Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 121

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

Chapter 121 - Fometimef ye ftonef are Filent. It's about 5.15pm on 7th June 2022 and it's been a month since the last podcasted stone clear, so we have to feel our way back together. Stripped back to basics, fighting some of the most difficult conditions known to stone clearers and seeing the sprouting of this year's poppies and thistles that come from where stone friends and enemies fell. It's certainly not insane, what's going on here. That's all that I know.

Stone clearing with Richard Herring get shocked every time I come out of my gate because there's a grenadier guard standing on the garden opposite but it's no real one but every time it gets me hello my finest friends and flak hack welcome to stone clearing with Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog chapter 121 that really how many we've done can't be that many I must have got that wrong it's an ongoing podcast in which I teach you how to stone clear we're on an intermediate level and a moment so please go back and listen from the start of this your first one just heading up

Tuckett's passage now I've kind of forgotten how to do this sorry it's been a little while since we've done one of these I've still been stone clearing I just started up a new podcast called Richard Herring sorry we're hella book club and I tend to listen to books when I'm right walking the dog now and clearing stones so I've got to make a special effort and have to say stone clearing at this particular juncture is pretty tricky due to the height of the crops where we're back at that stage the crops are I think if I let Wolfie run into the crops she may more or less disappear you'll remember this from the

previous years we've been previous students we've been doing this just checking everything's still working looks like it is we'll be going down and poppies are popping up again another thing that regular listeners which you must all be will remember I've put a stone on the upper number can't don't worry we're on the field the ground is actually nicely not too hard for the summer I've just used my I'm wearing daps today some of you call them plimpsoles I call these ones running shoes actually and just managed to kick a stone out of the ground with my foot it's always impressive

Wolfie's observing the flowers here looks rather beautiful amongst the flowers now can I get a picture of her she's probably about to do a shit to be honest well she's moved away from the flowers let's see if I can sort again that might be a nice photo Wolfie come here come here Wolfie come here not there let's take her in for our looking in the sea we've got a nice photo one way the other things hopefully just gonna do a shit in the field and then we don't have to worry about that anymore that's the way I look at it so yeah so it is a tough time to

be a stone clear as I'm matching to get some stones out the part I can't believe there are any stones left in this part but they do grow they grow their way up and it's cleared my third stone of the day there she is I can just see her popping above the grass that she hopefully empties her bowel into your wheat into your shredded wheat when you next have some shredded wheat hopefully there's a little bit of Wolfie feces in there to accompany you it's a tough time because the crop as you'll see in the photo if we use that one is high hard to see so just found a stone just loose on the edge there don't know how it got

there just a small I mean I can't call it small small a small medium small medium small and it's nice to see that grand dear guard out the queen of course 70 years on the throne that's I'm that's an impressive poo that joke there for you I just didn't know it's time for jokes there's still time for jokes and you know in the great eons of stone time 70 years is not much but even I will acknowledge in human terms one has to admire a woman shaking hands with people for that long and you know she's not a bad old bird clearing a stone into the thick nettles and framblescree, assuringly of the

clack of that stone hitting solid stone which suggests that there's a layer underneath that foliage we can't see anything really in terms of in terms of the cans even they're nearly all hidden away try to kick that stone that didn't work so you know wearing daps plimpsoles running shoes whatever you want to call them trainers some people call them not the best footwear for the kick sort of metal lined boots we're a pick on the empty and I sometimes you get one a boot with the sort of spike on the end that would be good or take a trowel out with you that is allowable and there's a little poppy

hearing its head reminding us of the sacrifice of stone clearers past of course each one signifies if you've forgotten the place movie coming coming stone clear a bell I've seen a member that's done does he but pretty pretty poor behavior they have got a dog it's hard to see dogs over the crops of course the young lady beatnik man from 1970s pop group picked her dog up smiling at me it's a bit like a dog actually I look like you will come in whoopee come here

come on let's go around we'll go a little bit out here if you like no well I didn't see her I nearly didn't see you it's so high come on say hello weeds in the fit whoopee come here good girl on we go good girl and oh more hello another dog a lot of stone-starzy member coming through an entrance not many people come through that corner field there you'll know it's quite a rarity I think just missed time to attempt to get me waves at me kick up under this so most of the stones are too hidden beneath the crops now to

be discoverable even though I took a probably heard me just checking still going they'll actually paused it to check when I was checking we're still going but we're still going apparently about losing my friends there's not much you can do you've just got to walk your way around find the slim pickings you can and dream of stone Christmas to come of course we've had stony after I thought yeah I can't remember and you know maybe bring a little trowel or as I say a boot with a spike on the end so nice let's sort of a trowel like spike on then also a boot with a spike

