Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 122

Episode Date: July 21, 2022

Chapter 122 - Daify Duke. It's the evening time of 20th July 2022 and after a hiatus the stone clearing podcast is back to tell you how to clear stones when the earth's vagina is baked hard and the crops are thick. In the heat of the summer this is an exceptional sexual chapter and must not be listened to children or adults who don't like to listen to a man talking about being sucked off by stones. Plus the terrible fate of the stones that miss the stone poll. And Rich is nearly caught in the act by his wife. It was worth the wait. Sorry to the thousands of you who have emailed in asking where the podcast had gone.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Well I never did my found friends what can I tell you hello flag hags it's been a little while we'll be very excited because here it is at last after six seven weeks chapter one two two I think the tone clearing with Richard Herring we'll see the dog it is the 20th of July 2022 it's 1946 that's the time I've just told you it can't be both the time and the year that would be crazy can't be both 1946 and 2022 come on think sensibly now we're heading to the station it's been a tough few months for stone clearers I'm sure you're aware if

you've been clearing your own field unless it's been laid left fallow that's the dream I don't know if that happens anymore hasn't happened in my field that's for sure the crops are high and the stones are hidden and you have to make what you can have what little is available to you so we're coming up duck its passage and it's the evening time it's not so hot now I'm very short which will be a problem when we get to the weeds and the thistles but not such a hot day today as it was yesterday that was some tough stone clearing but the ground is baked the stones feel that they are trapped forever Wolfie's doing a

weave just by the alphanoma again I'll see if I can just find something to add to that not the way to the can see what's in here walks hold on there must be a stone somewhere I haven't cleared no yet there's a little tiddler onto alphanoma or thereabouts it goes and we're off off around the station the wheat is shredded like me like I should believe it I've got to put on a bit of weight it's brown it's got a little bit of red in amongst that brown for look that's a beautiful photo one fallen stone clear remembered no stone starsy but yeah everything's dry what was once green is now brown but the stones remain same

colour as always the seasons cannot change them nor the years condemn for they will always be stones but ever and ever I mean and a nice clear there looks like someone's moved some of the stones there don't want to get into that again even kick this baby or kicked up a nice I mean maybe medium small or small large it's off the field now it was in the pathway as most of these stones will be let's see if we can kick this one off we are intermediate and this is beyond intermediate conditions that we're working in here this is some of the toughest conditions known to stone clearing man and woman it's just one

woman who stone clears only the scree on the top of the field is really clearable there's not much I can tell you as intermediate guys you know just do what you can we'll come back here in four or five years for once we get to advanced part of this course and super advanced part of course I will tell you how stone clear is deal with this stuff around there are some nice stones here just taking one step out and the good thing about the crops being this high as you can step through them pretty comfortably couple of stones there new can forming actually there by a tree come on something in grass was it's just

good to be back I've done actually today and and also in the week or maybe last week a record is a beginner stone clear a lesson for my new audio book can I have my ball back which is available to pre-order has a whole chapter about the stone clearing but also now has an extra on the audio book in which I take the beginner around a part of the field just to see if I can wet the appetite of some of the people I haven't found this secret podcast remain secret thank you for keeping it a secret the people who found it will fees jumping in the Sto the Brown Sto so I've done a couple of

chords one of them just came out you could hear it but there was just a couple on it I don't know why hopefully today it's the kind of thing I would put out on the feet but when it's when you do an audio book for beginners you can't give them that so I had to go and do a second beginners good girl well done walks down a nice poo in a pot of the undergrowth that I do not need to get into to pull this come up it's baby I don't think it's going this way in my running shoes today doesn't mean I haven't got the purchase required to take up some of those persistent buggers haven't got my oh some pigeons flying

across the field will be seven look letting them go I'm going to purchase required to take out those persistent stones clamped in the hard vagina of the summer field how I love spring and autumn when the field has become loose and fluid can plunge your hand fingers sometimes a fist right into right into her and she loves it but right now she's so hot that she's frigid always ask mother nature's consent before indulging in sexual practices with her so it's like they're recordings holding good still going is it is it good quality only time will tell so there's not much I can tell you you know you just

got them you've got to make your way making your way like the juxtaposit like making their way the only way they know how it's just a little bit more there's a dead mouse that's nice and no I thought it was a stone and it was a dead mouse you might have cobwebs on it probably was just the process of death taking going through small prickly leaves and there's a big bramble right across the path coming up here I'll try and put it so what we can just get underneath limbo is underneath it I'm going to try and pull it aside got through but there's some thistles that's just a little bit more the duke

