Stay Tranquilo - “I Get To Do This”: Discipline, Faith & Becoming Your Best with Donny Joshua-Felix

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

Today on the Stay Tranquilo Podcast, Andre sits down with Donny Joshua-Felix — performance coach at DBC, lifelong runner and former Howard University soccer player — for a real conversation about identity, faith, discipline, and the mindset it takes to actually become the person you say you want to be.From growing up in a Haitian Christian household (grandfather a pastor, dad a church musician) to chasing PRs, missing them, and learning not to attach self-worth to results, Donny breaks down the habits and reframes that changed his life: “I don’t have to — I GET to.” We get into stillness, gratitude, journaling, the “no snooze” rule, teaching youth athletes, and why choosing the harder right (over the easier wrong) builds real self-trust.If you’re into mindset, performance, faith, running, or just need a reset on your daily standards, this one’s for you.In this episode you’ll learn:The power of “I get to” — turning discipline into gratitude-driven actionWhy perfection is a trap and how to detach identity from outcomesSimple daily wins that stack confidence (no-snooze, make your bed, move your body)How to use stillness/meditation to hear your intuition againReframing self-talk: replacing limiting labels with identity statementsCoaching youth athletes to be resilient humans first, players secondWhat to do when you’re “doing everything right” and still not hitting goalsHighlights & TopicsFaith & family roots → leadership and serviceHoward University soccer → performance coach at DBCRunning mindset: smiling through pain, training without egoThe “future you” filter: will you be proud of this choice tonight?Social media courage: sharing your story to help one person is enoughGuestDonny Joshua-Felix — Performance Coach at DBCIG: @donnyjoshuaCoaching/Bookings: https://www.dbcfitness.com/Connect with Stay TranquiloSubscribe for weekly episodes on growth, culture, and communityTimestamps (add after upload)00:00 Intro — “Life is a blessing”00:xx Faith & family foundation00:xx Howard U, soccer & music00:xx DBC coaching & daily routine00:xx Running, PRs & resilience00:xx Gratitude, stillness & mindset00:xx Coaching the next generation00:xx Final takeaways & challenge  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I get to do this. This is a blessing. Life is a blessing. I should treat it as such. Yeah. Amen to that, man. What is going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the Stay Tranquilo podcast. Today we're joined by the man, Donny Joshua, who I got the privilege of meeting at an Alec Ingold event in partnership with Lulu Lemon. And the moment I heard you talk, I knew that you had to come on the podcast. It just hit me in that moment. So I just want to say, first off, thanks for for coming on and taking the time to do this. Of course, no problem. It's my pleasure.

I was excited when you first mentioned it back in, I believe, May. Yeah. And I was looking forward to it since then. And when you reach out, I was like, oh, yeah, come on, let's do this. Let's do it, yeah. And congrats on the space and everything you've built, super impressive and inspiring. I appreciate that, man. I think timing is always key in all these things.

So at that moment, we didn't have a space. So to be able to make that connection at that point, And then fast forward to today to be able to make this happen here, I think makes it that much more special. So I'm hype for today. I think that night when I was there hearing both you and Alex speak, you know, there was so much value that came out of it. And I definitely want to touch on a lot of the things that you spoke about from that event. But more than anything, I want to hear your story first, right? Just hear who you are, who's Donnie.

How did Donnie become the man that he is? today. This is a fun question. Yeah. I was born and raised in South Florida. I always tell people Aventura, but it's really Ives Dairy. Okay. It's in between Aventura and Miami Gardens, Ives Dairy, Haitian American, played soccer all my life.

And I think, well, soccer is the foundation of who I am and my faith, being grown into a Christian family. My grandfather is a pastor, my dad. I was a musician at church. My uncle was the pastor, grew up in the church, played drums all my life. So those two things definitely built the foundation of who I am. Being a drummer, playing soccer, being raised in the church, and being shown leadership through my grandfather, through my dad, who was also a teacher slash musician,

and getting exposed to a lot growing up that over time realized that that was the inspiration for, who I wanted to become. Maybe it didn't all make sense back then, but when I looked back at it, I play soccer all my life. I went to Howard University and played soccer there on a scholarship. Was in the music program for a bit there. Graduated, tried to pursue

a career professionally. And then it was during those four years after experiencing everything that I've experienced literally created the core of why I do what I do on a daily basis, what my life looks like, what I try to practice and accomplish and help others accomplish in their lives. And what does the life of Donnie look like today? And I want to dive in a little bit of the past and, you know, obviously how it shaped you today. But tell us a little bit about what you do today.

Today I'm a performance coach physically and mentally. I work at DBC. I've been there since 2021. I started off as an intern, became full-time in 2023. And my day-to-day looks like waking up and spending some time with myself and then pouring into clients from about 7 to 1, 7 to 2 on a daily basis, then going on a run or workout, maybe then coming back to the gym, working with more clients, and then also teaching.

youth athletes soccer and helping them just building the mindset of an athlete and individual who's resilient and understands what their mission is, not just on the field, but in life. And just give you all, try to learn from everything, grow on a daily basis and believe in yourself at the end of the day. Absolutely. So that's what I would say my day-to-day looks like. Just trying to continue to empower myself and then be able to help empower others. Yeah, I don't know, no doubt.

So you talk about how you grew up, you know, kind of like around a household where you had an uncle that was a pastor, your family was involved in the church. How much of that today has influenced, like, your spirituality. I remember in the time that we got to hear you speak, you know, your spiritual aura, I guess you could say, was shown that night. So tell me a little bit of how much that impacted your spirituality today. I think overall it's definitely impacted my spirituality. It's definitely funny as a child you grew up, especially if you grew up in a household like I grew up in or environment, your family's Christian, your grandfather's the pastor. There's a lot of attention on you growing up at church, good and bad.

And also because I played drums, I essentially lived in the church. But sometimes as a kid, you're like, this is not what I want to do. Not that I didn't want to be in church, but it's just like it was a lot. my job on Sunday was I'm in church because I was getting to church with my dad. We were up every Sunday like at 6 a.m. Or sometimes I was out late or then I was at church from 7 to 1. Took a little break. We had family lunch and then I was back from 7 to 9 night service to Haitian church.

I didn't speak. I never ended up learning Creole fluently. But my family is as Haitian as it gets. My parents just didn't actually spend time speaking it to us. I understand it. can hold my own, but just never learn how to fluently speak it. So church wasn't as fun because, again, too, I was fighting against the language. Yeah.

And I probably was the rebel in my family. All the negative things that could happen or the things that my parents were preaching kind of essentially maybe went in one year and out the other. But after moving away to school in D.C., I started to definitely better my relationship. with my faith and just wanted to stay true to what I was exposed to growing up. And I think I realized about myself when it was my own decision to want to go to church and want to figure stuff out for myself, I did better than it worked for me. Right. As opposed to it kind of being shoved on you and it being somebody else's choices.

And I've learned for myself, that's how a lot of life is for me. If you give me homework, it might, it's harder for me to do it if it's not me deciding, I want to get this done. or I want to go get a run in. I want to do this. I'm learning to better that relationship and not keep playing that story in my head that, you know, if somebody else has me do it,

now I don't want to do it or it's just harder to do it. But, yeah, so that definitely shaped who I was, my faith, knowing there's something bigger than me, understanding a lot of the principles like the Ten Commandments, trying to be kind to others, treat others how you want to be treated, not to lie, not to still. Not to say I didn't do any of those things growing up,

but you just had a base. You knew better. So you tried to be better, make others around you, feel better, and maybe be the example. And then deeper, I always, in my head, I'd be like, I'd never be a pastor. Like my grandfather or uncle, my dad's a teacher. I'm like, don't want to teach.

