Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 181

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

Chapter 181 - Fponfered By Tafkmafter? - It's 8.50am on 17th January 2025 and the old team if back together, though one of them has had an accident in the car (no fpoilers). There's enough proof of the existence of the Ftone Gods to the most hard-hearted, tranfphobic atheift or idiot who believes in any other religion. There'f fome fly work from the ftone ftafi and a potential attack from the black dog of depreffion and the rebuilding of wallf. There'f furprifing big ftones in the pathway, a brand new technique for clearing ftones and more questionf about whether Wolfie is tipping off the FF. Can the Brexit Ditch ftop Trump? Will Rich remember the bag full of fhit? What fongs fhall he fing? And will you learn Anglo Faxon in time to keep up with epifode 200?

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Hello my Fandis friends, it's January 3rd. Wolfie! What's up with you? I've already done a little poop in the back of my car. It's January the 17th 8.51 a.m. I've brought Wolfie up to the field especially to bring you on this chapter 181. Sorry, because I didn't know the number last time I wasn't able to do that joke and that's pretty much the only reason I started this to get 180. We had to go to 180 so that's a shame

Anyway, we're here both of us together Wolfie I'm not sure she didn't wee in the back of the car but she was in the boot Can't smell anything. There's a little bit of poop there. So I think she might be Might be on the way to do a poop That might be why she's so excited That might be why she's so excited. A bit cruel to her but I thought you would. She enjoyed this stone clear so much the other day and I know you enjoy having her along. She's as much a part of this as me. Not as much a part of the stone. The stones are more important.

You could replace me, you could replace Wolfie maybe with a different dog, but you could not replace the stone even though that's what I'm ironically attempting to do. It's a confusing podcast, isn't it? No one could do this job apart from me. You know it. I know it, you know it. And more importantly, anyone thinking of replacing me knows it. Right, here we are.

We're up Duckett's Passage. Nice to bring Wolfie back, she does enjoy coming back, even if she shits in the car. Just a little bit, that can happen to any of us, a little bit can creep out. Alright, wolves, go and do a poop by wood. And a nice, claggy bit of... I've got like a lot of alfalfa and albaca stones here, just all nicely brushed down by the the torrential rain the other month. And yeah, so it's good conditions for stone clearing today. Last time of course, frozen follid. This time the earth

is muddy. Not so muddy you get stuck. This is a nice little Cabbage cream egg sized stone there. Just sitting up on its own ready to be taken off. I've took it off. Coming up to the bit that we passed last time where a river of stones has coagulated. Take a few of these babies up. You can hear the needles kicking the well. There's time enough. Stone clearing can never end, not till I end, and I intend not to end.

My friend, I intend not to end. My friend, oh my good friend, till my stone clearing journey, if fully at an end, and when then that is so, I can finally go. Oh, the stone clearer's life is a good life, stone clearer's life is a good life The stone clearer's life is a life that must never terminate Well if you've just done the poo, maybe you should have done all of your poo here Walsall, what do you think? Just a thought, just a thought for next time Just on the verge, I gonna pick it up. I'm a good guy but

you could almost get away with burying that one. It's a stinker. It's a stinker wolves. That dog. An invisible dog. Gonna put this bag here and pick it up on the way back. Remind me to do that on the way back. We're sending it in the beginning. Ah, it's over here. It's not an invisible dog. I just had the wrong direction. I was looking in the wrong direction. Wilby! Come here! well this is a little bit chilly on the old Vigili today but not wearing gloves and the stones do not remind us of our deaths remind us that one day it might be cold. Oh a big bit of fence gone again here. Oh Wolfie come on come on come on come on. The big bit of fence on that dog can get through the fence come here wolfie. Oh that must have been it. Wolfie's lost a tracker I've just noticed but I think that was on the

kitchen floor. Oh everything's happening. This big black Labrador dog just bounded towards us. There's a big hole in the fence there's another hole in the fence there well how exciting Wolfie's excited because I've got a stone in my hand she thinks it's for her oh it is a bit cold today isn't it Wolf? I might have to do my coat up. I'm wearing my Taskmaster t-shirt from the Taskmaster live Experience. They haven't agreed to sponsor this podcast but hopefully if I just give them a little advert they'll give me loads of money. Anyway that's the way I'm going to try and do it, just out of a sense of dignity and duty and fairness. So go to the Taskmaster Live Experience, it's pretty good. You'll never get to be on the real Taskmaster, so it's the best that's gonna happen for you.

