Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 14
Episode Date: February 28, 2019Chapter 14 - Stone Jesus. It's about 7.50am on 28th February 2019, the sun shines through the mist and the ground is moist and it's time to find out what has been going on in the field this week. Rich...ard lays out of his fears of death, but his certain resurrection to eternal life and figurehead of a new religion, with a better wall than any of the others can boast. Along the way he is spied on by geese and a mysterious many dogged figure who chills Richard's stone heart, but gives him an excellent new tactic that will win you any game of chess. Today's size guide is the potato. Familiarise yourself with potatoes before the podcast or it will make little to no sense. Read more about stone clearing at http://richardherring.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Stone Clearing with Richard Herring
Alright Wolves, come here
Wolfie Wolves, come here
Wolfie Wolfie Wolves
Are you my little wolf?
Alright, I'm just going out
Bye
Remember whatever happens to me, I love you very much
Bye
Come on sweetheart, good girl
It's uh
Welcome to another episode of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring
It's um
At 7.50 on the
28th of February
Chat Wolves, there's a car coming
Always
It's always a sad and weird thing leaving the house
I'm aware that any Stone Clearing
Ah, I forgot my gloves
Right, it's bare-handed, it's Stone Clearing today
Um, I'm always aware that any
Stone Clearing John could be my last, I rate misleaders
Worrying about me disrupting what they see as the natural order
Also just people who have pissed off at me throwing stones at their
Fence and stuff
I'm well aware that I could be killed
Doing this on night walks obviously
There's a lot of danger
Um, but uh
I uh, I wanted to know that
I accept that danger
If I am killed out here, it's fine
Uh, I know that if they strike me down
A dozen of you will rise in my place
To Stone Clearing elsewhere
And that I will become
Like the Stone Clearing Jesus and that
I think is a fitting epitaph to my life
Plus, 3,000 years time I've wanted to be
Wished for me as a god and that
And they actually have some stuff I've said
That we have to listen to these podcasts
We go, actually, yeah, you know, we can't deny
He existed and be, well, as a genius
So, you know, we have to believe in him
So I'm happy to die, I know that
Genuinely, I'm not joking, none of this is a joke
And I'm not joking, I know that there are risks inherent in this
A dog could bite me, I could get rabies or something
So, you know, I could, I'm barehanded today
Could get cut by a stone, that turns to gangrene
All of these things, I'm gonna be a less noble way to die
But still, I think I would be the stone Jesus
And that's all I want from this
I don't want much out of this
I'm doing it for the other people's good
But I hope that one of the offshoots of it
Is that I become worshipped as a god
I mean, I don't think that's too much to ask for what I'm doing
So anyway, I nearly recorded a podcast
Yesterday evening, I was out here
And usually it's, oh, that's a good one
That's a good one
And that's, again, within a metre of the shoreline right
At the entrance of the field
Where I always, always pick up a stone I found
I mean, that is as big as a sort of medium-sized potato
And that's a good size
And no one can deny that
I'm gonna put that on the can by the bench
There's one long little tiddler I picked up there
Gommels
And, yeah, I was out here
I'm usually a little bit early
Just because of the way child care was working out and stuff
I came out at about 5pm
I wish I'd recorded it
Because it's sort of important
A lot of these are either at night
Or usually at this sort of time in the morning
Because I do my first walk of the day
And it's important to go out at a different time
So maybe I will do an evening one next week
Or maybe another night time one
Because I think you can hear those clicks there
That was a good lot of stones I found there
Just scouting around
Making sure I'm not being observed
And look here, for hawks, actual hawks
And other ducks and geese and stuff
Might be looking at me
No, that happens in a log dog for a long time
At 5.30 in the evening
The sun going down on the other side of the field
The light catches the stones at a different angle
Entirely
And you discover stones that you didn't know were there
As a result
So it's worth don't get into
Go get a wolf's wolf pooing right out in the field
That's fine
That's not my concern
Oh my goodness
It's just chuck a block with stones here
And anyone who wants to argue that the stones are not somehow growing out of the ground
Just come walk in my shoes and my Wellington boots
For just a few days because I was here yesterday
There were definitely stones here today that were not there yesterday
I mean just so many
When am I ever going to get to the middle of this field?