Didn't want anything to do with that. But then when I remember stepping back and looking at my life at the things I'm doing now, it's like, okay, I'm not a pastor, but I'll hop on Instagram and try to encourage others to live a better life or think highly of themselves. I'm not a teacher, but my job is to teach a client how to move, how to believe in themselves, how to empower themselves. And then with kids, again, I'm not in a school, which I have spent time in the school system, but I'm teaching on a daily basis.

So it's funny to see everything come full circle. The stuff that I was like, I know for sure I wouldn't be doing. I'm doing to an extent, just maybe in my own way. Yeah. It is crazy, like, the phenomenon. And when you're saying that, like, it's making me think of, like, my past, too. I grew up going to Catholic school. My family's Catholic.

So I've always been around, like, that ecosystem. And, you know, I remember I was always a very good kid. You know, always kind of followed the rules. And I didn't really create many problems. But as I got older, I'm like, you know, I felt like I never was able to like really like be myself, you know, because I just felt like I had to follow the rules. And my job was to make my parents happy, make sure I got good grades and do well in my

sports and call it a day after that, right? And be respectful. And those are all great things at the core, but they're not, it's not a way of living. And you brought up something like, yeah, I may have stole. Yeah, I may have done this. I may have lied. Right. Like, those are things that, like, kind of create character in the process.

And it's not about repeating those things, but it's about making sure that, okay, I did make that mistake, have that level of awareness, and then making sure I don't repeat those mistakes. Yeah, 100%. Having those true values at the core of everything that you do on a daily basis. 100% because it's who you are. And I think in college, and maybe even says in the Bible, there's a difference between the person who knows better and decides not to do. do better than the person who doesn't have the self-awareness, they grew up in a certain environment where that's essentially all they know. It's the punishment is lesser on them just because that's what they were exposed to.

But when you know better and you decide not to do better, that's an intentional act on your part. Absolutely. So like you were just saying, like I was saying, I've done it all. I'm by far not a saint or angel, but it's through those experiences and understanding how they made you feel and just knowing that this is not what I was taught. I know better and I'm going against it. And this is why I may feel the way I'm feeling in the negative mindset or just experience of life.

And it's a simple change. Okay, well, I know better. Let me start to do better because the more I go against that, the more self-confidence I lack. The more I'm not in alignment to who I am and my ability to make a choice on a day-to-day basis that is in alignment, is in alignment with who I want to be. No, that's a phenomenal point. And something that I think a lot of people struggle with, right, like in this dynamic of, you know, trying to be good and do the right thing is like this fine line of like what they say perfection, right?

Like people want to strive for perfection when reality is perfection's unachievable, right? So how do you walk that fine line of realizing like, I'm not going to strive for perfection, but I do want to be great, right? How do you balance that? So I agree. Perfection is unachievable. Nobody's perfect. We all have our flaws. I think you can strive for it. And I think you do that by, again, understanding your core values, understanding what you believe, understanding yourself, being true to yourself. And follow your intuition. Do the things that you know you should be doing. We all know right from wrong. And you can distinguish that. Look at the right side or look at the left side, and then the wrong side. Right now it's on my right. And then make those decisions.

You wake up every day, you have a choice. You start off with a choice. Do I press snooze or do I get up? You pick snooze. You already started off on the wrong foot, essentially. You know that you want to get in shape. You should be moving, especially maybe if you were an athlete or whatnot. You decide to skip that workout later on that night or the next morning, you're going to regret it.

That's a form of just, choosing the right decision. You know what your responsibilities are. You know the promises you made to others and to yourself. The more you can act in alignment with those things and choose the more difficult decision or the harder decision, the closer you get to perfect. And again, it's not trying to be perfect,

but you know what makes you satisfied. I, for myself, understand what I'll be proud of and what I won't be proud of. And the more I choose the decision that's going to make me proud, which is most of the time, the uncomfortable, harder decision. Like, I'm sleepy right now.

I want to go home and take a nap or whatnot. Or I can get my run in or can get this workout in and go against how I'm feeling because I have higher values and know that that's just me just maybe feeling lazy in the moment. But I know the promise I made to myself

and let me go get this run in. Because after him, be like, oh, yeah, good job. Proud of you. That's a win. Let me go get this workout in because 10 minutes into it, you're like, ah, this feels right. If I go home and I don't take a nap because I wasn't actually feeling tired, I just get on my phone, I call somebody and whatnot. And I do that over a period of time, then I'm losing the ability to make the right decision.

I'm losing confidence, deep confidence in myself to show up. And it's about showing up for yourself, being honest with yourself and trying to build on that as much as you can. Stack it, stack it, stack it. and it becomes less of a decision, it just becomes who you are. I do what I say I'm going to do. I made a promise to somebody I'm going to show up. I know that I'm going to be proud of this decision

when I go to sleep, and I'm going to sleep a lot better because I did it. Right. That's true. I mean, when you do the things that you're supposed to do, right, like you said, it may be uncomfortable, right? You may not want to do it, but it's changing those wants into must, right?

And I think a lot of us know that we have to do certain things, but sometimes we fall victim into our mind and allow our mind to convince ourselves to not do those things. And I think that's that, what's that word? Like, I don't want to say like domination of the mind, but it is a form of domination, right? Like where you almost have, like, you know, you see the angel and the devil on each side of the shoulders and one's telling you one thing and the other thing's telling you another thing, right? And in our subconscious we know what we need to do, but sometimes we just, let our mind trick us into convincing us not to do those things.

100%. I think it's the way you frame it because it's like technically, if we're being extremely technical, you don't have to do anything. You can go home and go to sleep and watch as much Netflix as you want, eat whatever you want, do whatever you want. But there's consequences to everything, good and bad. What's definitely helped me and empower me over the last years is just reframing the conversation in my head.

I don't have to do it. I get to do it. I don't have to go on a run. I get to go on a run and use my body and get a good sweat in and get in the sun and just feel amazing after. Catch a natural high. I don't have to work out. I get the opportunity to go build myself up and improve my mindset because I'm doing something challenging that builds mental fortitude. I don't have to eat the healthier option.

I get to. I live in a country where we or a state, Miami, a city, but we have a lot of options for healthy foods. So I get the opportunity to do this. That helped. And it became clear to me when I got injured. And I was in a cast and crutches for six weeks. And that's when the light bulb switch is like, oh, wow.

I do actually enjoy running because now that it's taken away from me, I miss it. I'm craving it. Now when I'm going to the gym, I'm on crutches or I'm walking in the school that I was working at. And it's a battle to walk. Or when you just get sick, and now you can't breathe the same, your eyes are watering, your nose is stuffy. It's like, oh, wow, I value my health way more than I realize. Sometimes it's better not to wait until it gets taken from you. Right.

To start to frame the conversation in your head. I don't have to do anything. I get to this. This is a blessing. Life is a blessing. I should treat it as such. Yeah. No, amen to that, man.