on the end is a good way of deterring the stone-starzy I don't like it no you know they're all very bold and brave until they get kicked by a boot with a spike in it and then they'll scurry off to their mum and some dad dead long dead of course don't get many young stone starsy that's the thing it's not like being in an artsy party where the youngsters are really grabbing the mantle stone starsies in a way I feel for them that the same as us stone clearers there's fewer of us there's fewer of them but there are more stone stars in the stone

clearers of course you'll work that out there's been two on this field and just one me it's the other pathway is not very wide and crops really encroaching and as I say here we are can across from the main can you'll be familiar with it and it's basically in the path now so it's in a very poor state again this is why I can't say too many times this is why you must clear your stones as far off the field well still on the field that's possible you'll just have to do it twice if you clear them to the edge and then the path changes kick back on the Sun's beating down on me quite strongly I'm coming out from behind cloud

cover gone back to the clouds and now okay just a bit too warm for a second oh and I saw a nice one again really on the path on the edge of the park but that's now definitely off and they've been clearing the past by me or another stone clearer but now it's definitely off was a good size that was the biggest of the day medium medium about the size of a man with a small hands fist that's what we're looking at there a little clearing in the crop here just looking around because it is very hard

to see who's coming now and I found a stone and that's going right into the Holly to remember the Holly bush there through and high into the Holly exploring down where it lands nobody knows might be stuck in the Holly tree coming up to the singing ringing tree we're going the long way around it's not the full long way around and there are some nice stones here and I've just found a secret path through the crops do be careful not to stand on the crops you can get out there's a bit of the Roman villa there as well get that off you can hear the crunching of the crops that's just my legs brushing against

them and singing ringing tree is it the day haven't been here for a little while actually I hope I didn't miss it it's not today so I was going to bring Emily Dean around here she does a podcast about walking dogs but I don't think we can really walk to a breast anymore in this field so I may take a different route I'll show her the field it's only a secret known to very few people you can trust Emily Dean she was in the Trifids TV series that's why you can trust her I'd get on the side of the humans if she'd been on the side of the Trifids that would be bad because they're in the hierarchy of the beings stone first

flesh next vegetation worst of course so as long as you're I mean in a way war of the world I suppose even more of the world's rather than the Trifids which might have been I think it was a trippy then you know metal is better than human not as good as stone playing a few stones from the path that we go of course don't worry about that and there's danger you get bored not you at home listening to this how good that happened you've listened to 120 episodes you listened to 121st 122nd if you count the time special if you were going to get bored you'd have got bored by now this is not boring but it's easy to get bored

clearing stones when there's so few stones but there's you know just clear your path just look at this wolfie just even I walk this path a thousand times clearing stones as I go still more stones here than I think they were to begin with doesn't make sense no one said it would make sense when I started this a lot of people said it didn't make sense you said it was crazy but it's not crazy if it's crazy to attempt to clear a billion stones off a very stony field and build a wall that's visible from space yeah I'm crazy that's crazy I'm the craziest man on earth because that's what I'm doing but you and I know I'm

the sanest man on earth some people might say I saw Richard walk around the field talking to himself he's crazy you seem to be scrabbling around the dirt well sometimes appearances can be deceptive my finest friends you were in on the secret they laughed at Jesus didn't they they said he was crazy they nailed him up on a wooden cross and they wouldn't let him go let's uh who's had the last laugh mean arguably the people who crucified Jesus but if he came back to life and then now if you could look back now if he was alive he'd look back and go well hey you're all clearing stones like I said

too before it is written and be you know I'm the king of the world pretty much the king of the world take out Mohammed we're doing that lot just me so laugh all you want Pharisees where are you who remembers the Pharisees well you do but only cuz I think you're a dicks that the stone starsy no one will remember them not as individuals just as a lot of dicks who got in my way when I was doing my work as I am worshiped and not as a god better than a god sure sure am I crazy sure sure thing and coming up to the top corner now you'll have worked that out from the pace that we're going follow your map I hope you've all drawn

the map should have a pretty good idea of the dimensions of the field now what's where the really committed will of course be hearing every stone work out where it's not where it's fallen how big it was drawer and accurate representation on your map you know it's all helpful you know that's that's why I'm doing this to help you guys you're new to this you're not gonna be as good at me as doing this so don't even think about that don't watch out for poo always watch out for poo one of the main problems of sanctuary not getting touching poo even your own don't touch your own I mean touch it with your aim

this is it comes out wipe your bombs a touch but hopefully with paper don't touch it is what I'm saying just touch stone some shit looks like stones some stones look like shit that's why this is such a delicate art right we're at the corner just in time to see the bus drive by it's alright because we're saved by the stones a little bit levity we're having a laugh on me today with the second first a joke then a little reference to save by the bells and save by the balls got kicked in the bollock by my son during the platinum jubilee celebrations really whacked me with his boot accidentally if anything's

