Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 44

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

Chapter 44 - Am I Right, Ammonite? It's about 8.20am on the 26th November 2019 and Rich is going the long way round. With some hard earned wisdom about how weather works and some fine Hasselhoffing and a largely undisturbed run from dog walkers and log dogs, he gives us the chance to reconnect with the stones and the sound of boots squelching in mud as he destroys potential archaeology and casts aside the sea creatures of eons ago. Plus is there a wood clearer attempting to taunt him and who shall win the battle of wood, stone and flesh? Plus a joke.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Come on little gal. Good gal, we're close. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Alright, quick quick. Alright, hello, welcome to another chapter. This is bit 44. I don't know. It's 8.24, a bit of a late one, on the 26th of November 2019, and we're out. On a durisly morning, the leaves have been falling, my friend, for the autumn she is here, and it's not a very nice day. I've come out without gloves, without a trowel. We'll see whether I regret that. I think the ground should be very soft, but there will be some dirt.

And now I've been stone clearing for doing this podcast for over a year, but some people seem impressed. A bit of the people seem sort of flabbergasted, I guess, from just how impressed they are with what I'm doing. But I'm reminded of the medieval rhyme, or poem, as it would have been called back then, and the man doth say, sorry, the man doth say, I have been alive for one whole year, the stone, the stone, the heath, the chuckle, and say it, the heath, nothing. The man doth say, say, I have been alive for 18 years, just for tone, just laugh, for the stone, that is not a very long time, you get it just a bit. I have been here for countless aons, and have not even moved,

doth the tone, doth say, the man, the he, do not understand, found, and so on. I'm doing it from memory, come on, it's not bad. So I've already cleared about six stones while that's been going on, just picking up out of the wet ground, as predicted, just a bit climbing down here, but I'm doing crazy digging at some soil. Not nice conditions, but it won't be, you know, increasingly over as the winter comes, the weather gets worse. You will get some insights into, like that, if you keep listening to the compost. That's one of the things I've noticed from doing this for so long, just this tends to be hotter in the summer months, and then as winter approaches, it's

the weather gets less enjoyable. It's just some of the wisdom you pick up along the way. So looking out there across the field, I think it might have been plowed again, because there's no, it's all soil now, whereas when there was some sort of bits of grass and stuff growing up, and I'm looking at an expanse, it's like a moon, surface of a moon, craters, there are no crates, but they're just like strewn with moon rocks, the area rocks, but it's the same sort of stuff. There's a lot of stuff out here. I've stepped maybe 20 feet out into the photosion, and coming back with a couple of hands full of certainly medium category rocks.

What's going on too? One of them are smaller cans, but it's still growing, and it grew by five photons there. The scale of my work is certainly laid out to me there when there is nothing, no vegetation out here at all, a bit of skies, it's just how extremely stony this land is. I might have to get a picture for the podcast. So my hands are dirty now, so you know that's not good for my phone. The original stone clothes, of course, didn't have to worry about this kind of thing.

And that, I don't know if that even really captures it, but I'll take those pictures and hope they do. So check if you're still rolling, yeah, but a dirty phone, not in a good way. So it's actually been a couple of weeks since you've joined me out here anyway. Things have been a little busy. If you're into sport, I should mention that, I know this is a very different thing, but it got across promo with me, one versus me, too, Snoopy podcast, which was doing a live podcast on the 4th of December at the Cockpit Theatre in London. So if you'd like to see that live, it's an amazing event. I incredibly, neither of the me's have been nominated for sports

personality of the year, which I think shows how sewn up the sporting world is. But that does not matter to them, they are not all, there's a beauty. Look at the size of that wolf's. Fuck me, even Wolfie understands that that is something special. Biggest stone of the day, and it's our new Ken, just there with those four pretty nice sized stones I picked up. So here comes the Cockpit Theatre, go to richhoney.com or slash gigs. If you're interested in seeing me play snooker or talking to celebrities, it's not the work I'm proud of stuff, obviously. It's much more sort of mainstream stuff that I'm doing here, but we have to make compromises in order to keep the things we love going at times.

