Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 119

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

Chapter 119 - Horfe. It's just after 8am on the 8th April 2022 and luckily Richard knows the facts about the sun so isn't scared that it's behind clouds. He has discovered strange markings in the crops that might indicate a lost stone clearing community and for the first time in ages he's gone all Charley Boorman and is taking the long way round. The Stone Stasi are quiet, perhaps a bit quiet and then BOOM they hit you with the unexpected. Plus lots of tips about border stones.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Here we go Are you excited? Oh, look at you go Good girl, come here Come here What are you so excited about? We're just going for a walk

Come here No, hold on There we go All right Get that stuff away, wolves Good girl, hold on Hold on Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Come on in Hello, my finest friends Welcome to Chapter 119 of Stone Clearing of Richard Herring It's the 8th of April 2022, it's 8.07 a.m.

What a start to the day And We're heading off To this ocean To see what we can find Chill in the air, the sun I can see behind the clouds There's a solid grey covering of clouds Still have to stone clear

Even though it's cloudy Wolfie's finding a way I think that's what the excitement was about Oh, it's a big one It's running like a yellow river Down dockets passage And The smell of

Feces in the air That's the countryside Another dog Upset about the presence of Wolfie Harris That's not Wolfie That one of that dogs in the garden We're safe And

My sham marriage to cover My stone clearing activities Has Just celebrated its 10th anniversary It's a hollow celebration for me Of course knowing That the whole thing is a lie But

For my wife and my kids It seems real to them And I have to carry on with the The pretence That is just one of the The many sacrifices I have to make as a stone clearer I'm married to the stones

And that Is all I care about So we're here at the Station, or half a dead bird Or a small part of a dead bird Just near my stones Which I don't like So

If it's organic No need to panic I mean If you're the actual piece Of organic material And they're being ripped apart That Might seem a hollow

Alphorism It's a For the stone clearer We don't have to worry About stuff like that It's not ours Not ours to reason why Not ours to do

But we can It's ours to do and die Is it what I can't remember how that Cleared the stones onto The Alphorinomager can obviously It goes without saying But I

Feel I have to say this for Other why it's on over Excuse me I don't just In stone clear in chapter 1-9 You didn't put anything on the Alphorinomager can Thus cursing yourself

To a lifetime of pain Do you think I Do you really think Listener Who talks like that That I wouldn't remember that And maybe you should have a look

At yourself in your own Stupid voice Before you start criticizing me So yeah Think on your mother fucker Sorry to be so rude This is a family podcast Although children of course

Are not allowed to play stones There are no rules for stone clearing That's actually the first rule Stone clearing Second rule of stone clearing You must be over 16 years of age And

If you're under 18 You have to have permission From the parental guardian To stone clear Wolf is just doing a poo It's nicely off the field So We're just going to let it

Maybe it's a bit too close To the field I feel too bad Here we go I'm not sure I've even Got my bags with me It may be a barrier situation Yeah I'm going to bury it

Because my I had loads of There must be Where are they This isn't Ah here we go No is it yeah Ah here we go

I knew I had some I've got loads Can you hear them Of course Means I'll be carrying Dog poo around with me For the For the rest of the

Chapter Don't let that Effect your Enjoyment Don't be thinking about Dog poo in my pocket Don't be thinking He's got

Dog poo in his pocket And other ones Got a stone on it That feels really horrible That's why That's why I go For non-organic material Organic material

Dead birds and Dog poo Dead birds and Dog poo Sounds like a Folks on some 1960s That goes in my dog poo pocket

I managed to Get that into the bag Without affecting my hands But your hands still feel dirty Even though they've Not actually touched the The fecal matter And

You say It doesn't fecal matter I say it fucking does Fecal matter It's hard It's fecal matter Or despite something Wow

How the hell did this stone Get here Huge bit of Actually it's a bit of concrete But just sitting Amongst the crops On top of the field You know

It's a mystery sometimes It's clean as your hat I'm presuming your hat Is quite clean It's off now Someone must have come And thrown that on there Or

I don't know It rose through the soil Like Excalibur Through the lake To be plucked By the one true king Who knows I think there's people out here

Trying to make my life more difficult But There we go So Sun still Shouted in cloud If I was a Primeval stone clear

I would worry that the Sun had Been stolen from the sky Leaving only behind a Gaping Yellow hole of light Has an educated Stone clear

The 21st century I know Of course the stone The sun is made of A huge Stone that cannot fall out of the sky A fiery stone And Ultimately

All stones will return To their mother stones All the stones on Earth As is my understanding Came originally from The sun which was once Four times the size A little bit of it

