Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 111

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Chapter 111 - Furry Dog Fhit. It's 3.40pm on 21st December 2022 and Richard is taking a look back over a turbulent year for stones of all kinds, plus a seasonal look at which of the seven dwarves Richard would choose to pleasure (with their consent). The Stone Stasi are out in force and somehow manage to interrupt transmission just at the end of the stone pole. We pick up at the Brexit ditch and believe you me, we've lost so absolute gold. Including some stuff about the true meaning of Chriftmaf. Ah well.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring And lo, a virgin did give birth to Anne Baby whom they call Jeefus Drift and he was a stone clearer amongst men. He cleared the tone in her vaginal canal and then jumped forth, she howting, I am the way, the truth, and the light, and I will clear stones by day and by night and if you don't do that as well you are for height, for I am Jeefus and my name is Christ. And that baby was the baby we celebrate at Christmas which it basically is now. Welcome to chapter 111, it's the 21st of December 2021, 15.40pm, unusual time to be out but I like to mix it up. The dog's been away, we've got a holiday at the in-laws and they have a slightly different walk

schedule so we're easing her back into her usual time. So good news is it's still daylight here on the Stocian, the Stocian is green with what looks like grass but I'm going to kind of plant it grass, it must be something else. The new crop is growing, what it will be, only time will tell, you nobody knows. At this point not even the farmer, they're just chucking some seeds, see what comes out. If only there was some way of telling what seed would be which plant and I guess they could plant the same thing every year. I thought I'd seen a monster stone, it was just a leaf and there's a lot of that today, not a leaf certainly on this part of the field, some weird bits of poo that have got all fuzzy, don't touch those and kicking off a few loose bits of shale off the

Stocian, just the edge of the Stocian. Wolfie's running wild, a little plastic pot there, I'll get rid of that, I shouldn't be here and it's just about counts as non-organic, certainly would take a long time to disappear naturally, so get it off the field, little plastic pot. Sorry it's been a little while since we've been out, for you anyway, of course I've been here but just haven't brought you guys along with me, I've been out every day, every night. Stone clearing does not stop for Christmas if anything, Christmas is what stone clearing is really all about. If you're not clearing stones on Christmas Day, have a good hard look at yourself about whether you understand the true meaning of Christmas at all, but it's not Christmas Day today, it's the 21st,

more weird fluffy poo. Wolfie's eating some grass, she's an idiot, or a tiny little round, I like that one, looks almost like a Christmas chocolate, spherical, one of those spherical ones. Wolfie having a sniff around, maybe planting a poo, maybe just be looking for some food, we don't know, we don't know what goes on the side of her head, I guess we'll never know. And I guess there's some nice stone to clear, looking out I can see, even despite the crops I can see stones stretching out far into the open, I won't, sorry the ocean, I won't go out there today, the crop is not, we'll have to wait until the crop has been taken. What a year it's been, what a year for stone clearing, looking back there may be one more before the year's over,

but just in case we should review the year, there's been many stones cleared, one of them from me of course, I hope I don't get any more of my own stones cleared, a slight hassle off here, I've seen something interesting out here, and it's a nice caramel, I mean it's not huge, just attracted me and it spoke to me, it said Richard, it's Christmas, do you have it in your heart to transgress onto the ocean, and I did, can't do that for every stone out there, but that one was special. So yeah I'm hoping I can hold, the gods will allow me to hold on to my other stone, still regretting not replacing my missing stone with the natural stone, but also we've cleared a lot of stones, you know a lot of stones have come off the field, didn't quite manage the 20

levels of coming out and filming most days, it became like Joe Wicks didn't it that, if you remember the country was tuning in, watching, all around the world, but still cleared a fair tonnage of stones, and I think if you came down and had a look around you'd go wow this is a lot clearer of stones than it was this time last year, you'd be impressed if you were here watching it, you see you can't see you just have to use the picture that I'm painting with with my words and coming out my mouth, and I'm sure in a way that's enough because I'm saying look not as many stones as last time and that I think you just have to take that on trust, but also you've heard me clear them, do you think I'd be walking around here just saying I was clearing stones and then

just not clearing stones, that would be an insane waste of everyone's time, look I'm clearing a couple of stones right now, two more stones off, I don't think a human man or woman, not being sexist, could even pick up the number of stones I've cleared this year, whoopee, what are you doing? If you tried to pick them up you'd probably need some kind of articulated lorry or you know one of those machines that picks up things, it could be a machine, no human person or animal I don't think you just fed them all into its mouth, I'm not advising you to try that and also that would be against the rules of stonefing, there are no rules of stonefing, that's the first rule of stonefing, oh lovely, almost flatten ball, cricket ball sized stone coming off here, lovely