There is no dog walkers around, I'm surprised because I'm out a bit later today, because I thought I might have to play a bit more surreptitiously than I am do. Those two stones go down to the new fence that's made a fair little bump there, just kicked a nice round stone. There's been built since the fire, you can still see the remnants of the old burnt down fence in front of it. I hope that will always be there to remind us of that incredible day. There's a big one there, it's already off the field, that's much better than the one I got. I think I got that in a recent podcast, it does look good. It's sitting there.

Kick the stone off the path, that is all part of the job. I'm hassle hoffing, well I'm looking out the hassle hoff, I'm doing this shoreline hassle hoff at the moment, looking at the fairly stones in the aggressive. One has caught my attention, I'm heading out, there's nobody around, it's not a big one, but it's just much paler than the others, that is good out. When I pick it and the guy next to it up, they said they were ready, they're coming on the way back. Quite a nice medium chunk there as well. Come off. I mean these are the glory days of stone clearing. This is when it's easy, the stones are visible around the aroused relative to pluck. These are actual berries of stone from its enveloping flesh.

The folds, you have to dig your fingers in and then the rewards are many. I know it's going to get tougher than this. The important thing is to remember to enjoy this time, not to think I will look at the scale of the work that's still to be done, but to think, wow, look at the riches that they're here, just lying waiting for me. Without me really coming to that. I'm going to put my hands and arms on the stones, more importantly that's what I really have finished, but just gathering a few choice morsels to go on the can in the lower corner here that we all know and love.

Doesn't matter to me, it's still made of stone. There is no time for sentimentality of thinking when the stone was something biological. It looks like a big tree into the can, a big branch rather. I think it's just an accident, maybe there's some kind of warning to me from the wood. There I have some kind competing with me. I'm travelling up the hill now. A little bit of vegetation down here making the job a little harder, but I found a bit of a nice specimen in there. They've got flung into the base of one of the trees that wind the field here.

It's a little bird, not so long since my breakfast. Sending a little fool, or if you're doing a wee if you're interested, may have missed some other weeds. I'm not going to pee yet as far as I know. The people here are using this as a dog pee, but I still have a few. And yet sometimes it's just nice to have the silent squelch of a Wellington boot walking up the muddy path in the field, isn't it? Sometimes there's no nicer sound than that. We don't want to squirre that we're talking over the top, we just let people listen. Don't ruin it for people. Let them just take in the sounds, the smells. I mean,

lots and lots of smells to be fair. And there's a lot of stones along this part of the field. This is something you have to watch out for that have adapted and evolved to save themselves from being thrown off it by becoming the same colour as the sort of makes your job a little harder. But if you're sharp-eyed, you just could keep eyes open and you will spot them. That one is not, in the case of some people, like almost blue coloured. That was easy to find. I think we might do the long walk today. I really have nothing to say, but I think that will make a more entertaining podcast. If I make it as long as possible,

we'll see what comes up. Well, there's a nice one. We'll be chasing that one into the bracken. What are brambles, rather? The stone is dark and black. There's ebony, might be ebony. Don't really know what ebony is. It's now off the field. Don't you worry about that. Some leaves on here causing a bit of confusion, looking a bit like stones. They're not being stones. And this part of the field has definitely not been replowed. So maybe I was dreaming when I thought that that one looks like a leaf, but it's a stone. I can go on my cane across the way from the main cane.

