Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 2

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

Ground Spiders. It's Sunday 18th November and the sun is just coming up. Most of you are in bed, but Richard and Wolfie are already up and clearing stones and pooing respectively. Today's podcast is about the items that can trick you into thinking they are stones, plus the search for the mythical great white stone, hiding somewhere in the Stocean. Hope you like the new theme tune written by Mike Cosgrave. For more info on stone clearing see www.richardherring.com/warmingup If you have any questions about stone clearing send them to [e-mail]

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Hello there and welcome to chapter 2 of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring. It's Sunday the 18th November and it's currently I haven't got my watch on. It's about 7 o'clock or something, 7.30 maybe. And we're just heading up to the old stone ocean, the Stotion as some people call it. You can pass the road there. Wolfie come here. Hold on, hold on, hold on. And Wolfie's off so today we're going to be looking at some of the things that can catch you out

when you're stone clearing and just some more basic tips as we head around the field and also well hopefully we'll find get some exciting finds that we'll just you'll get to witness live so to speak. But you know you can never guarantee when that's going to happen. I know somewhere out there in that stone ocean there is the biggest stone possible. My great white stone and I am seeking it down. Regardless of the cost of myself. I've had several injuries already. My arm really hurts. I think this is from sleeping on it rather than throwing stones around. But you know who knows. So yeah the sun is just coming up.

Beautiful out here. There's a light. Almost frost. It's sort of half between dew and frost on the field today but conditions are good. It's actually good if the sword's a little damp. I know the sun just over the brow of the hill there. That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I wish you could see this. So straight away I can see some issues out here. Dog poo that is. It's something we've touched on before. Not literally well though actually. That will happen to most stone clearers at some point. We're looking for things that can catch you out now. It's autumn.

Going into winter now which means there are leaves on the ground. Picking up a few stones as we go. Oh drop one and remember the rule is if you drop it you have to pick it up. These are all fairly small stones but what you have to remember is a stone clearer. If you pick up five little stones together that equals one quite big medium sized stone and so on really. So no stone is too small. That's gone on the bench pile which is coming along nicely. Yes dog poo is something to look out for especially in the half light the crepuscular light of dusk or dawn. Last night I came out and did some stone clearing in the night.

We will do a night time stone clearing podcast at some point for those who are slightly more adventurous. There's some good stones. I don't know where all these stones are coming from because I've cleared this area so many times. Look at that. That's a huge one coming out there comparatively for this. So near to the edge here and they're going in my under bush stone pile which is again a pretty good one. You can hear from the clunk there I hope that that was quite a decent sized stone to find just a foot from the shore. Yes the things that can catch you out and that's what we're talking about. The things to be careful about in the dark in the half light in the dark with a torch obviously it's very difficult to stone clear in complete darkness. Of course stone clears the past must have done that or maybe I candle light I suppose I don't know you know I don't know the details.

But yeah especially when the lights bad let's get on to what I'm trying to say. It's very easy to mistake a leaf for a stone your torch captures something it looks brown you go to pick it up down it's just another leaf. Even in the daytime that can be a problem and there's leaves all around the edge of the field which again when you're starting out stone clearing that is the place you will mainly be. You might as well start from the edge it's easier you can get more stones off the field from the edge obviously then having to trace out into the middle of the field. Every now and again you'll look out you'll see a stone almost on the horizon that you can't resist your hassle off out rescue it. Sometimes it will be the big stone that you're hoping for other times it will just be a tiny one that's caught the light or something that isn't a stone so leaves what I've noticed. I don't know if there's some kind of ground spider session this time the crops are low which will just weave its web across little divots. In the field maybe left by someone taking out a large stone for example and again when the light catches that in a certain way.

Then that can trick you and of course dog poo it's just a thing to watch out for I mean you know you you can sometimes think oh that's a stone. Always check it definitely the stone I've got I persist a little stone under here it doesn't want to come out and I think I won't leave it. It really didn't want to come out that one and you sometimes have to listen to the stones that one another day be patient don't be complacent the stones will always be here. You may not always be here but you have time time is on your side yes it is. Don't be overwhelmed by the huge of this field. I mean it's hard to know it literally every single square meter just on the top has. You know 30 40 stones. I don't know how many square meters there are in the field.

