Stoic Wellbeing - Travel to Expand Your Circles of Concern of Concern (Oikeiosis)

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

As human beings, we’re naturally inclined to take care of ourselves and our immediate family. This is the center of our circles of concern. As Stoics, of course, we believe we can extend our sense of care and belonging (oikeiosis) to also include our community, country, and the rest of the world.I believe travel is one of the best ways to practice oikeiosis.This is why I’m sharing part of an interview I did on my podcast Live Without Borders. I’m speaking with my friend Zlatina, a Bulgarian native on the expansive power of travel.Head over to the Live Without Borders podcast to listen to the whole episode – including Zlatina’s best travel advice on her home country. Zlatina and I love Bulgaria so much that we’re hosting a very special travel experience for you May 15-21, 2024. Join the waitlist ASAP.  We’re keeping this trip very small – max 10 travelers. When you're on the waitlist, you get first priority to come and access to our early-bird rate. We’ll announce the full itinerary to the waitlist in the next two weeks, so register your interest in the Bulgaria trip now so you don’t miss out.Meanwhile, you can listen to my Live Without Borders interview with Zlatina to learn more about the breathtaking sites you’ll see in Plovdiv and beyond. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Welcome to Stoic Wellbeing. I'm your host to Sarah Micatel, an American in England who uses Stoicism and other techniques to help my coaching clients become more present, productive, and open-hearted. I am here to help you to visit Stoicwellbeing.com to learn more. As humans, we are naturally inclined to take care of ourselves and our immediate family. This is the center of our circles of concern. As Stoics, of course, we believe that we can extend our sense of care and belonging, this is Oikiosis, to all include our community, country, and the rest of the world. I believe that travel is one of the very best and most fun ways that we can practice oikiosis. When you travel, you leave the familiar and you immerse yourself in new cultures, environments, communities. These experiences can challenge our worldview, stretch us out of our comfort zones, and at the same time, connect

us to new people. This is why I am sharing part of an interview I did on my other podcast, Live Without Borders. I'm speaking with my friend Zlatina, who is a Bulgarian native, and we talk about the expansive power of travel, how meaningful it can be to us as citizens of the world. To listen to our entire conversation, which includes all of Zlatina's advice on how to best experience her home country when you're traveling there, head on over to the Live Without Borders podcast. I visited Bulgaria for the first time this summer, and I loved it so much that Zlatina and I are teaming up to host a very special Bulgarian experience in May 24. That's right, we are taking a small group of world travelers to Bulgaria in May. I cannot wait. If you love ancient history, fabulous food,

hidden gems, unforgettable experiences, you need to come with us. Sign up for the wait list today. There's a link in the episode notes and this will give you priority to come on the trip with us and an early bird offer. Come expand your circle of concern with us, May 24. Let's go. Now, let's jump into the conversation I am having with my friend Zlatina. When we go out, we like to share food. And people are very often, they're a little bit shocked by the size of salads and main courses. Yeah, we love sharing food. Okay, so people generally like utter some things and then share it?

Yes, it somehow unites you. Have you noticed that when you have something and somebody's like, oh, that looks really, really yummy? So people share. you feel like you belong to something bigger than yourself. Oh, nice. Yeah, I mean, that's a good cultural tip to mention. Because, yeah, not all cultures are like that. It's like, yes, I get my dish, you get yours.

Maybe you can try a bite. Yes, no, we absolutely love. And, yeah, it's more like sharing food. Sharing is caring. The other thing which I would recommend when you travel to Bulgaria and to the Balkans is to travel with an open heart. As quite often you might find our customer service slightly different than what one would expect. People have occasionally a little bit of straight face and I wouldn't necessarily call it being rude,

but you might have a little sense, especially coming from the UK where everyone is overly polite. It's a bit of a culture of difference. I'm not sure how to put it exactly in words. I guess that's part of our also socialist. when you couldn't trust much anyone. Like people were, although they felt safe and secure on some levels, and they were, they thought they're equal. But on a psychological level, they couldn't trust much.