Well, I'm looking forward to the plowing as I said
Look again, I have a really big stone here
I'm going to just get out my
Oh, I've got it
I might not have got my
It's in the other pocket
I'm going to get out my trowel here
Because this is a beauty
Another medium sized potato
Size stone
Again, that one inches from the shore
So explain that to me science
Where did that come from?
Just out of the ground?
No, it grew somehow
We don't know all the answers about the stone gods yet
But we're certainly getting some kind of perspective on there
Some more geese honking as they fly by on their journey
I don't know, are they coming back or are they landing?
They're landing there, that was quite exciting
At some distance I don't know what they're landing on
So yeah, so come out at different times
The sun is now on the opposite side of the field
To where it was last night, which is weird
Explain that science again
Another one for science to try and work out
But there's a heavy mist
So I can almost stare directly at the sun
Don't do that generally speaking
But I've experienced something who knows where he can
So the sun, of course, another giant stone
Waiting to be cleared, as I understand it
So it's a misty morning
Yes, it was a beautiful evening
It just would have had fun coming out with me
With the nature, as much as the stones
And that one goes into the deep grass
By another fence there
Probably hear the geese honking in the distance
So approaching the bottom corner of the field
I'm just walking my way out a little bit into the station here
There's nobody around to see me
And there's always a few nice surprises out here
This is the second part of the field
Yeah, that's the biggest of the day
I told you, didn't I?
That one's the size of a really big medium-sized potato
If you could imagine that
I'm sort of going on the potato index today
Again, that's slightly smaller medium potato
There's the third one
Obviously, it depends on what you imagine
A medium-sized potato
What size that is
You might be imagining the wrong size
But that's not my fault, is it?
If you can't imagine a medium-sized potato properly
So hopefully most of you are getting where we're at
I just picked up three big ones
I'm passing a lot of stones as I go through here
I'll just go for that one for some reason
Maybe this one
And then these are going on a decent-sized can
Just in the bottom corner as we go up
I feel like...
Well, I haven't been anchoring as much for various reasons
I think I'm enjoying anchoring a lot more
I feel like I haven't been to this corner so much
But that's not true
I understand how it feels like that
It's hard to understand, isn't it?
It's another nice-sized stone
That's a small potato
I mean, not like a new potato
I mean, I think you'd all know what a new potato was
But of an old potato, that's a smallish potato
So when we trot
It's going to kick a couple of stones from the headland
Into the bushes there
Again, remember, not every stone has to form a wall
Your job is to get the stones off the field
That's the first thing to remember
The first rule of stone clearing is there is no...
There are no rules to start the stone clearing, of course
But you must just get the stones off
That's obviously one of the rules
When they say there are no rules
They're not including the obvious rules
Which there are quite a few
Nobody gets an email to tell me what all my rules are
Annoying
It's almost like no one's listening to this
And can't revolve into this and back to them all
What kind of stone clearing fanatics are you?
Is my question
I mean, I'm not going to listen back to them
That would be nuts
And that one, oh!
Trying to get that in the roots of the tree
It bounced down beyond
Down towards the path
But on the side of the field
That's fine, again, it's off the field
Obviously
There are some actual human laws
About removing things from fields
It feels ethically wrong
To take the stones away from the field
But if one is thrown and goes into another property
That is its choice
It has made that decision
That it wants to bounce that far
And the stones will have their way
We all know that
But is it ethically right for a man like me to
Oh, this is a beauty
Oh, yes, that's the biggest of the day
That's the size of
It's not the biggest potato you've ever seen
But certainly if you have that on your plate
You go, wow, that's a big,
Big, unsightly, weird shaped potato
It's almost like a brick really
But it is made of flint
It's sort of squarish
Or flat on the top of the bottom
Good size, and that goes on my
Probably second biggest can
The one opposite the main can
Yesterday I took the trip across the field
Which is why the main can is so big
Because I would go across the field there
Pick up 20, 30 stones sometimes
And put them on the main can
And that's why the main can is so much bigger than the others
I don't do that so much now
Because I tend to go around the outside too
And the controversial part of the field
Don't need to tell you about that
But let me tell you there was no
Danger of the stones around the edge of the field drying up
Those two there going off the little ones
New potatoes really going on their nest
And, yeah, so that path is not so well trodden now
And that's why
I mean, it's good in a way
I'm worried about people with the main can
Drawing too much attention to what I'm doing
It certainly is a noticeable feature of the field now
Whereas many of these other little nests and can
Are almost anonymous at the moment
And can choose to grow slowly
Almost imperceptibly
So someone will just notice in 30 years
How many there's a wall there
Was there always a wall here?
