Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 53

Episode Date: January 28, 2020

Chapter 53: Unneeded Torch. There's an amazing surprise guest to get you in the mood for today's chapter of stone clearing, with some wise words and stone philosophy, but don't let that distract you from the lessons that are imparted in this very important chapter, mainly not to take your torch with you if there is still daylight. But Rich is forced off the field in an exciting game of cat and mouse with a possible ghost, but still managed to feed the Ditch that ftopped Brexit to definitely once and for all ftop Brexit. Who controls your destiny? Stones.

Hey, what's up? So this is a very interesting message that I'm sending out. This is from a man, Richard Herring, who told me that he works clearing stones from a field. I don't know if I've ever heard of that job, but, you know, I guess it's definitely hard labor, you know, lifting stones, depending on what size the stones are. But I guess it's also a job that has to be done. And, you know, I've always told people there's no menial jobs, it's just menial people, you know, I'm saying anything I do is important. If they got me doing it, it's important. So, none but respect, Richard, you know, for this particular occupation. Now, then you ask me some philosophical things, you know, like, what do I think about

this kind of work? I got none but respect for work, period, you know, whatever somebody does to earn a living has to be respected. Now, then you ask me how quickly human life passes compared to the endurance of a stone. Richard, what are you trying? Are you trying to fuck my head up? Human life is short. By the time you actually realize that you got things to do and you're grown and you're an adult, life is pretty much gone. So, you know, if anything, I tell people I'm time poor, you know, even though I plan on living to 100, that's still nothing in comparison to the life of a stone. And then you ask me, is ice a type of a stone? I guess it could be. I guess if you get hit in the head with

a brick or get hit in the head with a big block of ice, it would feel the same. And then your final question was who controls your destiny? We're all going to die. So I think we have a little bit of control in what goes on while we're alive, you know, we have a lot of control in that. We have a lot of control in our mental state, but I don't know if there's any outside forces. I have no proof on that. So I'll say we control our own destiny to an extent, then there's bad luck. Yo, Richie, why you try to fuck my head up, man? What the hell is going on with this, this? But I'm having fun with it. That's why I'm still talking, all right? But nothing but respect, Rich. Those are thoughts from Ice Tea About

Stone. Stone Clearing with Richard Herring. You got me. Whoopee, stay, stay, stay. Hello, and welcome to, what's going on here? What's chapter 53? Me one versus me two, Snooper? Ah, Dan's got the wrong one. And those of you who skeptical that Ice Tea was a fan of the podcast, I hope that precinct convinces you otherwise. If you have any doubt that that was the real Ice Tea and you're a badger, which you should be anyway, head to your secret members area where you will see that video on video proving the Ice Tea is very much a fan of the podcast. Thanks, Ice Tea, for getting in touch. Again, I mean,

if you want me to get videos from everyone who's emailed in, I'm glad to do that. I'll ask some skeptical people out there. Anyway, it's, what are we on January the 27th, 2019, it's evening, or 4.33. As we speak, who controls your destiny as fans, Ice Tea? You don't even know your own work. It's not even pathetic. The tea and you up there, mate, should help you out. It's raining again. I'm losing a friend. We have company on the field. Well, I think that will force us in this game of chess to go in different direction than how would you plan to do so? But that might make things interesting for you. Yeah, it's, keep this going up around there, tossing on to the opening game. It's usually a game too much

love these days. Yeah, but a bit of variety. If you were going up the hill past the ditch that stopped Brexit, still so far operational. As far as I can tell, I still believe. And let's toss a couple of stones into that ditch, which I will. We'll hit it with stones down here to be fair. I thought it was going to be dark and it is. It looked dark from inside the house. I brought my torch with me. There's no need. It's bright. Bright out here like a fool. I mean, I haven't got my torch on. A torch is, again, a modern piece of equipment that was not going to be available to the early Stonklers. I mean, we didn't really know where the early Stonklers were as we discovered them either. So they didn't really have any

