Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 106

Episode Date: September 13, 2021

Chapter One Hundred and Fix - Fix Geefe A Flying - It's approaching 7pm on the 12th September 2021 and Richard is finally forced to confront the allegations that are flying around the stone clearing world and which you've probably seen mention of on stone clearing message boards or rival stone clearing podcasts (mentioning no names, Brian Bramble). Hopefully you will not judge him too harshly, for he is but a man, with a man's knees. He certainly doesn't let it get in the way of some sublime stone clearing tonight, with a rich seam of new stones revealed and after the harsh Ftone Summer Winter, the first glimpse of Ftone Fpring before Ftone Autumn gives way to proper Ftone Winter. The Feafonf are different out here. It's a clear without FF interference, so just enjoy the stones and the geese and forget about whatever rumours you've heard.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Come on down, good girl, here we go, that's not on very well is it Wolfe, do you think we should try that again? Wolfe's got a plastic bag on a bandaged leg, that's a good girl, it's come off on it, what? Welcome to chapter 106 I think of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring, it's 1855 on the 12th of September 2021, two months since my birthday, you don't want to eat, you may just say what I'm done, and before we start I would like to address the elephant in the room, I'm sure most of you have heard by now, there have been allegations, mainly coming from Brian Bramble in his number one Stone Clearing podcast from New Zealand,

this points to me that his podcast is better than this one, it's not as good, he's a glory seeker, he lives in New Zealand, obviously the stones are all bigger there anyway, they're easy, easy to him, he's had his spies out claiming, it calls me to say it, that I've been seeing a town of act-clearing stones on a different field, my own field, look it'll be easy for me to lie to you, it'll be easy for me to say that's all bullshit or bullshit, what I would actually say, but I'm going to be honest, the first rule of Stone Clearing, no rules to Stone Clearing, we all know that but the second rule is you must only clear stones from your own field until your field is empty of stones, then you may fitart on another field, but only one that is not

being cleared by a low stone clear obviously, but my dog walk has been taking me a slightly different route and I have to tell you that there are some beautiful stones there and it's been difficult being on this field, big stones and you know I know size isn't important, I always say that and I mean it but it's so nice to get this really big stone isn't it, they're kind of a better than the small ones and I have transgressed the rules, I've cleared stones on another field, this one has just been so difficult, my field was so difficult to find though, look I say that and I've just arrived and here's about five tibblers right where I've got many times all going on the alpha and omega ken, one fell a bit short but that'll do, I'll soldier on hopefully you can stick

with me through this difficult time, I apologize to all of those who looked up to me, the stone clear who have made the no rules of stone clearing, let Wolfie run free and don't let Brian Bramble fuck us up is what I'm going to say, and I'm going to carry on and hope you'll stick with me if you do feel you have to leave this podcast because of my hypocrisy, so be so must it be shall but it'll be shame because it's quite exciting developments out here on the field, only minor it's Christmas advent, sorry stone advent, it's not stone Christmas yet but although it's been very difficult to hire stones in the field due to the proliferation of straw, some kind of vehicle has been through a central passage of the field and cut a swath of earth, cloud up a swath of earth

and it does mean that there are a plethora of stones here, some distance from the shore they need to be chucked but I don't mind that, and they've just cleared a nice medium small, here's a definite archetypal medium, medium might be difficult, Wolfie loves the chase, be careful with your foot, get a bit closer to the shore for that one because you need accuracy of important but as it's 10-15 meters from the shoreline we'll find these stones that wouldn't usually be cleared this early in the stone clear of the field and it does give promise of what is to come when the ploughs you've come for all the fields, we're going to see some beauties, so it does it's just a ray of light,