I don't know how deep down the stones go. More dog poo there you know again it's pretty easy to spot but if you just get excited about so especially in the dark. There might be some poo around it. Now a stone clearer can't be afraid about getting his hands dirty in fact they have to get their hands dirty. That is basically the job that you set yourself but you don't want to be going around picking up turds. Even as I am today I'm backing my gloves today my mechanics DIY gloves. I think it's worth wearing gloves at least some of the time. I think it's very important not to wear gloves all the time.

It's very important to feel the stones and the temperature of the stones. That's a nice size one very near to this edge again it's some more. I don't know where they come from but it's almost like what I'm doing is a complete waste of time. You walk down and you think well how the hell is there a dozen stones here look at these. I mean these are good size ones here I've got five or six just in one little portion again just. So yeah I mean don't get discouraged by the fact that this seems like an impossible task. It isn't if you keep going you will achieve your dreams that is my strongly nothing is impossible. Even one man clearing a gigantic field of stones.

So watch out for all those different things and a lot of people say you know what's how do I decide what to take off the field. What size of stuff should I take off is it just stones can take bricks off. Now I have a simple rule with this if it's organic there's no need to panic. I.E. don't take the stones off the field. The organic stuff off the field if it's not organic then chuck out the twat that is what I say. So anything that is made of soil or grass or poo or leaves of course you leave those there but anything else which can be stones can be concrete. Sometimes you find it can be archaeological artefacts metal. I've found several bits of metal probably a plow that have fallen off over the years.

All of that stuff has to come off regardless and anything bigger. Wolfie's just doing a poo I think. She's looking straight in the way she does it. Now Wolfie's let's just see do I know it was actually just a wee I think. I know there's a little poo there but it's off the field. It's in a place where I don't need to pick it up. I'm not a hypocrit. It's that was in a bush and that is why I'm decomposed through nature and no one will have to go through there.

I have the strong feelings about dog poo which I'm sure will come up a lot in this podcast. And I usually even if there's any grey area there with dog poo I will usually err on the side of picking up. That one I can promise you will just melt away into the earth of its own volition. So yes if it's organic no need to panic you can and if it's not then chuck out the twat. And as I say my friend Emma Kennedy's been on to me about the fact that I just want to throw everything off the field. That's the job okay. If you're not dry stonewallers any wall any path anything you're creating out of these stones is a offshoot to stone clearing. There's so many stones to clear you don't have time to place them all.

You can place some of them just for your own well-being. I think it's nice to think you're achieving something. But realistically you know there's a billions upon billions of stones out here. Anything bigger than you know grain of soil grain of sand. I've walked quite a long way out into the stone ocean here on to a little track halfway through just to see what's out here. And there are some good examples out here that's the thing if you want to start coming out a bit into the field you do start to find these larger stones again. But obviously you're a bit exposed to the dog walkers at this stage if they see you out in the field. It's very hard to disguise what you're all with. There's a beauty here.

I mean it's a Hermione's hand size clump. They're not a massive stone but I'm pleased with that. That's going to go on my I've got five six medium sized stones out here to say here that I've managed to get by just going a little bit further out from my usual haunts. This is reassuring because it means that a lot of these these size stones have gone from the first meter around the edge of the field. So I am making a difference what I'm doing isn't a waste of time while I'm doing is good. And yeah there's a nice little low wall developing here in the mid exit of the field. You can hear this just again from the clunk I'm sure they're the size of those stones I'm very pleased about that. There was a oh yes so you're getting stuff off this field.

That's what it's about. And it's you don't get leaves off you know it's in that that's not your job. You don't want to get twigs off that's not your job you'll see twigs there that's nothing. Don't worry those are ephemeral things they're like you they will rot away almost instantaneously in the grand scheme of time. These rocks are the things anything not organic that's what we're talking about. Sure metal will corrupt and rust but it will still last longer than you and your puny human form. And these leaves I mean these leaves are lying here arrogant as you like thinking they're the king of the ground. They don't realize either just helping the plant to grow by warming up the ground a little bit and be soon.

