Stavvy's World - Matteo Lane

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Matteo Lane returns to Stavvy's World to recap Paris Fashion Week, talk about meeting Tyra Banks, what it was like to get a standing ovation from Kodak Black and his baby, and debate an age-old question (Italy or Greece?). Matteo and Stav help callers including a guy wondering if he should double down on a thirsty DM that was left on read, and a 24-year-old who needs help coping with his burgeoning baldness.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld for exclusive Patreon-only episodes.Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get some advice!

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Welcome everybody back to Stabby's World. 904 800, stop, call in. If you need us to help you solve all your life's problems, we have our first repeat guest, my pal, one of my best friends and, you know what, I'm gonna take off the in comedy, Mateo. Just one of my best boys. That's high praise. You know, it's funny because when you meet someone through comedy, you're like, oh yeah, I know them through comedy.

And it's like, if you look at the years, it's like, oh, I've known Mateo almost a decade. Yeah. We've been in this very apartment. We've seen each other's penis as probably six years ago, seven years ago. Yeah, that's what, seven years ago. Seven years ago, yeah.

Good for us. We've gone through so many different, so many different of my looks. No mustache, completely bald. Yeah, you Good for us. We've gone through so many different, so many different of my looks. No mustache, completely bald. Yeah, you've gone through. I've almost remained the same Mario character. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm Luigi.

Traditional. I'm the character they have to keep, you know, they got to make new action figures of me. I have more hair. Classic, that's right. More hair, which is nice. More hair, more Botox. Yeah.

That's pretty much what I have. What would happen if hair mo-bo-bo-tox. That's what that is. That's pretty much what I have. What would happen if me and L just got bo-tox, you think? You guys would look very great. You think we'd look good. You have good skin. We talked about this on the plane that you have. Like, you were like the one of the,

one of the things that God has done for me. The only thing, the only solid God did. My, the rest of my body, big mess. You are not a big mess. It's great. You were so fashionable and parrots. Thank you. That's right.

And we had to have Mateo back, of course, because we need to do a recap of that I was literally, both of us were literally fashion week models. And I wanted to talk about it with somebody that was there in Paris. Shout out to kids super. He had a bunch of comedians out there and it just feels like crazy to just do that. Yeah, and not, you know, and talk about it. At least mention it a little bit on the part. Of course we'll get to your questions, you know, we'll help, we'll help some in cells. You were great. You and Marie were so great on the first episode you guys were on. I was when Marie is anywhere. is anywhere, I'm just, I'm like so entertained.

Yeah, she's like, oh, I should say something. Yeah, but I'm like, I fucking love her. Marie makes me laugh so hard. It's true, and it's hard, it's, it was a very, we interrogated Marie, we told her to, you know, start getting flown out instead of paying for her own vacations. It was a, it was a more Marie centric, but now we get the focus on you.

We get so boring. You're not boring at all. You're hilarious. Mateo is one of the most elders, I don't know if you know there's how many skills Mateo has is so annoying. You can fucking, he's like, he can paint. Like, he just every time he can sing, he can do comedy. I've seen the cooking videos.

The cooking videos, he's jacked. Good've seen the cooking videos. The cooking videos, his jacks. Good looking. Good penis, by the way, folks. I saw it through the corner of my eye a couple times. Nice, nice piece on this man. Right here, he's got it all. Thanks. I have a talent.

He's a talent. I know plenty of little peen to talent. I'm sure you do. I don't think so. Sorry, schooza. I just fiat shit. That is interesting that you have so much a national pride that you pretend

that everyone has a big penis in Italy. All the dicks I've encountered in Italy, they're great. I'm interested. If anyone's the expert here, well, that's true, that's true. But no, thanks, that's nice of you. Do you think itself selects for the guys who are enough confidence to approach you in Italy,

have large strong confidence in Italy. That's true. It doesn't matter what they look like or what they do. They all have the same attitude. It is the most unnermed confidence that people have had. They're like, look around, look what we do. We build this. It's like Greeks like that too,

where they have so much unnered confidence because of how successful we were 4,000 years ago. Like, Italy and Greece both have been nothing but like a mess for the last hundred years. Italy were literally like, you know who's cool Hitler? We're gonna partner up with him. You guys have that added element to it. It's like, Grease, you hear Mike Vecchio's joke about that? No, no, no. He's like, everyone forgets about please Mike Vecchio and

please follow me. Yeah. Everyone forgets that Italy was a part of, you know, Hitler's side. He's like, but I think we're forgiven because of our food. People are like, hey, weren't you guys on the other side? Yeah, but look at this chicken cutch-it-tool. All right. That is true. Like, we're forgiven. Japan too. Sushi. Come on. I'm we're all in. I think with Italians too too, I would notice when we were in Paris, I'm used to going, you're used to Greece, I'm used to Italy. They are sort of comparable in Europe as chaos.

And absolute chaos, parking on the sidewalk. Cars in every direction. Absolutely. And there's no distinct, nothing distinguishes the difference between a sidewalk and a street. No, Mount Rhodes, I don't know if Italy is like this, Greece, everyone's driving drunk a shit.

Everyone's drunk, and everyone's on these winding roads, not even the thought of a guardrail. Not at all. And no mirror. No mirror, no nothing. They'll honk when they're coming around the corner fast. That's the only safety measure. And literally, I knew drunk 14-year-olds that would drive

like mopeds up these things at like 2 a.m. And it's like, this is just, you guys aren't scared? I guess when you've lived in a culture that old, Italy and Greece, it's like, what's life? What's life? Our life is completely expendable. I couldn't get over the, like, we, and we'll get to this second,

but just the fact that we were walking around Paris, I'm so used to Italy, I was texting this guy that I was briefed dating, he was Parisian and I said, your streets are like everything is so Oregon really and he goes, well, yeah, you're Italian. Yeah I think you guys are a mess. It's so weird how different Europe Really isn't how close everything is yeah, like I always this idea because again, all I did was go to Greece, and then you look at a map and you see how close

London and England, and like I've been reading a lot of medieval history shit just at a... I don't know. I like the read shit that's gonna put me to bed honestly. So I picked it because I thought it'd be boring and then I kinda got into it. They were also drunk all the time. Everyone's drunk as hell,

everyone lived in a little hut with their fucking donkey. Yeah, literally indoors the animals and like, but it's so interesting to me that like most of European history, French and English in particular, is King's just taking turns taking lands from each other because they're right next door to each other. And it was like, how can they be so different? How can these cultures be so different when they're this, they're like a not hair away from each other. Yeah, it doesn't matter. And everything is completely, it sounds like it's 100%. It's the same like, you know, K.I.

It's everything is the same. France, France has that snooty. Yeah. The snootyness that they never really got over, they still look down on England for like, like the first, the first Kings of England spoke French and just looked at the English as they're dumb, basically like they're slaves,

they're like we're gonna take, we're gonna make these dumb British like, you know, farm for us while we, you know, get silks and linens and all that kind of shit and have gay sex in our palaces. Well, that part I can, yeah, that sounds pretty good, outpound. Still can gay sex. I don't know.. Yeah, that sounds pretty good, I'm proud. Still can gain sex. I don't know.

But the French somehow have maintained that type of superiority. It's in the sound of the language. It's crazy. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I know, know, I know, I know, know, I know, know, I know, I know, know a language dictates a lot of how a society like cultural mannerisms. Does that make any sense? It does.

You know, because there is like, if you think about Italy, it's very expressive, it's very loose, it's very, you know, so the vibe of Italy is so much different than that. Germany is the best example of this, right? Oh my God, they're just, it's like living in a fridge. Yeah. So the opposite of Mediterranean.

It's crazy. And everything is like loud and like, it feels like you're getting yelled at. You're either getting yelled, but certainly, sternly, not like with passion. Yeah. Like you've messed up at your job. Not like I just call you cheating. Like does it difference between,

um, my hair is half-biting a fray, I've had a dick. And someone being like, Shingor, Maura pre, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking Spanish, I was like, I,or, Maura prehi, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking for Spanish,

I was like, Oh no, the mother, but that. Every Italian man is almost a tears whenever they have a, when they have like a request of you. It's like they can be brought to tears so easily. Yeah. From beauty or from a minor annoyance

or just needing, you know, needing help. But, can I tell you how I got the invite to Paris? Cause I was a late, I was the date before. And I didn't I got the invite to Paris because I was a late I was the day You were and I didn't want to tell this to you because you show I replaced Mike Tyson So That's a Mike Tyson was supposed to be there. I didn't even know that dude. Holy I wouldn't that's what everyone said Wow, you're right. Yeah, well most people do think of me when they can't get Mike Tyson

Yeah, yeah, but I was like, well, most people do think of me when they can't get Mike Tyson. But I'm like, Catholic Griffith. I'm like, when back in the day, she's like, I have a dress ready to go. If someone drops out and Hollywood squares, I'm in. Like, I don't give a shit. A free flight to Paris on a private jet. I was literally in the Puma jet.

The V, a $60 million jet. Beyonce has been on the jet. Which there's something humbling knowing that Beyonce pissed on that toy. They were sure, Beyonce. My ass cheeks and Beyonce's ass cheeks were on the jet, which there's something humbling knowing that Beyonce pissed on that toilet. They did, sure, Beyonce asked, my ass cheeks and Beyonce's ass cheeks were on the same toilet. Now I was doing a little more damage if I had to guess. After a whole weekend of eating baggets and butter,

I had seven croissants. So much steak. I feel like we had steak, yeah. Yeah, it was wild. I'm not a big steak guy. I don't know why it ordered us to take on our way there. I'm a big steak guy and it was good. But it did definitely, it definitely fucked me up for the rest of the trip. Elders could have gone too. I offered Elders to come, but he had to be with his girlfriend on the one week off.

He got a first-erica. Yeah, take my only vacation for over a year. That's my girlfriend. Wow. Because you're the romantic city of Paris with my friend, Stav here. We had a great time. It looked awesome. Benny Butt cheeks replaced you, shout out to everybody.

If you guys don't know, Ben O'Brien, another member of the creative director of Stavvy Baby Enterprises, he came, we had a great crew. You know, me, you, Ben, Santino, Vaughn. Theo Vaughn was on the jet with us. That was great. There was a four of us sitting there sharing a steak.

It was awesome. Chating. It was insane. It truly was insane. And part of me was like, damn, private jets are so bad for the world. And then I was like, wow, they're going to take the jet with or without me. But also, what is it? What is it?

If I'm not on it, you know. Having kids is bad for the world. That's true. I'm not gonna have kids, so let me have this one private jet. I love the son of a bitch. But yeah, I would. Yeah, you guys just get the smoke,

they're just like polluting. Imagine we get smoke on that plane. I mean, when I leave this planet, I'm leaving a carbon fingerprint, not a footprint. But I will say, I was in the middle of hooking up with this Brazilian guy. And we're like, shirts are coming off. And my phone is buzzing.

Like, and I'm like, oh my God, and I could tell it was a text, like, is someone dying? I was like, a pair of dona, man. I have to look at my phone. And it was Mark, who works for Mark Gagol. Gagol, I don't know how to say anything French. I don't either.

Saying, can you go to Paris tomorrow? There'll be a flight that takes you. It's a private jet. It's where fashion shows for kids who were Louis Vuitton. And I was like, what is this witchcraft? I was like, I literally said, I'll call you back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I had sex.

I have some cock to suck, pal. I did. I did. And I respect them, Matilda. Yeah, I mean, priorities, so. But then I was like, well, they want me. So, you know, so I called him and I respect that, Mattel. Yeah, I mean, priorities. But then I was like, well, they want me. So, you know, so I called him and he was like, St. Tina was coming in, St. Tina was at the seller.