They won't know because, of course
It's just grown up brick by brick over the 30 years
But I feel confident I have
There may be more than that to come
Hopefully medical advances will mean
I can live longer
And still be in stone clearing shape
But I think there's 30 good years
I'll be 82
And then maybe I'll start to consider
Hanging up my stone clearing fingers
Yeah, thick with dirt at the moment
Obviously because I've come out without gloves
Danger has been cut, gangrene, death
But knowing that you few supporters now
Will grow in number, will spread the word
Of what I've been doing
And hopefully create a situation where people are
Killing each other over the stones
Where have I put that?
Have I lost my trowel?
That would be crazy, I think I might have done
Well, maybe it's good
Oh, one of my stone clearing drafters is in my pocket
Maybe the other one is too
Well, very strange, so I think I have lost my trowel
Maybe I'll find it again on another jaunt
But I have found a stone clearing glove
Almost as if...
I was pretty sure I left those at home
It's almost as if...
Yeah, the other one's not here
It's almost as if that magic in my pocket for a moment
Has the stone gods
Grateful for my service, my understanding
Has protected my hand
Worrying that I would die too soon, if gangrene
Coming up to the tree where I like to just
Cash your trowel stones
And there's a massive stone here
Just on the periphery of the field that
Must have rolled down or up from somewhere
It's pretty clean
Of course, the weather will move the stones as well
But yeah, I've lost my trowel
And it was here earlier
I'll look for it my next time to turn around
Or maybe in the future another stone clear
We'll find it, it's not organic
It will be thrown
Maybe the twat will be chucked
With no regard for what it is
It's a shame because there's a good one there
That I could prize out with a trowel if I had one
It was a broken anyway to be honest
So that dog walker has gone a different way
Maybe coming up the path beside me though
Is always just have to watch out for that
Sneaky, the stone stars are everywhere
Do not assume your safety because you can't see
The people, the birds or the log dogs
That are probably watching you
Noting what you're doing
Always be ready, so
And just clearing up
A few tiddlers in there
That one looks like a large spearhead
Or a shoe that is medium sized
To a large ventracous dolly
I don't know if I'm a quick assessor of ventracous dolls
Dummy, that's what I wanted to say
Yeah, I mean again just up here
So many stones
It's
Slightly scary
If you're scared of stones
If you were a stonephobe
Which people aren't
Luckily the ground today is
Quite pliant
So it doesn't matter that I don't have a trowel
Last night I noticed
Even though it's February still
The ground was baked
Almost like a
African village
The stones were hard to get out then
My friend, I can tell you
That's one of the main worries
About global warming
Just trying to pick another stone out here while my dog
Flicks my face
She doesn't always understand what's going on
Very self-centered my dog
Thinks everything's about her
Which is sad, it's not
It's about me being the new Jesus
Stone Jesus
I'm not saying I am Jesus
I'm saying I'm the stone Jesus
It's a different thing
And the rules or commandments
There are no rules
There are no commandments
But I'm done to others as though
Would just be done by
And throw stones
They would want their stones thrown off
So do that
I'm a breath
I'm actually getting fairly fit
At the moment
Stone clearing is a different kind of work out
Than anyone would get in a gym
And much more intense
There's the fear
Of course as well in discovery
We're actually talking of which
Right in the other corner of the field
I see three or four dogs now
I might get to this corner
Be able to do a little bit of work here
Catch me
All the time you're hoping here
In the click and the clack of the stones
Going back
I'm just picking up
One up every ten or twenty yards
Sometimes two or three
I'm just looking at this ground here
And there is a lot of work to do
To be done
I have been
Shirking a little
I think it's been good
For
The way I view stone clearing
But it's not as good
As a fishing way of getting the stones
Off the field
But also
I think there's been some rain
The piles of stone look very clean
They're very noticeable
Maybe it's just the
The dawn light
Particularly picks them up
But I can see both
At this corner
Both the pile I've been making for some while
