Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 152

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Chapter 152 - Get Back In Your Rembrandt Painting. It's around 9.30am on 25th October 2023 and the daily stone clears continue. The Stone Stasi are back in force, but who started this war and is it a case of right and wrong or more nuanced that that? NO, the stone clearers are good and the stone Stasi are evil. Plus a look at the strangely altered cairn in the middle of the field, a celebrity visitation and some excellent rule breaking. Sadly the recording ended unexpectedly about five minutes from the end of the clear and you miss some absolute gold. Cheg on.

Stone clearing with Richard Herring Hello, but I have friends. Two stone-themed chap, 152. Ironically, well, I should say it's the 25th of October, two months of Christmas. It's 9.28am. Ironically I am clearing some organic material for my garden. What I like to think is a communal compost heap on the solution, waves by the field. Do have a garden collection of my house, but it's still a bit small. It's got this, it's lost to get through, so.

The focus was start with, the clearing, some, or gap between us, a lot of the problems you've, before we thought you'd ever hear me say that I'm like a father Christmas waltz today. Oh, yeah. I like a tentacle, father Christmas. And there's a bag of big sack of my shoulders. One of the bits of ivy usually. So no stones, of course.

I'm not taking stones onto the field. That would break every rule of the stone clearing hammock. There are a lot of of the stone clearing handbook that I never lost a stone clearing. But, uh, the stone clearing is already coming towards us. I'm taking that version. So yeah nearly forgot to do today's podcast which would cause broken and incredible run every day this year so far.

It would be terrible to lose it just now on the... Oh look at this, some creatures dug under this fence. Just get a bit there, push it up to get through the top. There are creatures out here, my friends, watch out for the creatures. Good little exercises carrying a big bag of broken bits and leaves this far at the field but you can see I'm pretty fit at the moment barely out of breath sometimes just walking maybe a breath on this Stay, we'll be stay, come here. Stay here. Oh massive.

Builders, merchant bag on those sheet ones. Only half full. There you go, I need to nicely, I leave that here to clear that one the way back. Refill, repeat, tilt empty. Right wolfs, we have the stotion. Find a nice stone in the path here, I mean someone argue technically not on the field this one, but rules are made to be broken, that what I say break the rules day and here we are up and I'll pick that up because there's a guy here so I was going to back to let

me off the lead but I won't do that now go and go hopefully he's getting off the field now because we're we've been checkmated or we've just made it at least in the human game of chef and as is right behind us now there's nothing we can do. Open this is all recording, probably I'll walk you doing a wee, that's good to see. One of the elderly stone staszy, even if you saw me clear stones, I could be out of here, I could run, be away before he could stop me. Hopefully it doesn't make my builders much unpack if he goes off that way. See is it nigs or I'll have a bit of that.

Someone's left out there. No mate, it's mine. Oh no, it was you. He is, is he heading off? He looked like he was heading off. No, he's just stopped at the, by the Alpha Enomaga Chem, which luckily I did manage to get that. That's why he's be prepared.

That's the motto of the stone clearist guild to be prepared we had it first lucky I had it out for an albicain does have its contribution today. I just wanted to check things were working there so I stopped for a second and listened. I just had a feeling it might not be recording but it is. I run it of course if now. This one isn't recording properly and it's just coming from inside my pocket. Usually it's a little big in the ear when it starts but what can I say? I'm about to stop and check this one now. I think we'll just risk it

for a biscuit. So Wolfie, now free to come off the leach is doing another way was quite something that were wean. What was that noise? Come here. Gunner down. Not many stones been cleared so far just the one. It's not quantity is it's quality that's what's going to look bit of black and now I'm in my winter coat nor face with acceptable face, look at this, that burps and was that just a black stone, going to place it with reverence by this poster where there isn't even a can, starting our own can. Maybe blackened by the fire that was consumed as part of the field. Back in the deck you'll remember that one. You'll kick there, kicked off the stone that was already pretty much off the field but now definitely is. Just doing a mini hassle off through there. Whatever these plants are they look like, like Rape'sed to me, farmer who said it was, like some kind of cruciferous vegetable, maybe rapeseed

cruciferous I don't know, to Jesus' die for this, and we're in the little channel where there is no channel where there is no just stones and soil, having a bit of grass and stuff, but no crops, just clearing, just you know once we've done that very outside, pro-complete, we all have to start moving into the middle so it's good together a little bit of it done, and now ahead of times. We'll be shaking ahead. It does not agree with me a little bit of pottery. It's at the spout or something. There's a handle with a hollow handle. Some kind of archaeological remains off the field now.

