Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 171

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Chapter 171: Parabola? Parabola?! It's about 9.20am on 30th August 2024 and Richard hasn't moved yet, so stone clearing can still go on. The Stocean is turning from brown to green and Richard has strict rules about removing soil and the perfect kick technique to share with you. Should he clear the field metre by metre? What does he say to the Stone Stasi lady and why does he have to censor it? And does he like stones? Find out some of this in today's chapter. Subsribe of Fubftack here: https://richardherring.substack.com See eBay items here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/herring1967

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Hello my found flag-hag friend. Welcome to chapter 171, Stotion to see what's going on. Come on, Wolfie, good girl. It's a sunny day, it's a funny day, and I shouldn't really be here, should I? I shouldn't be, I mean for many reasons, just because the chances of the universe existing, let alone life evolving on a small planet are so tiny, but you know, I thought I'd move by now. Still here, no dates for a while, the wolf is just peeing on her own leg there. Her own foot, the wee trail down from where she was weeing onto her foot. Don't know when we're moving so it's certainly not till mid to late September. The dates drag on.

Go on, keep moving, wolves. And here we are. Seems like something's starting to grow through the soil here, tilled soil. Yeah I can see crops now. So the turnaround is very quick isn't it for these farmers. They plough, they plant, the new crop appears. But the stones keep coming. I did consider breaking one of the first rules of stone clearing today. There are no rules to stone clearing of course, that's the second rule. You just always keep moving, you can't just stop in one place. But I did wonder about, just to give myself an idea of how long it might take to do the whole field, to take a metre square and just try and clear that metre square of all stones and just stay and concentrate on that. It's something

you could try if you want, just to give yourself an idea. I don't know how many meter squares there are in this huge field, quite a lot, but it would just give me a slight indication though it would be a meter square on the edge where I've already cleared a lot of stones. So yeah, definite quite less grass coming up there, maybe it kick you can do as we're getting into intermediate it is nice to flick to kick, it's a bootie-o so you make off. So what you really want to do is get your foot enough underneath the stone that when you kick it it flicks up in the air in a parabola, a parabolic curve. That's what you should be aiming for it's not something you'll be able to do every time I can tell you that right now it's a difficult thing to

achieve but when it happens let's see if I can do it now so just a little bit under takes a little bit longer to do no that one just went on the ground it's incredibly satisfying when it happens of course still a lot of stones to choose from here. Too many to clear in the next two to three weeks, that's not for me to say. See if I can do that but I want to see if I can show you that perfect parabola. Is that how you say it? Parabola. Just using my hands at the moment though. well let's see we can do this one. it's still off the field doesn't really matter it's just satisfying and it's the sign of a truly great stone clearer when you can do that even just once or twice. that was more like it.

oh that one's gone under a gate into someone's garden. Not ideal. And now that one's along the ground. You know, the fact that it's difficult is what makes it exciting, I guess. And what the hell's that? That's a stick. Don't need to clear it. Oh, that was a good parabola. It was a good parapara...parabola. It was a good one, but it was a good one but it was a stick so although a stone clearer would be

proud of it he would be ashamed for having cleared something organic I don't need to remind you if it's organic no need to panic if it's not it's a bootie me. Just to stop there, five stones. One certainly bordered on the the medium just picked up within a foot of the edge of the field i could do that's the thing if i i'll be interested to just see how long it would take to do a meter square to properly do it bring you know a little my brain's already working yet today you know those big s the sieves you use in the garden one of those colander no that's the use that in the kitchen whatever it's called right let's see if we can do the... I want to just see if I can do the parabola for you. Parabola. Parabolic. Watch out, wolf! You're in the way. No. Not achieving it today. Not feeling it today. Ladis... Ladis, our wolf, has picked up that stone, brought it back onto the field.

She's very much the enemy of the stone clearer, this dog. Cleared it, she brought it back on, I've cleared it again. It's gone to the brambles, I don't think she'll get it there. She thinks this is a game which involves her putting stuff I've cleared back on the field this might be why it's taking me so long to clear this fucking thing. The other thing especially at this time of year when there are a lot of clods on the ground, WOLFY! Leave the bloody things alone. It is very important the worst thing you can do as a st stone clearer, worse than murder worse than anything really is to clear soil like I just cleared some wood that

is a that's a that's a sin in itself but the danger of picking up a clod we're not here to clear soil if soil stuck to to the stone you're clearing, so be it. But if you just clear afresh it's almost the opposite of what you're trying to do. You're trying to keep the soil on the field. It's a sin that I think should be punishable by life imprisonment or just making people stone clear all the time, so it's really better than that. That's what you're doing anyway, so that's not much of a punishment. Good medium there, I just hassled off a little bit into a bit without any visible growing. Plumage. My brain's not working at all today, I'm slightly worried.

