Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 161

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Chapter 161 - Keir Ftarmer - It's 8.40am on 30th May 2024 and Richard Herring's sanity is resting on a knife edge, but join him as he sings too many medieval songs and tells you not to vote Labour and gives a preview of his new podcast about dog fhit. Do you need to send help? Are you even listening? If a podcast is made in a field of hemlock and no one downloads it, does it make a sound? What's the poem with hemlock in it? You can bid for stone-clearing items on eBay here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/herring1967

Stone clearing with Richard Herring come on then wolves my fine friends hello welcome to chapter one-fifth one one-fifty one it's 8.40 on the 30th of May, 2024. And the wolf's heading out to the life on the Stocean wave. Checking I've got a poo bag, I've got something that'll do. Right, up top before I forget, I know there are many new fans of PhotonClearing out there who I presume have listened to every single echoed boat. If you go on eBay this week, the week of this record, about five days left from the 30th of May, so up to about the 4th of June I guess. There is a Stoneclear membership card if you have a 4 or 6 I think it was.

And also all the limited edition 1 of 10 signed of all the Scout badges that we did for the stone clearing Kickstarter during lockdown. So you can bid for those. I mean they are literally priceless, but there will be a price put upon them. Oh, it's a big stone here, what's happened here? That's just in the pathway. Someone's knocked a wall down. So do head along there. eBay Herring 1967 is my handle. Do bid on those. All the money will go to make more stone clearing podcasts.

Very expensive to make these obviously. It may go to other podcasts, but not the Snooker, don't worry there is a Snooker membership club there's not but I know you won't be just in that, you have to choose, you've made your choice. You are a tone clearer, you're a flag hag. And evermore shall be so. Just picked up a nice stone slightly off the field there are no rules to stone clearing that's one of the first rules second rule you must only you mustn't bring stones onto the field to place in the

cairns but rules are made to be broken there are no rules and that's going on the alphanomag can or near to to it hidden by nettles at the moment. Big news is Keir Fatahma has outed himself as a photon clearer though the first rule of stone clearing there are no rules second rule of stone clearing you do not talk about being a stone clearer third rule of stone clearing is you do not talk about stone clearing and for Kier Fatama has talked about stone clearing and also once you've started clearing a field you must not stop clearing that field until it is clear. Now maybe Kirstama cleared his field, maybe he did, but it seems to me he probably didn't because it's impossible, it's impossible and then he's gone on to be Prime Minister and can you trust

a man like that who can't even finish the job that he set himself to clear every stone from a field or who deliberately chose a very small field so he'd be able to do it easily. And also even if you clear that field I think you should go on to another field. Once a photon clearer, always a photon clearer. Once a photon clearer, always a photon clearer, that is what Jeeva said once of a tone clear always of a tone clearer there you lay in it when you've made your bed your bed of stones lie on your bed of stones till you die and then it shall become thy funeral bower clear all the tones the winter time when the spring doth start to flower no with a stone once a photon clear always a clearer. That is what Gandhi said as he cleared the tones from the Indian foil wearing his Indian clothing. That's an old medieval hymn. Don't know how they knew

about Gandhi and don't know how they new about Jeeva, but there's all the predictions in those. I didn't even know Gandhi was a stone clearer until I heard that hymn, but obviously that was, we all know that tone clearer, that is what Mohammed said. They're all stone clearers. I won't go too much into that verse, just in case. All serving the, serving the fame God. We serve the fame God. The flown clearing God. He goes by many names.

Some call him Jehovah. Some call him Yahweh. Some call him... uh... Nip. Ha ha ha. That's from, uh, uh, religion people who going, some call him Thor, Thor not Thor. Some will call him Buddha and there are many more like Nefertut the Egyptian God. He is up for tone clearing. How do you think the pyramids got started? Anyway, I'm upset with Keir Starmer for outing himself and also not completing his task and I for one will not be voting for him. I'll be voting for whichever party just makes their only mission to clear all the

stones. They'll put people to work. All 18 year olds will be sent out into the fields to clear stones until all the stones are cleared. That's who I'm voting for. It's closest to the Tories I have to say at the moment but I have a feeling they might not get in, so I don't know if that's a wasted vote. But you have to vote with your conscience. So anyway, clearing some stones from a little patch where the crops aren't growing. It's always nice to find a patch like this. This is just in the corner by the Cairn in the Cornfield, which is so hidden by foliage.

