Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 168

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Chapter 168 - A Puff of Fmoke. It's nearly 6pm on the 30th July 2024 and we've learned by now with stone clearing to expect the unexpected, but no one could have expected the unexpected thing that happens today. Which is why you need 168 lessons on how to clear stones, because of all the unexpected stuff that can happen. Where did the unexpected thing come from and what does it mean?

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Come on in little monkey face dog. Are you a monkey face dog? Hello, welcome to chapter one thick bait it is time is approximately 1757 it's approximately the 30th of July 2024 we've got it moving and getting this field cleared I think we're gonna be here for at least another month. There's still some work on the new house so that's keeping us here and you know, if it's possible I may return. It's not too far away from the field. The stones, if I don't clear them, I may come a calling if I haven't killed myself. Remember, you haven't yet alerted give the authorities that possibility and you are thus couple one six eight only 32 away from doing the advanced lessons Come here. Good girl.

Come on. Come here. Good girl. Good girl. Come on. Come here. Good girl. Good girl.

Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl.

Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl, good girl darling. Come on!

You start barking when you're safely in the garden, Wolfs. He knows who the ruler of the roost is. Right, well, we're just going to duck its passage now and about to see what's going on in the Stan today. Yep, looking the same as before, just lots of tiny tree trunks of rapeseed plants left behind. Looks like something after a plague or some plague of locusts have been through destroyed the entire crop. It's actually just a farmer. Same thing right off you go. There's some bits of chalk on the ground here something what's that loads of chalk I'm gonna clear that that looks like looks like

someone spread chalk on you on purpose I'm gonna leave that even though that is organic or it's just someone trying to ensure... careful wolves! that I cannot complete my task. Big chunks of chalk. Let's take a picture of that chalky ground. It's obviously a deliberate ploy. Now chalk is of course not organic it is a mineral. It's the OC3 I think. That's a turn up of the books. It's like someone salted the earth but with chalk. I'm going to leave the chalk.

Hope it disappears on its own somehow in the rain. Yeah, if you step on it, it does crush quite easily. So there must be method in the madness. But what an interesting turn of events. Is that a stone or a piece of poo? It's a stone on a piece of poo. But I've got into the stone without touching it. It's chalky stone. Chalk dust flies off it.

Oh look, there's a huge chunk of chalk here. I mean that's very tempting to take that off. Let's get a picture of that. That could be a good... looks like a meteor storm chalk has hit the field the size that I put my size eight Hermione foot next to that to give it most of the bits aren't as big as that so that gives a false impression but yeah it looks like someone's decided to put more minerals on the field rather than let fewer and made my job even more impossible I'm gonna just clear the non-truck stones for now there's a huge bit over there. I mean that's just insane. I mean it might have been some kind of accident. I'm going to take a

picture of this huge bit. Who knows what's going on here? Probably some farmer can tell you. I'm going to take a picture of that one that's gonna be the picture. Chalk meteorite I think, so I wish I'd been here to see it. All you do to me is chalk chalk. Even the non-chalk stones have a chalky hue so it's quite impressive maybe it's some kind of pesticide to try and kill stone curers when you throw the non-chalk stones they explode in a cloud of chalk there's an apple here as well i'm going to clear it it's not organic and uh guy here's cut back his grass quite a lot, there's quite a lot of stones there. I'm going to take one and move it a bit further along. I feel he didn't like it.

Oh, it's gone through the fence. Disaster. Wow, the chalk stretches everywhere. Not in the biggest chunk as that chunk I just took a picture of though. Chunks of chalk, it's a what? It's a hot day, it's an evening but Wolfie hasn't had a walk at lunchtime because it was too hot. The sun is beating down.