It's off the field. Pottery goes. If it's organic, there are only depennive. It's not chapter twat that's the basic rule Did I live my life by Nice some nice spines out here that was a nice sudden medium stone there just tossed casually off the field Waiting of course a stone Christmas when there's already been a plow this year but with the first crop hopefully there will be a proper one that digs everything up

an old boy oh boy that's a great day and you remember those days when that's happened now we come onto the field how'd we come onto the stotion? Get merrily grabbing everything that we see, for thong Christmas have arrived, and we must clear the stones for he that gave before two teachers his ways oh thank god for so great we all know that song but it's nice to sing it again occasionally I'll sing it again later we all know off by heart so it's it that will be easy to do it will be easy to replicate oh nice very nice which is odd bit too thick I think for which is finger or thick there, could be a thick dick. Looks good written over. Whoopie, stay here. Hey, yes, a grouse flew up, warning me. Sometimes, hey, chair joins

in. I was thought, oh, the grass, whoopie might attack the grass, then I saw behind it the hunched figure of a stone starsy clad in hat looking like some medieval subject of medieval painting but it is, it's got the old style wide brimmed ancient medieval, I may have traveled back in time it is possible. It is plausible. It is plausible. It is not over all it is likely. Oh, there is something here. Is that a dog? There is a dog lurking waiting for Wolfie wearing a red jacket. This stone star is he leaving that dog behind as a excuse I guess to come back but I wish they'd call it because he was that dog what is it could be yeah it's really not moving very much it looks like it's feeding on grass

and nervous to go near it partly for wolfie and partly for myself, I have to say. Ah, starting to move. It looks like a very little Scott dog, Scotty dog. Scott the dog, as I call him. Not an any hurry to move along and it's master. Looks like it might be some sort of Star Wars creature rather than a dog. Can I only just see the red body which doesn't seem to be moving like a robotic body and then a head dipping up and forwards. Oh there we go, I can see it's a dog now. All right so I put it on those greyhounds that

for a tax wolfie. Get that bloody dog you medieval peasant. Thank you. Get back in a painting by Bren Brandt. Take your dog with you. I hate it when Bren Brandt Port, Bren Brandt Port traits come to life for an attempt to stop me. From clearing stones, it's one of my pet hates. from clearing stones it's one of my pet hates my the pet hate is that fucking greyhound attacks wolfie my pet love is wolfie I love her more than I love life itself more than I love my kid she's the best is my best friend apart from Ali the ventricle is done I've got lots of friends and right by the can of caution the main can there's a nice stone with a slug on it That stone is now it fell slugged down as I hope the slug was all right Should we go this way wolf's?

Oh you have pooped a sweet pooping she was pooping in the In the stotion where poop is free pooping is free out there It's good for the plants good it's good for the crops, good for the anus of the dog, and bowel, whatever else they've got in there. Right, we're going up past the singing ring and tree. I've made a decision, I've called it. I think it's still recording.

