Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 157

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Chapter 157 - Ye Ftone Fettee. It's 8.38am on 18th April 2024 and the first recorded stone clear in almost two months, so most of the podcast is the reading out of the thousands of aggrieved emails that Richard definitely got about his absence, not none like you thought. The end may be in sight though for the podcast, but that is not a reason to give up on life, for your faviour might return at any time if you believe in him enough. Plus a dog fight (unrecorded).

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Whoopie coming! Did always do that before the podcast. Clear your throat first. It's 8.38. Er, the 18th of April, was it? What? 2020 what? Four? No. Um, and chapter one, five, seven I believe,

Wolfie's going crazy, hello darling. He's going crazy. I just gotta learn love with that beard. Hey man, let's go for a walk. I haven't seen you so much. I wonder if you can stay in with your grandparents. Not literally my parents in there. Maybe your grandparents as well. We don't know how the problems came about. So I'm in due to beiny, Walsall, which is partly why there haven't been loads of podcasts

recently. It's obviously my mail, but I've been unindated, unindated, inundated with emails I just read you some of them just people where's the podcast come on I need podcast what go back to daily podcast please this one's from wing mirror MOT sorry MOT wing mirror I just read is there sorry gotta be careful these days. Um, he does have a MOT wing mirror. Where's the podcast? I expect to have a podcast. Well, it's very entitled of you.

You know, I've got other stuff to do. This is a big platform, so I should advertise the fact that I'm going on tour with my stand-up show can I have my ball back? I mean it won't interest you it's about organic stuff no need to panic. Oh Wolfie no wonder you wanted to go out so quickly. That's a big wee isn't it? Here's an email from Fence Gables. Fence Gables. I just have difficulty reading it. Where's the podcast? Could I get it please? You know, there's countless emails here. I could just go on through my inbox just reading out messages from people who just have come to expect this as a right rather than as a beautiful pleasure to come along when I see fit. For I am the way, the truth and the light. I'm not saying I'm the new stone Jesus. That is for you to say. Oh my goodness look at the crops! I can't

believe it. It's like in being in a different place there as high as me! Rape seed as high as a man. Let's get a photo of this wolf just in case. It's a beautiful day I have to say. Absolutely gorgeous day. Look at that blue sky, look at that dog, look at that Yeah, so I've got a coat on. I probably didn't need to. A little yesterday I went for a walk and I didn't put a coat on. It was really cold, even though it was sunny today. You know, you can't judge. I've put a stone on the Afronomic again, don't worry about that.

And there's a nice little uncropped bit here with some nice stones on just just clear these off. The future of stone clearing of course uncertain. Sometime in the summer we are going to be moving not too far away I mean I would say a drive away from here but will it be a drive I'm prepared to take to walk a dog, you need to walk a dog. So all of those who think, oh you know, where's my stand clearing podcast? Make the most of what you've got. You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

And well you know, because I haven't done it for a bit, you probably do not, you've got till it's gone and it seems for most of you, it doesn't really matter. But you know, I know there are some people out there wanting to get to the advanced level lessons still on intermediate. Despite doing a podcast a day every day last year I don't know how maths works that's not my job that's for the mathematicians to work it out my job is just to clear stones get this job done and of course I'm hopeful that the field will be clear the stones by July, August, whenever it is we go, and my

job will be done. We can move on to clearing stones in the big city, the big city we're moving to. Compactably it's a big city. There's a lovely big area here that the crop hasn't taken in. I have actually purchased a metal detector, which is something I want to do for a long time. I've done it for my son, ostensibly. That's the excuse. He's got very interested in archaeology and digging things up. I've been not very interested. He's expressed a small interest in it and we dug some stuff up in the garden at my parents. No use for stones of course, but it might be a good cover, that's what I thought. That's why I jumped at the idea because I could come out looking like I'm looking for metal but while I'm

doing that could be clearing stones so I can get permission from the farmer. I don't know how I do that. Then that could be a good way of substitute. You have to use the modern, a lot of people resist this, but you have to use modern tools in order to facilitate this work i know there's a whole load of you out there think no stone clint should be done naked without tools without clothes unshod but i say we move on if that's a schism in the movement if that we have to have wars between the various factions to sort this out. I've been reading about the beginnings of Christianity, all the different versions of Jiff that there were, of course the stone Jiff is the real Jiff. And that one won out in the end for most of us, but a few people still

clinging on to this idea that he was interested in souls or something, being good rather than just moving stones, moving big stones from tombs, by fissures of men. That's about stones. of men. That's about stone. Let here's that sin cast the first stone. I mean how many fucking clues do you need you idiots? You Baptist idiots. Wolfie. How we doing wolves? It's very peaceful out here. The problem of course is with this high crop. It's very hard to see what we've done. Get up here. Let's take this off for the moment. You've got a tangled up in you. Go and do a poop if you want. It's very hard to see the stone stars approaching. Many of them are tiny women, old women as well, so it makes it easier for them to sneak. Wolfie's eating a bit of the crop.'s not on Wolfie. If it's organic no need to panic if it's not chuck the twat.

