Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 136

Episode Date: March 25, 2023

Chapter #136: Burrowing Wolvef and the Daffodilf of Fpring. It's 8.15am on 25th March 2023 and the 2023 daily stone clearing podcasts continue. Fpring hath Fprung, but it only shows the ridiculously of petty organic material and how little we think of our mothers. Plus how to cope with the changing temperatures at different points of the year and why you mustn't (and Richard hasn't) put stones up your bottom.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Who has that bit of wood come from? Who put that over here? Is that you? Right, come on. Hello my fine friends. It's 8.15am on the 25th of March. A lot of people laugh when I said I was going to do a stone clearing episode every day of the year, but here we are. March the 25th, still going strong. It's chapter one, three, six. I want to say maybe seven. Just look at the rubric, it will tell you, and we're heading out this morning. It's cloudy for the sun coming through, it's definitely a spring day. I've got my North Face jacket on, North Face, the except all face of extremism.

There's a cat on Duckett's Passage. If you've seen it, she's on the lead. Luckily the cat's running away. There's another dog marking out the window. All is good. What was I saying? I don't know. It wasn't important. Anyway, here we are. It's a lovely spring day, and we're going to do some stone clearing again. I've been a bit unwell, as you'll know from listening to the last month's worth of stone clearing episodes, but it's still out here every day. Whoopie, stop tugging, your monster. Nearly over that illness now, but it's been a long old month, and there's still going to be some coughing. But at least I'm not in my coffin, right? Oh, there's some daffodils here at the, always a beautiful sign, just by the alphanomage. Whoopie, stop bloody tugging.

I'll take a picture of those daffodils for you. Will you stop tugging? They dropped my phone there. Got a little angry with the dog. I don't know if you noticed. Now you don't have to learn. Look at that beautiful, you can just see the alphanomage can in the background there. If you look at that picture, if that's one we use, then something else might happen. Whoopie, I'm going to let you off the lead, but you've been a bad girl. Come here, no chasing that cat, if that's what you're thinking of doing. This is a peaceful retreat animals with respect, apart from you. You get shouted at if you're naughty. Off you go. Right, let's find a bit of shrapnel for the, these are tiny, tiny stones I'm picking up here. Some people would leave these right to the end, but not me. I say get them all off.

Before you can cough, four or five stones off. They were, you know, together they were still the size of a small stone, but their count as a stone will be, I think it's on a wee. I had a diarrhea on the walk last night, so I might be, why she's so anxious to get out here, relieve her bowel. Oh, it's a bit too warm and the sun's directly in my face. This is one of the things you have to do. It's an intermediate thing really. Maybe wear a sort of poker visor, like the poker dealer would wear. When you come out the day like this, just to keep the sun out there, I especially can focus on the job in hand. I'm still, I'm pretty good. I can work around it and I've picked up three stones and a bit of stick, a bit of straw or something actually, accidentally. Back to basics, if it's organic,

if it's panic, if it's not truck, chop the twat. Always worth remembering, putting it on a t-shirt, wearing that t-shirt, then looking down at your t-shirt and reading it if you're tempted to take any organic off the field. No need, just anything non-organic. Metal, you might as well take it off. It's fun to take the metal off. It will rust away eventually. Stones are the name of the game, I have to say. There's a clue in the title. You should really be concentrating on the stones, but if there's plastic, glass or metal, you know, ancient artifacts, gold, coins, chuck them off the field, chuck them to the edge. And some nice stones here, having grown. Where do they come from? I don't know, but they're lying atop the field, as if they've always been here. It feels slightly in the way, but I'm dodging it.

Oh, there you caught that one. Oh, she nudged that one with her snap. Still ended up on there. It's a bit tight. Still ended up on the pile on the can that we were aiming for. Not sure if all is done appeal or not. It ran off. It looked like just a wee to me, but never know. If someone's chopped down a tree here, I think that was a tree that I had for carpenter pieces. And someone's taken down the whole bush here, like the hedgerow. There's so many things I could take photos of for you, but I won't. We've got the daffodils signifying the rebirth of the stones, and also just signifying how useless organic material is. When it comes, it dies, it grows again. The stones, they don't bother with all that. They just remain big stones.