Some of us get to be on the champion, the champion of champions, so perhaps. Got an itchy ear now. This one's quite buried, this stone, but I'm gonna try and flick it out with my foot anyway. There it is. It's off, it's only just off. Wolfie's trying to pick it up but I'm pulling it away. Back healed. Didn't go off. That was a nice technique that I haven't done before. We are moving up to the advanced level very soon. Wolfie's think the stone and a load of foliage in his mouth. I've taken that one

off, that's on my back heeled off wolf. Why would you do this to me? I was demonstrating the back heel so so far we've only kicked forwards but if you are standing facing away from the edge of the field you can propel your leg backwards using the heel of your shoe boot or foot if you're if you're unshod and for hot oh that's a big one I thought that was that was an iceberg stone there I just picked up came out a nice medium-sized it's a good technique technique if you can't be bothered to turn around. The back heel, that's a new bit of info for you. It's always good when you get to chapter 181 and you're still coming up with new techniques. Good girl, Wolfie. It wasn't your fault. The poo wasn't your fault, Wolf. In a way it was my fault for making you wait so long for your morning poop.

You're a good girl. Ahem, in a way. Right, coming up to the cairn in the corner of the field. There's now of course the rival cairn in the corner of the field which is all the stones that got washed off the field by Mother Nature in a miracle they're calling the miracle of the part of totian where it looked like I couldn't possibly clear the field and then the rain did she did come and the rain was a jet blackstone they're gonna take that baby off a real nice round blackstone that can go on the cairn in the corner. Of course the real corner is the nature-made

cairn. A rare phenomenon that proves I think the stone gods exist. What are the chances that a cairn would be made by rain in a field that someone's trying to clear all the stones off of? Just coincidentally, I think you have to be crazy to think that you have to be crazy to believe in any other god than the photon gods whoop you're doing a wee now oh I'm not doing personal training session today I've just come up specially for this a personal trainer as a COVID like illness. Just goes to show being fit isn't all it's cracked up to be. Doesn't make you immortal, doesn't make you impervious to illness. But I tell you this is, it's hard work, this slightly claggy ground. It's like a stair master this is all the exercise you need you just have to take a look at how about a breath I am which proves how tough

this is and how fit I must be also just take a look at a photo of me see how lean I am that's nothing but stone clearing that's created this physique created this physique so I hope make it round anyway it's been a tough journey so I'm gonna do a mini Hasselhoff now no stone starts out today weird how last time we were Bethet maybe Wolfie's the narc. How did they... Oh watch out Wolfie! Oh god, that hit Wolfie on the head though. That was close Wolfs! Someone coming. Come on, good girl.

There's a dog. Whoop! Wolfie trying to chase after the dog with the scarf on. Wolfie trying to chase after the dog with the scarf on. Wolfie! Wolfie wants to go and play but she's not gonna... So just as I was saying, there's no star scene. And not here. Actually two, I've got one on the main can, that's good work. Oh she's running parallel with a big hedge. I'm just going to alloy her a little bit that go ahead. It's against all the rules of human chaff but I'm going to just not take my turn. Right we're going round, maybe we'll see the Syngam Ringing Tree today.

