Stoic Wellbeing - Enneagram 101: An Introduction to the 9 Personality Types

Episode Date: November 27, 2021

New to the Enneagram? Welcome to your introductory class.At its most basic level, the Enneagram is a framework that says there are nine personality types, and each of the nine types has a different core motivation driving their behavior and beliefs. Why do you do the things you do? What motivates you? How do you see the world? How does the world see you? We all have a little of every type in us, but one of the types is our core type and it doesn’t change. You might wonder why people of the same personality type might outwardly present as very different. There’s several reasons for that, but a primary one is because they have a different subtype. I don’t want to overwhelm you, so today I’ll focus on walking you through the nine types, and we’ll save subtypes and wings and stress and security points and triads and all that other Enneagram magic for another day. Just know that there is a lot of beautiful nuance to the Enneagram and the point is not to box us into a certain type, but to free us from the negative patterns that hold back our type.Don’t stress if, after listening to this episode, you’re not sure what your type is. It can take months for people to narrow down their type because it's the first time they've given themselves this time for self reflection. If you’d like me to guide you through this discovery process, I’d be honored to do an Enneagram typing session with you.You can book your Enneagram typing session by going to sarahmikutel.com/typingsessionHave an Enneagram question? Ask me on InstaDo you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

A lot of us say that we want more meaning in our lives to be part of something greater than ourselves, to feel more connected to other people in the universe. This begins with becoming more connected with who we are and more self-aware of what's unconsciously motivating us. Welcome to Stoic Wellbeing. I'm your host to Sarah Megatel, an American in England who uses stoicism and other techniques to help my coaching clients become more present, productive, and open-hearted. I am here to help you to visit Stoicwellbeing.com to learn more. The other day I was in the passenger seat as we were driving down the highway and all of a sudden, the driver next to me who will remain anonymous, said, why is everyone's headlights blue? What the heck is

going on here? And I looked at him and said, it's your sunglasses that are tinting everything blue. This was a literal example of someone seeing the world through tinted glasses and expecting that everyone else saw things the same way. A more rational, less real. A more rational, less reactive response would have been to pause and consider possibilities other than that everyone on the highway decided to turn their headlights blue as part of some big trick. And that's what stoicism helps us with, being less reactive, getting that distance, questioning our assumptions, taking things less personally. One of my favorite tools to take this work even deeper is called the enneagram. Like stoicism, the aneogram helps us increase our self-awarely.

be more present and respond to life in a mindful way and not out of emotion or habit. Now in case you don't know what the enneagram is, no worries. Welcome to your introductory class. The anagram and also stoicism are two of the main topics that I will be discussing on this podcast because I believe they are among the greatest tools that we have to help us grow and to live a happy, connected, and peacefully flowing life. But today is all about the enneagram. And the Enneagram at its most basic level is a framework that says there are nine personality types and each of the nine types has a different core motivation driving their behavior and beliefs. Why do you think the things that you do? What motivates you? How do you see the

world? How does the world see you? Well, it's really fun to take an enneagram quiz to learn your type. That is just the beginning. The point of the Enneagram is to use that information. to dig into who you really are so you can break out of unhealthy patterns and beliefs and defense mechanisms that you might not even be aware of. And P.S. Online Enneagram assessments often miss type people. And that is because people answer how they aspire to be or they think about how they've acted this week rather than their internal motivations that have been driving their whole life or they might be distracted while taking the quiz or they're just spending like a few seconds per question rather than reflecting on the answers. So quizzes can be fun, but a better way to learn about yourself

in the anagram is to read a book on the anagram. So you can DM me at Sarah Micatel on Instagram and I'll give you some of my favorites or listen to this podcast or you can have a coach guide you toward discovering your type. Now, we all have some of every type in us, but one of the types is our core type and that is not going to change throughout your life. And you might wonder, why people of the same personality type might outwardly present as very different, and there's quite a few reasons for that. But a primary one is that they have a different subtype. So there are nine core personality types, and each of those nine have three subtypes. That means there are 27 subtypes in total. And I don't want to overwhelm you with information today. So I'm just going