So I went down to the seller and I was like, are you going? He's like, yeah, man, go. So I was like, okay, I'll go. And then thank God you were like, get your agent involved, because I was gonna try to do it myself. I was like, okay, I'll get my agent.

No, you're still come drunk. You can't be doing, you can't be drunk. You can't be doing emails at a time like that. No, you're still, you're still cum drunk, you can't be doing, you can't be doing emails at a time like that. No, especially because my fingers will stick to the keyboard. So good for you for applying to any business with a hard penis.

There's no way I'm so useless. I'm like, I don't care. I need to bust first before I have any discussion, whatsoever. I'm so used to it, I'm like, hold on a second. Yeah. I do like that, I don't feel like you've like, whole honestly. Yeah. I do like that. I don't feel like you've ever hooked up with any man

that I know of that does not have, that is even an American citizen. This one was definitely not. No, I don't have them. All my boyfriend's are looking for green cards. And I'm happy to give it to you. This is it right now. Come find me, baby.

Green card marriage. No, that's the name of my book. Yeah, that would be nice. A green card marriage. No. That's what the name of my book. Yeah, that would be nice. A green card marriage. But it was awesome. I mean, if a private jet takes you to, I actually have a funny story. I felt asleep.

It was great. We had beds over there. Me and Andrew St. Tina shared a bed, which was all so gay and so cute. We were dating. And then I were dating. You were dating for that for those two days. It was really cute.

We walked, we get to Paris and then we're in this car and it's so funny because when you fly international usually it feels like you're in a national. Now you get off, everything's in French, you have to go through customs. Like there's kind of the adjustment. But this was just like a car to a plane. No surprise you're looking at our passport.

She's like, all right, you're good. Yeah, B&B new. And then we're like, oh, we're in Paris right now. And then, then we were in the car, we're like, they're like the stars in the car. I was like, do you know how come on, the blue is a guy? And the car had these weird light up little,

and I was so delusional. I thought I was like a fever dream. Like, I'm Paris with the interesting, you know, Theo Vaughan and Stavros, like, with stars in a car, like, man, it was fucking. Some Moroccan guy driving us silently. It was all, you know, Theo Vaughan and Stop roast like with stars in a car like man It was fucking the Moroccan guy driving us silently. It was all he hated us He definitely did then we had a big breakfast and tried to stay up. I stayed up the whole day We were only there we literally got there Friday. Yeah, and we left Sunday

The show was and so we just kind of stayed up all Friday and then the show happened Saturday and that was crazy. There's no, the fitting, of course, we really go get fitting. Yeah, how was your fitting? I wanna hear about like, what's in there? Yeah, it was interesting because I will say this, shout out to kids super for having us,

but the whole fashion and he was very, he wanted to have me, but it was so funny because I talked to his name's Colm and we like FaceTimed and he was very, he wanted to have me, but it was so funny because I talked to Cos' name's Colm, and we like, FaceTimed, and he was like, oh dude, I just saw your measurements. And he was like, he was like, where do you buy clothes? And it's like, you asked me, man. You asked me to be in this fucking thing.

Who says that? Where do you buy clothes? He was like, where do they even manufacture clothes? As if America is in the fattest city in the history of existence? But yeah, it was so funny, because we were doing the, we were doing the,

the, we were doing the fitting and they literally had to make, he just straight up didn't have track suits that were big enough for me. So his extra large, he had to add a little bit of a medium to finish my track suit.

So if you look at the back of the tracks and jagged, it's like you can clearly see, there were two tags. There was an extra large and a medium next to it. Shout out to Lucy, the girl that she was sewing and she was making clothes. That was another cool thing about going to fat. Cause like obviously, what the fuck do we know about fashion? Nothing.

It was cool though, I gotta say, you felt awesome. Cause it's just like, you're the coolest person there. All these hot girls are tending to you constantly. They're like, oh, does this look good? They're snipping like the small, you're close, have to look perfect. They're doing your makeup. Your hair, your makeup.

Yeah, a French girl who could barely speak English gave me a haircut. She trimmed my split ends before it happened. And I was like, this fucking rock dude. When I got my fitting, I was the last one to get fitted. So everyone had gone before me. I walk in and I have no idea who anybody is and he goes, we've been waiting for you all day.

And I go, what do you mean? And then I saw their board with like everyone's pictures. And mine was, you know, all my shirtless pictures. Like, we're just waiting to see if you actually looked like this. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, here I am. waiting to see if you actually looked like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, here I am. And then there's that guy that like, the stylist. I don't really know what, like everyone sort of has a title,

but whatever. So he, you kept like, it was like a movie. He would like, it was cool, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm like, all right. And then at one point, he goes, cause they're all straight, which was shocking. He goes, did you know that Tyra Banks invented America's next top model?

And I go, do you think I turned gay yesterday? Yeah. Well, that was a big one. Like so at my fitting, Tyra was like right before me. And that, that's like this is a fever dream. Like what was he look? He looks so cute.

Me and Santino. We are a cool little crew. But I was also, it was also funny cause I even even did the joke i was like this is crazy because i used to beat off to america's next top model it to be fair to be respectful to tira it was not most it was not to her because she was the host of the office and a judge but they met yet but they made those bitches do some wild shit. That show was so insane.

First of all, I mean, they had an episode where these girls all weigh 20 pounds. And then Tyra puts all of them in those giant wind tunnel machines. And she's like, you have to, they have no training. They're like, okay, you have to not only float, but while winds are coming at you at 130 miles an hour, be sexy.

So these like frail women are just flying around. They can barely keep their bodies and Tyra's like, fashion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is insane. And they all just went right back to being baristas. The second hashtag was over. What time I saw one of them in a chili's commercial post?

And my instinct, I first thought was like, at least she's working. Yes, she's working. But Tyra, I have to say, was the easiest, nicest person to talk to, work with. It was awesome. She was on time, she had everything. I would have assumed she would have been like a huge bitch.

You know, you just, you just not, not because of her, but because it's like insanely famous, like hot model, like, you know, retire, come out of retirement, hasn't been the fashion week, like, she's doing all this other shit. I just would assume she would have felt rightfully better than us.

And she is better than us. And she is, but you know, absolutely that's what I mean. Like, and she would have been like polite, but like completely kept herself, but she was like, great, good. Couple great chats. Yes, it was wild. We were all sitting there in the lobby

and ready to go to the after party, and she comes up, I think with her husband, and she was like, guys, I just went to a five guys. She's like, I got a chocolate shake with the bacon bits and it was so good. And I was like, who are you? Shut up, Tatar.

It made me really want to get five guys. I just love that that. But instead we went to the after party. Think about that. And truly the fashion world and the comedy world, they are no overlaps. We're all the comics are back there. We're in one of the biggest fashion shows.

The theater only fit 1,000 people. people six thousand people were trying to get in they blocked the street a girl broke her arm trying to get in The police were called black was there a couple NFL players I'm like fuck what joke am I gonna I need to do three? I'm gonna start with the beating Lounds we just let you know we made one of the clothes the clothes work Honestly, I told them I want that. I want that jacket. I also need that Where's my track? You made it for me motherfucker? Not a moment. If you're listening there is no one fatter that you made it specifically for my fat body I deserve the jacket Give me the half medium half XL

body. I deserve the jacket. Give me the half-medium half-exel. But it was so it was very interesting to watch those two-world mix because when we went out there the fashion world didn't even know really what to make of us. We were like we came out with jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got a standing ovation from Kodak Black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the singing. I did because. Well, they said to me like, you sing, can you sing, can you sing? And I was like, I wasn't planning on it, but I can. So I mean, that's an old joke. I mean, that's like way back in the day. But I was like, whatever, it's a theater, it's Paris.

No one knows who the shit I am. I'll just go sing. So as I'm like, that's interesting. But it was, I mean, I was, I was, I was such a cool experience and I didn't realize how much I really enjoyed being dressed up in weird fun clothing and that world. It is a very intoxicating world. Yeah, I really, it really truly was.

It was like, and I mean, I guess it's different because truly for me, the thing was like, all these hot women are like pampering you. So there was definitely like an element like, there wasn't enough gays, I was really upset about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There really was not enough gays back then. You should have been a bunch of twinks for you.

I'm not someone to twinks, you know what I mean? Like a muscle guy. A muscle guy's doing makeup and shit. Of course they're out there doing hair, makeup, I'm sorry. What is this? We're not. But they're lifting weights. They are a bunch of things. I'm sorry. What is this? We're not. We're not.

But they're lifting weights. They are. They have time. I was like, this is such a tacky joke, but I was like years ago, I was like, I was like, Hey, man, look the most athletic, but we really, we've walked into a gym with quintilator in between a baseball and a football. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we look.

But there was one guy who was interviewing us. I think he was from Spain. The thing I love about France and Paris is, is and Paris is, if you speak a bunch of languages, everyone's gonna speak something. And so he was gay, he was like, we have any big fans of you in Spain. And I was like, are you hitting on me right now? Because you're the only gay I've talked to in the past two days. It was wild how there weren't more gay dudes.

I was kind of upset about it. I was hoping. Yeah. I was not of upset about it. It was like, I was, look, I was hoping. I was hoping. Yeah. I was not Grindr. Yeah, how'd it go? Nothing. Um, grise, salute.

Well, everyone's a salute in French, but it keeps, by, I, a little dyslexic, I look at it, I keep thinking, everyone's just calling me a slut. Like, how do they know me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. These strangers have been like, you slut. Like, I'm interested.

I'm interested. In Europe, are they slut? Which, the Grindr culture in Europe? The Grindr is here everywhere, but it's a different language. I see. Because here, you'd literally, it's like, oh, I'm at the same grocery store with this guy. Maybe I'll suck his dick in the frozen food aisle.

Yeah. So that's a shame, because you didn't get sucked off or suck anyone off for a- I was talking to this one guy who was very handsome, and he was working in a bar, and he's like, like, get off at 4.30 in the morning, and he's like, we're flying the next day. Like, I think we got home at 3.30. I was like, I was was working in a bar, and he's like, well, I get off at 4.30 in the morning, I'm like, we're flying the next day. Like, I think we got home at 3.30.

I was like, I was so tired of stoppers, and I got a little high at the after party, and then I got the world's worst ravioli at 7.24 hour. Yeah. I mean, you know, Santina, we truly ended the night like comics, because it was like, Roddy Rich and Kodak-Bach were gonna be at the after party,

but it was like 3 a.m. And they, it wasn't even a hint of them being there at the after party, but it was like 3 a.m. and they, it wasn't even a hint of them being there. I think they probably played it like five or something. Yeah. And we were like, we're fucking leaving, we're tired. And we literally ended the night at a diner. I had a fucking chicken, me and Santina had chicken sandwiches

and you had ravioli. And we were just fucking hanging out. It was high that cheese was going on. There was like a guy that came up to you. Oh my God, I forgot about that. And I use Matteo Lane and San Francisco's. Where can we get 24 hour food? I was like, my friends, where can we eat around here?

Not even acknowledging him. No, hello. Just thumb is bow looked up. Yeah, hey, where can we get food? He's like, um, they have to listen to us. That's a good thing, girl. That guy was so taken aback, but I was like, Mateo's not gonna fuck you.

