Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 112

Episode Date: December 27, 2021

Chapter 112 - Jefuf Versus Reef-Mogg - It's nearly lunchtime on 27th December and Richard is having more technical issues, especially when he tries to do his bit about Omega versus Omicron which goes missing for the second time in two podcasts. Hopefully it settles down once Firi is turned off because Rich has some messages about the true meaning of Christmas, a celebrity email and a great Pacman analogy which is only slightly spoiled by the bit where he finds the Pacman stone not being recorded. Happy New Year.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Come on darling Good girl, come on Willoughby stay still darling, because otherwise I can't put your lead on, can I? When are you going to learn? Can you learn that? There we go, that would do some so hard, was it? Right, I'll see you

Well hello my fine friends Hello flag hags Welcome to what might be the last stone clearing chapter of 2021 Of course I'm out every day It's the 27th of December 2021, it's 12.43pm Little wobbly, I've just come off the rowing machine But I keep the exercise going With a little dog walk, might be on my sake

Now my legs are like the legs of a man At the end of horror, woman I'm not sexist about this, at the end of the marathon For this chapter 112 Stone Clearing with Richard Herring And woofie the dog There's a light drizzle We've got some Christmas dinner

Left over this gate-top in the oven More or less as we speak So I will be doing a shortish walk I think, classy A bit paranoid about my phone turning off I was just saying I was a bit paranoid about my phone turning off And it did exactly that I'll keep an eye on it my fan friends Hopefully it'll be okay

We're just coming up to his passage now On to a soggy stotion The green shoots of some mystery crop Peeking through Some chairs being thrown on the compost heap here Not sure that's within the spirit of things A couple of Christmas trees I think it might be, that one looks pretty dead

Might be from last year It's feeling a bit faint earlier Because my wife cut her finger and I'm not good with blood She wanted me to help her Not fair, is it? That wasn't in the marriage vows She's okay, don't worry If you're a fan of Katie Wilkins

You shouldn't be listening to this if you are Because you will know she is just a pretend wife To make me look normal So-called society Just clearing some stones to the out for an omega can I went for omega I said this on the last podcast but it got deleted We lost you again

I don't know if this is the new headphones or what Shame, because there was some fucking gold in there Do I have to hold this in my hand the whole time? I can tell from the watch what it's on I'll put it in my pocket If you missed it, I just, I think Right, we've been losing a lot of stuff today I've turned off Siri

Let's see if it works this time So I was just saying That I found a, if you missed it, if it got cut Which you probably did I just found a stone that looked a bit like a large Pac-Man That was the biggest of the day Wolfie's excited that I picked up a stone There you go, let's chase it

And it made me think maybe, you know My job here is a bit like Pac-Man, isn't it? It's not Jeremy Pac-Man The yellow Pac-Man I'm wearing a sort of yellowish coat I'm picking up little stones In an endless quest chased by ghosts I can't actually, if I eat a bit

Maybe if I eat the right stone, pick up the right stone I can chase them and devour them and get points That might be where the metaphor falls down a bit Wolfie's off, where's she going? What's she seeing? I can't tell you See that, as you picked up my stone and taken that there Have you done that? Let's take a little one

They're taking a mini household office The last household office of the year The crops are just about well, hardly enough to cope with this And I found a nice Wolfie's directing me to a stone And the stone was calling out to me I could hear its voice, but I didn't know where it was And now I've got closer Hello, Richard Meakin, you hear that?

I don't know if it's just in my mind It's off the field now anyway Oh, there's some nice babies out here Another one, this is quite dangerous one Sticking it quite sharply If a dog ran over that, it would hurt its poop So I'm doing a service as well to the dog over my village There's some nice medium smalls off the field there

It's hard to do this with this constant worry that You're going to get turned off, but I will carry on as if I mean, I hope you're not getting turned on If you are, that is inappropriate as I've said many times This is not You do not have my consent to masturbate to this podcast And as sexy as it gets I would ask you to respect that

There's nothing sexy about a man Touching stones Caressing them Loving them I can spill my jizz around here if I wish That's my right At times it's the only way to Release the energy