They will decay to nothing become just soil themselves just the wrapping for some stones and some lucky. See there I just thought oh there's a lovely stone. It was a slightly gray green leaf and that was that's the disappointment you can get. So you've got to be sharp eyed again there's another one right along this stretch. There's usually quite a lot of stones on here I haven't done this stretch all that much. Here's a nice little clump of medium sized tiny well tiny tiny pebbles ready to fight them together. Look that's one medium sized stone. That's the way to look at it and every single one of these stones has to come off this field for you to accomplish your mission.

So don't think oh no I've just picked up five little stones in the last four or five minutes. You've done your job and there's a dog walking behind me looking at me wondering what's going on. I don't know if he's going to come this way. Gungles is crossing across the field he's avoiding me so so far this time no real opposition. When you come out at night time again as we were discussing there in the night episode there's a lot to discuss about night stone clearing. The good thing about that is there are very few people out here you can take your time. You can clear a lot of stones without worrying too much. See those five stones I've been carefully looking for a pile and I've just spotted quite a nice...

I mean sort of that's some almost tennis ball size ball there just sort of small tennis ball. And so I just tossed those five little stones into some brambles. Now see Emma Kennedy thinks no you've got to build a dry stone wall Richard everyone must go in the wall. You throw these in at random believe me there's enough stones in here the wall will come without you crafting it all the way. I love this little this is my one of my favorite places to throw the stones this is a little slope under a tree. Very hard to group the stones through throwing but again I'm not worried because I'll be passing that tree. Hopefully maybe I don't know if I'm doing it seven hundred times a year maybe another ten twenty thousand times in my life. If I throw twenty thousand stones under that tree it doesn't matter does it think about it think.

It doesn't matter what where the stones go eventually they will create a wall and as I say please feel free to mix it up there are no rules to stone clearing. Rule one of stone clearing is there are no rules to stone clearing. Rule two of stone clearing is please be careful if you're throwing stones make sure there aren't any dogs or people around or other creatures. But those are the only rules there are no rules and that rule about throwing stones. Sure place if you want I'm just telling you if you try to place every stone if you try to build a perfect wall with cement. A you're not doing what the job is which is just to clear the stones anything else is peripheral and. Be another nice kick there I love do love kicking that was from quite a way out it's got right to the shoreline there and then. Just nip it randomly again into the bushes that will be part of the wall at some point.

You've got to get these stones off the field that's what you've got to do. And that's what I'm doing. And people said I'm mad people said I'll never do it. A lot of people you know worried that I will do it. Concerned farmers going to be upset because he's put the stones on this field for a reason. I don't think that's true. But be fucking get grip. I'm one man this.

I mean I've no idea I will one day work out how big this field is for you but just so you can get what you're saying in some kind of perspective. But fucking hell I'm sorry for the language this morning to any child stone clearers out there. Swearing isn't too big or clever when I'm just cross. You know the point of this is that it looks like I can never do it. And then when I do it you're going to be amazed. Oh lovely flat or it's like that same with a different center top that a little lump on it. Again those flat stones can be annoying because they look big on the surface and great. I found my great white stone which might not literally be wiped to metaphor.

And then they're actually not that big they're just a disk. But again everyone has to come off it doesn't matter. And yes the soil slightly claggy today. That's something to watch out for. And if you're wearing gloves that the gloves are getting ruined and useful for useless or DIY at any point. But it's quite good in terms of getting them out. There was that one stone I said that looked quite big. And I think like maybe just the point it was coming up at the top of real iceberg.

I decided to leave it be it made that choice it was resisting my efforts to get it out. So I left it be. The dog barking in the distance looking across the field now. So I basically crossed I'm not really even halfway across the field. If you're judging by how fast I'm walking you can probably hear my paces. If I were to go around the whole field I'd say I'm a third of the way around. So that you can start to judge the size of the field from that in your mind. I'm reaching a point here in this far corner where there are as I say this is one of the more fruitful areas.

