Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 14

Episode Date: February 28, 2019

Chapter 14 - Stone Jesus. It's about 7.50am on 28th February 2019, the sun shines through the mist and the ground is moist and it's time to find out what has been going on in the field this week. Rich...ard lays out of his fears of death, but his certain resurrection to eternal life and figurehead of a new religion, with a better wall than any of the others can boast. Along the way he is spied on by geese and a mysterious many dogged figure who chills Richard's stone heart, but gives him an excellent new tactic that will win you any game of chess. Today's size guide is the potato. Familiarise yourself with potatoes before the podcast or it will make little to no sense. Read more about stone clearing at http://richardherring.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Alright Wolves, come here Wolfie Wolves, come here Wolfie Wolfie Wolves Are you my little wolf? Alright, I'm just going out Bye Remember whatever happens to me, I love you very much
Starting point is 00:00:51 Bye Come on sweetheart, good girl It's uh Welcome to another episode of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring It's um At 7.50 on the 28th of February Chat Wolves, there's a car coming
Starting point is 00:01:09 Always It's always a sad and weird thing leaving the house I'm aware that any Stone Clearing Ah, I forgot my gloves Right, it's bare-handed, it's Stone Clearing today Um, I'm always aware that any Stone Clearing John could be my last, I rate misleaders Worrying about me disrupting what they see as the natural order
Starting point is 00:01:33 Also just people who have pissed off at me throwing stones at their Fence and stuff I'm well aware that I could be killed Doing this on night walks obviously There's a lot of danger Um, but uh I uh, I wanted to know that I accept that danger
Starting point is 00:01:56 If I am killed out here, it's fine Uh, I know that if they strike me down A dozen of you will rise in my place To Stone Clearing elsewhere And that I will become Like the Stone Clearing Jesus and that I think is a fitting epitaph to my life Plus, 3,000 years time I've wanted to be
Starting point is 00:02:14 Wished for me as a god and that And they actually have some stuff I've said That we have to listen to these podcasts We go, actually, yeah, you know, we can't deny He existed and be, well, as a genius So, you know, we have to believe in him So I'm happy to die, I know that Genuinely, I'm not joking, none of this is a joke
Starting point is 00:02:32 And I'm not joking, I know that there are risks inherent in this A dog could bite me, I could get rabies or something So, you know, I could, I'm barehanded today Could get cut by a stone, that turns to gangrene All of these things, I'm gonna be a less noble way to die But still, I think I would be the stone Jesus And that's all I want from this I don't want much out of this
Starting point is 00:02:56 I'm doing it for the other people's good But I hope that one of the offshoots of it Is that I become worshipped as a god I mean, I don't think that's too much to ask for what I'm doing So anyway, I nearly recorded a podcast Yesterday evening, I was out here And usually it's, oh, that's a good one That's a good one
Starting point is 00:03:17 And that's, again, within a metre of the shoreline right At the entrance of the field Where I always, always pick up a stone I found I mean, that is as big as a sort of medium-sized potato And that's a good size And no one can deny that I'm gonna put that on the can by the bench There's one long little tiddler I picked up there
Starting point is 00:03:43 Gommels And, yeah, I was out here I'm usually a little bit early Just because of the way child care was working out and stuff I came out at about 5pm I wish I'd recorded it Because it's sort of important A lot of these are either at night
Starting point is 00:04:01 Or usually at this sort of time in the morning Because I do my first walk of the day And it's important to go out at a different time So maybe I will do an evening one next week Or maybe another night time one Because I think you can hear those clicks there That was a good lot of stones I found there Just scouting around
Starting point is 00:04:23 Making sure I'm not being observed And look here, for hawks, actual hawks And other ducks and geese and stuff Might be looking at me No, that happens in a log dog for a long time At 5.30 in the evening The sun going down on the other side of the field The light catches the stones at a different angle
Starting point is 00:04:43 Entirely And you discover stones that you didn't know were there As a result So it's worth don't get into Go get a wolf's wolf pooing right out in the field That's fine That's not my concern Oh my goodness
Starting point is 00:05:02 It's just chuck a block with stones here And anyone who wants to argue that the stones are not somehow growing out of the ground Just come walk in my shoes and my Wellington boots For just a few days because I was here yesterday There were definitely stones here today that were not there yesterday I mean just so many When am I ever going to get to the middle of this field? Well, I'm looking forward to the plowing as I said
Starting point is 00:05:30 Look again, I have a really big stone here I'm going to just get out my Oh, I've got it I might not have got my It's in the other pocket I'm going to get out my trowel here Because this is a beauty Another medium sized potato
Starting point is 00:05:47 Size stone Again, that one inches from the shore So explain that to me science Where did that come from? Just out of the ground? No, it grew somehow We don't know all the answers about the stone gods yet But we're certainly getting some kind of perspective on there
Starting point is 00:06:06 Some more geese honking as they fly by on their journey I don't know, are they coming back or are they landing? They're landing there, that was quite exciting At some distance I don't know what they're landing on So yeah, so come out at different times The sun is now on the opposite side of the field To where it was last night, which is weird Explain that science again