So is this kind of like keeping a straight face, right? Kind of like not showing your cards, maybe? Yeah, just looking a bit, a bit serious in a way that not necessarily, it's not a sign of, oh, I don't want to talk to you. It's more of a sign of, oh, I have my own things going on and I'm not in a super happy place. I've noticed that when I organize tours, when I go with friends and they say, oh, this person was a little bit way too serious. And I thought, imagine how many things are happening in their life. So it's a cultural difference, for sure. Yeah, it's a very good thing to be mindful of. Because, yeah, when you're going,

into, and I would say especially for Americans where we're quite, can often be quite open and smiling to people we don't know necessarily when that's not reciprocated, that can feel quite rude. And so when you can be mindful of, oh, this is just a different culture and they're not necessarily trying to be rude. It has nothing to do with that you. It's just how they are. Then I think that can help you have a better experience because you're not sort of obsessing about what could be going wrong? Yes, totally. No, it's traveling with an open heart. I just love, love this expression allows you to be less judgmental and to connect with other human beings more. As we all live on the same planet Earth, but everything is so different. Think about it. Even in the states,

the difference from one state to another, although you're united by the same culture, but still people here do that and people there don't do that and, you know, little things like that. But yeah, it's just being open. Well, something that I find very fascinating is, you know, countries tend to have different overall cultures, but of course we are all individual people. And sometimes it just seems like people are born into the wrong place. And if they were somewhere else, they would be so much more understood. Like, the Dutch culture is known to be quite direct and frank and, like, honest.

And they're not trying to be rude. But if you're not from that culture, it can seem quite shocking how blunt they can be. But I know I've heard people in the U.S. who are like that or even some neurodivergent people who that's just how their brain works to be quite direct. And they're like, oh, I should have been born in this other country. But yeah, like to your point, it's a big world. And if we can just be more open-minded about where different people are coming from, I think that just helps everybody get along better. Oh, totally.

You couldn't say it more beautiful than this. Yes, and that's the beauty of travel. You realize that not everyone is like you. Not everyone comes from the same how to say, like not social status, but from the same starting point. And to me, it helps me to generate a sense of gratitude for everything that I've had the opportunity to experience. As traveling really, really opens your mind. And yes, you never come back the same.

Would you agree? Yeah, 100%. And it's also, like, helpful to know people's history as well. I mean, as a culture, their history, like, before you go to a country, learn a little bit about what people may have, gone through, like especially over here in Europe where there were a lot of countries that have been in war in our lifetimes. Oh, yes. You know, I just as an aside, I met, I was on a walk this morning here in Fokston

and I met this guy from Croatia. And he seemed maybe late 40s, early 50s. And we just had a pleasant casual chat. But later I was thinking, I wonder if you were in the war. And we often don't. Give people that grace to think of like, wow, you must have been through a lot, you know? Totally. Yes.

Travel brings you into contact with people from all over the world, and this reinforces the idea that we are part of a larger interconnected whole. This aligns with the stoic idea that we should view ourselves as citizens of the world, cosmopolitans, rather than just members of our specific city or nation or household. Are you ready to expand your view of the world with an unforgettable trip to Bulgaria? Let me just list a few of the amazing things you will experience. We're going to the capital Sophia, where you will explore thousands of years of architecture and history. We are going to plovdiv. You are going to see all the hidden gems there.

You're going to the Rose Valley. You're going to visit the oldest Thracian spa in the world. So imagine rolling rose oil on your skin as you are soaking in a warm bath. You will be sipping wine and wandering around the ancient ruins. We'll be eating Shapska salad together and trying the local coffee. You will be in great company. We will have tons of laughs. This is a small group, not a massive tour bus experience.

We are creating something so special for you. So click the link in the episode notes to get on the wait list right now. We will be announcing the full itinerary soon. And if you get on the wait list, then you are going to get priority to come on the trip. and will be offered a special early bird rate. Again, this is a small group that we're taking, and solo travelers are especially encouraged to come along. This trip will change your life.

Join us in Bulgaria, May 24, get on the wait list now. And again, if you want a little taste, go to the Live Without Borders podcast, and listen to the episode on Clavdiv Bulgaria. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free conversation sheet sheet with simple formuling, that you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahmicatel.com slash blank no more.