You will find that there's just parts of the field where there seems to be pretty much nothing. And there are other parts where you know it's a real bonanza. My feet a little bit cold. I came out without socks. I just put my wellies on today and the ground is pretty cold. What I tend to do is I'm sure I've said and there will be a little repetition in this podcast due to the nature of stone clearing. It's being quite a simple thing with no real stuff to say about it. What I like to do if I find a big stone is to use that as the start of a pile of stone. And maybe later if we go there I'll also use some phenomena that's already there.

There's a big slab of concrete right over the other corner of the field that for some reason has found its way into the edge of the field. And I'm trying to get that covered and hidden away by stones because I don't think it really belongs here. I mean none of the stones belong here. That's sort of the point. The concrete especially is sort of a parody of stone. It's offensive to the stones and therefore I think it is apt if concrete. Another man made attempts to make something as good as stone from bits of stone. That should be dissuaded by being hidden away and so that's what I'm doing. So coming up to the top left hand corner as you're looking from the road I suppose of the field.

And this is the point that I like if there isn't many people around. There doesn't seem to be anyone around at the moment so I'm just having a look just to check if I won't be discovered. Again there is another field beyond this one. Maybe we'll get onto that one one day. So there's always the chance that someone could appear, see me talking to myself and picking up stones and thinking I was insane rather than doing an important job as I am. Oh yeah that was a lots of... I mean these are regulation sized stones basically. This is your meat and potatoes.

And they are about the size of a kind of potato. The varying sizes of potato there are but medium sized potatoes. So I hope that gives you an idea of the size of the stone we're talking about. So it's a nice little can. This is one that I remember sometimes plays. But then when I'm heading back across the field diagonally which is what I tend to be doing now. In fact I haven't gone this podcast where you've yet headed around the edge of the field yet. So we're still not encompassing the entire scope of the field on this podcast yet. So you can hear that I'm throwing these stones from a distance now because there's lots here.

Just a time saving thing Emma Kennedy. I can't go back and place each one of these individually. It'll make this job impossible rather than what it is at the moment. And there's a dog walking the distance but I don't think close enough to see what I'm doing. Oh I really want to get that one out. I do have a trowel in my pocket. Again some stone walkers, stone collectors would say well you know you can't use a trowel. That's against the whole ethos of this thing.

Sometimes I do. Today I feel I'll go traditional. And I'm just tossing these stones towards the pile. That one's gone on. That's good. That one's pretty close. There's just some amazing stones here that would take forever to clear if I walk them out. But that's basically the way it is. These ones are close enough to toss under on which is all I would do. No over on throwing. That's just my personal preference. You have to decide how far you're afraid to risk the lives of others.

That one's gone on to the edge of the path but you know that another day that will be clearable. That's what I'm saying. We're just trying to get the stones off. So yeah we're looking for sort of today in this pocket we're looking at things that can catch you out. And there isn't that much. You know I took the whole pocket on. The dog going for that one. And then disappointed that it's come to a stop. You know leaves as I say watch out for those cobwebs dog poo look out for that. Those are the main things I've come across.

But you know I'm putting myself out as a bit of an expert here but oh my goodness. The dog just trying to run into my face there. And again the dog so I've got to be very careful the dog is running for these stones which makes it risky. I'm heading back across the field now and I think I've reached the point where I can no longer really throw anything back. Anything I get now I have to pick up. And I have to decide whether it's worth carrying a stone now for 200 metres to the central can. Or whether I leave it for another day. There are some nice ones on the path when they're in.

A lot of them are trod right into the ground which makes them hard to get out. And again hopefully giving you some scale on this that's a nice that is a that's the size of a tennis ball. That's a you know that's one of my problems as a stone player. Anyone can stick clear stones doesn't matter your levels of ability or disability are not important. You can get everyone to get out and do this to some extent. You need persistence you need the same power. These are things that if you don't have you will not get there. Ideally you need quite big hands which I do not have.