I need a sandwich. Let's get the fucking work, pal. And I was like, wow. Yeah. But I mean, I, I, a lot of times, the situations, like comics, you work, especially at our stage in our career, were thrown a couple really cool bones. And you can, but this one was like, one was like, I appreciated every second of it. I was like the

flight, the hotel, the croissants, and then our little walk, you me, Ben, and Andrew, we went to the actual tower. It was so cute. It was really adorable. Shout out to, we got to go back. If you need more models folks, me and Mateo, we're here. We're available. We're ready to go. We have a portfolio together. We do. We're in Vogue. So we have been in Vogue.

We're in Vogue. Who do I send your send? We need to do a video and we should bring our guys of me, with you in Italy, and then me with you in Greece. 100%. Because I think that that would be you. 100%. I can't believe you've not been to Italy before.

I know. It's, I mean, I'm sure you feel it. Well, I do. I well I do I know you feel the same way where it's like look I get's right there But I'm in Greece. I know that's my family's here like I want to next your day in Greece I don't want to go to Greece where they speak Italian right parts of the parts that would go to are like you know Although I will say I do really want to see Rome But the same that's how I think this to where it's like all the history all the shit around there But I gotta go to Italy. I want want to see Rome, but the same, that's how Athens is too, where it's like, all the history, all the shit around there, but I gotta go to Italy, I wanna go see Rome. It's so, one thing that is really interesting to me

is how the food is so different, like there is not a hint of, like, yeah, we have spaghetti, like, if anything, the Greek spaghetti stuff is like, it's all seafood based, like it's like, you know, they do like, it's all seafood based, it's like, you know, they do like a shrimp or like a seafood, they do a real good seafood, sort of just spaghetti, they call it,

a stack o macarona, the lobster, macaronia, macaronia is lobster, a stack ose. Okay, we say aragosta. Aragosta. Lapsar tail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we don't have like, there's no, like the pizza in Greece is horrendous.

And it's so funny where you're like, because what it is is like, it's the pizza in Greece, they don't just go, let me go next door and see what they're doing. It's Italian food, like processed through American mass culture. Two Greeks. Two back to Greece.

Damn. So it's like, you see, you see, literally I've seen like, shitty bread with like a weird Greek specific cheese and like tomato sauce, that they, like, unflaver tomato sauce, or you'll get like shitty domino knockoffs, like that level of like pizza. It's truly fucking crazy. The influence with, you know, the Mediterranean

usually shares food, rice, hummus, pita, you know, whatever. But Italy for some reason, it is in the center of the Mediterranean Sea and it covers the North and the South of it. And it has almost zero, I mean, it does have influence like in Sicily that eat couscous because of North Africa or like there's from the, because Arabs have influence like in Sicily, they eat couscous because of North Africa,

or like there's from the, because Arabs used to live in Sicily, so there's a lot of like, and aren't out in Chine and the rice and stuff. But generally speaking, it's like, what other country eats pasta five days a week? It's fucking wild. Like that never occurred.

Again, that's what always blows my mind looking at Europe, it's like, wow. And also just Italy and Greece are so close, and in ancient times, it's like, it's been the same country. Same country. It was like, it was like, you know, Greece are so close. And in ancient times, it's like, it's been the same country. Same country. It was like, it was like, you know, it was called Magna Gracea at first,

and then once it became the Roman Empire. And then what's interesting to me is like Greeks, for a while, like the Greek identity based on ancient Greece is so fake. Like even in ancient Greece, everyone considered themselves a member of their city, not of Greece, right? They were Greeks, but they were like, you know, whatever.

That's Italy, the kingdom of Naples, it's Italy, yeah. And so funny that these weird identities, because Greek food, like yeah, it's like you think of the skewers, you think it's like, you think, you think, you know, you think all that stuff, it's all grilled and it's like fresh

and it's like potatoes, not really no pasta. 11 potatoes. So it's like, it's just so fucking weird that we're so close to each other. We gotta go do it, we gotta do that. We gotta also do Baltimore and Chicago. Oh, every fancy. We gotta do the American version

and then the fucking international version. I would love Baltimore pizza. Yeah, I'll take it to get crabs, pal. But they say, I've had crabs or I've had those. Um, the worst was Skatees. pal, but they say I've had a crab's are I've had those um the the worst was skabies You went back in time and fucked the pirate He put his peg leg in your ass Brock suckers there

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I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding

for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around. And remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. A Brazilian pirate, huh? That wouldn't leg looks different. It's the leg is circumcised. The leg bottom is just circumcised.

But I will say like the Greeks and Talies, every time I meet Greek people, they always say, Winifatul Nara, same face, same race. There's a lot of cultural similarities. And I think they did this survey, like what's the closest culture to Italian culture and the top three was Greek and then Mexican. And so, you know, it's like, that sort of like... Well, I know Greek history, like whatever, but it's like, you guys must've also been...

The Ottoman Empire must've been in Italy too, right? Or no, do you know? I don't know. You don't know. I don't know. I don't know about Rome is that it was like, well, the story they say in Italy is you'll see like Rames Remus, like two kids sucking on the wolf. So there's two kids sucking on a wolf all over Rome.

It's kind of jarring. Oh really, they have that imagery. Every Rami listen to rumors. Oh my God, it's like on relief paintings and stuff like that. But yeah, the Romans basically enslaved the Greeks to do all of their work, all their art, all their structure, all of the architecture. They stole our whole flow.

They did. We stole everything that you guys did, and then we had, it was like, you guys were like a Nokia, and then we were like the iPhone. Let's relax with that. I don't know about all that. I would say that we kinda that we were the iPhone one.

Yeah, you guys were like, it's new and you just added a button, you know what I mean? We had the aqueducts, which were kind of whole. But no, the Greek history, to me, is more interesting. Not that Italian history is not interesting. I should look into more Italian history. Way more fertile. Yeah. I just, because I I should look in the more Italian history. Way more fertile.

Yeah, I just, because I'm wondering, because it's like, it's so clear that the Greek, the influences were, you see the Turkish in the like Middle Eastern influences in our food, it's like a spin. It's like, we really, It's like Greeks don't like to hear that. Huh?

Greeks don't like hearing that. I know, but that's, I know, they hate hearing it, but it is reality. Yeah, yeah. And if you think, because like, the Greek, actually, I know. They hate hearing it, but it is reality. Yeah, yeah. And if you think, because the Greek, actually, when you look at traditional Greek dishes, like a pasticio,

it's like, there is some macaroni stuff, or like, there is some like casserole stuff, but it's all like a villager, and there is more tomato food-based stuff. So you see the influences in like, the like, almost villager northern cuisine, where it's like, you can see see where it's like yours is tomato and Pasta is like tomato and like vegetable based stuff, but I just wonder where the you know how the Turks must have not

Fuck your ass is the way they fucked ours. Well, it was the Arabs Ruled Sicily in southern Italy for a while and then it was the Spanish and then I think it was the then the Italians So it's been, you know, a little more, I think, in common with Greece. It has way more in common with Greece for sure. Yeah, because real in life, the way that it feels, the, like, it looks similar. Is this interesting to your listener? Fuck them. I hope it's interesting.

They'll take it. But Paris was great. I had such a good time. I loved it. I loved eating croissants and speaking French. It was great. It was just a good time. What was your first? How about this so we'll keep getting to know you more? What was your first time in Europe? When was the first time you went? I was 15. Okay, I went to go visit Sicily. I went to go to the family and now were you were you a closeted Michael's employee at the time? I was very gay. you a closeted Michael's employee at the time? I was very gay.

Yeah, I'm gay. But luckily they can't detect it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just look like any guy in Italy. I just look like any guy. You look so. You look like Capri's. I was.

I was, I was. I was. They were at that time. They were right. I remember my cousin was wearing Capri's. Oh my god, that's so funny. You said that. And I thought it was so cool.

I was like, oh my god, I'm in Capri's. I'm like, maybe I'm, I'm in Capri, I'm like, that's it. Maybe I'm not, yeah, I'm just Italian. That was like, that was literally my like, like, my trying to come to terms with it. It's like, I'm just Italian. Yeah, that's so funny.

That's so funny. Wow, you really read my mind. Yeah. Wow, this got dark. That's so, so you were not, but you were like, you were still just, you had, you were still closet and you were like, yeah, still just, you were still closeted and you were like, yeah, this is the culture. I think I'm coming out to those 18.

And then even then, we have family friends in Messina. And I would say with them, because my family lives in the middle of Sicily in a town called Montevago, which is north of Agrijento, which actually, Agrijento is very interesting. They have Greek Parthenons from Greek settlements before Athens. And it's fascinating to go there and see them

because they're really well-studied. I gotta go to, that's how I'll start, Sicily. Here you should start with Rome. Start with Rome. You need to start with Rome. You're right. But anyways, so I would go stay with family friends in Messina because it's like beaches and young kids

and stuff. And I remember like, everything looked so gay, but it's not gay. Like, you could go to the beach, everyone's in a speedo doing the YMCA dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, there's no irony. Guys are kissing each other on the cheek.

Yeah. But if you said you're gay, they would beat the fuck out of you. Oh, you'd go missing. You'd go missing. You'd go missing. How dare you. Now they don't care. I mean, now if I'm like, you know,

with all my friends and stuff in Italy, no one gives a shit now, but you know. I mean, now if I'm like with all my friends and stuff in Italy, no one gives a shit now. But you know, I mean, since they still, depends on who he's talking to. But like in Rome, it's like a modern city. Yeah. But yeah, the first time I went to Europe, I was 15. I loved it.

I was like, wow, and I've been going back every year since. Yeah, that's all, oh, every year, good for you. I'm interested to think about that. I want to see the gap between 15 year old closet and maybe I'm just Italian Mateo, an 18 year old, now I'm gay going to Italy Mateo. What was the, what were you like in 15 years? No, yeah.

Because you grew up in Chicago. Yeah, and... And... Carlton Heights. Carlton Heights, a suburb. Okay, so I respect, thank you for saying that, because as somebody who grew up within the city limits of Baltimore, anytime somebody claims it, suburb. Okay, so I respect thank you for saying that because as somebody who grew up within

the city limits of Baltimore, anytime somebody claims it, like our friend of the show sahib saying that motherfucker grew up in the suburbs. Okay, he didn't grow up in Baltimore. Well, too bad. I lived in the suburbs until I was about 16 and then 17 and then after high school I moved to the city. Yeah, I lived in the city proper because all my friends were in the city. Yeah, yeah, until I was like 20 to be archived. Yeah, the big city. I lived in the city proper, because all my friends were in the city until I was like 20. To be archived. Yeah. In the big city.

Yeah, it was, it had just skates, be yours. Of course, of course. I needed to be anonymous, right? Of course. Of course. The lure of a big city, so people don't be like, he's gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's gay. Yeah, the three gay guys in the suburb, well, you know, one of them is 80, and they're like, why don't you date Walters? Like, Walters 85 years old. He's the only other gay guy. But you were, because it also, you also have like a bunch of gay people in your family, right?

Don't you have like, everyone's gay in my family. It's just so interesting. I was just so interested. Yeah, I'm your cousin, right? My cousin, my brother. My brother? Yes, and we think it's from our Mexican side

because it's genetic. So my backster my back story my mom's history my mother is actually Italian in Mexican, okay so my blood grandfather is Mexican and and not like Spanish Mexican like indigenous Mexican and They had five kids and my mother was one of them, but you know it was the 50s So he had a mistress and he had five kids with another woman and then he named all in the same name So two walkings So then my my Nana found out and divorced him and then remarried a Sicilian.