Starting point is 00:06:29 Another one for science to try and work out But there's a heavy mist So I can almost stare directly at the sun Don't do that generally speaking But I've experienced something who knows where he can So the sun, of course, another giant stone Waiting to be cleared, as I understand it So it's a misty morning
Starting point is 00:06:52 Yes, it was a beautiful evening It just would have had fun coming out with me With the nature, as much as the stones And that one goes into the deep grass By another fence there Probably hear the geese honking in the distance So approaching the bottom corner of the field I'm just walking my way out a little bit into the station here
Starting point is 00:07:24 There's nobody around to see me And there's always a few nice surprises out here This is the second part of the field Yeah, that's the biggest of the day I told you, didn't I? That one's the size of a really big medium-sized potato If you could imagine that I'm sort of going on the potato index today
Starting point is 00:07:50 Again, that's slightly smaller medium potato There's the third one Obviously, it depends on what you imagine A medium-sized potato What size that is You might be imagining the wrong size But that's not my fault, is it? If you can't imagine a medium-sized potato properly
Starting point is 00:08:10 So hopefully most of you are getting where we're at I just picked up three big ones I'm passing a lot of stones as I go through here I'll just go for that one for some reason Maybe this one And then these are going on a decent-sized can Just in the bottom corner as we go up I feel like...
Starting point is 00:08:35 Well, I haven't been anchoring as much for various reasons I think I'm enjoying anchoring a lot more I feel like I haven't been to this corner so much But that's not true I understand how it feels like that It's hard to understand, isn't it? It's another nice-sized stone That's a small potato
Starting point is 00:08:57 I mean, not like a new potato I mean, I think you'd all know what a new potato was But of an old potato, that's a smallish potato So when we trot It's going to kick a couple of stones from the headland Into the bushes there Again, remember, not every stone has to form a wall Your job is to get the stones off the field
Starting point is 00:09:21 That's the first thing to remember The first rule of stone clearing is there is no... There are no rules to start the stone clearing, of course But you must just get the stones off That's obviously one of the rules When they say there are no rules They're not including the obvious rules Which there are quite a few
Starting point is 00:09:46 Nobody gets an email to tell me what all my rules are Annoying It's almost like no one's listening to this And can't revolve into this and back to them all What kind of stone clearing fanatics are you? Is my question I mean, I'm not going to listen back to them That would be nuts
Starting point is 00:10:01 And that one, oh! Trying to get that in the roots of the tree It bounced down beyond Down towards the path But on the side of the field That's fine, again, it's off the field Obviously There are some actual human laws
Starting point is 00:10:19 About removing things from fields It feels ethically wrong To take the stones away from the field But if one is thrown and goes into another property That is its choice It has made that decision That it wants to bounce that far And the stones will have their way
Starting point is 00:10:37 We all know that But is it ethically right for a man like me to Oh, this is a beauty Oh, yes, that's the biggest of the day That's the size of It's not the biggest potato you've ever seen But certainly if you have that on your plate You go, wow, that's a big,
Starting point is 00:10:58 Big, unsightly, weird shaped potato It's almost like a brick really But it is made of flint It's sort of squarish Or flat on the top of the bottom Good size, and that goes on my Probably second biggest can The one opposite the main can
Starting point is 00:11:17 Yesterday I took the trip across the field Which is why the main can is so big Because I would go across the field there Pick up 20, 30 stones sometimes And put them on the main can And that's why the main can is so much bigger than the others I don't do that so much now Because I tend to go around the outside too
Starting point is 00:11:36 And the controversial part of the field Don't need to tell you about that But let me tell you there was no Danger of the stones around the edge of the field drying up Those two there going off the little ones New potatoes really going on their nest And, yeah, so that path is not so well trodden now And that's why
Starting point is 00:12:05 I mean, it's good in a way I'm worried about people with the main can Drawing too much attention to what I'm doing It certainly is a noticeable feature of the field now Whereas many of these other little nests and can Are almost anonymous at the moment And can choose to grow slowly Almost imperceptibly
Starting point is 00:12:28 So someone will just notice in 30 years How many there's a wall there Was there always a wall here? They won't know because, of course It's just grown up brick by brick over the 30 years But I feel confident I have There may be more than that to come Hopefully medical advances will mean
Starting point is 00:12:46 I can live longer And still be in stone clearing shape But I think there's 30 good years I'll be 82 And then maybe I'll start to consider Hanging up my stone clearing fingers Yeah, thick with dirt at the moment Obviously because I've come out without gloves
Starting point is 00:13:07 Danger has been cut, gangrene, death But knowing that you few supporters now Will grow in number, will spread the word Of what I've been doing And hopefully create a situation where people are Killing each other over the stones Where have I put that? Have I lost my trowel?
