Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 156

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

Chapter 156 - Deadline. It's 17 o'clock or so on 20th February 2024 and after daily podcasting in 2023 this is the first recorded clear of the year and the FF are out in force. Is the end in fight? And why do all the cairns look so unimpressive after all this work?

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Right, Whoopi, come here. Sit. Good, go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's check this is working. Well, hello my fine friends. Welcome to Stone Clearing, Chapter 156. It's 1716 on the 20th of February 2024. First Stone

Clearing of 2024 that obviously for broadcasts I've been out every day for at least 12 hours a day but this is the first one, I hope you will forgive me that slight break in communications, I did of course do one every single day throughout 2023 365 podcasts so I think we should be churlish with anyone to

complain about that. Come on. Keep moving. Good girl. But yeah, just had a little break from broadcasting just for my own mental health. I've done shopping all that well. But not my mental. My mental health has been bang on as always

as you'd expect from a man who's stone clear but a little bit under the weather otherwise but nothing to worry about, don't worry don't worry about me but yeah, it's February We've missed the January gold rush. That was an amazing time.

Now the, here we just appear, it's a sea of green. Whatever this stuff they're growing, I don't care about that. I don't care about that. It is taking up most of the field but there are some notable patches of brown certainly towards the edge which is good news for me, good news for stones. Oh there's a stone-stirzy person heading his way down the hill so I'm going to have to quickly find my alpha and omega stones. Can I find anything? There's one very quickly. And there's it. Come on, Wolfie! And of course this is bad news because it does mean... We're just walking past some beautiful stones here. I'm going to pick up one and pretend to throw it for Wolfie.

She hasn't run for it. As long as this stone... oh, stopped on the hill. Stone Stasi. There's another Stone Stasi crossing the field, above us. That's not too bad. No one behind. Managing to clear a few stones while they're distracted. The danger is of course that the guy behind me will follow me around. I'm just gonna clear a couple of little ones. I thought it was an exciting start to 2024. A chase, basically a chase going on here. Lots of stones so here in this edge part of the field of the stocian. That one made a satisfying clunk as it met some of its brothers, its three brothers. The fence here, still down, I mentioned that in the last podcast.

See right into someone's back garden, You could get in there if you wanted. I don't remember that gate. Has that been cleared? A little gate into someone's back garden there. Well, I've... a lot's changed since yesterday when I was out stone clearing and didn't record it, obviously. I'm wearing some casual sportswear, loungewear that you could wear for sports, but I've got no pants on underneath. And I'm wearing some winter boots with no socks. So it's very much a day of no underwear. See how that affects the stone coon, picking up a couple of... oh no, bastard. The guy is following, so that makes... and it's catching up. Just played a couple of mediums, but let's move in quick, orfs, in the hope that we can get away

from this pursuer. Of course, if're being pursued it makes it hard to clear but you know you'll have heard seven or eight stones at least a couple of mediums and when you're in this situation where you're running for your life from the stone Stasi you don't know if you're going to live or die. You can't think about that until I know there's someone coming from ahead as well, damn it. They've got me cornered. I'm going to step out into the middle. A little bit into this. Good girl Wolfie, come on. Good girl.

Wolfie. Hi there. Wolfie, stay. Wolfie's seeing them off. Good girl, come on. I'm another fucking aider. I mean, you know, I've been in Stone Stasi through the whole of

2023, basically. And the social is absolutely packed. I've done it, I've done it, I've been in Stone's Stasis through the whole of 2023, basically. And, uh, the, uh, social is absolutely packed. Stay, Wolfie. Wolfie, stay. Hiya. Come on. Wolfie!