I was on the Russell Howard podcast as we've actually forgot the first rule of stone clearing. Unbelievably it's been so long since I've been out here. First rule of stone clearing of course there are no rules to stone clearing. It's been so long since I've been out here. First rule of stone-clowing, of course, there are no rules to stone-clowing. It's the clever first rule, second rule. Make sure you take all your rubbish home with you if you're having a picnic out here. No need to... No need to make a mess. Just have a nice bit of flint. I mean it's mainly flint, this is a nice flat bit. This will be a good skimstone.

The ground actually nicely is kicking using my foot, that's an intermediate method to kick the stone out of the claggy ground. All things excited. Can I get this one out with my foot? I don't know where my trowel has got to actually. I have got a new archaeological tool I should bring it out but it's quite fearsome. Looks a bit like a knife, where's the the undergrowth has got big again I can't even see where the cairn here is I feel it's there. No no click. Well the new cairn has begun. A, the new can has begun. The new can has begun. Oh,

jumping around the place. Erm. Ugh. I was just clearing a stone on the edge there, it was already off the field, but I felt it wasn't far enough so I kicked it. It was a bit of a weak kick. Did send the stone a little further off,

not as far as I'd wanted. I wanted it to go into a bit of a weak kick, did send the stone a little further off, not as far as I wanted, wanted to go to the base of the trees. But we are getting some good stone clearing out here, I haven't mentioned all of them, probably you've been over here, most of them go, here's a nice one. Into the base of the trees, can't wait for those trees to topple under the weight of a million stones, got till January, till July to make that happen. Well you know if we if we are going to finish this soon I will miss you guys. You know the community, the emails I've been getting from you. I don't appreciate the the photos of young women that have been pouring in to tempt me away from the world of stone to the world of flesh

I'm stronger most of the time than don't send those into herring967.gmail.com If you want to have a look at that tour about filling my own stone, Suncream does get a mention. I'm just going to attempt to... This advert on this podcast alone could sell upwards of two tickets. So can't work out if it's selling well or I mean it's not selling great it's selling okay in some places some places it's sold out can't work out if it's better than usual or not yet we'll see. My appeal remains for some

reason quite limited like I'm not just producing constantly amazing mainstream content, which I am, that's what I'm saying, that's my point, it's sort of weird that, you know, Paddy McGuinness that's selling tickets for £80 and, yeah, they're a stone clearer guy. That's the power of the stone stars eat and the forces in the behind the scenes me and Liz Truss the greatest people of our generation somehow the PR machines of these you know foggy hidden hidden... I don't know what they are called. Well, it's a stone-sarzy essentially. Stone-sarzy doesn't like Liz Truss. Partly because they're called Liz Truff. She insists on that. And still a few, somehow a few people get through the net though the net chaos that catches the millions and you know about 100 people come see me over ago so uh that's good news oh come on so come see the two of you can you can, but don't be sad.

I know a lot of people are going to probably feel like they should end their life when this podcast ends. I can see that to a point, Wolfie's got caught up in the rapeseed crop here. I managed to go right round about four bushes so I've had to let her off again. Don't kill yourself, if you do kill yourself, if this finishes please don't mention my name in the search. Someone has to wade through all this, find this bit and say like he encouraged and I'm not encouraging, I'm encouraging you to do whatever you want to do but not bring me into it. And I'm not sure life will be worth living for

any of you once this is gone. So you know, but there's always the chance, so there's always hope. However, even if I die myself and pass on from this realm to the realm of stones it's a chance I'll return like stone G50 I'll roll back the stone might not be straight away might be three days might be three years I might just come back 50 years on suddenly you'll get a little ping, your notifications, but there'll still be podcasts in 50 years time, and there'll be another Stone Crane podcast there for you. I have returned for I am the Way, the Truth not sure, I can see why people haven't already missed this. But we're not going to do a long one today, we're just heading across to the main ken.

It's actually now really hard to sit there. It was a nice bit where the crop hadn't grown. It's now, the ground is thick. I don't know what they do with rapeseed oil. But they're going to make a lot of it here today. I feel like probably one plant is probably only makes a drop though, right? It might even just be one bottle of rapeseed oil. This is made from this field. makes a drop though right it might even just be one bottle of rapeseed oil

this mate from this field can't be a lot of oil in one of these things squeezing it now nothing need a find at least one stone for the main kit absolutely this is like a brick wall of yellow and green and no bricks. I cannot even see. Ah, here's the stuff. I'll put this along a little. So we've come along a little bit, we'll put it on the wall. Part of the tech end.