So my mother was probably in high school by that point because the pictures of my mother's family growing up was either Degos or Mexican. And the Mexicans are like, I mean, like, it's Mexican as you do. And then my grandma, I love my grandma, but in a very unhealthy way, she was was like we're never speaking to that family again They they fucked me and so my mom all her cousins and uncles grandparents all these Mexicans just but by

Wow super unhealthy, you know and my mother I get it though Well, I It's extreme, but I see where she sounds extreme. Yeah But I see you guys you got that cheated on to a Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I see you guys you got that cheated on to a Mishis with a duplicate fan like not just a couple kids Copy'd every single one and named them the same names. Yep for ease of remembering Before she bad that's just like a Joaquin is such a beautiful

What a perfect name for us. Yeah, it was treating his family. Like, it was a filing system. Who's like, we have to get, we have to buy the same cameras here and on the road, eldest, so we know how to use them. That's how it's treating his kids. Like, it was running a business. Well, it's funny as my nun. I don't know how she did this.

She somehow, my uncle, well, my, my, his name was Joaquin, my uncle Jack. She got his name changed on the birth certificate. Which I'm like, what's the Sillian? Shit is that? How did you manage that? So then she married a Sillian who raised me and my mother. My were very communal raising in my family.

It's like all my cousins and everything. So my grandpa is my Sillian grandfather and I was raised culturally a Sillian. And I am Italian, but like he was my real grandpa. But I did meet my blood grandfather, my mother and him record the cheater. The cheater. Yes, yes, yes.

Before he died. And he was also Italian, but not Sicilian. No, he was the Mexican. Oh, he was Mexican, sorry. So my mother read. Grandma's Italian. Yes, gotcha, guys. Grandma's Napoli town for those.

Napoli town. And which is Greek based. How do you say New City in Greek? Napoli. Okay, Napoli, I say. Napoli, Napoli Greek Yeah, okay, I'm not bully. Yeah, I'm not point. Yeah, yeah, look at that. So Another thing they took from us Naples, I don't know anyone's no one's crying over Naples Although to be fair Naples created opera and pizza, but that's big those are two big ones

But she did meet my dad her dad again, and then I met him and And then he was trying to, look, she asked him every question, and he answered every question. You know, she was like, my mom said, because my grandmother was trying to stop him from seeing her kids. I don't want him to see how well I raise you guys. You know, don't let him back into your life. And, you know, he wanted me to get an abortion with you. And my mom really put in the guilt and, yeah. And my mom said to him, did you want to get it? And he said, yes, I did. Wow. So, you know, it's to his credit.

You know, even though I ran out of names. I was thinking like, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got What's a name you? Sherry. So, yeah, my mother's birth name is a French Mexican name. Sherry Maldonado. Sherry Maldonado. And now she, she, you know, I think, yeah, she was like, I'm just marrying a white guy. So my dad, Lane Irish. Lane.

His family has zero problems. They're like, we go driving every Sunday. Yeah. Very fun. My mom was like, yeah, we were living with my Italian grandparents because furniture was getting confiscated in my, I got five brothers and sisters with the same name and mech, you know.

She met all her brothers and sisters at the funeral. And my grandpa's, yeah. I mean, they're half, too. They're half, half and what? I don't know what the other half is, something white, but they were like, hello, where you? Where you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm Bisharo, you. But I had a 23 in me and my first cousin is just some some Mexican guy on Tonyo Maldonado who also did 23 me and And it doesn't show for some reason I don't know what because my family came from Italy like what 80 years ago So it's like it doesn't no one in Italy's done 23 me But I have like a bunch of second third cousins all over Mexico that are related to me get out of here Like that's kind of crazy. Do they have a little pride flag next to them? They show you that they're taught by the class.

Yeah. Oh, so back to you. You're saying it runs on the Mexican side. So because of the split in my family, right? The grandkids born from the Sicilian side and the grandkids born from the Mexican side. Because I have 34 first cousins. Jesus. The Mexican side, three out of the five, gay. The rest of them.

Straight. So my aunt Cindy was like, I think the Mexican side. And she thinks that my grandpa's brother was gay. She was like, well, he owed it. Or drivers a lot of the 50s and like theaters. She's like, and it was beaten up in high school. I mean, come on now. I was like, she's got a point.

She's got a point. I like that she's shunned a track and like it's, you know, blue eyes. Kind of. The gay gene. I kind of believe it in a way, like gene. But it's funny how genetics work because my mother got, my grandmother's very light.

And so my mom got like green eyes, almost blonde, golden blonde hair, light skin in my Ancendi, same blood, same parents. Yeah, totally dark, totally Mexican. No, I mean, you see that there's these, there's these like, you know, it was a meme going around, but it was like fraternal twins that were, you know, the mom was black and the dad was white, I think.

And one of them looks like, Santino, she's like a red head. She looks Irish and the other girls like a black girl and they were fraternal twins, like born at the same time. Like minutes apart. You mentioned the doctors trying to not make a face. Yeah, they're like, what is going on?

Did she half fuck a black guy? What? How did she manage it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, it is because that's how 23 of me works also. It's like, if you and your sibling do it, they show you what the siblings genes, like they show you the ones that are activated

in the sibling. So it's like, if your brother, like if your aunt and mom did it, your aunt's genes would be more Mexican. Yeah, it's very interesting. So your siblings could do it and not get more. It's the maybe I have more. Well, I look so Italian, even though I'm Mexican and Irish also. So you siblings could do it and not get some more. Maybe I have more.

Well, I look so Italian, even though I'm Mexican and Irish also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know how, but I was raised culturally Italian, so that's why I speak Italian. You got a real Robert De Niro thing going. He's like half German or whatever. And everyone's like, he's the most Italian guy. He's from the Godfather.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel bad because I do this like cooking show on my on my insert or tic-to-oh YouTube you got it and Keep naming websites you'll get there and people are like how can you don't talk about your Mexican side? I'm like well I I wasn't right. I do but I'm like I'm like yeah my Mexican side is about cheating Is a philand it is a philanderous my grandma the patriarch of the Mexican side was a philander But just him the rest of family seems great Like it's strange to see these books of all my relatives in Mexico Yeah, and it's just they look so nice and friendly. I'm like, I would have been it would have been nice to be raised with that as a part of my life

So I'm trying as I get older to like reconnect to that. Yeah, that's a nice little that's another thing Do you speak Spanish at all? I do speak Spanish. Yeah. We're in Italian accent. When did you start learning all these accents? Or I'm sorry, not accents. Language, or something. Because you speak what? Italian, Spanish, French, what else?

Some German. Little German, just a little bit. I mean, pretty good. Good for you. When did you start this? Were you like a multi-lingual guy in high school? Did you take a lot of stuff in high school? No, I almost failed out of high school.

Really? I hated it. I was so tortured and closeted. I just wanted out. I was relentless leaning on that. Somehow went homecoming king. Homecoming king. Because it was all football players and choir. Interesting.

So it was like there was six football players and then me. But the choir didn't have to divide their votes between the football players. So there were two queens there. Yeah. But it was kind of it's because it was me me and my friend Tantiana who I went to middle school with. It was like, oh, work.

It was like, it was all white girls than Tantiana and all straight guys and then me. And we won. And still to this day, we'll message like, you know, hey, I'll come and queen. But yeah, I started learning Italian when I was going to Italy and you just, no one speaks English. So you just suddenly speaking Italian. Yeah. And 15's a good age to start learning languages anyways because your brain's still absorbing.

Yeah. And then I learned Spanish, well I learned French because I, I guess I am an nerd. I loved this movie, The Young Girls of Rock, for with Kathmandu Nove. It's a French New Age jazz film. And I loved musical. That is so gay. That's the gayest movie. That is so gay.

That's the gayest movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the gayest movie. This is the gayest, like the part about you sucking the Brazilian guy off, not as gay as learning a language because of, because you saw a woman elegantly smoking a cigarette in a movie. You saw a woman with great bone structure.

In black and white, and you're like, I have to know the language she speaks. Oh, sobers you see. You clearly? I'm so transparent. I'm so transparent. Oh, yes, that's what I want. Good for you.

You also have clearly an affinity for language, because no one can pick shit up. Like, eldest no's, Elbein and I know Greek, but we were raised in it, you know what I mean? And like I couldn't, I barely, I took French one five times. You know what I mean? I still don't know how to count to like 11 or whatever. I remember learning French with my friend,

an Aisse whose French, and I just said, I'll just start speaking French me, because grammatically French and Italian really are the wagon. I remember learning French with my friend on IE's who's French and I just said I'll just start speaking French me because grammatically French and Italian really are the same Yeah, you can speak Italian with a French accent. You're pretty good. Gotcha. So there was I already had those romance languages Like the bridge was already built. Gotcha. And Spanish was with Felicia Evans ex-wife Oh, yeah, it was one of my good friends and she's from Mexico Yeah, and so for two and a half years I I was like, yeah, we're only speaking Spanish. We only watch Spanish TV. We only watch Spanish. Evan doesn't speak Spanish.

Not a word. It's like in dumbass. It's like in two months. Fucking white dumbass. In two months, I learned Spanish. Wow. And my cousin Brian speaks Italian, and he also can understand Spanish.

So then Felicia's sister Anna would come over. So then all of us are just speaking Spanish. Evan's like, what is this infestation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Graham, but I learned so much about my Mexican culture through Felicia. And her family was so wonderful. And yeah, yeah, I love it.

But you just picked up, that's very fascinating. So that's funny, because in high school, you're saying you weren't really learning, because you were just spending all your energy pretending to be straight. Is that what's always failed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean no matter how I tried walking or looking at you.

Did you ever have like the fake girlfriend or what? Of course. We had dated Francesca at Michael's. We worked at Michael's together. That's so awesome. We're still friends. It's just gonna happen in a pickle. That's great.

Imagine the like fat like 60 year old woman who was like, you know, at the fabric section, be like, oh yeah, you two are dating, huh? I can just knew exactly what was going on. She's just gonna get me. I'm just gonna go further in the yarn section because she was cheating on me with her ex-boyfriend. That's as far as I'm concerned.

Did you guys ever hook up? We made out. because she was cheating on me with her ex-boyfriend. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's awesome. And I'm not one of these gave people out. I don't look at vaginas and think, you're gross. Of course. Women are very beautiful, very sexy, but I'm sexually attracted to men. Yeah. But I would have no problem. I mean, I would be interested. It would be interesting to watch me, to watch me, for me to have sex with,

to try and fuck a woman. I don't know how. I would feel so bad for them. You know what I mean? So it would be so not I can barely top like I get so much top anxiety of course it's easy to be about them for in a lot of ways I mean everyone at home is really confused right now, but like they get it They like put it together to be a top it requires like a real kind of like energy Yeah, I was like I would have to pretend I'm like the frosty the flakes guy like there

Fucking you or I'm it would be an acting challenge. It would be and I don't know. I just I just I don't have an energy Interesting it is and I fed there's there's guys in the past that have dated where like I feel so comfortable with them And then that changes everything. I'm very sensitive to other people's energies So like for someone you can be more sexy adventures when you have a real bond with someone I think. Yeah, but that's what I'm gay. So that's almost impossible. Yeah. Damn.

So yeah, I don't know how I would. She got to work your way up to topping men. I used to be at good top. And then I think my last boyfriend was only at top. So I was like, I'll bottom. But then it sort of broke my confidence in topping. Oh. And we got to get your ass fucking confidence.

I know I don't know how to do it. I'm sure I have a plethora of options. That's not a issue. You need to get into it. No, you got to get over that. You need a couple of slam pieces. You need a couple of guys you don't care about to roll gay. You need to get back in the zone with a couple guys that, and they know what's up to.

