got that juicy fucking the abs you got the fat ass. It's either that or hair, dude Your claw When I hear women be like I want to be with somebody who's tall and smart. I'm like girl Be short and smart's tall and smart. I'm like, girl, he'll be short and smart or tall and tall. Exactly. And L this is 6-5 by the way. And he can't read. I'm just pressing buttons here. Yeah. None of this is being recorded. He looks like this. Yeah, no, absolutely. That's
Starting point is 00:10:03 good, man. I'm happy for you. What's going on the overall? You're traveling though. What's the dating life looking like? The dating life is just I was sort of seeing this guy for like five months. We would like FaceTime every single day and then we may have vacations together. Wow, that's cute. But then I was like, oh, do you want to do long distance? And he was like, I can't it would be impossible. I just can't do it. Interesting. And I was like, God damn. Now, I'm gay long distance.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Isn't that just a guy you call sometimes? Yeah. Oh, don't own gay guys like each other. I'll set other guys off on the side. Or am I being homophobic right now? Both. Yeah. You're being problematic and correct.
Starting point is 00:10:40 You're being problematic and correct. Yeah. I think it's true and homophobic. I can't say that. I mean, I guess there's like 12 guys who don't. Incorrect True and I mean I guess there's like 12 guys who don't Gays couples and they're lying. Yeah, yeah, and one of them is cheating Most of the guys I sleep with which is a big a very small number, but most of them are partner. Yeah I think their husbands know of course. I love the thing They tell what do I do? Don't tell.
Starting point is 00:11:07 It's the Clinton army. That's the game. That's brought it back. Yeah. I just for our own imperatives. For dating. Yeah. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Yeah. I'm dating girls in open relationships. It's pretty nice. It feels like a girlfriend Airbnb is how I could it. Oh, please. You know, once a week, you know what I mean? I can't afford a house, but I wanna go to the fuck, you know, I wanna go to the upstate, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:31 this weekend. Cavin, you know what I mean? I'm gonna go upstate. I'm gonna go upstate, because I see everyone going upstate. I'm like, I wanna do an upstate week. Where do people go? What would you do, hang out with some bears? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:41 No, well that means a lot to get confused. Yeah, she would No, I'm not into usually in the bears, but he said no don't wow Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he doesn't want his DMs flooded with guys that look like me and eldest I heard you were in the bears He has his whole account. I'm actually married I'm actually married But bears are usually like very I feel like if you like are calling yourself a bear They've got like a bear flag bear pride, but like bears love bears
Starting point is 00:12:12 You know, and I'm just sort of like playing Fortnite with friends You know like the the tribalism the fat gay guys have put on to their It's not just that's not just bears. It's every like I'm so too much But I want to find like an upstate, like people go and like enjoy a little cabin. Yeah, where do people go? Did you go anywhere else this, did you ever go upstate? Like Hudson, I mean, Hudson, New York is not.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Woodstock. Woodstock. You just find like Airbnb. Yeah, yeah. And then what do you do up there? You just like, just like, just like that. Just like a like hippie reform people who like, we're tired of being poor in the city for
Starting point is 00:12:46 Yeah, you go to like a little shop You know you get your dick sucked while the while the leaves turn That's maybe maybe a deer comes out You go with someone you want to fuck you don't go to like there's nothing to do So you like you fuck and then there's like you go for a little walk and you go, you know you go to a nice diner Who would you like? Who's man would you bar? I guess I mean I would like to go and like cook we find like wake up and cook and like maybe like if there's like a hot tub or just lazy.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Yeah, I don't know. No, I'm with you. There's something restorative about that. Yeah, that's what y'all say, but it's I've seen a lot of lifetime movies. I've seen a lot of episodes. Yes, it's always like this house is very secluded. The neighbors three miles away and it's like you go die. What was that movie? The Strangers or what was and it's like, you gon' die. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:45 What was that movie, The Strangers? What was it called with Liv Tyler? Remember the... Never saw it. No, The Neighbor's The Strangers, where they like, there's like a married couple. Yeah. They go to the fort, like one of those houses
Starting point is 00:13:56 and then there's like three people keep like antagonizing. Yeah, I am with you though. Yes. Those, the fall, the upstate shoot is really nice during the day, and then at night I get a, because I'm a city, we're all city kids here.
Starting point is 00:14:08 I'm a group of people. So there is a little bit of that. I also like, The sun sets at 306. So you gotta get all your stuff out. That is true. That's a good point. That's a good point.
Starting point is 00:14:17 And it gets darkest from me later. So it's like by 9 AM to 3 PM, like get your apple butter and then go home and lock it up. No, you're right. Where do you want to go? What's your vacation spot? Mmm. There it is. No, you're right. What's your what do you want to go? It's your vacation spot Iris no no no no. I've already done that been there done that whatever got your Paris. Yeah
Starting point is 00:14:33 I'm going to Thailand in January. That's cool. I want to go to Italy because I feel like I have a good time there. Yeah Yeah, um, and Something hot and sexy nice when you try get flown out. Oh Beautiful she Is that like she does she talks a big game, but I don't think you're out there honing out that much Every year I've known you the next year Let's put that pussy to work It's pussy and personality
Starting point is 00:15:16 People just get to sit next to me and be like Yeah, yeah, then the last day's like haha pretty good time. We having here in Thailand, isn't it? He has to be like, yeah, he's like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're trying to give yourself food poisoning? I'm riding an elephant. Yeah. That's a good move actually. You promised in last night and then you just have to eat like a bad oyster.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Then you're out of here. Who was coming out of hope? He's coming out of the front. My pussy is diarrhea somehow. I'd love to fuck you, but I'm on my period by pussy got diarrhea. But also get the caviar. Can you feed it to me? You're pussy feel better. Okay, all better. It's not one for myself also to be fair.
Starting point is 00:16:08 We coming out of a pan-damn. Sure. You can't be getting flued out. First of all, we couldn't go nowhere. True. No where cute. And secondly, like, you're not about to give me monkey pox in Spain. I'm not getting it. I got my second monkey pox shot.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Good for you. Good for you, Mattel. I think that you still get it from me. I'm telling you, I don't want that. Did your monkey pox shot. Good for you. Good for you, Mateo. I think that you still get a hoax in Spain. I'm telling you, I don't want that. Did your monkey pox shot and come for it? You monkey pox with an accent? I definitely don't. They changed it to M pox now. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:16:33 Yeah, they're like, well the branding issue. I'm like branding. It does sound, monkey pox does sound racist. Like it really does. You remember the, it sounds like something that H&M came up with. Oh my god. What was an H&M. It was definitely an H&M.
Starting point is 00:16:46 The pull-list monkey in the jungle. And it was a little blacky on the neck. And I think he was on monkey bars. It was like, hmm. It was almost so racist that it canceled out. Right. It was almost so many things. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Your mind was like confused. It was like dazzle camouflage. And you know his mother was on set making sure like nobody was touching her Key, right? It's like what says why did you let him put that on? I know could we got a rhino? Rhino solves it all and you're right like a rap. Yeah, it was something else. Ryan Come on zebra. Yeah, um who played the zebra and Madagascar Black And what the zebra and Madagascar. Chris Rock. Chris Rock. Black. And white.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Interesting. So you were just, you were doing shit during the pandemic, huh? You were staying home. I don't know why I was talking to me every single day. I don't, I travel a little, a little bit. I was that first wave of people that went to, to loom. Black eldest eldest on vacation for four months during the pandemic. He was on a fucking road trip, it was fucking hilarious.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Where did you go? I was in Ohio, my girlfriend's parents' place for like five months, that first two. Taloon, Ohio. No, we didn't go to Taloon. No, I'm kidding. This is about the same. You went somewhere. Did you go to Taloon?
Starting point is 00:18:01 We took a road trip from Ohio to Utah, Colorado. Okay, some desert shit. Very mormoning. It's nice over there. It's cute. We took a roacher from Ohio to Utah, Colorado. Okay, some desert shit. Very mormon-ing. It's nice over there. It's cute. That's cool. I'm not saying the culture, but the big-ass rocks.
