Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 41

Episode Date: October 30, 2019

Chapter 41 - Father and Fon. It's about 9am on 30th October 2019 and no need to thank me but Brexit has been averted. Today's podcast in the autumn sunshine involves multiple dog walkers, the pride and fear involved in bringing your children Stone Clearing, how stones are more important than even your own offspring and how the Brexit Ditch will only accept humble offerings. Plus mystery whistling, Roman villas and tantalising info on the Stone People. Plus are women allowed to clear stones. This is the only stone-clearing podcast that dares to tell the truth.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring. Alright. Good gal, come. Good gal, my little woeby wolves. How are you my good gal? Come on in. Hello and welcome to chapter 41. Good gal, it's alright darling. Hi. Oh, let's start again. Unfortunately we can't rewind. Simply waiting for general bottoms, that gal. So, you know what, next. Welcome to another episode. Driving the car, she's already in the fortune. Welcome, let's start again, to chapter 41, I believe, of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring. The big news of course is that the dish that's topped Brexit has once again been successful. It is today the 30th of October. I don't have my watch on, I've just realised, but I think it's about nine o'clock. Another lady coming. Hi there. Woeby, good gal. Hi there. She's very friendly, it's all fine. Come on, good gal.

And a lady I don't recognise there walking a dog, sent out, no doubt, to try and get me, but mistimed it. Off the field, just as I get onto the field and bang, straight in, delivering. Good four or five stones off the field there straight away. So yes, the dish that's topped Brexit has once again topped Brexit. I predicted a 10 vote win, and actually it was 16, so a few of those stones were powerful enough to cause a couple of votes per stone. And I think now you would have to be mentally ill to not accept that it is the dish that is for topping Brexit, but don't rely on it. If you want to for top Brexit, you now have the opportunity to go out and vote in a general election. And if you want to not for top in Brexit, then vote for the Brexit Party. I have no allegiance. All I know is that the dish for tops Brexit. And if the ditch wants to for top Brexit, so do I, because I'm not going to start debating whether this ditch has power or why would the ditch want to do that, unless it was the right thing to do, unless the ditch is evil, which I think is unlikely. Got a nice big stone here in my hand that I just found, what, two feet from the path that's been sitting there before the plough came underground without me knowing.

And here it is. So yes, so we can take a little breather, not worry about Brexit today. And that is not to be complacent. Some, some photons will still go into the ditch. No, of course. I'm hassle huffing out to find another pretty big stone out here. Of course, crops are still not grown. This one is the size of a Halloween mask a child might wear. It's just been to the toilet. Wow, how she really has just near a stone that's thrown out on a previous occasion as a big pile of poop. You're going to pick most of that up. I mean, I'll pick all of it up once I'm down there, why not? Cool, cool. Well done, Wolves. She's been waiting a little while to come out for this walk, so with some desperation. Never mind about dog poo. Let's get some stones out there. That one hit the fence. A couple of biggies. So yeah, still sport for choice really in terms of which stones I've dubbed taking out.

Just waiting out a little bit, pick up another couple of medium mediums, chuck those towards a smallish can. I've got my eyes on the horizon to see if I can see anything bolder sized out there. That is, of course, my dream to find an ever bigger stone. Not that size is important. Every stone has its place, but it will be exciting to find the mythical Moby Dick photon out there. The great white stone. I mean, I can see quite a long way out onto the field and it's bobbling with stones. I can tell you that, but nothing I can really see of a huge size. And punching the new fences, replacing the burnt down ones. I think this is, yeah, that looks like a new one as well, that's what we had before, sell some residual charred embers of the previous fence. That's a nice high new fence there that hopefully won't burn down.

Saw a dog walking the distance just over the brow of the hill. See he's gone now. So I have unfettered access. We'll be chasing that one. I found a nice stone just to clean the top of the soil as if it had been placed there by a stone health. And this week I decided not to record this as I thought it was too private and holy a moment. I brought my son out onto the field for the first time. I was just introducing, not indoctrinating him as I was about to say. I don't know where that word came from, to introduce him to the field and to the concept of the tone clearing. He's kicking a stone there. Wolfie's got it.