And the wall
I've been building on top of
There is some significant
New stones there
Of course from the next door field
Which some of you
Ian
Soil
He emailed in
To say how cross he was about that
I remember
I remember his name because it was something way down
But here we are at that wall
And here we are at that next field
And I think I will just
Just grab one or two of these boys
There's a big one there that's all off the field
But I'm moving on to my walls
And
Whatever Ian Soil says
Oh
I've got to do with
Travel for that one
Someone's seen me
I've got to make a beastie
A hasty retreat
There's someone with a person
Just as I've warned myself
Coming up
The side and actually now
We'll be
A man with many many
I like about 20 dogs coming
I'm going to get more people on the lead
There's a lot of dogs coming here
I'll throw one stone from a distance
Oh that was a bad throw
Come on Wolfie
Come on Wolfie
What's going on
Is that Michael?
Why is he suddenly got
There's a pack of dogs there
This makes me feel like
This could be it, am I about to be hunted down
He's turning around going the other direction
He sees that I've spotted him
I mean it was stupid of him really
Because he's surrounded by
Literally 10 dogs I would say
All Labradors
When he's knit through the next
Where he's been spotted
And he's literally trying to hide
It's ridiculous
He was right out in the open
Maybe he's another stone clearer
I hope not, this is my field
As you should know
I've clearly urinated on the main cans
That was weird
You have to admit
That was weird
Why would there be a man with so many dogs
Why would that man
Suddenly disappear into a hedge
When he suspected
That he'd been seen
Well
I would hate this to be a
Pathetic
Podcast
That might not even ever get heard
The thing is I could be taken out
Of that guy
To try and stop him from becoming the new Jesus
But I hope that even if that happens
And you never hear this
That you will somehow get a message
Through the scones
I think you'd work it out yourself
If I'd been literally killed
Doing this
I would hope you would be intelligent enough
And faithful enough in me
To just make me the new Jesus anyway
But it does help if you're Jesus
Just to point you in the right direction a bit
So yeah, I am Jesus
Jesus on the stone Jesus is different
Better if anything
Because at least I'm achieving something
Where's Jesus' wall
Think about that
Where is it? It doesn't exist
Not when he built himself
If anything
The main wall I can think of
Jesus is not going to do with him
So
If you want to follow one of the other religions
Do whatever one that is
The wall one
But don't do those ones
Because they're not real, do this one
Because this is proof
I've left behind some messages
And also hopefully you're hearing this
If you're not
Hopefully you've worked out yourself
Anyway, I'd seem to be safe
I'm right in the middle of the field
But I do want to look
For instance like Labrador's
There could be
Some kind of giant rat
He's right in the far corner there
You might have made bumping to him
As we go down
I've picked up four stones as I've walked across the field
They're not too many
But it's again
It's quality not quantity
And also it's just getting the stones off the field
Not quality
Let's go
He's heading that way
I'm going to bump right into him
Although are they going off the field there
They are, that's good
I do have a clear run of the field today
I might just go down the other diagonal
Oh yeah, actually he's still in the field
So this is a good move
In the game of chess
That is so inspiring
It's as much a game of tactics as anything else
I played that brilliantly
We just waited for him to reveal his hand
And then bang
I head off in a different direction
Unless he's like the other
That other man who changed his move as he saw me
He was a fine player actually
He can't really come back now
They are dogs
They are rats
I've just seen them a bit closer up
They're definitely dogs
I mean it would have been strange if they'd been giant rats
I don't know why that was the
Place I came to
The colour of brown, genuinely speaking
But I've never seen a rat
Anywhere near approaching the size of a large dog
Something just
A bit of paranoia there
For once
So yeah, heading across this large diagonal
First time for a while, don't worry
We'll still be past the stone pole
That's always going to be a part of this podcast
As long as I hit them alive
I'll go by that bit