Starting point is 00:18:15 There's big-ass orange. Yeah, we did some national parks and shit. And it's a nice legit cacti to cactus that are in the cartoons. Like this. Not cactus. Like in the rock. More like some red rock shit saw the salt flats in Utah My
Starting point is 00:18:33 We got a house that had a pool and we were like, yeah, this is what like April September My birthday It was cute. You know in New York the whole time. You weren't on that boat in Brazil that the gaze drowned? No. Oh, that was in Mexico, in Porto Viarra. That was his stare.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Gays were having a f**k on his head. Oh, man, I'm so happy I know him. That's one of my steps. I was like, I'm out of y'all know. I've seen his only fans. I stayed in New York the whole time and the first place that I went was like April 2021 Or maybe it was May and I went to Spain to go see what I was planning on a trip to go see my ex And he lives in Spain and we had this whole thing we're gonna go to Spain
Starting point is 00:19:16 I was gonna go to Italy and blah blah blah and so I was flying from New York to Paris Paris to Barcelona And when I got to Paris I called him was like hey, I'll see you in two hours and he was like a more day I have covid what and I was like but I do But I haven't had a solid food in 48 hours Ross Delta bra The creates a movement I'm not introducing water. In case the crates are moving. Oh my God. I did the whole thing myself.
Starting point is 00:19:48 I did the little vacation myself. But I have friends in Spain and Italy. So I ended up being a really beautiful trip. But you didn't get, you didn't get dicked down. No, this is... You didn't say all that. First of all, wrong. Secondly, the passport got stamped and so did my friend.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yeah. I'm sorry. I briefly tried not to be homophobic and I've learned my lesson. Actually, to be fair, I didn't get to get to down. Okay. I was being nice. But it was funny because when I got to Spain, I had to quickly get another hotel and then he was, he's like, you can stay here to help me feel better? I was like, no. Absolutely not. I bought some ibuprofen, threw it up to his balcony. I was like, you can stay here to help me feel better. I was like, no. Absolutely not. I bought some ibuprofen, threw it up to his balcony.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I was like, go in Italy, child. Yeah. That's great. This was the good. So that was a really good relationship that you had. That has to. It was so good. It was still fresh.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Oh, I got it. Go. Makes the car reel abrupt, L this. Slice the right thing. We're all going to be doing in different positions. Make the cut real abrupt. L this Right I'm gonna be doing in different positions Really bad episode of the West like Fuck damn it so yeah, that was funny. I do messy. I'm a messy little slut. What can I say? I'm a messy little bitch I'm a messy little bitch. I'm not gonna bet so many times.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Yeah. That's, yeah, no, but I don't know. I do want to go on a little, I want to go vacation mode soon, but. What are you going to do? Once you're done with the touring, we're both ending our tour in May. So I'm going, I'm off, I'm out, I'm going to Italy, goodbye. Yeah. I have my new hair.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Yeah. My tie up is going to be salon motion coming out of a pool and everything Oh real waiting for tornadoes just to let my hair With no shame, okay, so where are you gonna go? I don't know, dude, I eat I probably go to Greece Yeah, my cousin's getting married. Oh, it'll be nice. Yeah, so she get married in September Probably do a little euro trip Do it Italy you should go to Italy. I haven't been to Italy because Greece and Italy it's so.
Starting point is 00:21:49 No, but you need to go to Rome. I do. I'm a history nerd too. So I'll be nice to know that. Food will be more striking on you. Yeah. Pasta, it's literally savoros, you'll lose your fucking mind. I'll get that going guys. I want to go to Greece too
Starting point is 00:22:06 Yeah, I've never been to Greece you've never done it. You've never been to Greece anything But this the year somebody's gonna send me there I feel it in my car This the year that someone's gonna pay my rent Yeah, I know I'm doing doing that no more. I just feel like you do a pie yourself. I know I'm doing bad. It's just lazy. That's what it comes down to. I'm like, dang, am I off the sleep with this old ass man?
Starting point is 00:22:32 Yeah, look, I'm never going to do that. How old? I'm going to go to creep. And I'm like, I'm going to leave his blood pressure medicine. You're going to switch it out. You're going to put tic-tax in his fucking blood pressure and the Seattle is out the window That's hilarious even now. Yeah, what's the oldest? I mean all this person you've ever hooked up with Probably in their 40s. Okay. Yeah, but I'm also 36 So it's not right now. It's like I'm moving
Starting point is 00:23:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I've heard the name though Yeah, wait've heard the name though. Mathuzela. I thought that was a Disney character. It is. Okay. It is. Yeah. Wait, let's see. Mathuzela. Let's find her. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Okay, you just knew how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out.
Starting point is 00:23:39 You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. You know how to spell it out. Man of the the father the grandfather of Noah. He was Noah's grandfather. I don't even know no I had a dad Mathausalus Mathausalus Yeah, he was a biblical patriarch and a figure in Judaism Christianity Islam
Starting point is 00:23:53 He had the longest legs fans. Oh, let's get there. You go your Methuselah. I'm with her me. Well gay gay men are Historically really great about aging The gay community. Oh, I'll look like this when I'm 94. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah It'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you won't believe it yourself. That's the problem. Absolutely Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Of course not, it is pretty nice. That face is gonna be tight You have to you have to shrink all your food This is nice when I blow my nose it comes out my back. Oh, yeah, we give in young John rivers
Starting point is 00:24:30 What about you what's the oldest fucking guy? Maybe like 40 You thought I was you know wrinkly, but well, they're all wrinkly Whatever is just asexual, That's where we come down to. You know, it's very possible. No, I'm a sexual person, but I also like I could tell by looking at a man if it's going he gonna make me come and I I don't even want to waste my life. You're like the lowest level X-Men. It's still better than Jubilee.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Well, was she just like fireworks in a yellow post? She was hot though. I love Jubilee. Well, she just like fireworks and a yellow She was hot though. I love Jubilee. Yeah, or no, I'm thinking of the other row. It was a I really had a big thing for rogue sugar. Yeah, okay. She sounded like gambit Ganba was crazy. Oh, she was Southern Both you know, gambit was Cajun Cajun Cajun. Cajun, Cajun Cajun is like New Orleans. Cajun is a food man. Oh, I do the clay all.
Starting point is 00:25:27 I kinda shit. I do, and she was like, well, sure, that's the thing. Yeah, I shit. They're both giving you sweet tea. No, if you look up, we should look up on YouTube, Gambit and Rogue on. Yeah, having a combo. It's the same person doing both voices.
Starting point is 00:25:38 He's like this, and I guess. It's like Mel, whatever his name is, who did all the bugs, Bunny Voice. Oh, Mel Blank, her. Mel Blank, who's the food show bugs bunny voice. Oh, Mel blank Mel blank Gambit rogue X-Men the only time I've ever seen you with a dude was like it was like an honestly I was he was like I want to say like extra strength white guy Maybe like a foreign
Starting point is 00:25:59 I'll see I'm gonna remember this years ago that might have been my accountant See I don't even remember this years ago that might have been my accountant My attorney you were dipping your toes in play. Oh, I think I know who you're talking about yeah, no, I was a No, no, he was coming around. Wow, you're it What do you mean he was coming around? Oh, hold on let on, let's play it. Let's listen here. Why don't you open that? He said it so racistly. He said it so racistly.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Hey. There's a little sob there first of all. The jits learn Whatever vacation There's a little something different from Very friends. Yeah, there's a little more friendship. She's just like Sound like Peggy yeah She sounds like it makes between Bobby and Peggy And I don't know why I'm so attracted to that. Oh hell yeah. Can I have a can. The ring is this cartoon back.