And you know, you'd think nothing could surprise me out here after all these years five six years I've been doing this but a load of chalks suddenly appearing on the on the field has surprised somewhat surprised me and I don't know what to tell you but it's still quite tricky conditions because like the stones are chalky there's still lots of straw on the ground I guess when the field is ploughed which hopefully is the next step that chalk will Somehow go into the ground and provide some sort of nutrients. I don't know I can't speak for farmers, they are my enemy. But yeah, the ground is white,

chunks and dust, white chunks and dust and a man's lust for glory with his stony story as was predicted in the scriptures of old the scriptures of old that exact thing was predicted here it has come to pass. Is that chalk or is that a stone? That's a stone that can come off. Feels like I'm being mocked by the stone gods perhaps. Perhaps not. And I've got a few nice small mediums in my hand nice to feel your small medium in your hand isn't it there fellas you know what I'm talking about or ladies why not you can have small medium too now trying to get on to

the cairn in the corner of the field. He's grabbed one of those stones and brought it back. A rare bit of colour amongst the chalk. There's a nice stone here. I suppose this has been knocked over by the machinery. It is covered in chalk but it is a flinty stone. It can go off into the tree can't even see where the trees are trying to knock these trees down disappears in the puff of smoke puff of smoke haven't bought any water today which may have been a mistake. I can do some water too but it's late enough and I think the sun isn't quite as hot as it has been. It is a post-apocalyptic and

the difficult thing is when someone's covered a field in chunks of chalk you look out and go oh there's a stone, you go, no it's some chalk. I mean my job's going to become very hard if people just start putting lorry loads of stones on the field. These ones have seemed fairly perishable. But it's still concerning but it's still concerning for me. We just did the short route today, just a little hello. I'm off for a holiday for a week in the centre parks. See you there dads and then I'm gonna see my folks my dad's birthday 88 years old absolutely fucking insane how's that possible I don't know I don't like to think about it because he's 88 how old am 14. He's a very virile old man. Right, across we go, wolves to the scorched earth, where nothing can grow.

Another big chunk of chalk distracting me. This is like something out of an Arthur C. Clarke film. It could only have been jumped up by Quentin Tarantino. Is that chalk or is that stone? That stone, very chalky stone. Wolfie's going to chase it. When it's bounced, it's bounced. Just got to the edge, Wolfie's. Picked it up and going to, it's bounced. Just got to the edge Wolfie's picked it up and gonna bring it back

I can tell you that right now right to the edge that one Just bounced right onto the cairn across from the main cairn. Then here is Wolfie Should be picking up chalky stones. Drop it. Drop it. It's gone awry. Wolfie's nowhere near near it. Oh but it's bounced nicely into the outland, that's a good one. He went very sideways but further than the other one bounced into the undergrowth. Oh Wolfie you'll never get that one and she hasn't. Her tongue's lolloping around out of her stupid dog mouth as we cross the field, oh and I can see a farm tractor. I think it's just from the next field. It's got a load of hay, straw bales, hay bales in the back.

Yeah, it's not coming onto this field. Who knows what the mad genius who owns this field is planning. We could never have predicted this could we when we came out this morning and this afternoon even when you started listening this you thought I expect this will be the same old same old no tractors there's chalk very different all right Wolfie can chase this little one oh bounce off the off the path, I think she'll get it. Then maybe she can, we did this the other day not on recording. I managed to get a stone right across the field by throwing it at her, bringing it back, me throwing it at her, bringing it back, finally ended up on the main camera. Where is it? What have you done with it? You just dropped it, I can see it's got your spit all over it. Just dropped it, I can see it's got your spit all over it.

Right, I think we can do this in two more throws, Wolf. Woah, Wolf, you're already running! She can run but she can't hide. Not here anyway. Another nice stone just lying in the pathway. It's small and large. Where's the one, where's it gone? Is it here? Okay, she's just in, she's like a pointer dog now.

Can't bother to pick it up. Pointed to it. Do you think I can get this to the edge? Not quite. Whoa! Oh, it's a good throw, Lady Thompson Discus. Wolfie's chasing it, she's found it. Plough, puff of of smoke goes up.

It's like Wimbledon down here. Another big chunk of stone, of chocolate. Nothing as big as the one that's going to be in the picture for this podcast. That's the biggest one. Right, where'd it go wolves? something you meant to be finding I don't want to lose it at this point we got so close to rescuing it is it gone? we got it? no? oh wolfie you're a terrible pointer dog right well we've lost that one. It got very close to freedom.