the duke of hazard of course their original stone clearers and all the stuff they did to anus was just the way to distract bus hog buff hog they called him from their stone clearing activities and if you want to live in the 1970s yeah this probably doesn't mean too much to you but you may have watched the poorly received feature film of the dukes of hazard daisy duke daisy duke I called her she was my favorite she was she wore shorts I'm wearing shorts like her today I mean not exactly like her I don't think wearing shorts just makes you daisy duke daisy duke um that's just a little bit more than the law allows making the way

riding around someday the mountain my kid the lord never will and that's uh sometimes someday the stones may get me but the stone stars he never will um and they're not even they're not even out tonight the sky hangs gray over the ocean tonight perhaps considering unleashing a torrent of rain the kind of night could get the thunder probably not the hail I've experienced down here it's not always on don't record them all there's one one time I was really struck by lightning I could see the lightning approaching and the straight line towards me hitting the ground closer and closer I don't know how I

spared that night let's go a little bit longer around wolf coming to the can across from the main can uh just it's part of the path now it's a problem the path moved up right to the edge of the field which is reminder again I can't remind you enough keep your kens and your cleared stones as far off the field as you can lest they become part of the field again through the changing flux of unless that's not a tautology of pathways um well that's a nice stone for that just in the path I haven't seen this one before that's a beauty of a medium maybe it's been cleared and fallen back on lovely caramel brown put a chunk to it yeah we're really finding uh uh untamed wilderness here the boundaries have not been cut back so I'm

walking through just long grass at the moment there could always be a nettle in there ever in danger as a stone clear that nice stone there just on the path I mean these may have been cleared before that's the thing the path is moving right over so I'm getting these stones nicely off the field under the trees and the bushes eventually of course those stones all part of the wall will be higher than these 20 foot bushes and trees but not yet not today not today my friends but one day keep at it keep clearing those photons oh no oh it is still going I thought it stopped wouldn't want to lose any of this gold would that be the terrible thing if this turned out to be a lost podcast a lost chapter after all this time of waiting and the number of emails I've had from

people going where's something what's happened to stone for it why isn't something coming out every week I couldn't even begin to count how many there have been probably read from she at the end of the podcast um but guys just sometimes I have to clear my head when I'm clearing my stone sometimes it has to be a private affair sometimes you want to masturbate in front of the whole world that will watch a bit of the uh a little coming up here nicely nice chunk uh sometimes you have to masturbate alone crying and they've cleared what clearing stone and there's no path here I'm just walking through wheat it's prickling at my knees wheat prickling at my knees we're coming up to the singing ring entry another bit a decent chunk of uh an ancient brick there possibly roman

and orages possibly part of the windmill was never into the singing ring entry it goes with a little stone noble elves and pixies today my friends if they didn't come out at covid time would they come now there's quite a lot of just bits of tired brickwork that's just in the pathway a little stone circle here that stone little crop circle that's more of a crop oblong stone notice these around a few just crushed bits of wheat for no real reason if it's aliens they've not done a great job another one here just the semicircle up here to the just by the path looks like spices have been laying down and fucking each other the kind of

that's the kind of damage we're talking about the size of damage oh nice stone again the little caramely colored one into the border it goes that one's like coming back I said thank you rich didn't overhear that's it so please thanks rich for rescuing me certainly but just do my job guys just do my job oh my little sports shoes good enough to get this baby out let's see how many kicks it'll take oh it's big though it's big ones kick trapped over come on sibling stones oh I've got it with a mixture of kicking and prying that's the biggest stone of the day look at that

walks and there's some beauties along here on the path just on the path the path I've walked thousand times before you'd think every stone would have been picked up it's almost like they're all just rolling a couple more in virgin on the medium size there heading up to top corner of the field it's been a long while since we've been all the way around the perimeter we're not going to be doing that today we're going to be crossing across to the can in the central field see how that's progressing honestly I could I could spend hours just clearing the path here it's almost as if look at that I mean that's just all more stone than soil what's going on I can't think I haven't got time for this I've got to get home and watch a better

cool soil part of my cover ironically I haven't seen this week's episode yet no spoilers better called four I call it I just chain guesses for f's and another couple of nice caramels just on the path not even having to step onto the field though the wheat is sparse here I can see a lot of a lot of field stones and they're shouting at me what about us don't clear the path stones they're nearly off anyway well we've got to get all of you off guys and you can't do it all at once you have to take your time you have to choose your moment you're close to the edge think of those poor buggers sort of four feet from the edge of the field what about the poor buggers sort of 20 feet from the edge of the field what about those guys

right in the middle there how long will it take me to get to them how many years will they wait to feel my hermione hands clasping their stony bodies as we both judder to a climax a lot of years is the answer to that question because I've been going four years and I still haven't cleared the path of course these headphones I'm wearing are usually providing reasonably good sound to shield my ears from any approaching sound of stone stars you have to keep my eyes peeled thought sort of movement the bushes there think it was just a bird some kind it's not that kind fellas we're not back in the 70s there are a few choice birds around this field usually though I have to say it's you know I'm