I don't think you could have said any better. and, you know, that concept of I get to do something comes from that place of gratitude. 100%. Talk to me about what that gratitude practice looks like for you. I think we hear the term, and it's very easy to say, you know, I'm thankful for this or I'm thankful for that. But to really feel, and this is just my personal opinion of, like, I know what I'm supposed to be grateful for, right? I'm supposed to be grateful for my health and I'm supposed to be grateful for my family, my friends, right? Like all the things that, like, you could just jot down.

but to really feel from like a deep level gratitude. Like what does that mean and how do you get to experience that? My relationship with gratitude has gotten better in the last year or so. And I think it starts with two things. First, giving yourself an opportunity or making the intention to slow down, whether it's on the weekends or waking up before you need to get up or in the evening, putting your phone down, spending genuine time with yourself,

processing your thoughts, and then start to think, what are the things that I have that I maybe couldn't live without a home or AC or food? I thought you couldn't live without it, but those small things when you put it into perspective, it is a huge blessing. On my runs, I see tons of, of homeless people

laying out and I see them on a consistent basis and it's like wow you do take for granted having AC at night having a comfy bed at night

the ability to wake up and decide I want to go on a run I want to go work out I think spending a lot of time alone processing your thoughts processing where you're at processing where you've been

where you want to go and understanding just having the ability to do those things is a huge win, but it starts off with stepping out of your routine for a second, a minute, 30 minutes, an hour, and deciding to, deciding to, deciding to spend time thinking on those things. You have to slow down.

If you're so caught up in work, you're so caught up in what other people are doing by social media or whatnot, and you don't take the time out to maybe take a paper out and list the things you're thankful for or grateful for or you'll miss it and you the end of the year is upon us September is on Saturday or Sunday which is insane yeah but um it's through those practices taking time out of my day to listen to my thoughts to ask myself like deeply think about it what are you grateful for and that's helped a ton but also when you put focus on the things that you're grateful for, they can enlarge in. Because if your focus is on what you don't have, if you're always thinking lack, you're always needing more and more, that's just going to widen. You'll never be

satisfied or grateful or thankful for what you have. And if your focus is on what you don't have, you'll never be, you'll never be able to be grateful. Absolutely. Because you're paying attention to everybody else. You're comparing yourself. You're not thinking about all the blessings that you do have, all the blessings that you've been afforded. Your family is healthy. You have a job. You may not like it. It may not be the dream job, but you still have a job.

It's still helping you to do whatever you're doing. Just pay attention to what you're focusing on. Learn what abundance means. Learn what, look up the definition of gratitude. And start to improve your relationship with it. So I think those two things. Pay attention to where your focus is, because where your focus goes, your energy will flow from.

but then also making intentional time to slow down, whether it's weekly, daily, monthly. I think it should be every day. It should be a daily thing. It should be a daily thing. Well, you're just putting it phone down. Make silence a priority. That's a big thing for me.

I know I always use music as a crutch for something or listening to something or wanting to read something. And it's like, or drugs or alcohol or any of those things. And it's like, what are you running away from? Why aren't you giving yourself time to listen to yourself, process your thoughts, figure out where I'm at in order to decide where I want to go. Yeah, there's power in stillness, right? And that's, when you actually experience that stillness, it's crazy what you can find. Like, oh, my God, it's wild. It's wild. And a lot of times, like, you know,

oh, I'm looking for the answers or I'm looking for that clarity. I'm like, well, when's the last time you actually sat down and just listened? You know, you're so quick to grab the phone and you're so quick to, you know, go out with your friends and whatever. Those are things that are part of life. But if you really want to do the deep work, you got to actually sit with yourself and embrace that uncomfortable. It's hard. It's hard.

It's hard as shit. It's so hard. And we all struggle with it. But that's where the answers lie. You know, you have all the answers inside of you. But if you're not making time to sit with yourself, you'll never figure it out. Because one, you probably don't know where you're at, nor you don't know what you're trying accomplished and I've been making a point to literally take out a timer and put 15 minutes.

No music, no nothing, just sit. It's a challenge because in this life we're taught to be stimulated every second. We have a distraction, which is our phone. We don't realize we're flipping through social medias, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and back. And you do it all in like three minutes. I'm way more aware of it. And I'm not free.

free of it. I do it as well, but it sticks out to me just like we all have our head and phones and we are all like have the attention span of a toddler and unless you take the time to one, be honest and

decide, okay, I want different. I want to improve my attention span. I want to improve my focus. I want to learn what it means to be present and things won't change and you won't be able to hear where your intuition is guiding you. What's right? What's wrong and it's it's a non-stop game.

It's, you know, you know, obviously, like with the physical component, right? Like, we take, you know, we hear the priority of like, you know, running and lifting weights and moving your body, like the same thing that you do to take care of your physical, you've got to take care of the mental. A thousand percent. The mental has its own gym, right? And that comes in the form of maybe meditating or journaling and spending some time in nature, reading, right?

Like, sitting in that. silence with yourself. And I remember when I started meditating years ago, there was always, at church you always heard like, be still and know I'm God, right? And had no idea what that meant when I was young. Like not even a clue. I'd be still no. I would say it all over, all the time, no idea. And I remember one day meditating, it came up in a meditation, just, you know, how thoughts arise in meditation. Be still know I'm God. And I'm like, holy cow, all right. I completely understand what this means. It's like here in the stillness is where I'm connecting to my deepest self, the source. The highest energy possible is within all of us. And in that moment

is when you have the privilege to be able to connect with the higher being. And in that, you get to learn and discover so much and feel so much, you know, the good, the bad, the ugly, everything, right? But that's where you're really going to evolve as a human being and just I feel like it's almost kind of backwards, right? Like we're born into this world connected to our core, connected to our highest being when we don't know anything about life, right? And then we work and we're stimulated by all these things that happen in life on a daily basis that almost takes us away from a source.

And our job is to almost bring ourselves right back to like that moment of connecting to source. And I think if we did more of that, we just be happier beings and just live so much like freer lives. Number 10% learn how to just be. Yeah, just be. Literally because we're human beings and you don't have to try to become anything or or you don't have to try. Right.

It's not about becoming. It's about being. Yeah. Learn who you are and be that on a daily basis. Be true to that. Life has shaped you to become somebody. and you have certain preferences and you know what makes you feel good or what doesn't make you feel good or what motivates you and what doesn't.

And again, I think it takes that stillness. It takes that time alone to really be able to process those things and reflect. How did I get here? What shaped my life, good and bad? What did I learn from my parents that I do like and I think will help to continue move me forward? and what do I maybe want to distance myself from? That was just kind of given to me. I didn't choose to think like that

or I didn't choose to have this practice and let me learn to rebuild that relationship. For me, something like communication wasn't my best thing, not being able to speak up for myself or when maybe conflict rose. And growing up, I just remember always feeling so scared to say certain things on my mind. I'm on the road home with my parents.

It's not that they made me feel uncomfortable. I remember playing a game in my head. All right, count to 14. 14 is my number for soccer or count to five. Once you get to 14, you'll say it. Sometimes 14 will come. I'm like, all right, do it again. I'm like, do it again, do it again.

I'm not ready yet. And over time, that becomes who you are. And it starts to leak into every situation where it's time to speak up for yourself, to voice your opinion, to be brave, and to not let the voice in your head win. And again, that's something I think I picked up from life. And at some point I'm like, I don't want to feel like this.

I hate how it makes me feel. I want to speak up. I deserve to speak up. I can speak up. Let me practice doing that in the smallest ways on a daily basis. Let me start convincing myself that I can. You express yourself. You're confident.

