Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 183

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

Chapter 183, Banana Ftone: It's around about 10am on 12th February and a Soleroless Richard Herring feels he is going mad. Can you see which stone in the picture he thinks resembles a banana? I bet you get it wrong. Anyway it's a quick jaunt round the Stocean, made even quicker by the removal of a 5 minute conversation with a member of the Stone Stasi, who fell for Richard's non-dog walking lies. But there's still loads of great content in this brief podcast, but whatever it is I can't remember what it is, writing this as I am about 29 hours later. To sponsor Richard head to http://justgiving.com/page/nolero

Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Hello my final, finest friends, it's 10.29 on the 13th of February 2025. Going out for a quick stone clear. Sons Wolfie I'm afraid. I've got a personal training session in 30 minutes so I haven't got long but a stone cleared is a stone no longer on the Stan and any stone that comes off here I think we can be pleased to see go. I feel bare without the dog and I feel dog without the bear but it's good sometimes to stone clear naked. I can just claim I'm warming up before my session if anyone asks, that's what I'm gonna say. I'm doing... I'm doing what you do and how dare you walk around here without a dog! Sometimes I think I might be a bit mad, you know, but then I think, no, it's everyone else who's mad.

You're the only sane and rich, that's what I think. Should be an easy find for the alphanumeric again. Lots of stones here still from the terrible flood. And no-one around, Stoatian looking not that much different from the 30th of January, which was the last time I was here with you. And if I'm honest, the last time I was here. Don't get to come up obviously so much these days. There, there's some nice stones cleared there. Off they go. So getting close

to some George's flag flying in the back garden of that person there, what a patriot. What a fucking patriot. This stone's calling to me. We haven't got much time today guys. I could stand here. This is another bit flick to kick, gone off far enough. I like the kind of patruses and where your flag is in the back garden so you know you don't want too many people to know what's going on sort of secret patches and in the same way you could meet up with your Nazi mates a little secret for you guys and this is no good I've hassled off doubt this is not gonna get me around the field quick but plenty of stones to get here. See if you leave it for a couple of weeks the stones they do grow and you've got to keep picking the stones up guys. There's a beauty here actually

I'm tassel hoffing again a nice banana shaped stone. I mean it's quite an odd banana and that could go on my newest can. I mean there's no way this stone was here before, I would have definitely seen that before. That's appeared as if from nowhere. These other ones calling to me. Let's see if I can get a picture of the banana stone. Doesn't look like a banana in this picture, I can tell you that.

Let's see if I can make it look more banana like. There we go, it's a bit more. You have to decide which one you think is the banana from that picture. Banana stone. Still going. Still going. Right so we're whizzing round, four minutes gone already. Just a whizz to give you fears. It's a grey stye overcast, could do with a wee, might do a wee if I can find a little spot. I mean I'm not far from my own toilet. But you know every second counts in large amounts. To quote Paul Daniels in Tears for Fears. Oh it's a bit of a lump of is that? A bit of Roman Villa. It's kind of travelled a long way if it is, looks like a bit of brick, it's off the field now, whatever it is. Moving quick, throwing brick, getting out my dick, weeing on some sticks, haven't done a wee yet, but you'll hear when I do, this is a

bit exposed here, to be exposing myself don't want to get in trouble with the local cunts strawberry you know not much to say is it but here's another stone cleared flick to click flick to click might try and wee on one of my cans just again when you're away from the field a little bit you do have to assert your dominance if that means giving a Roma signal to follow stone clothes they, any stoneclearer worth their salt will, if they come to a new field, will have a little sniff of any cairn they come across just to check to see if it's fresh, to see if someone's claimed it. So do, don't be ashamed to wee

or masturbate to your cairn. We'll make love to it. Don't be ashamed of that. Those are all natural feelings. Just be careful you don't get caught. Society does not yet understand. I think President Trump has already declared that people in America not have sex with stones. And it just shows you, small-mindedness, small, my petty, being used as a scapegoat really, just to make the scared and so-called normal people feel better about themselves. Well look I'm gonna try and this is a bit exposed. I'm gonna try and put there is a can here so I can wee on it. Don't try

this at home. Should talk over the weeing just so it's not too graphic. Some people people will of course get off on this. You discussed me. President Trump is right to get you guys, you, we guys, although it's ironic with him isn't it? Because we always fear the thing we are I suppose. The week's over now if you wanted to turn away out of coyness or sensitivity. Now I thought I'd start in this business and then I thought I'd be recording myself urinating in a field. It just shows how far I've come. The highs and lows of my career. This is one of the highs obviously. It's one of the

highs. But I've got to be all ready for the training session. Can't have a full bladder. You have to be ready to escape at any moment. Some Rehabilitator gigs coming up. We're in Leicester this weekend and not Leicester Square, someone's bought tickets thinking they were going to the Leicester Square. Booked their trip to London, have no show to see, sorry about that, but you know is that my fault? Scarcely, partly but not really. And the tour starts soon, do come along, just give tip me the wink if you're a stone clearing fan, don say anything you can buy membership cards for stone clearing from me at the moment to our stocks last on the tour so probably worth coming to see the show just for that