Starting point is 00:13:31 That would be crazy, I think I might have done Well, maybe it's good Oh, one of my stone clearing drafters is in my pocket Maybe the other one is too Well, very strange, so I think I have lost my trowel Maybe I'll find it again on another jaunt But I have found a stone clearing glove Almost as if...
Starting point is 00:13:57 I was pretty sure I left those at home It's almost as if... Yeah, the other one's not here It's almost as if that magic in my pocket for a moment Has the stone gods Grateful for my service, my understanding Has protected my hand Worrying that I would die too soon, if gangrene
Starting point is 00:14:22 Coming up to the tree where I like to just Cash your trowel stones And there's a massive stone here Just on the periphery of the field that Must have rolled down or up from somewhere It's pretty clean Of course, the weather will move the stones as well But yeah, I've lost my trowel
Starting point is 00:14:38 And it was here earlier I'll look for it my next time to turn around Or maybe in the future another stone clear We'll find it, it's not organic It will be thrown Maybe the twat will be chucked With no regard for what it is It's a shame because there's a good one there
Starting point is 00:14:54 That I could prize out with a trowel if I had one It was a broken anyway to be honest So that dog walker has gone a different way Maybe coming up the path beside me though Is always just have to watch out for that Sneaky, the stone stars are everywhere Do not assume your safety because you can't see The people, the birds or the log dogs
Starting point is 00:15:15 That are probably watching you Noting what you're doing Always be ready, so And just clearing up A few tiddlers in there That one looks like a large spearhead Or a shoe that is medium sized To a large ventracous dolly
Starting point is 00:15:42 I don't know if I'm a quick assessor of ventracous dolls Dummy, that's what I wanted to say Yeah, I mean again just up here So many stones It's Slightly scary If you're scared of stones If you were a stonephobe
Starting point is 00:16:04 Which people aren't Luckily the ground today is Quite pliant So it doesn't matter that I don't have a trowel Last night I noticed Even though it's February still The ground was baked Almost like a
Starting point is 00:16:22 African village The stones were hard to get out then My friend, I can tell you That's one of the main worries About global warming Just trying to pick another stone out here while my dog Flicks my face She doesn't always understand what's going on
Starting point is 00:16:42 Very self-centered my dog Thinks everything's about her Which is sad, it's not It's about me being the new Jesus Stone Jesus I'm not saying I am Jesus I'm saying I'm the stone Jesus It's a different thing
Starting point is 00:17:03 And the rules or commandments There are no rules There are no commandments But I'm done to others as though Would just be done by And throw stones They would want their stones thrown off So do that
Starting point is 00:17:19 I'm a breath I'm actually getting fairly fit At the moment Stone clearing is a different kind of work out Than anyone would get in a gym And much more intense There's the fear Of course as well in discovery
Starting point is 00:17:37 We're actually talking of which Right in the other corner of the field I see three or four dogs now I might get to this corner Be able to do a little bit of work here Catch me All the time you're hoping here In the click and the clack of the stones
Starting point is 00:17:53 Going back I'm just picking up One up every ten or twenty yards Sometimes two or three I'm just looking at this ground here And there is a lot of work to do To be done I have been
Starting point is 00:18:09 Shirking a little I think it's been good For The way I view stone clearing But it's not as good As a fishing way of getting the stones Off the field But also
Starting point is 00:18:25 I think there's been some rain The piles of stone look very clean They're very noticeable Maybe it's just the The dawn light Particularly picks them up But I can see both At this corner
Starting point is 00:18:41 Both the pile I've been making for some while And the wall I've been building on top of There is some significant New stones there Of course from the next door field Which some of you Ian
Starting point is 00:19:01 Soil He emailed in To say how cross he was about that I remember I remember his name because it was something way down But here we are at that wall And here we are at that next field And I think I will just
Starting point is 00:19:23 Just grab one or two of these boys There's a big one there that's all off the field But I'm moving on to my walls And Whatever Ian Soil says Oh I've got to do with Travel for that one
Starting point is 00:19:39 Someone's seen me I've got to make a beastie A hasty retreat There's someone with a person Just as I've warned myself Coming up The side and actually now We'll be
