Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 103

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

Beardy Thiftle Man - It's late in the evening on the 12th August 2021 and Richard is taking a crepuscular walk around the Stocean, though his path is strangled by crops and wheat. He meets a weird small man on his way who may be the embodiment of a plant and gives you some folk lore about the moon. But it's otherwise a moribund edition of the podcast. But you must listen to it anyway.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Here we go again my finest friend It's 2026 on Thursday the 12th of August 2021 Welcome to chapter 103 Stone Clearing, only 103 liters of dumpers I'll have a time special I'll be fair I saw those ones I did in lockdown

Herring is going to not be very keen to get out Me and my wife have been to the cinema Or the Kinema as it has been called in medieval times of course And this is a bit of a late walk for Wolfie And oh she's doing her way of relief A big way of relief And we'll carry on with the intermediate lessons See how they go, sorry that last week we lost the email section

Of the podcast, it was emailed by a Z4 Which I don't know how they did it And I had to respect for the sender Which I was not aware of until I googled them I took that bit out so maybe one day it will surface It was quite funny And here we are on the photosion And the crop, they do grow

Remember to forget everything you've learned In all previous episodes including the intermediate ones Just now and just have to forget everything you've learned Let's start each lesson Very small stone goes on to their alphanomaga can All of them count in large amounts Beautiful pink sky, the sun is going down The fifth wolf, they are high

Turning to white beardy assaults Also some of them are still purple Poppies, a few still, straggling Big weeds and spirtries, seemingly grey This side over here Big chagreen and yellow in grass and straw And corn or whatever this is, wheat And that wolfie off the lead

So there doesn't seem to be anyone around See how that works out for us So yeah, we're in this difficult period of stone clearing There's thick vegetation everywhere And just a few stones just barely on the field Just if you imagine the field as an ocean Soil and stones I'm picking stones just out of

Where the waves hit the shore And getting a few off here actually Occasionally just on the path You might as well get those off You might as well get those off That's all we can do for now It's a trying time, that's why We really have to cover this in the intermediate lessons

This is too hard for beginners what I'm doing here It's probably taken off almost 10 stones already And found a couple that are already been cleared And found their way a bit too far back on the grass So they've pushed those back to the fence We're just passing the fence at the moment If you visualize in the field Yes, the moon is a tiny little crescent

In the sky The stone gods have taken a bit of stone to grow Again And the stone gods are hungry As the legend has it A couple of small, small larges going off there Maybe small... Oh, wolves!

Come here Wolves, come here Gentleman approaching Jeremy Corbyn, I don't know if he's got a dog So I'm just going to put all of you on the lead Good girl Wait here darling No dog?

No Okay, that's alright Thank you It's slightly... Simple looking from everywhere on this face Everybody's been doing it here I think it was probably marijuana or something It was an LV with a white beard

Maybe one of the field sprites of legend Every thousand years or so those guys take human form I wish the shell suits I don't know if he was a sprites I'm very pleased with himself I'm looking out onto the field Looking out onto the Stocean, wondering If he's letting something out

Luckily it's into a weedy area And it's just a tiny poo I think I'll leave that one for the animals to consume That's their little treat Now I was going to walk on there I can tell you where that's gone That's safe to walk It's not in the field, so it won't damage the beautiful crops

Everyone's happy I just want to understand Really hitting into some dense undergrowth now I can hear that rapping against my jacket I'm wearing my going out clothes I've got daps on Nice Pawsmith daps Nice Pawsmith jacket

I'm wearing all Pawsmith This podcast is not sponsored by Pawsmith Of course it's sponsored by North Face But you can't wear your North Face clothes In the heat of summer Unless you're a fucking idiot Or it's raining Don't buy them for the summer

That's what I would say about North Face jackets That's my advertising slogan for them But I'm certainly the trendiest fella Out on the field today And a couple of stones just going on To the corner of the field there Almost medium size And again, massive thistles

I'll take a picture of the hoary thistles With the beautiful pink sky in the background And if that will come out Twilight Pretty nice You're getting some nice photos From all this nature I can tell you that much

Wolfie's trying to eat something What are you eating? Is this some grass? You can't eat that You're a dog I'm just literally nothing here Nothing to pick up There's some stones deeply embedded in the path

I don't have a trail with me And we're doing it Nettles closing in Thistles closing in This is a dangerous area to come through Now walking directly towards the moon I'm wondering which direction I'm going in Heading for the moon

It's carried straight on On a sort of staircase I had to hit the moon It's bang on Beyond the moon There's a staircase to the moon from here Directly There's a plane flying over

