Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 107

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Moby'f Dick. It's 7.52am on 21st September 2021 and Rich just got some junk from the recycling bin on his fingers, but he doesn't mention it in the chapter as that would be unprofessional. Stone Chriftmaf has arrived and though that makes stone clearing easy, it also leads to psychological problems that every intermediate stone clearer must learn to address and live with. But also some big stones to find and disperse. The FF have been quiet, maybe a bit too quiet and there's a philosophical email to address and some poo to carry around, but apart from that it's pretty much run of the mill.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring We got most of Gary Get my waffles Yucky yuck Hello my finest friends Oh woofy She's a lot better She's not been so good

It's What are we on the 21st of October? 7.53am Sorry September My wife's birthday is the 21st of October If you want to start preparing for that It's chapter 107 107

A lot of people thought we'd never get here We're heading up It's nice actually It's a warm Chilly morning I want to say warm I don't mean it's chilly But the sun is rising

So it will be a warm morning I'm not wearing a coat I'm wearing my York City football top So I get called up Which is Looking increasingly likely And We'll be feeling a wee

I think she wanted that She has not been well We'll be actually On the last Episode You may remember There was a bit of Balanage between her and the cat

I think that was the last episode And maybe it was the previous one And That's right She cut her foot anyway And It kind of got worse for a week And then

She's had some antibiotics And it seems to be okay I'm going to risk her out on the field The good news Come here wolves We'll let you off Come here The good news

The fantastic news But I was not really anticipating Because it is September It is that the field has been plowed Properly plowed now And there are stones all over The fucking shop I don't know if we

Can really do much In an intermediate sense Because it's going to be too easy But we'll see Just stones everywhere Just lying around on the ground It's a beautiful day And however seriously

You take stone clearing I don't think there's a stone clearing In the world who doesn't get excited When the field has been plowed up All the stones that were once underneath Are now atop And there are some beauties to be here All that stupidity

Where I have cheated on the field Went off to other fields Where there were bigger stones Now I feel stupid Because look There's just stones everywhere you go I mean in a way it's depressing Due to the fact that

There's like a billion stones Just within two metres of where I'm standing My work is still far from over I'm glad about that Because I like stone clearing But I can't move on To another field if I do this one Those are the rules

There are no rules But those are the rules It's a bit of hassle Offing can go on today as well If I see something exciting in the distance There's presumably nothing planted yet That everything's in neat and rose Dropped my

Willoughby come here Come here Am I still working? I think so My rubbish I've had pro-iPhone Earpod That thing came out

That's what happened Are you doing another poo? What are we doing? So Wolfie's poor She ignored a little bit Because the bandage was too tight Good girl We'll get that one

Never stops pooing this dog That's the thing with her You think, sure she's done All the poo she needs to do in the world But no, another day comes Another poo I don't know if I should secrete this I could put it in my pocket

Pooing, it really smells I've said early there Because I'm used to I'll carry it I can carry poo and clear stones And walk a dog at the same time Right, I've got a limited amount of time today So I don't want to dick around

But it's hard to resist The call of the stones That's another one, that's a good one Oh Wolfie, it's too much isn't it? I think we're going to have to take the short route Because there's too many stones Too many stones to clear That one's not even really on the field

But I'm going to clear it anyway Oh dear So yeah, here we are There's after all that Excuse me, a bit of a After all of that pain we went through together Where hardly any stones could be cleared now The opposite problem is almost

A psychologically upsetting There's a billion stones And I guess that's where we get into media How do you cope with that responsibility? All these stones I can show you can hear Screaming out, come on I've been underground for so long Get me off of this field so I can

Live again I'm sure you can hear that That was me that time saying That's the only thing that was one of the stones But I'm sure you can hear that That was a background noise As long as there's a nice one Look at that

It's been a while since we've seen one like that And they Wolfs I mean it's only Large, small I'd say But maybe medium Large That's still lovely to see After this time of

Hey everywhere Well this, you do have to You do have to tune out The cries of the stones And listen for the ones that you know Some of the stones we'll speak to Some of the stones will say it is my time And you'll know when it's their time

But equally You can't rescue everything Straight away If you saw the great escape They tried to get all the men out At once that didn't work You have to do it slowly, slowly Catchy stony

Oh look at that one Wolfs I mean I'm not Oh I can see one in the distance I want a Hasselhoff do it Let's do one Hasselhoff That's what we're about now Oh and it's going to that one I've seen others