If it gets really, really hot, they might melt, but then they'll become stones, other stones again. If you really heat up a daffodil, that daffodil is not coming back. No sir, no how. Really heat up a stone, get it molten lava. You think that's the end of that? No. There you can keep it at that heat forever by maybe putting it in the centre of the earth, or in the sun, the giant stone in the sky that will be there forever. Nevermore shall be so. What I'm saying is stones are better than daffodils, and yet we give daffodils to our mums on Mother's Day, not stones. Who are we? Who are we? What have we become? How have our priorities become so wrong? Is there anything more beautiful than a stone? No. I just answered that one straight away for you.

I didn't need to think about it. It's the curve of a woman's thigh. A woman with curvy thighs, is that as beautiful as a stone? No. And that thigh, oh she's pooing now, it's fine. Poo's going there, she's in the middle of the field, it's okay. You know how sorry it looks, it looks pretty solid. Yeah, that's not bad, we'll sort of... That's the poo update. So back to curvy women's thighs, that thigh will wrinkle, expand. Not just a woman's thigh, I don't think sex is a man's thigh, we'll do that as well. But I'm just the kind of person who doesn't think there's any. Even though a thigh on a man and a thigh on a woman are exactly the same thing. I cannot find a man's thigh attractive, it repulses me.

And I don't like women's thighs, I like stones as I said. And I wouldn't like just a thigh on its own, it has to be attached to a leg at least for me to get any enjoyment from it. Just clearing an already cleared stone, there's a nice pile of loose screed, nice sized stones that I've cleared in the past that have been revealed by some cutting back. And I just added another decent sized stone to the screed, even though it was already cleared. You can do that if you think you've got time. Some might think concrete and clear stones are actually on the field, then maybe you can do some tidying up at the end. But you have to choose, you have to choose your own way, your own path. And that's not just a literal path, I mean I'm on a path.

So it is a literal path, and you have to choose that path, but you also have to choose your path as a stone clear. We're getting onto some pretty philosophical and heavy stuff here now by this chapter 136 or 137. But believe me, in chapter 137 or 138, there's going to be even more amazing stuff to come, so do tune in tomorrow for that. And suddenly it's become a bit blustery and cold. It was much too hot a second ago, do you remember? And the sun was in my eyes, and the sun has gone away, and I wouldn't be in my eyes because I've turned bright. So there's a wind blowing, it's cold, and there's menacing clouds overhead suggesting that there is rain to come. It's found a nice stone wall, and I'm just throwing that into the roots of the trees. There's disappointingly few stones there still, we haven't actually given how long we've been doing this.

But one really nice big one, I probably remember the episode that that one ended up there. I can't remember these out of nowhere, so you'll know. I know a lot of you keep maps and extensive records of each stone cleared. Some of them you have to really be listening at, but I don't mention all of them. So I just kicked one there. Again, from the... If I'm on the beach, this is very much the way I kicked that from is very much the headland, but still not quite as far off the... Woovee! And there's a nice bit of burnt brick there. Again, it was already off the field, but I put it further off into the roots of the tree.

Woovee's trying to pick up... Woovee! Leave it! When they're off, they're off, woovee! We have to go to the staff. We're trying to rescue these stones, even though that was a bit of brick. Officially not, doesn't need to be cleared. A bit of burnt brick, can actually wonder what happened to whatever the building. Perhaps the windmill, perhaps the Roman villa. Always wants here.

Just putting out some... Flem there. Still a little bit ill, as I said, but much better than I have been. Oh, that was a lovely kick. Again, from the headland, properly onto the shore, into the roots of the many trees, lying this part of the... The stotion that one day will be toppled by the aerated stone. I just hope I'm here to see that day.

Right, no, Stone Stasi again. We're really missing out on the opposition. I think Covid did take a lot of those people away from us. The young, the fit ones. The beautiful women attracted by the quasi-fascistic organisation. They're still around. Perhaps they found younger lovers. Now that they're older lovers, they've died in the pandemic.