Oh a couple of nice caramel stone there and they're a bit far away from there. Someone just left their dog poop bag on the floor there. How awful. You know, I'm gonna give them a chance, maybe like me they're gonna pick it up. If I forget to pick it up, do email me and I'll come back and get it. Another medium, good medium just in the pathway. It begs us belief really doesn't it that the pathway could still have stones that big in it. And that's one of the big mysteries of Stonecrave. Where do they come from? Where do they go? Where do you come from? Cotton-eyed stones. That's what that song was originally about.

Keep out tonight for cotton-eyed stones. They've been lying from a long time ago. Where did they come from? Where did they go? Well, they go to the side, rednecks. I don't know where they come from. Where did they come from? Cotton-eyed stones.

Don't know where they're cotton-eyed. Keep meaning to google what they said at the beginning of that verse. Maybe I'll do it today. Look out the king for cotton-eyed joe, put out the bins for cotton-eyed joe. Is it that? put out the bins for cotton agile. Is it that? I've all found a bit of pottery. Have I or is it just a weird stone? No, it's a weird stone. Looks like Willow Patten. That's just in nature again. Oh, stone gods not exist. How can Willow Patten exist in nature?

It does again. The atheists are confounded. I don't know. It doesn't prove this of God. Shut up Ricky Gervais. Get out here and clear some stones. Rather than having to go at trans people. And you'll see the true meaning of the world. All people are equal in their total relevance all the matters of stuff. Open the tin for Captain Hadjo. What is it? I've been mad. I've been mad a long time ago. What is? What are these words for Captain Hadjo? Who remembers rednecks? Anyone here remember rednecks?

Put out the tin for Captain Hadjo. Have I done them on the Rehearsalro? Yeah, that's a good one. Oh look, a lovely bit of ancient windmill. Roman villa here. That could go under the tree. Singing, ringing tree. No joy. Nice old brick. Looks like it's made of dust. Could be as ancient as the hills if the hills are quite new. No singing ringing tree! I've even thrown them another one, no joy. All right, Wals, I think you can come off again. Don't think that black dog's gonna come for us again. That was scary, wasn't it, Wals? Even you were scared, weren't you? Gonna do a little hassle off, I've seen some good potential stones out here three I saw there's actually more than three here but I'll pick up the three I saw they want me to bring one of their mates as well these are not bad size none of them quite medium size they look bigger from a distance

size is not important I don't know how many times I have to tell you five if not important these can go into the base. That looks more like a singing, ringing tree. That one, that's a fucking gnarly old scary tree. Well, it's got some stones in tribute now, no elves. What embarrassing if I'd got the... Hi there. Come here, of course.

Embarrassing if I'd got the wrong tree altogether, wouldn't it? Another stonestars is coming down there. Ah, it's way there! Apparently myself made me look crazy, if only they knew how sane I was. Probably saner than anyone. Bit of a witch's finger, witch's dick situation here as well. Another little one there, I'm not going to pick that one up even. Oh four more stones, there's just so many stones out here. You know I look back at the younger me of a few months ago who thought

he might finish before the move and I laugh at him, I do. He was deluded but I should get this done in a couple of months I reckon that was a nice long not almost turd like stone you know when you get a long turd that's sort of straight a bit bobbly it looks a bit like that good size and some good stones here. So the stone stars, they are a bit more out in force. Again, purely my suspicion that Wolfie might be somehow signaling them, perhaps to buy faeces. Look, we're out here. She does try to put the stones back on the field. Oh, here's a nice one, look at the size of this one, Wolfie's just a bit this one. And this again just in the path, look at the size of that. It's as big as

Wolfie's head. How has that not been picked up before? You have to ask yourself, and I am doing, and I can give you no answer as to how I've walked down here a hundred times and the stone the size of Wolfie's head has just been lying on top of the ground apparently something is going on my friends another witch's finger witch's dick gonna take that one home oh Wolfie I've got some treats in my pocket you ever got do you want a treat do you want a treat you know what a treat is don't you you weren't so excited when I said treat there you go ow treat this thing here you went up to the site when I said treat there you go ow fight my hand off oh so which is dick or finger in my pocket

as Alanis Marisette Marisette once sang oh got another lovely this and big stones coming out today. I wish I'd taken some photos. That's another medium large there that's gone up. And another one, have these just fallen off the side? I don't know how these are possibly here. That one's just lying atop the ground. Admittedly I don't always come this way.

