Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 159

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Chapter 159 - Buffineff Af Ufual. It's 16.48 on 1st May and there are a lot of stones to clear between now and our August deadline and that's without having a dog with the squits, a child with scarlet fever and a weird dizziness. But the stones must be cleared and boy are about 23 of them cleared today? Yes they are. Will rape seed ever be renamed? Can it hurt a dog? And how big is a gorilla's penis? All questions that are posed without being answered today. And great news for all fans of San Franciscan wrestlers/Batman villains.

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Hello my fine friends, it's 1648, it's the first of May 2024, Chapter 159 of course, that and we're getting down to the furious business today of getting this click feel free before we move house. Look it's not gonna be till August there's plenty of time. I know a lot of you are emailing in saying Ridge come on what have you achieved in six years? How do you expect to do? You haven't even done the outside yet how do you expect to do that and all the middle by August? Well August is the deadline my friends and you know there's a couple of stones to clear I can come back. I'm not moving far away but I'd like to move to a new field. If we time this right, just in time for when we move on from being intermediate to advanced, we'll be in a new field, a difficult

field I think. Maybe one with no stones, that's the most difficult field to clear or just one stone but it's buried depth for 12 feet and you have to find it without a stone detecting machine. A little bit dizzy today again not very happy about this I think it's just tiredness but coming and going so hopefully I can complete my queft before my untimely demise but we'll see if I die another stone clearer will stop up and take my place I know that and there's a few of you waiting for that moment it's not going to happen. Right here we are on the stocian stocian looking quite beautiful today the the rape seed plants taller than me now. I nearly picked up a dog poo there, I saw a good stone and it turned out to be a dog poo. Again, I can't say it too often, don't do that.

Wolfie! Oh, you're there. Wolfie's dashed ahead of it. Thought she'd disappear. Don't pick up dog poo. It's a track, a trick a trick a trick a trick and a trap it's a trick I can't speak it's gonna make today's podcast difficult maybe just about to have a stroke or something you know it's possible or if you see the poo

The stone star they will put dog poos out as a trick to get your wolfies just on a poo, just right where... Oh no, that's a horrible one, wolves. That's the softest, nastiest poop I've seen from a wolfie in a while. It's a couple of solid bits surrounded by a sea of diarrhea I think I might leave this one to pick up on the way out because it's a bit too gross so I'm gonna put that there come back for it and I'm gonna bury I'm gonna use straw to bury the more liquidy bits of this so it's nasty you're not here to... I know some of you are here because you love dog poop but remind me to pick

that up before I leave. I've played a few stones though while we're doing that. You alright wolves? No wonder you wanted to come for a walk. Wolfie was asking and that diarrhea is the answer to the question, can I go out because I have diarrhea. So yeah, I'm feeling a little bit shaky I have to say myself. So, illness is on the house of Herring. My son Ernie has scarlet fever which sounds like something from the Victorian days but somehow he's picked that up. I think I've just got a general bug. But this dizziness is coming back every now and again.

Just make me worried about something else other than my testicles, which you know, can't be a bad thing. Oh, Wolfie doing another poo! Ah, wolves! Wolfie struggling to get anything out, just liquid coming out there. For all you poo, yeah, I mean, I don't even have to really cover that up. Just seeped into the soil, I will cover up. Oh, Wolfie! And she's dragging a bum against the floor oh poor girl what have you eaten we're not here to discuss your bottom darling

but if needs must if needs must clearing stones all the way worried that bending down to pick up stones might exacerbate this site oh oh my goodness! So the pigeons just flown from the center of the... wish I'd got the picture of that... they just all flew off in different directions. A poor tent of something. So we're just at the bit where the crops aren't really growing so this is a great chance to get rid of a few more of the stones from the edge before we move on a bit more towards the middle.

Of course we've only done the edge really of about, not even probably half the field really. I think maybe once early on I took you all the way around the field but we do often just do this brief cut across which isn't even a quarter. If we go up to the top of the corner and cut through past the care in the middle of the field I guess that's a prox of half. So I do have to get round to the other side of the stocian. You may say I'm a dreamer. I think I'm going to get that done by August but I am the only one. But I still think I can do it. A little dog pig there, not picked up by their owners or hidden by their owners.