caramel one again for Christmas, but the second rule, that's the first rule, there are rules the second rule is you must not take any stones off the field, in any circumstances they must stay on the edge of the field once they're cleared forming a wall that will be visible from space and so on, any stone that's cleared will only bring off the field, will only bring bad luck, I mean if you just ask the blue whale that's full of all the stones I've cleared this year and he'll tell you yeah that wasn't very good luck for me, I've got bad tummy ache and I'm probably dead as well, it didn't, I want to clarify this didn't, hasn't happened I'm just, it's an imagine for me situation but I'm prepared to do it if anyone's offering enough money and a whale, so we might do just

because I don't know how long I'll walk off his head today, it might take him the long way around for the first time for a while, she's having a nice time, I've not been very well this last month I've had a bit of back pain perennial problem for the stone clearer, I've had a bit of diarrhea the weekend, it's cleared up, I had a pretty bad bug of some kind as well before that, it was not COVID according to the COVID tests at least, hoping I can get through through Christmas without contracting a deadly virus but so once Christmas is over, don't care, that's the way we're basically all feeling isn't it at the moment as long as we get through Christmas, doesn't matter if in January 60,000 of us die, we've got

through Christmas and that's all that matters, oh and there's some, for the first time in a while, Wolfie stop, stone stars across in the field, I might be able to get through to the next side of the field, they've got a couple of dogs, Daphne cements in my mind that we are going to go the long way around, pass the singing ring entry, this could be the day and I still want to kick that stone off there rather cleverly, another one here, didn't go quite as far, I can clear that up tomorrow, just passing the can across from the main can, looking slothingly I have to say, looks like a scurry of stones but they're still off the field and that's all that matters, we've got past the stone stars,

they missed time, they're crossing a little bit and here we go for the first time in a while, heading up to the top corner, can't really clear any stones right now, I'm under direct gaze, there are two very tall people, I'd say one of them is a female, unusually tall, taller than the male, actually the man is not that tall but the woman is unusually tall, I'd say about nine feet tall, I don't know what race she's from, what era, what mythological kingdom, but at Christmas weird things can happen, oh and I'm going to take that one off even though that could be my death, that one was too good to miss, nice medium, nice medium stone off the field, the crops come right up to the edge of the field here so you can actually have to walk on them,

which is good for the stone clearer, a nice bit of windmill or something here, either a romavilla or a windmill, a nice bit of ancient brick, it's rounded like a stone, been battered by the weather, in a while since we've taken off the romavilla, which we then decided was probably a windmill based on map evidence, ancient maps, so I hope you've enjoyed the journey this year, how far we've come, that looks like a little brick as well, but I think that's what makes made a stone, but it looks like it's been cune, that was the largest of the day, I just tossed off there casually without even mentioning it, I should have just mentioned it, just found that in the pathway,

there might be a few surprises up here because it has been a little while since I've come this far, so the stones will have grown, the stones will have become less cautious, more used to human beings, they're scared when they see a human being coming, they're probably more scared actually, well there's another bit of brick, there's very much the area for the romavilla, now one of those stone stars will be coming up the path, another bit of brick, I'm going to take the bricks off, they'll be coming alongside me where they can, oh nice, another round, another caramel roundy,

a bigger, too big to be a chocolate, smaller than a potato, small potato, and nearly gets the singing ring entry, that one, but I'll give this one to the singing ring entry, yeah they're coming up the pathway, that's clever of them, very clever, and again slightly cramping my style, which would be funny if there was an actual style that they had to get across, but there isn't, we're pushing onwards, and there's the the undergrowth between the field and the pathway becomes a bit denser here, which is both good and bad, it hides what I'm doing, but also hides what they're doing, in this game of cat and mouse it's been nice that there's not

been much action from, lovely, that's the biggest today there, that's again just on the edge of the field, and another decent chunk there, even just today, I think if you put all these stones of clay today into the mouth of a blue male, or a blue whale he wouldn't be that happy, you're alright, particularly the baby blue whale, I'm not saying you should do that, they probably eat quite a lot of sand and stuff, that's what it goes through, it's not really something most stone players have to consider, unless you're just clearing by a beach where there are some beach blue whales, wow there's just tons of stock, why have I not come maybe recently, it's just this just medium, medium, medium bang, like really good chunks of stone,

