Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 163

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

Chapter 163 - Going for Ftones!. It's 9:20am on 21st June 2024 and the spectre of the end of the podcast hangs over us all, but for now we plough on (no pun intended as this is a feriouf podcaft). There's medieval fongs and some dog poo and the possibility that Richard has been tricked into advertising someone during this chapter. It's very hot and the hemlock is scratchy and the stones are tiny. So bufineff as ufual.

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. For the photons, they be our livelihood food. We'll clear them till our dying breath. The batons, they live upon the ground. And no one knows from whence they came. But everyone knows where fate goes And they will think their way to fame Hello, welcome to Potomac Learing 1-Fix-3 Just have to shut up for a second because there's a dog Come on, Moose, good girl Good girl, stay here

Morning Morning Come on, Moose. Good girl. Good girl. Stay here. Morning. Good morning. Good morning. Come on. Good girl. Come on. The photons. No one knows what they're made of. The photons. All who made them, Where from whence they come is a mystery.

We just know that the photons are there, And that, unlike us, they are free. That's an old medieval song, I'm sure you know that one. It's a bit hack, a bit of a common one, but sometimes you have to sing the hits. Welcome to Stone Clear and One, Six, Three. One, Six, Three. Jill Intermediate. It's about 9.20, a bit later. It's about 9.20 a bit later. I'm walking the news, I've got the kids up in school. It's the 21st of June.

In the year of the stone lord. 2024. And I just need a drunk smoothie. And I'm slightly billy-a-f. Billy-a-f. Right, Wolfs, I'm going to let you off. I can't see a thing. Come on, the crops are high, the crops are high, the heat is on, it's time for you, for you

to clear some stones, people are coming, everyone's bombing, trying to bomb the nice ladies from Poland as they're going for stones just found a stone I had to dive into the crops a little bit as though of hemlock I had drunk or emptied some dull opiate to the bones, drained the bones drains to be or not to be somewhere in there oh it's hot today it's I've just been stung by an Eto, Wolfie's doing a wee everything's happening and we're passing some nice blue flowers. There's a fithle, a fithle they call it Very hard to clear stones of course in this environment. A the heat B the heavy crop

That you have to fight your way through. There's a stone, let's clear the stone wolfies Do you poop in there wolves? Come we need to keep the poop up for the poop dog poop podcast crossover trying to get people over to listen to that one. Oh here you go she's pooping. She's found a nice place to poop. I've got a freezer bag. I'll use freezer bag as a doggy dog shit bag but I don't think I'm gonna need it today because she's pooping well away from the pathway in an area where the dog poop eating animals will find it and gobble that up. I'm not saying I eat dog poop. Oh another couple of bits of shrapnel. There's not much for a bit of dog poop there's all

desiccated dog poop that I nearly picked up. Do watch out for that one over there. Whoa, I should have brought some water out, it's way too hot. If I do dehydrate and pass away,'ve been now trying to get some smoothie but there wasn't much water in there. That was mainly solids. It's quite a solid drink my wife prepared for me, not knowing that I was coming out of stone clearing and needed as much energy as possible.

She doesn't know what I'm doing, she never will. She wouldn't approve, she hates stones. Or is at least not interested in them. But she wouldn't like it if she knew I just married her as a cover for my stone clearing head, she'd probably be upset about that. It's unlike one of those undercover policemen who end up having a relationship with one of the people they're kind of reporting on and have children with them, that's what I'm like one of those undercover policemen who end up having a relationship with one of the people they're kind of reporting on and have children with them. That's what I'm like. And you know, people generally frown on those guys, but doing an important job and needs must. I understand it.

I mean, I don't agree with what they're doing, but it's similar to what I'm doing. But except mine is right. what I'm doing is right. Oh, Wolfie, it's so hot! I might have to leave my last will and testament on this one, because I'm slightly worried. I won't be able to cope with this morning heat. Luckily it is the morning so I think the heat will not be quite as bad as it will be for my lunchtime with Stoneclear. It will not be recorded. Yeah, I don't know when the next chance I'll get to Stoneclear is. I'm out on the road with my stand-up tour which has got in the way and again my cover has become too successful and

will be away most days over the next month but I'll find some time for you guys. The other important ones in my life. A bit colder, it's a bit snotty. Sort of a weird combination of being much too hot and having a cold. What's going on? What's going on with that, stone gods? Why have they out-forefaken me? Nice daisies there, big daisies, my daughter can't believe there's big daisies like that. But there are, they're right in front of her face, I don't know why she can't believe it. I don't know why she can't believe it.

