Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 130

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

Chapter 130 - Pacman. It's 12.53pm on 4th December and it's a rare Sunday lunchtime stone clear. It's intermediate but the odd pro tip might slip through. There's a real email. Which isn't unusual obviously. And then another real email at the end with yet another listener after Richard's gametes. Plus why it's important to have a false family and Rich has an affable chat with a member of the Stone Stasi.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring More, more, more. How do you like it? How do you like it? Well, sit. Good. Go away. Sit. Good girl. Wolfie, say it. Sit. Good girl. Stay. Good. There's the little loop. Here it comes. Then we can go. Go away. Hold on. Now we can go. But first, we've got to unlock the door. We've got to unlock the gate, haven't we? Are you excited? Don't be too excited because there's cars out here. Here we go. Oh, lovely smoky smell of Christmas. Just got our Christmas tree, aren't we, Wolfs? It's lovely and smoky. We're going. We're going. What's going on? What's the rush?

Hello, hello, hello. Hello. We're definitely working, Wolfs. That's looking good. Let's see. Okay. Right. Hello, my fine friends. Welcome to Stone Clearing. Chapter 1-3-0. It's 12.53. It's the 4th of December. It's a Sunday. It's an unusual Sunday lunchtime, Stone Clearing. Obviously, I do this every week, but I don't usually. It's usually one just for me and Wolfie. Can you believe we're at chapter 30? 130. I mean, we're 30 into our, or is it 31, into our intermediate session. Just 70 short podcasts away from moving into the experienced, the chapters for experienced Stone Clearers.

I know many of you are waiting for these, but hopefully there's still some wisdom for us all to be garnered from these intermediate ones. It's never too late to learn about Stone Clearing, that's what I say. The station is a vivid emerald green. It's like we're in Ireland. I don't know what the crop is yet. Some kind of grass slash grain. We'll let Wolfie off the lead and just give our offering to the Alpha and Omega Can, however intermediate we are. We must never forget about that. And off we go. Well, welcome. Since 16th of November was the last one we did this, so it's been a little bit of a while. It's been quite a busy time, but December is going to be, I've taken all the other stuff out of my schedule, so I can mainly just Stone Clear. I've already done three stones, even if you heard them. Here comes another one.

I'm hoping this is connected. Yeah, it seems to be working okay. I wouldn't want to miss any of the gold that I'm sure will come about today. Just kicked a couple of stones off there. That's another thing you can do, of course. Very few stone stars around at the moment. Maybe that would change this week. Oh, there's lots of stones here. Wolfie does like to chase the stone. She's getting pretty good at it. Come on, darling. So, I've been very exhausted recently. Just doing a little bit too much. You can burn the stones at both ends. That was a good kick. You do have to be careful not to get to the point where you can't get out at all.

Sometimes just doing one or two stones is better than clearing 100 and then not being able to clear for five weeks, because you want to go to sleep. But keeping up this pretence of having a family. I mean, they're a real family, but they're not really invested in them. It's taking a lot of my time. My son's been a bit ill. It takes you away from the stone clearing. It's a fantastic subterfuge. No one expects a stone clearing to be married, let alone ever have sex, even twice as I have. Sometimes you have to make these sacrifices to really clear stones effectively without being stopped by the stone stars. They do seem to have been thinned out by Covid somewhat. We've just walked their dogs at different times now. I don't know. But thank you to an actual email this week. I mean, I'll get hundreds a week from someone asking where a stone clearing was. It was absolutely astonishing. Thank you.

So that is back. I think it was someone called Mel. I forget. I just can't think off the top of my head, but hello. This stone clearing is for you. I mean, probably literally. Judging by the download. Why? Did you bring that back on? No good if you bring it back on with... Wolfie just... I've got a nice Pac-Man shirt down there that I chucked off and Wolfie then brought back on and put it further onto the field than it had been when I took it off. That's the danger of working with a dog who I suspect might be one of the stone starsy. But yeah, we're very much working at the edge, of course. I've been out quite a few stone clears, of course, and very cold one last night. The stones. I mean, it's worrying for the planet that it's taken till December to get to the point where I've picked up a stone that has chilled me to my own bones.

That use even four or five years ago for global warming started kicking in. That would happen back in September. But today is a slightly milder day. The stones aren't biting. Biting with freezing cold. They're just reasonably cold. But you can, of course, wear gloves if you're... But it's like wearing a condom. Not during sex. Again, most of you won't know what that's like. But it sort of dulls the experience. It's nice to be... To use your fingers, however cold... Oh, that's a beauty there. That's a nice medium small. That's off going to the brambles. To use your fingers. You commune with the stone. You feel with the stone. How do this get here? And the path there. Quite approaching. Medium, medium now, I'd say. So do try and use your finger. If you have fingers, I'm not assuming everyone listening has fingers. Don't cancel me.