Required to keep up the clearing stones Seems to still be going, so that's good news I'm going to just assume we're going I hope for the best And a kick Or a nice up and under there It rolled a bit, but got it off And let's take this baby

Nice caramel Sort of collar bone shape It's going on to the Ken in the corner of the field, which isn't even in the corner of the field You know what it's called, this is near to the corner Where the stones are nicely bleached by the rain Their sins washed away And forgiven

I forgive you Those crimes you may have committed stones Maybe you got shot out of a volcano and hit a dinosaur Killed it, I forgive you It's not your fault So heading up The hill is muddy Out here today it's not nice

At least it's not surrounded by jungle Anymore, so it's a relatively easy walk My Post-row legs Hope that bit came out Been rowing on the row machine with Josh Maybe we lost that bit I can't go over myself

That's not the spirit of this, but Josh from Apple Listening Oh it's still going It looked like from my watch it stopped But it seems to be going Let's assume it is I think it's going, I think it's cutting in and out a little bit I don't know

If Josh from Apple Fitness Rowing is listening I listened to a podcast, I'm glad you listened to mine When I say podcast, it's you encouraging me to row Did I get all the big stuff, has that gone? It's hard to know what's in and what's out Can't say everything twice, I don't want to bore you But equally I don't want you to lose Any of the absolute gold that's coming out here

Just because I'm ironic that I'm promoting Apple Fitness When it's all Apple products that are failing me here But we've pressed on that Hopefully the sound quality is good enough for you to make up for The interruptions in wisdom We've missed a lot of wisdom today One way or another But on we chart, Wolfie Harris

Come here Wolfie, come here Wolfie, you've got to learn When I say come here, you've got to sit down and let me put the thing on You've just got to learn it How old are you now? I mean, you're coming up to five Wolfie The time you understood English

The other dog, oh that was a lovely little chip there As I was chestising my dog For being unable to understand English language Just boom, knocked it It wasn't as satisfying as that one But it can be satisfying with the chip With the chip out The care across the main can

A terrible, messy scree still Looks awful I have all the cans that are now my least favourite We're crossing the field We're going to hopefully hit some paider up here So a horse has been through here I don't know if a baby was on it Judging from the depth of the horse whose prints

I'd say it was a human Well, a baby's a human of a kind, I suppose But an adult's human Because they're quite deep But you might be a heavy horse I guess And that's when again We're not here for that information We are here to find about stones

Not about how big a hoof marker Horse might leave I can't see any Moorlock footprints They are very distinguishable When you see them Occasionally are hoofed Of course, which can lead to But I think these are horse hoofs

They're ungulates, aren't they? Moorlocks will be Well, I don't know if this is going to be worth putting out But you know It's a shame to have the The last chapter of Of the year spoiled But the penultimate one also

Big chunk missed out of that What am I to do? What am I to do to die today? Had a minute or two to do Had a minute or two to do Absolutely no one around I mean, the rain may be putting off the Stone stars

They also, Christmas, just gone by They celebrate Christmas, they don't know who Jesus was They celebrate a very different Gifuff They call him Jesus for a start Than the true Gifuff And they are actually Doing the opposite of what he wanted

I mean, I think that's probably true Of a lot of the Christians You see around the world Jacob Rees-Mogg Proclaiming Christ as his Lord When was the last time he cleared the stone? When was the last time he helped Refugees

Fleeing From a Terrible tragedy Well, you know, it would be nice To think His Gifuff turned out to be the real Gifuff Just to see his face When Gifuff tells him to fuck off

In heaven, but if he's my Gifuff Then He definitely will tell Jacob Rees-Mogg Fuck off, not because of any of his Political decisions, just because I don't think he's ever even touched the stone In his life, he probably has servants who do it for him But Gifuff isn't fooled by that

Before he did say unto man That He who doth not clear the stones For himself He shall be Punished And live In the burning

Fire of Hell For all way, for it is written And so it must be shall Vow Got two stones, by the way That's from memory That's From the

From the Gospel According To Thaddeus Thaddeus How you would say it now For no man Shall look At the stone in his fervent

Hand And fee no Stone in his hand His own hand Shall he be Shall he be Curfed And not welcome in my father's health