Starting point is 00:19:55 A man with many many I like about 20 dogs coming I'm going to get more people on the lead There's a lot of dogs coming here I'll throw one stone from a distance Oh that was a bad throw Come on Wolfie Come on Wolfie
Starting point is 00:20:17 What's going on Is that Michael? Why is he suddenly got There's a pack of dogs there This makes me feel like This could be it, am I about to be hunted down He's turning around going the other direction He sees that I've spotted him
Starting point is 00:20:33 I mean it was stupid of him really Because he's surrounded by Literally 10 dogs I would say All Labradors When he's knit through the next Where he's been spotted And he's literally trying to hide It's ridiculous
Starting point is 00:20:49 He was right out in the open Maybe he's another stone clearer I hope not, this is my field As you should know I've clearly urinated on the main cans That was weird You have to admit That was weird
Starting point is 00:21:05 Why would there be a man with so many dogs Why would that man Suddenly disappear into a hedge When he suspected That he'd been seen Well I would hate this to be a Pathetic
Starting point is 00:21:21 Podcast That might not even ever get heard The thing is I could be taken out Of that guy To try and stop him from becoming the new Jesus But I hope that even if that happens And you never hear this That you will somehow get a message
Starting point is 00:21:37 Through the scones I think you'd work it out yourself If I'd been literally killed Doing this I would hope you would be intelligent enough And faithful enough in me To just make me the new Jesus anyway But it does help if you're Jesus
Starting point is 00:21:53 Just to point you in the right direction a bit So yeah, I am Jesus Jesus on the stone Jesus is different Better if anything Because at least I'm achieving something Where's Jesus' wall Think about that Where is it? It doesn't exist
Starting point is 00:22:15 Not when he built himself If anything The main wall I can think of Jesus is not going to do with him So If you want to follow one of the other religions Do whatever one that is The wall one
Starting point is 00:22:33 But don't do those ones Because they're not real, do this one Because this is proof I've left behind some messages And also hopefully you're hearing this If you're not Hopefully you've worked out yourself Anyway, I'd seem to be safe
Starting point is 00:22:49 I'm right in the middle of the field But I do want to look For instance like Labrador's There could be Some kind of giant rat He's right in the far corner there You might have made bumping to him As we go down
Starting point is 00:23:07 I've picked up four stones as I've walked across the field They're not too many But it's again It's quality not quantity And also it's just getting the stones off the field Not quality Let's go He's heading that way
Starting point is 00:23:23 I'm going to bump right into him Although are they going off the field there They are, that's good I do have a clear run of the field today I might just go down the other diagonal Oh yeah, actually he's still in the field So this is a good move In the game of chess
Starting point is 00:23:41 That is so inspiring It's as much a game of tactics as anything else I played that brilliantly We just waited for him to reveal his hand And then bang I head off in a different direction Unless he's like the other That other man who changed his move as he saw me
Starting point is 00:23:57 He was a fine player actually He can't really come back now They are dogs They are rats I've just seen them a bit closer up They're definitely dogs I mean it would have been strange if they'd been giant rats I don't know why that was the
Starting point is 00:24:13 Place I came to The colour of brown, genuinely speaking But I've never seen a rat Anywhere near approaching the size of a large dog Something just A bit of paranoia there For once So yeah, heading across this large diagonal
Starting point is 00:24:35 First time for a while, don't worry We'll still be past the stone pole That's always going to be a part of this podcast As long as I hit them alive I'll go by that bit If I'm doing a special somewhere But even then I'll try and do it So heading down diagonal
Starting point is 00:24:51 Just picking up a few loose Got stones as I go Discourse the point very early on In the podcast history It might not be my new day I wasn't actually podcasted But I saw some rambas coming And dumped a good deposit of stones
Starting point is 00:25:07 I never found again So some of these stones I picked up now Don't really matter So I've got five or six in my hand now Heading to a much neglected can With ease When you follow the diagonal For those of you
Starting point is 00:25:25 Having a mental map Obviously the last couple have gone round the edge But the chest Move from the guy with the load of dogs Which is always a good In a game of chess have a lot of dogs Because it does intimidate the other players They think if they make the wrong move