I bet you people will be happy to be like your training ass. You know what I mean? You kind of great. Yeah. I know I had a friend who was like he was in the same situation. I was like, what should just practice on each other? It's like that'd be fun. We never got to it.

He got a boyfriend. But just the fact that being gay, that option is just there. So nice. But I don't know. I would like to top more. How did we get into me topping? His that option is just there. So nice. But I don't know. I would like to top more. How did he get into me topping? I wish that would just show us about. And we're from Amy Mexicans Top.

That's what this show is about. We're really exploring it. My grandpa was really good at topping. He really was. But yeah, because he's still alive? Get him on the phone. I'll just fuck some of the people. God.

Yeah. Ola Joaquin. Is Joaquin senior there? He didn't know it was gay, obviously. He would try and connect with me and send me birthday cars, but it was like with like big league chew. I'm like, it should have been like a Barbie dress, but it's nice for the nice, you know,

we call themself Jack for short, so Jack Maldonado. Anyone named, last name Maldonado. That's a powerful last name. Maldonado. Maldonado sounds good. It's super Mexican, very common in Mexico and Puerto Rico. It's better than Lane, no disrespect. not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not a not you can see that juxtaposition when you grow like you group only Greek only group so imagine you don't you don't like I can tell by grandparents my dad's grandparents lovely people yeah but I think before they die they died in some

my 20s I think I saw them maybe five times growing up that is a very strange thing with like like America I guess you know American white people I don't know how to put it, but like, non-immigrant whites, right? Indigenous whites. Because we were talking earlier before the podcast where it was like, we were talking about like dating people and it was like, I have had an easier time dating immigrants who are not white than a white person

who's like, you know, whose family's been here forever. I have so much more in common than any immigrant with any immigrant than I do like somebody who just has, because there was like a coldness, you know what I mean? Like especially when you're from a... It's like, I noticed my dad's family, it's like, well, and his parents, who we're loving,

I mean, but they say, we had kids, they grew up, now you go. We're the Italians, never disconnect. Right, so my parents are still mad go. Right. Where the Italians never disconnect. Right, so my parents are still mad, I moved out of the house. You just think, like they're like, they're like, until you get a wife, you live here. Right.

That is still the like, in their heart. That's the way it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My eyes on my mom. Which is also crazy, by the way. But there needs to be a little middle ground. They just need to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's embarrassing, we use like a four-time-year-old man. Yeah, at 100, I mean, go to Greek town. When you come to Baltimore, when you come to Baltimore, we'll show you. You can tell because they have like $100,000 cars parked outside of the town home. They split with their mother still. And they get their laundry and everything.

I don't have many Greeks in Baltimore. Yeah, the neighborhood is definitely like, a lot of people have moved out, a lot of people move to the suburbs, but honestly, it's, the neighborhood is definitely like a lot of people have moved out, a lot of people move to the suburbs, but honestly, it's still a really good, yeah, for sure. I mean, one of my brothers moved out, one is still there, my, you know, my parents still live there. I want to run a joke by you.

I did an off the cuff. I was at the cell of it the night and there was a girl who's Greek in a town. So I started going in on her and I was telling all these jokes about Greek people. And it's like, oh, this is actually really funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's so, I don't know if Greeks would like, please. In those moments, you know what I mean? Like it works in the room.

Of course, of course. But if you put it online, obviously it does like different context to it. But I might edit it and send it to you to be like, do you, how do you feel Greek? Any time. I'm not saying I think racist. I'm just saying like, how were they interpret?

Because I talk about my friend Sophia's mom reading our coffee cups and she read mine and she'd be like because for Greeks They do it. It's called the call to geography which is like tea leaf reading where they have like did Albanian's read coffee? Held is yeah, and we called it Turkish coffee shut the fuck off Quiet your own mic for the remainder of the episode. It's Greek coffee you motherfucker. No Couldn't wait look at his fucking face look how happy he was to say that sacrilegious bullshit. It is Greek coffee Those those treacherous Ottomans took a lot from us It wasn't you as eldest in seeing you. He knew what he was doing. But the Turkish burned their coffee a couple times.

The Greeks do it just once. I think that's the difference in the coffee. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, we do it just once. But her mother would read our fortune. And she'd read mine and it is fun and interesting. And she'd say, you know, you have, you have a, her name is Daphne.

You have a, you over here you make money. This look at this road, look at this road. Where are you going? You know, I see a snake. Who is in you, who is you, who is in you? You know, so then she'd read Sophia's, this doesn't, you're a bitch. She's just going, that's all.

But absolutely, no, we definitely did that. My mom and my grandma did that for years I would love to have your mother read my fortune now be great. She still does it. Yeah, absolutely We're going to Baltimore, baby. We're gonna do it Good morning Baltimore I love John Waters. I've read most of his books. Yeah, he would when we would go the bars We would go to in Baltimore. He would hang out at really yeah, yeah. He wrote a great book called Roe Models,

which I think all comics should read. It's just very fascinating to see his interpretation of it. I'll read that. I was looking for some of that. People he was obsessed with and stuff like that and redemption and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, he's a bit, I mean, shout out to John Waters, obviously, Baltimore legend.

I love divine. And I think it was Flamingo. What's the movie called? Pink Flamingo. Where they were interviewing divine. She's a drag queen from the 80s. And like, What's the movie called? Pink Flamingo? Where they were interviewing Divine. She's a drag queen from the 80s. And like, what's your political stance? Kill everyone!

Murder everything! Each check! Die! Like, shit, so... It's really, did you know that Divine, she, oh, it was about to, she was cast on, married with children,

right before she died. She was like about to break out into like, main, she's incredible, so funny. In a way, she's immortalized in such a beautiful way. For sure. A little bit. She shouldn't have died so young, but yeah, I love divine.

And she inspired Ursula. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, second drag queens are great. They really are. I'm really impressed, in the 80s to have divine. I know, they really are hilarious. Well, to base a character and not give her any credit. Right.

It's not really. It's actually traditionally what happens to marginalized people. That's a great idea. Let's give another lady that let's give a straight woman that role in just to take, although even whoever played her a slow-scrue. All the auditions I get are still as far as we've gotten if you're gay And you're because I don't know how to be straight. I don't know how I have gay voice and stuff

Yeah, so all the languages I speak I can't speak straight and But all the roles are still all the same you get them and it's the best friend. Yeah, who's got sassy quips Of course zero merit or zero You know to mean like just in there to be sassy just in there to be sassy. Just in there to be sassy. And that, I mean, the part of it is I am. I am the friend of you sassy. You know what I mean? That's what I am.

But it's like. Well listen, bros flopped. So it's going to be another 10 years, Mateo. Okay. Just giving it like 45. I think that's what a while. I never saw it. Ireland was great.

Not too far. Ireland was really good. The fire island was really good. Joll can boost her Matt Rogers and Boorgan, or just they're just the best. But, and fuck, can't believe I'm Margaret Charles. I'm incredible. I just, I kind of met her on and off, but I just did like a full two hour podcast

with her the other day. And, she rules. Oh, she's, yeah. Un, un, she's under song. I fully remember like one of my favorite, one of my first memories in comedy, because I didn't have, you know, we didn't have cable, we didn't have anything,

she had the sitcom. Yeah, all American girl. All American girl. And I remember seeing it and then seeing her doctor cats, actually I think at your house, because doctor cats, you had cable, didn't you? Oh, yeah. And so, and that's, and then kind of going backwards

and finding her shit out, because I didn't, I wasn't exposed to too much of that. I'm the one that I want that stand-up special is probably one of the best stand-up specials of all time. Yeah, she's great. Revolutionary. Yeah. I mean, you know, and yeah, she looks cool with shit too.

She got tattoos. Oh, yeah, she's great. And she just knows herself so well. Yeah, I love my shit. Which is so important in comedy. That's the, truly the biggest thing. I mean, everyone loves, everyone loves, you have to be technically gifted, right?

You have to know how to write a joke or be a great performer or hopefully some, some combination of those things. But really what really is important to set up comedy though more I get into it and the older I get into it is like having an authentic perspective that only you can pull off. Sure.

Because people can steal your jokes, they can even steal your mannerisms, but they really can't tell, they can't steal that kind of authenticity. Yeah. And I think that's like, that's what, I mean, or maybe that's just what I have started really valuing more than anything,

but like, and that's what I think is so great about. Well, it's super funny, but you show completely understand yourself I think is so great about. The last thing, it's super funny, but you show completely understanding stuff and everything is from her perspective, and that's really fucking hard, is fully not relying on the tropes, not relying on the fat jokes, the gage jokes, or whatever, or just doing it just enough

that's true to your existence or whatever. I remember just talking about, because sometimes when you travel with other comics, you start to pick up certain mannerisms. So years ago, me and Lisa Trigger, who is one of my favorite comedians in my law, is literally, I think she's one of the most naturally gifted comics.

Very funny. You gotta get her on here. And she's phenomenal in a way, if you've not seen her, you should look her up. She's phenomenal because an audience watching her will see her and not understand what she's doing, whether it's calculated or whether it's just off the cuff. And her punchline could be like a sigh. And I've seen that like a shrug and a sigh

murder. She definitely has an incredible physicality. But we, I remember we were on the road with each other for, we first started in comedy and we were like doing these double headliners These like deep stuff and I mean just bombing for hours at the end and it was so funny because we started to pick up Each other's manners and I think I'm doing you as I think I'm doing The funniest thing ever we were sitting at lunch one time and we're outside in Cleveland outside of hilarities We ordered lunch and this homeless guy comes up with a flower and goes up to Lee's and goes, there's two parts of this.

He goes, can I offer you a rose for the pretty princess? And she goes, no, and he walked away. And right when he gets out of her line of vision, she goes, princess of what? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- That's a great question. That's which, you should have directed him to you. He would have had me, would have had more luck. I love Lisa. That's all that saves. Yeah, so funny.

Why don't we, look, we've got, we've very gotten to know you, Mateo, people already knew you, but let's take some of this knowledge. Let's solve some of these problems. Okay. Let's pull up, pull some problems up for us. We got law, we were, the, the convo was so good. we were riffing so well, but we got to solve these motherfuckers issues here. Here's with the first question, eldest. And you know, yeah, you got a fucking play of slander. Hey, stop. Love the show. Um, I'm a bit of a sandwich every time you fucking dance.

Hey, stop. Love the show. show. I have a bit of a conundrum. So my best friend since like middle school just drunkenly confessed to me that he fucked my girlfriend at the time in high school, which was 10 years ago. Oh, no, I don't know, like I haven't talked to that girl in years. I don't there's no like emotional attachment to her, but I'm kind of sure he that he fucked my girlfriend. Yeah. I don't know, a year or so there's no like emotional attachment to her but I'm kind of sure to be that she fucks my girlfriend. Yeah. I don't know like do I talk it

up to him being a shitty friend or like do I say all he's just like trying to get a dick weight like ten years ago. No not that long time ago. I don't know what do I do. Do I touch his mother this motherfucker off or do I just get over it? Thanks, dad. Oh my God. Okay. Well, I think it's in high school. It is 10 years ago. Those are your friends since I think you chalk it up to this is something shit you didn't high school and you should have said something to me, but we didn't have the emotional capacity to one deal with that kind of conversation at that time. Now he's obviously told you I would say work through it. Yeah, so 10 years since I was a school, so let's say they're 26 now. Yeah, right? So that's 16, 26, 16 years old. That's a 16 or 18, 26, 28. Like I'm trying to think if elders did this to me, I would be like, what?