Starting point is 00:27:11 It's a great cartoon. I love it. The fucking guitar. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Could you open the window? Wings lie, then sweep the halls from our pop. I wasn't even doing it because Mateo's got to go, you know, I just want to make sure we get 27 right now. Okay, okay, okay. We're gambling and rogue fucking. Oh, I have to go in like 40 minutes.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Okay, 40 minutes. Okay, well that's fine. That's how long it's gonna be to get here. I'm calling 645, it's 645 right now. Oh, Paul, for what? Me, my phone. I'm kind of calling you out at 6 o'clock. For a thing, prime chose,
Starting point is 00:27:46 it's important that I do have to do it. Oh, really, really, be a sous, be a sous. No, for how dare you motherfucker speak a language I can't. We got so vis-Ă -vis. Not on my fucking podcast. Yeah. Alice, you know, I was thinking the other day. I love, you know what I love, mango the fruit.
Starting point is 00:28:03 I love it sweet, it's delicious. And the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off, be like, this actually, one time after a day, I was like, want to come back for some fruit salad and I thought it was smooth and then some girl after she fucking was like that was so weird you asked me to come over for a fruit salad I was like I don't know I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time well they say mangoes are an effort easy act well here's the thing
Starting point is 00:28:40 I'll thank you for bringing me back on point, because I was eating the mango, and oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards, and I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game.
Starting point is 00:29:03 You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest. You know I'm an ED. I've tried them all from the gas stations to other services. Mango RX now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay? Really? Tastes like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary because like I said I've tried
Starting point is 00:29:26 them all out and they got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before my life but let me tell you this made my dick harder than ever. We're talking zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing! That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yes, one little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. gleam one little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. I don't know. Yeah. I because like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science shit in here.
Starting point is 00:30:19 They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It is. It was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with a new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field, right?
Starting point is 00:30:39 People who have a beautiful goal, here's their mission, make America hard again, eldest. They have, you know, let's get, can we get, fuck, an idiot. There you go, sorry. We tried to give it the applause, it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think on, whatever side of the aisle you're on. Conservative liberal leftist centrist. You could we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with
Starting point is 00:31:11 harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away. All this. I think this is such a good product. Eldis, I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about my ego, Alex, you might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal. Yeah. All right. I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You seen you see me take getables That's sure just cuz you want a little dummy I'm so much like I'm saying you take weed Edibles I've seen you take fiber
Starting point is 00:31:55 Edibles where you're shitting yourself cuz you wanted a momentary a momentary snack I've seen you take thoms on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste and that's how we got Elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks buying mango buying mango is so easy Just go to mango rx.com complete a short and secure telemedicine visit you're in your out and mango can be shipped Distraintly straight to your door the telemedicine visit is over and literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing Quick and easy be sure to use code over in literally a matter of minutes, it's nothing. Quick and easy, be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order.
Starting point is 00:32:28 You and your partner are gonna love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms. And in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around, the Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding
Starting point is 00:33:08 for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or Justification get an air B&B Stop showing a stop showing off Mateo we get it you speak a lot of languages I'm not telling you I'm not giving you any more linguistic knowledge
Starting point is 00:33:41 linguistic knowledge. This is the archa. There's something like that. That's a talent. She's the archa. Oh, but look at me knowing it. That's a wo-lingo. I'm really proud of you. Yeah, they're pretty, they are, yeah, gambit and rogue.
Starting point is 00:33:56 I mean, I don't know. Rogue was definitely a formative cartoon crush for me. Red hair was always, you know, fucking poison ivy. Poison ivy was big. Uh, poison ivy. Roger rabbit, Jessica rabbit. Come on. Who is voiced by, um, Kathleen Turner? Kathleen Turner, isn't that fantastic? Yeah. I love everyone's and I'll just watch Kathleen Turner interviews because she's just one of these actresses that is so, um, honest, down to earth and delusional at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love her like, acting.
Starting point is 00:34:26 What is acting? I couldn't even believe it myself when I first started to act. When I, back in my day, the 40s, and I was young and beautiful. Now, it's like she's so important. I don't know who Kathleen Turner is. Oh, you would recognize her voice. Yeah. Well, you just did it, and I still was laughing.
Starting point is 00:34:41 I believe she played, later, she played Chandler's dad. In a very transphobic character. I was like, you know what I'm saying? It was like, you know. I'm not about that. She also played the voice of the Malibu Stacey doll episode in the city. She was Malibu original.
Starting point is 00:35:02 That's a classic. Like, will you do it? Will you help me? No, no, I'm too drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he was now the original That's a glaze. That's a classic. Like, will you do it? Will you help me? Not, not too drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that was good stuff. Well, yeah, any cartoon crushes over here? What are we, what are we working on?
Starting point is 00:35:13 You know what I was always, as a kid, which this is even gayer, I was always uh, following the women, the Maleficent and Storm, like the dramatic, the drag. You were standing. I was throwing the hug away. Yeah, Storm will make it right and he was like, yeah. She better work.
Starting point is 00:35:33 She did. I mean, she really, it would make my little gay heart swell. I loved it so much. Every Saturday, we had at 10 o'clock for the X-Men to come on and just wait for Storm and oh my god Like I'm just in poison ivy storm Maleficent like you know, there's the strong strong dramatic women Now, how did you feel about the umasurmin poison ivy? So I liked it because I didn't realize I was watching camp was very campy
Starting point is 00:35:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it was also just like the first time that anyone gave any kind of recognition just to poison ivy Anyways because it was always like the male Characters that got like they still don't like Wolverine Is everything about over like nine Wolverine movies? Logan's really good though. I like Wolverine. I don't look at good. Oh look is that the last movie last one? We saw it was sad that shit was a legitimate Like get It was fucking brutal Gaze okay, how I described it is with it we wouldn't shut up black people and gay people are the same in the movie in the dark I know no we're much dirtier the dark we were we were so loud that at one
Starting point is 00:36:54 point I was like I'm waiting to get kicked out yeah yeah nothing no I picked this out no they knew Williams came he was humiliated yeah the guy who takes movies so serious he come on man show some respect he's in the room what else right now so myself oh so man yeah there is if I call him like I hated it well because man so I don't I don't tell you man just like the book man I didn't read a book like the first act was okay. And he won't, he will defend the most dog shit movies.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Fawful. Just every Marvel movie he thinks is good. He loves movies. Yeah. We had a big fight about this Matt Damon movie years ago. It was called Jody Foster, Matt Damon. It was about some spaceship or what. Oh, the Martian?
Starting point is 00:37:41 No, no, no, it was even before that. It was, I forget the name of it. It was sort of like, it was a that it was I forget the name of it He look up Mat Day and Jody Foster space movie and it was just trash. I mean Rastia It was our biggest fights about this movie. That's hilarious biggest fights man was a fucking good movie man Biggest fights about this movie. That's hilarious. Biggest fights man was a fucking good movie man Well, what does he he think is a good movie? I Mean any movie that's been made. Yeah, he loves every movie
Starting point is 00:38:15 Yeah, very far. Yeah, we actually hilariously Logan me and my brother my I think it was recently when I moved to New York and me and my brothers My brothers were visiting we wanted to Logan, because we're all like X-Men fans. And I think, I don't remember why. I think the only showtime that worked for all of us was like the Magic Johnson Theater in Harlem. And we're like, and we're like, this is gonna be sick.
Starting point is 00:38:38 We're gonna watch an X-Men movie with a bunch of fucking, it was like middle of the day, it'll just be like, you know, kids skip it school, yellin' at the screen, we're gonna be like, this rocks, but it was exactly, everyone was just like, sad. It was just like, and then we were like, we were like, alright, and then we're just like eating soul food, sad. We're like, eating fucking fried chicken, being like, because it's also these themes about
Starting point is 00:38:59 like, you know, there's like a huge, it's like all, it's a huge daddy issues movie. And we don't have a good relationship with our dad, and we just got into a huge fight. And it was, I mean, you could not have asked for a worse. Like, we thought we were gonna watch a fun Marvel, you know, X-Men's movie. Yeah, he and just like. The Marine had gray hair.
