Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 182

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

Stone Clearing Chapter 182 - Fane January Hare. It's 9.20am on January 30th 2025 and Rich and Wolife had returned to their old manor to clear stones or bring them back on the field, depending on which one you're talking about. The Stocean has a moft unufual fifh fwimming in it and there are warnings about licking stones, but otherwise this one is mainly a waste of your valuable time. Unlike the other chapters. Plus Rich wrongly thinks the recording has stopped and you get some nice free traffic noise. To donate to the No Solero February fund head here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/nolero

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Hello my finest of friends, hello flag hags. Welcome to chapter 182 of Stoneclown with Richard Herring Wolfie the dog. She's here. It's Thursday the 30th of January 2025 and it is about nine twenty o'clock. Just going to check I've got the car key ahead. Yeah we're just going to do a quick whiz around the field. We've come up here for my personal training session but Wolfie needs a walk as well. I haven't got the poo bags, I've chosen poop, I forgot about the poo bags. Don't poop Wolfs! Oh no, I've got one, don't worry. We'll find that. No, sorry, we've been away for weeks. It's been quite busy Big news is I'm giving up Soleros for the February. I don't know if I'll make it through the month If you want to help me in that endeavor going, go to my Just Giving page, look for Lerro, no Lerro,

no L-E-R-O, or just check out my webpage or Twitter feed, you'll find links there. Blue Sky, if you feel like donating a bit of money, I'm going to return for all these amazing stone-turning podcasts with almost a scope which I know is nothing to do with stones and it's helping human beings who are made of flesh but it's important to retain a small bit of humanity before you become a man entirely made of stone. No man is an island apart from a stone carer who has literally been converted into stone and is in some water. Anyway we're coming up onto the Fieldock Duckets Passage. Crops growing nicely in rows. It's a lovely day, it's a blue sky. Nothing but blue sky

and some clouds. Here we are, wolves, no one's around. Just you and me, the stone stazi. We're not expecting this one. All right, Wolfie must be desperate for the lead. So I'll get off the lead. A couple of convenient stones for the alpine. I'm going to go can there. Still stones washed down by the flood the great floods Good girl, off we go and yeah we've got a lot of I would say nearly advanced information in the last podcast the last chapter there may be more in this one, just keep your ears open. We are heading towards the expert, or at least very hard, oh whoopsie

now that must feel good whoops. I've been stuck in the back of cars, you didn't poo in the car this time so you know, be grateful for small Mercedes. No, it's a Volkswagen actually. Doing a few kicks of flick. Well, shall I do a backward flick? Now we've learned that.

There we go, that was a good one. Wolf, you like that? Chasing up. The ground is quite damp, the sun is quite low in the sky and right in front of me at the moment which makes it hard to spot. The Phtone Phtophee who were out in force last time, Mini Hasselhoff, I've spotted a nice Phtone. It's only probably small, large but I'll think those. Wolfy pooping and not much I can do about it.

It's off the field. All I can do is really put it under a stone and hope that the gods forgive me for forgetting my... I hope it's a steaming pile of poop. But it's now the first stone in a can as a top it. No one's going to step on it and that's the important thing. No child will play in it. It's good poop balls. And you can use a dog poop as the beginning of your can if you want then anyone...

Oh, there's a hare. I hope you didn't see that. And you can use a dog poop as the beginning of your care if you want then anyone... Oh! I think there's a hare, Wolfie didn't see that. January hare running across the field. That was a beautiful thing to see. Just over into the distance. Luckily Wolfie didn't see it because she would have absolutely gone for it. Or him. Or however that hare identifies, I know.

Don't have to worry about that anymore do we now have Trumps in thank goodness back to two genders and yeah here we are little bit of flint off there nice nice sharp bit. Tiny stone so far, cleared so far today. What was that? I felt something against my foot. Was it a stone that wanted to come off? So yeah, going before my personal training session again today. I still have some energy. Nice kick. Oh, that one's gone too far through the fence, down rolling into the garden. Another kick. Doing a lot of kicking today. You can probably hear the kicks. It's a good way to get the stones off the field, I'd say, especially as you become an older stone clearer.

You might not want to bend as much. Those ones at the edge, after 7 or 8 years you should be getting past the... ...there being any stones at the edge, so I'm just clearing up the last few here. Doesn't maybe have the accuracy of the throne stone, not the throne stone, I'm talking about the stone of Schoon. I'm talking about the thrown stone. But so with practice you can, oh that's a nice flick up and then off. With practice you can get some direction on those stones. You know, and you've got all the rest of your life to practice this. Every day is a practice.