accidental like eat a person it there are no accidents he just shat his pants as well so you know you know with the window windows oh nice clear there from a distance and we're heading across to the Canon Center of the field now I mean just really re familiarizing ourselves with the terrain it's been a while for you for me out here every day nine to five sometimes nine to six sometimes overnight nine to six overnight then nine to five in the day a lot of stones getting cleared you're not hearing about they should still be on your map but you should be able to intuit for the sound of my feet where stones have gone from

where they've gone if your maps really accurate or show the original location probably in red and the final location in green exact size and shape one to one scale the map should be really ideally it's just gonna start getting messy looking forward to doing the stone pulp hope you are looking forward to seeing if this podcast has come out okay it's a touch on don't worry it's gonna check again still going still going but is it just recording from a pocket or is it recording for real that kind of jeopardy that keeps this this podcast riding high in the top ten of the stone clearing podcasts worldwide

that is mind you number nine at the moment Brian Bramble places one to four with his I think there's too many podcasts about stone clearing you know I think you have to do it too much that's why sometimes it's not every week sometimes it is sometimes it's once a month sometimes you know months may pass because human time is nothing to these stones this stone I hold in my hand taken to the center can is sat in this field for eons waiting for its this moment to be moved to a place that's still on the field in this case but technically counts as off the field I think I reckon I hope the stone agrees

with me none of the stones are talking every day I don't know if they're upset with me sometimes the stones are silent that's the title of this week's episode in it sometimes the stones are silent I'll forget from time the tone are silent no stone stars in the distance so they've missed time everything maybe it's the same guy from before now in the far corner corner I rarely go to we've been there a couple of times and there's some kids playing football in the wreck they're no danger to me unless they've got some kind of telescope device oh and it's a Bishop move but I don't think it's coming diagonally but I

don't think he's anticipated that I'm gonna turn right at the stone the Kern in the center of the field do my own Bishop move another couple of poppies here the early they bloom the older the longer ago the stone clearer fell and soon these ones probably from millennia ago probably monkey men they signify soon they'll grow more and more this in the modern era for more people stone cleared but not so much now but nearly from the medieval times onwards it was a big thing yep miss Tony made any bad luck you can send your dog bounding into the crops all you like you fucked up bad the Sun playing across the field

opposite the real field one next to the real field I've said too much the other side is the sewer plant it's a beautiful area but the Sun just moving its way across that field not shining on us when why does the Sun just Sun is ignoring me the stones are ignoring me I don't know what I've done but I will just carry on with my work picking up a stone there almost in full view it's a nice size one for the stone pole looking behind me just sometimes someone can creep up on you this is almost perfect square stone so very unusual usually some human craft is going to it might be a mode from a mosaic

Roman times off the field now they don't worry two good size stones but I need three more I'm like Jesus not I'm not saying I'm Jesus I'm just like him in tears I'm looking for in my case five disciples I am a fisher of stones and also my name is a fish that's another clue to my divinity I'm trying to kick up a stone there didn't kick up the one I wanted I've left it for another time it's not ready do you need consent in the old days you could just pull up any stone you wanted consent is very important the 21st century should really talk when I'm taking the phone out my pocket just in case those

the only bit you can hear oh good girl if you haven't you've got two stones yes and they're gonna throw them on the stone that's right yeah so my friend I do you know the stones aren't the sun and the stones of let me down what was the thing I have to put the title of that was a good title might even have to listen back to that to get the title how we're first oh sorry sometimes I say the things I'm thinking about sometimes the things that oh I've got four and I've got five one of them's little the others are all small but not as small and that guy still hasn't moved very far into his

bishop oh just drop that one again like try to escape you'll never escape come with me with your content some thistles in amongst crops of course thistles those are stone stars you've died that's where they're prickly and tricks right here we go one have one that was a brilliant start oh just missed that was the wrong pole one out of two two out of three three out of four this is amazing I've got two cocky I hit a pole every time but two of them with a with a pole behind the pole but that's three out of five it's a lucky day we can all enjoy that I was slight puff because I hear a dog barking I thought it's coming up

the path to get me but I think it might just be a dog in a garden I think we're all agree this has been a pretty good stone clear and maybe not in content but more poppies here sad to see them so close to the edge stone clearers who died so far away from their ultimate game goal it's just good to be back isn't it for sometimes it doesn't really matter how good the content is how wise the words are fact there's been no rules there's been no songs there's a butterfly they're fortunately set to me and I didn't step but sometimes you just need a solid oh excuse me for bluffing there's need a