Starting point is 00:39:17 One of his claws was just in the brain. It was like, maybe you don't have no insurance. Like, we thought it's all gonna Professor X about some benefit. Yeah, Professor X about some benefit. Yeah, Professor X was dying. He was having like fucking seizures and like, people were dying because of it. No, we have to talk about your blue cross.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Yeah. Not now, bubba. I saw Dr. Strange 2 with a bunch of fags in the LA and because that movie was made for gay people Yeah, and it was We need to go for him. We went for Wanda And oh Wanda It was first of all it was so gay that the credits the commercial beginning had the Nicole Kim and Aimee movie commercial Which is a kid is already stamped into gay icon rolenoisseur. So we gave her, I'm not making this up,
Starting point is 00:40:07 in LA, like probably 300 gays in the state of the second bat commercial finish, standing ovation. That is, and there was like four straight people were like, what the hell is happening? And then it was just Wanda coming out and murdering people. The only good point, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:22 You better work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, that had some okay moments because it was- It was a terrible movie. It was what's his face. It was a good director. It was the guy who did Evil Dead, Sam Rayman.
Starting point is 00:40:30 I see, I see, I see. So he had some cool moments, but yeah, that movie fucking sucked. But it was so cool to watch or kill every one. The parts where she's fucking moan people down, there's like 10 minutes, great. That movie rocked. But everything else was fucking dog shit.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Yeah, that's it. But Evan would have been like like It's a really good movie He was like new man's a size the which I love the director It's just so like the water sees man She's done that before But I put Evan's face over Mateo. Yeah, when this comes out This is man You liked the material cuz it was Maleficent
Starting point is 00:41:06 that's why you like the moment killing guys you loved it yeah it's you legit sound he's got it he nailed it I do a great you're a great voice guy you have a lot of great impression you do voice over no I did it voice on a cartoon show I was a I was a villain nice. That's my dream to play a villain I was you'll be the villain in someone's life when your divorce when your divorce goes through I don't need to get married, but I want to be engaged several Three three Engagements that I'm keeping all the rings. Yeah, that's smarter. That's smart. That's what I want to be like Three three engagements that I'm keeping all the rings
Starting point is 00:41:48 Yeah, you'll see me in your black Maria House Peter. I'm a black Peter For his that's a I'm very I'm engaged to Jordan And every time you see me I keep on She's gonna look like Jordan She's gonna look like Jordan I'm getting a different dime every time Princess Cup Pink And then I'll be like Or you just keep it on the same finger
Starting point is 00:42:17 And they have to like put the ring on Already other rings Yes, like that toy that little kids like put the Yeah, yeah, yeah The dentist office With highlights for kids Oh, highlight Already on the right. Yes, like that toy that little kids like put the Yeah, yeah. The dentist office. With highlights for kids. Oh, highlight.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Highlight. Fine, highlight. Great magazine. Great magazine. Great magazine. Great magazine. Yeah. All right, why don't we fucking start doing some,
Starting point is 00:42:36 we, you know, we're gabbing enough. I think the people need your guys expertise. Great. We have some questions here. We have, I think we're going to, we've, you've clearly shown yourselves as people with your lives fully together. So why don't we answer these motherfuckers questions? Hit us with the first one, Eldis.
Starting point is 00:42:52 And by the way, folks at home, 904-800-STAUV, give us your voice mails. These fine folks won't be able to answer your future questions, but we will be back next week with a different guest that can give you some answers. Go ahead, Alice. Hit us with the first one. You'll stop. I got paid a five ton of money to move to Arkansas for work. I just moved here like two months ago.
Starting point is 00:43:20 I've literally already been to a mule jumping competition and I literally go to Walmart and see the Dugger family Uh, I'm single and how do I meet hot guys in Arkansas? Where does one go? Mateo leave Arkansas That's good advice. I was gonna say farmers only dot com Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know know Maybe my feel nice get tossed around in a in a hill a hill with a hill with she called Hey, a hey bail a hey bail, you know what I mean? Get fucked in a barn Not doing anything for any of you. It's gonna be it's gonna be a farmer with like real rough Calis dirty. Yeah, it's real broke back mountain. That's what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:44:05 That's you got to lean into it if you're gonna you know you got to go country. Do they have a target? Also, you got a target to pick up a little better than a woman What's hot like Arkansas hot or like New York? Because Arkansas hot is smooth. It was like hot guys on farms in Arkansas like beefy dudes, you know corn fed hot You know like hey my mouth, you know corn fed hot, you know like hey, mom out, you know like that's hot I feel like they all leave So go to college and play football somewhere. No, no, no, you're gonna come back You're gonna come back or the what about the ones who blew their knees out in high school?
Starting point is 00:44:35 Well, they're not gonna be able to do that. I did that and I didn't Still have a bad knee That's my sports injury. I'm a Théo-Toron ACL sucking dick. I got a PT guy coming over to help my teeth. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, yeah, a target is a good. Is there a target?
Starting point is 00:45:04 Is there a Starbucks? Yeah, because Starbucks, I don't know. You really have to explain. I don't know. I mean, yeah. Target is a good. Is there a target? Is there a Starbucks? Yeah, because Starbucks, I'm excited New York is classic. It's a Starbucks. Exactly. Starbucks in New York is where, I gotta take a shit. Where's the Starbucks? Starbucks outside of New York is like, is anyone want any Starbucks? Yeah, and it's like,
Starting point is 00:45:19 ooh, yay. This is a white mocha. Oh, yeah, they wasted and they pee pee peelones. Yeah, you're gonna say like, wow. And it's gonna give them some money. Yeah, so I guess you're gonna definitely know Walmart, but. But I feel like in the South, Arkansas is the South, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:40 I feel like people, I don't know what I mean. You know, I know where the key states are. But I feel like people, yeah, I don't know what I mean. You know, I know where the key states are. But I feel like people and I know Texas, because of the shape. And Louisiana is the boot. That's right. Okay. See me doing it.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Good job. And then Florida is the ugly one. Yeah, of course. But I feel like people in the South hang out in Walmart. That's the hangout spot. Well, it's their everything. You know what I'm saying? So like you go there.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I mean, it's like a Walmart outside, just generally speaking in smaller towns is like kind of like the new community. It's like the club. Yeah. I mean, isn't the real answer here more than any other place? Like you got to meet somebody online.
Starting point is 00:46:20 If you're an Arkansas, you can do a little more selection. Yeah, this does feel like a call from 1997. Yeah. You know what I mean? I wonder what her job is. That's interesting to pay a ton of money to move to Arkansas for work. What could the job be? Is there anybody, is there any cock in the office?
Starting point is 00:46:37 Okay. Okay. Should you, should you break the rule of don't sleep with your coworkers? That's not really an Arkansas rule. You know what I mean? Like you got, I think that some is, don't sleep with your cousin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, sleep with your cousin.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, it's not looking good for you, but, you know, what the women look like. That's true. What are the girls giving? Do you have to, do you have to, like, you know, adjust your expectations for what a hot. Someone was making the point earlier, we were talking Arkansas hot or New York hot.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Arkansas hot, they were probably around, but do you wanna stay in Arkansas? That's another thing. Are we talking, you're just trying to get dick down here and you're not gonna live in Arkansas full time? Because that's the case. How do I meet hot guys? So, it sounds like they wanna get dick down
Starting point is 00:47:21 because if you're saying, I'm singling, I wanna meet somebody different. I'm singling, I wanna meet hot guys. Okay. Well bitch go to a bar and go to a bar. Yeah point. Yeah Pull what pretend like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, you know, the level of wowings pretend one of your tits fell out of your shirt Mm-hmm. Okay, someone's coming up to you quick Or go to a game don't they do sports in Arkansas. Yeah, you gotta go to a game and pretend to raise your backs game Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah or go to a game don't they do sports in Arkansas yeah you got to go to a game and put a razor backs game yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the college football team razor back that's a fucking thing what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is what is what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it It's one! Voted home, Razorbacks. This sound more racist or homophobic. Hahaha. You think you are talking to me too.