You'll never perfect your stone clearing technique you can only improve it again I'm being called to come here come here there's a couple calling to me here a little hassle off over there whoa see this is these are being picked up and thrown it's too far to kick that's the biggest of the day, that's veering into medium. I'm going to kick one from here, see how we did. Sometimes it can take a couple of kicks, one kick, Wolfie's in the way, two kicks and it's off.

Wolfie, Wolfie, leave it! Wolfie wanted to got it, well you got one didn't you? Wolfie's picked one up and put it back on, but I can get it off again, we can play this game all day. It's sometimes worth bringing a decoy stone with you for your dog that you can throw off and on that isn't actually from this field, from your field. Then you can, while they're chasing the decoy stone, you can be throwing off the actual stones. The stone decoy stone should not be made of stone of course because there are no rules

to stone clearing, that's rule one of stone clearing and i've told you that yet rule two yeah you must leave every cleared stone on the edge of the field from whence it comes so uh any stone that is not on a field has been stolen from its homeland it's not a stone snazzy-starzy, but I didn't. Right in the corner where the natural cairn has developed, and it should be usable, I think you could use that as the base of a cairn eventually, but I'm going to for now go to my cairn in the corner of the field, which is a bit further away from the corner of the field than the cairn that's actually from the corner of the field than the cairns, that's actually in the corner of the field. One day they'll meet up. Definitely quiet out here, apart from the hairs on the back of my neck.

You know, the hairs running around on the field. It's always nice to see. It feels magical. I remember when I was on chemotherapy, birds would change into hairs, different creatures as they ran across the field or sat in shadows. Sometimes they were logs. I think there is a magic in the hair that you don't get with your common common or day common or garden that's it rabbit or day rabbit. The hair has magic within it and can lead you to the prize. Kit Williams new. Fairly masquerade fans out there. I just know I'm meant to be dead by now. Well, if I'm this out of breath walking around a field, I don't know what my personal training

session's going to be like. Another kick. I've kicked more than I've picked today. Pick it, lick it, flick it. Don't lick it. Come up to some dog poo on the stone. Pick it, don't lick it, flick it. Don't be sick on it. Don't put your dick on it unless you have permission from the staff.

Right, coming up to the cairn across from the main cairn. We're whizzing round today. I had a fear that it was a stone sazzy coming up my arse. Something I dream about, nightmares about that. It's always the horrible old men, one of the pretty young ones who are coming up my arse. Pegging me with stones sometimes, the stone stars, that's what they'll do to you. with stones sometimes the stones does that's what they'll do to you. It's cold stones coming in and out in and out over and over again. It's what I fear it's horrible for me it's obviously I wouldn't like that it's horrible for the stones they don't like to be moved around in the best of times but not back

and forth into some poop. I did just put some stones in poop, you are right. I'm a hypocrite in many ways. They haven't stood the job they had to do. Right, I'm going to throw here, slightly risky because the sun's right in my eyes. Can't see if there's any stone stardew there. Nicely off the field though.

Don't take risks like that at home, please I'm a professional. Oh, Wolfie's picked it up anyway. I threw it quite a long way. Wolfs, drop it. Good girl. Never gonna get it back now, it's too far. Got close. Wolfie will probably bring it back to me again. That's why you need the decoy stone for moments like this. Or a ball. A ball would do. Crossing this path I've crossed so many times before we'll start picking up the stone. We're trying to get them off. Now just have to throw it forwards. We'll get out of one way or the other of this stone, it's coming off. It might be the only one we do on this whole journey. Wolfie's standing over it, guarding it. Well, it's not interesting picking it up this time,

because after another stone I've just found... Where did that one go, wolves? Is that it there? Should be wet. Was this it? I think that was it, but I'm not even sure. What have you done with my beautiful stone? Well, one stone's coming off one way or the other.

And again I spotted something. This is coming up to an area where there's often a lot of big stones as you know. I spotted something I liked out here. There's a couple of things I like out here. This one can come off. Oh that's bigger than it looked. Oh that's a real iceberg. Oh it's nice and big. But that's important, this is the one that got my attention. Now we've got got this is the biggest of the day walks look at that that's his biggest wolfie snout oh there's loads of

stones out here I can't stop to pick them all up I'll be back guys I'll be back nothing can keep me from this field oh there's so many out here. How's there still so much? Even though it's a beautiful day the stones are cold as you carry them. Surprisingly nobody else around is eerie but maybe 920 is just that sweet spot Alright we've got them across horse. If we put you back on your lead so you can head down the hill. Really freezing cold stones. It doesn't compute when the sun is warming your skin and the stones are freezing your hands. One of the most confusing states a human being can be in.