Exploded And the stones came flying down Onto the time at Earth And for a once They must be gathered up For the time That they shall return To

The fun Um Someone not been so fastidious And couldn't the dog poo as me there Just they thought Oh that's on the edge of the field No one's going to Accident walk on the edge

Of the field Luckily I missed it but They haven't got dog poo In their pocket And the other one's Making a piece And I've done that before I mean I don't

Want to repeat myself That's There are no rules Of stone clearing Podcasting That's the first one Of stone clearing Podcasting

Do not In any At any time Repeat yourself And there's an interesting Phenomenon down here In the corner of the field But I've not noticed before

Where The Crop is growing In different colours I'll take a photo of it I wonder if this is Evidence of some Structure that once

Was built on this time I know there used to be I'm not sure it was down In this corner But I've looked at old maps And there's a windmill But could this be Some kind of

Roman baths Or something with Very thick walls Of small anti-chambers If it is That could be the Stuff underneath The

Roman baths I haven't found Evidence of Roman baths Here in In the Material I've been taking off the field But

Is it just that Some soil is different Or is it that That shows Some previous structure You know it's interesting To get an old Tony Robinson Down here

Getting to dig up a bit And that would be a good way To get rid of a few other stones As well I guess They could sieve the Soil for Artifacts But really I'd be

Just sneaking off the stone Any Archaeologists Which I'm sure there are many of you Listening Ace Get on with clearing stones Stop trying to just

Find specific things Under the Ground But B Is that a Roman villa or something there I've still a good picture of it So let me know

We can get a time Team Down here Old Tony Robinson Down here Baldrick If he comes down How come they say Hi Tony

How you doing They only say yeah And I'll say how Just try and work around They'll be trying to work This in nature as naturally as possible You know I

Do you Do you just Dig with an elite Tony Or do you have a cunning plan To have a cunning plan And turning it out We have a We have a plan

It's not that coming I don't know but I'm referencing Yeah If I don't What you're talking about If I was Tony Robinson That's what I would I'd just pretend

I'd just pretend I didn't understand That's what I do When people say I've got a mirror stick Which happens a lot I'm walking down The road

Mirror stick What do you mean It's the movies It's not in the stick Pretend I just pretend I don't get the reference I'm sure Tony Robinson

Does that Have a cunning plan It'd be funny I wanted to say that To actually turn it I shouldn't think It's happened much to him before Do you have a cunning plan

Tony I met Tony Robinson I don't think I even said that to him What a stupid of me I very should have met him A couple of times I've never said Do you have a cunning plan

Mental note This isn't really about Stonecloning this bit This is for my What do you do when you meet What should you say When you meet Tony Robinson Podcast

And so What kind of plan Right, I'm going to take a risk I've got a personal training session At 9 o'clock It's now 20 past 8 I'm actually going to For the first time in a while

I'm going to go At least Recorded on the podcast I'm going to go The long way around Hit the diagonal I did this Yesterday or the day before

On the dog walk I don't always record My stone clear Is because I'm not mental I just record The ones I need to record But I'm out here every day

I think people will get Quickly bored If every single stone I cleared was documented I think once a week Or every day during the pandemic You know, one of my many regrets In life is that

We didn't put those Lockdown shows out as a podcast Because of course They're lost forever now And so much good material So many pieces of wisdom I mean, you know I'm telling you

Well, there's no point In regretting that bit It's gone Probably someone recorded them somewhere For masturbatory purposes So But we're back to Stone clear in its heart

Once a week or Sometimes once a month Sometimes forget for a few months Can't be asked And audio only Plus occasional Interjections from What do you say if you make

10 year old on some podcasts Which I should bring that out As a podcast on its own There's a lot of Slightly lighter Glass up here Plot crops up here Either it doesn't mean anything

Or there was a huge Roman city built on this field It's been lost from the records The last thing I need is Tourists coming here So look at that So I'm going to keep it secret Coming up to the singing ring entry

That's one of the offshoots Of course of the Lockdown podcast Should it be in this proper Chapter? I don't know It was very much a Plot crowd please

Anything for the millions of people That tuned in every day So I went for my MBE Like Joe Wicks But You know Take your time Your Majesty Cogitate a little bit

Just check And this is where the bits Of brick are By the This is where I imagined The windmill was But No real

Changing the grass There's a little Line up there But that kind of Not going to be a wall Of some kind Singing ring entry Let's see if today's the day

One Gets one Two All that unbroken part That's interesting Come out From your home You needly knees

I'm using my boot To kick up a couple of stones here That Just fancy getting out No, Stone Starzy And today I thought I hadn't really been keeping my out I saw one guy actually