We're nearing the end. My brain's not working at all today, I'm slightly worried. We're nearing the end. For my brain, not necessarily my body, as long as my body works, my brain understands what a stone is. But yes, that's the thing I really needed to say. I did the other day, accidentally cleared quite a big clod of soil and even if there's a stone in there which there probably will be a little stone in there it's not acceptable behavior in this modern age it's the kind of thing the stone stars you would do the same stars you think would like to see all the soil at the edge of the field and all the stones in the middle they'd like to reverse the natural order of things. That's not the way things

could go. A bit of dog poo there now. Watch out for that, don't touch the dog poo. I guess that's just for hygiene reasons really. And here we are, Ken in the corner of the field now visible. Had a bit of difficulty finding it the other day but it's doing okay. Oh I meant to mention the can, I've sort of started a new can really since the last plough and doing pretty well already. I actually even think I put a couple of stones on it just now but I didn't, I forgot to mention it, I'll take a photo of it maybe next time and then just cling it into the trees

I'm just going to do a shortish clear today and just tassel off, I've seen a couple of nice, one of these nice dark brown stones that I love hefty that can go just into the base of that tree and another one about the same size more caramel in color doesn't matter the color of your skin or your insides if you're a stone they can be different they are with the person's well honey if you think about it you're a stone as long as you're made of stone you're a stone nice kick there again not a parabola parabola how do you say that oh should say this remind you this I don't know if I told you this the other day, that I have got at least one stone clearing thing up on eBay as long as this goes up today.

There's about five or six hours left on the eBay. You can buy the amazing limited edition Scout badge collection that went out with a recent Kickstarter, well not that recent. I've got to just think maybe one or two packs left of the complete set of those beautiful Scout badges. Presentation pack, three I think of ten that I signed and and numbered. I love putting it into the base of trees you know it's off the field and you know one day it will destroy that tree. Coming up to the Cairn across from the main Cairn. I was going to gather that for that but I'm gonna throw it towards the tree but it didn't make the tree. I hope I can do one parabola for you before the end of today. See that was an example of a stone with a bit of soil, I managed to get the soil off,

soil is still on the field, you can do it, obviously there's dirt on stones, I'm not talking about washing the stones before you take them off, nature will do that. But if you throw what you think is a stone, it turns out just to be principally soil. Again, I think you'll have to hand in your stone clearing membership card. There's a dog running towards you. You can take it, Wos. Oop, looks like she's lying down. You alright, I think, Wos?

Come on. Hi there, you alright? To redact that conversation, that's Stone Starzy, a friend you're with, but she knows what she's doing. And here we go crossing across, yeah you can sort of just see greenness tinging that field. Let's see if we can get a photo of that for you. It's a beautiful day. I don't know if the greenness in the distance will be picked up there by the photo but maybe. So go to eBay Herring9627 if you want to buy that scout badges, going quite cheaply at the moment I think.

Also do join Substack, there'll be some extra stone content on there. I'm going to put the podcast up there so you can listen to it directly but it will be available in all the usual places as well If we get some subscriptions in, some pages that we subscribe for free most of it's going to be free but we'll do a few bits that are exclusive to people who want to pay a small amount of money a month or a year amount of money a month or a year and if you want to do that that'd be great. Then I can just spend my life stone clearing and writing a matic and not have to worry about anything else if enough of you were to do it. I'm going out doing gigs and stuff I'm not gonna stop doing that. Just looking for stones here, this one's sticking up, not too big. This is the fecund area of the field by which I mean fecund not second

That's Not as good as it used to be in terms of finding big stones, although I say that look at that over there What's that? The biggest one today maybe There's lots here for future journeys. This one's calling to me, I haven't. This one looks quite big. Oh no, it's flatter than it looked. I've got my hands full. It's like a crackerjack, they eat stuff that hold cabbages, very similar to that. And here we come across to the main cairn where I've got nice 5 or 6 stones here ready to go. Oh that one looks nice, I might have to come back for that, there's like a stone hinge

sign megalith sticking up there, or another one there. There are some stones out there for those who are prepared to look. There's no stone stasi on the way. Yeah I don't know why there's so many stones, I feel like what I can't understand is why this can actually look smaller than it did six years ago. Let me see if I can find those stones that were sticking up that I like the look of. They're calling to me. Just tossed a little one back there. Where was it? You see you come from a different direction and it's difficult to

spot the things you spotted. Don't think this was the one, but this one's a nice one. This might have been the one, it's not all that impressive. Let's see, can we see anything else? Shaking the soil off that one to throw it. Hopefully we can chase it, which is on the lead. Oh, it's just gone on the palm. Yeah, I don't think I can... unless that was the one. I don't think I... was it that? Maybe it was this. Just checking around that we're not going to be hassle-hopping

a bit here. This is dangerous. Oh that again, that one was much more of an iceberg, a lot more underneath. Oh there's a stone stouty heading in the wrong direction, brightly wearing bright blue. I'm going to put these a bit further along the wall. heading in the wrong direction, brightly wearing bright blue. I'm going to put these a bit further along the wall, these ones have some nice size one to go in the wall so the can is stretching around the corner which at least it wasn't doing six years ago. But yeah why that can is lower down than it used to be I don't know. Right you can can come off the read again, what have you pooped yet?