You believe in yourself. You stay true to yourself. and then back that by actions in small little ways. I realize it's deeper than that. It's like, okay, well, make the promise, keep the promises you make to yourself. Yeah. And do that on a daily basis.

Because if you can build that confidence with yourself, then when it's time to do it for others or with others, it'll be fine. You've been practicing it. Exactly. So. Yeah. No, it's, it's so true.

And, you know, we talk about it, right? And it's obviously easier said than done. 100%. But it goes back to, you know, what we were just speaking about. Like, it's keeping those promises to yourself. And sometimes you get so uncomfortable with the day to day that you're just forced to like change has to happen.

Yeah, like it's, I can't live this way. Like I don't feel good. Yeah, my mind's wandering. I can't sleep, right? Like all these things that are happening. And eventually it's like, okay, I got to look at the whole picture here and figure this out because clearly God, the universe, whatever it may be, is telling you, hey, figure, you got to,

figure it out. You got to do your part. 100%. It's, it, it is a grind, but it is a rewarding grind at the end of day. Oh,000%. Life is a testament into embracing the grind and being comfortable with the uncomfortable. And it's funny. So my girlfriend's in the fitness space. She does Pilates, yoga, you name it. And she was leading a yoga class the other day. And, you know, the first thing that she started off with was, you know, what is going to be like your mantra going into this practice, right? And the first thing that came up to me was like be comfortable with the uncomfortable, right? Like there's so many facets to life, relationships, business, you know, your overall health, like certain things that are going to be uncomfortable,

but the more that you're willing to embrace that discomfort, it's only going to carry so much strength with you in the long run. And I remember like growing up, like you're always asking for strength and you're always asking for for clarity right but to get strength you have to deal with shitty stuff and discomfort to be able to build that strength that's where strength is built how do you get strong in the gym uncomfortable lifting weights running doing all these things like strength is built through discomfort and the more we embrace that it only is going to allow us to build that confidence to achieve those things the better life is life is already hard as hard as it is so you might as well on your own, put yourself through

hard situations on a daily basis, but I think that's all relative. You got to determine what's hard for yourself and start to defeat it. Start to win the hard, small little battles in your life. Again, I think it all starts with something as simple

as pressing snooze. Something as simple as waking up and deciding to make your bed. For me... It's a huge one. Yeah. It's such a small task that people are like, I'm just making my bed. You don't understand how much... Oh my God. Game changer, man. 100%.

And it's like you build a relationship with heart. Your heart may not be my hard. My heart may not be your heart. Amen. I always preach to dominate hard, to do hard things, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I would hope that it doesn't come off that I'm saying, do what I'm doing. Right. Or whatever.

Because, again, something that is easy for someone else may not be easy for you and vice versa. but I think running and playing soccer help to build that and make it a little more of a natural process for me in my life. I didn't want a coach to make me feel like I was going to die. So it's like, okay, well, let me go do that on my own and let me feel the embarrassment of not feeling fit

or, but at least I'm by myself. And I know if I do it on a consistent basis, I start to build some fortitude. And by the time I get to my coach, is you can't put me through anything that I haven't put myself through. And when you understand that, it's like, oh, okay, well, on my free time, I'll start doing hard things

and whatever that is. But I'll practice it and I'll get better at it. And I'll fail, but then I'll show up and do it again. And weeks and weeks of doing that, you start to see a new side of yourself. You start to realize, oh, wow, I'm capable of a lot more than I thought I was or what I was accustomed to. And it makes life a little more exciting.

You start to appreciate something challenging or hard because... Hey, you want to prove to yourself like, what can I can do? Literally. I just did this. Literally. Like, check that off the box. Now, like, now what's next? Yeah.

You ran a mile. Now it's like, I ran a mile and now I can run two. Right. Oh shit. I ran two. Now I can run four. Right. Right.

Right. And you just starts stacking that momentum. And confidence is built off of that. Mm-hmm. Trust in self. Trust in your ability to get comfortable, being uncomfortable. and you have a new lens to look at life through. You don't take anything personal.

It's like, oh, okay, well, this is a new challenge. Just like when I was a kid, I started off walking, then I got to running, and then I saw humans walking upstairs. I'm like, that's next. If I fall, I'm not looking around to see if anybody notice. I'm going to get up and go again, you know? I don't even know if I can get up these stairs. I don't know what it means when I fall,

but I just know I'm going to get up and try again. And even as a kid, again, you're older, you're playing a video game. You never play on the easy levels. You're like, put this on the hardest level. This is how I want to beat it. It's easy. I don't want it. So life is that.

You should seek discomfort and seek the challenging things because that's the only way you're going to grow and continue to grow. Hell yeah. That was so damn true. And I know you're a big runner, right? And you talked about how soccer obviously was like a big part of your life. But I want to touch on the running because runners to me are very unique people, especially people like yourself that competitively embrace that hard because it's lonely, right? Like it's just your thoughts going on out there on a long run.

And there was a point where I was doing a lot of long runs. And that was one of the hardest challenges for me is like how do you almost like occupy this space while you're out there for two hours, right? Talk to me a little bit about, you know, as a runner, like how does one control this up here, knowing that it's already hard physically, but it's really this. That is like the real challenging part. So knowing that, you just said it, you already know it's hard. Yeah. It's telling yourself how much harder it is in your head is going to make it easier or is it going to make it that much tougher?

Right. It's, I read it in a book called Endure, which I didn't necessarily understand that process until reading that book. but track coaches tell, I didn't run track, but track coaches tell their players to smile when they're in practice, when they're running their drills, try to stay as relaxed as possible. Because essentially whatever you're telling the mind, the body's going to take that on.

So yes, of course, we know running is hard. That's why you do it. But every day your runs shouldn't be a hard run because you're going to at some point break down. Yeah. Again, that maybe comes with knowing, running and understanding it. So it's just getting to know a little more

about the sport you're getting into, asking for help. But overall, it's learned to get in control of what you're telling yourself during that phase. On races, yes, you know it's hard, but you don't have to be like, yeah, this is so hard and I'm dying. Like, I don't think I can go anymore

because that's what you're going to, that's what's going to come out on the outside. So it's like, yeah, this is hard, but I do hard things. I love hard things because they make me believe in myself. I love hard things. because they make me grow, they make me faster. I'm here because I want to dominate hard.

It's not going to last forever. It's only a little pain. I could take it. Hopefully this doesn't kill me. Right. But again, smile. I try to practice it. And it's hard.

It's not easy. While you're running, you try to do like a smile. Yeah. But also, for me, I love listening to music. Like I said, I play drums all my life. And for me, running is like dancing and playing drums at the same time, depending on what's on my phone. And you can use that to your advantage.

For me, music is my crutch. Music helped me get to the track on the days. I didn't want to get to it. At some point, it was so bad that if I got to a track and I didn't have my headphones, I'm going home. I'm not doing this. At some point, I had to confront that. I'm just like, okay, I don't want to be so relying on the music.

I need to be the reason that I can put myself through these things. And again, the more you do it, the better your relationship gets with it. It's going to be uncomfortable. But if you can be mindful of that in the moment and be like, this is hard, but I love it. Or just tell yourself the opposite of what you're feeling. You can trick yourself into enjoying something that may not be as comfortable in the process and still get it done.