I have little hands. I'm just picking up some of these potato sized stones and you all know what size the potato is. I don't need any more description of that. And I just have to rest them in the crook of my hand. My coat is very dirty in the soil again. I don't care about the dirt. I'm not afraid about getting my coat dirty or my hands dirty. You can try and still good hundred hundred fifty meters away.

I've got three stones. I'm trying to kick one stone here along the path. Or if you get excited about that see how far I can get it towards the middle of the field. I'm basically looking for I am sort of gold digging here and going for the. Oops. Careful. Going for the bigger stones. Just because at the moment I might as well.

I can maybe carry ten stones to this central point. I might as well make them big ones. I might as well get that job out of the way. And again by clearing some of the big stones. It does give you a feeling that you're achieving something. Whereas if I carry like twenty thirty tiny stones in my hands for three or four hundred meters. It's probably as really then I might feel foolish. Also when I put them down someone was going no one's coming.

I mean I've been lucky today. In terms of stone clearing in terms of the podcast it probably be more exciting podcast. If I was in danger of being discovered my secret identity. People saw what I was doing. I think the village would be an uproar. Or at least just think I was odd. So it's nice to come out a little early on a Sunday when people maybe normal the normals the non-storing stone clearing folk.

That maybe you recently were and now hopefully you are one of us. They are unlikely to be here at the stage. So yes I'm heading with this telegraph pole in the centre of the field that we all know about from previous podcasts. And I now currently have I have six stones in the crook of my left hand and arm. And three in my left, in my right hand sorry, my other hand. Two hands I have. It's important to know your left from your right. So thank you just try and maybe try and learn that before you start.

It just helps to know what and know which is your stronger hand. So I could start throwing those three towards the central pillar. But I think I'll place them today. I think you just have to do a bit of a spit there. I've got a bit of a cold. And that's the problem. A, if I had a hankie it would get dirty. And B, my hands are full of stones.

So yeah there's a good little clump starting up here. And I'm going to try and build this into quite a large mound. There's a lot of space here around. This is a little bush growing next to the pole. Plus a bit of area of ground that isn't really being used to cultivate crops. So I don't have to be too accurate here because eventually, you know, hopefully this pile will be four or five meters wide in the end. But I do want to fill it all the way around.

I don't want to hollow structure. I want this to be maybe six feet high. And again it's alright. So that means it's easy. There's a couple of little ones here. I'll just kick those. I mean on or towards. Sometimes you feel like I've started kicking.

I get it on and sometimes just think that's near enough. You know you could do a little scavenging around here if you wanted to do a place like this. There are a fair few big stones around here. And yeah look, you know, I'm sort of in the middle of the field. What are we looking? Half a kilometer that way? Third of a kilometer that way? I don't know.

And this, so it's an L shaped field. So this bit is the main field. And then the bit I come up first of all is the little bottom part of the L. There's a playground over there. If you do know where I am, please keep the secret. And please don't try and find your own field if you can. And I've come out a few feet and there you go. This is what I'm talking about.

There's just immediately, I mean these are the stones you've kind of, your bread and butter stones, your meat and potatoes stones. And that's a dinner dish worth of stones just there. In one hand, okay, a dog walker is coming from that secret corner. So I am going to start heading back. And these stones are going on the other side of the paragraph pole, which is less populated by stones. Well, let's go.

There's a big one just lying here, which I'll just toss towards me. Before we go, that might be one that I've thrown before by the looks of it. That looks like it'd been unearthed by someone or something. And that's it. You're just throwing them gently back, even if you're just throwing them a few feet, as long as they're in a position where they're more accessible, you can get them another day. This is, you're not trying to do this.

Rome wasn't clear the stones in a day, was it? It took a long time to do that. And patient, not complacent. Time's on your side. I'm carrying one stone now, down the, maybe two. I mean, I should get a bit better at working out how many meters there are. Maybe it's a hundred meters, I don't know. So the next place where I'll realize it, I can dump some stones.