Yet here I still am. One ball down. A lot of stones up. Not up my bum. A lot of stones cleared is what I'm saying. I'm not saying I've filled my scrotum with stones or that I've put stones at my anus in an attempt to gain oneness with the field.

He says that is a liar. Don't be very sharp. Imagine cutting your anal passage and you had to go to hospital quite often. I would imagine. The doctors are looking very disapproving me if that happens. They're annoyed, especially on the third or fourth occasion.

You come back and say, why are you continuing playing with stones at your anus? Is it to fill one with the field? I don't know. I would go now. But they could see that I was lying. They would be able to see that I was lying. So don't do that.

You can find really ram ones. That's better. We're a long way from the shore now, but I'm going to try and get this stone closer. Wolfie's keen to chase it. It's bounced nicely along the path. Wolfie leaves that. That will be there for tomorrow.

Maybe two throws from freedom. Or just spotted something. It's a stone. Wolfie's brought that stone back and I threw. I'm going to pick that one up because I feel bad for it. It's only a tiny one. It's a very much a small large.

The other one I just saw and picked up. It's so good to get up. You'll probably hear the wind whistling in my headphones. Sorry about that. If that's disturbing your listening pleasure. As you can see, I'm a little bit unfit. Due to this lurgy that's laid me down, laid me low.

Apparently not caused by putting stones at your anus, though the doctors have said that that would not help. It said they would not cure the lurgy and might take it last longer. When I asked them, they said, what type of effect did you think about that? We're going to do a short walk today. Just a quick walk.

We're going to do a short walk today. Just a... As I try to regain fitness. Passing quite a lot of spots. This is traditionally the area where you would find a lot of good, chunky, medium stones. I'm not seeing a lot of stones, but not the ones that are going calling to me.

One side calling to me, Richard, Richard, pick me up. What accent is that? It's a good one. That's the biggest of the day. I mean, I think it might just stream to medium small. If I were a fisherman, I might throw it back. But I'm a fisher of stones,

not a fisher of fish or men. And when you fish for stones, every stone must be in your net, in your bulging net. Again, not my scrotum. If you find a way to carry stones in your scrotum, that is a way of getting extra ones up. Just picked up another slightly smaller,

maybe a smaller arch, I'd say. We're approaching the main can. Looking resplendent, not looking much bigger than it's looked for last year or so. I think gravity has taken its effect, pulling the can downwards. But it does stretch like a snake, like a dinosaur's head.

It's the Diplodocus we've talked about. Diplodocus head. And then as you look down the hill, you can see some of the spines of the Diplodocus or Diplodocus, whichever way you choose to go. Yesterday, as you'll remember from yesterday's podcast, I did rearrange some of these stones.

The fallen ones we've got back on top. So it's looking a bit better than it was. But still, given all the time we've been doing this, not hugely impressive. And there, the little stone that Wolfie brought back to me, maybe she knew what she was doing. She already had that stone off.

That's now on the main can. It would have been on the can, but Wolfie's brought it, and that's where it rests. On top of the can, there's a nice big piece of metal, just a long rectangular piece of metal, probably from the cloud at some point. There's some kind of farm machinery. In amongst the stones are the non-organic material,

and organic material is growing through them, but of course that will perish and die, like your Mother's Day flowers. Maybe your Mother's Day flowers are still sitting in a vase on the kitchen cabinet, but they're dying, aren't they? They were dying before you gave them to your mother, and now they're brittle and falling apart.

And soon they will go just in the bin or in their recycling. Maybe you've got a garden bin, maybe you put them in a food recycling. You can do that. They will just go down to so much mulch. I don't know what happens to that stuff. They're life meaningless. Yet the stones, the stones,

the stones, the stones. A little stone in the pathway here. I'm going to give that a kick. Wolf is excited. Oh, I kicked it, it rebounded back, just in a pair of parabola. Wolf is trying to pick it up. There really is no fucking help at all with stuff.

Well, I hope you've enjoyed. You might be getting sick of Stoneman's podcast. Look at that. Wow, look at that. Look at that, Wolfs. What creature's gone down there? That's better than some daffodils. I don't think I can do both, but I'm going to take a photo of this.