And I think the biggest thing to do is, all right, maybe whatever, it doesn't work. I was saying I love this and it still suck. but after you finish it, tell me how you feel. You feel accomplished, you feel proud. Do you feel like you can take on the world? That's the important feeling. You don't get up and go get a run. You don't get up and go do something challenging.

And not to the point where you're injuring yourself or anything, but once you stretch yourself after it, nobody ever says, oh, I'm so mad I got that workout in. Or I'm so mad I did that run. I'm so mad I got up early to see the sunrise or just go do the hardest thing first. I'm so mad at, I didn't press snooze, and I got up immediately and started my day

and had some time to myself. But normally when you choose the easy route, normally when you listen to the side of you that's saying you can't do something, you nine times out of ten are going to regret it. If you eat the fries or pizza. Every time. Yeah. Literally.

Very much every time. I don't think there's, I mean, very few moments. Probably 9.5 out of 10 times. Literally. And I think that's where people. as a society you myself as well we don't pay attention to that enough

it's like every day you come in the gym and you're like I'm hungover this feels horrible or whatnot are you not listening to you? Exactly that's like your body's saying like dude yeah let's make a different decision

you could have been waking up right now feeling 10 times better got to be this workout 10 times better than it would have been but you chose to make that decision the day before now you're feeling the effects of that decision Literally, literally.

So it's like being mindful of how you feel after you do something challenging or something that was a struggle. You don't make your bed in the morning and be like, ah, what the heck? No, you actually come back and you're like, ah, this feels calming. This feels, this is inviting. I didn't press snooze today. I had 30 more minutes to myself in the morning to understand how I'm feeling, checking with myself. What are my intentions for the day? What do I want to accomplish as opposed to pressing snooze, boom, now I have 15 minutes to get up.

And the first thing on my mind is what my boss needs done or what I didn't do. And now I'm in a state of rush. And now I'm cutting somebody off or flicking somebody off on the road. All because of that one tiny decision that I keep making every single day instead of, oh, okay, well, maybe I should go to sleep and put my phone down. I'm not going to regret getting eight hours of sleep as opposed to five. This show will be on tomorrow. I could watch it tomorrow. I can have this conversation tomorrow.

let me think about my future self. Is my future self going to be proud of the decision or is he going to regret it? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. And so you told me something that we were talking about offline before the pod, right? And it was around, you know, that you PR'd three years in a row. And then following those three, right, it was three years. So my first half marathon was in 2022.

My first four half marathons, I pared. Yeah. I ran the first one in October. I think I ran like a 131 or a 130 my first race, so boom, I had a base. My next one was maybe three to four weeks after that in November, I think I cracked under 130 or just right there.

And the next one was in December, and that's when I made a huge jump. I went from 130 to 127. So I'm just like, ah, yeah, like nobody can touch me. This is great. And I'm like, all right, well, the next race, which is the race I was preparing for,

was Miami that year, it was in 2023. Boom. I got another PR. I just fell on top of the world. I'm just like, ah, let's go. And I'm like, all right, what's next? I got to go do it again. And I had my fifth one, which was three weeks after that, after Miami.

And that's when I, and it wasn't a bad race, but ego and everything else that came with PRing, I was so disappointing because by mile eight or nine in my head, I was like, I can't take it there. I can't push past this discomfort or pain that I have been pushing past. And realistically, I was running a half marathon almost every three weeks, taking myself to a level. Yeah. That fifth run, that was, that's normal.

I broke down. That was a lot. I'm not a robot. But for me, it was a loss. If you look at the pictures from that race, because I knew at mile 8th, I was like, I'm not going to be able to do it. And I think in January, the Miami run was a 126th. that February, three weeks later, was maybe like a 128,

which if I kept going, I probably could have still did something closer to it or just did really good. But in general, a 128 wasn't bad, but because I was so hard on myself and was just focusing on the result and not necessarily understanding why I did because I think it was wanting to continue to get validated from PRing and people telling you, you're so fast and this and that, And that making me feel good, it was crushing to not get it, that fifth race. And that carried over for the next two years.

Because after that, I stopped running for a little. I was just like a little defeated and disappointed. I'm like, oh, I really wanted that fifth PR. And even though I just ran four PRs, I'm focusing on the fifth one that didn't go my way, that made everything seem like it didn't matter. Which sometimes I feel we can do. We can focus on what went bad as opposed to the good thing. we accomplish.

And that, like I said, fast forward the following two years, my next three or four races, granted my training wasn't consistent. I fell out of shape and whatnot, but got back to training and the goal was to PR again and every race got slower and slower.

I was just like, what the heck? And it was killing me inside. I'm just like, you suck. You're, you call yourself a runner. I'm like, you should take the time out of your bio because that's not who you are. And it was just defeating. And even training wasn't fun. My relationship with getting up and looking forward to go challenge myself and do my hard runs or do my long runs, it was all defeating.

Because I was putting a lot of internal pressure that wasn't needed. I was, again, focusing on a result and craving the validation that I got through those four first races. So it was a funny experience to PR of my first four races and then get slower on every one of my next, I think, four, three or four races. It was a humbling experience. Yeah. Not one I was open about. Took a lot of reflecting and racing and then stopping. And on my birthday last year, I did a race that was the first half marathon I ran in Cape Cod.

And I just knew I was like, I just had a good block of training. I hired a coach. I was working with her and training was cool. And I was like, all right, I'm going to go do this. The race landed on my birthday. And I was like, I'm going to go do this race on my birthday. I'm like, PR my birthday. It's going to be the perfect birthday ever.

My mom and brother came with me. And it was like, it was a part of me that I believe I was going to do that. But there's the other part of me that was just like, why would you choose to do this on your birthday? You know how you can be? And I even talk to myself, no matter what, you're not going to let this disrupt your birthday. You're going to still have a great day,

regardless of everything. the result and I think about mile six or seven I was like oops this is going to be the worst birthday because I just knew I knew I wasn't going to PR and it was a tough race and this was supposed to be a nice homecoming this is where I did my first half I come back here I smack that time I didn't even beat the time that I did it it was slower and I just could not fight it I was just like that birthday was pretty sad as much as I tried to be happy you were trying to convince yourself yeah 100% my mom My mother knew it. My brother knew it. I was quiet. I was just like, wow, you suck. You're a loser.

Being hard on yourself and whatnot. And again, I was like, all right, tried to bounce back. Did Miami this year. And again, the times got slower and slower. And that one literally was the most crushing one. It was just like, okay, something's got to give. I had to take a nice little long break from thinking about races. find the love in running and really ask myself, what are you doing this for? Why are you validating yourself off of runs? Why stop focusing on the result? With running, the margin is small.

If it's you PR or not, then you're going to be disappointed a lot more times than you may be happy. And it created a lot of internal pressure that even before, I couldn't sleep the night before the races. And not because of excitement, but just like scared already that I already know how I'm going to feel if this doesn't go my way. And you know in the middle of the run, the race, like by my three, my four, you're either, all right, let's take it to the next level in the moment or you're like, ooh, this is going to be a long race. And there was, sometimes I would say to my head, the win for those races where I knew I wasn't in a PR was honestly finishing.

Because everything in me wanted to go curl up in the bush and hide and just soak at the fact that I'm losing. I'm losing mentally and I'm not accomplishing my goal and I'm embarrassed and everybody's going to think I suck even though everybody's focused on their own lives and whatnot. It's just in your own head. And that gave me something to be a little proud about is that although I was feeling how I was feeling, none of those races did I decide to quit.