There's another stick sticking up out of that one again, which makes me think that's not a coincidence, is it? That is someone trying to intimidate me through the medium of wood, but I will not be intimidated. Right, let's go and see what's going on. It's been a little while, I think, since we've been up this way. So let's go and see what's going on in the top corner of the field. Over where the forbidden garden and other man's stones. Oh, there's a lovely big stone just sitting in the, just loosened in the path that I've picked up. It feels like it deserves to get somewhat special, but I put it with a friend off the scrunchy path, came up nicely. And you will in a couple of months,

maybe less than that to be fair, be remembering these days when stones would just pop out of the ground like whack-a-mole's jumping up towards the new. They're so loose, they're almost levitating above the ground, that has to be said. It's so easy, but in a week, maybe a month, this ground will be hard, it will be much colder than this. So do make hay, stones, while the sun, rain, shines, falls, those are your options. And I am doing, I hope you're enjoying the sound of quite heavy stones falling into the bushes, going quite randomly. That one hit another stone, there are some stones out here. This wall is being slowly and methodically built as the months pass.

I think I'm slightly sick today, I don't have eaten a bit too much breakfast or something, I don't know. Hopefully that sickness will not come out in vomit. If you do have to vomit during a stone clear, which was, I've got to walk down the path there, they won't hear me. That would be quiet. Then try to do that off the field, of course. It doesn't matter, it will be organic material, but it's just disrespectful to the stones. If you have any kind of bodily fluid you want to expunge from your body, please have the decency to do that in the side of the field, not on the field itself, except in extreme emergencies. I have smilked probably every bodily fluid possible at some place around the edge of this field.

Let me have a break again in this part of the field. I just wonder what used to be here. And if I do find a Roman villa here, which I feel is likely at some point, then it's going to take a long time to get all those bits of mosaic out and off the ground. There must have been something here before. I'm not interested, I mean I'm sounding interested, I'm not. That's a different kind of brickwork, different colour, but definitely brickwork. This area there has been a lot of Roman villas, baths, there may have been one here at one point. It's a good place for one. My travels, it's all right, she wasn't having any.

And a very big stone again, just in the pathway. It reminds you, I'm done through it very, a few inches off the field in the end, but it's off the field. Halfway still counts, can still get dragged up in the next plow, trying to get the stone just as nearly as possible. That's one of my main pieces of stone cleaning advice. There are no rules to stone cleaning, in fact rule one of stone cleaning is the high rule of stone cleaning, the second rule of stone cleaning is try and get those stones away from the field. I mean it's such an obvious rule, it shouldn't really be in the rules, that's what the job is, but sometimes you need to state things fairly for people,

it's like serving suggestions and ways to open cans. Sometimes using shampoo, sometimes you need to just make it obvious, just I guess for the first person, if it's the first go. I would have thought just the name stone clearing was that rule in itself, but what if you start clearing the stones, pushing them further into the field, they'll actually be doing the opposite of what is required in the old field, they're clearing stones. But so they'll be actually making the problem worse. My problem you'll get from me, my son did that the other day when he was out here, he was trying to push a case in point project, that's the instinct, throw inwards, that's why

we need that rule. It's really quiet again for dog walkers, oh look at this, I found something good here, let's get this one, I think not quite as big as the earlier one, but what's your opinion Wolfie's looking, not saying anything for the moment, that's what I like about Wolfie, she weighs up each question and just jump in there with an answer, she thinks hard about it. This part of the field quite covered in tiny leaves, this is the downside of that, being biological material in fields, it does get in the way of an ideal world, oh I see a dog walking distance, that's the relief, I haven't given up on me. In ideal world there would be no fauna or flora, no humans at all will make this job

so much easier, we wouldn't have most of the year with this field covered in some kind of crop. But we have to live in the real world and that is very much where this podcast is. I'm hassle-offing it even though there's a dog walker who could just turn and see what I'm doing, because I spotted a couple of nice stones from a distance, I think you want to come before that one much flatter than I thought it was, it looked like just the way it angled, it looked like a plate, I thought it was going to be a boulder, but it's just like the surface of a plate angle to look like a much bigger stone, it doesn't matter, it's coming off the field, that's not a way to say it's off yet, just in case we don't know what's going to happen in the next