But there's no reason. Oh, Wolfie, I'm just thinking of that one that almost skimmed your head. I'm thinking of what could have been. I'd be embarrassed to have to go home and tell my wife that Wolfie had been killed by a stone. I think she might try and work out how that had happened and could lead to some issues in our marriage. And yeah I could see a lot of stones out there to hassle off out to. to Hasselhoff out to another stone star. I think I might be the lady who

almost heard us. I'm going to say almost, almost definitely heard us talking to ourselves. Throwing a couple of roundies off here. But the one I'm heading, oh I forgot which one I'm heading for. I think it was this one. I'm passing some great stones at Tashkentay on the way to this I think it was this one. I'm passing some great stones at Tashkentay on the way to this additional stone. It's a modest size stone by the standards of today's clear, but we'll pick up a couple more on the way back together and they will make make it a worthy expedition and exhibition. One day I'll do an exhibition oh and there's a bigger medium just on the way back. I hope he's excited. I can't wait to knock on me Kenya wolfs. Alright, let's go into the undergrowth. I think these are safe from rolling back. Oh look at the size of that one another huge stone I thought it was three stones it was

one stone well the stones are growing and through the rain they be showing I guess you know the saw gets washed off and reveals stones underneath but still weird plough she doth come the plough she doth come like clockwork like cockwork as predictable as cockwork all right I'm just taking a little bit of a detour across the corner here because I've spotted a couple of, again, a couple of beauties. My heavens. I haven't seen stones this size out here for years. Truly I'm Blefed and Brian Blefed. I'm going to put these two, I think the wall I've tried to build between the two fields has been run over by tractors several times. I'm going to try to rebuild it. If I can get it big enough before the next harvest, they won't be able to use this through root there's still a few scattered stones here

and there remains of a big wall or something that used to be here so I'm only rebuilding there's some pipe work in it there's a pipe once ran through here who knows why, who knows where right, well she can come off the lead now definitely this one's already off but it's a nice size one I've cleared before I'm going to put it, I'll remember it I'll put it with the but it's a nice size one I've cleared before. I'm going to put it with the others.

Right walks, let's cross. We're going diagonal now. Well we found some wonderful stones today. And haven't yet taken a photo. Should absolutely have taken a photo of that fucking mammoth stone I found. The head, Wolfie's head, we are! It's a lob, not a very successful lob, just on the edge there. Come on Wolfie. Yes, in this half of the field I haven't really been into very much at all, and I look across and you can really see the difference between the two sides here. One side see the difference between the two sides here. One side maybe a billion stones, the other side 999996000 stones. And it's good to see that because it makes you think, well yeah, there's a long way to go. Maybe I should have chosen a smaller field. It makes you think

all of these things, but also makes you think, yes, I'm making a difference. I'm making a difference to the world. I'm leaving the world different than it was when I began better, not for me to say, but definitely better. More organized, for sure. No one could argue against that. Better organized, no one could argue against that.

Another nice medium small, I'll take that one, it's a nice Hermione hand sized, just fits in the palm of an Hermione hand, with the fingers crunched around it. It's a nice size to take to the clay in the middle of the field again, so it's been slightly vandalized. Maybe we'll take a photo of that the bush that grew around it which did protect it has gone where do all these fucking stones come from? I'm picking up stones I'm not I'm still quite away from the center and I've got an armful of stuff and I'm still quite away from the centre and I've got an armful of stuff, and I'm ironing these armful of stones now. Can't take you all, I'll come back for god's sake, shut up.