Growing nicely. There's a little fella who's rolled off, I think at some point. He's back on. Absolutely looking pathetic, that's the ken the ken smaller than when I started but longer midges in the air whoopee whoopee well hopefully there was a bit of an incident there with the dog, luckily it was mainly friendly and then I think I pressed the wrong button on the phone, I'm worried I've deleted something but we'll see. We'll see what happens, you missed an incident but it was mainly playing

and then it got a little bit argy-bargy Bit of dribbling from Wolfie on to another dog, wasn't it? You saw another doggy Come on Don't know what I was saying. That's a letter off the lead and like I said, couldn't see the stoned starsey I think that was Carla who used to walk our dog In their lunchtime walk and in their lunchtime walk and I don't think she's one of the stone stars but it's always the last person you suspect so I think it is she is one of the stone stars so now I suspect I don't think it is. Oh! I am trapped in a paradox like Star Trek little stone in the path there looks like it might be part of a piece of Roman

pottery but off it goes. Yeah, so you know, nice to be back, it's a gentle reintroduction. We've had very little singing, not much going on. not much going on and looking out over these fields wondering what treasures lie beneath them I can find my metal detector and then just throw to the side of the field when I find them because of course if it's organic and if it's not, chuck the tot you can't even take, I guess man-made objects and come off the field

see the fields are on. see, it feels wrong. Right, coming up to the ditch to stop Brexit. And then I've got a couple of... slightly bigger than shrapnel, but not much bigger. The pickings are slim. Flim pickings. There it goes. in there it goes. I should have left my, I took my headphones off when the fight began and of course as a good reporter of everything on the field I should have left them on to

capture every moment of that debacle. But there we go, we live and learn until we do Alright, Alpha and Omega Can, nice little, there's more stone on there. Just time for some more emails as we head back home. We've unduck its passage back to the real world, you live in. And... Purple Bin... Easy Jets... Purple Bin Easy Jets has been in touch. That was probably Purple A... Purple A Bin... Purple A Bin...

Easy Jet... I'm guessing that's how you pronounce it. Don't know where they're from. Hi Rich, it's me, Purple Bin, Easy Jet, I'm from Croydon. Though originally I'm from Borenwood, so it's yeah it's that's why that's why I've got an unusual name and just to say, I hope you're back on the airway soon. I completely understand that you can't. You know, that we are lucky to get what scraps lie beneath thy table, for thy are the way, the truth and the stone. Thank you, Purple Abin. And as much as I dream and pray every night that you will return,

every morning when you're not there, I understand. But I must be patient and not alter it like all the other people who see this podcast, who I'm sure have just been emailing me constantly, where's the next podcast? You're purple bin, you are so right. Can't tell you how 100% correct you are there. Just, I can't, you know, it's like, there's so many emails, even though they're digital,

I have to wade through them every morning. It's fucking insane. Anyway, Richard, keep up the great work, or don't, do what you like. Obviously, it's up to you. You know, some people might say this idea, run its course anyway, so it's good if you're gonna have to stop it.

But other people like me would say no That is not correct. That's deeply wrong Needs to go on at least another thousand episodes to get good Get really good Right, well, thank you Um, I gave a back-handed compliment, but I'll take the compliment that came with it. We're back home, wolves. Back to our real life. Back to pretending just to be a regular dog. Okay? Can you do that? Let's get you some food. Just pretend you're a normal dog rather than the most special dog on this earth.

A dog with a new stone teeth, if I'm not saying that's me. the dog of the new stone jeeper if I'm not saying that's me. Though it is my dog. Anyway, thanks for listening. See you again next time whenever that might be. For I am the Lord of the stone fetters. And I'll lead you all wherever you may be, and I'll lead you all. Tone for tea. dance. Don't lift unto the bird and tree, don't lift unto your underpants, lift unto the stone, lift unto the stone, and they in turn liftifed to ye, my friend, my fine friend. Stone clearing with Richard Herring starred me, Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog. Plus Carla the dog walker was there as well and her dog was one I've forgotten the name

of but nearly got attacked by Wolfie. Plus Carla the dog walker was there as well and her dog as well I've forgotten the name of but nearly got attacked by a wolfie. The music is by Mike Cofgrave, the voice of the batons is Michael Cochrane. Listen to the thorns my friend, and they f sing, Ye merry dolls. Don't listen to the birds and trees, Don't listen to your underarms. Listen to the stones, Listen to the stones, And they in turn, foul-livered to ye, My friend, my fine friend.