You fucking put this in? I would just say, yeah, I guess in like, so out of context, I'm like, that is pretty fucking piss- I would be shit. Yeah, I guess in like, so out of context, I'm like, that is pretty shitty. And don't get me wrong, it is shitty. Well, you would laugh because it'd be like, yeah, your friend fucked, your friend did Michaels. Yeah, she needed it. Yeah, that's the other way.

Left friend chance to get it. Yeah, friend chance to go in. I was not delivering. You were fumbling on her tits. I didn't get that far. It is shitty, but yeah, cutting him off, if he's been a stellar friend in every other sense, you don't want to do that, right? You don't want to cut it. If he's been a great friend, and also if this is the one thing he did, but...

Well, given the chance to apologize and make amends, I mean, has he been good to you for the past 10 years? Yeah. You know, he obviously felt bad about it. He didn't have five other kids with another woman name all the same names, and my mother forgave my her dad. So, you know, it's not that bad, but I love it.

This is the most emotional this straight man's ever been. 100%. No, this is devastating for him. We're getting it. What he wants to say is like, I feel emotionally violated that my friend who was supposed to have my set, but instead he's like, oh, I'm gonna conundrum. Yeah

Girlfriend now Did it so He fucked her while they were dead like she cheated he cut the sheet sheeted on him with his best friend in high school And then they broke up and then they never talked about it until now. He's a drunkenly confessed to him I would say you have to put this in the greater context of your friendship never talked about it until now. He's the drunk and leek confessed to him. I would say you have to put this in the greater context of your friendship. Is see the, because look,

people also have these weird, frenemy relationships, right? Where it's like, my friend Nick Smith, I hate him. And where it's like, especially in high school, you have those weird relationships where it's like, yeah. Were you always, like, did you always kind of root against me?

Were you not, did you not have my back? If there was this kind of weird thing where you're not, yeah, were you always, like did you always kind of root against me, were you not, did you not have my back? If there was this kind of weird thing where you're not, you know, now just open up a whole other thing of like, wow, he fucked, you know, he fucked a bunch of, did he do other shit behind my back? Like if it ruins the trust, that's one thing. Like again, I'm putting this in a real world example of like I have my best friend right in front of me here.

And if he fucked a girl that I wanted to fuck in, I'm none of us were getting pussy. That's what's really hard here, is we didn't start fucking until our 20s. So it's like, I guess let's move through our 20s then. But I don't care about any of those girl like truly, it would just be more of a thing of like, can I trust you?

You know what I mean? I don't know. It would be hard even if like, you don't care about the girl and you know like it's in the past, it would be. It would be weird. It would be weird. It would shift everything you fundamentally know

about this person. That's the thing about. No, that's what I mean. That's a bit, that's a tattoo. No, it's not though. You're best friend. In high school. High school, I guess you put.

High school, the things we were doing in high school that you just don't, there's no foresight, there's no thought to it, your brain is literally growing, your body is full of your own. High school would be easier to write off. I guess I was thinking 20s for it. Early 21 and 16 are two different years. You're right, you're right. They are two different years.

16, I mean, you just started trying, that's a child. Yeah, it's a child. That is a child. And probably, and what if his friend had never gotten any push before in the, and the ex-girlfriend was like a dumb bitch who was trying to fuck, you know what I mean? Context also matters here.

Like, was he going behind your back trying to fuck? I mean, a little of it matters, but ultimately I think if this is a really good friend and you can chalk this up to he made a mistake when he was a kid, you can kind of put him on probation almost, and like prove that you're still the same guy, prove that I can still trust you. But also, if it does change it for him,

you can't control that either, right? Like if this guy is like, can I even trust this guy? Does this, you know, did he lie to me then? What's gonna stop? Did he lie to me in college? Did he lie to me there?

Does it, if it also affects you that way? That's fair too. You also have to see how you feel about this because everybody is different too. But if you're the French, it means something to you. Try and have redemption and try and have a conversation about it.

You at least owe it that, I think. To yourself, even. You don't want to lose a friend over like, no, girl from high school that you don't care about either. He's the devil of the show. A bit of a conundrum. Also since middle school, so yeah, you have to look at it in full context.

You have to think about what kind of friend this guy is to you. And you really have to think about what's worth it for you. But I think high school, high school you should be okay. But you know what's interesting and we'll move on but if he had known about this inco, like now we can say that right. Right. As 30. How old is he close. But if he had found out about it in college. It would have been over.

It would have ruined the relationship. So it is a little bit of this guy. So the friend obviously wants his friendship and felt he fucked up. That's why he didn't tell him for so long. And then it couldn't hold on to the guilt anymore and admitted it to him. And I think that if he had already admitted that,

he would have admitted whatever else he had done wrong. It's true. So yeah, it doesn't change it, but it's truly up to you and you really have to think about. I think you give him a shot on almost a probationary thing and think, is he still my friend? Has anything really changed? And if you feel like it has,

and the fundamentally shifts for you, that's totally acceptable for you, but I think you owe it to yourself to give it a shot and really talk about this and make sure he hasn't fucked you over in any other ways. Or just listen to my mom's story and you'll feel better. Yeah, that's true. That is true.

Hey, there's another one, Eld. Hey, Scott. Just want to go, sorry. I hooked up with this have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time.

I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a good time. I hope that you guys have a Or something. Yeah, and that's not a good communicative. I sent her a Facebook message long saying, like, hey, we should meet up again, you know, as long as, like, totally desperate at the time.

And I know it came off that way. And I deleted his Facebook. I was like, oh, I think I could. So I was like, how do you think I could get back in it? So we lost half of what he said a little bit of what he said, he knows his problem. But I mean, this is hysterical. He's like, how can I he was like, I fuck this girl six years ago But I mean, this is hysterical. I know. He's like, how can I fuck? He was like, I fuck this girl six years ago.

I faced, I tried to contact her in a way that was so embarrassing. It led me to delete an entire social media account. Hey, Stav, how do I bounce back from that? Bad news pal, you don't. You're fucked. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. That, and no. You don't. Sometimes, I bet. Yeah.

And no. You get it. Sometimes there's no solution. I know. And it's tough. I know. Listen, you clearly don't get a lot of good pussy. You got some black lipstick marks on your dick six years ago.

You're good at having a conflict and hang out. I don't know. That's a mouth. Those are, he's now he's six years out of college. Oh, okay. 27. Dougura, I thought. What's your dream of going there? Spencer's. Those are these are he's now he's six years out of college 27 dogora top I kind I kind of disagree here Double down Facebook back sorry you might have noticed that my Facebook was deleted the other week, but now it's bad.

Anyway, coffee. Bring the Facebook back is no big deal, because she probably didn't even notice. He deleted it or did he give a fuck? She noticed, but was the message read? That's a good question. Even if it was read, who knows? Maybe she just like fucked some really hot dude

or was like on some good path. I'd say like give it like six to nine months. You can take your face back before then. But give it six to nine months. We're let the impact of that thirsty ass message wear off and then double down a little more simply. Don't go straight to do you want to hang out. be like Sub how's it going or something and who knows who knows where her headspace was Who knows when it's gonna be in a little just under a year this is not a man who has six months out this You know criminally horny this guy was when he take when he said his phone's barely working It's been six years really working. I don't even think it's been six years. He's been waiting my months.

This is a man who is so horny. He found himself so down bad that he was like, who's the last hot girl that fucked me? He had to go back six years and he hit her with a Facebook message that was so embarrassing. He deleted his account. You think this is a man that can do long term strategic planning?

It's out of the question. I think he just needs to let it simmer a little, let the impact wear off. We're kind of self a little maybe date some other girls, but I think he can at least double down a ladder. Just work on yourself and date some other girl. Yeah, that's that shit. Girl six years ago. You have nothing to lose with a double down. No, just saying what's locked everything. he has nothing to lose his face but he lost the ability to see which one of his fucking

uncles is q-a-non now this but now look okay i see sort of what you're talking about right in theory he has nothing to lose with the double down but that's a have eight irons in the fire strategy

this man has no irons he's not even close he's where he's he's a mountain with a pickaxe trying to mine iron ore right now he's in a so far away from being close to fucking anyone but you're the second part is right work on yourself trying trying to date somebody else it's a you this was a high point for him, dude. He's trying to get glory. It's like the God, it's Uncle Rico talking about he's throwing a football over the mountains. We've all been there, we all remember the best,

the hottest person we've ever fucked, and we think about, what is that? I'm not a Tuesday. Yeah. He's giving up to him a Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah. Peace. Give it up to me, Mateo. I have certainly found myself, you know, longing. Yeah, lonely longing where it's like, it's not even like a can I fuck someone. It's like, oh, I miss like, you know, someone, whatever.

And it's like, it instead of doing the work to like build up a new relationship, go on some first days, find a person you like, it's so easy to be like, why don't I just hit up four girls I've loved. Maybe one of them's life is bad enough to DM me back, but that's a losers mentality, Eldest. Then I'm a loser. That's a losers mentality. And that's what we have to look, buddy. Wait, you can't, this is over.

Think of it as over, try and fuck some other people, try and build some new relationships. And if in six to nine months, you have a little more self-esteem, and you wanna give the Sula method a chance and hit her with the, what can I lose to reply? And I see where you're saying, oh, there's nothing lost in replying

to an Instagram story. And being like, damn, that's wild. And I see where you're saying all this, there's nothing lost in replying to an Instagram story. And being like, damn, that's wild. And seeing where it goes, you don't lose anything. Except your dignity. This man doesn't have much of that, right? That's clear. I think, though, buddy, you're fucked. You really fell flat on your face.

You basing, if he had given one respectable message and it's still a good chance she rejects him then, let alone he embarrasses himself. You basing if he had given one respectable message and it's still a good chance she rejects him then, let alone he embarrasses himself. And he should come out. He can might solve that problem. He could also try bringing the Facebook back, unfriending her. That's enough, that's enough, that's enough. It's a trending, man.

We're on Instagram. Try to re- read a friend. Oh yeah, maybe take a different platform. You're out of your mind, Elis. If she reads, you know, you're out of your mind, bro. You've been in a nice relationship too long. You have no idea how it is out here, bro. You really don't.

I mean, certainly, it's like I haven't been in on again, off again, situations, but not six years later. Like, think about a girl you fuck six years ago. I'm trying to think, what is it? Well, it wasn't a while. I'll see someone on Instagram that you still follow. I'm like, hey, they're pretty hot. And you'll be like, hey, stranger.

Okay. My favorite stranger. Yeah, I'm 33 now, 27. Okay. All right. Yeah, you know what? All right, I take a bag, I get six years just that long.

I was three. Three years ago. There's definitely people I hooked up with six years ago that I still follow on Instagram. And if shit was going, if you call me in the right thing, whatever, I might give it a shot again. I'm just saying, if you, but I wouldn't fucking embarrass myself so bad

that I have to delete my fucking social media. Just write it off. Just assume it won't happen. And if you think you can try one more time just for the fuck of it and it won't emotionally crush you or make you feel like shit, to get rejected again knowing like that that cringe message is right above the new one

I don't think he can I don't think he's that much out of this message I know This is the one it's done. I'll this will surprise you what he's passionate about I was ready to move on 15 seconds in And this is because I even finish it I was like Facebook You can always double down. There's always a chance for a double down, you know?

All right, hey, buddy. You know what? Take out this advice, call in, let us know how it goes. If this works, I'll just get to raise. I probably gotta head out here soon. I see a COVID test for, I'm shooting this thing Thursday. No worries. I'm gonna call my house.