few seconds. On my charge back across they'll found more big pieces of flint, and they're, well I won't say they're off the field yet because they're not, they're now pretty much off the field, they're now off the field and they're now thrown into the way, into the edge, far away from the field, they will never be back on the field, it could take a billion eons, and they will still be lying where I've put them, in the beauty of stone clearing. I might have overstretched this podcast to a longer length than I have stuff to say, I thought you know two weeks off, I knew a lot of new revelations would have come to me,

but you know you've done this 44 times, you start to realise you've said quite a lot of the things, but new things come up all the time, so you know, don't lose heart if you're doing your own stone clearing podcast, I know there are a few out there, don't think or no one's listening, it's an over saturated market anyway, you keep pushing away, that's what I'm going to do, it can sometimes take a stone clearing podcast 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years to really make an impact, but if you don't put that time in, then though you can't make that impact, that's the thing, if you do know years, then you won't get any lessons, that's just maths. So I've approached the top of the field, feeling a bit nauseous still,

I did a burp there but luckily no sick came up because it had it, it would have fallen on the field, oh I can see a dog walking behind me now, I seem to be defeating the dog, walkers in this game of chess that we invariably play, coming up to the long dog corner, this is where I first saw a long dog and he has returned, last time I came up here I saw him again, watching me biding his time, the war, the twix wood and the stone, it seems is just as violent and scary as the one between flesh and stone, flesh and wood, not really, that bothered about each other, back in the medieval times there was a bit of aggro, arrows and you know good cudgels and like that thing that little John used to hit,

Robin had it into the water, that's probably made of wood, staffs is that what they're called, lances were made of wood, but now wood and flesh aside from the odd splinters, have an uneasy alliance, not really if they're combined against the stones, I mean yeah, wouldn't be much use stone and wood can't really do much to hurt stone, maybe one day though, maybe one day, if it came to it obviously I'm not bothered about wood, it's not worth my time, it'll just rot away anyway, as will I, but not if I replace my body and bones and blood categories with stones which I'm still working on, transgressed across into the next doorfield, just have a look and see

what wonders there are out here, no donks or a big bit of metal there, I'm not going to touch that, well maybe I will, it's quite impressive, what is that, oh it's like a massive bit of part of a plow or something and I found a big white stone I'm happy with, I'll take these off, look at that, so heavy that bit of metal, so much heavier than stone and we haven't got into the wall between metal and stone, which is quite a big hole, dropped the metal, like I didn't work out what it would have been, definitely a man-made piece of metal there, carefully forged, I'll put it on the, got a couple of nice stones off there as well, they've gone in the border wall,

all of that stuff though, no harm, no foul, as far as I'm concerned, heading across the field, yes stone and metal of course, I mean metal one, that fight in human terms, but I think, oh it's a good one too, looks like that, I'm going to throw that, oh I've got a good throw Rich, good throw, that was heavy, again a good work out here today, yes the metal defeated stone in certainly the ages, I think they were used by man, but stone metal will rust and stone will not, that one didn't quite get off the field but it's well in the way, a future encounter will either get that baby off, my hands are thick with mud and out of breath, quite unfit at the moment, going to do something about that,

not doing enough stone clearing clearly, but we're heading across the diagonal to the central cairn, now somebody will say Rich, you said the stones have to go to the edge of the field yet, here you are walking towards the cairn in the middle, where you will put stones and pile them up in the middle of the field, you're a hypocrite, well no, I'm not, that's the end of that argument, so it's different, that's why still a good couple hundred yards from from the central cairn, but picking up, I've just picked up a little small large medium maybe, now here's another one similar size, similar, they could almost be twin brothers those two in fact, and they're pressed together like lovers,

but unlikely to procreate unless they actually smash again together and create new smaller stones, that's just how rocks breed, we don't hear that from the lads or kids this thing, I'll have to go into that just now, oh there's a good good lot of decent sized stones in this the layer, they're still a good hundred hundred fifty meters away, about hundred meters, maybe always from the central cairn, some crows have gathered in the field, harbingers of doom, question mark, or just eating some worms, we will never know in the distance, in the fact that there's a dog walk, I don't think he's going to take the diagonal, if he does I will certainly get the central cairn before him, he's going fast, I think it's the same guy I saw before, good sightlines