And this is always the bit, you're on your way home. You've relaxed a bit, you've cleared a few stones. You can feel that you've achieved something already in my day, you know. Most of you are still in bed as I'm doing this. What have you done, nothing? I mean, go back, count up how many stones you think I've done, but at least 50, I'd say, and quite a lot of those good, good size ones today. Nothing extraordinary, nothing to put in the photo album.

Put up on the mantelpiece. I think any stone that's approaching the size of, say, a half a football, that's where, you know, you've got something special, that's when you can feel good about yourself. That stone has survived on this field this long, with this many plows going over it without being smashed to pieces. Down just picked up a ping-pong ball there. A ping-pong ball that's been splattered,

but I mean, not literally, I'm just giving you the sizes here. Just because it felt like the stone talked to me, the stone said, Rich is my time. Yeah, sure, there's other more fruity, juicy big stones around here that you may want to think, let's get the big ones off, but no, I want this one, it fits neatly in the centre of my palm. I can get another four or five stones in this, even in this tiny hand around this one,

but that stone wanted to be cleared. Getting close to the edge now with very few stones in hand, so I'm going to pick up a few from the path. You know, the path needs to be done, as well as everything else. Some of you are getting worried about whether that will make the path too sludgy. I don't think it will, I think the earth gets clumped down. And there are just a few tiddlers to add to this pile up. I mean, it's strange how some, and there's just two, I can't resist that.

Sometimes you just can't resist for some reason. The way they look, the way they shine in the sun, you want to take them, and that's your decision, you're making the stones to guide you. But ultimately, you decide which ones you're picking up, and you don't have to feel bad if you leave them behind. We're going this way, Wolfie. And this is, yeah, this is, I feel like this pile should be bigger. It's weird how my main show home is really big.

My main show wall, I suppose I should call it for the moment, until I've made it into a cabin for me to live in, which will make stone clearing a lot easier if I live out here on the field. Which, you know, if my wife may get me out eventually. Yeah, I don't know if other people are helping out. I know people have seen that. It's a lot more obvious, the big one, but it does seem to be going fast. But I think just because the stones around there are pretty big,

whereas the stones here are not as big. There's a tree here, which I've always been interested in. Again, could be a little place to deposit stones. And I've just put two ping-pong balls there. Kicked another big one a bit closer. Just sort of seeing what's out here, really. Hoping I won't get into trouble being out on the field. But I'm being careful about where I'm standing, to an extent.

But again, the crops do not matter. The crops will be here. Not even for a year, and then gone, and then digested. Throwing away, eating my pigs and humans. The stones, they have to be got off the field. And I've got one there. I missed my little game of throwing it at that pole, because I went into the field.

So sorry if you like that bit of the podcast. There'll be other times. And people say, how am I going to do this for Rich? You know, is this just like a silly thing? You know, once or twice? No. Every week, until the field is clear of stones, or until I die, whichever comes quicker.

And if I do not complete the task, I'll be passing instructions to my children to carry on. Weekly, whether they live in the Hampshire or not, they will have to come back from wherever they are in the world to do at least one day a week of stone clearing. And if they're coming along where they might as well have a day of it, bring their own families, and so on down the generations.

And hopefully, I mean, I'm hoping I'll do it myself, obviously. I'll live long enough for that. But if fate intervenes, or if the farmer kills, shoots me for being on his field, then so it shall pass down, and so on, for it is written, and so it must be shall. So yeah, I mean, ostensibly this podcast has been about the dangers of misidentification.