Not even for two seconds They'll be kicked right out He'll be tries to get in Through the chimney Like the The wolf The nursery rhyme Then he foul-fine

A pot of Very hot soup That is Rested On the fire And he foul-fine His Non-ferdome clearing bottom

Quite badly And have to go to heaven hospital But then we'll be going to hell After we treated the burns We're not Animals We're alright up here For everything

And fervent must be foul I mean I don't need to tell you this I don't want to become across all preachy Just because it's Christmas You believe what you want to believe I'll believe what I want to believe But say remember your foal Will burn in hell

If you don't follow his way I mean your foal Every human being has a foal Like a young horse Ascribed to them but And if you don't clear stones that They'll burn the horse It's a young horse as well

So it's really tragic when it happens So it is written Coming down to the ditch That defeated a micron now I can't see a stone so as you remember Coming up the path behind me But they seem to not made it this far yet So it was safe to pick up a couple more stones

Out of the turgid dirt Into the There's a nice one here as well I didn't have to take another one but there's a nice It's covered in mud, it would almost pass for a piece of mud But It almost passed for Lez Grey from mud I only mentioned it because I know he has emailed in

So We'll be talking about him later Just that was a clumsy attempt To introduce him to the podcast Using a lot of kicking today, my hands are soiled Someone would think I'd had a terrible accident Out here on the field and had to clean up With a bit of grass and a lot of the

Shit had gone on my fingers But that's not what happened and when the bits Don't think that's why there's some gaps in the narrative I've got a nice sharp point For the Alpha and Omega No Delta here either We're very much hunting the

The viruses here So We support the Lez, the Greek Lez of the alphabet That That have not yet been Solid Looking through my emails now It's email time

There's an email in here From Lez Grey Lez Grey My Rich is me Lez Grey The handsome singer From mud I went downhill a bit

In later years But this is the me from The 70s I'm still looking good Chubby and handsome I'll be lonely this Christmas As you know I am dead But that has not stopped me

Coming down from heaven To email you to say And I've chosen to be the 70s one Not the one Near the end When I got to heaven I said Can I be the 70s one So that's why I'm the 70s one

Just to tell you we've got it bang on about The religion and Jacob Rees-Mogg Jesus has already told me He can't wait for Jacob Rees-Mogg To turn up But he's going to First of all he's going to do Which is he's going to pretend

That Jacob Rees-Mogg was right And give him all big celebration And let him in his father's feast and stuff And then he's eating the feast And feeling all smug And then Jesus is going to use his magic To turn all the All the feast into

Maggots and stuff And Jacob Rees-Mogg will have maggots And that is why Jesus I loved you and Jesus Why didn't you do What I said about stone clearing And Jacob Rees-Mogg would go I didn't know about that bit

I read the regular Bible And Jesus will say Well A Even in your Bible You didn't do what I said But I didn't say any of that stuff That wasn't really me But B

The right one was the one about stone clearing So what you would think about that And Jacob Rees-Mogg would go Well I'm sorry How are we going to tell the difference Jesus said you have to have faith Well I did have faith And Jesus said well that's not my fault

You should have faith in the right thing Think about that next time So All best wishes Richard I'll be lonely this Christmas without you In heaven But hopefully see you next year Up in heaven

I don't know the stone clearing And buy my best of album please See you See you then When you get up to heaven Well thank you I've got it in my kids' room in the kitchen So I'm going to have to depart now

But thank you for listening I hope you enjoyed that email from Les Gray Happy new year Keep stone clearing Happy new year Happy new year Live unto the stone My friend

And they've Halfing year Merry dance Don't live unto The bird Fan tree Don't live unto Your underpants

Live unto The stone Live unto The stone And they In turn I'll live unto You

My friend My fine friend Stone clearing with Richard Herring Stab me Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog Not anyone else really around Wasn't it the day there was someone in the distance And also This podcast where he doesn't want me to do

My Omicron material that has been cut twice now By technical folks The music is by Mike Copgrave The voice of the Patones is Mike or Faheen Live unto the stone My friend And they've Halfing year

Merry dance Don't live unto The bird Fan tree Don't live unto Your underpants Live unto The stone

Live unto The stone And they In turn I'll live unto You My friend My fine friend

Thanks for watching