solid stone clear to get you to sleep remind you to get out there Boris Johnson still prime minister despite the ditch that stopped Boris Johnson the Ukraine war still going on despite the ditch that stopped the Ukraine war Brexit arguably still going on is it and it is been done has it been done or have we been done but a social satire in sometimes that's all right won't mean much to the people listening a thousand years time that's why I tend to avoid that sort of stuff thinking the future audience hanging on my every word and like some of you fuckers listening now so I'm talking to people now they're

people of the future but this is podcasts in the thousand two thousand years time will be played over public address systems that might be a futuristic one by then in all town centres if there are towns then just endlessly looping and people fucking love it and they won't fall asleep well they'll be properly woke unlike you guys right two little stones onto the main can this would be nice it's been a bit of a someone's done a bit of mowing down here so this this pass a bit more open heading down to the Ditch Stop Brexit our Neural Insect flying suddenly I can see the real field ahead of me I should not stop saying

that take it away if you are a monthly badger you may know what I'm talking about there's two whole secret stone clears waiting there for you but there are some changes coming to the monthly bad scheme pretty soon and stone clearing will get the recognition it deserves in those changes you can join go fast that's right comm slash badges but maybe right till the end of the month of June find out exactly what's going on stone clearing will always be free it'll always be ad-free unless I get a really good offer and if I do get really good offer I hope it cuts to an ad about there so far there's not been any offers to

for ads in stone clearing though it is my second most successful podcast make that what you will some way from being as successful as well as to put some doggy but you know I don't measure success of podcasting downloads I measure it in hearts reached minds changed livers slightly cleansed of alcohol sleep bought sleeps are very important thing I haven't been sleeping well my son's been ill to really be at home looking after him but you know Ditch Stop Brexit they forgot about you my fine friend that could have been bad if I'd forgotten imagine the trouble the world would have been in oh Richard forgotten about the

ditch to stop Brexit and you claim one got Boris Johnson fire there it is just one stone today coming up to the after an omicke can coming up to time we look through your emails a whole month's worth of emails to work through not looking forward to this there's just endless stream anyway your day by day wonder what they are subjects will come up today I can't think I've read them yet just reaching over cooking up some little bits of shingle ready for the alphanom we can why not the end they need to come off smaller stones we've played for a while and then there's a small medium to go with them just to give the

afternoon good God's what they did there can't even see the alphanom we can it's so hidden by metals and weeds but lift them to the photographer and for they falfing you a merry dance what's the title of this so I would now find out later probably it's not something else so don't look at your emails it's good email with the title of this so that would be helpful then I'm gonna have to listen back to it hi Richard this is the email so it starts hi Richard but I haven't told you it's from this is this is from just looking for the names usually just written at the top yeah I can see it now

it's dog bark nettle dog but I think that's one of John Nettles children and the whole family listen to this and you know he was a bit of a hippie and still is I believe to have nails and so they just younger some dog bark dog bark nettles let's see what dog bark has got to say hi Richard it's me dog but Nettles I'm John Nettles son younger son as you may probably know I know you know the family well I did just give that so just proves how genuine this email is no it is a dog what going on at the moment it's a coincidence Richard you said that the ditch to stop Brexit will stop Brexit and the war in Ukraine and

Boris Johnson and yet all those things are still going on have seemed to go on forever it did get Dominic Cummings fired there in it so you know don't don't be so hasty when will these things come to pass that you have predicted I'd not meaning to be facetious or doubtful in any way about your powers but it does seem fucking weird and you know I'd get my dad on it but it's quite old now and also he says he doesn't want to investigate this do you think it's a waste of time well I'm home now dog bark so I might not be able to give you two more information but to let you as he is

understand and listen that time will come when all the things I have said shall come to pass and that is all I will say to you you have a little faith has Brexit been not stopped you decide right I'm gonna go now thanks for listening everyone we'll see you on the other side back soon hopefully with next product Lifon to death stone my friend and they will settling year merry dance don't lift fly to the bird fan tree don't live

. Liffon to the stone, Liffon to the stone And they in turn are Liffon to ye, My friend, my pined friend. Photon clearing with Richard Herringstad, me Richard Herring and Wolfied the dog. Plus a couple of stone-starzy people, is that lady with the little dog she held, wasn't it? And there was thanks to John Nettles and his son, Dogbuck Nettles, less so, a bit of a prick, I think. The music is by Mike Coffgrave, the voice of the Photon says Michael Faheen. Liffon to the stone, my friend, And they foul thing ye a merry does.

Don't Liffon to the birth and truth, Don't Liffon to your underhand. Liffon to the stone, Liffon to the stone And they in turn foul Liffon to ye, My friend, my pined friend.