a chink of light, we're not allowed to say that anymore, thanks for putting it so correct it's gone mad, and of what is to come and just helps us through this difficulty, oh look at this one absolute beauty, medium, I mean I've got a medium, medium next to it and I'd say this is a medium medium large, maybe medium large medium and I'm carrying it with the reference it deserves to the side, yeah it's medium medium but it's it's still, my goodness I haven't been seeing, can you blame me for straying when I'm seeing anything like this on this field for so long, plastic bag I brought for Wolfie is probably in my pocket, I'll just carry it, have to be wary of course because right out there, so far out in the field I am

a moving target, an easy target, people will easily spot me out here wonder what I'm doing, the stone starsy they may put two and two together especially as they see me lobbing stones around, oh look at this every way you look, oh my god I'm sorry for what I did to you feel, that one's bouncing off, oh bounced down into a gateway, not the old supermarket for actual gateway, another couple of just definite mediums, oh Wolfie jump is actually exciting too of course, this is great news for her as well, great news for you, I mean it's not intermediate, it's only intermediate in the sense that don't cancel me for going to that other field, it's just you know I've just started a few new

cans up there, it's only intermediate in the sense that I could give you extra warnings about how to disguise your activities, I mean it's late at night tonight, it's seven o'clock now, seven o'clock two p.m, it won't be long before night's cloak has spread, it's dark, it's dark, cloth over us, you could wait till darkness, oh that was a nice throw as well, that one wasn't even that from the suede, that was just one I found on the way to the suede, we'll just keep looking, just see what we can see, beautiful, small, it's a brown, chocolate brown, I don't know how to say that anymore, Gigi political fitness gone mad, stone, few of those here and it's probably because they're all covered by the earth a little bit,

into the brambles, beautifully thrown, I mean stone clearing is easy when it's like this, this is too easy for you intermediates, but you could never get over the thrill of that dark winter, that dark stone winter that is the summer, and then the winter is also the winter, it's like a lot of winter being a stone clearer, oh and there's just a suede, a fire machine who seems to come in three or four directions here, and that one bounces, oh beautifully bounces, it hit the field, it bounced four or five times right into the undergrowth, so it's good news, just got another medium down on the medium there, and we'll head towards the can in the corner of the field, which I feel has been lacking a little

bit in being fed, let's see if I can pick up some sizeable stones, that one's calling to me saying come on Rich I know I'm not big but take me off, I'll take you off but I'm going to throw you, checking no one's around, oh fuck that one really bounced into the fence, and this fence down the other side of that could be in trouble, and all that's got a big green, a round stone with a green head, blueny it's just been, oh look at that one, it's just there's too many, I can't save them all, feel like Oscar Schindler at the moment, feel like that bloke who got all the animals out of Afghanistan, haven't choose animals over human beings, I'm choosing stone over stone the hardest choice of all,

stone over human, no contest, absolutely no contest, I've got five stones here and they're all the smallest one, it's only small because I picked it up and realized it was covered in soil, knocked the soil off, still a reasonable size stone compared to what I've been clearing recently, whoa Wolfie's very excited about it, I need to find the can across from the main can, the good news as well for those who, oh I think they may have gone, well there might be bad news about the can across from the main can, it looks a little bit smashed up not by any malice I don't think just it's, there's been, those of you who are worried about all the weeds and the undergrowth, that's been cut back as well and that can is unrecognizable, spread out, the stones are still there,

and I know I kind of want to save some of these stones up, so you don't know what's happening next, what farm machinery is coming over, now I'm only a few yards from the boundary here now and there's some buttes, and that one, that one Wolfie, can you describe that one Wolfie? I guess it does look a bit like a dog tongue hanging out of the mouth of a dog, that's going into the roots of the trees, look at that one, oh is it a relief to you to be hearing stones being cleared, to be forgiven me, you understand right, you understand what it's like, you're meant to say faithful to one field for as long as it shall live, but there's so many other

stones out there, I've been running around walking the dog but also doing lots of runs, I've done a 10 mile run today, I don't clear stones during the running, no time to stop, that's to keep me fit for when I come out to clear stones, doing another run 10 miles today, I've done pretty well, I've seen all these stones, you know, I'm a man, I'm a man with a man's knees and I don't think anyone can really blame me, this is seems to be like the sun gods rewarding me, I would say look at this Wolfs, that's a proper chunk, that's maybe even large, how long has it since we've seen a large, I mean on this field, let's not talk about it,