to focus on the nine types. Just know that there is a lot of beautiful nuance to the enneagram. and the point is not to box us into a specific type, but to free us from the negative patterns that hold back our type. If you want to learn more about the history of the enneagram, visit stoic well-being.com. For now, it's enough to know that the enneagram is a mix of ancient wisdom and modern psychology. The school that I've trained with was co-founded by David Daniels, who was a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford Medical School for more than 30 years. Daniel J. Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and founding co-director of their mindfulness awareness research center. And he has been studying enneagram personality

patterns and contemporary science for a decade and has a book coming out about his research soon. So the enneagram is a tool that researchers are taking seriously, that therapists and coaches and psychologists are using to improve the well-being of their clients, that companies are bringing into the office to help coworkers understand each other better and understand themselves better and what makes them tick and how can they how they can live a more rewarding life at work and at home. Like Stoicism, the Enneagram helps us respond mindfully to whatever life throws at us rather than letting our personality types core motivation drive the show. And the Enneagram is also a tool that helps us understand and live better with other people. We all know on some level,

that other people think differently than we do, but it wasn't until I started studying the Enneagram that I realized how different we really all are came as kind of a shock to me. And it was also the greatest gift because I became more compassionate when I truly understood that not everyone sees the world the same way I do. All right, now let's get into the nine types. So each of the nine personalities has a driving emotion or passion that's blocking them, and you will recognize these passions as the seven deadly sins. So pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, and sloth, plus two more, deceit and fear. And for our survival, we're unconsciously motivated to try and satisfy our passion. And this is what's keeping us stuck

in the patterns of our personality and preventing people from getting to know the real us. And our passions also prevent us from getting to know the real us. We all have this shadow side, our blind spots that we don't want to acknowledge and we might not even be aware of. But to grow as human beings, we really need to be aware of both the good and the not so good aspects of ourselves. So the enneagram brings awareness to this shadow side. So we can explore it without judgment. And I'll repeat that again. The anagram is a very important. a tool for raising awareness so you can create positive change in your life and stop doing what's not working and what's been hurting you. Banygram is not about criticizing where you are right now

in your life or criticizing the type that you are. There are no good and bad types. We are all equal. We're all wonderful people and we're all in a range of being emotionally healthy and whole and being not so healthy, and this is going to fluctuate throughout our lives. People look very different depending on if they're in a really healthy part of their life, if they're unhealthy. I'm going to give you a general overview of what average looks like for each type. Now, some of what you hear about your type might sting a little, especially if it's something that you've been ignoring, but again, this is about growth, not judgment. And not everything that I read about each type is going to apply directly to you. Humans are very complex and this is just a broad overview and what

resonates with you can depend also on how much personal development work you've already done on yourself, how stressed you are in the moment, mental health and other factors. But chances are one of these types will ring true. Type 9, the peacemaker, passion, sloth, or inertia? Type 9. Type 9. are peaceful, low maintenance go with the flow types. Adjectives to describe them are usually serene, kind, optimistic, open-minded. They trust people and have this really nice sense of wonder and a feeling that we are all connected. People like being around nines. They have this calming presence and they make people feel seen and heard. They are great collaborators and mediators. And they are really useful in a crisis because they are so even killed.

They're creative and non-judgmental and they really want harmony above all else. They will do anything to avoid a conflict. And they often have their head in the clouds or what's called their inner sanctum. So you might think that a nine is listening to you and even agreeing with you, even if they're not. If you are the type of person who always answers, whatever you want to do, chances are you're a nine. Though it's important for you to know that behavior doesn't always equal somebody's personality type. Your type is based on your core motivation. That's a really important thing to remember.