I forgot to mention him Because I was talking about Tony Robinson Across the city Or somewhere away Sorry for that I think the Stone Starzy Have

Lost interest of it You can blame them Certainly also true Of the listenership I haven't checked They're listening Biggers of this They're still up

In the high millions There will never be Adverts on this podcast I can make that promise Here and now Never Not while I am Living and breathing

Maybe my descendants Will put adverts on it Maybe some of them Will take over my body Pretend to be me And then put adverts On it I will never do it

And it's not Because advertisers Don't want to advertise on it Because no one listening to it Because I have I have too much integrity Anyway, coming up To the top of the field

There's lots of There's a scurry of stones Just by the path It's sort of In that area That I know a lot of Stones here Get a lot of messages

About this Richard What do I do This one I've just Look, I just scrolled I'm on my phone right now It's Bramble Stone

Bramble stones There's a lot of stones That when I walk down The path to the left of me They're officially Not on the field But they feel like They're on the field

A little bit And should I put them Further off the field Should I leave them Where they are Should I concentrate On the ones that are On the field

And then If there's time later Get the ones off The edge of the field Do the ones On the left Do it straight away That's my advice

Because You know They'll just roll back on And you'll be annoyed If you've nearly cleared The field to come back And then all these Stones have rolled

Down and ruined You won't almost Complete work Get them off now Before they roll Why it's so Except look This one just kick

Bangs off Did you see that Why did you hear it There's hundreds here I mean there's more On that Outside than on the Inside

You might say What can't they roll down From where you've thrown them No But they wouldn't do that Because they know They're off the field So what would

Be the point Every stone's ambition Apart from ones Don't want to be taken Off the field To be off the field Once they're off They'll stay off

If they're on the edge It's like If you're on the edge Of a swimming pool Got your feet dangled In the water What'd you do Did you get out

Or did you jump in You know Difficult to decide But if you're right Off the way If you're in the changing room Away from the swimming pool What'd you do

Did you jump in the pool Or did you put your clothes on Put your clothes on Hey You don't jump in the swimming pool Because there's a wall in the way And also you've already I mean you might

If you're in the changing On the way in Sure But they're not It's not They've been in the pool They've got out the pool Got in the changing room

They're all Dried Mud is off them In the coasters Would you then Go and jump in the pool With your clothes on Or dry

No You've been in the pool Time to get out Three more weird shapes On for these ones Looks like someone's been Ironing the fields And left the iron

Face down I've forgotten about it And it's burnt a little hole In the There's just three triangles Four actually Maybe a little one Maybe an alien space craft

Once landed that I don't know what that is I can't explain that But it's very much a geometrical figure Which would imply something Wouldn't it? That's not going to happen By nature

Four triangles in a row Maybe some clue to Pilots maybe It's pointing out Luton Airport Oh five Actually there's one here as well Very weird

Very weird Kick one off Kick one off Oh! Wow this is very exciting I kicked it Didn't go very far Kicked it right

And it went right up in the air Rather than inside Oh Stone Starsy Alert Two Stone Starsy With two Three dogs Three dogs

Coming right at me From the other next field Won't be able to clear anything here From the second corner Unless it's Very quickly I'll try and do one very quickly Just when we've got something

Good They're looking at their dogs Taking the opportunity One big stone Medium stone And that's all I can do I'm heading up the diagonal To the can

In the centre of the field I did a stone pole on my own yesterday Did really well I think under the I did six stones And I think I got four Hit four times Without the pressure of the audience

It was easy And that's the Well the Stone Stone Starsy have stopped I'm going to throw another one Oh It was a bit too far to throw It's bounced into the

The crops just by the Side of the field But in a point part That I'm very ready to go around I don't know if in the early days I took you around the whole field It's a long way I certainly haven't got time for that today

That's one of the triangles What's that? When you're closer up there A bit more A bit more Quadrilateral One of the triangles Those

That's got to be something What's going on? Come on Why have I never noticed it before? This could be some kind of iron age dwelling Maybe if people lived on the field In those days In order to

That they could just clear the stones And get up in the morning Clear the stones Didn't have to even walk up the road Can't duck its passage If only I could travel back in time See what who was here Back in those days

Dog poo Literally on the pavement On the path there I mean fucking hell What kind of monsters are you? Don't forget I've got some dog poo in my pocket Because

You know that will smell the Stink the whole House up And another stone starsy On the periphery of the next field Heading Very much missed time there But they may be diversionary

Stone starsy to make me Be looking over there And suddenly bang in front of me There's a stone that's like a Kind of chicken leg Same colour There's a cooked chicken leg It's pretty much the same shape