You know, I've grown to love them despite them just being a couple. But obviously the stones remain my priority. If I had to choose between clearing a stone and saving their lives, they might be filming this one day, Richard's choice. Then the stones, I will clear a stone, but whilst I can keep both going, obviously, if it was a choice to save their lives and there was no stones involved, I would save their lives. In that sense I've come to Catford, I've grown accustomed to their pegs and also their pieces it's a nice little patch here where i can clear a few stones because there's not going to be much stone clearing so i feel i should do a few here so i'm stopping the walk oh that one's a bit deep

in the ground can i get out with a kick i'm not wearing any socks i'm just wearing some running shoes which aren't ideal for that work. Splitting out a bit of snot there. Always do that, if you have snot in the way, get it out. If it's in the way, evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap-

evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap- evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap, evap for getting fit. It goes one year on, one year off for little Richie. And I need to pull it back a little bit. It's very important to survive, be alive. In order to stone clear. The tones, they are our friends. The tones are our enemies too they are all things to all men but the one thing they aren't is some poo. This is a sort of comedic version. First off, that's just for thumb. I just added by some wag. But it's true, they aren't poo. Stones are not poo. And poo is not stone.

Right, well so I'm going to put you on the lead because we're in the maze of Hemlock. We don't know what's coming round this corner. Could be a stone clear, could be a moorlock. This is where I saw the moorlock. Could be a baby on a horse could be some birds. That's just seen some birds flying out there. So we have to be ready at all times Wish I'd just drunk a pint of water when I came out. That would make all the difference difference. Right, across we go. We're going to brave this tangle wood of rape. And really very little in the way of stone. Sometimes you come to a little patch and you're about to come up to a clearing in the forest. And there may be some stones here that I can toss towards the shore. Here's a couple of bits that you'd hope this would be what you're doing. I think they're even too light to throw. Let's see if we can. The danger of throwing is you can't actually see what's around.

They're actually so light that I don't think they could do anyone any harm. They've gone towards the edge of the field, those three. Three bits as big as a fingernail. Not much thicker than the fingernail. And we're really just having to climb over the main thing we have to worry about here is just getting through the forest weird little beans poisonous beans So yeah the approaching date of our move is it's all still up in the air, it depends when the new house is ready but will I come back and carry on stone clearing? I mean I'm hoping, I'm still hoping it's hope I can finish the job. And as it is I can't really see any stones on this field

so they might all be cleared but once the crop has gone I will have a better view of that given that I haven't really even strayed very much into a good third of the field. I think it's unlikely I've cleared it. I mean when I say a third, that's a third that I've not even really been around very much. Obviously the vast majority of the middle of the field has also... you've listened to my cast, I've cleared the edges pretty well. Not really any really big stones there until the diggers come and push them upwards again

But we'll see when the crops gone we'll have a look we'll see what we falfi and We falfi what we falfi we falfi it very soon we falfi what we falfi We falfi it under the moon Wee fal-fee it, Barry Foon. Wee fal-fee what? Wee fal-fee. Wee fal-fee it under the moon. Wee fal-fee it around about noon. Wee fal-fee it with a baboon. Now, there's some fun stone clearing songs in the olden days. They're not all dirges. Lift unto the photons, my friend.

Like that one. They can be instructive. Obviously the songs are a way to pass down photon knowledge. What's this all wet here? There's a stone there but it's very wet. I feel it might be wet with the urine of a dog. I'm going to leave it for another time.

The stone should tell me if it's got urine on it. It's part of the contract between me and the stones, but often the stone won't tell you it's got dog urine on it for the fear that, correct fear that you won't clear it. That stone was staying tight lipped as you heard. It's neither admitting or denying. I've got nothing, I've got nothing from this excursion across. There's nothing for the main ken. I'm looking around me now, just seeing. Oh, I found one. Oh, is that stone? That's not, that stone, or is that soil? Nah, that's just soil. It's

just some stone. So I I mean this is ridiculous. This is what's going on to the cairn. The main cairn. And it is ridiculous. I'm going to take a photo of it to let you see how ridiculous it is. That's what that's everything I got from the walk across through the there's one slightly bigger stone than that but as I say covered in possible dog hearing so let's see if we can find the ditch that stopped Brexit this is the ditch this should finally get the Tories out of government. Maybe by the next time we do a stone-cleaning podcast the Tories Brexit will be a bad memory. Obviously, whatever government comes in next we'll all certainly