Why do you make my life so difficult? I'll bring you, okay I can see you, you've shone out like a shaft of piss. I've got you, there's room for you. On this Noah's Ark. The stones they went in one by one. Hurrah, hurrah. The stones went in one by one. Hurrah, hurrah.

The stones they went in one by one. A brown one and a grey one and another one that was brown but different size and shape and they all went into the crook of Richard Herring's arm for to get out of the mud. That's not a traditional song I made that one up. It should be the clearest sensible you'll notice the addition of my name in it. Though I was, there was foretold, there would come a man, be he man or fifth, they did say, be he man or fifth, the greatest stone-photon-clearer of all time, when he fow come, we will be on the eve of the offension to heaven of all true-hearted

for tolling cleareth. If you are hearing what I am saying, then ye fall be saved. That's the prediction, I'm just telling you what it says. You can obviously interpret that in a million ways. You will be rich and hard beyond your wildest dreams. Also, he will be a stand-up comedian. A stand-up comedian. I'm just reading the print. I'm literally just reading it, even though I've got both hands full.

I'm just, I'm not literally reading it. I've memorized it. Because it seems to me you could interpret that in a certain way. I'm not gonna say it, not for me to say. I think people would like to see how they came in the corner in the middle of the field doing walks to you. It's a sad shadow it's for myself. It's been slightly... Sorry, when taking a photo I obviously turned off the recording. It's been slightly... I don't know what I was going to say. Slightly scattered. Oh, there's a nice stone see I think I think some of these

stones around here might be scattered from the original. Ken I don't know if someone's been back maliciously done this but let's put this one in anyway I mean I should have taken a photo of you last time well shouldn't I when you were back people would have been delighted to see that, it would have cheered their hearts, there's people out there The world's in a terrible state, Wolfie They're just sitting there waiting Waiting for another stone clearing episode to land So just to cheer their lives up a little bit, make their lives feel like they have a little bit of purpose

Whoa! Through a little ball-shaped stone. Yeah, I get the irony from a distifference. You get used to the Anglo-Factum by the way. I once to get to episode 200. I should be talking exclusively in Anglo-Factum in order to keep out the riff-raff. Some people just listen. Don't listen to all of these, they're just tuning into one. Think they can get all the, oh, we've just listened to the latest one

that'll probably have all the stone-clearing stuff we needed there. You poor, poor fools. I mean, you've learned about this back here, which is, you know, kept from now till now, but from that that you have to go back and listen to more it'll just sound like a load of rambling nonsense so it's on your head if you do that

I've come up specially to do this. Got some nice st- ah no! Which way are they going to go? Phew, they're going the other way. Brilliant work from the stoned stazzy. But then they just chose to go the wrong way. Came out of the path unexpectedly. Two dogs. They've gone the wrong way and by the time I get to the stone pole I should be able to throw the stone pole without interruption.

Sorry it was such a bad stone pole last time. I hope I can do better this time. I'm a little out of practice. We haven't come to the stone pole for a little while. So I should have my eye in. I've got some big stones as well which usually helps not always. Do choose your weapons carefully my friends when you do your own stone pole in your own field. It's an important part of the process, one that shouldn't be skipped ever. And sometimes I do it, do what I say, not what I do. Do what I say, not what I do. That's how episode 200 will be. You know, you understood it the first time, maybe you understood it the same time because I just told you what I said, but

it's gonna be hard work it'll be hard work to listen to this from episode 200 onwards so enjoy these next 18 podcasts if you're an idiot and can't speak two languages like me right wolfs, wolfs is ready to get in the way here we go number one oh it's way off and it's out off the field terrible shot shot. Way two, other way, Lee stays on the field, bounces off the iron. Three, hits and goes into the next field. Two out of four. Oh, just missed. It's three out of six, so it's not too bad, neither good nor bad.