Stay. Here you go. Stay. Whoa! Stay. Oof, blimey. Come on. Wolfie, being a very good guard dog, nearly pulling me over. Don't be so silly. That was seen off, er... He looked around there. I've got to pretend I'm not talking to you. Ow! He really hurt me. He pulled my arm. He's going into his little house, that guy. That's okay. I know that guy. Well, what a shame. We've missed out on lots of great potential stone clearing there but

we're in a little clear bit of clear clarity now the guy who is following us I can't see him maybe he's decked into his house as well who knows or if he's doing a wee but it's just under the brow of the hill so I can't see it. We might still be being followed. You have to, as I was trying to say before being beset by a whole new raft of stone stars, was when you are running from them, do try and look at the ground and work out which stones you're clear the next time you come. I'm not being so ruthlessly pursued. Oh, that's a bit of excitement. A bit of excitement to start the 2024 podcast off with there. But not many stones cleared in the last few minutes.

We're going to take the long way round, we're going to go past the singing ringing tree. We need to really, is there anything here we can put on the cairn across from the main cairn? Not much. It's looking a bit sad for itself. Just kick a couple of these stones a bit further back up the field. Back onto the, not back up the field, back off the field. Oh, here's one. That's a nice one. It's small, but that'll fit nicely. Oh, Wolfie just got a nose in the way. Yeah, I don't think I'm being

pursued anymore. That guy gave up, I think, when he realised when he saw me shooting off. I might let Wolfie off the lead, but it's a bit of a dangerous enterprise. The path here, very wide all of a sudden, as we head around to the Singing Wing. This used to be a quite difficult place to navigate, but the pedestrians have managed to widen the walking area. widen the walking area. It's hard to see if there are any stones available due to the thick foliage. The farmers are selfishly growing crops on this area which would be much better if they weren't there, then they could just get in there clear the stones. Wolfie's in a bit of a frisky mood I have to say, had a good go at a couple of dogs so I'm worried about other dogs coming outside here. Wolfie!

Not much in the way of stones, there's a lot of hay, straw between the plants. Not really seeing any stones, this used to be quite a good area for stones but someone, some genius has been up here and cleared a lot of those stones away. There will be Redding herself the defecate. Nicely in the side there. Where the stones go, the poo can go. No one's going to walk on there, that's... It's a stinky poo, it's only a little poo. But I can smell it, and she fruitlessly moves somewhere away from the poo and then scrabbles at them as if she's burying the poo she's just done. You're not burying it, Wolfs, you're not fooling anyone.

Couple of little nippers here just on the path, more or less, makes you go into the side. Coming up the Singing Ringing Tree, been a while since I've recorded in this particular area. Let's see if today, 2024 might be the year that the fairy-like inhabitants make themselves known. I found a nice kidney-shaped stone, caramel. And there it goes into the weird singing ringing tree. Nothing. Wolfie goes to have a look see if she can grab the thing. We'll kick a couple of stones up the hill a bit. No avail. Wolfie come on. Whoo so moving fast and we seem to have seen off the

All opposition Is Wolfie doing another poo or is that just a wee? Oh Wolfie has got one of the stone Is that the kidney? That's the stone That was for the singing ringing tree What's wrong with you? I'm throwing it back Oh shit

One went a bit wayward Hopefully no one was walking the path next door. I've yet to kill a human being. Wolfie, come on! Wolfie! Wolfie, get back here! Good girl. Now the elves folk will be disappointed there. With my contribution going missing. perhaps they would have come out. Perhaps Wolfie has ruined everything.

I'm clearing a stone that might already have been cleared down and rolled down the hill but it's off now. And on we go! Where we stop, nobody knows. Now there is a little bit more urgency to clearing the stones this year. At some point this year it looks like we are going to be moving away from the village. Not to say we can't come back and clear stones but it might make that work a little harder. Just trying to get this baby up. So really I probably need to try and clear everything in the next four to five months which, as we're still around the edge and I can now where we're walking now just hundreds of f**king stones I feel like some of them have there's two or three here that feels like just come off this

little nest of stones here and they're going back on maybe a badger's been in I'll move those back on that'll be helpful no badgers not being helpful so it may mean stone clearing podcast come to an end as well I don't know

there may be stones where I'm going but do you really want to start this whole thing again? I've been doing some secret fields here as well of course that you people can't know about just because if I tell you about the fields suddenly stone stars they crop up everywhere. Stone stars, they crop up everywhere. So someone's blabbing. This is very much my distraction. Falsified stone clear field. The real ones are going beautifully. But I do have to keep up the retents. And, you know, I would like to clear all the fields around the area before I go, so it just means upping the work rate a little bit. Should be fine.