Starting point is 00:25:41 The dogs could attack them I'm surprised more actual chess players Don't use that Out here It's a more complicated game than chess If anything it's more like the maze At the end of the adventure game thing From the 70's and 80's
Starting point is 00:25:57 Because death is A genuine possibility Of course in chess rarely does One of the players kill one or the other Again that is a good tactic If you're losing I'm not advocating murder But if you really want to win a game of chess
Starting point is 00:26:13 Have a gun Or a pack of dogs Some other actual weapon Because the chess pieces Are actually The power that you give them Is meaningless isn't it They're just little bits of stone
Starting point is 00:26:29 Ivory and stuff So plastic probably Doesn't make you hard Having a piece of plastic in the chamber of a king Having a stone that's a real thing Being out on the field with actual dogs That is a real dangerous thing So just looking to
Starting point is 00:26:45 Vangloriously pick up one more stone Oh I've done it But I did drop one of my others It's always a risk but I picked that up too So I managed to get Four, nearly ten stones From that jaunt across From the centre of the field
Starting point is 00:27:01 And they're going well actually In this corner Given how little I've been here And the porst of your stones in this particular area Although there are often a lot On the As you head across the field Those are falling quite randomly
Starting point is 00:27:17 But I'm happy with that because They're more turning into a wall Than a pile Right so Voided direct contact With dog walkers so far I haven't had to talk to any of them which is good I don't like to have to put on that false front
Starting point is 00:27:39 And Yeah actually heading past The place where I usually have got quite philosophical I suppose the chess tactics was A philosophy of kind If you do play chess do try some of those tactics You can learn a lot From stone things about other
Starting point is 00:27:55 Pastimes of sports This obviously those are Pastimes where I thought this is a job But that's often games Are a way of practicing Something more serious So by playing chess Even that's inferior to this game of chess
Starting point is 00:28:11 Maybe you will learn some tactics That you can employ In this real life situation Lots of dogs though I think Is really what I'm saying Just a lot of dogs, more dogs And if you think You might come with a lot of dogs
Starting point is 00:28:29 Bring more dogs than you think they'll have Then you've got a chess room Full of dogs snapping each other You don't feed the dogs For a couple of days before the tournament Believe you me now I was going to be talking about your Zugwang or whatever it's called
Starting point is 00:28:45 No one's ever going to be talking about you castling Are they? They're going to be going The fuck that came in with a lot of Hungry ravenous dogs And just along here I'm kicking a few stones off the path really I'm just going to pick up two or three For the
Starting point is 00:29:01 For the stone pole But I do want to put some At least one on this The cairn that's obviously You come in the other path you know what I'm talking about I don't think you'll explain the geography of this field To you anymore Oh when I drop that one
Starting point is 00:29:19 That one's definitely going on there This cairn that doesn't seem to grow However many stones I've got on it Someone's done a Let a dog do a poo on that cairn And that just infuriates me That's the kind of passive aggressive thing I have to put up with, they haven't killed me yet
Starting point is 00:29:39 But that's definitely the bird just going Hey we know what you're doing And we don't like it This is your first warning a dog poo And then there'll be ten dogs and so on and so forth I've got three They're only little Makes my job a lot harder
Starting point is 00:29:55 Oh that was close First go Second go I mean I nipped the cairn Does that count But that one definitely counts for Wolfie You heard that didn't you That was bang on so third time as a charm I hope you cheered please do cheer that point
Starting point is 00:30:11 Wherever you are In your life whatever you're doing Even if you listen to this stone cairn podcast at the funeral Which I hope some of you are Hopefully the funeral of someone who tried to stop stone cairn Clearing stones but Let's not get into that kind of Unpleasant talk
Starting point is 00:30:27 Do cheer always go Hey just do that for your little cheer People will Follow stone cairn We'll know who you are You're on a cheap powdery I know what you're doing mate A little wink
Starting point is 00:30:43 There's another member Of the church of the stones Always ready just biding our time That is really what we're doing out here Isn't it biding our time Trying to create something Beautiful Make our lives have meaning