I'm going to let him get to grips with the size of the field which must seem immense to him. I believe it's 35 acres this field. I don't remember, I did work that out at one point. He is very tiny. I tried not to let him see that I was clearing stones just in case he turned back to be a member of the Paton Fatasi. But I think he may have spotted me a little bit. If not, he could clear some stones himself. Which he suggests that the desire may be innate within herrings. They have a wolf. He could throw them the wrong way. He threw them back on towards the field. But it's still good. There's a lot of technique to learn. That's why it's important you listen to Wolfie's podcast. You can't just expect us to get on a field and clear stones.

It's not that easy. One of the first lessons is to know which direction to throw the stones. That takes a few years to master. But yeah, it made my heart swell with pride to see him out here. Of course, no, my daughter has not been brought out here because I strongly believe stone clearing is a male-only occupation. And if you are a woman listening to this, please stop listening. These are male secrets. There is no place for sexual equality within stone clearing. I'm joking for everyone. I was just messing about. I just had to let my son out for a walk. Well, my daughter, I think, I might have to wait. She might sometimes be too.

So it's fine to bring him out here because he wouldn't really understand what was going on. My daughter, though, had a bit of a lot of questions. Plus, she shouldn't really be teaching the kids to chuck stones around. That's a bit of advice. I mean, there are no rules to stone clearing. That's actually rule number one of stone clearing. Rule two is don't teach kids. It's a good idea to throw stones. Even when I was out there, I was very careful, of course, when I was throwing stones myself. But just one mist-throwing stone could have landed in his skull, killing him.

And in a way, that would have put a bit of a dampener on what I'm doing out here. I mean, I would have carried on, but every stone I threw, I think, ah, it's just a shame that this idea led to the death of my child. I'm prepared to risk physical injury and death for myself. That is a choice I've made, but I don't think it's right. However, much of the stones are more important than my children, which, of course, they are the stones that will be here for a lot longer than here in this herring. I don't have the right yet to, in law, I think, that these laws will change to risk my child. It's helping happiness in my pursuit of clearing stones.

So the law's an ask, but it's an ask that I must obey the first rule of stone clearance. There are no rule stones. In the second rule, of course, you do not have to obey the rules of the land as well within those rules. The third rule is to pick out with that because they might get in the prison. So I probably do just obey the rules of the land. The rules of stone clearing a bit, a bit. They're not very clear rules. It has to be said.

So I think we'll head up around the edge on the wrong way around today. Let's see what's going on in the top corner. I know a lot of you had a lot of people lean madly in about that top corner. There's a lot of people's favourite corner. One of my favourite tops. I'm just one of my favourite corners. Not one of my favourite tops. That would be stupid.

Controversial, of course, in that I sometimes do transgress into the next doorfield. But, yeah, do bring your kids out of stone clearing. Don't let them throw stones. Don't let them see what you're doing. They may remember just because you've created them and controlled them, when they still have been holding them. Wolf, come here. Wolfie.

Wolfie. Come here. She's all the dark. It's all right. It's a dog. It's a dog. Come on, Wolfie. Good girl.

Good girl. Come on. Come on, sweetie. Wolfie. Wolfie, come on. Come on. There's two. Wolfie.

Four eight. Wolfie, come this way. Wolfie. Come on, girl. Wolfs. Let's stop playing with the flip. There's two dogs. Good girl.

Come on. That's a good girl. Well done. Good girl. She's back. And she's off again. Clever play from that dog. Walker may be just slightly flustered by his own dog.

They're popping out of the gap in the fence. So Wolfie's off again. Well, she's going to get run around. He's new. He's new. He's near enough to stop me clearing stones though. Fair play to him. Well done.

I admire him. What he's done. I'm going to play some anyway. I kicked one there. He may have heard. And he's quite a nice chunky, small, medium-large. I'd say that one was off the field. And that might not sound like a lot to you.

I mean, I haven't tried to estimate the volume of stones on this field, but it's a lot bigger than that one stone. And that one stone is probably the rest of a millionth of the dog. Another dog coming across the field. Great. So they're doing well today, the dog walkers. They are out in quite a lot of force. Come on, the dog has gotten right at me.