Admittedly, you know, as I say, I've still really only cleared around the edge of most of these fields and if you looked at the edge of the fields after what is it six, five, six years you would only see a tiny amount of difference. If that, if anything you might think there are a few more stones on the fields but I think I can do it. I started this thinking this would be a job could take a couple of weeks podcasts would last maybe three weeks but now

I look at it and think no, it did take longer than you thought Rich but I'm still not going to give up and I'm still going to have unrealistic expectations of what I can achieve but unrealistic expectations, expectations of what I can achieve. But it's not a bad thing to have an end date in mind, because, look, you may think,

oh, I'm living in this place for another 20, 30 years, I've got a little plenty of time. The death scythe can come and take you at any moment my friend especially with the stone stars he said probably talking of which two more pop in their heads above the horizon again just as we get to a bit where we could do some serious clearing some serious clearing it's a little tribute to Steve Wright there tribute to Steve Wright there. They're still far enough away I think I can Oh!

Caught my cuff there. And threw one. Tried to do it too quickly. Oh! He's running for it. It was only just to say bounced onto the path. I don't think that's even gone to...

I'm not far from the edge. It shows how little I've been doing this particular area. How old I've become. I managed to get that one into the boundary, thrown through two stones, but now... Another red-coated. The first guy who chased me was red-coated. There's another red coat on the way with a black coat.

I think they're coming this way. They almost look like they're going the other way. But then they're getting closer. Could they be walking backwards? White-haired man, I'd say a red-coated lady. Hopefully my sweatpants won't fall down. They're very loose and as I say, I'm commando underneath here and the sight of my beautiful penis and one ball could drive these people to distraction. They

have got a dog, hopefully he's going to be kept in a tight leash. They're getting close now. I might move over a little bit just to let them through and also to investigate what stones we might have here. There's a few. It's an ore stone. Right, just wait here Wolfie. Wait, good girl, wait, morning, afternoon, hi there, good girl, stay, no worries, good girl, oh she's staying, good girl, well done. That's a nice one. Backs are turned now. Let's just check we're still recording. We want to lose a minute of this gold.

Been going for 18 minutes 31 seconds. I've managed to pick up a lovely medium there. Just kicked it out the ground while their backs were turned. If that's all I managed to do on the way across it will still not be insignificant but here's a couple of bits of shrapnel to add to that pile and this one's calling out, Rich please save me it's my turn. I know, I know. Listen, they all say that. Please, you haven't got very long! Help me! We are the Lorry Pup Guild! There's another one calling to me here. I've only got so many hands. Oh, and there's another fucker coming. What the fuck? I've dropped everything. I'm gonna have to pocket these. I've got such a lovely medium here I don't want to lose it.

But I'm scrambling around in the dirt. Somehow I managed to scramble my way to the bank. Scramble away the bank. Frightened my wits, had them alone and dead. Of course, I've got old Harris there in his stone clearing. Of course, Ralph Harris there, in his stone clearing. You can have me betting, I bet they had me talking to Stone Clear pretty soon after that. That's Ralph Harris. You may remember that public information film. The day when you could talk freely about stone clearing, without fear of imprisonment. A lot of trumped-up charges coming against stone clearers.

Some of them might have been Peterfogs. But look at this, the Central Cairn, absolutely devoid of its hole. I think they were taking away stuff before but it's actually just a bank of stones now with a hole. Looks like a creature on the moon or something. Let's see if I can get those pocketed stones out of the go in a different way. I've got to take a picture of the central cairn because this is the one I thought was the most impressive. It was hidden largely behind bushes and now the bushes have been taken out quite brutally and you can see what's

going on here it's pretty amazing but some of the stones scattered a little bit in a way I don't really like. Again suggest someone's been in here. It's nice to be able to see them and see what I've been building all these years. I could have built this much in a day. I'll move some of these boys up from low down to higher up just to give the cairn a bit more heft. When you think this is my best cairn. One of the best ones. It's a bit tragic. There's a lovely big stone there.