Starting point is 00:31:01 Leave a legacy Become the stone Jesus I mean that's all we're trying to do We are The best people Thank you for listening I haven't finished I'm just saying I'm just thanking you Of course coming up to the main cairn now
Starting point is 00:31:19 I did add A good yesterday afternoon I added 13 good stones to this Which You know if we did that every day We would have quite the pile And we did have quite the pile here really I'm going to put these up
Starting point is 00:31:37 Three smallish stones here In potato terms I mean One is like a chip One is like a really big chunky chip One of them is I mean it's not really like potato but It would be
Starting point is 00:31:53 A small roast potato You can picture that I mean that looks a bit weird something's happened here Is that just me Maybe that's just me I haven't come from this angle for a little while So to speak No I think that's me I've just been trying
Starting point is 00:32:11 To elongate it it is looking nice out here I'm just admiring my handiwork We just pop Out into the field a little bit to see if we could find A couple more bees to put on this one This part has not been that well trodden recently And of course New stones have grown in the interim
Starting point is 00:32:35 For me to pluck I said pluck Anyone who does anything of that kind with the stones I do not approve of That is against nature Literally against nature But It's unnatural
Starting point is 00:32:51 To see the stones in that way Even if you create like a human form out of stones Still wrong And you know Real danger especially with this flint Of a proper injury Which I know some of you like But that's not my bag
Starting point is 00:33:07 Having sections stones is not I like having sections with Toothless old women and I don't like doing that That's just better That's all better than what you're thinking Oh I wish I had my trail but My bare fingers have done that
Starting point is 00:33:23 That's maybe not the biggest of the day actually I thought it was going to be but it's certainly up there The top two of the day That one I'm going to put on the separate Can as we head down Just a couple Of little tiddlers there Right heading back to the can
Starting point is 00:33:43 I picked up two little ones Four Three medium sized ones And that big one I'm going to put this Over the big one on the main can Just trying to extend the wall down I'm not trying to build it up
Starting point is 00:33:59 I'm just trying to get a concept Of how far we can take this thing And then The big one will go on the next can down I hope to connect up with maybe in five To ten years time Oops, dropped at court That's brilliantly played by
Starting point is 00:34:15 Just trying to kick one Or if you're getting in the way a bit I'm trying to kick that one onto the pile So all of those just going Just beside the can really Not on it But starting to create A wall going down the hill
Starting point is 00:34:31 Pretty good there It's looking pretty good my friends I must take some more pictures Of course of some of these to keep you up to date Things have moved on a little Not as much as I could have done If I had been a bit more dedicated Not been taking my dog
Starting point is 00:34:55 Up the hill in the opposite direction Away from the field Well there, a dog's been digging Someone's been training the dog to dig for stones And that's admirable but it's right on the path So dangerous Might as well pick up one stone from the path Which will go on this nice can
Starting point is 00:35:11 And there we go, that one's coming along Alright, because a lot of big ones are going on there So I'm sort of saving up my biggest one From the field to put on there And so day by day One or two stones on there It is turning into a mini It's more of a can than a nest now
Starting point is 00:35:27 Do I go back and try and find my trail? I don't think so, I think we'll wait For another day See where that one popped down Got a good idea where it popped out of my pocket I'm heading down the hill Again, generally speaking Slim pickings down here
Starting point is 00:35:45 What's that? It's a leaf What's that though? That's three little tiny, they're not even new potatoes They're not even chips But I'll take five of those to chuck in And there's an as a reward for my Hold on
Starting point is 00:36:07 Using my fingers as a trowel Checking the one down here A good medium sized stone that I'll put on the Can at the end For the beginning Half a omega Half a omega pile So yeah, I'm actually going to throw
Starting point is 00:36:27 Five little pebbles into the ditch today Which should really Stop anything bad happening in the world For a good long time Using just one suffices Hopefully this can sort out Brexit this throw Here it comes If Brexit is negotiated and sorted out