Or two out of five if you're a tradition and think I should have only thrown five stones. Wolfie's picked up one of the stones and taken it away. She's a tradition, this is when it comes to stone bowl. She's weeing and holding the stone in her mouth. I'm trying to put it back on the field at the same time. That's why you've got to have a nip of my as a house lunch bag Harry Potter

label on the field. I've just chucked that off, but I had no need to do that. That's I don't want my field fulled by the work of that anti-stone clearer. Right, we'll also do a little spit there. Clearing stones all the way of course. Let's get Wolfie back on her knees, she's got the fur hanging off her. Poor Wolf, she moults like any innocent little bitch.

Don't you, Wolfs? Well, we're coming in. I'm going to see if the ditch that stopped Brexit can stop Donald Trump becoming the autocratic leader of the free world. Autocratic by democracy, but you know, that happens. That's how it starts. I suddenly wondered why nothing was coming out of my headphones then, I remembered I was doing a podcast. I'm a confused old man in many ways. Doing a lot of kicking, all front heel, well not front, whatever the front bit of the foot is called, toes, and sort of the bit behind the toes. Now I'm going to stoop to conquer, ah stoop to conquer, picked up three stones that ones are bounced down the animal challenge the next field that's gonna be hard to bridge that

trail it's a very slanty one we'll get there eventually we're getting there or despite another nice stone oh and another one and some more dog to stone starzy but the way in the distance look at the size of this one wolfs i love those those are like the ones that come out in a brick shaped but aren't bricks these are the stones upon which my church will be built literally looks like a man called peter an actual stone called Peter right let's see where we're at no one come in a nice whitish brown stone with a bit of grain it that can go atop the main can

does not seem to be growing i certainly think tourists are coming It does not seem to be growing. I simply think tourists are coming stealing stones. Don't do that. There are no rules to stone clearing. Rule one. Any man who takes a stone off this field shall be kerfed for always. I've taken loads off and looked at my life. Let that be a warning to you. You may be kerfed to wander around a field endlessly even once you're dead I think I might be dead already and this is just the hell I've left myself I like it rather than being in heaven well unless it's stone heaven which is full of even more stones maybe this is heaven we'll explain why this stones never go down oh I can see my can now from in the other field.

I couldn't see it the other day. Still there. Not sure I'll ever go back up to that one. It is in many ways my greatest achievement only because the stones up there are really fucking big. Down we come, oh, I've just remembered I nearly forgot wolves there's something I've got to do isn't there Wolfie yes there is you know there is clear some stones I'll do that there's There's a branch out there, a deciduous tree, no sorry, an evergreen tree, the absolute exact opposite of what I meant. Some branches have come off and landed on the field probably due to a storm. You'll notice I'm not taking those off. That's another ten minute stone

clearing. Don't clear things that aren't stones unless you feel like it like the Harry Potter thing I cleared. Right Wolfie rushing ahead she's doing another poop. Who's the poop machine today? That one is definitely far away off the beaten track and tiny that one could stay there anyone walking on there deserves everything they get right into the Brexit ditch the ditch that stopped Donald Trump Donald Trump does not live through the next few days you'll know what has killed him. Don't come after me Donald Trump fans.

I picked up a couple of nice stones for the alphanumeric end, and now do I put them on now or when I actually leave? Because I've got to go back all the way over there, haven't I? Like an idiot. I thought I was near to the opening, I'm not. I guess I'll do both because I'm passing twice. I'll do some now and I'll do some later. Luckily there's a big clump of stones right by the a better cairn created by nature than I created in seven years of doing this

shit. Absolutely pathetic. A pathetic life I lead. Just had a rare moment of life I lead. Just had a rare moment of understanding and vision of self-awareness. That's the word I'm looking for. Right, come on let's go and pick up your poop. More work going on in that garden. Those guys have got a bit of dosh. We've built a second house in the garden. could clear some stones here of course let's do a flick to kick to flick and that one's now definitely off. And Wolfie's actually made me aware of a stone I wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't done that so the joke's on her. Right let's pick up your poop. Get on the nice ruby stone there. That's gotta come off, that's like a ruby. It might actually be a ruby.