It's turned white, that's why it looks like a stone. It's a very clever trick from the stone starcy. But otherwise business biff-niff has, as usual. Just doing my best. I'm walking past some stones now i'm not i'm not in a rush more heifed left please as the stone clearers of old did say and yeah even if you are feeling a bit giddy even if you're feeling a little bit ill as i am today And yeah, even if you're feeling a bit giddy, even if you're feeling a little bit ill, as I am today, that's no excuse. The stones don't understand illness and they will not count. They don't understand death. They understand being worn away gently by the rain. That's the only thing they understand.

by the rain that's the only thing they understand but no piece of stone is ever truly just destroyed just turns into sand I guess if you eat the sand I guess then poop it out is that destroyed it? No, just come straight out wouldn't it? that's why stone is our superior. That one's deeper, I haven't got anything to dig anything out with here. The tire tracks of some kind of piece of farm machine maybe the one from earlier this month, last month. Oh that's a nice stone, look at that, that's a nice medium there, we're not getting many of those at this stage. We'll be chasing the stone and that one can go the medium, a couple of little ones and the medium goes towards the trees doesn't quite land in the trees but is off the field at least. Nice bit of chunk of stone there at the size

of Richard Herring and Hermione Granger Fist but with more wallop than Hermione could manage I think. If you got hit in the face by Hermione and got hit in the face by that brick I think you'd know got hit in the face by Hermione and got hit in the face by that brick I think you'd know which was which. Neither would be a particularly pleasant experience. So I think we're going to keep it short today now that Wolfie's pooped her guts out. She's still quite jolly. She'll have eaten some mouse or something. Wouldn't you? It's your own fault. Someone did warn me. Thank you for emailing in. I just checked the email. It was Nettor Dockley.

I think her name was. To say that rapeseed can be quite dangerous for dogs. So I'm making sure Wolfie's not eating rapeseed. But she doesn't seem to run amongst the rapeseed actually very much. Hence her pooping on the edge of the field. So maybe she appreciates that this is her enemy. Looks like a beautiful, it's a beautiful plant, dark green leaves, beautiful yellow flowers. Pretty horrible

name. They should change the name of the plant or the violent unpleasant act. I guess they won't, it's just the way people are. Woobie! I'm really in a maze of rapeseed here and I don't know what's coming around the corner. Woobie! I'll keep Woobie away from any marauding animal scum. Very difficult job when you have an ill child and a non-ill child to keep both of them. A little stone there off the field, hope that's not going to hit anyone. Wolfie, come here! Can't see, that's a dangerous thing to do, I shouldn't have done that, it was a tiny stone though. It's difficult to, you've got to take one kid to an activity but have someone with the other kid who's not allowed to go to activities.

I don't know, what can you do? It's not good, is it? But so imagine, the help, little help from our friends but I've got to get back to look after my scarlet fevered Victorian urchin back at home I just pick up a couple of two or three just little bits of shrapnel they're like the fingernail of a you know siz. Not that sort of size, but that sort of flatness. And almost that shape. One of them is small. It could be a little fingernail.

And then a thumbnail and a middle fingernail of a reasonable sized gorilla. Of course gorillas have very small penises. But I think their fingernails are probably bigger than humans. Definitely than my fingernails. I've got the dainty hands of a small wizard. So, yeah, a few piles of dung or something there some kind of straw or dung hopefully the harvest of this crop will come soon and we'll get a chance to really get to grips with the whole field and I think it my work done I'll be able to see a 24-7, 365. I've got a handful of shrapnel,

one of them is bigger than about the size of a very rectangular gorilla penis I would say. But yeah, I'm not feeling well, Wolfie's not feeling well, Ernie's definitely not feeling well. So this will just be me slightly moaning, clearing a few stones. But everyone says it's not possible. Well look, even just in my hand we're six stones closer to finishing this thing and that's not including at least probably double that number have gone off. There's a tiny pebble I'm going to take it that is the size of a more like a baked bean size, maybe a giant baked bean. But it's got to come off it might as well come off now

usually I like to leave those tiny ones till very late but you know soon you get them off and of course these tiny stones are very good just filling up the holes in the can you may think does it matter if there's a hole inside the can if that yeah it does it just gives a more solid base and you can build a top it. It's all good. It's all good. I can see my other can from here, the one that's up the hill. I'm cheating on this field with another field as badgers will know. Some would

say the other field is my my greater love but that cairn is a long way. There's some big stones up there but it's a long way to walk. It's up a hill but I But I can clearly see my cairn. Like a little white spot on the back of Green Hill. Excuse me. And yeah, it's going to be a quick one today. And yeah, it's going to be a quick one today. And not that much knowledge imparted, but sometimes the knowledge comes in the silences. Just found another tiny stone just in the pathway, really, and here's another. These are did fodder for the ditch to stop Brexit. did fodder for the ditch to stop Brexit.