Beautiful, it's a beautiful podcast. What I've you imagine listening to all the ones from this year? I know many of you are just dipping in listening to one a month from the emails I'm getting. But they all get handed over to my internet guy, sticks them all up. So I don't check, obviously. He numbers them, he puts them up, and I just do the job. So thanks to him, his name of course is just escaping for a sec. It should know my email in my podcast every day. It's Bracken, nice name, that Bracken a nice Christian name, strong,

Bracken Water Tower, which is his name, also a hyphenated name. It's a parents Jessica Water and Simon Tower, it's not Jessica Water, it's Jessica Water, different parts of music. Anyway, thanks to Bracken, Bracken Water Tower. just water, different parts of music. Anyway, thanks to Bracken, Bracken Water Tower. It's hard work, it's a lot to us, I'm gonna pay him well, put him up every day. But it is a big commitment. So thanks to him for staying so committed,

putting it every single one of these up. You see Mike say, well, Rich, you do the numbers at the top. So how come he just, he must, every day, tells you what number we're on, because I can't write, I can't be a spectre remember that. It's not a weird, the numbers are so low, but I can't question it, given that we've done, that's done like 253 hundreds of podcasts just this us just this year, but he has a system, I have my system. Mine is not the world of numbers, mine is the net, the world of stone.

Here's the world of digits, digitalizing things in the world, moving a stone off a field. Just kicks a couple of stones out of have you heard that always employ the kick Sense saves bending stone clear is back Will eventually crumble and fall Singing ring in tree coming up boss. I've got a nice Almost ball site shape stone here. It's right in no singing bring in today Do look after your back as well I'm saying so if you

have the opportunity to kick or use some kind of grabbing machine not a lot of soundflares think no machines should be allowed at all. If you're my handy child you have to make that choice yourself there is no rule about that because there are no rules to soundfiring. That's the first rule, something, second rule. No mechanical tools at any kind may be used to clear stones out of the owners' discretion. There's not really a rule, it's just a piece of knife. That rule puts split the stone clearing community back in the 4th or 5th centuries to have a big meeting. People were fighting wars over it, and actually that was the compromise they arrived at

to have a rule saying you couldn't have tools but unless you wanted to, then you could. And yeah, that's all it out, the Catholics and Protestants have a lot to learn from the stone clearing community, mainly that their god is not real and that ours are that's kind of the ethos of most religions this is more than a religion of course because eight is true and b you've actually doing something useful to the world rather than just trying to say you're just peering the hour sw swing your die like a cuntwood. I don't care about my death, I know that when I die, I'll be clearing stones forever in heaven, stone heavens.

And of course I'm planning not to die by replacing everybody twice, I have wits at a stone, stones are immortal as we know, just carrying my clearing stones on this planet earth and then when the planet earth is gone I shall fly like an asteroid to the nearest planet that has stones on it which is all of them I think but from the gas planets I guess probably some stones on there Pop from the gas planets I guess. Probably some stones on there. Not clearing gas, I'm not fucking idiot. Clear that, just floats off, back where it was. All the stone planets have stones, that's what I'm saying and I'm not idiot. The sun has a lot of stones on it, helium stones. There's a nice little, we don't come up here too often I do it, there's a nice little, nook. There's some stones in it, you hear that clinker for a nice, that's the biggest

stone of the day actually, a nice medium, medium medium I'd say. Good size. Another stone starsy with, again, what doesn't look like a dog, it's on a lead, it's long and white, it looks more like a sort of gigantic weasel. It looks like a dog now. Man wearing a black beany hat. That's what's the man who stole my phone outside, chap and she was two of those years ago, what is the same guy? These people may have been dogging me for, and when I say dogging, not at, for many years, knowing I would come here, knowing my future plans, some say the stone sars you can travel backwards and forwards in time. Oh, fucking hell. There's stone sars in meat in, both with the weasel dogs. This one coming with a with a striding purposefully,

wearing a red cap, I don't want to be forced all the way around the fucking periphery, but they're gonna stop and have a chat, the cunts, sorry for the seawords. But I just, I call a stone a stone, and I call the hemstoff to talk, it's okay, so, I don't know what can I do, yeah, I've managed to clear a stone while they were distracted. I might just hang here for a sec, whoops.