from here though, this is one of the best places in the field to be in terms of just have to remember behind you, but no disappointing lack of interactions which I know many of you enjoy, but it means that I don't have to put on that facade pretend that I'm friendly to the people here, they're not my friends, they never will be, even if they join me in my battle to take these stones off, I feel like I never quite trust them, not like I trust the stones, stones have never let me down, I've probably passed like a million stones without picking any up within you know 20 or 30 meter radius of myself, but I'm not a new rush, keep it calm, keep it happy,

and you know they're all little ones, well don't really, as I'm walking across I'm not going to bother myself quite yet with ones that small just because it would be a lot of stopping starting, just keep deciding the path towards the can, I might get that baby right up there with her second kick, watch out Wolves, now I'll wolf you down the way, that was a gentle kick, oh kiss, the kiss of the boot, watch out, there we go, yeah that's a nice sound doesn't it, I thought you heard that, oh what's that there, there's a proper brick, more concrete, a bit more modern, a bit more machine made brick there, but that can come off, we'll put that in the still counts,

yeah we'll just spend a little minute chucking some of these bigger stones around the central can a bit closer to the central can, and we'll get on our way, looking bad the central can, now the crops have been cut back, you can see it all quite clearly, by the nick of the tree around the central can there where I threw that one, which gives me delight, I hope the whoever's interested in the stones will see that nick and realise what's happened, feel a bit bad about themselves, right well on we go, down the hill, this is usually when I start philosophising, let's see if that happens, I can't, I'm not performing monkey for you, platonic monkey, I'm a human being, I'm not an Aristotelian monkey, when I say platonic monkey

it sounds like we're not having sex with each other, we're not doing that either, and I'm not a monkey, I'm a human being, and I'm on the planet of the stones anyway, we're on some way from the central can now, let's see how close we can get this baby, discuss that, it's not bad actually, close, probably distance wise okay, just went a bit off to the side, but we'll get that next time, or another time, there's no rush, unless I die, sooner than expected, which might happen, well it does happen, lost a friend this last couple of weeks, same age as myself, don't think he cleared any stones so

his life was fairly meaningless, but it does make you think, I'm thinking oh yeah I've got 30 years of this this will be fine, good 30 years of stone clearing, not thinking of the decrepitude of age, the danger of my own body trying to destroy me, and that's all, that possibly is why we get ill, our bodies realizing we might help the stones that ultimately it's better off than we're not here, I don't know, I don't understand why we just can't live forever like the stones, I envy them, but the question is I suppose would you be fed if eternity, eternal life, the price of that was that you had to lie in a field for hundreds of thousands of years, get caught up by clouds, get picked up by short fat men, take them somewhere

where you might or might not want to go, might or might not, don't we don't know doing, can't ask the stones, do you want to go to the edge stones, they don't say, they don't speak to you directly anyway, not what can be picked up on the microphone, that looks primitive human technology, got a couple of nice stones to go down to the can that never grows, and maybe pick up some more as we go, you have to remember while we're here the stones must be cleared, that's again where it probably goes back further than Anglo-Saxon that one, someone was emailing me about Native Americans or North American stone clearing can, not interested

we only, I'm only interested in British stones, probably only English stones if I'm honest, I was brutally honest, it's ironic that my work is preventing Brexit, because certainly in stone terms I would like it, I don't want any foreign stones coming over here, flying in our fields and it just would make it my job harder, that's the only reason there's enough stones here, we've got enough, England is full of stones, well the can that never grows looks a bit bigger actually, so that's good news, might think of a new name for that, we're approaching the stone pole, and I have something taped to it by the turn, just looking for a distance, just going to find a few stones to throw in it,