a cairn across from the main cairn. Picked up a stone already. It's the little arrowhead sized shaped stone. It'll be a big arrow though. I feel like there was something all along here I had to pick up and there was something. I can't remember which one it was now. I feel I laid one down for later, so to speak. But if so, it's gone from my memory banks. I'm an old man, confused man, I'm a paranoid man. Wee-ah! There's a nice lob, oh beautifully just bounces. That was like a little brown turd. It wasn't a turd though, do be careful, always look out for turds. Sometimes can look like stones, more often stones look like turds. So yeah, getting around nice and quick. I know many of you need a longer podcast on this to

properly fall asleep, but you know, maybe run a couple of them together. But you know, maybe run a couple of them together. Just want to keep my hand in as the year progresses. It'd be a shame to miss out on a February stone clear. I have given up Saleros as well for February, obviously. For Celeros February, but most of you are probably doing it. Some of you unknowingly, but if you feel like sponsoring me for that, just giving.com slash page slash nolero, n-o-l-e-r-o. If you feel like you should be giving something back for the many hours of what I like to

call entertainment that I've given you. We're back at the Feckind area. Oh, there's a dog on the way. I wonder if I can get away with the one because then I've picked up. That's annoying. Just coming to the feckoned area and the stone stars have arrived. I'm going to slip this one into my pocket. Ah, there's such a good one there.

Damn this. Someone wearing like a reflective orange jacket. They made me a man, they made me a woman. Ah, look how many good stones there are. Why would they just appear now? Oh look how many good sounds there are, why wouldn't they just appear now? Shh! They're stopping for a chant. That's not what I wanted. No, no dog today, I'm just warming up for my personal training. Yeah, we sometimes bring her up here. Still, but yeah. Very good. I better get on because I've got to get to my thing. See you later. Nice to

see you again, take care. All right. Sorry? Okay. Right. Well, I had to have cut all out, but I had a nice long chat about Stone Starz's grandparents and if my house is selling or not. Even Stone Starz deserves some privacy. Maybe I'll go out as an extra for badges but I don't think so. Do become a badge and go for a subscribe.com slash badges if you want to give money to us. Join my sub stack if you want to give money to me. And just enjoy the stuff.

Enjoy is the wrong word. Just enjoy the stuff for free. Right, so I've got lucky to have a stone in my pocket for the Brexit ditch, whether I'll be able to do my up for an omega k. I don't know because I've got a stone star right up my anus. Nicely covered by leaves, but you could probably hear the satisfying click there. Might be able to just kick something onto there. Great escape style here. That'll do I think. Right we're coming down Duckett's Passage. And type your e. Sorry it's been a bit of a rush job and you've missed some scintillating chat. Here's a Duckett's passage, here's the emails and we've got SLAT, SLATSTICK, but

they're called DEM SLATSTICK at school, SLAT, SLATSTICK, SLAT, unusual name, they're not from the country, that's wrong, let's find out from the email, what usually do you say, Hi I'm SLATSTICK, as you'll have noticed from my email header, there's no need to necessarily repeat that. I come from the country of slat here, where everything is slatted in this country. So everyone's first name is slat. The only building material we have is slat. It has to be slatted. it has to be slatted or it's not allowed so as you can imagine this on planet earth may maybe get some people in from alternate realities here as you can imagine it makes stone cluing quite difficult when you have to slat stones together one by one but But you know, do my best. I just got out of my car, I've got a few minutes, got to change my shoes. That was me saying

that but not the flat stick. How would you cope if... I'm still reading, I'm back to reading, I'm talking to you down reading there. I think how would you cope if you had to slap your stones together rather than just heap them up in a pile, mingledy-pingledy style. Well, I think this is a... I'm not an idiot. This does not sound like a real email at all. This sounds like occasionally people chance across the podcast and they think they can prank me. There's no such thing as Slatvia. You'll think of Latvia or maybe Slovikiia, which is a place. So I'm not going to fall for this, but if I had to slap my stones together, that would be fine. You know, you just find two stones that would comfortably slat and that is that. Of course it's difficult to get slatted stones in the old English that we will be employing from episode 200

onwards because then it's flat, slat and flat, that's spelt and pronounced the same. People just think it's flat stones which I suppose slatted stones are so it won't be that bad. Right well I think we're done. Where are my glasses? I'm such an old man. When did I grow so old and stupid and mad? Thanks for listening. We'll see you... sorry you missed the best bit. We'll see you next time. Enjoy your stone clearing. To the stone my friend and they for helping ye merry dance Don't listen to the bird fan tree don't listen to your underpants Listen to the stone, listen to the stone, Liffen to the stone,

And they in turn, I'll liffen to ye, My friend, My fine friend. Stone clearing with Richard Turing and Wolfie the Dog. Stard me, Richard Turing, and not Wolfie the Dog. Stard me, Richard Turing and not Wolfie the Dog. Sorry she wasn't there. We did talk to the nice lady but we had to cut her out because it wasn't fair to put

that out online. The music is by Mike Coughgraze. The voice of the Fatones is Michael Fahean. Don't listen to the birds and trees, Don't listen to your underhand, Liven to the stones, Liven to the stones, And they in turn, Foul-livered to ye, My friend, My fine friend