Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 124

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Chapter 124 - Ftone Halloween. It's 8:14am on the 25th August 2022 and after a month of stone rest, Herring is back. Will the Ftocean be clear of crops and if so what wonders shall Herring find? Remember size and hardness is not important in any way, but you always remember the particularly hard ones, plus a stone the size of a child's head, but which child and just general excitement to be back here. The rain will not dampen the fire in stone clearer's heart.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring See you later No, I'm just going to go around the field Wolves, come here Come here Good girl Here we go, two, three, four Hold up

Hello my finest friends, welcome to Stone Clearing chapter one, two, four It's the 25th of August, it's 8.14am And it's my first Stone Clear Since July We're going up onto the Stocean What changes will have come? Will it have been cloud?

Will it have been harvested? We're about to find out all the juicy details And you're going to be with me live as it happens In actuality You're very lucky people, hope you enjoyed your summer break Hope you were still clearing stones, even if I wasn't I was on holiday in the Isle of Arran There's an island for sale, opposite where we were staying

The lighthouse, I know a lot of stones on it 27 acres, slightly smaller than this Stocean But I did think it would be fun to buy that And just clear all the stones to the edge The rest of the mountain is on that Having your own island would be nice, wouldn't it? It was £350,000 For a 27 acre island with a lighthouse

And a six bedroom property that needed renovation I mean, you know, it's not cheap But compared to, say, my one and a half bedroom flat in Ballon Which is now, which I bought many years ago But I looked on the right move a few years ago And it was about £600,000 Oh my God! That's not too bad, is it?

No, but I'm hoping I know your garden Well, it's good news, I've arrived at the Stocean And the wheat, whatever it was, is gone Check, we're definitely connected Yes, it's raining, by the way Let's get a picture of this wolfie Do you want to be in the picture, Wolfs? Yeah, that's what we're talking about

Hello, hello, hello, good it's working Oh, and not only does this mean I can transgress And hassle-hop everywhere I want I can see thousands of new stones I'm just going through the first one that called to me We're walking out into the Willowd Oh, look at that beautiful, beautiful medium sized stone And right next to it, a beautiful, even slightly bigger

Medium sized stone, these will go on the Alphanomagic Inn I mean, I'm walking over a thousand stones It may be raining, but it's sunshine in my heart Onto the Alphanomagic Inn Those, the kind of size that it would usually take Weeks to create on the Alphanomagic Inn Look at this, just lying in the path, it's more large See if I can throw that onto here, that's nice to throw in

Towards the Alphanomagic Inn, it's beautiful out here Don't let Wolfie off the leaf for a little sec Hope I don't get distracted by all these stones Oh, look at that, two beauties Are they sibling stones? I think they are Together they would have been, oh yeah, definitely siblings Together they would have been a medium, large They're now off the field

Starting their own can, they're that big Maybe even a large, small there This is too good to be true, I'm glad you're here This was meant to, after those difficult days of summer Where the ground was hard, the crops were in the way How wonderful to be back here Of course the ground hasn't even been plowed yet This is just the actions of the machinery

Harvesting the crops has created this mini bounty I don't know if this can even count as stone Christmas This is just stone Thanksgiving Day Maybe stone bonfire night Stone Halloween, I don't know, it's still good though I'm just picking up, that's a small medium there But I'm taking it off anyway And I've missed this

I've got quite a bad back at the moment So this isn't the best thing I could be doing But you know, stone clearing rejuvenates an old body Makes you forget about those lower back pains You can try yoga, but I would suggest trying stone clearing Look at this, another medium just right there, bang Middle, medium, medium And of course I could house off right into the middle of the field

If I wanted, this is your opportunity to get out And clear some of those stones from the middle of the field But you might not get to usually I mean, we're on an intermediate level today But this is fucking easy This is the easiest stone clearing you'll ever see, my friends The ground's damp, everything's coming out Everything's coming up, stonesies