It's not how you act. So there can be like there's quite a few look alike types. So it's not just behavior. And this is a reason that so many people are mistyped. Nines crave comfort and balance, and they don't sweat the small stuff, and they don't really understand why other people have such emotional extremes, which can make them uneasy. Nine's unconscious core motivation is to keep the peace, their inner peace and external peace, and to maintain connection. So I mentioned that nine's passion is sloth or inertia is like a nicer way to say that these days. So nines are daydreamers, but they don't take action. And it's not that they're lazy, but their drive to avoid conflict can keep them stuck. So they procrastinate. They have a hard time making decisions because they can see all sides of a situation. They tend to overthink. And even when they know what their priorities are, they're very easily distracted and start prioritizing the needs of somebody else or of doing non-essential.

tasks. So like, I need to pack my suitcase because my flight's in like two hours, but first, let me clean out the fridge. And I've never done that before in my life. Nine's stand up for and take care of other people, but they're not so great at standing up for and taking care of themselves. They have the least amount of energy of all the types. And because it takes a lot of energy to preserve harmony and to always be playing devil's advocate in your mind when you're trying to make a decision. And if they feel like there's just too much tension, they will find something to numb them. So they don't have to think about it. So Netflix and food and even work, even though nines seem super chill, there's often like a lot going on in their heads and they can

become workaholics. So areas to explore for nines. wake up to your own needs. What do you want? The people who are in relationships with you want to know what's on your mind. So even though they love how peaceful and easygoing you are, they do want you to make some decisions. I mean, that's what relationships are. It's a two-way street and you can't always appease other people. So the next time somebody asks you to pick a restaurant, pick one and then challenge them to challenge you when you slip into whatever you want mode. Again, it's great to be easygoing, but people want you to show up in the relationship and you deserve to have your needs met too. Type 8, the protector, passion, lust. Eights are decisive, charismatic, natural leader. For them,

it is go big or go home. They are focused, highly productive, and they can create order out of chaos. When you're talking to them, they want you to cut to the chase. They are direct and they want you to tell it like it is. They do not like it when people don't have an opinion or they seem wishy-washy about something. They've got a few close friends and that's all they need. So no need for Monday morning chit-chat colleagues. Thank you very much. But when AIDS are like telling you like it is, it's not necessarily because they're passing judgment on you or because they're trying to criticize. They're just very direct. They like to call it as they see it and they don't really understand why other people can't just speak plainly and honestly. They respect strong leaders and

they are suspicious of people who they think are too nice. If an eight has a fight with you, they can get really worked up in the moment, but then they can just easily shake it off and move it on as if nothing's happened. Because for them, it was like, all right, that's done and dusted, moving on. And they don't really think about it. They're not like seething in it. And they don't realize that other people don't have the ability to move on so quickly. Aides think that the world is a rough place. And they are really afraid of being vulnerable because they don't want to be taken advantage of their core motivation is protecting themselves from being vulnerable. So fight or flight, are you?

with me or against me, they are black and white thinkers, and they don't want anyone telling them what to do, and they will not let vulnerable people get bossed around either. So eight are the type to stick up for the little guy and to speak out against injustice, and they are not afraid to challenge people. They don't care what others think of them. They are not changing for anyone. And when eights are trying to help you out, it can feel aggressive. because they have such an intense personality. They don't realize that this can seem intimidating to other people. And when others tell them they need to tone it down,

they're not exactly sure how. They have so much energy and drive that they can seem angry. And they also use anger to cover other emotions so that they can seem fearless and not seem vulnerable. Aides work until they crash, because they don't realize when they're tired. It can be really hard for them to relax. And when they do, they take everything to the next level, less being their passion. They want more of everything. Sex, food, drinks, material things. If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing. Some areas to explore

for AIDS. Understand that vulnerability is a strength and that you don't have to control everything. and that not everybody is trying to control you. Other people can't read your mind. So explain what you are thinking and check in with them that what you said is what came across. And remember that other people don't have the same amount of energy as you do. So learn to match their energy so that you don't push people away by coming on too strong. Type 7. The Epicure.