If I'm doing a special somewhere
But even then I'll try and do it
So heading down diagonal
Just picking up a few loose
Got stones as I go
Discourse the point very early on
In the podcast history
It might not be my new day
I wasn't actually podcasted
But I saw some rambas coming
And dumped a good deposit of stones
I never found again
So some of these stones I picked up now
Don't really matter
So I've got five or six in my hand now
Heading to a much neglected can
With ease
When you follow the diagonal
For those of you
Having a mental map
Obviously the last couple have gone round the edge
But the chest
Move from the guy with the load of dogs
Which is always a good
In a game of chess have a lot of dogs
Because it does intimidate the other players
They think if they make the wrong move
The dogs could attack them
I'm surprised more actual chess players
Don't use that
Out here
It's a more complicated game than chess
If anything it's more like the maze
At the end of the adventure game thing
From the 70's and 80's
Because death is
A genuine possibility
Of course in chess rarely does
One of the players kill one or the other
Again that is a good tactic
If you're losing
I'm not advocating murder
But if you really want to win a game of chess
Have a gun
Or a pack of dogs
Some other actual weapon
Because the chess pieces
Are actually
The power that you give them
Is meaningless isn't it
They're just little bits of stone
Ivory and stuff
So plastic probably
Doesn't make you hard
Having a piece of plastic in the chamber of a king
Having a stone that's a real thing
Being out on the field with actual dogs
That is a real dangerous thing
So just looking to
Vangloriously pick up one more stone
Oh I've done it
But I did drop one of my others
It's always a risk but I picked that up too
So I managed to get
Four, nearly ten stones
From that jaunt across
From the centre of the field
And they're going well actually
In this corner
Given how little I've been here
And the porst of your stones in this particular area
Although there are often a lot
On the
As you head across the field
Those are falling quite randomly
But I'm happy with that because
They're more turning into a wall
Than a pile
Right so
Voided direct contact
With dog walkers so far
I haven't had to talk to any of them which is good
I don't like to have to put on that false front
And
Yeah actually heading past
The place where I usually have got quite philosophical
I suppose the chess tactics was
A philosophy of kind
If you do play chess do try some of those tactics
You can learn a lot
From stone things about other
Pastimes of sports
This obviously those are
Pastimes where I thought this is a job
But that's often games
Are a way of practicing
Something more serious
So by playing chess
Even that's inferior to this game of chess
Maybe you will learn some tactics
That you can employ
In this real life situation
Lots of dogs though I think
Is really what I'm saying
Just a lot of dogs, more dogs
And if you think
You might come with a lot of dogs
Bring more dogs than you think they'll have
Then you've got a chess room
Full of dogs snapping each other
You don't feed the dogs
For a couple of days before the tournament
Believe you me now
I was going to be talking about your
Zugwang or whatever it's called
No one's ever going to be talking about you castling
Are they? They're going to be going
The fuck that came in with a lot of
Hungry ravenous dogs
And just along here
I'm kicking a few stones off the path really
I'm just going to pick up two or three
For the
For the stone pole
But I do want to put some
At least one on this
The cairn that's obviously
You come in the other path you know what I'm talking about
I don't think you'll explain the geography of this field
To you anymore
Oh when I drop that one
That one's definitely going on there
This cairn that doesn't seem to grow
However many stones I've got on it
Someone's done a
Let a dog do a poo on that cairn
And that just infuriates me
That's the kind of passive aggressive thing
I have to put up with, they haven't killed me yet
But that's definitely the bird just going
Hey we know what you're doing
And we don't like it
This is your first warning a dog poo
And then there'll be ten dogs and so on and so forth
I've got three
They're only little
Makes my job a lot harder
Oh that was close
First go
Second go I mean I nipped the cairn
Does that count
But that one definitely counts for Wolfie
You heard that didn't you
That was bang on so third time as a charm