Leaving its vapor trails And maybe that little bearded man Was a little bearded thistle come to life Maybe that's It's a similar consistency On the thistle beard Nice actually You don't get to see many kids picking up thistles

And blowing them Like they do with dandelions But they should It's obviously there's a Bit of a prick involved That's right I'm calling your child a prick Absolutely no stones to turn here

What's to put out this one Can I get this one out? It's a tantalizing one in the path And that's next to it A couple that are easy to get Into the nettles with them Someone's got to get a streamer on this Not

This is actually physically dangerous I'm not going to do a huge Long walk tonight Just thought I'd let you know What was going on in the old Station There's another holiday coming up next week That was away last week

Seeing my folks and this week Next week we're going to Centre Parks So I've decided to go the long way Around I don't know why And it's even more effective Getting tricked Like the weeds are grabbing up

My ankles So this Well there won't be any stone going For at least a week or so There's some rehalos to this coming up There's rehalos for Norwich On the night of the 13th Of August

Which is tomorrow This is up in time I'm going to listen to it in Norwich It's unlikely all of these things will happen And you haven't yet bought a ticket There were a very few tickets left So You might be able to make it along

Remember how that's going to return So that's the Square Theatre I don't know why I'm advertising stuff on here I mean literally Literally zero people With one on the 29th of August As we test our streamer equipment Can livestream all of those shows

And the money from that will go to The hospitals that helped me With my bollock Ow Good job I haven't got that bollock there Because it would have been stung by some Thistles So you know it's not all bad

Talking about literally I'm going to have to go through the A few people having to go through the actual crop To get around those thistles and nettles This is terribly dangerous I was at the hospital today At Mr Hospital Just to have a blood test

Just have some blood taken So they can test it And go again They've seen me regularly So far so good But it's the blood test For a couple of weeks Very efficient

Very quick So if you'd like to sponsor me Or Get a live stream Justgiving.com Monable If you've enjoyed all these Months

Of stone clearing And Would like someone to benefit Financially from them Why not them Why not them I feel like I might get lost here Some of these weeds are taller than me

Looking over to the pathway That goes alongside here And someone's trimmed all the grass It's looking lovely there But then This is I've never seen it like this At the edge of the field

It's almost like the farmer doesn't want us Here Decided just to let everything Ow f**king I can't walk so we can get through this Oh sh** We're at the singing ringing tree But

Where am I going to get a stone There's a couple down here Just in time Just in Topa Remember him He remembers Justin Topa Okay here we go No

No elves tonight So on we plow It's mainly going to be walking Because there's no stones It's just greenery What can I tell you about Well Culture about the

The gods eating the moon Those course comes from The holy books Which I can start to reveal A bit more about as we Get into the intermediate lessons They are deadly secret And only

Really accessible to The highest echelons Have that stone close Found another stone Hear that click It landed on some other stones And I threw it off That's always satisfying

He's throwing blind The stone gods created The earth and all All the stones Is there pretty much everything When you think about it And You look up

See stars are made of stone Are they Moons are made of stone Clouds are probably a kind of stone Everything's stone And then Then came the plants And then came the butterflies

And the animals You know the rest So there's a nice little crop Of shale here Probably the biggest stones We've seen today Just by the edge of the Almost off the field

But we can get them a little further away Just on the The left-hand side Of the path But not quite off the field Always dangerous And crouching back on Unless you throw them

Right into the edge Then they're safe Then the part of the Part of the little Jeremy Corbin man Elf And dwarf No one out here

There's a bright light shining From the recreation ground Could be a headlight of a car Beyond the recreation ground Could be some kind of headlight As someone plays Some kind of evening sport Not really needed for it yet

The sun Maybe just down now The moon looking a little Clear against the Still sky blue sky But just a slightly darker sky blue Than when we started It's beautiful out here

Sometimes We don't need incident We don't need the stone starsy Don't need log dogs Don't need more locks The odd celebrity Like Jeremy Corbin Popping along

Obviously Keeps things interesting But sometimes Just the view is enough I feel I hope you agree If you listen to this And imagine what it might be like

Right tall nettles here A couple more little stones Going in Let's It's been slim pickings And it will be for a little while Until the plough she doth come And eat up the corn

I've got eight corn But it's clearly wheat Is there a difference here? Yeah, quite a big difference Quite a big difference And this is probably the nearest The bedtime I've ever done a stone clay And when I get home