Starting point is 00:48:07 It's like every audition I get is always like we get the same auditions. It's like funny best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never the main character. Always the supportive one with like the whip. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting, you know, I got auditions for the title role of something.
Starting point is 00:48:22 I didn't get it. I'm hearing Queens which are. Hahaha. Yeah, you're doing a podcast for the Uber and a something I didn't get it I'm here in Queens, which are Yeah, you're doing a podcast for the Uber and a Spana Copita All right, so good luck our Arkansas friend. It's not looking good for you But if you just try to get dick down that you know Buffalo out you're gonna be dubbed up But don't go on wing night go full price you want the guy willing to to pay full price for his wings Hit us, Eldis. Hey, Stabby. Listen, Thanksgiving was all right.
Starting point is 00:49:07 I mean, what the fuck? But prior to that, I was dating a squirrel for the past year and a half, and she fucked in out of the blue. Totally dumps me via text message. No contact at all. Come through. Come through. Shoot some move out of the house with a friend without looking me in the
Starting point is 00:49:26 eye oh pretty sure she started doing drugs again again might be worth mentioning but uh... yet is i have so many questions right it's been like two weeks now i see your app and jim she's fucking it she's infiltrated my jim uh... so many questions i want to get petty after all the shit what happened are you getting higher you're someone else all these things?
Starting point is 00:49:45 I want an explanation. I didn't get anything. No sense of closure. Do I just move on? Or do I try to get the questions answered that I want? So far, I've taken the high road. I wish there were well. Told our respect or decision.
Starting point is 00:50:01 Again, over for a message, because you won't fucking talk to me in person or over the phone. And whatever, wish you're the best and thank you for your time. And I wish you the best family kindness and all this year. I put your part time job. Because they're my unique. He's not how long this message is. I'm right at bleak. The minimum.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I guess it's been a lot. You know, the 1958 go all the way down. We'll see when you see the bigger and better, I guess, but oh, wow, Guess Oh, wow, he's still making the same point About yeah Oh Okay the cheesy thing. But now, what are the specials with the, so the cheese? Okay. What is cheese? What's the question?
Starting point is 00:50:49 Okay, the question out of all that, out of an hour, a minute and a half was, do I confront my ex or do I not? Basically that's you do want to know if he should see closure or not. No, closure is fake. Closure doesn't exist. No, you measure the closure.
Starting point is 00:51:04 It really doesn't exist. Sometimes I've got closure the other day. Okay, like a month ago. How did it happen? I got the eek The eek so he was at my house and I was looking at him and I was like Yuck My mind body soul was like Just nothing happened You literally are a villain. You are, in that man, you were already a villain in that man's role. He just, what happened? Yeah, in my lab. What probably happened is he was vulnerable for one second. You were like, no, that's not what it is.
Starting point is 00:51:38 No, he was not vulnerable at all. He was the opposite of that. Maybe a little vulnerability would have done it. Yup, okay. But actually, that might have made it worse. Let's see, that's what I'm saying. You are officially in. Not you, Brian, in my house. Yeah, you're sad about work. Your mom died?
Starting point is 00:52:00 You look at your finger like, well, I'm like, what's there? This is gonna get me to France for free. Right, I'm like, that's terrible. You're orders in food or you're checking your DMs a mansion in Wisconsin. Hahaha. Somewhere in Ashton. Hahaha. I think that this person is mentioned
Starting point is 00:52:29 multiple times that she might be on drugs. And it's like- And it's interesting little tidbit. He said it too, like she was like a candle maker. Like some sort of like arbitrary thing was like, oh yes, she did. She was. Anyway, so uh-
Starting point is 00:52:40 We assumed it was all- We all assumed it was me. Oh, I- Eps, no question. Yeah. But she was at- but she was at the gym That's mess energy. Yeah, she's early mess. You still can you know before the teeth go and It's not pills. It was pills. She's not at the gym. No, no, she's fucking not she's nodding off watching family guy
Starting point is 00:53:04 If she's on not she's nodding off watching family guy if she's on Sadness it's like recommend for a dream the mother the fridges following her. Oh god the indignity so okay Look some fucked up happened. Here's the thing. He kind of went to He kind of probably it sounds like he went too nice after we got that text He's like I wish to well you don't have to wish your well. She kind of probably, it sounds like he went too nice. After we got that text, he's like, I wish your well. You don't have to wish your well. She kind of fucked you here. It's just crazy. Babe, you get the closure when she opens her mouth
Starting point is 00:53:32 with that text, right? When she's like, I don't want to do that. And she's at the house and can't look at you, but she's picking up her stuff. That's when you're like, she probably, yeah, maybe something fucked up happened, but you need to just start getting over this person. Either way, she's either on drugs again or maybe he's even using that as an excuse.
Starting point is 00:53:51 This sounds like somebody did something she doesn't want to face, maybe she cheated, maybe she, you know, some bad. It does sound like it's projecting more than anything. Yeah. That she can't face her own issues and so instead she's just acting mad and not speaking to them. It's weird for mad and not speaking to him. It's weird for her to go to his gym. There's something.
Starting point is 00:54:07 We're missing a lot of the story. We're missing a lot. We got a lot of the story. Right. I didn't say what he told us was concise. I didn't say he was good at giving information. What's that ad that you've got on YouTube? It's the summary or like it makes the, yeah, it makes the word no essays more clear
Starting point is 00:54:25 We we definitely need that but the other the other reason he's fucking rambling because this man is destroyed his girlfriend I'm sure he's like hey stop She didn't met you know, okay, I wish you're well. We do like it. Yeah, let's like this is I'm translating here I'm translating here. No, you are. You're paying to me. I have to, as the only one who's fluent in sad straight man. He goes, he goes, are you kidding? That's all I know.
Starting point is 00:54:52 He goes, Mima, I'm sorry, not hard, sad straight man. Oh, you're on your own. He did it on your own. He goes, Mima, I'm about to go on a date with another girl who's frankly in is better looking. So I mean on to big, or so I'm about to go on a date with another girl who's frankly in is better looking. So I mean on to big or so I'm going to be a bigger and better. I guess nonetheless, where you'll piece of my is he real?
Starting point is 00:55:12 Here's the thing. Here's the thing that he's saying that is he's like lashing out a little bit. He wants to get a little power back like, huh? I'm I'm looking up with a hotter chick. I don't even care. And he's so sad. Yeah. This man is devastated.
Starting point is 00:55:24 He can't face what's going on. He's honored. He's't even care. And he's so sad. This man is devastated. He can't face what's going on. He's on the rebound. He's on the rebound. He's just, that's why he's also rambling. There's so many other things. Here's the reality. You're a girlfriend of a year and a half dumped you
Starting point is 00:55:36 in a fucked up fashion. It's ruined you, it's devastated you. Even this idea of, do I see closure? He's just trying to work through his emotions in a way that gives him an excuse to confront her We've all been there. How many fucking pathetic emails have you written after a breakup? We were like this is the last just one last thing I wanted to say like Don't do it. It's sincerely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah best of luck, you know, and you're like don't it
Starting point is 00:56:04 It says you know the and you're like, don't. And it says, you know, it's a Stavros, my website. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Instagram, Twitter, yeah. How many of the, every time I have ever sent one of those two minutes in, I'm like, why? Write that out, let it out of your system. Talk this shit out, talk to your friends, go to fucking therapy, that sounds like you're in therapy.
Starting point is 00:56:21 But this shit's over with this girl. Something fucked up is going on here. Yeah, if you're writing Stavros about your problems. It's done. Yeah, baby. You matters. By the way This is what I think you got it you got to burn the gym down While she's in there It was implied And meanwhile if you're a loser like this man, 904 800 stop. If you don't have, if you want to be ridiculed by a couple mean,
Starting point is 00:56:50 you did pick two mean. I know, I know. One of the clea- You're those muppets in the wall door. Wall door, wall door for stattler. Is that what the stattler name is? Stattler in word? Wall door if I believe you.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Wall door. Anyway, good luck, but that's it. Closure's not real. Should be nice, right? I it. No, I'm very old brand. Yeah, you're doing great And but you never explain how you by the way the best part of that calls like you're talking about getting closure And then the example you gave was you just are like you're talking about getting closure and then the example you gave was you just arbitrarily being like, you know what, fuck this guy.