I hope you cheered please do cheer that point
Wherever you are
In your life whatever you're doing
Even if you listen to this stone cairn podcast at the funeral
Which I hope some of you are
Hopefully the funeral of someone who tried to stop stone cairn
Clearing stones but
Let's not get into that kind of
Unpleasant talk
Do cheer always go
Hey just do that for your little cheer
People will
Follow stone cairn
We'll know who you are
You're on a cheap powdery
I know what you're doing mate
A little wink
There's another member
Of the church of the stones
Always ready just biding our time
That is really what we're doing out here
Isn't it biding our time
Trying to create something
Beautiful
Make our lives have meaning
Leave a legacy
Become the stone Jesus
I mean that's all we're trying to do
We are
The best people
Thank you for listening
I haven't finished I'm just saying I'm just thanking you
Of course coming up to the main cairn now
I did add
A good yesterday afternoon
I added 13 good stones to this
Which
You know if we did that every day
We would have quite the pile
And we did have quite the pile here really
I'm going to put these up
Three smallish stones here
In potato terms
I mean
One is like a chip
One is like a really big chunky chip
One of them is
I mean it's not really like potato but
It would be
A small roast potato
You can picture that
I mean that looks a bit weird something's happened here
Is that just me
Maybe that's just me
I haven't come from this angle for a little while
So to speak
No I think that's me I've just been trying
To elongate it it is looking nice out here
I'm just admiring my handiwork
We just pop
Out into the field a little bit to see if we could find
A couple more bees to put on this one
This part has not been that well trodden recently
And of course
New stones have grown in the interim
For me to pluck
I said pluck
Anyone who does anything of that kind with the stones
I do not approve of
That is against nature
Literally against nature
But
It's unnatural
To see the stones in that way
Even if you create like a human form out of stones
Still wrong
And you know
Real danger especially with this flint
Of a proper injury
Which I know some of you like
But that's not my bag
Having sections stones is not
I like having sections with
Toothless old women and I don't like doing that
That's just better
That's all better than what you're thinking
Oh
I wish I had my trail but
My bare fingers have done that
That's maybe not the biggest of the day actually
I thought it was going to be but it's certainly up there
The top two of the day
That one I'm going to put on the separate
Can as we head down
Just a couple
Of little tiddlers there
Right heading back to the can
I picked up two little ones
Four
Three medium sized ones
And that big one
I'm going to put this
Over the big one on the main can
Just trying to extend the wall down
I'm not trying to build it up
I'm just trying to get a concept
Of how far we can take this thing
And then
The big one will go on the next can down
I hope to connect up with maybe in five
To ten years time
Oops, dropped at court
That's brilliantly played by
Just trying to kick one
Or if you're getting in the way a bit
I'm trying to kick that one onto the pile
So all of those just going
Just beside the can really
Not on it
But starting to create
A wall going down the hill
Pretty good there
It's looking pretty good my friends
I must take some more pictures
Of course of some of these to keep you up to date
Things have moved on a little
Not as much as I could have done
If I had been a bit more dedicated
Not been taking my dog
Up the hill in the opposite direction
Away from the field
Well there, a dog's been digging
Someone's been training the dog to dig for stones
And that's admirable but it's right on the path
So dangerous
Might as well pick up one stone from the path
Which will go on this nice can
And there we go, that one's coming along
Alright, because a lot of big ones are going on there
So I'm sort of saving up my biggest one
From the field to put on there
And so day by day
One or two stones on there
It is turning into a mini
It's more of a can than a nest now
Do I go back and try and find my trail?
I don't think so, I think we'll wait
For another day
See where that one popped down
Got a good idea where it popped out of my pocket
I'm heading down the hill
Again, generally speaking
Slim pickings down here
What's that?
It's a leaf
What's that though?