hoping one day because the laws of society as you know do not exist out here one day one day surely just the law of averages one of them's got to take a fancy to me not that day has not yet arrived and we're out in the corner of the field and see a bit of a couple of fields nothing around nobody around you'd think people would have moved their dog walks a little later one of them I have done so because we've had pizza express with my kids celebrate the end of their school yeah and successful drama club they've been put to bed by their mum I'm walking the dog I'm walking the dog in inverted commas and I am walking dog as well but what I'm doing is sound clearing

just but no one around no no one does see what I do so quietly so violently that's silently violent yet as much as he cleared no one can see him he is so wily he is so bold he is begging for a fun thing more valuable than gold though also if there is gold he would take that too but also just clear from the field he's not doing it for months again oh and that's a big throw there will that reach the edge oh so close just fell into the last like a sea mcqueen trying to get over that fence that that stone flew just landed on the wrong side just in the wheat it'll be years before that f**k is clear

I don't even walk along there usually poor f**ker this one looks like he might come up here look at that it's a nice one what do you think of that little back it walks back to the way in fear knocked it out of my hand that's a rampast and knocked this stone out of my hand should it be scared of it I don't know if it has some magic anti dog powers just jumping up on it he's very excited this one looks like here like a stone knickknack first the a boat which I mean the sweet not the sweet the crisp the knickknack crisp looks like a knickknack giant knickknack made a stone it's making me salivate a little bit I might try and give it a little suck later if you feel like sucking a stone just suck on it and if you feel like being sucked by a stone

just clamp two of them around you whatever you want sucked and I'm saying sucked and you know I should be saying a different word but I mean sucked although if you want to f**k it as well again it's the same it's the same basic it's being sucked by a stone and being f**ked by a stone is sort of the same unless you can get some kind of stony tongue wet tongue involved a bit of water it's still be absolutely the same as being f**ked by it yeah it's it's the summertime as the pheromones are flying from the stones from the wheat maybe even from me it's the little life in this old dog yet said a few years of making love to stones before my own stone dries up finally dries up

four of those footballers out on the wreck kicking balls around what I'll point this thing it's just kicking balls back and forth for no reason nothing to show for it an hours and hours out there that we play in their lifetimes will they make a wall of goals though would anyone remember their goals when they're gone now well that's not me my friends I'm out here doing something worthwhile with my time yeah I'm making something something beautiful something everlasting something that will never be forgotten something that will make future generations gasping wonder how did this one become so clear of stones who did this what mysterious alien creature must have done it was beyond the technology of anything at the time apart from

one of those big stones with like a wordy bucket on it and I'll look down from heaven and laugh you poor fools aliens I don't think so aliens may have put the stones out but they certainly did not clear them right can't send to the field can't see it so I overcome with vegetation I'm just throwing my stones in I can hear them click click and clank of the little wank nobody in sight 24 minutes into my recording I haven't seen this old they're gonna pick up a few of these loose stones around here some of them look like broken off stalactites none of them very big but they're all finding their final resting place let's go towards the stone pole let's pick some stuff up as we go we'll see what

we can find good girl here's here's a stone just begging to be picked up for the stone pole we're a long way from it but it's saying choose me choose me my friend choose me I've chosen you you don't have to keep talking there you can shut up you've chosen you're going you're one of the few that will another say one of the few two of the few that will end their life you know having served the stone pole even fewer will hit the stone pole of course uh some have to live in ignorance of being stones they've got as far as being stone pole stones but then sadly didn't even hit the stone pole and the other stones know which who's who and divide up accordingly but it's a risk you have to take isn't it better to have tried to be

hit a stone pole and lost them not tried at all but of course you will be viewed as worse than just a regular stone if you are one of those unlucky stones on a good all five now could just be there we're all five going to stone nirvana the pop group not the heaven you know i've missed you guys i've missed you not you stones i'm not talking to you i'm talking to the listener here the lifna it's nice to be back here we required some birds of prey maybe pigeons sits on the telephone lines waiting for me to die so they can peck out my eyes not going to be today guys not going to be today

is not going to be today and the rain this seems to have held off the clouds darker on the horizon you can hear this even through these headphones hear the shouts with the foolish footballers wasting their lives wasting their energy what a load of fucking pricks oh i'm friends with some people well done i'd rather be alone rather be friends with these stones be cookie cookie kicking a ball around with loads of blokes and then going down the cob with them and hugging them and stuff just maybe get a bit too drunk see how things progress then laugh off

the next day i don't tell the other guys it's a secret for us too i'm the that's what i'm saying you know i'd rather be me here we are stone pole well there's a there's a there's a harder the pass divided in two i'm going to take the harder course and reward straight away one out of one even on further away oh just skimmed it two out of two hit it three out of three could it be all five wolves no that fourth one goes into ignominy but fifth four out of five not bad one was the cabane of nirvana the others went on to form the food fighters and uh had a pretty successful career so here we are cutting towards the uh main can not much to show if we're just kicking a little