I don't know if that was ever part of it. It is now. Yeah, it looks a bit pathetic. Bit pathetic. Almost like my life's work has been meaningless. Is that the moon up above or the sun? I can't tell through the clouds. It must be the moon. It's much too high in the sky for this. If it was the sun, it would be the middle of the day. The crops are low. There's not, which is good in terms of avoiding the stone stars. There's no danger of them popping up out of nowhere.

Oh, and I'd almost forgotten about the stone pole. That's how long it is since I've done a stone pole. Got to look out for some good ammo for the stone pole. I can watch going nuts. Really want to be able we record this outdoor walk today I've got two stones just I wish we were back in the other bit because the stones the bit where the stones started they know what they doing. They leave me alone on the bits where there is hardly any stones, and they come out in force when there are many stones. I have to

respect them. I've got three stones now in my hand. I spotted a fourth. It's a tiny one. It was calling to me. It's like an arrowhead. It's going to be a poor. Even though it's an arrow, like a dart, it's going to be hard to hit the stone pole with that one. If I could hit the stone pole with that one, I'd say it's worth two. And here's a fifth one. Again, another almost arrowhead shaped one. Well, these fly fit comfortably into the palm of my small hand, so that should give you an idea of how little the projectiles are going to be this time. Well that's a nice size 126.

That's a better size, I'm going to start with that one and I think we're safe. The floodlights are on in the wreck, usually Tuesday night football training. My daughter's football training's been cancelled, maybe there's some grown-ups playing. And here we are, coming towards the stone pole. Fabled but real. It's a fable and it's real. There's a nice stone there, I'm just going to clear that one. That's a nice big one. No, not as big as it looked, it's quite flat. So I've got seven stones. The wolf is getting excited by the stones and a bit caught up. My bottom is showing, luckily my coat's covering it. Right, this one's going to have to skim, Wolfie, stop.

That one didn't hit but that one didn't count. Right, here we go. That one didn't get too far enough. One out of two. Missed. One out of three. One out of four. Oh, drop one. One out of five.

One out of six. That's predicted. The arrowhead one got nowhere near. Yeah, I'm out of practice. One out of six. Bad luck. But, of course, if you go to gofastastrike.com. That's predicted. The arrowhead one got nowhere near. Yeah, I'm out of practice. 1 out of 6. Bad luck. But of course, if you go to gofasterstrike.com slash badges

you can nullify the effects of that bad luck by signing up for a monthly batch. Good luck. Otherwise, bad luck will come to everyone who listens to this podcast. But maybe especially the person producing this podcast.

I have to say, I've been inundated with emails from people saying, what's happened to stone clearing? I can't even count them, there's so many. So if you're one of those many people who've emailed in, like telegraph pole, pole, telegraph Pole, Pole, Telegraph Pole, Pole, that's a hyphenated pole, Pole. I hope this will assuage you.

Please stop the emails asking me to do more podcasts. I'll do them when I can do them. Come on. 365 podcasts last year, and it's not enough for you. 156 in total, even though it was 365 last year. Still, you're clamouring for more. You'll miss me when I'm gone.