Starting point is 00:57:27 And this man is like, that guy getting no closure whatsoever. You just had a feeling. You described the opposite of what closure is. Yeah, but this, but you know how sometimes you hook up with somebody or you're with somebody, you break up, you start hooking up again, and you break, it's like a back and forth back and forth. Sure, sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:57:45 The closure was, the Ick was the closure. I asked, oh, so this wasn't like, you just started dating, something came out of it. It's like you gave another shot and you're like, this is what I think. But it's like the scales fell off my eyes and I could see, I was like, oh, this is never not gonna be this.
Starting point is 00:57:59 That's fair, that's different though. That's, this is a different situation where it's like, once a breakup is done in a definitive way It's kind of hard to get closer and even if you're gonna get it It's gonna come when you've healed and you can actually have a conversation person to person with your ex and it's not a motion So you just got a fucking you just got a fucking take some time and get better buddy And we're moving to Arkansas. There's a girl There's some hard up pussy in Arkansas
Starting point is 00:58:25 Take her to a fucking rodeo and get your dick sucked We're moving to Arkansas. There's a girl who's looking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some hard up pussy in Arkansas. Yeah. Take her to a fucking rodeo and get your dick sucked. All right, hit us with another one, Eldis. Oh, good. Nice and short. Hi, Stavvy. Big fan. I've been dating this guy for about a year now.
Starting point is 00:58:44 And he has rage issues. I threatened to break up with him so he got a therapist. So, now I'm wondering is this going to change if you're going to get better or do I just move on and focus on myself? Okay, let me just say something. Yeah. Rage issues. She just say anger issues.
Starting point is 00:59:11 When you use the word rage. Rage, yeah. That's, do you know what rage is? Rage is the final move a Pokemon has when it's run out of moves and it's just flailing. It's cornered. It's cornered. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:22 She's dating Garajous. Yeah. I Mean for rage or OJ Simpson. Yeah, yeah, right. Rage is tough. Rage is you're right. Rage She didn't say anger problem. No, she didn't say emotional problems like like like yeah, it's rage. Yeah, rage is tough Well, I would call the therapist and see what the therapist says and based on it because I want to know like what does that mean like I think the house getting broke. Well that's the thing it's like if this has been violent in any way you've ever felt unsafe all that kind of stuff it's not in my opinion it's not worth it this is being from somebody who grew up in a you know not horribly abusive household but it's like
Starting point is 01:00:03 my you could definitely say my dad had rage issues, right? He would break shit. He never really hit anybody, but just being around that energy will fuck you up, right? And so the fact that you're even like, hey, I was just thinking like, you know, I threatened to break up with him so he got a therapist.
Starting point is 01:00:21 It seems like maybe that could have come up without the existential threat of the relationship. The fact that that's what it took to even get him into therapy. Now at the same time, if what she's talking about is like he yells when his fantasy football team loses and then he went to therapy immediately after they had one conversation about it,
Starting point is 01:00:38 that's different, right? But it doesn't feel that way. It seems like, since you need to go to therapy soon, that's not the case. What do you think? What go to therapy too. Well they both need it. Like it's not our job to fix any of these dudes. Okay. They got to do the work themselves. I think a lot of women came out of the pandemic with skin regimens and therapy and all the men came out working. All the strengthings came out fatter and the same same I lost a lot of weight I got batter after the pandemic that we've lost weight before the pandemic didn't you
Starting point is 01:01:08 and I lost weight back and then I and then I lost weight during the pandemic that I went on the road and it all yeah it's been a roller coaster yeah either way yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you came out worse that's true that's a good point That's true. That's a good point. In conclusion, you get your camera worse. But Star Wars doesn't have a rage. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've been in therapy and shit, but no,
Starting point is 01:01:33 Marin's point is, I seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, like, if he's in therapy, but like, since the fact that you're even writing, and you see how short this is, is because he was coming in, and she was like, I gotta get this. Now, I was going to say the same thing, Marie.
Starting point is 01:01:44 I was like, she was writing this, this is SOS. Yeah, she was like, gotta get that. I was gonna say the same thing for me. I was like she was writing this, this says SOS. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's literally a text message. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like babe you gotta go. You already know what you gotta do. Yeah, it is true. But like now, unless we're, like I said,
Starting point is 01:01:56 if we're misreading this and like this guy fucking yells at football. Let me just say it's not really. But probably all she said was rage issues. Rage issues. She didn't get the last guy was like and then this and that and that this woman just said rage issues Sure and went right to the question. Well, she's a more effective communicator than the last guy There's no question. Maybe she's already in therapy Alexa what's the synonym for rage?
Starting point is 01:02:20 But he is all bad words, but I will say that is your point, too, of not wanting to fix someone in a relationship. It's like sometimes the point of somebody you date is like, maybe you helped them realize something, and you shouldn't be there for them to fix it. You know what I mean? It's like, that's definitely happened in past relationships where I'm like, oh, this girl that I'm dating is a fucking alcoholic,
Starting point is 01:02:44 and I've had a conversation with her and it's like, you can't keep doing this shit. And maybe she, you know, I have an ex who's got a fucking nice family now, but she was a fucking mess when we were dating, right? And it's like, same thing with me, or as like, I wasn't fucking emotional, you know, I wasn't in therapy, I wasn't. So it's like, maybe that's the thing. It's like, this is as far as this,
Starting point is 01:03:02 because all that damn, that has done damage to their relationship, and you're probably, unless this is something really special here, you probably can't repair that necessarily. That's also a lot. So, do you have to, like, do you want to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, like, he should be mature and get himself in the best position possible
Starting point is 01:03:19 to date somebody, because if he's still showing rage issues while dating someone else, and they're calling a talk show, you know, he needs to get himself, break up with her, He's still showing rage issues while dating someone else and they're calling a talk show. Yeah, he needs to get himself, break up with her, get yourself well. And then once you feel that you have found balance in your life, then go back out and date. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:38 That makes sense to me. So yeah, that's our sage advice, that's our wisdom. And you know, you got to do what's best for you, according to what three comedians have to say. The most unwell, good, and neat. Three people who have not had a good relationship between them. There's not one of us ever had one successful relationship. There's been no rangers here.
Starting point is 01:04:02 No rangers here. No rangers here. No rangers here. Let's hit it. Here's with another one L.D What's up stop coming at you from Florida Currently in a well lifelong battle, but my teeth have really fucking with me I need some advice on how you handled your shit Currently having a financial and emotional meltdown. All right, let me just say, we're going to the one. This man, he's framing her so bad at communicating. They just say too much and say nothing,
Starting point is 01:04:31 or they literally say nothing. This, there's a lot here. My teeth are really fucking with me. Is there a dentist that you could have emailed and said? I need some advice on how you handled your shit, currently having a financial and emotional meltdown. This man is really, there is not a section of his, of like things are going well on us.
Starting point is 01:04:54 You can't check good on any part of his life. Because financial, emotional, and physical, physical fucked up. So how did I deal with it? I went to a fam, I went to my roommates. My old roommates, Godfather was a dentist. He's also Greek, Dr. Stavros' name was also Stavros' and I got to say he didn't do a great job. It took him four tries to get my tooth right. I went the first time, I went the first time, and after I come out of the thing,
Starting point is 01:05:25 they show me the mirror, and I had a little fucked up dolls tooth. It was like a little enraumed. I was just like, I was just like a fucking cabbage patch doll. And I was like, this sucks. And it was literally like a little dolls tooth. It was so weird.