That's whatever you're using. It's good to... Skin is... Some of you won't have skin. And again, not... You're not excluded. But skin to stone content or whatever you have is the best for me. But if you find that the cold embrace of a frozen stone reminds you too much of the coming loss and death, then you go buy some gloves or something if you like. Right down in the corner of the field. It's going to be a shortest one today. Of course, I've got nothing. I've never really got nothing to say. Oh, what's going on? Trying to kick a stone and nearly trip Wolfie up. She's looking at this stone. She's hungry for a stone. This is going on the can in the corner of the field. It isn't quite in the corner of the field, but essentially is.

Where has it gone? Oh, there it is. It's a bit covered in weeds. And I have to say after all this time, what is it? Four years now? Five years? Four years? I'm slightly disappointed that some of the cans aren't a bit more magnificent. But it takes time. It takes time to tango. To be honest, it's just nice to be at the house. Might not talk to you too much, just enjoying the peace and quiet. A little bit of stone there. There's a bit of tile. A couple of bits of tile there, maybe from the Roman villa. Quite ancient, but they could be Roman.

I think you're going to get a metal detector for an alternative hobby. Obviously, it's a cover. It didn't let me out on the fields. People think I'm looking for treasure, but I'm looking for stones. Metal has to be clear enough. Of course, it will eventually, mostly, rot away. But you can speed it along by getting off, chucking off. And you might be surprised by the number of stones that are still around the edge of this field after all this time. But you do have to remove the stones. They do grow. They grow. They push themselves through the soil, looking for freedom. Like David has off. And that's when I harvest them, get them away. And then they won't be buried again. And they're grateful to me for all I've done for them.

I'm a hero amongst the stone community. I don't like the word hero. I never use it about myself. But that's what the stones are constantly saying to me. I say, come on, guys. I'm just doing it. I'm just one man doing what every man should do. And woman. And child. You know, children, there are no rules to stone clearing. That's the first rule of stone clearing. Second rule, you must be over 16 to participate. So we're at the cairn across from the main cairn now. I've got a smallish bit of flint. I've been reading Kindred by Rebecca Ragsikes. I want to say her name is. I hope that's correct. I hope for talking to her in book club in a couple of weeks.

And sort of that Neanderthals napping away at little bits of flint and pebbles to make tools. Very disrespectful. Glad the Neanderthals died out. You do not. You must not, of course, try and take everything away from the stones. Keep them as big as possible. Oh, that was a good throw there through a little mini one off. Wolfie's chasing it. It's gone right off the field. Let's try this one. Oh, that's gone a bit awry, but I think I might always bounce pretty much onto the cairn opposite the main cairn. A narrow plain taking off from Luton Airport flies into the sky, people looking down. Is that regenerating the stone clearing? Is that where the stone clearing field is?

They can't be sure. And they've disappeared into the clouds before they can work out where I am. Very top-secret location. You're a good girl. What about this stone? Can I get this one to the edge of the cairn? This is too far. Let's see how far I can get it. Oh, no, that went very awry. Might get that one tomorrow. It went much further to the left than I intended, but then bounced towards the right. This is quite near the path. I may see it again. And I look across this 35-acre stretch of land, and I think of all the stones that must be out there,

and how I will meet every last man and jack of them before I die. Oh, it's stone-starzy. Whoopee, come here. Whoopee, come here. Oh, coming right for us. Very clever. Very clever. Completely loaded. This one's got a little Brezhnev hat on. It might just be his hair. I've got a shep, like a shep dog. Looks like shep probably isn't shep. Is it John Noakes and shep? It could be.

I mean that I'm unlikely to... Or two sheps. It's John Noakes with two sheps. I think there were two sheps, or was that Petra? They replaced Petra quite quickly. It's a dog that's well-behaved, so we'll observe it since the whistles. It does stop me clearly, of course, on this very feckin' area. Give me a little space. Say it, girl. Say it. Hi there. Three dog on the list.

Stop that. Five. Yeah, five in a bit. They don't like each other these two, do they? It's a similar sort of funny male dog thing. No, just bark. All right, Tissie. That's your enemy, Wolfs, isn't it? It wasn't John Noakes. It was the husband of my personal trainer.

Three dogs. Wolfie's a boy. I did not give them any information. They're just fishing for information all the time, these same sazzy. But I told them how old you were, didn't I, Wolfs? John Noakes, I think, died. A shep, I think, is still going. I assume so. Haven't heard any news on that front. The second shep. It might have been Petra, or was that shep's chip, son?

I can't remember. There you go. That's might be who it was. John Noakes has gone, so they've given their dogs to my personal trainer's husband. Yeah, I've got a personal trainer. I mean, Christ, have you looked at me now? You would be surprised. Right, let's head down. Let's keep going. Let's see. Just check we haven't turned.

Oh, it's a quick one today. No, actually, because we did it in two bits, didn't we? Quick today. No stone pole. I'm trying to get one of those in before the end of the year. Very exciting to meet a human being. A little chill in the air, but it's not too bad. We've got a Christmas tree today, as I told you earlier. Oh, that stone's calling out to me.