Even right at the edge here Still, oh look at that one, just on the edge wolves Who knew we were walking over that all this time That's a nice chunk of stone right there Nothing bigger than, I mean this is sort of the size of a pot noodle Slightly crushed pot noodle What I should call it, cup Not empty in the middle, full of stone in the middle

Oh look at that one, I mean you know I could spend all day here Just picking out big chunks of stone Just gonna have all wolves in a poop It's good to know that still functions Just house-offing out, I thought it was a bigger one than that But it's, I still get it off, still house-off Off it goes A lot of dark stones, but just because I think they've been underground for a while

Covered by the thick dark soil of Hertfordshire Must be horrible for them To be encased in organic material when they are permanent stone Stone that can never be defeated But they know eventually their time will come The rain pushes on The brambles They're still looking pretty good actually

These were sort of, there's still some viable ones there I thought we were gonna miss the brambles entirely this year There's a few black berries there that could be taken off They could be taken to some kind of pie to feed my family But who cares about these priperies These passing things When we have permanents I'll just play this one, looks like the size of a scum

You know, a good scum There you go, that's a nice big scum Oh, yeah, I mean I can't even describe what I'm seeing I don't have the words Do not have the words for this I have to scrabble it around for scraps Over the last few months Just every single stone is satisfying

Not that small stones aren't satisfying That's not what I'm saying Before we start writing in Not brown bramble, I love all stones equally But it's still nice when you get a big chunk It's like if you're having sex with someone and they've got a tiny penis It's still fine But it's not satisfying when you get your hands on a big chunky, hard penis

When it's a soft little penis You know what I'm talking about Size isn't important That's what I'm talking about What you do with accounts You know, it's easy to do stuff with a very big, hard, fucking massive Talking about which that one looks a bit like cock shaped Yeah, I'm just holding it in my hand now

Like a big, hard cock Wish my cock couldn't get that hard It doesn't anymore What's happening to me? Why am I saying this stuff? I'm just over excited with the bounty that's on display By which I mean of stones It's not like a big...

Someone hasn't put the chocolate bar bounty Just a little bit of levity We're having fun Having fun as well Just because it's such a beautiful day Beautiful rainy day All that one Probably isn't gone far enough off

Do that one again Into the edge Haven't seen any monsters But definitely a lot of above average So I'm talking about stones now You know, I'm just walking past Stone after stone Day after day, alone on the field

A man with a foolish grin He's not being still, he's picking up stones Round we go We're in the corner of the field now First corner It's quite round for the corner Just looking for a good stone to put on the can In the corner of the field but

No monsters here There's a couple of Decent specimens They've been buying their time I've been doing this for what, five years or something like that They've been here a lot longer than that Just got to find the can in the corner of the field now It's off, but there it is

It doesn't get... There's some leaves Maybe that's the can as well I think it is, I'm not sure It is now Just added four or five nice medium stones to that Oh, is that the biggest of the eight? No, it's up there though

Up there Where do they all come from? It's a question Stoneker has Just had to repeatedly ask I've been clearing stones for five years I think surely it's freshly round the edge Surely there's nothing else here for us And then

Still they come Slightly boggy conditions Here I'm breathing a little heavy But I'm clearing a lot of stones Largestone And then the plough comes What marvels shall we see then? It's just harder to trunch through this mud

The boot's quite clumped With organic soil Nicely woofy again, isn't it woof? Missed hair over the last month My partner in crime I don't know what I'm doing, it's technically illegal Because the law of the stones overrides all laws But I did

So yeah maybe I'll move to an island I can do what I will with the stones Never a perfect isle Surrounded by a wall So no one can get to my island in or out. Every grain on the island will be soil stone around the edge. I will be truly alone. No man is an island, they say, until he has bought an island. They pull the stones around the edge like a wall and said no one else can come in and it's unable to get out and eventually he starts to

death. Now I think we could probably grow food on the island. There were some gardens on it that used to be work to use by lighthouse keepers. Imagine living in a lighthouse. It would be awesome. I'm gonna do it. Crowdfund it. Oh what's that out there? Let's have a look at this wolf. Oh my goodness. Have we found the Moby Dick? This is the biggest stone I've seen for a long time. Oh I don't know if I can lift it. Oh fuck, I need two hands. Oh look at that wolf. Look at that. I've never seen it. I've never had anything as big. I'm gonna put some of the cane opposite the main cane. It's gonna immediately make the cane opposite the main