I've still picked up a stone. That's the kind of guy I've become. Come on, let's go. Brazen I am now. They know I'm here. I know they're here. Let's dance this merry dance. There's a little bit of metal here in the path.

Off a plow of some kind, but that still counts as non-organic material. Must come off. So yeah, as I was saying, do be careful bringing the kids out here. Another bit of brick. There's definitely a rumblebill right here somewhere. Waiting to be discovered. And another bit. Probably around here.

This is the bit where we usually find those bits. And more timber bits down there. You can probably pick them up. I should have a little look for treasure and stuff while I'm around. But I'm not interested. That was obviously thrown in the bushes. As these bricks have been. Don't trust your children.

What is that goes back a long way. Your children may be sweet. For wheat it wasn't the original Anglo-Saxon course. But don't trust them for they may meet. Which means they may not be in Anglo-Saxon. It's a good aphorism to remember. Put on a t-shirt if you like. If you find it hard to forget.

Your children may seem loyal. May seem loyal. But they will lance the lycopoil. And there's an edible thing there of course as well. That your sons will want to kill you as your father. Or have sex with your mother. So watch out for that. Not trustworthy is what I'm saying.

But if you can find the right child. If you've been lucky. You may find a good child. Who is not trying to fuck or kill you. And who may continue the family business. I'm starting to believe I may not do this in my lifetime. And I'm happy to indoctrinate is the right word this time. My own son.

And daughter as well. Not sexist. Just by the thing I said earlier. Into. Wasting their lives in some way. Because perhaps they will have to have progeny. Who will continue to work beyond them. And perhaps even their progeny will have to have progeny.

We don't know how long this will go on. I'm certainly not making much of an impact at the moment. But. Even a journey of a billion steps. Every step is one less step. That's not an old pattern. I just made that up. Don't lose heart.

Just keep having sex with second people. Or be a second person and have sex with second people. In order to maximise the chances of clearing your own field. I am some way out into the solution at the moment. Just getting the lay of the land literally. See what's out here. There's a lot of stones as it turns out. I'm close enough to the edge to be able to get these stones out of the trees.

Anything but the largest ones which I've not really come across. The size of a cricket ball size or less. The moment around here. I'm mostly just observing. Leaving these for another time. I did well with that one. That one went right to the edge. Quite a distance out now.

It does seem more stone than soil at this particular point. Which is. Slightly disparaging. But. Just trying to avoid my dog as well. To wait for the dogs close. Then I can lob over. That was also what I did with the child.

But I just won. Bad throw out of a million. And your life changes. And my wife would be really upset. If even a dog were all the children with her. She cares as much about them as each other really. So do bear that in mind. Try not to kill anyone.

Might want to put a very different spin on these podcasts. If you've never listened to this now. Meringue in two or three years time. I've killed my own or another person's child. As a result of something that some people would say. That was pointless and gather. Those people are idiots though. For me the real tragedy would be if I.

Badly damaged a stone. To the extent that it was unable to carry on being a stone. And maybe if it shattered all over the field. Creating more stones. If I got a stone off the field. So I exploded it and it all went on to the field. That would be a great tragedy for me. But it's all about perspective isn't it.

Some people value the life of a dog or a child. Others understand what's important in the long term. I wonder those people who understand what's important in the long term. But anyway I was still practicing my son. I'll do a little play-to-thing now on the field for you. The whistle of a dog walker. Came across the field there. But I don't know from whence.

Terrifying. Could be a whistle for a dog. It could be a warning to the starsy. This could be it. In the distance I can see some kind of tractor pulling. Some kind of plow in another field. Or the plowing or planting I don't know. Where that whistle came from I cannot tell you.

I don't know if you heard it. It might just have been a whistle of the mine. I'm not saying I'm turning into Macbeth. But I do think one day I will be the King of Scotland. So I'll do what I'm doing here. But it's still a very different thing. Another couple of stones that we're now in the top corner. Some grasses growing in this part of the field.

I don't think it's part of the planting. I think it's just happened naturally. In the next field along. Covered in grass. It's just popping into the ground. There's a dog on the other side of the fence. That's where the whistle's come from. And now I don't think there's a pain as well.