No, I don't think you have. Just shaking her head for me. Really unfit at the moment, I'm not feeling, I haven't been feeling very well. I haven't been doing enough exercise as a result of dizziness and ear aches and all sorts so hoping I can survive long enough to clear this field. Someone will carry my work on once I'm gone. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but soon

right let's try and do the parabola parabola yeah that was better that was more like it wasn't quite it didn't go straight it sort of went off at whatever angle it wasn't quite the beautiful curve that I was hoping for but that's the closest yet let's see what we can do with this one also right how the way also once we get hit... no, didn't get enough underneath that one and this is usually in this area down the hill usually quite hard to find stones but since the ploughs have been over a few there are a few a few more than usual

and a few big ones which is nice because it's not just means you're not just scrabbling around for scraps when you get to this ditch. Dog barks in the distance. some elderberries, the things they could tell those younger berries, the younger berries would just listen. I know they're failing guys, massive failure, they didn't even get that one in the air, didn't even get it over the path. But coming up to the ditch to stop Brexit, the ditch will allow me to regrow my testicle. There's a lot of magic powers there, if you believe all will come true. So yeah, if you want to see the Substack stuff, maybe one day Stonefing will only be on Substack,

who knows? Only for people who have pled to pay for it to keep it properly secret. Imagine how few people... Oh shit! That would be ouch! And he went over on my ankle there. Just one of the things about being old, those who have gone to the ditch to stop Brexit. Just need some more for the Al weekend now and our work here is done for another

morning and there's just loads of stones here see if I try to do this meter square how long that would take it'll be an interesting exercise all I'm saying but would it make for an interesting podcast? probably not, probably not as interesting as this one. Well that one's calling out to me as well. I've got a lot for the other one I'm a Ken. There's a witch's finger there. That's a dick then that's something wrong with that witch. That little mesh thing there, I'm not going to pick that up. Who knows where that mesh has been.

Right, look at this, four, seven stones on the Afro Armored Cannon, there were some earlier as well that were mentioned. And now, Wolfie have you pooped? Do you want to poop? I'll let you off if you can poop. Come and poop. You gonna poop? Well, if you don't want to go, you don't want to go. Maybe you went and I missed it. Right, let it down we go duck. Duck, it's past your turn to look at your emails. Check for the Nettles. That's the family who sometimes email me from

when I'm walking down here. I mean they don't email me when I'm walking down here. So Slab. Someone just saw me say Slab. That's embarrassing. They were just hiding right in that corner. Slab Rose. I mean that must be Rose Slab, right? They put their surname first. Sometimes that happens with emails. Hi, my name's Rose Slab, not Slab Rose, that would be ridiculous, that's what I thought. It's just the way the email sometimes puts it,

that is true. Big fan of the podcast. Devastated if it finishes when you move. Well, we'll see, see what happens there. There are more stones on heaven and earth than are jumped off in your philosophy. It's funny your name's slab, I thought that was the kind of stone itself isn't it? A slab of stone. Coincidence. My question is a very good one that I've thought about very hard. Certainly not just making up in the spare moment just to get on the podcast, but it's good ones.

What is it? Child Ununderstanding. Why do you think you've already thought about? I know I said that. I'd already thought about and now I said that I'd already thought about it I'm just making sure I were but I mean you don't need to write that in an email just think that and then do it you could spend days writing an email if you want

I need to have a tour of the life. Do you like stones? Is that the question? Do you like stones? The stone starts here, you follow me down, look at the answers. Oh, it's a young lady. Sorry about that, I've escaped. Don't make you slow where I went. I do like stones, yeah. That's the answer to that one, bros. Thanks for that question. Do keep the questions coming in. Try not to make them stupid ones. Don't wait, there's a lot of people who'd like to ask questions. Wanna come and have some food, wolves?

Alright, we're back home, so better leave it in case someone catches me. But enjoy your stone clearing. We'll be back next week. Ebay.co.uk and Herring967 if you want those scout badges. And, er, yeah. dot co dot uk and herring 1967 if you want those scout badges and uh yeah uh substack richard herring dot substack dot com i think it is if you want to see the substack stuff all right cheers bye Don't, my friend, and they've a halfing year merry dance Don't listen to the bird fan-tree Don't listen to your underpants Listen to the stone

Listen to the stone The tone clearing with Richard Herring, Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog, plus my friend, the stone starzy lady who I had to cut the conversation off because it gave out too much personal information. And the stonestarzy lady who was following me. There's lots of nice stonestarsies out there today. The music is by Mike Coughgrave, the voice of the Vatones is Michael Ferheen. If you know how to pronounce parabola or parabola, parabola, let me know. Alright, bye. Underhand, Living to the stones,

Living to the stones, And they in turn, Foul-livered to ye, My friend, My fine friend