cane. Almost twice as big. I'm holding it in one hand now. It's big. But that's all it's rolled off a little bit. And that is an amazing piece of material there. Oh it's off now. Right let's head across. I think see what else we can see across here. That was a beautiful moment. That's the biggest stone maybe since the first year of stone clearing. I don't mean obviously I do remember them all and think about them all. But they all become equal in my eyes. But I won't forget that one for a while. We're heading across the field. Oh I hope this is recording properly. I've got such dirty hands on it.

Let me go and look at my phone. It seems to still be going. So we've been here before. The drip drip drip drip drip drip drip that will never stop. The rain. Just trying to navigate my way. This is a recent flowering that the path has not yet been reformed. Weirdly not many stones in this part. Which is good because it's hard to clear them from here. I just wrote the occasional one back towards the shore. This is a bit far. Let's see if we can chase this one. It's got closer. I think I suspect as we get towards the other side of the field we'll see some normal monsters. But I'm still recovering from the size. That was as big as the child's

head. Depending on what kind of size child you're thinking of. But it was big and it was heavy. One day I'll get one that has too heavy for me to carry alone. Either because I am too weak or it is too big. I weaken each year of course. But so far I've ever coped with everything this field could throw at me. No stone starts out in this awful rain. I can get thousands of stones out. They're old folks' homes. This might be the autumn that kills them. I've already proved my own immortality. I've survived cancer. Nothing can get me now. I'm gonna journey friends. If you've been with me from the start and if you haven't been

with me from the start go back and go to the start because you shouldn't be listening to this. Is that a stone or some soil? What a shame. Big clump of soil there. That's a stone. That's a nice stone to pick up. I'm not quite as big as it looks. I'm not into the size and the hardness. You know, whatever it's like it's fine. But you know sometimes you'll know it's just extra hard. Remember those days. Whether it's yours or whether it's someone you're sharing with. Look at this. As predicted. It's a big bit of metal. I'll take that off. I'm finding a bit of metal. It's not in my remit. But it's not

organic. Too many big stones here for me to carry. I don't know why I'm wasting my time with some metal. Oh look at this one. Wolfie look at that one. Fuck me. I think that might be it. I've got five big stones here and a piece of long piece of metal. Yeah I could come back here a thousand times and walk away with the same. Just checking there's no stone stars here that to make me drop this. Drop my load. Actually quite hard carrying this. Oh look at that one. Always a feckin' part of the field. However much I clear from here there's always more. But these boys and girls, that's not the sexes and trans stones and non binary stones. They're going right in the middle. I don't care about the wall today.

These are going right up top. I'm looking a little sad for itself. Gravity keeps pulling it down. And these will make a big difference. There's the metal going on. Probably some part of a Roman villa or something. Oh that's my poo bag. I didn't need it with the safety. Should we go back one more time? We'll just go over the same bit. Let's have a look for a couple more of those big stones. In such a skittish mood I'm just going to take that little flat one. It's got a tile but it's not. It's a stone off. Sorry that's been thrown on.

Let's see what else we can find. Definitely saw some good stones out here and I don't want to risk this occasion just leaving them. Coming back to find out the stones. The field's been plowed. Those stones are buried again for another thousand years. I can throw that one. I didn't get it all the way but I can pick that up as we go closer. Now of course my hands are dirty if any stone is as large as it does come by. They may suspect that they cannot prove anything. I could just be messily clearing up some dog shits. It's all got out of hand.

Let's go for another five more so it's not getting greedy. Let's rescue these bastards. That one's sticking up dangerously. He's really holding off his hand. Sorry they are. It is. Whatever you pronounce. Good girls. Rain keeps coming down but nothing can stop. The fire in my heart is burning strong. This is why I became stone clearer. This is why I'll never give up. Maybe that one I threw and I can't see it. So ten big stones really raving the height to the centre of the skin back up to past glory days. Dirt all over me. Dirt on my shirt. Dirt on my skirt. Come on let's get going.