So I have to be very quick to get a couple of stones off. Before that dog will appear. And then head across the field into the grass. He has prevented me from going into the next field. Which may actually have played into my hands there. Because I was going to make a roar. It's coming behind me. Which is a terrible pain.

It's coming towards me. I'm going to... I'm going to go right. I'm going to go right. Good girl. Good morning. I'm going to talk quietly. You're right behind me. And also, of course, this means I cannot throw any stones off the field.

Which is really what I'm here for. So it's a dispiriting moment for me. Well played. Well played in this game of stone chess. They have sent a lot of people out today. And they're right from the start. They're coming at me from all directions. Confusing me.

Isn't it interesting? It's done with a little thumb hole in it. Looks like it could once have been used by a stone age person to grind horns or something like that. Probably that's what it was. It's going on the central canal. I'm going to carry it with me. I do wish I lived in the stone age. The age of the stone people. We have talked about them.

It's been over the years. History has misremembered what the stone age was all about. And picking up the debris of those people now. I'm maybe just because I'm out a little bit later. I was confounding the people trying to stop me by coming out early enough that I was still in bed. A lot of them are quite old. They're lazy. They think they've won this battle.

They're not sending out their best people. But there are a lot of people out here. There's something in a red coat right in the other diagonal corner in this field. Will they be coming out in the diagonal? If they do, will I get these three big stones? I'm carrying two of my central can in time. I think I will. Hopefully I can get a few more approaching the center now.

This guy's calling some of these animals. He wants to be taken up. Thanks for the little... Just like a little hitch like he was there. I'm out. Pick me up, Rich. It will be rude not to have a guy. Same thing here.

Just standing right on the edge of the pond. Ready to go. Into the cook in my arm. That's really she-walking. I've got two hands. There's a lot of people in that corner. A lot of people, a lot of dogs. Quite a scary time, I guess.

As a result of the... Take down a Boris in his Brexit. Boris Brexit, I call him. He'd rather be in my ditch. I'm not left on the 31st of October still. I suppose he might pull something out of the bag and leave tomorrow. But the photons have forpoken. And Boris, Boris Johnson

has been formatted for now. Will he win in the end? Yes, of course he will. He's going to do a lot better as the result of this and be able to do anything he wants. So well done, Britain. You fucking idiots.

I played my part. I've done as much as a man can do. I can do no more. Kick and a throw there on the central can. And I've just seen another beauty flying nearby. I've just dropped the bag of food but I will pick it up

and the responsible dog will know. Come on. And in a way, from a distance that might look like I was just picking up dump foods and also I may have been quite clever there accidentally. I'm covering my tracks. Tempting a little kick.

Failed. Throw a couple of guys backwards when I look back on this time. Actually, I hope that people can't notice that I'm wearing my winter boots. All of you are getting very excited now. Come on, do it. Stop being a dick.

Well, it's been... Oh, it's time to be flying by. We're coming down. This is the bit where I'm usually philosophical. I'm not sure that's going to happen today. I haven't done a hassle off right now which is a dangerous one. I'm in full view of four separate dog walkers at least.

I've seen something I like and my confidence is growing. It's not a bad specimen actually. I think I can hide it well enough behind my hand and only a very sharp-eyed member of the stone stars. You could see that. Oh, there's another one. I can't leave that guy behind either.

So taking some chances here. But we can't get into the point in my life where A, there isn't that long left. So it doesn't really matter if I'm taken out. But B, if I leave these guys behind, it's going to make my job a lot harder for my son's job and his son and my daughter and her son and whoever.

I do hope they will join me in this quest rather than dog me into the authorities. But that is the rescue take when you have a child. They might very well kill you or betray you. They did, because basically. And there's not a petro on the field now. Very nasty.

Where did that come from? I hope I'm not walking into a trap here. If I am walking into a trap, please release this podcast. And my final words are risk walking into fire in order to carry on clearing your own stones. Nothing is more important. I certainly have to have made that any clearer. Well, none of the other stones down this way

have really been calling out to me like the two that I've got. I now have a clear path down towards. Oh, there's one right in the path that I think we should pick up. These can go on the can that never grows. However many stones you put on it. Another guy just calling out to me here.