The psychological tortures of this good job are the things that we will probably be covering once we get to chapter 200 and beyond so only stick with us if you are of strong moral fibre you should really should realize that already there's a lot of I should give a trigger warning there's danger of death in this podcast both for me out here with a stone stowsey always looking to get me and to you possibly a. I see a horse with a rider I think on the opposite hill slowly trotting along the top of the hill. I want to see my familiar friend the hare again, my January hare.

Do you remember Reharis Bur first arts again on Monday? Dave Gorman and Larian Paul will be the guests. Dave Gorman is coming out pretty soon and will be officially part of the last series in fact. Marion Pall will open the new series. Good to be back, don't know how long the house is going to last, there's no stone clearing that's for sure. Need bums on seats and also human beings attached to the bums. Now my tour as well of course, going to have my ball back starting up Bishop Stortford on Friday, Radlett on Saturday, Luton next week, then a few weeks before it officially starts, those

all warlock gigs because I have completely forgotten the show. Completely. Gonna be a nightmare. But you know, I think up something. I've got a tape of it, I'm trying old old old old man. I'm an old cold bold stold folded old and folded. No songs that I have there. It's a shame. I like it when he puts the songs in, do you? I do. Picking up some. Did I throw one? I think I did one in there. I'll throw one into the ditch to stop Brexit just in case I forgot. I don't think I did. I think I just didn't mention it. Because it doesn't bear thinking about what the consequences will be if I didn't put some stones in there. And here's the Alpha and Omega Cairn again, I've got a couple of little niceies for this. I'm going to kick one on, that's the nice sound of a clink clunk every trip, Clink clink every trip on the new Jimmy Savile. I've taken over all of his

duties. He was a big stone clearer. Of course, one of his charity work. I'm coming down dog is passage and got some emails to look at. Got an email from Wolfie Collar, Wolfie Collar, same name as my dog. Yeah, hi, it's me Wolfie Collar and now I've got the same name as your dog, that's part of the reason I'm emailing in of course and also my surname could be taken to be Wolfie's collar but it's not just my name Wolfie is a nickname my real name was Wolfgang Wolfgang Amadeus collar no relation to the famous dead magician but my friends call me Wolfie could you stop calling your dog Wolfie I was called that first. I am over seven or eight years old when Wolfie is. I'm a grown man.

And a lot of people laugh. You know, a lot of people say Wolfie in the O'Rot. Right, the dog from the Taring Centering podcast. Everywhere I go, passport offices, shops, see my name. So could you please change Wolfie's name? Do something that isn't my name. Wolfgang, that, oh my love Wolfgang.

I'm a deist color, maybe also don't have a very good color. Just as well, cause that might also be confusing. Well, thank you for that. I can't change the name of Wolfie, actually. The actual name though is of Wolfie unfortunately. Her actual name though is Professor Wolfenstein so it's actually quite a different name to yours. And she is a registered professor. I've never had one of those honorary degrees or professorships or something to give out but Wolfie has school to Hence Professor Wolfenstein back in the house.

I've got a condensation on the windows in my house. That's a little bit inevitable. I've been lying empty. So wait and hope and dream. That's all one might want to buy a beautiful house in the countryside. Um thanks for listening that's all we've got for you this time. Mad March hairs in January. Couldn't take a photo, left the front with a different photo. Unless... Why don't we have a picture of Professor Wolfenstein? Hmm. Don't know if this... yeah, sorry. Don't know when it stopped. So it was only just when I took it out.

We're home anyway, so... Thanks for listening. Enjoy your gardening. Enjoy your stone clearing. Goodbye my loves. Halfing ye a merry dance, Don't lift unto the bird fan tree, Don't lift unto your underpants, Lift unto the stone, Lift unto the stone, And they in turn Faliper to ye, my friend, my fine friend.

Stone clearing with Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog, Stub me, Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog, And a sane January Hare. The music is by Mike Cofgrade, the voice of the photons is Michael Faheyne. ["Liffen To The Fount"] Liffen to the fount, my friend, and they founting in ye a merry dance.

Don't listen to the birth and tre them to the stones, and they in turn fall lift them to ye, my friend, my fine friend. And...