they're all just on the path, feels almost like a trap, oh, more stone starsy they've cleared out, I thought I'd blow them into a false sense of security, but I'm not coming up here so much, but they're ready for me, I'm clearing all the way, jingle jingle bells, jingle stones, jingle stones, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to clear a stone on Christmas Day, the origin of that song, they do sort of jingle and they when they hit each other, a nice one that's sort of shape of a kidney, I hope it wasn't a actual kidney, it could have been a witch's kidney, so the other stone starsy ahead of me are coming down through the neighboring field,

the one that I occasionally transgress into, breaking all the laws of stone clearing, will they come into this field, we don't know, remains to be seen, just a little one there, just tossed off a little one, as that's no why it's said, I have to, giving hand relief to Dopey, it's not sexist, it's seasonal, it's not disabled, she probably did blank them off occasionally, she's only human, and Dopey would be the one I went for, if I was going to wank off any of the only the seven dwarfs, I have to tix it of course, oh my god that on the field,

there's a black dog, I was excited off a lead, oh and a black dog wearing a red coat and another dog, shit, they're heading, one of them's looking at Wolfie, the one in the red coat, but having sized Wolfie up, Wolfie's keen to go, but having sized Wolfie up, that red coated dog, so weak it needs a fucking coat on, it's not even that cold, I mean I've got a coat on, but I'm a human being, Wolfie, Wolfie, stop it, stop it, we're here to clear stones, not to mate with dogs, we'll fight for whatever you want to do, they've gone along the periphery of the field, maybe thinking they could spy me through the hedge, but the jokes on them, because I'm going to take the diagonal, as you would know, if they listen to the podcast, which of course they

don't, it's secret please keep it secret, Wolfie come here, I usually get going, I have sometimes gone the long way around, Wolfie, that's not our field, get off there, I will throw a stone into the borderland, the border wall, you know this is a very second place for stones here, this corner, don't need to tell you, you've listened to 110 podcasts, you better have, oh and there's a nice mint again, love just a lovely, just stones, stone upon stone, and that one's nears and poo, but I can avoid it, it's almost too big to throw from here, Wolfie's going to chase it, but luckily it's gone beyond it, and it's some nice stones here, very nice stone, just have to make sure it's not being observed, this is where I cut my finger that time, but

doing some good work here, that one's down on the path, but that can be clear enough to, yeah I'll show up these stones to watch out, do wear gloves if you're worried, there's a lot more there I could clear, but I'll make do with the ones I've thrown off, yeah so if I was going to wank off one of the seven dwarfs, Dopey definitely, Titsy would be in the top two, but is not a natural dwarf, nearly got in there Titsy, I guess I think Doc would be last, just because I, as the most normal of the dwarfs, I think he would be able to get sex elsewhere, it's no judgment against intelligent people, or little people, I guess Sneezy would be again just, the vulnerability I guess is what I go for when it comes to wanking off a dwarf, I can't ignore this of course,

talking about fantasies, happy, he's already happy, Grumpy is that one called Grumpy, I'd give him a wink, those are my top three, I'd say Dopey, Sneezy and Grumpy, but in a way do you want to wank off Grumpy because then he won't be Grumpy, it's a minefield that's the thing, that's why probably Snow White probably decided to stay clear of it, maybe did it once, realised the can of worms, I'm not saying the dwarfs had worm-like penises, I'm sure they were absolutely normal-sized penises, it's just a phrase, for the PC Brigade, get on to me, I'm talking about giving sexual satisfaction to dwarfs, you know, I'm the most PC person you could be, I'm watching announcer stuff now, I can't stop doing that, I don't know why it does that, it's

very annoying, there's some nice stones here, some of them a little way out into the ocean, I'm not going to pick up anything yet, still a little way to the central can, good news is we'll get a stone pole in, the stone stars are allowing, so as you've missed that, which will at least give you a Christmas idea of how a Christmas is going to be going for you, and maybe the new year too, got a good feeling about 2022, I think things are going to go pretty well, for me, for stones, for you too, I think we're all going to have a good, I think all of us can have a nice year, that's my guess, so I think I said 2021 was going to be a good year, definitely thought 2020 was going to be a good year, and you know it wasn't because we got all

that extra stone clearing, nice almost pyramid shaped dark brown stone I've chosen to pick up, that's going on the central can, I might have actually left it too late, that did pass so many it's cold, this stone, we're starting to feel the winter stone reminding us of our own death, here's a slightly penis shaped stone I've picked up, only got two stones, well it's a disappointing haul for that long walk, great, and the foliage around the central can has died away a little bit since I've last been out here, I should find another nice medium just before we reach it, so it's not been a wasted journey, another look as grand as I remember, I don't know if anyone's been

