Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 48

Episode Date: December 26, 2019

Chapter 48 - The Curfed Chapter. Boxing Day 2019 and it's around 12.30pm so only an idiot would call it morning. This was already the second attempt at a podcast today, but the first recorded from inside a pocket (and we've done that before) and this one mysteriously cut off halfway. I suspect the Catholic Church may have had some influence over this as both times I tried to explain the true hiftory of Jefuf. This was not as good as the first attempt and we have lost much, but then we also lost the last ten minutes and the pronouncement 'Be Fit, don't be Fhit' so you're really missing out. But there's a Chriftmaf treat for you if you can wait til the end. (picture by Steve Burnett)

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Oh, just okay, I haven't put the plates out yet, but um, that's everything else is out. So, come on wolves! Good girl, come on darling. Liffon to the baton, my friend. All day shall think he a merry dance. Wait here babe. Good girl.

Hello, hello. Right, hello. Oh, some people coming. Gonna have to go in, give me some. Come on wolves, good girl. Whoopie, come here. Wait. Hi.

Whoopie, hello. Hi, yeah, good things, hello. Whoopie! Good girl. Uh, welcome to chapter 48 of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring. It's actually, uh, it's the 26th of December 2019. It's half past 12 in the afternoon, even though I just said morning for those people, they must be thinking, fuck, what a, what a completely numbskull idiot.

It's raining, and this is the second crack at chapter 48. I've been out this morning, recorded you a beautiful boxing day podcast, but for some reason, uh, my phone did not connect to my wonderful AirPods, and, uh, you just got the inside of my pocket again, and I've done that once. I don't feel like it. There was some great stuff in that podcast. Maybe I'll put it up in the secret area for super fans to try and discern, but we'll try and do the same stuff again now.

You know, it won't be as good. Try and cover the basic same ground, but there'll be things that are lost, lost forever, um, which is annoying, so hopefully this one's working. Uh, it's important to keep the tone clearing every day of the year, of course. Uh, Chris Math has no special significance within the, oh, that was so much good stuff about the stone gods. I wonder if I'll get it back. Uh, has no special significance,

significant within the tone clearing religion, if you will. Um, oh, it's very blustery out here. Much worse than it was this morning, I have to say. I'm going to get a very different stone clear, uh, straight in. That's going to the can that opens and closes. I've got it back for, for a boxing day as well. Um, Jesus, as we call him in our religion, is a prophet of the, of the tone clearing religion, but he is not the mafia that you see him as.

I think he was one of the first people to really get him to stone clearing. I think a lot of his work's been misinterpreted. He wasn't the son of God. He has made a flesh not of stone, but if you look at his work, a lot of it does confirm stones. And I think that the early church embarrassed by his hatred of all things biological, which was occluded then, uh, changed the message somewhat. But some of it still survives through his teachings.

They couldn't hide it all, that he is without sin, cast the first stone. That's not how you think, uh, try and say that we've all sinned. And what for, um, none of us should try and stand. It's actually saying, if you have not got any sin, then you can be a stone clearing man. Uh, and, look, I don't want to turn this into a religious podcast. This is about stone clearing. It's not really about the religious side of things. But the truth of the matter is, is that human beings have no real place

within the stone clearing community. And there was a very, after life, I should say, of course, in the community they do. Uh, but those humans who've done well and cleared stones, they, in the afterlife, will not be punished, uh, for being human. Whereas humans will be, hell is essentially for you non-believers. And again, I'm not trying to convert anyone here. Uh, hell is essentially you being pelted with stones for the rest of eternity,

just flying into your face. But if you were a good human, did the best you could to help with the stones, then you will be made one of the people who chucked some stones at you and hasn't chucked at you. And that's what it means that he is without sin, cast the first stone. He who hasn't sinned, he who has helped stone gods, then he will be in hell, throwing the stones rather than having prayed. Which I think you'll agree is about those tiring,

but it's not about having pelted with stones for eternity. And it hurts, again, not trying to convert you to the religion. Uh, that's not what this is about, this is just about technique. But, yes, I'm due, if you want to be, spend a turn to being pelted with stones, sure. I wonder even if Jesus is a god, but he's not. He was just a good man and lived around all the time, so he would be important for clearing stones. I'm not saying I'm like Jesus, Jephaph, as we call him, sorry. Uh, I don't think I'm a bit better than Jephaph, he didn't have a podcast.