That's all I'm going to say. So, coming round the corner and I'm fully expecting some extreme stone stars is here so I'm gonna pick up a couple of stones for the for the main kernel is a nice one bit buried there beneath the path can't get it then have my trowel with me and the wall progressing quite nicely along here let's put these into the wall well if we don't grab, that one's gone right through the fence. That's a shame. That one's a bit better And again some seepage here. It's a sad thing to see

Stones moving back towards the field Some regret they're being moved towards the field. They want to be back where they belong. rather they belong off the field. I'm going to do a little quick bit of tying. That main cairn, looking less and smaller and smaller every time I come to it. I think some of them grab souvenirs. It's sickening, but understandable. These stones are cursed if you take them off the field. They cannot cure cancer. Just because

I was cured of cancer, that's a special case due to my close work with the stones. You can't just turn up and expect your cancer to be sorted out by taking some of these stones home with you. Please don't do that. Right. Coming

up to the ditch that destroyed the Tories. The by-election results you may think, oh is that to do with old Richie Sunak not giving the correct policies now? It's to do with old Richie Herring. Putting no stones in on a daily basis. Patiently waiting for the moment when Brexit is over. When the Tories are consigned to the dustbin of history. Where they belong. Also Labour. No political bias in this podcast.

And the Liberals and Reform and UKIP, all of them. The Greens, that's still alright. And one day it'll just be the Rock Party. Picked up a nice roundy for the Ditch and Stop Brexit, just off the pathway. Again, done a very good job down this slope. Hard to find a single stone. And left clear of the Fataun Fatafi. Just for now. And let's give the... Let's just make sure the ditch and stop Brexit does its job. Pick up a few bits of shrapnel here.

Goose. Ponk in its way. Oh, look at that, five of them. Hear that? That's nature. And the ditch has been fed. Thank you. Have you heard that? The ditch can speak to those who have got a deep bass voice. Thank you Richard, you are my favourite. It's all right mate. Anything for you, anything for the ditch that stopped Brexit. If you stop Brexit you deserve all the stones you can get. All right let's see if we can give the alpha and omega N a bit more respect. Now we're not under the kosh. And there's a couple of nice little stones here that I think we can get on. Onto the scree. It's really a scree of stones here rather than... I think my initial stone didn't really hit.

But there we go, it's a nice scree. I mean they're all turning into sc turning into screes and the mushroom I thought was a stone but I think it's a mushroom I think it's a stone oh no it's a stone let's put that one as well hard to tell sometimes mushrooms and stones especially if you're on mushrooms um head we're heading down Ducat'sage. Time to look at your emails. They're not the ones saying when's the next episode coming up. It's now. That's your answer. We have Dusky... ...Plainlight. Dusky Plainlight has been in touch.

And... Dusky Flamelight has been in touch. And they, I don't know if it's a man or a woman or how they identify, they say, Rich, hi, I am a female, Dusky. Yeah, I do know now. And I will very much enjoy full penetrative intercourse with you. Well, it's not going to happen, Dusky. But I understand that won't happen. You're right. It won't happen now, Matt.

But I just wanted to say I really missed the podcast in January and February. Well, they're back now. And I had to flip my bean to Brian Bramble's podcast instead, which is very unpleasant. It's called Dusky. It doesn't mean you have to be all sexy and stuff. It's not the place to be sexy. But I do hope you're back soon.

And thanks for all the 7.13 podcasts that I do not use, totally for pornography. Sorry, that's just the first one out of the bag, I don't know how that happened. Right, anyway, we're back near the house. We're just coming into land. It's been a learning process I guess coming back to the Stone Dragon podcast. Just checking there's no traffic coming. Oh there's a car but it's far enough away. And in we go. We're back home. The cat's going in the catwalk, the kids are eating their dinner. It's time for me to bid you adieu so that my family never find out what's going on here. I love you all, not you dusky, I don't like that. Listen to the f'tonf, my friend, And they for halfing ye a merry dance. Don't listen to the birdf'n the stones. And they in turn are listening

to ye, my friend, my fine friend. Stone Clearing with Richard Herring starred me, Richard Herring and Wolf of the Dog plus too many stone stars here to mention. The music is by Matt Cofgrave. The voice of the Batons is Michael Fahey. Listen to the stones, my friend, and they foul thing ye a merry dance Don't listen to the birds and trees, don't listen to your under listen to the flow

listen to the soul and they in turn fell To ye, my friend, my fine friend