Still went, finished, took it to the chin. And I think now I'm in a space where I've learned the lesson. from them. I'm not attached to the result. I'm having more fun. I'm keeping the promises that I'm making to myself. I'm showing myself what I'm made of through small daily actions on a daily basis. And I can't wait to race again. And not that I need to prove anything to anybody or even myself, but I'm having fun with competition. I'm enjoying the process. I'm not really worried about the result. I know I'll get to where I'm supposed to get. When it's time.

It's interesting. And it's, it's a lot to digress in the fact that you obviously have a standard that you set for yourself, right? Yes. And we all set standards for ourselves because, one, you've done it. So it's like, you know, no, you can prove that to yourself that it could be done. Exactly. And there's so many things in life that, you know, I think you can connect this to, right? But when you don't hit those PRs or those goals that you have set for yourself,

obviously that kind of is like what we were talking about before, right, where you lose that confidence, right? One thing is, it's easy to, not easy, but you can build that confidence in the fact that when you do the things that you're supposed to do, you know, prove to yourself, that's one level of confidence, right? But how hard is it, right? When you're doing all the right things, at least that you think on paper, but then the goals are not met.

100%. That's like, that's one of the, you know, the toughest things because you feel like you're doing everything right like i'm putting in the time i'm putting in the effort i'm doing this i'm like i i i think i'm doing everything right but i'm not hitting the goal that i set for myself which i know is achievable like that is just like it's it's a tough pill to swallow it goes a little deeper i have to really think i'm just like well what about your mindset when you were waking up for the 5 a.m. practice or whatever practice or the days you did have hard runs you were telling yourself how much you didn't want to do it and there's a difference if

Two guys are going out to train and one guy's excited to get the hard, challenging work. And one guy's there, he showed up. He's putting for the effort. But in his head, I have to do this. I don't want to do this. That little thought process injects a certain energy or removes energy that you need to accomplish what you want to accomplish. And during those, that period of those races, my mindset was the, oh, man, like, I don't, I have this hard workout tomorrow. I don't want to do it.

I don't necessarily. I'm going to do it because I'm paying a coach and I do have a goal, but I don't, I'm not really here. I'm not excited to be here. The guy who's excited, who works hard, who has passion, who's doing all the small things, he's going to sleep on time, he's, he's hydrating, he's eating right, and he's framing the conversation in his head to his advantage. He's going to win. You're going to get what you want. And you also learn to Kobe Bryant says the best.

When or lose, you got to show up tomorrow and do it all over again. So don't be so focused on the results. The results are going to come. It's doing the things on a daily basis, talking to yourself, being kind of yourself, being your biggest fan, encouraging yourself when you need it. Things will fall into place. It's just when it's time to happen is going to happen. You know, the result is out of your control. You cannot decide that this championship, I'm going to get it.

You're on a team sport. Some things are out of your control. or somebody could just be better than you one day or a job could not be meant for you or a test can be, I failed my P.E. test. I was trying to be a P.E. teacher for four years after graduating college

because I was just like, I need some consistent money. And I felt by like two points. And when I look back at that, I'm like, oh, thank God I never passed that test. Because look at the life that I was able to build and from being true to myself instead of just settling for wanting security or whatnot. So sometimes it's just doing the right things

and letting things fall into place. What's meant for you is generally meant for you. If it doesn't go your way, simply just understand that, okay, there's something better. Or I wasn't supposed to be here. Or this is not a line for my true self because what's for you will be given to you at the end of the day. Yeah, control what you can control

and the rest is essentially out of your hands. 100%. And what you can control is your work ethic, evaluating and reflecting on what you did well, what you didn't do well, with the intent of, okay, well, I didn't hit it today. I'm going to become better from this

and hopefully hit it the next time. But if I don't, I'm not going to be so attached to the result of what happens, essentially, because it is very easy to attach your confidence and attach your identity to the results that happen in life. 100%. When reality is,

That's not stable. It's not stable at all. And then the result is only two seconds. You cross the finish line. It's like, oh, what's next? Right. And that moment that you hit the PR already, you're thinking about, all right, I'm going to hit the next PR.

Yeah, exactly. So it's just like, be mindful of your day to day. How are you spending your time? Who you're spending your time with? Are you spending your time as the best of your ability? Are you doing what you know you should be doing, what you said you're going to do? Right.

Are you giving your all? Are you getting better in small and tiny ways every day? And then the rest of the rest of you? you let happen. Are you treating others how you want to be treated? Are you treating others with respect? Do you make others around you feel empowered? Feel like they can achieve their goals. How do you talk to yourself? How do you talk to others? All these things are things you can ask yourself on a daily basis. Wherever you're at, you can inject a certain energy, a certain mindset through your actions, through how you treat yourself in private and things start to happen for you when that's your

outlook. And like you said, you learn to control what you can control. Yeah. Everything else, I can't force you to do something. I can't force you to think a way you don't want to think I can do my actions, be an example, and then maybe have an influence on how you look at life. But I can't make you give me a job. I couldn't force you to bring me on this podcast, you know? Yeah.

So it's like, oh, okay, well, what's in my control? Let me figure that out and then press down on the gas pedal. there's going to be subtle signs along that path, you know, along that journey while you're doing the things that, you know, you can control and that you believe in that are going to be signs saying like, hey, what you're doing is the right thing, right? And I struggle with it a lot, you know, where I'm like, shit, man, like I feel like we're doing everything right, but, you know, maybe this is not clicking or that's not clicking. But, you know, something will happen. It'll be like, you know what? Maybe this is what I wasn't essentially looking for in this moment, but it is a sign in a testament that, like, like, okay, what I'm doing is right.

You know, it resonated with this person. Or, hey, we got this phone call or this opportunity lined itself up. It's like, man, that wasn't what I was looking for. But it is a testament. So, like, something is happening. Yeah, it's being open-minded. And, again, where are you putting your focus? It's like, one person was touched by it.

And you know your job was done. Exactly. Just because the people that you wanted to be touched by or the people you wanted to affect it didn't, doesn't mean it failed. It's just understand, get clear to who you are and do what life, do what the universe, do what God is asking you to do. And that's a win.

Yeah. Yeah. And you see it in what you're doing today. Obviously, we've known each other for a few months now, right? But I could see, you know, your testament as to fulfilling your story and allowing it to reach people and help people. How is that whole, like, concept of, like, putting yourself out there more and just, like, being, you know, having that voice that you believe is, is an impactful voice through the stories that you've lived in your life, right? And being able to say, hey, you know, I'm not, I'm not an expert at life, but this is kind of what I know. And this is kind of what I believe.

So if you believe it, too, I hope it resonates with you. Because that's kind of my approach. I'm like, I'm no pro to life. But hopefully through the experiences that I've lived in life and the stories that. that I've lived in life that I can help you some way somehow. It's tough, I would say, to put yourself out there, put your story out there, to be honest, to be open, to tell parts about your story and your life that not too many people know.