Off it goes. No stone is worth more than any stone, any other stone in my world. Right, there it is. There's your poop wolfs, ow! Got stung by, scratched by some kind of bush there. No good deed goes unpunished does it wolf? A lot of people just left that. That's a bit more of a snotty nose than I anticipated having to say.

Right come on we've got to go to the house. We've got to go to the house. Check everything's okay. We need to pick up another stone for the alphanomagican. It's the alphanomagican's lucky day today, I have to say. We're going backwards around the field. Some people think that's a sign of bad luck. Never go round your field backwards, for if you do the devil shall get in. Your stones will be turned to grain and your pebbles turned to beer by the devil who hates anything that isn't queer. anything that isn't queer. Very old-fashioned view I think there and also you there I think a lot of people would think I'm quite hungry I'll see if I could get the grain and beer going so it was actually an advert for going

backwards if anything and who decides what's forwards and backwards maybe I've been doing it backwards the whole time this is the end time I've done it forward. You can explain all the beer and grain lying around the field. Right there we go, alfronomic again. Well fed today. Those gardens will love me forever. We'll take this poop to the dog poop bin. We'll take the poop to the dog poop bin. Have you been? It stinks quite bad. Uh, you're just trying to have a look at your emails. Happy New Year, Rich. Thank you. Is this the first one of this year? No. She's an idiot.

It's middle January. Can't do Happy New Year now. Put on the terms of Harry David, but it's too late for Happy New Year. Uh, you may think it's too late for Happy New Year, but as you'll see from the date I sent this on the 1st of January, one second past midnight. Fair enough. Who, what's your name? I didn't look at your name, let's have a look and see. Digger Sawn Tree. Digger Sawn Tree. D digger maybe from Australia. Hello digger.

Hi Rich, happy new year as I said and as I then said you may recall it is happy new year for me in fact because I'm from Australia it's not happy new year for you yet sorry you're still in 2024 what's it like? Anyway assuming you read this in 2025 on about January 17th. Hello. Is that it? Is that Digger's Horn tree? Digger's Horn tree doesn't have much to say. tree. The dead sawn tree doesn't have much to say. Let's see if anyone's got a question. Can't speak, miss a guy. Wolfie stay here, keep going. I can't speak. That's nice.

We left the light on in the house, Katie noticed that. So we drove past, you drove past the other day. Right, let's cross over. Let's see if there's any other letters. Christmas tree bins. Christmas tree bins, sorry. So Christmas is their first name. Maybe they're from Africa or something like that. Sometimes they're called things like that in Africa, aren't they? I mean, they're not trying to... white people, I mean. So the other race is one. Happy Christmas Rich! I always say that because I'm Christmas so I can say that any time of year because my name is actually Christmas. And no I'm not from Africa, like I reckon

you will assume, I'm actually from Darlington, so checking your own prejudiced views on the world. And that's all I'm emailing to say actually I don't have anything to say about stoneflipping. All right well look we've had some fun it feels like the emails have bit cracked this week so I'm going to say goodbye and enjoy your stonefli friend, And they've a halfing year merry dance. Don't liffen to the bird fan-tree, Don't liffen to your underpants, Liffen to the stone, Liffen to the stone, And they in turn

Hallifern to ye, My friend, my fine friend. Fftone clearing with Richard Herring starred me, Richard Herring and little cheeky Wolfie the dog. There were a few stone stars in there weren't there? There was a quite scary man who was going in to work on that house as well. That's why I went quiet near the end and got a bit perturbed. The music is by Mike Coughgrade.

The voice of the Fftones is Michael Faheem. Listen to the fdones, my friend, And they fount in ye a merry dance. Don't listen to the birth and treif, Don't listen to your underhand, Live unto the throne, Live unto the throne, May in turn fall live her to ye, my friend, my fine friend.