stone off there always working always looking always saying yo you're kicking your footballs i i just kicked a stone nice little stone there looks almost like it's been carved into a square but it hasn't that's just how nature has let it fall excuse me a bit of pizza express pizza there repeating on me oh have you lived without this guys have you lived without me you've merely existed i know right now uh just picking up a few bits of shrapnel for the to the main can always worth it doesn't always have to glory hunt don't have to be big stones off to the main can you need the the little bits to fill in the gaps keep that thing solid

stop it stop gravity pulling it down that's what happens it looks lower than it's ever been at the moment but it's not it's the same it's the same number of stones they've just collapsed in as i've survived in some ways i suppose that's just old age for you guys when i started this i was a a young man just 51 years old now things i've seen fire ice a bloke chucking all my stones back onto the field uh duty murray a moorlock baby rhino tried in the horse seen it all out here sunshine some rain boogie moonlight seen a lot on we go down the wooden hill to Hertfordshire we're still rolling we're still rolling we're still rocking i mean you know probably not probably not recorded properly it'd be a terrible shame that's just the brakes heading towards the dip

that stopped breakfast the ditch that got Boris Johnson sack the ditch that stopped the war in Ukraine and the ditch that can't decide between a rishi sunak and uh hillary k is it i can't remember the other one is old pork bellies list trust that's the same sort of thing in it same sort of are we going to have our third female prime minister are we going to have our second ethnic prime minister yes i'm counting disraeli erasists and here's a real kind of mystery i saw what happened here loads of the wheat tumbled on top of itself a few strands survive no one will ever know what happened here certainly not me i'm not going to bother

trying to find out i've got to find the stone for the oh do we that's a good girl just an old lady there now who's wuffy and i've got to find a stone for the bits of the ditch so the brexit doesn't come back to haunt us it's a big responsibility keeping brexit out off every day a stone has to go in or brexit will return Boris Johnson will be prime minister again here it is brexit ditch one two little tiddlers doesn't have to be big doesn't have to be many just has to be there just has to be consistent in fact sometimes too many stones will turn the ditch gods against whatever you're hoping will happen

sometimes no stones will mean brexit sometimes too many stones will mean brexit but you can't second guess it using my fingers to clear up what looked like a little stone turned out to be quite a long stone came up nicely that's going on the afro and american nearly home nearly home my fan friends and then we shall sup we shall sup shabby wars i've got three stones just picked up on the other one from the path these are for the afro and umbra gods i feel like the first one missed the actual pile by our distance there we did i can see it again now but that should appease them right back on the

good girl come here i'm two weeks in a poo what a good girl so back down ducats passage time to look at the sobbing there's so many emails how can so many people be involved i'm really sorry to have let you guys down i can see how angry you are um here's the typical one from padlock gait handle padlock gait handle if you've got a kid called gait handle don't call them padlock but it might be a nickname um he says i'm few or he or she they that's what you have to say these days isn't it due to physical fitness on that um doesn't matter gender doesn't matter i think it's all organic material will fail and disappear including genitals

in the end we are all the same gender that gender is dust sludge and dust bone rotting away carbon atoms disappearing into the heat uh anyway padlock gait handle that's the one that was their name i'm gonna obviously i can still see it on the email so that you know uh it says i'm so angry richard just read it in a more angry voice than that i'm really angry you know i'm really angry where's my beloved stone clearing podcast how am i meant to learn how to clear stones if you just take seven weeks off doing fuck all fanning around doing audio books and having a life with your children doing the book podcast come on who's the most who's been with you since the beginning the stone clearing lot the flag hags we've always been here from you

right from the beginning before pistol fun before the radio one shows before it's on the hour four weekend before the oxygen review we were there and now you're treating us like shit in fact you're treating us like for it that's how angry i am so get out there you better do another podcast before uh nine o'clock on the 20th of july or i'm gonna come and burn your fucking village down so i hope you've been warned well i mean it won't be out probably by that time so hopefully you'll wait um so yeah i've done it so as long as this hasn't come wrong so uh some angry people oh my wife i have to attend i'm just talking on the phone yeah no yeah i've got to yeah i've got to go now because i'm gonna watch back also with my wife

yeah see you brian brian um cooker yeah all right take care enjoy your stone clearing that you do brian thanks for listening to this phone call bye live stone clearing with richard herring starred me richard herring and wolfie the dog plus brian cooker on the phone at the end there that was who i was talking to the music is by mike coughgrave the voice of this for tones is michael faheen oh oh

Lift her to the throne, and they in turn fowl, Lift her to ye, my friend, my fine friend.