That one listening with their snails Crossed this stone this morning That must have been disgusting For the stone snails Snail crawling across your face Can't move there's nothing you can do But don't worry where you're going There'll be probably less

Probably more insects actually But at least you'll be off the field There we go some nice They're just mediums I'm not going crazy But I am on the lookout for some There's some huge stones There's a lovely round brownie there

That's off That's off So yeah don't be put off By the magnitude of what you're doing If you stop and thought Even for a second My god there must be 10 billion stones on this field

I'm just one stone clearer What can I really do here Than you would to go mad You have to just Take it one stone at a time When you're running a math And you're going Oh this'll be like a million steps

I'm not doing that But one step at a time And eight hours later You find yourself crossing that line Quite tired Wondering whether it was worth it I think in was that Well I could have just stayed at home

Watch telly what I've done But that's what I'm talking about Right there Lovely another white roundie There's no colour prejudice where I'm from White and brown stones Lived together In perfect harmony

A bit of Some kind of Tiling there that's coming off Put it in there from the Roman villa Slash one meal And all the weeds have gone as well Oh look at that one wolf I'm going to get you back on the lead wolves

Because for this We're entering unknown territory Look at this we might have found A decent sized stone have we It's white and glinted in the sun It's not that big but It's worth the journey to get it Get it off

It's off It's off and let's put a couple of big stones on there The cairn in the corner of the field That's Been starved Of company over the last few Been hard to get to over the last A few months and weeks

I'm just putting one on I've actually been disrupted a bit by The Cutting process but It's still clearly there Right we're going up the hill Like Jack and Jill Fetch a pail of stones

If I'd brought a pail with me That would be useful actually at the moment Because you could do a little Pancel off Oh look at that is that a stone Look at that That's the size of your nose And most of your head

Beautiful and it is dark like soil It thought it would escape me But nothing can escape me I see stones I see living stones I see dead stones Of course you can't carry a pail with you Jack and Jill that's why they Came to such

A sticky end There's no rules to stone clearing That's the first rule of stone clearing Second rule you must not carry with you Any kind of Basket Or stone carrying equipment It must all be done

In your hands and arms The pockets are acceptable if you are wearing clothes But only just And should think carefully about your life If you use a pocket I've done all those things of course In my reckless youth I thought I knew better than the

Elders that wrote the Stone rule protocols But now it's all by hand I don't even bring my child out with me anymore Like doing the winter because it gets hard then All by hand I'm carrying My socks gone up

In my boot a bit That's annoying You nearly got Clobbered in the face there Trying to jump up and catch a stone These do look very like balls The ones I'm throwing here About the size of cricket ball

It's been slightly flattened It's off the field now don't worry All these stones are going off the field All of them will be off eventually If you'll wait your turn that's the thing Don't worry about the stones you leave behind Because their time will come It's not from you, from a future stone clearer

Look at that one That's a good medium Small just lying almost on the path That's been underground Overground, wandering free Oh when I just think of There's a witch's finger, a witch's dick I haven't seen those for a little while have we

When I think of all the weeks Walking along here Really struggling to find anything And there's just a lovely Bang on medium Only two meters from the shore That's been waiting all that time for me to come We're going across the field here

We're going to do a quick I'm going today This is not so interesting Is it to listen to the successes More interesting to listen More interesting to listen When I'm struggling When I'm being stung

Up we go across the pathway Starting to form back across the field already Just throwing stones towards the camera Across from the main can And lob A couple of tiddlers there Check for animals and people before you throw That one nearly made it

That one will be there next time That one's just nearly bounced onto the path But that one will be It's closer Again, no stones at all In the old days I don't know what's happened to them Maybe Covid has taken them down

In the old days you couldn't move across this field With that Stones at us Wizzing by on a mobility scooter Or a Moorlock I haven't seen the Moorlocks for a while I haven't seen Judy Murray on here since that day I saw Judy Murray on here

As I suppose As beautiful as it is to see all the stones The difficulty is That everything becomes like clumps of earth Once the clouds come Oh, there's a brown As I walk across it's usually quite a second part of the field It's actually hard to spot anything

Which makes me hopeful that most of the stones Are around the edge And I've cleared a lot of them Having said that, I've just spotted a monster out here Taking a little diversion out to get it Oh, it's only medium But it's nice, it's a nice one It's a medium large

It's got a bit of a chunk to it I think we'll find a few down here And the path Is not yet clearly defined Which gives you a good reason to stray out into the ocean Oh, sorry, I'm not on the path I didn't really even notice Somewhere out there lies the Moby Dick stone