That's three little tiny, they're not even new potatoes
They're not even chips
But I'll take five of those to chuck in
And there's an as a reward for my
Hold on
Using my fingers as a trowel
Checking the one down here
A good medium sized stone that I'll put on the
Can at the end
For the beginning
Half a omega
Half a omega pile
So yeah, I'm actually going to throw
Five little pebbles into the ditch today
Which should really
Stop anything bad happening in the world
For a good long time
Using just one suffices
Hopefully this can sort out Brexit this throw
Here it comes
If Brexit is negotiated and sorted out
It's all down to that, so don't need to thank me
Some people will claim it's nothing to do with me
Others will say why you're not obeying the stones
Actually, just as we get down to the bottom here
There are a few more options
Stone wise
I'll chuck a couple of little ones
Into the ditch a bit further along
Hope that doesn't counter-track
What I did before
I'll take these two
I mean, these are just nice sized potatoes
Medium sized potatoes to end on
To go on the opening can
They didn't get anything, I did throw one towards it
As we arrived, but I don't think it went on
So, hope you enjoyed today
Just grab one more stone there, we'll be able to see it by the
Oops, don't run away
Oh, you've been on the lead all the way, haven't you?
It's their ages, I don't think they'll let me off the lead
I should have used all those ten dogs
Sorry, whoops
I've been concentrating on stones
Tennis ball's still there, someone's saying I should take the tennis ball off
But you know, is it my job to clear
None
I mean, organic material from
The edge of a field to somewhere else
No, that's not my job, mate
Can't remember your name, it was probably
Simon compost heap
But yeah, here we are
Slight dirt on my coat
Which is always a good sign
Lots of dirt on my fingers, which is a good sign
Obviously a danger of
Bit of discovery though as well
As people spot who I am
Work out
That probably the bloke doing all those stuff
The dirty-fingered one
All over his coat
But it's been a good day
That was just a little jump round
I hope you picked up some pearls of wisdom there
I mean, mainly I think I've just helped
People who play chess probably
I'd be interested to see out if any of those
If you do play chess, try those tactics
Let me know how they work out for you
Um
Some would say the real winners of chess
Are those who don't play it
Don't waste their time playing chess
I mean, imagine what you could be doing
What's the point of moving little stones around a board
When you could be moving them around
Of actual stones
Representing nothing
Moved around a field a bit
I mean, who's
Who's using their time
In the most productive way
It's a
It's a rhetorical question
The answer is it's me
Clearly
In case you were confused
So
Homeward ban now back to my wife
Luckily this time
I get to see her again
I'll kiss her on the lips if she's there
I'll do this
I'll do this
I'll kiss her on the lips
She won't know what's going on
Which is romantic
Only when I am finally
Doing this will she appreciate
And love me I think for what
Love me even more because she loves me
She's my wife
And I look forward to that day
When I'm dead
And she appreciates
What I'm doing and realises
I wasn't just someone who didn't do anything around the house
I wasn't doing any stuff around the house
Because I was doing something important
Anyway, we're back now
Wolfie
Time for breakfast
Do keep those emails coming in
Brian Glove
Brian Glove, not Brian Glove
Brian Glove
He can be Brian Glove because he's not around anymore
He
Got in touch
To say my favourite bit in this podcast
Is the emails that you get
So that's nice
There are a lot of people listening
Who are getting a lot of emails
I can't read them all out
Simon Recycling
All men today
He's been in touch
To
To say
Why is it mainly men that email in
Well I'd say to that Simon
Don't email in if you're a man
Email in if you're a woman
And Brenda Dogtow
She
I didn't say I'm a woman
So what's
Simon
What was it
Recycling
I just had to check the email to find out his name
I don't know how she knew
What his email was
Maybe CC
Maybe there's something going on between those two
And they're just challenging each other
To email in
To try to read out
Those are just some of the
The ones that I did
Leander
Sink
Said
I'm a woman as well
What's going on
Yeah it's probably
50-50 men and women really
So don't worry about that
If you're worried about the email situation
If you
There are rules that are not rules
Getting such
And do keep on enjoying
Your
Stone Clearing Yourself
You're getting on I'm not interested
Thanks for listening
See you next time
Bye
Stone Clearing with Richard Chang
Stard me with Chang and Wolfie the dog
It's also featuring the man with 10 dogs
What's going on and what's his story
We'll turn up again in future episodes
As my nemesis
Thank you to Mike Cosgrove for writing this beautiful music
And thank you to the voice of the photons
Michael Faheen