Passion, gluttony. Sevens are the fun free spirits of the enneagram. They are the life of the party, super high energy, and they have an insatiable curiosity. The core motivation driving them is pleasure and stimulation. So the ideas keep flowing with sevens and they want to try everything. They're optimistic and enthusiastic and future thinking. Sevens start out with a bang on project. and things they're interested in, but then things fizzle when the excitement wears off. Sevens are visionaries who make great entrepreneurs, but they need somebody else to step in and run the day-to-day operations because sevens have already moved on to the next thing. And this can prevent them from fully experiencing where they are now because they're always thinking what next.

Sevens don't like commitment or to feel boxed in by rigid plans and ways of doing things, and freedom is very important to them. They do not like restrictions. Sevens love to talk and tell stories, which can kind of seem all over the place, but people still like hearing them. After a party, you might not remember anything that a seven said or even at a business conference if they're on stage, but you're going to remember how good they made you feel. Connection to others is very important to them. Sevens love beautiful things and like to impulsively splurge and treat other people. They keep things light and fun, positive vibes only with sevens. They can be real heartbreakers because we'll make you feel like the most important person in the world

and then move on if things get rough or life seems like it's getting too routine. They reject people before they can get rejected. Their defense mechanism is rationalization. They're really great at reframing and like to put a positive spin on things, which in many situations can be quite healthy. That's a great thing if you see silver linings. But sevens don't want to deal with pain, so they run from it. David Daniels, co-founder of the narrative Enneagram, said that sevens are the most limited type because how can you know joy if you, you don't know sorrow. Zevins cut out part of the lived experience when they stay, surface level, and shut out feelings that make them uncomfortable rather than sitting with them.

As you may recall from the previous episodes of this podcast, being stoic does not mean being tough and pushing away your emotions. The stoics were all about dealing with their emotions in a healthy way. Here's an abbreviated quote from the ancient Stoic Seneca on dealing with grief. It's better to conquer our grief than to deceive it. I'm not therefore going to prescribe for you those remedies, which I know many people have used, that you divert or cheer yourself by going on a long and pleasant journey abroad, or spend a lot of time carefully going through your accounts and administrating your estate, or constantly be involved in some new activity. All those things help only for a short time. They do not cure grief, but hinder it.

but I would rather end it than distract it. Again, that is from Seneca. Okay, areas to explore for sevens. Stay connected in the moment, good or bad, and trust that life will give you experiences you need. You don't always have to go chasing things. Follow through with the things that you start and give yourself space to feel things on a deeper level. And when you do face hard times, instead of running, find the lesson and ask how you can grow from the experience, which is also a very stoic thing to do, capital-esque kind of stoicism. Type 6, the loyal skeptic. Passion, fear. Type 6 are humble, loyal, and good in a crisis. They look out for others and think about what is good for everyone. They love to plan ahead and. are always preparing for what might go wrong. And then they have a backup plan for that. Six believe that the world is unsafe and unpredictable, but they might not realize that they're

afraid because they're so busy planning. Again, when we talk about core motivations, a lot of these things are unconscious. So sixes use planning to try to create security for themselves and the people that they love. They are worst case scenario thinkings because they don't like getting caught off guard. So what happens if I go on that trip and I break my leg? What if we switch business suppliers and that company goes bankrupt tomorrow? Their core motivation is to protect themselves from harm. And Sixes can seem like buzz kills when they share their anxieties and project out all of their fears too much. But to them, imagining everything that could go wrong and poking holes in ideas is their way of protection, but also being helpful.

They want to help other people be prepared as well. Sixes can be suspicious of new people. They've got their guard up, even with people who seem nice. It takes sixes a little bit of time to trust others. They don't even trust authority automatically. There's like a suspicion of everyone. But once you earn their trust, you have got a friend for life. And sixes really do want to be connected.

And they put others first. They want to be part of a group. And they have a real fear of rejection and betrayal. Sixes tend to doubt themselves and their intuition. And so they look for other people to guide them and to give them the answers and to keep them safe. They like the security that comes with routine. And sixes are the type to stay too long in relationships that aren't working. Even non-human relationships like subscription services.