Richard, you're a hero. Look, I'm not here. Oh, look, bring some of my friends. I'll bring one friend with you. You can just go to the side there. We're close to the Brexit Ditch, but I'm not putting the Brexit Ditch in there. We do have to think about building this wall along this side as well. There'll be more in there. Thanks, Richard, you're a hero. I'm not a hero, guys.

Come on. I don't know if you can hear the stones. Sometimes people tell me they can hear them. Sometimes they say they can't, and I'm mad. Oh, I spotted something out there. I'm going to do a little hassle off. I can't just step between the rows of plants, but there's something quite exciting out here.

It might be a bit of wood, but I think it's a big stone. We haven't had any big ones today. Oh, yeah. That's a nice one. That could go in the ditch that stops Brexit. Oh, it's like a meteorite. Oh, blimey. Do you hear how heavy that was for me to lift up?

That's the size of a small millennium falcon toy. And I'm also picked up a compatriot. The same sort of caramel and white stone. Presumably flint again. It's going in the ditch that stops Brexit, and the ditch is going to love that. And every time I pass this ditch, I try to imagine what the world would be like, what the UK would be like if this ditch hadn't done its job. Stop Brexit happening.

The people of the United Kingdom and the EU owe this ditch a vast amount of thanks. And I think a very big stone is the least that I can give it today with another lit sport stone. Oh, it's not so big. I haven't been able to carry it one-handed this far. But here it goes. Oh, a little clink at the bottom. I expected more of a click there against all the millions of other stones in there. One day, of course, it won't be a ditch any longer.

It'll be a big pile of stones. But for now, let's do the ditch. And we're just coming back to the Alfred and Omega can. Just look through your real emails. You can have a couple of little stones there. Now, Pee Wolfs, what do you do when one wasn't looking? Sometimes you don't have lunchtime, do you? Do you want me to discuss your toilet habits with the nation?

When I say the nation, the world. When I say the world, I mean approximately a few hundred people around the world. You're trying to sleep. I didn't see stone clearing on many people's Spotify lists of most listened to podcasts. I can say this pointy with that. But that's the way it goes. That's the Alfred and Omega can. Start it out.

Let's have a look at your emails. Just heading down Duckie's Passage back into the real world. I'm waving in your universe that you're listening to this from. Brexit did happen. Imagine that. But on the field in the reality, we live in no Brexit. Oh, the cat disappeared from under a fence. Wolfie was slow to spot it.

She's and the cat's over the other fence and safe. But there was a dog in that garden. So she might be troubled. Wolfie is there. We've got to look at the emails. Cat. It's coincidentally the person who sent this is called cat. Cat dog.

He's a fucking touch. She was teasing about that, but maybe equally has embraced it. Catherine dog, I'm guessing. Do double G obviously. She's quite in touch to say Rich Stonkler. I listened to 65,000 minutes of Stonkler in this year. It's pretty impressive. You only put out probably about four or five hours of the Stonkler in podcasts,

but I listened to a lot. I like to get all the different information from it. And I think you really, you do have to listen to it. A thousand or so times before you really appreciate everything. So thanks for that. Have you got a question, Catherine dog? What's... She seems to be struggling to come up with a question.

She just wanted to check my tag. I get this a lot from young ladies. It's a little complicated. I was just trying to track my attention. Yeah. So here's a question. Do you think it would help subterfuge, the subterfuge hide that you're something better if you also came and had sex with me and had a child?

Let me carry your child. No, come on. I can't believe it's... You know, I thought, well, that's lovely email. Nice to hear someone's enjoying the podcast. And then we get to the real thing. People wanting my gametes. Obviously likely that my child, especially if I had it for somebody like Stone Clearing,

would be a Stone Clearing prodigy. But look, I made my wife a note to her for taking all others as long as we both should live. And it was a lie because I was just doing the Stone Clearing, even though I wasn't Stone Clearing at that point, you might say, but I was always planning to do this. And I must uphold that oath. However much I didn't mean it and had my fingers crossed. But thanks, Kat.

Once we'll be accompanying pictures, I will enjoy in my own time. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a great Christmas if I don't talk to you before. I'm sure we'll be back next week then. 130 days. Unbelievable. Enjoy your Stone Clearing. Stone Gods go with you from me and all the other Stone Cleaers.

Not Brian, Thingy, Gamble. Goodbye. We love you. To your underpants. Liffon to the stone. Liffon to the stone. And they, in turn, are Liffon to ye, my friend, my fine friend. Stone Clearing with Richard Herringstad, me, Richard Herring,

and Wolfie the Dog, plus my personal trainers, husband, and his dogs, and not John Noakes. The music is by Mike Coffgrave. The voice of the Fatones is Michael Faheen. Shep was there and patched, though. Don't forget them. Liffon to the stones, my friend, and they, foul thing ye, Mary does.

Don't Liffon to the birth and truth. Don't Liffon to your underpants. Liffon to the stone. Liffon to the stone. And they, in turn, foul Liffon to ye, my friend, my fine friend.