The bishops crossing the field diagonally. I don't know if this is a man or a woman. I think it's one of those King Charles dogs. Her dog with the face of King Charles III. It's a frightening prospect when you see one for the first time. But then you realize that these dogs have been bred to look like King Charles III. It has a sort of tribute to him for his ascending the throne after all this hard work he put into do so after all this time when he worked at it, he was just going to go, that was a nice flick, that was a kick got under the stone, there was a big flat stone, flicked it up and under like a

rugby ball, and I think it went here, I think that's a lady, still can't quite tell, pretty flexing out. Four beats there, but by doodling managed to void the intercept in the Prince Charles King Charles dog absolute splitting images King Charles the third there the face it's actually quite disconcerting the ears of spot on as well that must have taken some breathing in I don't know if King Charles was involved in the breeding process at any point to make this like this I'd good for zoom not but you could have a lot of downtime until last year and maybe they got him involved yeah gave him some cash nice nice medium sized and sort of dripping on I'm gonna throw it further off it sort of hanging off the headland at the side it

was to the left of me so it's not really needed to be cleared if you're on the periphery of the field. Another nice town's here. This corner is traditionally been quite good but we don't come up here too after. Right that's Don't Starzy fucking shot off like lightning that will well on the way to the next field Just have a little Gaze over By that come on Another brilliant coming back up the... Oh, he's got me, he's got me, looks like Bill Bailey.

Could be Bill Bailey. Come on, Wolfie. It's coming up behind us, it's at his arse. Come on. Let's do it. Come on. Come on. Bring him to a job.

It's against every role at Stonekery. Breaking the conditions of what were laid down by the stone carrying cat or actually, it's fine, it's going the other way. Of course there is, there's rules of engagement. One of it is you're not allowed to run away from the stone stasie or it makes their job to us, especially if someone that elderly ones as I said, but those un-stone-faring roles, those are rules, the rules of war between St. Dazey and to a evil, and the stenters who are good. And I won't allow anyone to see any light and shade in this war. You're either on the right side or the wrong side. And yes, the trust is up and committed in both directions. But the trust is, I have committed against the stone stars.

They are justified. They probably started it. It's hard to remember now who started it. Or why? But those are the best wars. Wars where I've been going on for generations. Nobody really knows much about it, and the bodies of the innocent pile height, which is what I think our ancestors in stone were wished for. Anyway, some might say, Ritch, making a good point about the wider world here.

No, not just talking about stone, if you're interpreting it any other way you're a fucking idiot. I don't care about that. Just don't. War is stupid, and people are stupid. And love means nothing in some strange quarters. That's the ancient stone clearing piece of stone, where stone clear is, and stone stars,

they try to get together, some of the young ones, to say this war was night pointless. And we've forgotten what it was about, and that stones aren't even important. They're all for shame those youngsters, they learn. They learn their lesson. Right, we haven't picked up many stones, which is what we're here for, just seen one in the on the path, it's very small, but at least it's something from this long trek. There's another one, a couple of loose ones here, at least these three tiny stones will add up to one, not quite as tiny stone. It's always three times as big as it's any of its individual members.

And yeah, the weird sight of the can in the middle of the field without bush, not shrub, it'd bear off any weather at all. And another storm break, singing the wind, you're insane, black cloud, you're on chewed one. Looks like a foul bombard that would shed his liquor. I'll take a picture of it, it looks like a meat to us here, the central.

We still barely asked up there. me to us here, the central. We're still going to be asked to go in. That's the central can, that might be the picture for today. It's sort of a little more impressive. It was drawn marking some of those. It's great. It's less impressive without the bush. Well, you think it'll look more impressive if you begin. On we go towards the stone pole. And I think we might have shaken all the stones down. The Bill Bailey one was the most frightening. Bill Bailey, of course, gets on the other path.

Next year, we'll have to ask him back with that, was he? On the field. What he was doing? It's in Hamasnik. It's a long way from the travel, just to scare me. I jumped from Banda Bush while I'm talking to you, making me look mental.