But it's also empowering. It's fun because you experienced it. I personally know everything I've been. through, of course. And I've been through a lot that may not be able to be seen through my daily interactions with people or whatever. And to know what I've went through, what I've overcame, my insecurity issues, my belief about myself, all the different things that life throws at you. To get to where I am now, I don't know it all, I promise. But I know enough that if you start doing certain things. You start talking to yourself

a different way. You build a deep, true relationship with yourself. You learn to get comfortable, being uncomfortable. You start treating others with the same respect that you want to be treated in. You keep your promises to yourself and to others. You have faith. You be optimistic over pessimistic. Give yourself

a chance because it's easy to be negative and focus on everything that's not going right or everything that's going wrong as opposed to what's right. And I think be honest, how'd you get to where you're being, how'd you get to where you're at now? If it's through negativity and being pessimistic

and blaming all these other people, why not one day decide, let me try something different. If all these negative beliefs about myself, if all these negative situations, if I told myself bad things always happen to me and that's what's being brought to my front door, maybe if I flip the script and start telling myself kind things, positive things,

if I start going against my feelings and doing the harder thing on a consistent basis, things can flip with time. Let's see. I have nothing to lose. And I've been in really low places where that was really the choice for me. School wasn't my forte. And after essentially eight years of just always trying to get by after college and doing a great job at it, getting to college and whatnot, getting by, and then realizing, oh, wow, you only hurt yourself.

Like, getting by didn't hurt your parents, and it didn't hurt your teachers, and it didn't hurt your friends, and it hurt your coaches. It just hurt you. And all the thoughts and actions and things that you were doing brought you to where you're at now. Do you want to feel the same way in 10 years? And the answer was like, no, not at all. Especially not knowing, especially knowing what I can do, especially knowing that I could wake up and go to the track. I can't five. If I can do that, essentially, it's like, what can I do?

Like, I feel like I'm one of the toughest people that I know. I know how to work hard. I know how to get uncomfortable. And once I started believing in that and then started following it with actions and stuff that helped me to continue to fortify my belief in myself, to start changing things, to start trying new things. I didn't read all the time. I didn't read ever. But then started reading them like, oh, wow, my communication is improving. I like the way this sounds or I like the way I'm thinking.

It's kind of similar to what I get from showing up at the track every day or showing up into the gym. Changes start to happen. This is a way better feeling than whatever I was experiencing. Okay, maybe learning's not that bad. Okay, let's try to learn some more.

Let's see where I could take it. Okay, well, I realize confidence is not what I'm wearing or what I have. It's just believing in myself, not needing to, valid need validation from others. It's looking at somebody and respecting them regardless of where or who

they are, treating other people the same. Like I said, some of the things you learn in the Bible. Treat others how you want to be treated. Except where you're at. And understand it's not about where you're at. It's about where you want to go. It's about who you're becoming through

your daily actions. And then a big thing is that big conversation you're having with yourself every, every single moment. what am I telling myself? What story am I repeating? Am I repeating all my past negative traumas or I'm deciding to say I'm a winner,

I'm confident, I'm intelligent, I'm attractive, I'm charming, I can get along with anybody, I feel comfortable in my space, I feel comfortable alone and improving that to yourself. I can do hard things, I'm capable of achieving great things.

Yeah, maybe I cheated all my life, but now I'm as intelligent, as they get, a lot of self-reflection. Life is going to steer you in one direction. I remember at one point, teachers were telling me, or telling my parents, he's gifted. He should be in all gifted classes, AP classes, skip kindergarten.

And then at some point in school, I was just like, eh, I don't want to do this. You know, I want to go hang out with the kids who are messing around and having fun or whatever and that becoming who I was in school and whatnot. not after time past understanding, oh, maybe that was just how I was acting because at home, my parents were going through their own problems and, you know, not understanding that as a kid, not understanding that it's okay to ask for help.

It's okay to be like, I don't understand this. Can you teach this to me or whatnot instead of bawling all in? And it's all like true. So when you're adult, learn to be open, learn to be vulnerable, learn to accept that you're not your past, you're not your mistakes. That if you have another day, then you can decide to become a completely different person. You can choose a different path, a different story, a different narrative. And back to your question, essentially, I started to look back and realize, whoa, you know, some of this stuff is working.

Yeah? Or not some of it. It's all working. It is working. Yeah. I'm literally becoming a new person. People are noticing. Mm-hmm.

And maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit just because of. For sure. You know. some core beliefs about yourself. But then the evidence that things was working, just like with fitness, if you're consistent with it, your body starts to change and whatnot,

if you're doing the right things, was fuel for me. It's like, whoa, I finally got something that I was after. Or whoa, somebody believed in me. My boss, David Alexander, gave me a chance. I got the internship.

That was huge for me and everything I did up until that point. I was just like, wow. Like, this feels good. Thank you for, like, being that, key being that answered prayer that, okay, hard work does pay off. My reading did pay

off. Me putting courses on my card that end up being maxed out because I didn't have the money, I couldn't pay it down. It all worked. It was all worth it. I had blind faith. I had trust in God. I had trust in myself.

And it was like, still, it's never ending. You're going to still have to show up every day and battle the negative thoughts that are going to come and be mindful, be honest about yourself, keep working hard, like, yeah, you got here, but what you did to get here is not going to get you there, still show up every day, still do hard things, you need to still be reading, you need to still be writing, keep talking to yourself extremely positive and understand, all right, I got here,

now where else do I want to go? Where else can I take it? And so now I'm, it's less of the negative stuff and it's like, double down, right? you saw on these last four or five years what works, there's no question now. There's no stopping that now. Wake up and do it every day. Now do it with even more attention than you were doing it back then.

Because back then you weren't necessarily sure where it's going to lead to. Now you're like, oh, wow, everything I journaled back in 2019. Yeah. It came true. It's like, oh, okay, well, I wasn't thinking big enough. Let me just become delusional and think as big as possible. Let me, I don't need to know how. Just keep repeating a new story.

keep showing up doing these small actions and building your belief in yourself, earning that credibility with yourself, and just know you can take it wherever. A big thing for me was not going pro. It sucked. It sucked. It sucked. My life was like a two-a-day trying to achieve that accomplishment of playing pro. Essentially, my life felt like just a long off-season.

And I'm just like, all right, pro didn't happen. Learn how to be a pro at life. Yeah. You know, your life is an off-season. Your days are going to be two-a-days, and you love it because that's who you are. That's, that's, my life is where it's at because of fitness, because of soccer, because of challenging myself and embracing those challenges. And now looking at it like, all right, that's hard, but I could do it. Yeah. You know, I'm going to tell myself I could do it. If I can't,

I'll try again. I'll try again. I'll try again. But like I said, looking back at it, I saw all that stuff worked, let me double down. And I can help teach other people what I've learned because I spend that time alone. I've failed a lot. I've tried. I've tried. a lot. I've been exposed to new things, met new people, have conversations, read books like how to win friends and influence people and realize, oh, okay, remembering somebody's name makes them feel

important or special, you stand out. Stop telling yourself, I'm bad with names. Stop telling yourself, I can't remember this. Stop telling yourself, I'm not a morning person, because you keep telling yourself that you're just going to buy into that belief more and more. It's like, ah, well, I don't want to say anything

negative by myself. I just want to tell myself the most outlandish things, even if they're not even true yet. You have unimaginable power, freedom, prestige, you're staggeringly smart. I was like, okay, I'm reading that in the book. Oh, this character is this? I like that. I'm writing that down every day.

That's who I want to become. And you get to this point. Yeah. It's crazy because, you know, we like to put ourselves in these boxes that are completely fake. Yeah. You know, we put these ceilings on us. And it was like, we can only go here, we can only go here. where reality is infinite.

It's infinite what you could do. Literally. You just got to actually believe it. And until you shift that belief and actually truly believe that, then you're only just putting those limitations on yourself. 100%. And it's just like, break those limitations off, shed the chains off, take it all off, and think as big as you freaking want to think.