that's a few nice little stones, good size little stones here that are good for throwing, I might have to look at what the piece of paper is, I'll do this throwing first, there's one, or just missed, went off the field of play, it's bad, just missed, went and hit the post next bit went off the field of play, other side, third one's a charm, my third one hits dead center, fourth one hits dead center, leads a mark, let's have a look at what this piece of paper is, no explanation, it's just the bit of wrappings come off it, anyway two out of four, 50% success rate for the may pole there, stone pole, the November pole, as I currently call it, not for long though, the days are ticking by,

so gather stones whilst they may, we do not know when the stone gods will choose to take us to the great fields in the sky, it's good to get practicing down here on earth because you're going to be pluming stones for the rest of eternity, if my understanding we have to like this to be believed which it is, I'm looking forward to it mate, I'm looking forward to it, why for one welcome our stone god overlords, dog poo there, this is the proofing of that, very close to the path, not picked up, mind you, what have you, where have you, where's your poos, have you done one secretly while I've been bladdering on,

just talking to one of the other stone killers there, that's the little, I thought I'd put a joking, just one every 44 episodes, no more than that, it's not appropriate, oh there's a beauty, that's a real iceberg of a stone there, look like nothing, and that'd be quite a good hand-sized stone, that's the Hermione hand, the added Hermione, I'm not sick, so coming around to the main central can, not the central can, sorry, just the main can, the biggest can, can catchable, probably could have a bigger can than him, he was in Dallas, you know he was big in the 80s, can he catchable, dead now as well, he's a lot of them, almost over the top except in the Elysian fields of the afterlife, human JR are there, you know and everyone else who's ever died,

he's not just a character from Dallas, and it's an actor as well, stone gods aren't crazy, can catchable is the actor's name, Larry Hadman is probably their JR, look it up on Wikipedia if you're confused, just the way that has come up, I don't think Wikipedia will explain why it's come up in this podcast, right we're heading down, it's going to have a little little hassle off across, you see what's out here, there's a beauty weird stone with like a fossil in the middle, that could be, look at that, well something that is in the middle, sort of a very vague ammonite in the middle of that, off the field it goes, not interested in billions of years old bit of life, I'm interested in clearing stones, am I right, ammonite, that's the title of the show,

that's the title of the podcast right now, so yeah it's been, I mean it's been a bit of a weird one today, sorry I am slightly affected I guess, by the events of the last couple of weeks, sorry it's been a bit morbid but it's important to accept what's coming to you, going to make the most of life while you have it, spotted something in quite the distance, that I want to have a look at, so I'm heading out, just picked up a couple of stones on the way, tossed them off the field, not like that, excuse me, this is actually just again, it's more the angle of it's quite small stone, probably wasn't worth the journey, oh it's not bad, it's a very white stone again, those are the ones that tend to catch your eyes,

that's why the dark brown stones, the cover of the fields do have an advantage in terms of if they're whisked to remain camouflaged, on the way back I picked up quite a nice bobbly light brown stone, Wolfie's quite excited about that one, jumping up at it, passing many many stones on my way back, you can't get them all, all at once, but that's three off because I picked off a little sibling stone of the big one, that seems just cracked off, three stones off, a little tiny stone off, coming up to the ditch and stop Brexit and hoping against hope that we'll climb on doing its work, it doesn't look good I would say, but then you just have to believe, no friends,

if you don't believe that we'll dampen the magic however unlikely, it may seem, if you believe and if you put in enough stones this ditch, it's never failed me before, I don't see why it should fail me again, how many times have we Brexited so far, zero, how many times have we not Brexited an infinite number of times, all thanks to this ditch, we'll keep fueling it, we'll keep feeding it, we'll keep praying to it, our vote of offerings will not go unthanked, and I hope the gods will forgive me, I'm going to put in slightly large stone than usual,