Why don't we do, can you do one more? Yeah. Let's do one more here. And then maybe we'll do one. Maybe, Elders isn't a talkative mood. Maybe we'll do one without you after that. Um, all right. There's Stavvy, the pride of Maryland.

What up, man? How are we doing, buddy? I'm glad I love the Ravens game. Recaps from Ronnie. I'll catch you on tour soon. Oh, thank you, my friends. My situation is I'm 28 currently in grad school. Last year I was with this chick for about seven or eight months.

I was really feeling her. This is the first time I kind of picture myself with somebody, see a future. And then school got busy. I did my best to make time to take a route, do fun stuff with her. The shit went out and we split. Three months later, I'm still thinking about her a lot more than I'd hope by now. And it's tough because I just started seeing this new girl. And when I'm with her, it's all good.

But then when I'm alone at night with like, you know, the lotion, the sock, it's all grumped and get a back. I know this is a classic tale, but just want to see if you could spare any work of wisdom on getting over an X. Appreciate a big dog. Thanks a lot. Center Facebook message. This one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Center of Facebook. We both side of the same time. It's tough. This is tough when I get this one. I

think that What did he say it said I did my best to take her out and do fun stuff with her but she went south He fucked it up. I want to know what went went south, so he didn't give her enough attention. I think yes, I think probably. This is part ego and part feeling. So a lot of times when someone breaks up with you, it's a very common in men to have, you know, it's sort of like a feeling of ego of like,

my pride has hurt. It's like, well, this is something that I thought was unconditionally gonna be mine just because I said so when it's gone and it made me reflect on myself. Absolutely. So I think that there's part of you dealing with like how his behavior was and maybe he feels subconsciously that if he goes back to her that will somehow resolve

a redeem his bad behavior. But, you know, look, he could also really like her. I think another possibility here is, yeah, is that he realized he regrets not putting a little more f in hindsight. Right. What he thought was like too much effort, he's like, I would have given 10 times to like continue to be with her, right? But things are rose-colored in the past, you know, if it didn't work out, it didn't work out. You know, I would say after six months, if the feelings are the same, I would reach out for her. Yeah, and look, I think know, I would say after six months if the feelings are the same, I would reach

out for her. Yeah, and look, I think the, I think the real, the reality here is like, yes, maybe, but he's also dating somebody and he says things are going well with her, but that he, you know, things are going well when he's with her, but then when, you know, when she's not there, when that girl's not there, he thinks about the girl before him. And I think before her, sorry. And I think that's just, I really just think

he has to not even, don't even give him that, like if you're still thinking about it reach out, because I think party you will just be like, all right, I'm gonna keep thinking about it. I think he has to completely write that off. And in terms of getting back with X's, I think you have to fully go through a breakup. He'll, and then only when you are fully not

in the middle of a breakup, then you can decide, is it worth going through this potentially all over again? Because you don't wanna continue going, you don't wanna go back to the well. And you also wanna give this relationship a real shot. I mean, he basically sounds like he doesn't want anything. He's like, ugh, I'm dating this new girl, but I jack off to the other girl.

It's like, well, that's nice. That is, I will say what it does help you to date, the only thing that really helps. To get over someone, get under someone. Yeah, not just, yes, in a crude way, sure. But it, not just get under them, like, look, I've, I still, there's people, there's a girl I've dated where I'm like, I'm in a similar position

where I fucked it up and I regret how, you know, what I did and we were never seriously dating and it was the kind of thing where I Always made excuses. I was busy. I was doing this. I was doing that and I just assumed like I dated a lot of girls Casually and when we broke up or she went something would happen She would I would be fine and then I found out after the fact oh no I really had real feelings with this girl and I've looked up with a bunch of other girls since then but I still She's the one I can't get over. And it's not to get under someone,

it's start a real relationship, start have real feelings with for another person. Yeah, that's a shame. And that's the hard one. The time helps sort of manage the feelings of ego and wants versus needs. Yeah. And helps you get a better perspective.

You know, I just think also you're right. Dating other people also just open up your scope, your vision a little bit. You know, sometimes we become hyper focused on one thing like that guy and the other. And you might be missing intimacy, right? It's intimacy, it's, but it's also like not being, it's like when you're working on a joke

and you're stuck, you need someone else to come rip you out of the place you're in to open up your vision. So he might shift your perspective on you. He should also probably be changing up his routine. Like do things that are different that puts you in different places so that you're not feeling so monotonous, so that this girl you're thinking of in the past is the only thing that kind of brings you comfort. You should really kind of change up your schedule.

Yeah, I mean, that's probably true. Your whole change, get a new name, move to new country. You're gonna learn how to get a new passport. Forget about her. I also, but I do think he's relatively young, or he's 28 in grad school, and has probably not that many real relationships. And I think, look, this is part of growing up

and realizing who you really want and what you really want. There's people that it didn't work out with us that in a different context, maybe it would have, but without those experiences, without knowing, oh, I really liked how this person treated me in a relationship, you wouldn't learn about yourself. And maybe that's a little bit of that too, is like maybe you learned a little bit

from this experience about what you want from a partner girlfriend Whatever so just take it on the chin I think you have to write it off completely and just get over it completely and Actually give this relationship the one you're currently in a real try But maybe this girl you're with right now isn't it either? And you just have to write it off, try and get better, try and get off of the heart break or the regret or whatever the fuck you're feeling. And then just move forward and look, if you're fully past it, if you try and get through the feelings, and she comes up again, she reaches out, you reach out.

That's one thing, but in my experience, if it didn't work out and you keep going back, it becomes a mess. It's very, very rarely. And I've had relationships that started on again off again, and we're very meaningful relationships to me, but they didn't last, right? So it's like, if you're looking for something that lasts,

I don't think you're gonna find it going back to the well. And if it does happen with somebody that you used to date, I think the only way it ever works is if it's almost like a coincidence. And you're over it and you guys bump into each other at a completely different phase of life and you're almost different people. So move on buddy, you're a relatively young guy,

you know, keep trying it and I think you'll be okay. We're rooting for you. Our pal Matel, you know, keep trying it. And I think you'll be okay. We're rooting for you. Our pal Mateo, you gotta go, buddy. Yeah. If God is though. If God is still polio. I thank you, my friend. Anything you wanna plug?

To the listeners? Sure, I'm on tour. So she Mateo's so funny. It's called the Aldente tour. Love it. Love it. MateoLaneComedy.com. I'm so happy to be asked for second time. Love it. Love it. Matayolanecomedy.com. I had so much fun.

I'm so happy to be asked for a second time. Of course. I love real quick. I love that when I commented on your posts, so so many people were like, you guys are friends? Yeah. You guys know each other, I know. And I'm like, yeah.

Yeah. It is funny that people don't understand the comedians real like how far and how shitty of like the places we met were horrific The shows we did like you mentioned you mentioned fire island It's like I know Joel a little bit the the way we met was we did an open mic at a gay bar in a story I think it was called the Albatross or something and And maybe Liza was there too actually. Sounds about right. It was fucking, and it's like, people now who are like, you know, everyone's doing, you know,

we're doing great, knock on wood, whatever. It's like we used to do dog shit. Dog shit. We were in the worst shows you've ever fucking thought of in your life. And that is the bond when comedians start doing well. And we've been friends for so long. It's like we've been through some hilarious horrific things.

I think, too, it's almost a little like when you start to become more like a brand or something, which is such a gross term that we'll be using LA all the time. But in other words, you become the thing, right? So it's like, Stavros, like, this is, you fully realize to you, right? Right, right, right. So here you are. So in a way, it makes you almost like a character, like a superhero. So it's like watching.

Well why is Magneto hanging out with the Greenland? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those worlds shouldn't combine. It's a crossover episode for people that are familiar with us. It's not as people, but it's like types of comedy. It's separate, but it's like, yeah, We started together doing shitty, shitty, shitty shows. That's right. Bombing.

Big time. And here we are. Go see Mateo, everybody. Not yet. Thank you for doing it, Mateo. Thanks so much, I have fun guys. Me and Elders are gonna do, maybe we do a couple more. What do you say, Elders?

Is that cool? Is it rude of me to just continue the podcast? No, I'm gonna call him. I'm in here. Go ahead. I'll just play one. Maybe the next person will get a little bit of Mateo's wisdom. Faggot? Hey, come on. I'll listen to survive. Oh, I'll...

Hey, so, I wanted to give you a call. I'm 24 years old and starting to go bald. I'm taking one of those webinars that I can keep forever but not doing much and it's going. I'm starting to accept it and I guess it'll obviously affect the way I look but I think really what it's starting to do is just kind of take it on my consonant and try to mental health. So just wanna know your opinion on that, you know, you got a great, great head of hair. Rockin' the bat, but, uh,

Absolutely. You know, I just kind of wanted to hear what your perspective on this is from mental standpoint. All right, my car is coming in a minute. Okay, quick. I just got hair transplants. Yes. They are literally growing in as we speak. You look great.

It takes four to five months. I've never had so much hair. I was losing my hair. It's denial for 10 years. Like it's bed haircut. It is a self-confidence booster. And I totally believe in people being able to do something special for themselves.

There's a plethora of places you can go that are affordable to get your hair done. You can get loans. You can get payment plans. I would find a really good doctor and I would go and I would have a consultation because just a consultation with a doctor who is specifically working in that field, there's also a plethora of other ways to get your hair

to grow besides just surgery, this is the most extreme. But it works. It's trying to all it sounds like. Yeah, so I would definitely go talk to someone if that's something that bothers you Because it bothered me for 10 years and just having hair New hair for a month. I'm gonna be unstoppable this time I love it. I love you guys. I'm gonna love you too, buddy

Talk to you soon Next week next Monday Monday. I guess I can post about it. I will. Bye guys. Bye buddy. You heard that. That's good. That's good that we have two different views on the question.

You know how the fuck I'm rocking with it bro. But Mateo says it's right. If it's something that bothers you but something that you really, you know, that is really going to affect the way you feel about yourself, then it's worth experience, you know, that it's worth looking into everything. Now I personally think that it's not that big a deal. Women like a bold guy, I'll tell you, you know, like, but that's not what you're doing it for. You're doing it for yourself and it's your own confidence. And if you don't have the confidence, then yeah,

think about other stuff. Personally, I love, you don't have the confidence, then yeah, think about other stuff. Personally, I love, I don't know. There's a real power to looking fucking stupid and not giving a fuck, right? There's a power to picking everything that society says is ugly and being like, it's working though, ain't it? You know, there's something to confusing people

with your very existence. I don't think you got that in you, pal. I don't know, you know, you have to make a decision. I think shaving your head is a good look. I did that for a while. I don't think you have the ability to pull off the bald pony. That's a fucking high level maneuver. And like Mateo said, maybe you look at the surgery, you know, and you really think about it, you'd be surprised how many

people have that by the way. A lot more, it's weird that people don't, you know, men don't really talk about it. It's like shameful to have surgery. It's like, you know, women have plastic surgery, but men never do. I know I say this from a place of privilege, but the bald guy's really, it really is like a mental thing when you're going. Truly, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it does destroy some people. And if you can come, if you come across it stronger,

that's an even, you have even more, you're proving something more if you can just be like, yeah, what, who gives a fuck? But no, most people don't. Yeah. And that is like, look, the rock Jason Stathom, you know what I mean? You can be a fuck, like a lot of Eastern European people

that don't even, guys that don't even think to have low self esteem. Yeah. But yeah, just think of like, how many cool people that are who are fucking involved. Yeah, exactly. And like, I don't know. Nobody gives, that's the only thing.