Uh, so you can make sure that my words will not be misinterpreted, that they will go on through time, because I have this podcast which will surely help us all get pelted and pelted. And if you look at Jesus' work, again, it's very stone-based. What is the illichurch if not just an attempt to clear lots of stones into the shape of buildings that you can then worship inside? I mean, again, I get a lot of skepticism from people about some of the aspects of stone clearing, but you'd have to be crazy not to see that connection. Um, just some dog walkers approaching me, uh, so I'll put my feet back on my leash. Uh, but you know, you believe whatever you want to believe, that, uh,

you know, when I'm chucking stones at you in the afterlife, I won't feel sorry for you if you haven't done anything to me beforehand. Um... Come on, darling. Come on, darling. Good girl, beans, come here. Beams, woofie, come here. No, no, come on. How are you doing? Good things. Come on, darling. Woofie, come on.

So, uh, just passing some men with a grey, grey hound, or protective hound. Quite rightly, too. Um, but anyway, look, this isn't about the religion, but Jesus, he loved stone clearing. I thought I could tell you, even after he died, he came back to life to clear that massive stone from his tomb, didn't he? Rolled it aside, and that's exactly how I'm going to be. Even if I die, I'll be like, come on, let's get back up. Have a little rest, two or three days, and bang, back to stone clearing, eternal life. I mean, that's what I want, obviously. I want eternal life. I'm trying to face myself with stones.

I don't know if that's what Jesus managed. He didn't offend to heaven. He suggested he wasn't made of stone, that a stone cannot fly. But anyway, yeah, we're getting a sort of potted version of what I did the first time as we were around the field. Um, and I just, you know, I do want to say that whatever your beliefs, however wrong they are, you can believe in Allah, Buddha, Alan, whoever you want to believe in, but you will be burning forever. We're not burning forever, we've been pelted forever by some stones, by me thrown. I'll definitely be one of the people throwing them, and I'm not going to hold back. This, really, my whole life has been in sort of training for this.

But anyway, so we don't stop stone clearing over the Christmas period. If anything, you do a bit more. As I've seen today, two stones being forecast in a day have done. Of course, that's not unusual for me. I clear stones with every opportunity I can. Two a day, three a day, four a day, whatever I can manage to have much time. We can muster. So, um, I should say, if you're back in the Kickstarter campaign, you should have had an email telling you where you can view the wonderful documentary about photon clearing. If you become a badger or a badger already, it's in your secret area.

I did have someone, um, so, um, Brian E. Twig got in touch again, I think she's been in touch before, to say she was disappointed that, um, that we didn't get to see the photon pole in that video. It was a difficult day. I was planning to go all the way around the field, but the fire and the fire brigade and everyone and the farmer being around had to, I had to tell things a little bit. So, sorry, you didn't get to cheer and see that for real. I did do a little photon pole in the previous podcast.

So, I didn't really hit it very often. I did find some nice specimens this morning. Is this a good one? Not a bad little stone there. We're some way from the shore now. I'll discuss that that way. Well, come on, come off and leave there. I did also comment earlier that it's wet and it's raining, but the ground is good, of course, for stone clearing. The ground is repliable still.

In one day, I think the whole of the winter in which we have frost on the ground, which should be sending out terrible signals to everyone really involved that the world's in trouble. December, and it's wet and not cold, but it's great for stone clearing, which is the main thing. Because, of course, the stones are still easy to pick up and get out of the earth. Ultimately, that's all that matters. If the extinction of biological life is the price, then let's burn some fossil fuels.