Starting point is 00:36:47 It's all down to that, so don't need to thank me Some people will claim it's nothing to do with me Others will say why you're not obeying the stones Actually, just as we get down to the bottom here There are a few more options Stone wise I'll chuck a couple of little ones Into the ditch a bit further along
Starting point is 00:37:09 Hope that doesn't counter-track What I did before I'll take these two I mean, these are just nice sized potatoes Medium sized potatoes to end on To go on the opening can They didn't get anything, I did throw one towards it As we arrived, but I don't think it went on
Starting point is 00:37:27 So, hope you enjoyed today Just grab one more stone there, we'll be able to see it by the Oops, don't run away Oh, you've been on the lead all the way, haven't you? It's their ages, I don't think they'll let me off the lead I should have used all those ten dogs Sorry, whoops I've been concentrating on stones
Starting point is 00:37:43 Tennis ball's still there, someone's saying I should take the tennis ball off But you know, is it my job to clear None I mean, organic material from The edge of a field to somewhere else No, that's not my job, mate Can't remember your name, it was probably Simon compost heap
Starting point is 00:38:01 But yeah, here we are Slight dirt on my coat Which is always a good sign Lots of dirt on my fingers, which is a good sign Obviously a danger of Bit of discovery though as well As people spot who I am Work out
Starting point is 00:38:17 That probably the bloke doing all those stuff The dirty-fingered one All over his coat But it's been a good day That was just a little jump round I hope you picked up some pearls of wisdom there I mean, mainly I think I've just helped People who play chess probably
Starting point is 00:38:37 I'd be interested to see out if any of those If you do play chess, try those tactics Let me know how they work out for you Um Some would say the real winners of chess Are those who don't play it Don't waste their time playing chess I mean, imagine what you could be doing
Starting point is 00:38:55 What's the point of moving little stones around a board When you could be moving them around Of actual stones Representing nothing Moved around a field a bit I mean, who's Who's using their time In the most productive way
Starting point is 00:39:11 It's a It's a rhetorical question The answer is it's me Clearly In case you were confused So Homeward ban now back to my wife Luckily this time
Starting point is 00:39:27 I get to see her again I'll kiss her on the lips if she's there I'll do this I'll do this I'll kiss her on the lips She won't know what's going on Which is romantic Only when I am finally
Starting point is 00:39:43 Doing this will she appreciate And love me I think for what Love me even more because she loves me She's my wife And I look forward to that day When I'm dead And she appreciates What I'm doing and realises
Starting point is 00:40:01 I wasn't just someone who didn't do anything around the house I wasn't doing any stuff around the house Because I was doing something important Anyway, we're back now Wolfie Time for breakfast Do keep those emails coming in Brian Glove
Starting point is 00:40:17 Brian Glove, not Brian Glove Brian Glove He can be Brian Glove because he's not around anymore He Got in touch To say my favourite bit in this podcast Is the emails that you get So that's nice
Starting point is 00:40:33 There are a lot of people listening Who are getting a lot of emails I can't read them all out Simon Recycling All men today He's been in touch To To say
Starting point is 00:40:51 Why is it mainly men that email in Well I'd say to that Simon Don't email in if you're a man Email in if you're a woman And Brenda Dogtow She I didn't say I'm a woman So what's
Starting point is 00:41:07 Simon What was it Recycling I just had to check the email to find out his name I don't know how she knew What his email was Maybe CC Maybe there's something going on between those two
Starting point is 00:41:27 And they're just challenging each other To email in To try to read out Those are just some of the The ones that I did Leander Sink Said
Starting point is 00:41:45 I'm a woman as well What's going on Yeah it's probably 50-50 men and women really So don't worry about that If you're worried about the email situation If you There are rules that are not rules
Starting point is 00:42:01 Getting such And do keep on enjoying Your Stone Clearing Yourself You're getting on I'm not interested Thanks for listening See you next time Bye
Starting point is 00:42:19 Stone Clearing with Richard Chang Stard me with Chang and Wolfie the dog It's also featuring the man with 10 dogs What's going on and what's his story We'll turn up again in future episodes As my nemesis Thank you to Mike Cosgrove for writing this beautiful music And thank you to the voice of the photons
Starting point is 00:42:35 Michael Faheen

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