There's a massive fucking hole that had been dug by... I mean, what, a badger? Like some kind of... It's like an earth vagina. Becking me in, I mean, I can't. To be fair, it's too big for my... Over-large penis. It's the size of a dog could get down there.

What kind of animal is that? It looks like it's dug through to the other side of the world. Well, I don't know what to do now. I've got two pictures for you. Maybe we'll put them both up. Ah, here we go anyway. So yeah, it's good to be back from since yesterday. It's nice to let you around the field.

We haven't cleared a huge amount of material today, but we've done some. And some is more than none. And none is the least you can do. I mean, I suppose the least you do is come on with some stones and put them on the field. So none is, you know, it is better than that. But only just.

Right. Just picking up again a few tiny bits for the ditch that stopped Brexit. And every time I come here, I imagine the less we'd been if Brexit was still happening. And I'm thankful. Actually, you can, the ditch is filling up nicely there. That's one of the areas I can say we've really made a difference.

And just coming back to the Alfa and Omega can. Nice chart when I'm just kicked off into the end of it. The end of it. I mean, the ditch that stopped Brexit is very long. And I have concentrated on one area mainly. The ditch is still far from full. But excuse me. Oh, and there's a nice stone for the Alfa and Omega.

Literally not sold out here. What's going on? Another nice stone just on the pathway. That came down the Alfa and Omega. Again, small, small, really. I mean, not super small. Small, small, large. Small, medium, small. I know what you're thinking.

I know you're a magic. So we've seen some stuff. We've seen some daffodils, haven't we? Remember that? We've seen really, terrifyingly big. Like a wolf could go down that hole. It was a burrowing wolf.

Do they have burrowing wolves? Burrowing wolves. And the daffodils of spring. Reminding us of the pointless circle of life. That will be expired. It will be expunged. It will be snuffed out. Whilst the stones sit.

Hopefully just all around the edge of the field. Because I'll have done it by thought. Life is wiped out. Laughing. The stones will be laughing. Hee hee hee hee. That's it. Coming down to Duncan's passage.

Let's just have a quick look at the emails. Obviously, because I'm doing this daily. There's not so quite as many as when it's a weekly. Of course. Imagine just how weird it's going to be if I ever go back to weekly. I haven't awake that long. Here we go.

There's some doggies coming. I'm going to be quiet. Can't look at the emails. Good girl wolves. Good girl. Stay. Good girl. Stay.

Come on. Wolfie. Come here. Good girl. Stay here. Stay with me. Hi there. Stay here.

Good girl. Well done darling. Good girl. Come on. Come on. Good girl. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. So yeah. Just time for your emails. This is from traffic cone tree. Again,

you know, I know judgment about these names. People listen to this podcast all over the world. Hi Rich. Spring is on the way. Spring, I call it. Yeah,

that's true. You should call it spring. And the daffodils, daffodilf. Yeah, I like the doof. It's coming up. The daffodil,

one daffodil. Come on traffic cone. Any tips of how we should stone clay differently? Very hesitantly written, isn't it? You know, in spring as opposed to winter.

Yeah, it's a bit warmer. So you can probably get rid of your gloves, that sort of stuff. Dress with fewer clothes. The ground will be a bit more plight and giving the vagina of the earth

will open for you. So, if you're going to be going to the vagina of the earth, it will open for you with just the mirror's flick.

And, you know, the hard months of winter over traffic cone. So, you know what I'd say, enjoy that.

Enjoy yourself. This is the, this is prime time for stone clearing. But the differences are only fleeting. You still have to clear stones and that's still the name of the game. So that was useful for you now.

So, you can come right on back home. We'll see you tomorrow for another one of these. And, enjoy your stone clearing. Goodbye. Left and through the stone

Left and through the stone And they in turn Are left to you My friend My fine friend For tone clearing with Richard Herringstar,

me, Richard Herring, and Wolfie the dog. Plus, right at the end that stone-starzy lady with the two dogs, but that's hardly anything, isn't it? The music is by Mike Coffrave, the voice of the Photonist is Michael Faheen. The music is by Mike Coffrave, the voice of the Photonist is Michael Faheen.