Let's use some of the oceans from the 1980s. Let's fucking knock ourselves out, diesel, whatever you want to use. Let's destroy this planet once and for all so that the stones can rule again, as they were always meant to, hopefully, impiles left by me. And you, if you're stone clearing, some of you aren't, some of you are just listening. Some of you are pornography, I know. Some of you are trying to self-sleep. Whatever you're doing it for, it's okay.

But ultimately, if you're not using it for the right reasons, you will. I'll be casting that stone at your stupid, unbelieving pace. Laugh him as I do, but see, I was right. In fact, what religion is all about, my friend, and if you think it's about anything different, you need to grow up. So there are some lovely stones on this particular part of the field. I should say that even though I don't believe in Christmas, there's a little Christmas gift coming up at the end of the podcast.

Do keep tuned in for that. Very exciting. I hope you'll enjoy it. I can't give it too much away. I shouldn't really have mentioned it, but I'm just too excited not to mention it. And I found a nice, rich scene of stones here, out in the middle of the field, a proper Millennium Falcon here. I mean, too many to pick up.

I walked through and made that observation in the other podcast that something's telling me I have to take this one up. I've got a lot already. I'm wearing, now I have a machine gun Ho Ho Ho sweatshirt, which I got a bit dirty on the previous podcast. My wife was a gnarly annoyed about that. But anyway, this is just a little bonus for you this podcast today. Just, I'm not sure it will go up or not.

Unboxing day. It depends very much on Orange Mark at the British Comedy Guide, who I'd like to thank for his tireless commitment to putting up these podcasts, even though he thinks they're ridiculous and mocks me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it's a bit of a shame, but I think it's a bit of a shame.

He thinks they're ridiculous and mocks me. I mean, to be honest, he probably is available on Unboxing Day to put this up, because, you know, he's just on the internet. I assume he has no partner of any kind, or probably no family. So hopefully this will be going up nice and early. But he does great work. And please do not befriend him or become his sexual partner,

in case he decides to confront Matt Rather than on a podcast that he sort of doesn't like. Which is nice of him. He's a good guy. And I'm not going over to the stone pole. I've done it today. It's overkill for me. Sorry that you've missed it.

The rain is actually me in the face. It's cold, but not that cold. And that's a good thing. So I'm just going to do a brief excursion. And obviously either the Fadonga or Gifu was set by this podcast. The first one is Unlistenable, and this one just cut off at that point for no particular reason, which never happened.

So, and I went on to talk about the kerf at the podcast. And maybe it's because I stole stones from the field. I assumed those kerf stones would curse the people who got them, and that we'd have lots of messages about people being burned to death, or just crushed by the stones falling on them off shelves. It hasn't happened yet at all, though. I did say that I think a lot of those people who got those stones probably live alone.

So their bodies may be lying undiscovered at the moment. Anyway, look, I can't be asked to go back again. I've done two podcasts on Boxing Day. And, you know, I've managed to get a half out of it. So have a lovely Christmas. What's left of it? If you're listening to this now, if you're not listening to it, it's not Christmas.

I'll listen to it. Wait till the next Christmas, and then listen to it then. It was a very Christmassy podcast. We missed loads of great stuff between those two fuck-ups, but that's just the way life is. So God bless us, everyone. Worship the Photon Gods carefully, my friends. And here's a little Christmas treat for you.

I hope you will enjoy this. Goodbye. You have been listening to The Stone Clearing with Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog. Also that bloke with the grey hand of the people that passed in the street right in the beginning. There was a brother-in-law at the beginning. I was telling him about the plates. And then a calf.

There were some people probably later on as well. The opening music is by Mike Coffgrave. This beautiful song is traditional, written by a non-arranged by Mike Coffgrave. The voice of the tones is Michael Faheen. Don't listen to the thorns, my friend. And they falting year merry does. Don't listen to the birth and truth. Don't listen to your underhand.

Listen to the thorns, listen to the thorns. And they in turn falfer to you, my friend, my fine friend. Thank you.