They don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. And they have a real over-sense of duty, an extreme sense of duty. But not all sixes are the same. So phobic sixes are the planners who run away from fear, and counterphobic sixes confront fear head on. So they've got the same core motivation to protect themselves from harm, but their behavior in how people perceive them is very different. So the counterphobic six challenges authority and can seem aggressive, and the phobic six obeys authority, at least once they've learned to trust the authority. and the phobic six is more withdrawn. But every six can be phobic and counterphobic. It's a range. It can change, you know, through different periods of your life. So areas to explore for sixes. If you're going to look out for the bad, also consider the best case scenario and learn to trust yourself instead of always looking to other people for the answers. So when you're asking for opinions, you don't have to follow everyone. opinions. Take action only on the things that you feel in your intuition is the best thing to do. You are the

authority of your own life. Type 5. Observer. Passion. Averisse. Fives are great thinkers, innovators, and observers who are independent and don't like drama. They prefer deep relationships with a few people over being popular with a ton of people. And they need a lot of time. And they need a lot of time. to recharge. Fives are often minimalist who don't want to rely on other people for anything, and they can see things objectively and listen to you without judgment. Fives have a good sense of humor, and they are rarely bored. They love to learn, and they can become a little bit obsessed with research. So the more they learn, the more they realize there's so much more to learn. And that can make productivity really problematic because when they get so caught up in the learning, they never

take action on that knowledge. The core motivation of fives is to protect their resources. Some of them hoard material goods so they don't have to rely on other people. But this is more about hoarding their energy. Fives feel like they don't have enough of it and they really need to hang on to it. Sometimes they will skip out on experiences because they fear they'll be too tiring or because they need to finish the work or the research that they're doing before they're allowed to go out into the real world. They feel a real drive to study over hanging out often and that's not because they don't want to hang out necessarily. Fives do, you know, they create, they crave connection just like other people, although they do love their alone time, but fives have this idea that they need to get better at what they're doing

before they can move on in real life in reality. And again, this isn't true for everyone, but that's big for a lot of fives. They live in their heads. And so even when they're with you physically, they might be in their own inner world. And it doesn't mean that they don't love you. It's just that their habit is detachment. So you will have fun with your five friend and enjoy them being present with you if you can communicate to them some timelines of what you're doing. So fives don't want to be hanging out all day. They want to go out, hang out for a few hours, and then come back to their own inner life so they can get back to their books and podcasts and other things that they love. Fives don't like being put on the spot or talking about themselves too much. They like to walk into a situation prepared. They're not the type to talk a lot in meetings because they need time to process what they think. So there are the observers who want to drink it all in and then think about it.

Areas to explore for fives, get time on the calendar to spend with humans and not just books, even if you feel there is more to learn and talk to people about everything that you are learning and be in the moment. You have more energy than you think you do. Type 4. The Romantic. Passion. Envy. Fours are creative, sensitive and have a drive. dramatic flair. They see the nuance in the world and aren't prone to right and wrong thinking. They appreciate beauty and they feel things really deeply. Fours love feeling and expressing their feelings and they don't really understand why everyone isn't embracing their authenticity. Fours are great comforters because they don't run when people get emotional and they don't immediately try to

fix everything. They sit with people and their emotions. And that's what they want from other people. If they're having a hard time, they don't want advice. They just want you to be there for them and to, for it to be all about them. I once heard a four say that she rolls around in melancholy like it's a luxury. And being with them can feel a bit like an emotional roller coaster. Fours want people to see them as unique and they're afraid of being ordinary, which would mean that something is missing in their lives and they don't want to feel any lack. They feel like outsiders while at the same time feeling quite special and they try to stand out to be accepted, but that often makes them less accepted. Forrest can be judgmental of other people if they think they're too

basic. So your forefriend will never admit to drinking a pumpkin latte at Starbucks or if everybody's talking about a new show or like a new musical that's super popular, they might be like, too mainstream. They crave deep connection and tend to blame themselves for things when they go wrong in relationships. They are sensitive and can be moody and self-absorbed, and their intensity is often described as too much for people, especially when they overshare. But like other types on the Enneagram, I mentioned, that the four has three subtypes, and They all look very different from one another. So one of the subtypes isn't publicly sharing everything. The other two are more outwardly dramatic and envious. And envy is not like a jealousy of, I don't like you because you have something. I want. The envy is a longing of something that they feel is missing. They idealize other people and what they have and they focus on what's missing in themselves. This is their core motivation to keep up.