And I do, you also saw me doing CNPS one time. I had to hide behind the car because I was too embarrassed about what I was up to. Right, I found a nice stone for the stone pole. One, that's a little one rich thing. That's a good idea. There's a nice size one, there's... I've got four just here in this one little spot, so it's nice and we're way at way. So it's nice to have cleared some stones. It's all because it's be excited I think she's gonna get them thrown for her well maybe eventually wolfs if we get one more

you understand do you understand just say yes or no I guess not saying anything you don't understand so let's go to that. Just saying yes or saying nothing. Oh that's a nice size one, there we go. So we've got five, two I think we'll definitely hit. Three are going to be, take quite some skill and the stone pole has not been kind to me or you recently. Sorry for the bad luck, but it has given given you or endeavour to do better today it's a little bit snottie from the illness I've had over the last couple of weeks to the three weeks but generally basically better than I go actually a little one later

what rich is this, I've walked from now to feel about nothing size for me no good, I've done least one more dog walk today my wife's gal I'm hunting off to that London ah, here we are stone pole Oh, here we are. Stone pole. Unfettered, I believe, by any stone star, is the anywhere near. Let someone jumps out of that pathway there. That's always possibility. I'm going to pick up this stone because it's better. I'm going to clear the little stone still, but I'm going to give myself a better chance. I'll make all that cheating,

but there are no rules to stone pole throwing that's the first rule of stone because it uses a marker or a dapet cheating let's see we'll maybe just do six let's see if we can hit six out six I'm going to go do a dart throw is throw today feel that wolf is excited she's on the lead though. Right, here we go. We're going to get six feet away from the pole. Number one, that's a massive miss. That was one of the good stones as well. Missed by a long way. He went into the wood behind. And that's missed the other way. That's two out of two miss. That sounded like it hit, didn't it hit the pole next to the same pole? That's nib 0 out of 3 1 out of 4 1 out of 5

Oh, the big one again hit the wrong pole 1 out of 6 So it's even worse than usual usually it's just 1 out of 5 5 misses with one hit 2 hitting the wrong pole At least 2 going beyond bounds, which is Obviously a crime against the stone clearing community so very much bad luck is coming to you remember you can swage at that luck becoming a monthly badger go fast to struck.com such badgers if you're not already help pay the millions of pounds it cost me to do the stone clearing podcast not in terms of you know spending any money but just reputation or damage which leads to me not getting any other kind of work but I

don't touch that money that doesn't go to me even though I'm poor and all I have to eat my family have to eat a stone so that money goes into making more podcasts for you. Good kick there Wolfie wants to go leave it, Wolfie wants to go and leave it. Wolfie wants to get that one back off, but I just, it was lovely kick and flick. And another kick. Oh, that wasn't such a good kick, but I think at the second time, great kick. Wolfie's going after it. Oh, there's a poo there. I'll put it down, Wolfie.

Wolfie's risked the stone. She dicks as a game. She's picked it up again. Well, this time I've thrown it into the brambles and there's nothing more for you to do about that she looks disappointed like I don't understand the rules of her brilliant game what can you do what have you got What have you got?

So coming into the final leg don't forget to pick up my Builders merch and sack and put them out. Let's just put some stones Just checking behind Kind of kick out. I have to use my tool Oh grow up. To dig this one out of the ground. Oh, that's a huge one. Sadly, that was where the podcast cuts out. I think my batches might have gone on my headphones by the sounds of it. You missed a lot of great stuff, including an email from Holly Berry, the daughter of Nick Berry, which I don't think I can recreate for you here. So you missed about five minutes there at the end, but we've got most of it in and to be fair. It's a long one already.

Thanks for listening. Enjoy your stonkling. Sorry, we lost a bit at the end, ironically, after thinking everything was going to be okay. The Liffin to the stone for my friend and they For half a year married dance don't live To the birth and tree don't live To your underpants. Listen to the dove. Listen to the dove.

And they interned for a lippen to ye' My friend, my friend Potomaclyr in with Richard Herring, starved me, Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog. The music is by Mike Cobgrave, the voice to Potomac is by Michael Faheen. Also, of course Bill Bailey was a miss one. Plus all those weird animals and the women from the Rembrandt picture. Well, she was my personal favourite. Thanks for listening, see you next time. plus all those weird animals and the women from their Rembrandt picture as well. She was my personal favourite. Thanks't live unto your underhound. Live unto the foes.

Live unto the foes. And they intern for a my friend, my friend. you