I'm just chucking stones towards the general area where I remember it being. There goes one into the trees, base of the trees. Trying to set those trees down, remember? so far the trees are winning the battle, little bit of that little bit of the windmill, Roman fort, yeah it's a bit of pottery, still comes off off. So yes do pop along to eBay if you want to own those items. Do not vote for Kiestama. I may start up a party of my own if everybody listens to this podcast votes for that party then we probably will probably need a few more people to actually get in but once we're in everyone will be put to work in the field starting with the youngest people till they work themselves to death then we'll move up but new young people their place that's the beauty of people. Cannon fodder. Cairn fodder I think we'd have to call

them that's good. A dog walker told me that these bean like things growing out of the rapeseed are hemlock. I don't know if that's true but that is useful to know because if I'm about to be caught by the Phthone Phthafi, which is painful, I know I've been caught by one Phthone Phthafi, then I could just eat some of this and die. As though of hemlock I have drunk or emptied some dull opiate to the drains. Where does that go? What's the first line of that one? I think it's by Keith. Keith, not Keith, Keith. Keith, Keith. I wandered lonely as a cloud as though as hemlock I had drunk, or hunted some delopia to the drains.

To be or not to be, as though from luck I had drunk. Yeah, that's a bit, because I start dying. Oh, we're having to go through a forest of hemlock. Oh, I think my mind's going. I think it's going. Right wolves, you coming? You done a poop yet, wolves? I don't know, I'm asking you.

Wow, this is the path that's completely overgrown. I'm cutting across, we're doing a short walk today. Cutting across the path between the cairns and just hemlocked beans if that is the man wasn't lying to me just rubbing against me spreading that poison onto me I've had a good life I sort of feel I've done everything I had to do. The rest is just Adam's family jumbled and stone clearing I guess. I'll never stop stone clearing. I'll never stop it even when we move to town and find our stones. I'll find a way. But I'm sure we're clear this field. It's difficult to see any stones at the moment, I haven't seen one, a clearable one, all the way across this path, even the pathways, there's

a few bits of shrapnel, I'll come back for those later. You can see a stone star in the distance, it is very, this is like a maze of rape, as I said before, very hard to see the stones coming. And a few poppies popping up indicating as always at this time of year the spots on which previous stone clearings died. No coincidence that they're all just slightly off this central path, the ones I can see. A few Hasselhoffs, some not getting very far, none right in the middle. All these stone faces cut down, clear has cut down, just feet from the pathway.

I'll take a photo to demonstrate that to you. Oh, ones have a tone clearer, always have a tone clearer. But it's a beautiful time of year of remembrance, and these poppies do come up. Good poppies of course, because the way they pop, they pop up. They were the first pop-up snores. Go on! I'm just talking nonsense now. I mean, you know, does anyone listen? it, then does the stone clear even a glyph, if nobody's there to live on, if nobody's there to live on, the plants and the poppy've glyphened. But the words, the wise, wise words of the wisest wise man who has ever had wisdom

will flow away like a stream for a day and disappear over the horizon over the horizon do we change his head to F I don't know oh make the podcast in the field of rape and nobody downloads the podcast does that make the man simply mentally ill thing into him fell

on the brow of a hill Good question, a good question raised by that ancient song good question a good question raised by that ancient song again how do they know about podcasts you may ask well there are more things on heaven and earth that are dreamt of when you're drinking hemlock will be filing due to poop annoyingly for me I'd say that has to be cleared up could have done it anywhere else it's off the path a lot of people would leave this one but not old Richie Herring if you want to tune into my dog shit podcast Hey Rich, all your podcasts are dog shit. It's right on top of some nettles as well