fiddling with my stones, I hope not, oh shoot, there are a few nice big stones here nearby so I don't know if someone's taken them off and chucked them back in, that is the biggest of the day, look at the size of that, it's like a medium-sized Millennium Falcon toy in shape and size, and we'll get this one off as another kind of flat large stone caramel, they're mainly caramel, it's Christmas, and as we head down we'll just take a couple off the path as we head down towards the stone pole, do we want to get our five stones together now, maybe we do, we're a long way away there's lots here and I don't want to be left with nothing to throw, so gathering five stones,

we're all set, and there's a nice biggie here, am I near enough to the central can to throw this, nice chunk of stone, it's like a bowling ball, I have to get that and that's gone right on the path, there for another day, question mark, question mark, question mark is there, oh the dusk is coming in and I've just spotted another stone starzy on the far path, walking away from where I'm going luckily, I didn't see him, could have been right on top of him when I was picking those stones up, chucking stones around, that's the end of the game over, and I lulled into false sense of security, maybe they've done this on purpose,

oh these stones are cold Lord, they're cold, oh will I be that cold one day, when I lie in my grave, oh my god, am I mortal Wolfie, am I a you mortal, I feel we'll live forever, I feel we've already died, and this is our life forever now I hope so, you and I together, two amigos, bad bashful would have been, I mean but he's already full of bashing in me so I don't think he would be up for it, I would definitely only masturbate one of these drawers if they consented, I'm not talking about sneaking into their rooms, I'm just seeing how we go, I could go out for dinner, have a chat, let's say you know Dopey,

I would do a chat with a doctor, well with Doc probably that Dopey was of right mind enough to make his own decisions about sexual partners, but you know I'd ask them if you want to answer me, just as a friend, it's not going to lead anywhere, I think as long as you don't make your, as long as you're honest from the start about your intentions, I think it's all fine, right we're at the stone pole, oh there's a nice stone, I'm just going to toss this one doesn't count, is it a leaf, no it's a nice stone, I'm just going to toss this one off, this isn't going to count, I'm just trying to get, I can use it as a place marker for the next stone, that missed the stone pole by a lot, and Wolfie is right in the

way, oh he did the dart thing, let's try that, one out of one, oh miss, oh miss that was the wrong pole, one out of three, two out of four, this is the decider oh it just caught it, I'm going to count well then when we stopped the recording had stopped, hopefully you've got most of the stuff, there's some dog poop I'm taking a picture of, it's come out quite well hopefully you just stopped it when I took it out of my pocket, you never know, more dog poop with fluff on it, probably take this stone for the, I hope you haven't lost loads of exciting stuff, there's some great stuff there if it went off

when my watch started talking, which I wouldn't be surprised at, but that's the thing with yeah miss I think to be honest, just in case it all recorded, I'd better just be honest and say you didn't miss a fucking thing, we're down on Duckett's Passage now, we're heading off and just time for your emails, something I was emailed since I asked earlier, if that might not have gone out, dusky shadows, have this been in touch, I am an exotic dancer and I still like listening to stone clearing though, just because I'm an exotic dancer, there's no reason why I wouldn't know, not all of your citizenship are weird virgins, and maybe I'm a virgin, you don't know just because I'm an exotic dancer doesn't mean I have sex with lots of people, anyway

would you like me to do an exotic dance for you, the verdict reward for everything you've done, Wolfie, come here, good girl, hold up, Wolfie, stay here, there's a million dogs down here, dog central all of a sudden, come here, Wolfie, come here, just stop there, there's always lots of people waiting in the bottom of the path suspiciously, the tall lady and the small man with her, Wolfie tried to get their dogs, another dog was passing it, it was like a dog spaghetti junction, yes I would like that, dusky please send some pictures or something, oh my wife, I'll only say that because you'll find, I know there's nothing, you should be a shame dog, but you'll just find out about stone clearing if you come

to give me a dance, but it'd be nice if you know people paid me back, whatever currency they have, that's what I'm saying, so maybe come to yours, don't smoothe, just don't tell mine, Wolfie, she's making the kids a tea, she must never find out about this, all right, well have a Christmas, Merry New Year, sorry if we lost some stuff there, and we'll see you again on the other side, Merry Christmas, goodbye. Stone clearing with Richard Herring, start me Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog, plus those really tall women and their dogs and they came back in at the end of the day and some other stone starsy, sorry the recording got screwed up, you missed some amazing stuff about the true

meaning of Christmas and Omega versus Micron, it was amazing, sorry about that, the voice of the Potomac is Michael Pahine, their music is by Michael Cockgrave. To the throne and they in turn fell live her, to ye my friend, my fine friend.