Maybe a bit hungry But what good can a Chicken leg do you have Than provide you with sustenance For a short time The chicken leg stone Is forever Chicken leg stones are

Forever They can Always look like a chicken leg Which a real chicken leg won't Because it will shit There's people right behind me They might hear me singing that song And then think I'm weird

It's a good song What I'm saying is Better to have a chicken leg stone Than a chicken leg Because a chicken leg Will Even if you don't eat it It will rot

But if you eat it It's gone Whereas this chicken leg stone Is forever in a second Till I want to throw it into this Central Can In which case

Will probably break Will see Of course Wolfie's very excited about The chicken leg stone She thinks it's a chicken leg She doesn't know that she How can a dog

Tell the difference Between a real chicken leg And a stone that looks like a chicken Oh, fucking hell There's a There's a fucking horse This is They've got a serious

They've made They've lulled me into False sense of security There's a horse Bareback horse Being led by Two stone stars E3

Oh, and they're coming up This way I'm going to have to take The long diagonal They're very This is it They've got to be Cut cornered

And yes Of course Very good work From the stone stars E They think no one was here The woman with the Old woman in blue

With a dog I think A woman With a tiny pond This is what the fuck Is going on This I've never seen anything like this

Even when I had a baby On the horse It wasn't as crazy As this And the people behind me Are catching up There's a woman What I thought was a dog

But it's a tiny pony Far behind that A giant black beauty Horse Well, the old lady Has disappeared A woman is Literally walking her

Horses Around The field I've been forced in this Direction And unless They make a mistake And go down that pathway

I am Absolutely trapped here An old man With a big Sort of husky dog Wolfie's excited Actually part husky Is

This is going to Make me late If I'm not careful I'll still at half an hour Okay They're speeding up I can't do any stone climbing So my stones here

Don't come down this The full diagonal Very often And And the horses Are just stopped And they're stopped Right by the stone pole

Well Actually by the Dominic Cummings Maybe they've Given their respect By the Dominic Cummings But I will not be able to

Do the stone pole Unless they move And they do not Look like they're moving I may be trapped here This may be My last broadcast Just want to see

If I can pick up at least One stone To put on As much Neglected can here At the entrance Of the field here Still

Lost I don't know If you remember Early on I think it was broadcast I was carrying I mean Medium-large stones

I would say From memory And Had to put them down Because an ambulance Came the other way We all remember that Instant rate

I never found them again So When I come down this way I'm always on the lookout For those beautiful stones Not the lost stones Of Amborden

That's what I call them And I'll just give a distance Hopefully The people come They will not think To turn right here The natural movement

It's also towards the horses Which are stock still I just had This is still being recorded Looks like it Right, one stone on Dog This is really

Frightening stuff Well At least I did do A stone pole Yesterday Oh, it's Karla Hi Oh, she's alright

She's not She's in the stone star I'm in trouble Ah Those Three dogs Go on, don't you watch Wuffy at

Einstein So the horses A horse And a pony What? And that person Just Stock still in the path

I mean, what's A normal person Want to do It's confusing for a stone Clearer The Tony's on a lead I mean, this is insane

I can't take a photo of it Because You know I'll draw attention to myself But Gigantic horse Like massive Okay, I'll go around

I've told you, be careful And, you know, be ashamed With something happening to you Walking into the cross It's a good chance to scout out Stones, of course Oh, no Is that a stone?

No, it's big wood Gigantic horse Look at that, horsey wolves Oh Horsey The horse is coming for us We're all right Phew

That could have been an exciting stone Always something exciting happens, doesn't it? Come on, Wuffy Always something exciting But no stone pole today Four out of six is all I can tell you Luckily, I played Unrecorded, you might say, oh, yeah, sure

You got four out of six Which when no one was listening You know, in a way I could just pretend to hit the pole If I hadn't, you know You have to trust me Well, what? Exciting as a bumblebee now

What the hell? Shitting Ada I think I couldn't really hear Because I was talking to you and I got my headphones on But I think that horse has got out From somewhere So that lady is

Trying to keep us safe I don't know why she has a tiny pony on her lead I thought I heard the sound of Rapid hoofbeats coming towards me there Oh, wow Not every day you'd course Things about attacking you On a stone clear

But that's the tactics that are being employed By the stone stars, they're worse Than following a Putin in many ways I don't think that's hyperbole Oh, there's another poo right there And they kicked the stone into it But I've missed it, luckily That's nice to clear one stone there

The horse is out of sight now And when I say outside I don't mean they're great They're not They're organic They create a lot of poo It's the bane of my life Theses