just reverse Brexit. I'd have thought straight out the door. I think the best thing to do is just we all just turn up to the European Parliament and pretend that this happened. See if we can get away with it. I think in hindsight it was probably a bad decision to do Brexit. I don't know what you guys are thinking. I was very much for it at the time, looking back. You know, pretty much the only reason to back Brexit is to not look like a prick. Now isn't it to go, no I was right, but about that. And it's gone really well. Found a stone in the path and that's a nice one. Again, all this is

probably the size of a baboon's. Finger down, second mention of the baboon in the podcast. You might think I'm on a bet with someone to say baboon as much as possible. That's four times now. If I had such a bet it would be five baboons I would need to say so you can discount that as a possibility. Oh it's too hot, the wolf is too hot, I'm too hot and I have a feeling it might be too hot for a midday walk. Do check out richardhone.com slash ball back slash tour if you would like to come to the tour. Oh and I should say there's more fantastic items on eBay as I add that finger there, baboon finger, oh shit I wasn't going to say it six times, to the, to the ditch that stopped

Brexit, the ditch that will stop the Tories. There are, if you go to eBay, Herring 1967, there's the membership badge number 3 and also the entire Scout collection of badges, limited edition, signed limited edition, I think it's number 4 of 10. It's also there. Got to find something for an alphanabrakan. I think I've spotted something. No, stone stars here today. Can I get that one out? I mean this is ridiculous.

I've got two of the smallest stones I've ever cleared. That's almost an insult to the alphanumeric Gods, but I'll have to do so I could find two little chips of flint. Right down we go. Stung by another nettle. Well, it's a quick one today. Just time for a quick email coming in from EasyJet. Oh, it's from EasyJet. It's actually from the company EasyJet. High-rich. Just want to say to your loyal listeners that they're planning on having a summer holiday. Why not use EasyJet to get the way you're going? It's easy. It's a jet. Everything in this knows in the name. It's quite cheap. We go to lots of places sometimes not the main airport but yeah

flights out of Luton hey hold on this isn't about stunt this is just an advert for easyJet they tricked me they tricked me too many times let's have a look we'll edit that out later because we're not this is not a commercial podcast head to easyjet.co.uk probably. We should know that really. That's what it says on the email. You know, just Google it. Google EasyJet, you'll find this. Poor, poor Asher. Let's have a quick look. Hi Undai. I didn't tell we were getting to this email later than usual. Hi Undai window. Hi Undai window has been in touch already from Japan. I bet you I'm from Japan, which window more surname in Japanese it means a doe that wins like a female deer. My question to you is what's the best airline to use if you're planning on going holiday? I'd say easyjet but you might have a different idea. I don't know, just you know, let's not look. Choose where you go and find the cheapest, that's what I'd say.

Slightly caught up in traffic here. We'll be getting a good gear. I'm using it to go to Belfast. The end of next bump. Someone wants to see the Titanic museum. Hopefully he's not going to want to go and see the Titanic, you know, that can have unexpected consequences. All right, we'll come up, it's all right. There we go, with a high-end window there. I don't think I'm going to do the EasyJet campaign to get to my loyal base of listeners,

who will do anything I say apart from stop sending in naked pictures of yourself and what they can continue to do really. Well that's it. Imagine if this is the last one ever and if your E& the Easy Jet is listening you know I'm presuming the checks in the post you will hear from my lawyer Ian lawyer enjoy your stone clearing

the photons they live under the ground until they peek through to the sky That for tones they want to be on the edge For why nobody knows why Goodbye, goodbye,'re helping you merry dance. Don't listen to the bird fan-tree, Don't listen to your underpants, listen to the stone, listen to the stone, and they in turn will My friend, my fine friend. Fatone Clearing with Richard Keith Herring starred me, Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog, plus the man with the small dogs at the opening of the field, but no other fatone fatavi at all. The music is by Mike Coughgrave, the voice of the Lovatones, is my copper heen.

Listen to the thorns, my friend, And they fowl sing, ye merry darts. Don't listen to the perf and treif, Don't lift them to your under-hands, Lift them to the stones, Lift liven to ye, my friend, my fine friend.