It's one of those things where you decide how much it's going to affect you right because the world doesn't yeah a lot of people are Bald is fuck yeah, and again It's not even an attractiveness thing because some women actually like it like that's their thing in a in a weird way Or the very least it doesn't bother them obviously some some aren't, some like want a fucking head full head hair. Yeah. So it really is your own thing. It's the same thing with like gray hair or something. That's such a big thing.

Like, I mean, I've got some gray hairs in definitely. But you can, whoa, what the fuck? But you can look like a piece of ass. Yeah, yeah. Think like how many just sexy ass people like that are with like gray hair. Come on, dude. Men and women like, oh dude, a woman with gray hair is hot. Honestly I'm trying to think who the fuck who's the lady I saw with gray hair that I wanted to fuck

I don't know. It's just men for some reason that I'm thinking about Clooney come on. Yeah, it looks great. I suck off Richard gear Of course dude I was thinking maybe once I was thinking my whole life has been zigging and sagging. I cut the first sign of starting to go bald, I buzzed it. Cause I was like, I'm gonna get ahead of this. Yeah. I think I was what, 20 probably.

Oh yeah, maybe a couple years older, but yeah. I don't think, dude, I think I was 20. Cause I didn't even do it at the end of college. I didn't like in the middle of college But yeah, 2021 most people were still like I started thinking about it started feeling that way I was like fuck it. I'm just gonna be this and now where when in your 30s when people start buzzing I Grow it out. Yeah, so what I think I'm gonna do is when I'm like 50 it that's when I get plugs I'm gonna get plugs when I'm like 50, that's when I get plugs. I'm gonna get plugs when I'm 50 or maybe 60.

You're just an old man with long ass hair, beautiful head of hair. So even like, you're shaving your head is like a great example, because like for a while, it was like, damn, sov is just like shaved head guy. Yeah, you were rocking it. I was rocking it. I didn't think twice of it.

No. It's crazy to think back on that, because that was like a whole different, look Yeah, and you were rocking it. I was rocking it. I didn't think twice of it. No. And it's crazy to think back on that because that was like a whole different, a whole different person almost. Different look. And then when I went completely, and then because I kept it like a little bit for a while, and then when it, even that was like,

all right man, you're bald, I was like, fuck it, skin. And that was a powerful look too. I was looking good back then. And now, whatever that is, this my property whatever you want to call You know you're making that work too and it's hard to imagine you was like any different any different

I know I look at my I look I was like I can't believe I didn't have the shit longer I was like why didn't I grow this beautiful, but it would it worked at the right time So it's up to you buddy. I don't know. Maybe we should do that if this podcast hits a hundred thousand dollars a month I will get hair plugs That's the official you heard it here first books hundred grand a month. I'm getting plugs All right, let's do one more else. Let's finish off Okay, let's finish off strong here off. Okay. Let's finish off strong here. Have some good old fashioned career advice. Let's do it.

Tom Rose you're in luck with the eating mother fucker you I love you man. I got I got a question. So I've been working at the post office now for about a year. I'm 24 and it's a good job. But I don't know if it's what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I don't know if I love it enough to keep going down this road. And I don't want to go down this road far enough to where I can't choose a different life path. You know what I mean? If you got a need for me, I'd really appreciate it. Anyway, keep being beautiful and big baby.

Alright, well do you have any other passions you fucking dumbass? Cause it sounds like you're in a good spot. Honestly, I think a really good way to go about, like, look, I'm somebody that I did have a very specific passion from the time I was pretty young, right? Like, I started doing open mics when we were in our freshman year of college. I crashed at your apartment in College Park, Maryland, so that we could do DC mics.

My first ever open mic was at a seafood restaurant in College Park. You were there. There's me, you, a homeless guy, and eight other comics, right? And I knew what I wanted to do from a very young age. And honestly, that in and of itself is kind of a gift that not a lot of people have, right? Like sometimes I talk to friends of ours or whatever who don't like their jobs, but don't know what the fuck to do otherwise. And it's like, I see even even though stand-up comedy was objectively stupid, it excited me. I loved it. I couldn't wait to do it. I didn't mind being broke for 10 years.

I didn't mind when we moved into this apartment, sleeping in a windowless room. And even the idea that I would waste my time in a real job instead of doing it drove me crazy. I even tried to go back to college. Like I was in college the whole time, but I stopped. I did stand up for two years, and then when I was 20, 21, I was like, I have to give, you're, when I was

20, I started, and I was like, I have to give school real shot. And for one year, I quit stand up, and I was like, fuck it. I'm going to give like school and a real job a shot. And I couldn't fucking do it. It drove me fucking crazy. Do you have something like that, my friend? Do you have something that you have a passion or do you just generally think you don't wanna get locked in? Because that's also a very regular human emotion too. When you're on a good path that feels okay

but not fully satisfying, you're like, well, I gotta look at something else. Unless you have something that you fucking love so much that you're like being working at the post office is taking away from that, I don't know. I actually think the idea that you have to get all your satisfaction from work is kind of stupid. Like that's not everybody.

Not everybody, you know what I mean? Like, in fact, that's not, I'll say this, that's nobody. Even me, who has, who this was my dream and it did become my job and I'm very happy and I'm very, you know, lucky for that. I don't feel like I'm a stunted human being. A lot of entertainers, a lot of people in, in athletes, entertainers, whatever, even like

something as weird as like a politician or something, people in the public eye, whatever, artists in general, whatever, who people that really, or just career driven people, let's say just even business people that are fucking super successful, people that pour too much effort into their job, they are some of the least happy, least fulfilled people, least complex people. And I find myself being in a situation where I'm very happy with how my career is going.

And I'm working pretty hard. This last year has been really super busy. But to be honest, it's been a detriment of my personal life where I don't see my family as much. I don't have very deep, meaningful, like dating relationships, because I'm always traveling. I had to hire my best friend to hang out with him. You know what I mean? So the post, now, and that brings us back to your situation where the post office is actually

a pretty good job. Like it's, you know, you get benefits and I'm pretty sure you can retire at a relatively young age. And like I know people who went into the army at 18 or were, you know, or there's a comedian, there's a comedian, there's like a cop at 18. They were for 20 years, they get their pension

and they're, you know, 40-year-olds essentially. They're 45 years old with a pension, with retired, whether that's army, whether that's whatever, whether that's post office, like, I don't know when the retirement age is for a post office worker, but I think you probably could do that. They've, you know, raised a family,

they've done other things that were, that they found really meaningful, and they're still relatively young people with the time to explore things. Or if you don't want to have a family, you don't want to do that shit, do you have other things that you love? Do you have other things? Like, what is this job stopping you from? Are you an artist? Are you a musician? What are your passions?

And can you do those in tandem with your job? Because I will tell you, no job is going to make you happy. And if you have a pretty solid one that gets benefits and you can retire at a relatively early age which I believe working for the post offices, maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe it's not the worst, you know, the worst thing. Now, do you have a passion that keeps you up? Doesn't sound like you do. You say you sound like just kind of a generally disaffected guy, but unless there's some other road that you want to go down, I would say stick to it. And you know, I was always jealous of those guys that were like, or even people that had

kids young, like people my age would kids would be like 20 or whatever. And they have like a, or somebody who had a teen, like a teen kid. Yeah, your kids 18 before your 40. Kids 18, that's awesome. That's awesome. You have a fucking kid. You know what I mean? Like, you don't gotta be like 53 thing about,

oh, how am I gonna pay for college and shit? Yeah, dude. I'm sick of fucking working. Let's say we have kids at like 36, and that's relatively quick, we're 33. Let's say we have kids at 37. Yeah. Pack on 18 years from that.

What the fuck is that? 65? 38 plus. We're fucking stupid. 55. Oh, we got the Google. That's 55. 36 plus 18.

That's 55. That's 54, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Alright, whatever. Still pretty old. There's supposed to 40. Yeah. So yeah, anyway, I don't pretty old, there's supposed to 40. Yeah. So yeah, anyway, I don't think you have,

do you have another passion, if not, stick with it. Look at post office. Look at post office. What do they retire? Retirement age, yeah. I'd be very curious. What are we gonna do? If you leave with five or more years of service, you are eligible for a deferred retirement benefit at age 62 or later.

If you leave with at least five years, but less than 10 years, you're eligible to apply for retirement at age 62. So it sounds like you're a lifer, but I think I think sucks. Yeah, but I guess it's not like a cop or something. They probably take you out the trenches and like put you in the buildings or something, which, yeah, I've seen some miserable looking people in like, there's a guy in back in Baltimore County whenever I go home who's just, he looks so miserable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can tell he's a lifer,

he's just riding an absolute tire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's moving like a snail's pace. You're waiting in line for talking. Well, that's just riding an absolute time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's moving like a snail's pace. You're waiting in line for fucking. Well, that's the end of the ever. Yeah. And he just like clearly doesn't really care about customer service, getting the good customer experience.

That's a good job to have if you don't want to be bad at your job. No one ever gives a fuck at the post office. I don't know. I mean, the post office seems like such a hard job to get in general. And also, I feel like, I mean, the post office seems like such a hard job to get in general and also I feel like, I mean, I just think of my dad who like got a job there when he was like late 30s, early 40s or whatever

and he kind of hated it, but he was like kind of old by the time he saw that dude. If you're 24, like, it's probably such a sick job, you get to like just be outside and shit. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it's like- I know a couple, I mean, I don't think he's a mailman. I know people who are mailmen who maybe that's why I have this thought that they were just like,

yeah, I'm just gonna retire relatively earlier. So I don't know. But it seems like better than like sitting in an office if you're 24 and like restless and shit. Yeah, I don't know. Just exploit it and you know, yeah, you get like benefits and shit. It seems like a decent gig.

Yeah, also the general idea that a job is gonna solve shit for you, right? It's not true. That's the other thing. No one will take your like post office job boy and you're like, who am I? Right. Right.

Oh damn, well I got a good job. Right, right, that's the power to that. There is a total power to that. And it's like, yeah, you get to define yourself outside of your job as opposed to what you're asking us about, pal, which is, I need a job that defines me. There's pros and cons to both of those situations, obviously, but I think you're in a pretty good space.

Yeah. That's gonna do for us folks. I started getting hungry in the middle of that question. I had a late breakfast and I'm fucking, I'm still hungry. So we want to thank our friend Mateo Lane, you know, he's getting a COVID test right now, wherever the fuck he's going.

Thank you, everybody who called in. We want to talk about Paris a little bit, just to fucking, you know, do the recap. But also Mateo is just fat. I mean, his life is so fat. That was my favorite part of this episode where we started talking about his weird, but he being claws into the mic or Joanne's fabric

and his weird fucking grandfather and shit. But thank you guys so much. We appreciate it. We got wrapped up again. This happened sometimes with guests where we just get wrapped up in the talk and we don't get to as many questions as we'd like. But we're gonna start getting heavy with the questions. We got to start answering more of your fucking queries.

But thank you, keep calling in, keep listening, tell your friends, subscribe to our Patreon. If you like to show and you want extra content, we do a bonus episode every week. We just had Sean Patton on and I don't know who we have. Maybe I think Karen Fien is this week. This bonus coming up, we think so. We already recorded it, but I don't know which order have. Maybe I think Karen Fien is this week. This bonus coming up. We think so we already recorded it But I don't know which order is gonna go in but anyway guys. Thank you. We love you and we'll talk to you next time. Bye I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem.

Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around. And remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.

traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.