this longing by searching for what's missing. And they talk about themselves and what they're feeling a lot because they're trying to understand themselves and they want you to understand them. At the same time, they worry you're not going to like who they truly are, that their true self won't be loved. So some areas to explore for fours. Remember that not everyone is as comfortable as you are sharing their emotions. And don't judge a person's character based on whether their hobbies and interests seem too mainstream to. Be present and grateful for the beauty you see in everyday life without comparing it to something grander or to something that somebody else has. Type 3. The Performer. Passion, Deceit. Threes are confident,

highly productive action takers. Their motto is to seize the day and they have the focus to achieve everything on their to-do list. Threes are the type of people who you look at them and you're like, how are you getting all this done? Everything looks perfect and polished from the outside. And it's really easy for threes to speak off the cuff. They can seem like they know what they're talking about, even if they have no idea. They just have this inner confidence and go get them kind of attitude.

Threes are efficient workaholics. And they often put off pleasure so they can get the job done. They don't always see the point of doing things just for fun. So if they're not going to get paid or praised, why are you bothering to do this? Threes are the type where if you tell them about your new knitting hobby, we'll be like, how are you going to monetize it? Or if, or like, what is the competition that you're joining? Like the type eight, threes like it when you get to the point. But the Three's core motivation is to be recognized for their achievements. It's not to protect their vulnerability. Remember, that type is based on what your core motivation is. Threes like to be great

at what they do, and they want you to perceive them as great. Their passion is deceit, meaning self-deception. Threes are known for being shapeshifters, so they become what you want them to see. And they can alter this in different situations. And this performance is usually not conscious. They're not trying to be fake, but they want your approval. They want you to like them. And so they'll play up. They'll perform to what you want to see.

Threes want to be seen as successful because they're rewarded for this, especially in U.S. culture. People are prized for being tireless workhorses, which can burn anyone out if you're not careful. and disapproval for threes, that is their worst nightmare. When something goes wrong, they tend to blame themselves because they think they're in control of everything. So threes are very outwardly focused. And as I mentioned, they can get really wrapped up in playing the persona that they think that other people want to see. And so they lose touch with their own feelings. And

feelings are things that can slow you down and they're not efficient. So threes don't really like to acknowledge them. They don't listen to their own internal needs and they don't know what they want because they get caught up in praise and the idea that they are what they do. But they like to put a positive spin on their things because their survival depends on their image, their successful image. So some areas of exploration for threes. Pause and reflect rather than bulldozing your way through life, take time to celebrate your achievements. How do they make you feel? What do you want to be doing right now? How would you spend your time if nobody was watching to recognize and reward you? You have a lot to offer this world and you are more than your achievements. Type 2. The Giver. Passion, pride.

Tews are kind and empathetic and sweet and they go out of their way to help other people and they often know what you need before you do. For them, relationships and connection are the most important thing in the world. Tews like to spoil others more than themselves and they like to take care of other people so much so that they don't even really know they have any needs themselves. People feel comfortable going to twos with their problems. And twos love being helpful because they want to. It comes very natural to them, but also because they want you to love them and to need them. The passion or core emotion for twos is pride. They take a lot of pride in being helpful and knowing what you need. And they want to feel important in your life. And they're going to do whatever it takes to make that happen. So they think that they need to please other people to receive love. They're driven by a need to be needed. And again, this is when it comes to all of our behavior patterns and personalities, we're not usually conscious of all of this. Helping others feels so natural to twos and they don't understand why other people

don't reciprocate their help as often as they would like. Tews have a naturally giving nature, not all of them, but a lot of them. And they've got the sense that you, you've got to give to get. They are people pleasers and they worry that if they make somebody mad, they're not going to be loved. So if there's like an argument or like a bad situation, they'll replay that over and over in their mind if they feel like they said something wrong. Sometimes people feel that twos are too intrusive, that they rush in too quickly to problem solve without giving others a chance to figure out things on their own. And it's also really hard for twos to say, no, because they feel like the world will fall apart if they're not there to help.