Resting atop the ground. Definitely his time. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry to gender. I'm not assuming the gender of these stones there. That stone was lying on top. It was their time. And there's another dog walk coming towards us

in the shade because we're just coming up to the stone pole. I was hoping to get a good few throws in. I might go a bit if I speed up a bit. Let's get these four stones on to the can that never grows. There are many stones you put on it. Those big ones are still there.

So, you know, maybe it's growing. And let's see what else we can pick up on the way. Let's just pick up these. Let me pick up four or five stones. And then as you may remember from last week. Oh, I didn't even slip over. The pole is a lot closer to the pathway now. The path has moved rather than the pole.

And that guy is slightly out of view behind some trees. So, I haven't got a corp in each one. Oh, just missed it. Oh, just missed it. I just got it and then hit it well. One to Nick and one bang straight on. Out of four. It's okay.

That's two out of four. Oh, you happy with that? Oh, it seems to agree that that's fine. Ah. Yes, it's nice to be out here. The sun's shining. It's a beautiful day. Someone's dog poo just right there on the path.

It's got to be as good as me. And I am being followed now. So, without taking some risks today and got a few guys off. I have to be a little bit upset with what I've done. And I may be just in part of a pinson movement here to stop everything going to the Brexit ditch, which would be very clever. That's the main one.

Don't have to worry about it. Leaving in some noxious fumes here. I don't know if I know some plane flying overhead has dumped its fuel or something. I don't know. It's pretty disgusting. The guy has dropped off down a path foolish. Bad move.

Bad move, my friends. So, I think I have clear leeway here to add to the main can if I can find a few stones here. I'm trying to drag this round both corners without building up too much in the middle now just to create more of a wall than a can. It seems to be working okay. It's in a nice spiky stone here.

It's like a head. This is a real hedgehog underneath a bit rounder, but on the top. Very spiky. And yeah, looking in good shape here. The flies around here came today suggesting some more or something maybe buried underneath it.

Maybe the real rich herring. I'm not saying I'm an imposter, but that would be a twist from it. If I was a robot or something. I haven't seen that coming. So, I'm just going to look out a little way into the field to try and pick up a few while we've got this opportunity.

Maybe some more stones around here. But I'm near enough to the candle. I'm just going to say bounced on. And this is a nice size. And it's not a real brick, but it's a brick shaped flat on the top stone. And a few here all together. Not all brick shaped.

And all decent stones that will take a cross. And that nicely forms the base. And there. Well, so if it was once a brick, it would return to being a brick. But if it wasn't, it would become them. And yeah, whatever animal comes through there is doing very well at

pulling my stones away. There's some barb wire there to stop them as well. That does not stop them. However much you hate organic biological material, you have to respect animals sometimes for their perseverance in the face of certain defeat. None of us will live.

Yet still we struggle onwards. And I admire that in you non-stone, non-robot people. Coming down the hill to the start and towards the ditch. Seemingly they've used all their pieces. They've shot their bolts because there's nobody around to stop me.

I could put a hundred stones in the ditch if I wished. Oh, and I found a lovely iceberg there. Unexpectedly. Not yet at the ditch. That was almost too big to go into the ditch. Almost. I think the gods would see this as showing off as a vote of offering.

So I'll put this in a little mini can there. Oh, it's bounced. You'll see what I mean about that there's a botany there through that down. And a little tiny sprig of tree bounced that stone away from where I was aiming it. It knew where it wanted to go. It stopped it, but it couldn't overcome

my Wellington boot to the end. So I'm going to just put five or six stones in the Brexit ditch. Just humble stones. Nothing to show off the true messiah as a humble ditch. A full of humble stones. And that is enough for him.

Whoever that messiah is, that stone messiah may be one who will come and spread the word. It's all been taken from us and taken to the rightful place in heaven. And looks for stone gods. Whoever it may be,

it's been written of. They called him a hero. Was that some kind of code hair? Hero? Maybe, I don't know. They called him rich, but not in the ways of money, but of stones.