Let's see what's down here. Oh that was a leaf. Just kick to the stone and turn that into a leaf. That's going to happen during these moments of glory. Filthy hands. Might just have to wipe them on some grass but at any point. There's very much to walk down the hill after the ejaculation of stones. Not always, as you'll know, it's always a little quieter down the stretch. You head towards the ditch that stops it. What things will it stop in the future for war in Ukraine still working on that? Good will triumph as long as good men clear stones.

Really hard ending down here. Really weird. I hope you can hear the drips taking my headphones. Well good to be back, I hope you're glad to have me back. I mean if you're not you probably just don't listen to the podcast, come on. Obviously now we go on and off the knee all the way round here. Finally we see a little stone, you can come off. It's like a map of United States of America without a lap going away. Right we're coming to the ditch to stop Brexit and then we need to get a couple of stones in here to see.

I haven't fed this baby for a little while. It's just a little bit of a trap note down here. That's fine. Don't be intimidated by the big hard stones we've seen today. Remember a lot of the stones you see on the internet are being shot from a different angle. Into the ditch to stop Brexit and there's a lovely stone here. I think the Brexit ditch is going to have that. That's the biggest stone from the Brexit ditch for a while. Clink it goes and just remains to gather a couple more for the ditch to stop growing up. They are for an omega-can. Don't overdo it.

Remember the gods can see through vanity and arrogance as easily as you can see through a window. It's as much as I've been hoping for. Sometimes it comes sometimes it doesn't. We've taken some tonnage off the field today. All the stone pairs can really have a hope for a day like today. I think we can give three big stones to the alpha and a word of omega-can. That's neglecting it for so long. It never grows. I'm not going to use you as a towel. We'll come and find this.

We'll go to the emails with my dirty hands. Here we go. A lot of emails in over the summer. A lot of angry. Where's my stone clearing book? Come on guys. Just be grateful for what you have. I'm not going to read any of those. I've got one here from Shaky Dog.

Shaky Mc Dog. I'm just reading it out. It's called Shaky Mc Dog. I've just read it out. I don't know what it is. It's called Shaky Mc Dog. I'm just reading out how it felt, I'm missing the string cleaning but like any proper string cleaning I realized there has to be some downtime for the truly great podcast to erase, so I just

want to say thank you, thank you for being here, you are an amazing man, come to Scotland by an island, live up here and be our king, that is what we all truly wish for up here in Scotland so if you couldn't do it you could be the king of heaven, live in your latus and make us all so proud to be Scottish like you. Well thank you shaky muck dog, you know it's nice to hear that sometimes you forget how much A that this podcast said all over the world and then Scotland plucks away and they lose their, you know I mean to you as a sort of dodgy but I'm not crying this is just me waiting for something to come out, I'm just going to say that to you guys, oh the garden will meet this little downhole, this is by the Lord, I haven't got to say that one

Oh my wife is going to make him the handbrake, I bought the boat, I bought the boat, thank you for listening everyone, I'm grateful that, I hope you enjoyed that, I'm very much very excited that was just one of the greatest days of my life, we'll see you again next time hopefully weekly again, cheers Liffon to the stone my friend and they for helping year merry dance, don't Liffon to the birds and trees, don't Liffon to your underpants, Liffon to the stone, Liffon to the stone and they in turn I'll Liffon to ye my friend, my fine friend for tone clearing with Richard Herring, for Tard Mee Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog, the Muvik if by Mike Coffgrave, the voice of the Photones is Mike or Fahin, sorry about the sound

quality towards the end of the podcast and also that my wife is making stuff in the kitchen at the moment Liffon to the stone my friend and they for helping year merry dance, don't Liffon to the birds and trees, don't Liffon to your underpants, Liffon to the stone, Liffon to the stone and they in turn I'll Liffon to ye my friend my fine friend ah