just in the hope that they will not think I am vain, just in the hope that that will help, do vote in the coming elections, I don't care who you vote for, but if every one of these stones is a vote against Brexit, I've just added 10 votes, which I think you'll find will make all the difference, so we are scanning this field, photo you can see in there, that's just a tiny part of the field of course that you're seeing in that photo don't forget, hopefully you'll be able to pick out how many stones there are lying amongst there, somewhere is my great white whale of a shark, oh that smells good, whoopee, hi, okay cool come on darling good girl

there's some doggies aren't there, you see the doggies, they're like you aren't they but they're different, what's going on, how can you recognise them as dogs what are you, how do you know they're still dogs even though they don't look like you, explain that I suppose the stones know each other, they're very different too, a stone knows a stone, a dog knows a dog, a human will always recognise a human, child will always recognise another child one of the wonders of the world, more impressive when the stones do it though, let's face it, so that's been a nice long walk, I hope we did meet one dog walker there I hope you enjoyed this extended podcast as it should be, I've really got a lot of work to do,

I should have just done a short one now, think about it, but for like three sitcom episodes in the next eight days that's not going to happen is it, taking me three months to write three but you never know, I should have a sitcom writing ditch that tells me, hey what about an episode where Ken starts stone carving and the episode is just him walking around a field talking about how he does it doing a podcast, that's for two of two episodes of the sitcom written, one for go, oh the leaves all over the floor here we go a mother pushing her baby up in the hill there in a frame and weird to think that that baby did

not exist but I'm not in it and out of the uterus form one year ago when I was doing these podcasts for the first time, isn't that strange and beautiful and irrelevant, if you listen to the beginning of this podcast you all know why, remember that rhyme, so we're back home dirty fingered and lots of emails coming in all this time Eric, quarter orange peel, he's really in touch say what's your hand washing, put this one up because it's just what I'm washing raising, that was a good question because you don't have to get into that, it is important when you come off the field to wash your hands thoroughly to take time to use, let the water

warm up, make sure you need a nail brush really which she is wondering, you can use a washing up brush and that's what I'm doing, right things happy birthday to you while you're doing it, don't worry that's a happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you get right in between the fingers, Eric, quarter orange peel and I'm just using my own my own fingernails to clean my fingernails there, the birthday to Eric, quarter orange peel, because it is your birthday at the same time then it will really freak you out, happy birthday to you and then that's it when you're done I want to do good cleaning, this is very important, just generally speaking I mean a lot of people who listen to podcasts don't feel it's important to bathe very often and I'm not judging you for that

because I'm a father and a half and I go for a couple of days without having to wash, what's the point but do try and keep clean, as I say there is always bacteria missing out to kill you and stuff you clean in scents, so try and stay as healthy as possible, just need some chewing gum there that's my uh that's my poster from clean treat oh oh sorry, I lost my feet the dog and um you know we could carry this on all day give me the toilet in a bit hold it and get rid of the chewing gum there's a piece of bacon that has fallen into the dog water bowl but I've got a fish to have

and give them to the dog, one user surname she's been in fact to say does it really matter, is it really it's like meaningless, does it really matter how many stones you clear ultimately isn't it all just a way of avoiding the realisation that your life is meaningless and you're gonna die no that's wrong, that's very wrong, ethical life is very important, you have to make the best of it but the way of making the best of it is through as many stones as we can, judge a man not by the colour of his skin but the content of his cleared stones in the water and that also works for women by the way that's the same

women and men are equal, men are slightly better at stone clearing but it's just a strong thing and a strength and intelligence thing to make them better right well I better leave it there if I get cancelled, 48 minutes, come on that's not bad Wolfie says goodbye thanks for watching, did you enjoy the show putting those two big stones I showed you nothing to say, all right see you next time on Stone Clearing with Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog you have been listening to Stone Clearing with Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog

featuring some dog walkers in the distance, that was it, there were some stones in it and if you saw those thank you to Mike Coffgrave for writing the haunting melody not the thing you're listening to now and to the voice of the vatones Michael Fahey