Both my own My children's My dogs And the theses are Not even my dogs Alright, here's the main can Looking not as, you know It's looking slightly sad for itself

But stretching around the corner And we're heading down Now, finally Hopefully to save the safety of home Never be complacent You make a A license out of a car But I think we're safe now

A little bit Looks a bit like a Stone age arrowhead That's off It's off the field And down Down Down

It's been a thrilling ride For you today You've seen a lot more Of the field than usual I'm nicely warmed up for For my personal training session Gotta keep strong If I'm unable to lift stones

I can't do my job I do once a week Go to Lift weights You might say There's your lift weights every day You've got two Tiny stones there

That's not And you're pulling You're making them You've got a mini fist And you're pumping them Like that You're pumping iron Yeah

That's how I stay strong And talking of the horse poo Here's a massive load of horse poo I'm not gonna I don't want to cast a spurs And I don't want to Come jump to conclusions Don't assume

If you make a Yume Out of an Ass's Ass But I think that Poo came out of that horse And Wolfie's sniffing it

It looks fresh Is that too much There's a big horse On the field Yeah, it's never usually a horse on the field In case someone's riding On a baby or something But hardly ever

And there's suddenly some big Is that Assuming If that's assuming You know It's a hard day of conspiracy there I'm not mental I'm not Matthew the Tissier

I am Rich Terring saying I think that big pile Of horse poo came from That big massive horse Not from the little one It's almost as big As the little horse

Right We're coming back to the Alphanom You can't look at me I mean Have you remembered to put on That stone Yes

Why do you keep Going on about it, mate You know You only make yourself look bad There's a cat over there Black cat Is that good luck or bad luck It's have been a strange day

It feels like a dream out here today Let's get off the train Let's get off the train Before it's too late So Coming down Duck its passage What I traditionally look at

We've looked at one email today Of course Remember from Bramble Stone Sometimes You know you might go There's a lot of people who have Stone emailing Of course they are

Googling themselves And looking for podcasts About themselves And then they find this And then they get into it Obviously Chimney pot Dustbin has been in touch

Now That in I presume They are from Central African Republic But chimney pot is It looks like Our English chimney

Copets Don't be I'm not going to attempt To pronounce it correctly Because I'll be embarrassed Myself But that's not how you pronounce it Chimney pot

Dustbin Has been in touch Just trying to find there There's a lot of just Before I'm getting to the question There's just a lot of you This is the great podcast That I've ever heard

I live in the Central African Republic That you probably get From my name And we have a lot of stones here As well I like Clearing them too You know Let's look at the things

That the United Rather than divide us In this world I know there's a lot of People that hate People that hate People that hate People that hate

People that hate I know there's a lot of People that hate The Central African Republic Not many mates Good answer on pointless And that's all I care about But let's

Let's look at what United has been Desired to Clear stones And that's it There's actually no question Just Just trying to bring

He or she Sorry, I'm not sure They That's what you have to say These days And it makes a political That's gone mad Yeah

And you used to say that In the past As well as you didn't know So that's not That much It's not that bad We just wanted to Extend the hand of friendship

Across the continents And remember What are the continents Made out of Stone What are we Made out of Organic material

That's not as good But just because They're From a different place Doesn't mean We're not the same Inside And out there

They're not the same Because that would be crazy If it was just literally Somebody looking down like me And was me That would be weird Right, ah, dog poop I forgot to put that

In the regular bin Because I forgot to go to the dog poop bin But at least I remember Don't worry If you're listening at home You don't need to email me I'll put it in There's an open bin

Line of eds Put that in there It should It should be fine ball, shouldn't we? Right, well, that's it I hope you enjoyed it We're back into the house Don't put away

It's been an eventful one That's what I like But we got through it I'll have to get strong now And ah I'll find that stronger Thanks for listening Enjoy your stone clearing

You can take care of Wherever you're from Apart from Brand bambling New Zealand Anyone from New Zealand Can fuck off Stop listening Get your own poop guys

Bye bye Liffon to the stone Liffon to the stone And they in turn Are Liffon to ye My friend My pines friend Stone clearing

Stard me, Richard Herring I'm wolf with the dog Plus that massive horse And the little tiny pony Person with them All those other pit stone stars The people Carla, the dog Walker And everyone who knows me

The music is my Mike Coffgrave The voice of the Photones is my Corphahin There was a black cat as well Liffon to the stones My friend And they foul thing Ye a merry dance Don't Liffon to the birds

And trees Don't Liffon to your underhand Liffon to the stone Liffon to the stone And they in turn Foul Liffon to ye My friend My pines friend

My pines friend