Starting point is 01:05:42 And then I go back the second time, and I'm coming back and forth from New York, by the way. And what's annoying is I got money in the middle of this process, so I could have gotten a good debt, but when I started, I didn't have any money. So I go back and the second time, everything's fucking perfect,
Starting point is 01:05:58 but the tooth is like a little too short. And then this motherfucker goes, maybe we could shave down the rest of your teeth. He tried to literally, he tried to sand down every other tooth in my fucking mouth. And then finally the third time he got it right. But that was the bar, that's the kind of bargain I was looking for. And that you might have to find a dentist like that. Friend of a friend, you got go to your network to find you know
Starting point is 01:06:26 Stabros, I want you to know he said, he's tooth is a good tooth. No, he literally said, the thing he said as soon as I come out of, before he even showed me the mirror the second time, he started with, and look nothing's perfect. It's like, my tooth! We're not talking about a fucking sandwich. You're like nothing in this office You you didn't forget the mayo on my fucking I would have looked at my mirror and I looked at it said how did you get this job? Friend of the family, but I gotta say that this one looks good This one feel he third time was a charm. I tell you I'm so good
Starting point is 01:07:02 This one feel he third time was a charm. And the other time I tell you I better, I'm so good. I'll give you a few more hours. And he just smooshed the first two bad things together and made the third. Yeah, so we're looking good. So I would say that, but I'm also worried about your overall emotional melt,
Starting point is 01:07:15 financial aid, emotional meltdown. Do you have a support system of any kind, my friend? Do you have a couch you can crash on, friends you can open up to, a family, any of that, because it sounds like you're reeling in a lot of ways. And a lifelong battle. Yeah, with what exactly? With whom?
Starting point is 01:07:32 He didn't see it. I'm assuming it's talking about his teeth. I do like the contrast of you and this guy, because I feel like you were thriving when your teeth were fucked up. That is true. The best years of my life were the toothless years. That's the close, I got to a good relationship, I didn't have a tooth.
Starting point is 01:07:46 My teeth, huh? Get rid of my teeth. Yeah. Get rid of your teeth, get rid of your hair. Get rid of your hair. Get rid of your hair. Get rid of your hair. Get rid of my hair.
Starting point is 01:07:55 Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair.
Starting point is 01:08:03 Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. Get rid of my hair. I have to go to get ready. That's okay. That's alright buddy. I feel we got in the wind in this. Yeah, you guys can stay out one more. Yeah, okay, you want to go me and Marie will do one more? You want to get ready for the call? I'm gonna like I'll call a new but while we're doing this. Where's your call? You want to take your call from here? No, no, I can't. That's fine. You could. I guess like, yeah, I guess like, I can't reach my computer. It's up to you. I don't want to like, you know, no brush, but you stay. No worries. Well, not a lifelong battle with me. It's not really, it's not really, it's just a day. But it's up to you for real.
Starting point is 01:08:32 I'm texting right now. What time works? Because I say seven. I'm sorry to do this. What time is it right now, Josh? It's 6.40, red and hour three on the show. And we have like 30 minutes left to record. So let's wrap it in the next.
Starting point is 01:08:44 OK, we'll do one more. Where are you gonna take the call though? With the fuck, you can't get anywhere. Is it a zoom? No, I'll take it right now, I'm saying. I'm filming something. I just wanna step out at the right time. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Yeah, I'm not telling you to take the call on the podcast. I'm not telling you. Yeah. What? He's like this. Hello, howdy-what? All right, fire up another call for us there, Eldis. Hey, stop. So I have a predicament. I was at work and this new dishwasher came from Guatemala.
Starting point is 01:09:24 You only speak Spanish. I speak on Poké. And basically super hot and I'm going on a couple times. I ended up sleeping with him. And then things started to fiddle out a bit. They got a little awkward because they communicate well at work. And he only speaks Spanish. But he'd give me rides home sometimes.
Starting point is 01:09:46 And one time I was like, oh, it's like he ate me. That happened, but he's like a total head pusher. And then one night he'd be like, oh, we're making out. And I was like, I'm just gonna go inside. Basically, he tried like, head pushing. And I was like, no one's over on it. So I left, and then he was like, no one's on. So I left and then he stopped talking to me from there on.
Starting point is 01:10:09 And I'm just nice at work and I try to be a friendly and he's only ever really nice to me if I'm like trying super hard to be funny and nice or I look hot. And so I'm like, should I continue to be nice? I don't know what? I continue to try to like fish worth of You kind of I don't know He's ahead push I think she means like head pusher
Starting point is 01:10:38 Yeah, that's what I'm glad you like and then she said he did it again And it's like he's only nice to me if I'm a hot or really funny Ma'am. Yeah, he don't even speak English Build the walls what Maria's Well, I Is this man's papers in order? I mean his manners aren't in order. I mean, it has manners aren't it, Luna? I think we can just follow your problem and learn some points with your racist uncle on one fell swoopier.
Starting point is 01:11:11 I'm not saying that in the world. I'm also kind of saying that. No, of course, this is so funny. You should at least learn to speak each other's languages. Well, here's the New Zealand Spanish for he needs to a little English because otherwise we're never gonna know him. She does need to learn shit. She, this is so funny, you see the difference. It's like she is emotionally affected by just having good manners to a guy who she hooked up with
Starting point is 01:11:34 and he didn't treat her well a couple times as the other guy was with like the woman who broke up with him after a year and a half. It's like this isn't that fucking deep. You hooked up with someone, you don't know this motherfucker or anything. She said, he'd be giving me rides some time. You don't owe him anything
Starting point is 01:11:49 because he's dropped you off at your house. Yeah, exactly. Not to one thing. Yeah. Thank you, you could say thank you. You can't shut the door. Or maybe leave the door open so he has to reach across.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Yeah, it's like close. I think if you're having sex the first time, it's kind of fun and exciting, but if he's not treating you well, then like girl, like don't talk to him You don't have to be nice to him and fuck off. But also babe Was the sex good? Because nothing about this makes me feel like it was good. Oh, I got the office
Starting point is 01:12:16 She says he's hot. That's it. I've been told okay the harder the man the less good the sex is going. Amen sister That's kind of honestly my whole vibe Yeah This is what guys who are good at sex look like Yeah, unfortunately yes No, I'm not No, I'm just kidding You let those sweet cheeks do the talking Yeah, you don't know this fucking guy's shit, you're good.
Starting point is 01:12:48 It's not, you're a good person, you want to keep everything civil, I get it. But you know, you hooked up with somebody, it doesn't mean you have to go. If he's being addicted to you, we're, and listen, you can just be nice. You don't have to be a mean, you don't have to, you don't have to like escalate things, but you also don't have to go out of your way to Feel like these things are going well. This is something this is also a lesson you need to learn in your life Because this motherfucker is a journey a lot of control over your emotion Yeah, it's just a fucking dishwasher
Starting point is 01:13:17 I'm not knocking you got a job Yeah, it's like you know, it just seems like you could but she's's got to learn this lesson, because if this guy can do it to her, what it really will, girl, get it together. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it's a good answer. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, thank you. It's actually really simple.
Starting point is 01:13:35 Absolutely. All right, well, we'll take one more. Mateo, if you have to go, you got to go. I have no text with Barça. We're good. Hey, this.D. Hey Steve. Hey, stop. This is you had asked him most. You had asked him. Baltimore native living in Chicago now.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Oh, right. Just calling to say, I don't know if I've been feeling a little if you want my move to Chicago. I've been here about a year ago and you know I'm fairly keeping up with my bills and I really getting out to see body the dating game is kind of horrible so I'm just wondering if you had any advice. Thanks for that. I do. Okay, so here's what you're gonna do. You move to Chicago and you probably move to Lincoln Park and you can't afford the apartment or the neighborhood. What you need to do is move to Rogers Park or Edgewater and get an apartment that's affordable and maybe
Starting point is 01:14:37 with a roommate and then you take the red line down and you either go to Lincoln Park or Boys Town or I think it's called North Halls to now I'm not sure what it's called and go have fun and meet people at the bars. Chicago is a very bars town so Friday's Saturday nights are a great opportunity for you to go and meet people. There's also a ton of different clubs and stuff you can join from volleyball to kayaking etc. so if you're you're gonna have friends you're trying to meet people. The tales on the fuck. The alien thing. The tourism board of Chicago. Literally. Ambassador in Chicago.