They don't have boundaries, but they do desire to feel indispensable. I mentioned that twos can have a really hard time saying or even recognizing that they have needs of their own, but they can project their needs onto others. So if a two in your life says, are you feeling tired? Would you like a cup of tea? They might be tired and wanting a cup of tea. And they like when you say and show how much you love them. Areas to explore for twos. Get in touch with your own needs and identity. Say no more. You often know what other people need before they do, but that doesn't mean that you should always act on this. give people space to figure out things on their own and do something for yourself and let other people do things for you. Type 1. The Improver. Passion. Anger

Ones want to improve the world and are driven by their values. They have an ideal view of what the world could be and they feel like it's their duty to work toward that ideal and to fix everything that's wrong. Everywhere at one's look, they think about what could be improved, and that's their core motivation to improve. Ones are disciplined, efficient, and are really good with details. They are great at motivating people and rallying them to their cause. Justice in doing what's right is so important to them. They have a really strong desire to be good, and they are very hard on themselves if they think that they're not doing things the right way. So your one friend is the one picking up other

people's trash on your walks and the one who won't buy anything that's not ethically sourced. Ones think in black and white. There's one way to do things and they want to follow those rules and they want you to follow them as well. Ones can get a little preachy but at their best they are really inspiring teachers. One's prioritize work and can forget to have fun. They're driving emotion or passion is anger and resentment, which would totally surprise a lot of ones because they repress their anger at themselves and others because good people don't get angry in their minds.

And ones are trying to earn love and approval by being good. ones can get resentful if they feel like they are the only one who cares, that they're trying to make the world better and everybody else is just screwing around. And so they can be judgy that others aren't doing the right thing. And then they get mad at themselves for judging. Ones are often like really nice people who care so much and they do just want to do the right thing. So they feel really bad when they catch themselves judging of all the personality types. Ones are the ones who are most self-critical. And that can like affects how other people experience them as well.

So instead of complimenting people, ones will often criticize them as a form of love without realizing that's how it's coming off. Because ones just want you to help you be the best that you can be. and to show you how to do the right things. They are really hard workers, as I mentioned, and perfectionists, and they worry about putting themselves out there because they want everything to be perfect, which keeps them from moving forward. Receiving feedback for them can be really hard because they're trying so hard to do things exactly the right way. So some areas to explore for once, you're doing your best. Consider that other people are doing their best as well. Well, done is better than perfect. Celebrate your work. Have fun. And listen to your head, heart,

and body to take care of yourself. So practice gratitude and focus on positive things, not just things that can be fixed. And follow the serenity prayer from AA. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the different. difference. By the way, this is a stoic idea that's thousands of years old. All right, there is your summary of the Enneagram, which we said is a tool that helps us feel more compassion toward others because we understand them better using the Enneagram. And it's a tool to discover who we really are, our motivations, how we operate in the world, our blind spots. And don't stress if you're not sure what your type is. It can take months or even years

for people to narrow down their type because throughout our lives, we haven't really given ourselves much time for self reflection. And so have fun with this and take time to enjoy exploring the different types. If you would like me to guide you through this discovery process, I would be honored to do an anagram typing session with you. You can book your typing session by going to sarah migatel.com slash typing session, and I will give you a direct link in this show note, so don't worry about trying to figure out how to spell that. Knowing your type is only step one.

It's fascinating and fun to passively drink in all of this information on personal development, but growth only happens when we interpret what we learn and then put that information into action. Again, if you want to get started by booking a typing session with me, you can go to sarahmicatel.com slash typing session. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who would like to hear it. That is the best way to grow the show. All right, that's all for now. You will never have this day again.

make it matter. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free conversation sheet sheet with simple formulas that you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahmicatel.com slash blank no more.