Because reality is, you can get there. 100%. And I like to enjoy all kind of music. I really enjoyed rap music, but also enjoy jazz. But when you listen to rappers, I started realizing, I'm like, whoa, look at the way they're talking about themselves. And if you follow their stories, they were speaking who they wanted to become or who they want, who were they going to become before they were that. They say some things I think that we as a society, like, get over our heads. We're like, you're just listening, but you're not actually listening and applying.

For example, Drake says so many different things about himself. One of his favorite lines, one of his lines of my, one of my favorite lines of Drake is him saying negative thoughts don't enter my inner vortex, I believe. And I remember hearing that, I was just like, whoa, that's powerful. Hell yeah. Don't let that stuff. It's like it's not even an option. Yeah, I don't think negative about myself. And D'Amigos, Jay Cole, Nipsey Hustle, who's huge for me.

Huge. they just spoke greatness about their lives. They said what they wanted to accomplish. They said how they wanted to feel. And becoming aware of that was huge for me. Because it's like, all right, maybe today I don't feel confident, but that doesn't stop me from being able to write down as many times as I want. I am confident.

I am intentional. I am powerful. Then taking it, let me go look at myself and see if I can say that in the mirror. And realizing, whoa, I'm by myself. Nobody's around. and I can't even hold eye contact on myself and say something, but boom, a space for growth. Let's work on it.

Keep those eyes open. Say it out loud. There's nothing to be embarrassed about you. You're by yourself. I'm powerful. I'm blessed. I'm highly favored. I'm a winner.

And then doing that, and then being on runs and be like, ah, here's another chance to say it. I'm disciplined. I'm focused. I do hard things. And then, all right, just like I've convinced myself at some point,

that I'm not confident, I'm shy, I'm this, I'm that, I can flip the script. And I'll just do that every day because that's in my control. Yeah. How he, she, them think of me. It doesn't matter. On both sides, somebody tells you you're amazing. Don't take it too personal because if that makes you feel validated, then the day they tell you're horrible. The opposite's going to happen.

Yeah, the opposite is going to happen, you know? But do yourself a favor every day. Tell yourself how amazing you are, how kind you are, how much you live. love yourself and everything starts to change. Yeah. It's so easy, you know, so easy to convince herself the negative, right? Yeah. And then make the excuses on top of it, right?

Well, hey, no, man, you can do it. They're like, I can't do it because this, this, and this, right? But it's like, boom, you've already eliminated the chance. Like, you're not even giving yourself a chance in that moment. Yeah. It's like you've got to have that self-awareness to catch yourselves in the moment, say, I'm not going to let myself even, like Drake said, not even think those things, right? Yeah.

Because I know I can. And I might have to do a little bit of convincing in the process, but until you actually can convince yourself and prove to yourself, then the sky's the limit because you're like, shit, man, I can do this. Right. I can do this, and I can do it great, and I'm going to be even better the next time around, and I'm just going to use this as momentum moving forward.

But we somehow always like to lean on the opposite side. It's safer. It's easier. Because exactly. It forces you not to have to take action. I don't think I can do that. That's a high jump. It's a easy way.

Yeah, let me stay in my comfort zone. Yeah. These days when I find those moments where it's like an indecision, a big time you experience it. I was in Washington State hiking and see a bunch of kids jumping off into the water. And I'm, anytime I see something like that, I want to do it because it's thrilling. It's fun. But you do know once you get up there, you're like, whoa.

I don't know if I want to do this. And this is like, even with cold plunges, it's not going to get warmer with you sitting there and thinking about it. that jump is not going to happen or it's not going to nothing's going to change. Don't think about it. Just do it. If you're scared, lean into it. There's growth on the other side.

On the other side of fear is somebody you want to become. And understanding those little things help, again, to wake up with a certain mindset, wake up and be like, ah, another day, another day at life, another day to get it right. Another day to try again. Another day to, okay, I didn't like how yesterday went, but boom, today's Wednesday.

I could try something else. And let's keep trying. let's see what works once I know it works. All right, well, let me now make that my mainstay. Let's make that automation. And again, you start to build a satisfaction, a credibility with yourself. And now you don't want to experience anything else

because you know what it feels like to do those things. And it's like, why would you want to go back? You're not trying to go back. And that's what helps me on social media if I don't want to put up, If I'm overthinking like, what are they going to think? Just do it. Just do this.

This is going to help somebody. You've got a million messages on how your post or stuff has done something for anybody. Why are you still doubting yourself? And again, it's easier to doubt yourself. But like, again, I think we have to learn how to use things to our advantage. Some days I don't want to run. But I'm like, this person just said my runs and me putting up workouts has helped them to do something. So you make it, don't make things about yourself.

Have bigger wise. that gives you so much power. You have kids, understand that, all right, I should fix this habit because I don't know that I want to pass this habit onto my kids. And that is more reason, all right, let me wake up. Let me not press news. 100%.

Because now I have something else that I'm getting up for. If it's just for myself, I'm like, nobody knows I said I'm going to get up at six. I just press news. But when you give yourself big whys, you make things not only just about yourself, it's a lot easier to show up. So like with social media and answering that question again, it's fuel.

Providing that value. Yeah, it's definitely fuel. It ain't about you. It's about providing that value to everybody else. 100% being a sense of empowerment, knowing that this helped me to become who I am. And now for myself, I have for sure a soft spot that I know fuels me on a day-to-day basis. And I want people around me to feel confident about themselves. I want people to tell themselves what they can do as opposed to what they can't.

And it's a fine balance. of not trying to impose your thought process on everybody else. True. Which I'm learning and I'm learning to, if asked, to give advice or how I see it. And it's not easy because I talk with people every day as a trainer. And I listen to the way people speak about themselves. And I was like, why would you tell yourself that? Like, you know, you can tell yourself something different.

No, I actually think you can do that. Or you're actually way stronger than you're giving yourself credit. take a second and think about everything you've accomplished and put more focus into that. Give yourself the encouragement that you would give your best friend or your parent or a younger sibling or cousin. Like we're harder than ourselves

than we need to be. We wouldn't say the things we say to ourselves to other people in our lives. And that mindset frame has helped me a lot. It was like, you don't know what to do, but if somebody else was in this problem, you probably would have all the answers, all the advice. Exactly.

So, all right, we'll take yourself. Use that advice for your show. Yeah, take yourself out of your shoes. What would you tell a friend who's going through what I'm going through right now? And now you listen. Ah, boom. Yeah. It was simple.

I was just blocking my own path. So, yeah, true. I've seen it, like, where I've actually, like, you know, meditation, like, see, like, see myself, like, being like, exactly what you were preaching to somebody else or you know, preaching it to yourself, you know? 100%. And we're obviously our own. worst enemies at times. But when you kind of shift that perspective, I think that's where the power is. But brother, I really, really enjoyed today. It was an amazing conversation. Like, I'm already sitting here. Like, we got to do another one of these. Because there's so much more that I would love to touch on.

And I think, obviously, there's so much value that that you bring from your perspective. But I just want to say thank you so much for being here, for sharing your story and sharing all that insightful information today and we'll do this again soon. No problem. Thank you for having me. This was great. I enjoy these and it was exciting and I'm appreciative. If your insight, the way you look at life, what you've created, definitely expired and again, inspired and honored to be here. So thanks for having me.