Starting point is 01:15:07 So you just moved to more affordable neighborhood and just take the red line or you can live off the brown line, the blue line, the orange line, whatever. The brown line was great. I lived off the Polina stop. I literally lived next to it. I'd be like, Polina. And the board's open on the left. I'd go, Polina.
Starting point is 01:15:22 But yeah, you just have to figure out the right neighborhood. And also Chicago is a very neighborhood-y type of city. So even if you move, let's say to Edgewater or you move to, I don't know, you can find other bars and things in your area to meet local people. But there's an ample opportunity to meet people. Absolutely. I also think, here's the other thing, the first year in a new city is tough. Any way you slice it. I remember my first fucking year in New York, the first year in a new city's tough. Anyway, you slice it.
Starting point is 01:15:46 I remember my first fucking year in New York, we were fucking to me and Elders, we lived in this fucking apartment, we were depressed as shit. I was, he had been here a couple of years, Elders had been doing this thing. My ankle was fucked up. That's right, your ankle was fucked up,
Starting point is 01:15:56 I remember that, but you had figured it out. You had done a couple of years of hitting up every five and a half and bedstuy on Tinder. I was thinking, you were a huge diamond. years of hitting up every five and a half in Bedstuy on Tinder. You were on five and a half. Half was in the whole restaurant. Basically a six thing. It was a four. You were a little more acclimated as my point, but I remember my first year, it was like
Starting point is 01:16:21 it was so depressing, new city, it's a hard city, you know what I mean, In Chicago, he's making the jump from Baltimore to Chicago, so we can kind of help him on either side of this. I remember it was like moving from Baltimore a very, my rent was $300 before I moved to New York. And it's a small city. So it's like, you know, you find your scene, you find your people and it's pretty simple, right? It's affordable and it's like socially pretty straight forward.
Starting point is 01:16:45 To move from Baltimore to Chicago and New York to fucking huge cities, there's gonna be some fucking growing pains, you're gonna have to figure it out. Luckily we have the fucking. The ambassador. Yeah, the aldermen, he was the aldermen. The Rogers Park Aldermen or wherever the fucking over here.
Starting point is 01:17:01 The mayor of Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Rogers Park is not, it's well lesbian snow. Yeah. There's a The mayor of Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Roger Parks, now it's well less being snow. Yeah, there's a creep on this, there's cat cafes. So listen to fucking Mateo, but also you're gonna, there's gonna be a growing painter's gonna be an adjustment period. What he's saying is very good, find your neighborhood,
Starting point is 01:17:19 find your little friends. So during the summer, go to the beach, there's fair and fests every single, there's Greek fest. There's tons of different fest all over. There Chicago's a great great the only time it's hard in Chicago is January and February Yeah, because it's just brutal and you're about to hit that you're about to hit your first Chicago January February that's gonna be But I also say this boom, so I'm not from neither But when it comes to meeting people I feel like I'm pretty good at that but when I was in
Starting point is 01:17:49 Realtime so stunning. Yeah, and I like I do crowd work in real life There's no difference between her on stage and me off stage Yeah, my friend pointed it out and I was like that is how I like me to waiters in restaurants Yeah, yeah, where areers and restaurants. Anyway, yeah, um Airbnb has this thing called experiences where you can sponsored by Airbnb experiences. What the fuck is this? I'm gonna be sponsored by Airbnb and Balenciaga. Now that we're discussing it. I know, the edit this out of, this bleep that out. No free fucking lunch, you motherfuckers.
Starting point is 01:18:35 You want to fucking advertise the Stavis world, you a fucking email StavvyBabyEnterprisesGmail.com and come correct with the offer later here. I'm gonna stop these baby, get your prizes. The official business email. Anyway, boom, boom, boom. This is what I'm saying. They have these experiences and it'll be like, um,
Starting point is 01:18:52 bar crawl with natives or like, you know what I'm saying? Like go on Airbnb for Chicago and look up some experiences and do cool young people shit. Just do something. And understand this is a general rule. You know, he's probably pretty young. He moved from Baltimore to Chicago. Like, you're gonna fuck it.
Starting point is 01:19:10 There's gonna be brutal shit in your life. You're gonna take a lot of L's. And the more you fail, the more you embarrass yourself, the more you try and make connections. And you don't, that gets you closer to the time you actually do. That gets you closer to actually meeting someone, actually meeting a group of friends.
Starting point is 01:19:24 So you just gotta put yourself out there yet, I see my fucking countryman. It's got to be one cool person and then they'll introduce you to them. Yeah. And Chicago's such a great city. It is a great city. Really. You've got to give it a chance because I think Chicago, different than New York, is there's a lot more local Chicagoans living in Chicago. Yeah. So it's people who already have lives that are established there. So I'm gonna air me and be things a great yeah. I don't people who already have lives that are established there so I think the Airbnb thing is a great Yeah, I don't even know they did that. All right, stop with the ad You're fucking
Starting point is 01:20:03 All of these are getting kicked out here, pants, pants, and stuff. Yeah, he he. F***ing. Anyway, let me put my Adidas jacket back on. We do want an Adidas sponsorship, but that we can leave in eldest. Yeah, I'm sure. So good luck, buddy.
Starting point is 01:20:16 And just stay the course. You'll be, and you also have to be a drunk in Chicago. I feel like everyone gets drunk. I did forget how much of a drinking. It's a crazy drink. It's a crazy drink. And Chicago's like, woo! With a drink and drink and drink. No, you'll be good to go.
Starting point is 01:20:31 You'll be sucking on some hefty Midwestern titties and no-time. And be eating at the Golden Nugget. Yeah. I love this life for you, man. We believe in you. I think that's going to do for us. Our boy has to take his little call here.
Starting point is 01:20:44 We say, thank you guys Thank you, too for doing the show. Thank you. If God is so what a wonderful. I'm so proud of you stop Thank you, buddy. Come back anytime guys. We'd love to have you anything you want to plug anything you want Yeah, you're not coming back Three days I had a panty that I had a... I had a sleezing water. Thank you, thank you for making the pilgrimage. Oh, this is come out. Probably like January, early January.
Starting point is 01:21:17 Okay, well, I have my special, the advice, special out on YouTube. Go watch that show. Fun, I also just give poor advice to a bunch of people. And then on the road, you can see me. Go see my boy all over the fucking place. Yeah, go to Mateo Lane. Just go to Mateo Lane comedy.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll actually be in Chicago at the end of January.
Starting point is 01:21:41 Look at that. Do some shows. Come see me, I'm really nice. Where are you gonna be? Busy. Look at that. Do with some shows. Come see me. I'm really nice. Where are you going to be? The hideout, I think. Okay. Yeah, so I'm doing it. It's like a festival weekend. Nice. Go see Marie, go see Mateo. They're both very
Starting point is 01:21:54 funny to my favorites. Go see us on the road. We're coming. Every now and then this will be all over the fucking place. Big theater tour coming up. Stavvy.biz by your tickets. By the calendar, we should have been fucking plugging the calendar earlier. We'll add that.
Starting point is 01:22:09 That's the add we should have done. Yeah, yeah. The calendar brought to you by **** **** Oh, getting **** What's you buy?
Starting point is 01:22:19 What's the, what's the therapy? **** Yeah. Um, so yeah, go fucking goes do that. What's the therapy? Yeah So yeah go fucking goes do that and we will be back 904 800 stop leave your questions and we'll be back next week See you then guys I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem.
Starting point is 01:22:59 Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area
Starting point is 01:23:33 to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. or justification, get an Airbnb.

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