let's forgive and forget, I mean that might have to go on the can across from the main can, some of possible other human beings, oh no it's a bird, six geese, six geese have just flown directly in front of me, beautiful, I thought it was a child crying out to its father, we found the stone clearing a guy, get it, get the guns, let's get some geese, six geese, six geese are laying, no six geese flying, six geese are flying and you know it is like the first day of Christmas or the sixth day of Christmas, whichever you want, it's like end to one of the days of Christmas because there's some presents and I've got one of them in my hand, the largest stone was cleared from this field,

from this field in quite some time, Brian Brambles on it should be apologising, the way he's corrupted stone clearing, trying to make it a commercial thing, multimillionaire off the back of stone clearing, I wouldn't do that, any money I make from stone clearing goes back to the stones and the can across the main can, looking a little for lawn, that's been shaved back but that new addition does make it look a little bit more perky, I may have imagined it but it was like all the other stones in, oh hello, I don't know why since we sit, because there's been nothing around here, in this bit I've hardly even put any stones on the cans in this corner,

crossing on the path here, it's difficult to distinguish stone from mud, that's a bit of mud I've just picked up there, it's from caked mud, that's definitely a stone, it's caramel, oh that beautifully found its way to the can across from the main can, that's one of the intermediate real lessons we're going to be learning, especially once the plowed up come to proper, cross over that, I'm heading across to the main can now, this is a short walk, we're not even going to do a stone pole, I just wanted to share my apologies and share this wonderful news with you, but this actual path, there are quite a few stones on this path that have been coming across here, a few dog walks and finding quite a lot of treasure,

nothing of the size of a bugger we just saw, that's not far off, absolutely not a soul on the, apart from those six geese flying, there's another blackbird on its own flying, not, creature is stirring, apart from the crow over there, it's flying, it's now stirring while it's flown off, so yeah I can see a few track marks across the field, and the promise of more and better and then soon, who knows when, the whole field dug up and happy days will be here again, we'll have to go back to begin the lessons then, my friends, because it will be too easy for you guys, I just have to pretend we're beginners and

come out here, play some stones, make love with each other, enjoying our intermediate and above status, no beginners, no beginners, your beginners came up and started trying to make love on the field with us, intermediates and above, they'd been for a rude awakening, this is the bit I'm talking about, there's just loads of stones here, and this hasn't even been dug up, this has just always been a good area, this crossing the field always, I fancy when Michael first started this, Hank Michael, when he started this camp I think it was just the doubting of stones that lay here, I've got four, they were trying, not quite as big as the ones in the cloud lines, look at that fucker, that can come up, I did drop some down here the other day

because the lady came up, I don't know if I can manage to, I should try and pick them up, lady came across with a dog with a muzzle on, you know, he's been in the podcast before, had to drop my stones and the dog attacked Wolfie and a muzzle came off, then I sort of had to stand and go get out of it, the woman was all, oh yeah it does, they should just let him off the lead and play, oh no we shouldn't, you've got dogs got a fucking muzzle, I'm trying to bite my dog, I didn't say that, wish I'd recorded it but I've managed to pick up those three stones I dropped for that incident to a killer and it's always good, always return, unlike a lit firework, always return to a dropped stone, not immediately you

don't want to get caught crossing the new cut-up part of the field again, nothing obvious, I've got my hands packed full of the stones in any case, I don't know whether to put them in the main body of the can or to build up what's going around, I'll do a bit of both, there's two on the right hand side of the can and then on the right going down the wall which is developing quite well down the field, you can hear each of those, even that one that was for the furthest down, each of them clinking against another stone, so well we'll head down and we'll go across to the tracks that do go all the way around the field, different parts, like some maniac has driven across here with a plow chased by the farmer, they're going to get off, stop plowing my field