Huge stone, possibly in the shape of a dick Possibly in the shape of a Moby I'll find it one day The legend If I Some say it's Moby's dick Which is not as exciting If it is Moby's dick it's like

Times a million Real Moby's dick According to all sources Just reporting what I've heard There was a very big stone there Actually, but it was small And here we go I'm running across here with my friend

On Sundays And I had to pass stones like that baby And that is certainly On the borderline between medium and large I have to hold that with one hand The other three I've got my left hand now And there's another nice one

Well, we'll get five off here But I think that might be the limit There's a stone Stone stars are coming She may have seen what we're doing They dropped a stone And we're passing some beauties There's another fantastic one there

I'll definitely pick that up another time I might have to go up to She's really blocking the way I'm looking at her phone We're just going to dump these on the top of the main came There's no time for soft to fuse Towards the stone pole We'll be able to do anything about it

I've turned my york to the top And yet to see Moby's dick Or Moby dick I don't know what it is I think we're going to have to try I wasn't planning on coming this route I still got time

I'm planning on doing a stone pole We might get a stone pole in But we will have to wait for this Stone starsy either missed me Because she was on her phone Or is reporting me on her phone right now You never know Just got me a nice stone

Dropped my dog shit bag I'm going to pick that up again That nice medium is off We're going to head up As if we're headed towards the In the middle of the field Maybe we'll go that far and come back She's coming around that corner

Hot pursuit Well this is what we've missed isn't it This excitement Could be Even a death Or maybe I will have once again escaped Like Robin Hood That's just

Evolving play Maybe as she died I can ask her why Why are you so angry About people cleaning stones Alright we're going to the soles Oh I don't know where she's gone She might have gone a different way I mean I think

It might be a trick There's lots of stones here for the Stone pole She seems to have turned around Maybe I don't know what that means She was in hot pursuit Does that mean she's sent someone else after me Yeah she's gone the other way

Yeah It may be a clever chess move Move I'm not going to go to the centre No don't need to But I'm going to pick up five lovely What's that? Is that a stone? Yeah it looks like a Some sort of

Metal tool So it's been chopped in half Very cleanly These are nice sized stones that might have to Bowl under on here Wolfie Excited dog shit bag in one And hello Wolfie

Don't wreck this for me I did five out of five last time Six out of five Number one It's a clear miss since it's out of the field We're bounded off the back pole Onto the back of the pole We'll call it half out of two

Half out of three this isn't looking good Wolfie that's one on half out of four That's nicely Right at the base think it hit it Two and a half out of five Bang on average Bang on the middle Neither good luck or bad luck will come your way

My phone friends but if you want to make it Slightly better luck Why not sponsor me Justgiving.com Slash Monable Don't forget you can subscribe on Twitch If you're with Amazon Prime give me money for free

Or become a monthly badger You can have such patches You get all sorts of benefits for that And it means these podcasts can continue Huge expenses It costs a lot of money to put this together as you can imagine Two and a half out of five First time that's happened I think

So I've been given an easy ride By the stone Starzy which is nice Might as well go back and pick up that big stone I saw near to the central cairn Just a nice medium small Off into the side here There's a lovely fence along here as you know That if you've worked it may just got confused

Because I've taken a slightly different route We're heading back to the main The main cairn now There's a wire fence that you can just throw your stones into As long as you don't bounce through it That forms a nice barrier That your wall can grow against The vegetation not being cut back far enough

For us to be able to see How magnificent that wall must be By now after three is it three years Must be three years now Nearly ten years since we started doing Self-playing snooker Not that that will interest you guys Your slag hags

Your not Your slag hags Oh I've got a hassle Off here There's just a big round Stone Sitting atop the field It's ten or fifteen meters away

For zooming there's an Oh look at that beautiful thing It's like A planet It's almost a perfect sphere Let's take a picture of it We'll be sitting next to it For scale

She seems okay Don't read your leg Oh It's as big as A Child's head It's probably a two-year-old's head That can go right on the main can

Let's just be old school Let's just not try and be tricksy Let's just put these big stones Right in the middle or right at the top At the main can Let's go back and see if we can find The other one that I saw We've done a kilometer

Twenty-two minutes and eighteen seconds That shows how slowly we've been going There's that one that I was going to pick up This is the problem, you can just get Stone blind You could be stuck out here for weeks Picking up big stones And

Your cover could be blown Got to take the kids to school Three Bang on mediums here We're really going to be able to build This main can back to its former glory It sunk a little bit through gravity It's been, of course, vandalized this ship