very inconsiderate of wolf feet but I've managed to get over that. It's a tongue. I will tell you all the news about which dog fits need to be cleared which dog fits you can leave it's not such an ancient podcast that one so we generally say dog shit but do tune in for that I've got a bag of dog shit I've got a bag of dog shit in my finger well it's a rest it I've got the handle resting over my finger. I've got a bag of dog shit on my finger, and everything's gonna be okay. This is the perfect way for a dog shit collector to begin the day, picking up dog shit all the way.

This is gonna be the theme tune of that podcast. Hey hey hey, hey hey hey, hey we are not the monkeys, we are the Doug Shade Collectors. Oh Doug Shade Collecting Holiday, come on here wolves, don't eat that! The dead bird wolf is trying to eat the feathers off. My feather bird earth tit. Send help. Send help. Last night I dreamt I was dying.

Told my wife I went to bed and rang my mum. She said I was going to die. And you know, it wasn't the worst dream I've ever had I think it might be time to go. Right, all the ditch to stop Brexit don't let dog shit make you forget about the important work of the stone clearer. Just in time gets a small stone into the... I haven't cleared many stones today have I? Excuse me. Oh, fucking Aida.

Fucking Aida. I've picked up a couple of bits of shrapnel and small small medium to go on the Alfa and Omega Cairn. And we're back to where we began. Nearly unmoved began at my house. We're back to about 200 yards from where we began. But where we began the stone clearing I suppose, that aspect. Time to look at your emails. Time to look at your emails. All I can see is Nettles on my email list. The parents member of the Nettles family. They've had a lot of their emails read out.

I don't know if we should do it. Trampoline Sycamore has been in touch. Trampoline Sycamore. I don't know what country that's from. Hi Rich, it's me Trampoline Sycamore. I know you'll wonder what country that's from. It is Botswana or Botthwana if that helps you understand. Yeah I don't know. I understand but I don't really know where Botswana is in Africa, but I don't know much about Botswana. Are you alright Rich? I think all listeners are wondering if you're ok, or do we need to intervene? Look Trampoline, I am very much in control of what's happening here. You don't have to worry about me. It's not like I am reading out imaginary emails from people whose names I've made up from stuff I've just seen.

That would be crazy. I'm reading out, as you know, because you've sent an email on the blind. Some people say it sounds to me like you're just making up the emails. Often they refer to something that's happened in the podcast that hasn't even gone out yet. This is what I'm reading. This is from Blue Flower food bin. There's a doggie there. Come on. Well I can assure you my fine friend that that is not the case. All these emails, I can show you them if you want. I'll come round. These are all legit.

I'm fine, so you know. The things that people say about me are generally not true. Some of them are though. Mostly they're just made up things to try and discredit being made up by Brian Bramble. Tried to not talk about him, he's put custom very well of course. New Zealand fuck up the words, but you know, who wants those? No offence to my man in New Zealand this place. Oh shit my wife's right in the kitchen I've gotta go. I'm gonna hide in there. Just gonna put the dog shit in the bin here

I've got dog shit down my finger Hiding in the covered bin cupboard. I'm gonna say goodbye to my wife's tree right in the kitchen. She's gonna get me. All right. I'll see you around. Thanks for listening. I'm fine. Don't worry, don the bird and tree Don't lift them to your underpants Lift them to the stone Lift them to the stone And they in turn, I'll live for you, my friend, my fine friend. Photone clearing with Richard Herring. Stard me Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog. And a stone clearer in the distance and a man with a dog near the end. The music is by Mike Coughgrave.

The voice of the photons is Michael Faheem. And they foul thing ye merry does. Don't lif'n to the birth and treif, Don't lif'n to your underhand. Lif'n to the throne, Lif'n to the throne, And they in turn, foul-livered, To ye, my friend, my fine friend.