and yeah look, just beauty, every just you walk up there, everything is beautiful here, let's see if you can get those into the here, beautifully, that was a nice cricket ball, a bit large cricket ball shaped, a bit bigger than I thought it was, that's more of a sausage, but a big, very big sausage, it hasn't quite made it to the edge but I'll pick that up next time down here, oh that one's fallen short, again not a perfect throw, we'll get off some distance, I'm surveying what's here, a couple of these are going to go in the direction of the bench, so let's don't know, let's hit some soil, it's nice and whitey, I'm not going to say that anymore, say a bad whitey now aren't you,

oh it's all changed since I was a lad, now I'm heading back in towards the land, just for safety's sake, it's happening to say out there that you can drown, when there are riches like this you can get so overwhelmed, can't move away from the field, you have to learn the discipline of leaving stones behind another time, their time will come, time will come, oh it's going to drop one of the stones but nice to recover it, well it's been a difficult week for me with all the geese have landed over there, they're too far away from me to take a photo, they're all just sitting looking at me, in wonder I would think, maybe just planning to come and attack and kill me,

walk us in a wee, it's a difficult week with the allegations, I've decided to come clean, hope you can forgive me, I'm not saying I won't go back and cheat again, started some nice cairns, maybe I'm man enough to do more than one field, yeah, maybe the less testicles you have the more fields you're allowed to do, we thought about that, the ditch will stop brexit, you can actually see inside it now, it's been cut back enough, I'll throw those two, oh one of them got hit into the weeds that are remaining some huge nettles, almost got thrown back out again but then just gravity, I've got a beauty for the alphanomic can, very important can, always remember to put at least a tiny stone

on the entrance and exit part of your field, always remember, well we've been free of the molestation apart from those geese that are still really looking at me, maybe they are laying now, looks like there's five of them now, maybe they've eaten one of the geese, just put this on me after an alphanomic can, the gods will not forgive you if you don't do that, no stone pole, let's time to look at your emails, Claire Goose has emailed from ladies me Claire Goose, the actress you may remember from 1990s casualty, I was quite attractive as I remember, quite attractive actor, still am but you know just that's my memory of myself at that time, just coincidence like any geese floating around

while reading out my email, I didn't know that was going to happen but I did wonder have you ever accidentally killed a goose, if I throw up when you're trying to start a goose it's just, I'm just, I'm not obsessed with geese, it's just interesting because my name is Goose and uh, have you ever accidentally killed a goose, oh well I don't think I'd tell you if I had to because you obviously like geese, so I'm doing casualty by the way and all the other stuff you've done since then, you're right you were very attractive what I've done for them for having their conscience to say that, I have not killed any animal as far as I'm concerned as so far as I'm aware, there's no way I've known if a bowl or a kind of shrew might be on the receiving end of a

stone, that ant might have been crushed but I feel like insects probably can survive anything but a pretty direct hit and even an otter, similar sized squirrel, rat, I think they'd be stunned to move on but no, I think I've noticed a geese, I think their stone's pretty low to really not hit the flying birds and the nesting bird of course maybe hit, so if it hits an egg I'm afraid that is game over but I don't think I've even hit a goose egg or any egg, sorry I don't know, so thanks for your email, give me a call if you're intermediate or above, I want to come out for stone Christmas, remember the rules of polite society do not operate on the field, we can do anything out there and my wife is not allowed

legally to complain, so I'll just put that out there for you, so I think that's the end of my better coming in the front door this time so there's every chance my wife said everywhere so I could be in some trouble now but I'll leave it there, thanks for tuning in, sorry it's a bit of a short one, that's the first time I said that, see you next time on time clearing with Richard Haringen, we'll see you then Stone clearing with Richard Haringen starting me Richard Haringen, we'll feed the dog nobody else this time apart from those six geese a-flying, the music is by Mike Cotgrave the voice of the Photon's is Michael Faheen

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