We covered that in about 30 seconds. There's not much to say about it, is there? But again, weirdly, just as we're talking about, I just looked at the ground and thought, oh, that's a nice one though, it's a leaf again. And there's a couple of little ones here. I'm just approaching my main can, and from this direction, picking is a small,

that's the weird thing. Coming across the field, I guess, because that's just the way it is, and the stones in the middle of the field are less light to be cleared by some good citizen like me. Yeah, I mean, this is, you saw the picture of this can in the Lost podcast, and yeah, I mean, it's quite impressive

until I suppose you look at the extent of how much more field there is to cover. But the sun now, above the trees, heading on its journey into the sky, my day is beginning. So there's an example, it's almost like this sort of frosty web on the ground. You think that's,

that looks like an interesting stone, but no, it's not, it's nothing. And I'm just going to go a little back across the path, as there's no one around, just to see if I can find a couple of bigger stones to add to my main pile. I find on this track, which sometimes I go along by accident, which isn't a real track, there are quite a lot.

It's, there's some tractor tires have come across here, and there are some good examples here. Again, I do not want to be seen by anyone, and it doesn't seem to be anyone around. But the sun's in my face, so it's actually, you know, that's a lot of this, that's the problem of light and the way you're viewing the ground

can be as big an issue as anything. So I mean, that is part of this. Oh, is this going to be a good one? Is it just going to be a flatty? It's fairly flat, but it's not too bad. And yes, as I thought, there are, I've seen these guys as I've been passing, and that's what we're talking about.

I saw them, I thought, oh, one day, that day, for some of them, today is that day. And they're all, again, as this podcast has been, they're all just pretty regular sized, good sized, but not massive ones, and a couple of small ones I'll take as well. And then let's head back before. We're scary, there's a big lump of wood there,

not interested, not interested. And it's got a dog poo by almost, oh, and this one, I feel like getting my trowel out for this one despite everything I said. That's not the poo, it's near the poo, so be careful of the poo, it's having a little bit of poo. Oh yes, this could be a good one.

Oh yes, that's the stone of the day. Oh, nearly fell on Wolfie. Be careful, there are things around animals that will do me. This is, I mean, it's in the state shape of a quotation mark, but a big chunky one. It's the size of the back end of a good sized skull with the old spinal cord coming down the back, if you will. That is a nice stone, I can be happy with the day,

just having found that one. Sorry to the purists, I did use a bit of trowel actually to get that out, but without a trowel, I'm not sure that one would ever have come out, it's that big, and that will go near the top and the middle of there, where that wall is getting a nice size,

it fits in very nicely there actually, and the others I'll just throw haphazardly. As they come around the corner down the field, this is very much a corner wall now, and I'm very pleased with it. I think it's probably reached the height that I want to be at the moment, to begin with I'll make the whole field

a wall of about two feet, maybe a meter high, and then if there are more stones then the wall becomes thicker and higher, but it's pretty thick there, that's the thing. Obviously a lot of stones just fall behind, stones roll down the walls that you've made, you have to decide whether you're going to go back

and pick those up. So I'm coming down now back to the start, back to my original can, and this is a place that, A, very covered in leaves, I am slightly concerned about when the snows start falling, they just kick one little tiny stone there by accident on the path,

and that isn't having kicked into touch. There's another one, bang, see, just always be working. If you venture a little further away from the edge of the field, there are a few stones down here, that you can see between the leaves, then you will see the odd, smallish stone,

again there, slightly flummoxed by some kind of frosty spider web. I know spiders have grown, what are you doing guys, put your webs up higher, A, flies are up here, and B, think about the stone clearers guys, come on. Bit of quid pro quo.

There's my dog, there she is, she's right behind me, she's a good girl. So, sorry about the cold, I'm sorry if it was a bit of a sniffling and snuffling during this podcast, but a stone clearer cannot stop clearing stones just because of the weather. Sorry, just because they're feeling,

well, the weather as well, but just because they're feeling ill, get out there, do it, podcast it if necessary. See, just like, you know, all the way I've walked down there, really seen nothing, there's a little clump of three tiny stones here,

and there's very few cairns down this way, the stones are too small, the ones I'm clearing are just tiny, coming up to this ditch, which is not a drainage ditch, someone was worried about it, it's just a ditch down the edge of the field created by the fences, a little bit further away

than it should be, and I'm just going to fill, over the years I'll just fill that up a bit, and even if it is drainage, these are stones that water will see through, I expect, I don't know really much about physics. Yeah, those three little stones I've picked up