I mean sometimes you just look at chalk all over your field. I think I might just give up. It's been a cruel trick. Well I've got one stone to place on the main cane. Butterfly flutters by. Let's get down here, this is some shade down here. I think I've got my dinner in the oven. I'm trying to time that.

Should be ready approximately about now. Nice bit of salmon, I've put some veg. Very important to keep healthy and fit if you want to be a stone clearer. It's something that I've neglected a bit in 2024 but the last week has been okay. I've got a lot of veg again, feeling quite good, they're not getting enough sleep. If you were interested in me, I'm only the human vessel for these stones. Just threw a nice small, very large one into the undergrowth. I have one stone already for the ditch that stopped the Tories. Remember keep bringing a stone in those ditches every day or the Tories will return, bring back

Brexit and all that goes along with it. A nice little flat stone with a curved back, rent in twain at some point. The distance past. He's again in the ditch. And so is this one, next to a piece of chalk. Nice very small bit of shrap shrap McDonald that's one for anyone who worked at the King's West in the mid 80s you'll get that one and an interesting ring stone looks like it's been used at some point to make some kind of iron objecting

got a mold in the middle could be could be an ancient mold covered in chalk my fingers are slightly chalky I think chalk is the theme isn't it today the larger ones gonna go on the out for a number again. There's another three, stop the Tories. We'll be here for a few days, so well maybe we'll be here tomorrow actually. Gotta give them a little bit extra, make sure those Tories don't get them back. Though the stones cannot put the politics of the other apart from the ditch that stopped Brexit and seems to care quite a lot about the people of the area. I vote for whichever party wants to clear stones. Anyone has that high in their manifesto. A nice chalky stone goes on the

Alpha and Omega Cairn. The Alpha and Omega Scree I think we should call it. Just keep this baby close to his brothers. A little sabutio there for you just to end on. Haven't done any sabutios today. Heading through the Nettles. Time to look at the emails. Will there be one from John Nettles? Even if there is, I don't think I'd read it out. He's been taking a lot of airways. So we're coming down and Purple Bin Leaf. It's got in touch. Leaf Purple Bin actually, it's got a Native American name. Purple Bin of course, for household waste, not food though. Feed the sticker. Anyway, Leaf says hi, it's me, Leaf Purple Bean. Long time Lister, first time emailer. Been a few Leafs have emailed in, more than you'd think, given how rare that name is.

I know you've had a few Leafs email in before, but not not me I'm not Native American my dad Ian Purple my wife my mother it's Simona Bin Simona I think it'd be Simona and they named me the leaf arrogant Erikson the actor not the explorer anyway's enough about me, we're here to talk about stones. What is your favourite stone? Well, you know, that's weird, not many people ask the basics. Can't have favourites leaf, that's the thing. Every stone is equal to every other stone. It's a society that we humans could learn a lot from, only we would listen.

Listen to the tones, it's right there in the music. By the way, Michael Faheyne is going to appear on the Holister pack. See? Holister. See? Um... He's got a piece back, voice of the stones. I do like the big ones the best, the massive ones are the best. Right we are back home so we're gonna wrap it up, wrap it up like crap, crap it up. And we'll see you maybe next week when I'm back from my house.

Alright, take care everyone and each other. Goodbye. For halfing ye a merry dance Don't lifn to the bird fan treath Don't lifn to your underpants Lifn to the stone Lifn to the stone And they in turn I'll live for to ye my friend my fine friend Photone clearing with Richard Turing starred me, Richard Turing and Wolfie the dog plus there was a lady at the beginning of Dog Walker, that's about it.

I think, can't remember. Lots of chalk. The music is by Mike Coughgrave. The voice of the Votones is Michael Faheem. Listen to the stones, my friend, And they fowl sing, ye merry does. Don't listen to the birth and treath, To ye, my friend, my fine friend. And...