But we are getting to the stage where it's Starting to look like It's Former self Yeah, that's nice Those three or four I've just put on Really adding to the heft It's been a while since we've ever put anything that big on

Oh, Jesus, Louisus So, sixteen minutes past eight That's fine, we're all on time, don't worry I'm coming down towards the ditch that stopped Brexit Thank goodness for this ditch I hate to think what could have happened To energy Shop sales

Shop sales, she shall she shop sales Good girl, didn't we? Good girl If it weren't for me and my ditch It doesn't bear thinking about always a lovely stone there Wolfs, look at that Again, this is usually Rather barren, look at that, just lying on top of the ground

Like the skull Of the Neanderthal The tire, that's the size of it The top skull The top part of the skull without the mandible It's off now I could stay out here all day and I might come back Well, that one's splitting too

Looks like it's one stone But it's cleft between both parts Off the field together How that broke in that particular way, I don't know That's the cruelty of the plow But Is it cruel when it just Creates more stones?

Not in volume, but in number Makes it hard, my job harder, of course Right, so you get a clump Just stamp on it and see if it's a stone Or if it's a clump of soil Those last two just fell apart Just soil, I'm not interested If it's organic, it's no need to panic

If it's not, chuck the tops Those are the Ancient rime That helped stone clears They were a lot as intelligent as me to be fair I can just remember that Without a rhyme I've got a 2-1 in history from Oxford University

But the stone clears of the past Were quite stupid and if it wasn't in a rhyme They would find it difficult to remember And here we are The bitch That stopped Drexit Drexit definitely didn't happen

Thanks to this picture, I can see it And it's been cut back enough for me to already see Oh, excuse me The That's probably quite a number of stones in there Let's get a couple together for the alphanomega cairn I got a tweet from someone who found The alphanomega cairn yesterday

Slightly scary I definitely got it It's quite well hidden away as well So I took some kind of stalking skills To get there And I am, you know, Understandably terrified You know how close to my house it is

You can just do the maths Of how long it takes to walk, it's not far So If I die, check through my twitter feed Here it is though The alphanomega cairn The one I threw just now Not quite hitting its target

I want to pull it in the way, so I'll push that a bit closer It's looking pretty good Off the field we go, down Duckett's Passage Time for urine, just time for a couple of emails Before I take the kids to school Um Grassy compost Um

See some kind of nickname there Probably because if you had the surname compost By the shitty compost Or grassy compost, doesn't it? That's your nickname Um They've been in touch To say

What is a stone? Now, you know, there you go, that's a Good question, just a simple question You don't have to do long rambling stuff You don't have to be a celebrity, you can see it all Plus my grassy A stone is A clump of minerals

Usually in A smallish form, but can get bigger A litter Fields all over the world Right And that belong Um Together in the edge of fields, that's what they are

That's how the dictionary defines them But of course, I think there's more to your question And that's the demographic You're asking, what does it take to be a stone Come over here, come here And uh, what really is a stone? And it's a beautiful thing, sir Not just a lump of

Nothingness Softened, hardened Lava It's It's an actual being From the soul An eternal soul And you know

I don't know all the answers, I don't have all the answers That's as far as I'm monitoring the advanced course Maybe we'll get a bit further and understand what a stone is But thank you for that question I almost felt like I was struggling To even have a question This way you can I think that's better than

any of the questions I've been asked In the past I'm just going to put this dog food in the bin Because I'm a responsible dog owner Or at least have to appear like one If I don't want my stone clearing Activities to be discovered There's people in this village more upset about dog shit than

Anything else I think as long as you're putting your dog shit in the dog shit bin They probably let you Let a few murders go by But it's not complaining about anything It's been a day today so I do need to get going Because

I can't get trapped My lorry's on the way to school So I think we'll bid you a jet That's One of Kevin Noby's dick Well sorted out Not a classic

But I'm sure you enjoyed the glee And vicariously enjoyed What it is to Clear Multitudes of stones with no Difficulties I'm going to leave you to enjoy your stone clearing Be kind to each other

Goodbye Living to the stone My friend And they've a helping year Merry dance Don't live into The bird fan Tree

Don't live into Your underpants Living To the stone Living To the stone And they In turn

Are living To you My friend My pine friend The music is by Mike Coffgrave The voice of the Photones is Michael Faheen Living to the stone My friend

And they've a helping year Merry dance Don't live into The bird fan Tree Don't live into Your underpants Living

To the stone Living To the stone And they In turn Are living To you My friend

My pine friend Thanks for watching!