I'm going to go and watch the TV In bed with my wife She won't know What's been going on out here She thinks I'm just walking the dog Poor fool All some nice stones again And some nice ones

A little bit of a clearing But again To the left of the path It's barely stone clearing It's desperate stone clearing When there's a drought of stones As there is In the summertime

And you have to You have to eat up what you can And we're crossing now The path across the field Very clearly delineated actually Next to the old flow Some big green crops growing there That looks exciting

I've let Wolfie off the lead I'm still confident there's no one around Let's see if any little Hairy Thistle-thoak Pop up We're taking the diagonal To the

Oh, there's some nice stones here guys Just in the roots Of the wheat right by the path And we're near enough to the edge To just chuck those off nicely We're heading to the Central Cairn Someone tweeted me a picture Of a cairn

Just in the middle of a field Saying is this your work And they don't know me too well Of course Some people argue That the cairn we're heading to Is in the middle of a field It's not

It counts as the edge of the field Because there's a telegraph pole And stuff there Very much counts as Not being in the middle of a field But if you ever see a cairn That is In amongst crops

Or In the middle of a field Or just lazily Put on a path Or something like that It's not me Also, I really only make cairns In this one field

So I've Occasionally taking another root On my dog walk Slightly and subtly Building up some New cairns For my next field Once this one's clear

Just getting a little bit ahead Of the game A spacecraft Like the star of Bethlehem Coming in Over the hill Towards Luton It's possible

Jesus is being born in Luton Right now It'd be a star It's going very slowly It sort of seems to be hovering Other than Heading towards the airport It's very nearer to the Earth

Than most stars I've got one I'd say Small, large Maybe medium Small in my hand now I think that's a Seems to have changed direction

Could be a helicopter Or a star of Bethlehem Star of Luton As it will be known in the New Bible Some desiccated poo Another even bigger stone This was definitely the medium But still medium small

And it's beautifully quiet A little wind flows through Whispering wheat That's pre- Passing a message to the stone Star of the HQ That I'm at It's unusual

They wouldn't have expected me So I don't think I've done A couple of night time clears But not much later than this It was dark Because it was the wintertime Oh, it's a plane Looking at it

It's a plane But It's coming this way See the wings Just it was the angle It was probably the case For most flying saucers Found another

This is the third stone Picked up smallest of the three But It's not a bad haul From just the path Up to the tiddlers Maybe siblings Those two

They're going together Don't worry And We'll be turning right As we head down to the stone pole Dusky That will make it much harder Will I use the dark grip

And Those five stones All safely In the central can Hidden inside a bush Even that guy Through all the stones Back on the field

Couldn't find that one That prick Remember him It's been certainly been There's another Star of Bethel Could be a star of Bethel Him

This one's definitely a plane I can see that now But It's so similar to the last one That I have to think It's just another plane I mean Bethel Him was very much the

Luton of its day I would say that So looking for some fodder For the stone pole Remember you can increase Your luck or Decrease your bad luck By

Donating Either becoming a Using your Amazon Prime membership To subscribe on Twitch Or Justgiving.com That's Monoball Do some good

Have some good in return It's like the National Lottery You win Tarot, you win Right No stones so far Will be Right behind me

Nobody else around That old man was I've never seen him around He was a little bit freaky I think I might have imagined him If I could imagine A star of Bethel Him

Why not A smiling, laughing old man Who doesn't have a dog Just walking around the field For no reason Ooh You heard him right Did you hear him say no

Jumping me saying no Throwing my voice The kind of thing I do So looking for some stones Now we might have to get under the old Tree No one knows what type of tree this is The fire is all science

For magic tree For stones beneath it Ooh, I found a nice medium one That should be a definite hit Bit too easy But it's good to have an easy one Let's see if we can find four more You're right, wolves

Oh, there's some over here Ooh, there's some like animal holes Into this tree It's nice Near some stones that the animals Have flung out of the ground They're our friends Whatever these

Probably rabbits What do you think, wolves? Can you smell them? One's very little The rest are Different increments But oh my goodness The stone pole

Is so hidden Wolfie's not on the lead Which means she may be In the way of the stones Some kind of Creature's been through here Trumpling down the crops What that is

Right, no one's around Going for the Dark So I'm starting with the smallest one It's a miss North out of one Oh, it's a miss North out of two

Big one Oh, no Missed North out of three North out of four That was the wrong pole That one hit One out of five

Bad luck, I'm afraid, everyone Get some money now Become a badger If I start up As bad as you get 50% off all your Livestreams 2021