in that whole walk down there, I mean, that's pretty pathetic, isn't it? As you get further down here, there are a few more, there's a bit more choice. But again, we're just talking about the pebbly sort of stones, one's a ping pong ball, one can be there,

that one looked good, but hey, look, I can be content with the number of stones I've taken off today, and also I think that that last fine, just as I was about to give up and go home, that one certainly will be something

to tell the kids about in a few years time, they won't understand now. I'm just digging out a few little stones here, and again, remember that mantra, if you've disturbed it, you have to take it, unless there are some ramblers

or other dog walkers coming up, in case you are allowed to dump them until another time, remember where you put them. I lost that whole bountiful lot that I was carrying when the ramblers disturbed me last week. Yeah, this is an interesting phenomenon, just like some dog poo that has become

something spun, something around it, or some creature is eating the dog poo, or something, I don't know what's going on, but it becomes this like candy floss, usually around a dog poo, so and it looks exciting and you think, oh, I wonder what that is, but do not touch those,

they are covered in dog poo. Just add those few tiny stones, again, remember, yeah, it feels bad when you have tiny stones, but they all need to be taken off, and they all add up, those five stones add up

to a reasonable size then, so I hope you've enjoyed the show, I hope you've enjoyed the theme music, that has now been added, and the voiceover from the mystery voiceover artist, I wonder if any of you can guess who it is. Do you keep listening to the podcast? Do

keep telling your friends about it, anyone you think might be just in stone clearing, or is already a stone clearing, again, I think as, yeah, it's all been pretty basic, as we move on over the weeks and years to come, the tips will become a little bit more expert,

as I become a bit more expert myself, I guess, but when I'm playing animal vegetable or mineral, I always choose mineral, again, except if people realize that, because then it's basically one of the 20 questions gone, is it, or does it not count

on the 20 questions, it's which has always been mineral, but it makes it easy because someone's telling me they can just say, well, I'll look up all the mineral things in their dictionary, and I'll be ready for rich, and it's always, it's always torn that stone off his field, so it's always that, that's what I do when I'm playing

20 questions, so hope you've enjoyed this, we'll be back next week with more, I hope this is recorded, I mean, if it hasn't, you're not listening to this bit, and yeah, enjoy your stone clearing, if you have any questions about stone clearing, please do email me, herringnight67

at gmail.com, they may feature in a future podcast, again, but if you know where I'm collecting stones, please keep it secret, I don't want lots of people tramping over my stones and stealing my stones, find your own field, don't try and find it, just enjoy this for what it is,

don't annoy the farmer by traipsing over his field, just one man can do that. All right, I love you all, I'm back home now, the dog's done a poo, and probably some weeds, I wasn't paying attention, because I was looking at the stones mainly, because she could have been up to anything,

might be pregnant, don't worry, she's been done. You all right, Wolfie, do you have a good walk? Thanks to Wolfie for accompanying me on this walk, and the man's just cycled by, he doesn't know he's on a podcast, but the slow turning wheels of his bicycle,

like the slow turning days of our lives, will be recorded and will echo through the ages of people in the future listening to this podcast and wonder, wonder what people of the 21st century were really like.

I'm hoping this is the only artifact that will survive from our civilization. Certainly I know that my stone wall will be the only artifact that survives for any great length of time beyond any digital recording medium. I meant to wrap up ages ago,

and back at the house to show people how my life went, find out what's going on, and I dropped the door. Wolfie! Good girl, we're going to go inside now, come here. Good girl. There's your enemy, the cat. What's your greatest enemy? What happened to you, Wolfie?

You have been listening to Stone Clearing with Richard Herring, and also featuring Wolfie, who did a poo during this podcast. I didn't know, so anyone who says I did is clean. Thank you very much to Mike Devin Cosgrave, who created this beautiful music you're listening to now.

Thank you to our mystery voiceover introductory person, do you know who it is yet? And thank you to Orange Mark and everyone at the British Comedy Guide. No stones were harmed during the creation of this podcast. Thanks for watching.