Hopefully this ditch will also stop the flights to Rwanda. Yeah, picked up a lot of little bits of scree here, just some scree. Maybe three of them into the ditch, two of them onto the Alphanomega, and then we'll make our way our way home it's a quick one I never promised you a rose garden I promised you some stones that's all I've ever promised you you've had your fill and it's just a reminder oh that's a nice one so let's get that one off get me out fridge I'm going to, oh and my friends, my friends, yeah there's some friends who say one of those is a leaf one of your friends is just a leaf. Izzy, you tricked me too. So lots of stones here, three into the ditch to stop Brexit and maybe a sarcastic

amount for the alphanomagican here, good handful, six, six stones, six tiny stones. six, six stones, six tiny stones. Oh, but yes, I'm not, it was a mistake to try and do a podcast today. My current state, I think I'm gonna get through it alive. If I should die before my hand has gleaned this teeming field of stones. Please carry on my work. I've had a good life. I'm hoping there's a lot more stones to clear, but one day I'm going to clear my last stone. That could be it. Those six could be my last stone. We're heading down the Duckett's Passage. So time to time to look for more of your emails. We mentioned that one that actually did come in. Now to look at some more that did come in.

I mean that's sort of a weird thing to say. Not Whole Creeper. Not Whole Creeper. I mean that sounds like a villain in Batman or something or a wrestler hello it's me not whole creeper I'm a villain in Batman and a wrestler I'm pretty good with names I work in San Francisco so you may not have heard of me but well if any listeners from San Francisco then probably you will know not whole creeper. Good to have a celebrity on board I heard you talking about your listeners from San Francisco there then probably you will know not all good to

have a celebrity on board I heard you talking about your death on this week's podcast and I know you plan to be buried beneath your cairn that's still is that still the plan actually well hopefully that's not coming for a while either buried beneath all my ashes just dumped unceremoniously on top I would prefer it if a chamber was dug beneath the pyramid like structure of my main ten I can't Kirtcheval as I sometimes call it but whatever my family I believe provision in my will whatever my family feel is appropriate. If my wife knew about stone clearing I think she would disapprove.

I think she would find the idea of scratching my ashes and burying my body there last book. But it will be there in my will for her to discover. I'll reveal my secret identity. It will probably take her a long time to process the lies and betrayal that I've been forced to go through to mate with her and marry her only. I need a cover and hopefully she'll be upset only for a while about that. I appreciate why I had to behave that way and that I loved her in a way, in my own way. I came to love her or at least enjoy putting my willy in her. Hopefully she'll never listen to this podcast. Right, well back home wolves,

this podcast. Right, we're back home wolves. Do you want some food? You are not a stone wolfie and you need sustenance. Or fuf-du-numpf, fuf-du-numpf, you're gribbling. I mean after you're pooped, do you really want to eat more? You've hardly eaten your morning meal. This looks a bit dodgy, this stuff I'm feeding you hopefully it's not that wash your hands always wash your hands after you've been on the field unless you pick up scarlet fever out there and yeah enjoy your photo clearing my fine friends my finest friends my finest friends Goodbye from me and all the stones. See you flag hags. Bye. Don't lift them to the bird and tree, Don't lift them to your underpants, Lift them to the stone, I'll live for you, my friend, my fine friend. Photone clearing with Richard Herring starred me, Richard Herring.

Slightly ill and wolfy the dog with slight diarrhoea. No stone stars eat eat what can I say the music is by Mike Coughgrade the voice of the photons is Michael Fahean Listen to the thorns my friend and they fowl sing ye a merry dance. Don't listen to the birds and trees, Don't listen to your underarms. Listen to the stones,

Listen to the stones, And they in turn shall live unto ye, my friend, my fine friend.