And there are a few Stones here that we can The path has sort of Gumbled up Nothing much And this is why I don't come out face Okay, there's no people

And be Stones Have gone to bed for the night Over the cover The covers of the You know, they can't all be gold That's the thing is We've done 103 of these

And You know, a few Stones And a few Stones And a few Stones And

You know I'd say 101 Excellent One Average This one maybe not that good Well, we'll see this There's still some time to go

Two more Stones If you've been count There's some nice ones Number two Coming to the main can Let's see if we can Grab a couple of Stones For this one

It's not coming out You can hear Another star of Bethlehem Peering Approaching from the distance It's engines They have to be motored somewhere, don't they? Let's have a look

Just checking that one's destroyed My work Seems something's been going on down here But We're okay Yeah, there she is There's my lovely can Two Tiddlers on there

For you today fellas But You know Kind of everything So we head down the hill Another star of Bethlehem Approaching where they're all coming from Found another stone

You just throw that back Onto the Edge of the main can Of course I'm trying to Grow as walls down the hill Ditch the stock Brexit coming up If it wasn't for this ditch Your

Paying roaming charges In Europe now It'd be Lorry Park in Kent Supermarket shelves would be Yeah, not empty but Occasionally just Oh, where's the carrot today? But luckily thanks to this ditch

The stupid decision of the British public Has been overridden And everything is fine There'd be Covid going on If it wasn't for this ditch The ditch that found a cure for Covid Not there yet And I haven't found any stones yet

Oh, it's a nice one Oh, it's a nice one That can go in the ditch The ditch will be very pleased with this one It's not thick but it's It's flat and it's wide It's about the size of A similar stone

To this one Goose going overhead On its own It's going to crash into that plane That was just perspective The plane's miles up in the air Well, I hope you've enjoyed This walk more than I have

I've enjoyed the walk actually Just a bit This is one you can put on to go But we haven't really learned Telling you about stone clearing For the past God's eating the moon That wasn't that good, was it?

Right, anyway, into the ditch That stopped Brexit Going into that Nice, flatty You'd have to find at least one more stone For the alphanum if you can That shouldn't be a problem There's a lot of stones out here

There's a whole lot of stones I'm feeling quite tired That's the issue, I think There's a few stones in the path And I'm not seeing anything loose Here we go We'll do a couple because the first one Today was poor

So keep up your stone clearing Do keep your emails coming in I'm going to look in a second See I managed to get that diary off my hands But last week, by the way Oh, that's a nice sound, isn't it? Click, click Let's have a look through your emails

I got an email here from Ascii Plain Ascii Plain Saying I hadn't noticed I've been listening to the Intermediate Lessons chapters And I haven't noticed all that much difference Between them and the beginner ones

Have you not, Dusty? Well, this email has more value Than it does about me And I'm done so blind As those who do not know They're very different If I tell you how different they are Then

If I need to tell you, then you don't understand It's dark enough now That security lights are coming on as we pass them That's quite exciting For me We're down on the road again Wait, you had one chance, didn't you? Dusty Plain Anyway

I go Box wagon It's going to touch I go, YGO Probably from Israel Something like that Palestine That's not getting to that rich

Saying I was wondering if she would ever do Stone Clear at Dusk Yeah, I would I just did That's the kind of question Dusky Plain would ask Just did one, mate When you listen to me, you haven't had a chance To see if it's been unfortunate

Or I don't know if that Igo's a male or female, mate Yeah, well I'm getting the emails I deserve For this This weak podcast We're back home now You all right, Wolves?

We'll lock up Because it's nighttime Here we go, darling Good girl I'll go to the most Inconvenient way I'm trying to get there To leave around a bush I want to just take it off

Did you have fun, Wolves? Oh, down in the rail, mate Oh, gee Right, well, look The lesson I've learned is don't Stone Clear And do a podcast Here's the evening time when you're tired Do it in the daytime when you're fresh

So I hope you all learn that If you're doing your own podcast Do feel free to do your own Stone Clear podcast It's a competitive market I can handle it We will see you next time Thanks for listening If you got this far

Do a better person than I All animal Bye Enjoy your Stone Clearing Goodbye Yeah, merry dance Don't liven To the birds and trees

Don't liven To your underpants Liven To the stone Liven To the stone And they in turn Are liven

To ye My friend My pine square Liven To the stone My friend And they falting Yeah, merry dance

Don't liven To the birds and trees Don't liven To your underpants Liven To the stone Liven To the stone

And they in turn Are liven To ye My friend My pine square