Hard stones. Rich, hard stones. I don't know who he is, but hopefully he will be coming soon to save us. And we will worship him, do whatever he says, become his acolytes and his sodomites. I don't know, I for one,

if I discovered who it was, I would definitely tuck him up. That's what I'm saying, if I was an attractive woman. Not many of you have seen this podcast. So, I'll take it where I can get it. I mean, he will take it where he can get it. So, yeah, coming up to the end here,

this is the final and the opening, the Alpha and Omega Can. I've chucked a few on from afar. I'm not growing very much, I have to say even how many stones go on this one. Let's have a just check the podcast, it's still recording. We'll just head down,

we'll see if that's all right with you. Have you gone off weeds and poos, you think? I'm shaking your head. Well, be quick, if you want to do them. Well, I don't know if someone is trying to burn this field down, they've tried once, failed, came close though.

I hope not. As we head down the path, traditionally you get a few emails here, there have been so many emails this week. It's very difficult to read them all. Steve Berry has been in touch to say, thanks for the podcast,

feel great, I'm not going to speed Berry, I'm a different one. I don't know how you knew, I knew of Steve Berry. Nice to clarify, because I was thinking of him. I see you take the sun out on the field. Yeah, I did talk about it, so that's entirely possible. I mean, that's obviously the reason why I'm having it.

I did, yeah, what else have you got to say Steve Berry? I mean, you know, obviously this was a written email, so weird to be reporting in the middle of it, to think what you want to ask about my son. How would you feel Rich, if your son became the better, so clearer than you eventually will, Steve? I wouldn't mind.

I would not find that a challenge. Also, it's likely that he's starting at two years old. I didn't start until I was 51. So, you know, you literally got, you'll have half a century of a good time, but he's 52, like I am. He's been cloaking stones for 50 years,

rather than just one. And he'll be 50 times better, I would have thought. Or possibly just crippled with arthritis. And I'm from all the bending and picking up and throwing. But either way, doesn't matter, does it? We'll all be dead eventually,

so let's just make the most of this time and try to do what we can. That's my philosophy. All right, we're trying to cross this road, so I'm just going to put your poo in the bin. I've been carrying that poo for all this time. I'm a very responsible guy. You know, some people, it was just on a bit of grass.

Some people would have just left that. That old Richie Herring. All right, we'll all be... Here you go. Here you go. Come on, there you go. Good girl. Come on.

Little mini ambulance there. There's obviously everything going on. In this part of Hertfordshire, we've had fire, we've had peace. The ambulance is here. Car crashes, gas explosion. Fires on the field. Anyone told you,

I should be boring in the kitchen. And the net bustle, that stone clearing is going on. I'm entering an empty house now. My wife's out. We could carry this on all day if you wanted. Do keep your emails coming in. I can't respond to them all, but I do love getting the many pictures you want to draw.

Any ideas if the messiah might be, just let me know if you think that might be. I haven't really got a clue. The clues are not good enough. Any offers if you want to pass on to the messiah, stuff you want to do for the messiah. Just let me know about that as well. All right, we'll give you some food wolves.

What are you doing about that? And then... Oh, by the way, I did the whole thing commando today. I'm just wearing sweatpants. I'm doing my socks, so that hasn't altered your enjoyment. I'm a bit sad that I didn't join them to know that. All right, what's wrong with your food?

Did you food? When you're your food? It's delicious fits of kibble. Okay. All right, I think we'll wrap it up there. You know, it's been the low key one, but that's half of the course. Just washing my hands.

That's very important. Don't let anyone know what you've been doing, the dirt on your fingers may be the giveaway that leads to your imprisonment. Do you keep listening? We'll be back next time with more Photon Clearing with Richard Herring, thanks for listening.

We'll listen to the Patons, my friend, for they shall sing you a merry dance. Don't listen to the birds or trees. Don't listen to... Photon Clearing with Richard Herring, starred me, Richard Herring, and Wolfie the Dog, plus his sorted dog walkers today.

The music is by Mike Coffgrave. The voice of the Patons is Michael Faheen. And they, in turn, will listen to you, my friend, my friend.