access to anything that you were considered to. But the Middle Ages is really where for me. The, I don't know what to call it, industry or a pastime. I don't know what it is. Not a pastime. Really took off and became the big business. That's it for today. Some stones don't clear us. Obviously around the world making serious amounts of money doing this job. I do it for love. And that Iced Tea video sent me back $350. I don't know how much that is in a UK pounds, but that plus the £100 were down on the music. In fact, I paid Mike some more money earlier on to do the other theme tune. So, yeah, so far, this is a loss making Nancy project. You must have been sure that all those stones were sold. Yeah, but

that's when he went to Reheles for a gift for you. Do worry that the reemergence of Crack-A-Jack is going to take people off to where they store pretty much all of my quality material. So far, no one has noticed. So we're coming up unusually. It's unusual to come this way, but it's nice because we're heading into where the sun is setting up that we can see it. Just slightly lighter gray cloud in that area, but more light coming from that area, but it's overcast out here. And we're approaching a major can, which of course is getting too close. You're not as stone clear as it will be. You have to really understand. It's a sort of weird sinister field to the field today. And we'll see where we are as

we go down this corner. Looks like it goes on to the main can. I mean, it's wet out here. There are puddles. Let's head towards the stone pole, I guess. It's wet out here. It's obviously raining harder than it is right now. Picking up. Just taking out a little brownie there. Caramel brown. Flat. Still on the small spectrum, but worth getting rid of. This one looks a bit like care. And those figs rolls, black in the middle, brown on the outside. Some people have emailed in to complain. I'm not meeting as many people on these walks as I used to. Too many to mention all of them, but one of the people was Les Mud. He's of course French for some mud. Just made it difficult for him at school. Why are you

meeting so few people? I'm just reading what he said. He can't blame me for his illiteracy. That used to be the fun bit, but that's the fun bit for me. I enjoy that. But I can't force people to be in it. In fact, no one knows they are in it. And obviously either the dog walkers of this parish have died out or are walking the dogs elsewhere for some reason. Maybe they've been taken out by the stone starsy. Maybe they've been pinpointed as the culprits. And have reached their doom, which is sad for them. That was never my intention for innocent dog walkers to die. But they are only made of flesh. Not as important as when I'm doing all the things I'm moving off the thing. I would remind you I'm made of non-organic material. That's all I

wanted to say. I picked up three more mediums. I've got to crack up the stone pole. The pile has got a lot closer to the stone pole than in recent weeks. So it's a bit easier. There you go, straight away, bang. Oh, and that friend, I thought it was a fox. I thought it was a little doe. The other two have missed, but here they first. I'll help you cheat. This is a nice friend. I've been down here a little bit nice. I'm a medium small, I'd say there. Again, caramel coloured. Don't eat these even ones that are like lovely caramels. A is disrespectful. B, the human being cannot digest stone, not yet. Very exciting to see news from Herculaneum or Pompeii that one of the victims of that terrible disaster back

a couple of thousand years ago now had his brain turned to glass. And if you saw that in the paper, which is close enough to me for being stone, that is really what I'm hoping can happen to me. He didn't live through these wounds, but I'm hoping I can. I just have to say, I just threw a brilliant, quite large stone from some distance, landing right on the can when the weather grows. Still, exactly the same size as always, of course. We're now crossing back an unfamiliar, up the hill, the philosophical hill, many have called it. I am 20 metres away from the shore, and I'll toss that one a bit closer. Not too bad. We're at about 15 metres, I'd say, that disc is like throw. If you are a celebrity

fan of the podcast, do get in touch. Sharon Stone has been in touch. Say how much she enjoys the podcast. I think she was researching for her own name. So she found it, but some people don't really serve it, and look, she turned up on that app, and she's dating it. That's what happens, she does that. So I found a nice solid medium, medium, as I walk up the hill, I can go on the central can as long as I'm not disturbed. On the way up this hill I've got a nice territorial disadvantage, just to pierce the brow, so let me second. So yeah, it's not my fault, Les Mud. Just wanted to check his name on the email that he sent in, that I'm not getting so many, bumping into somebody who I don't know why

that is. It's always one of my highlights of the podcast, but none of this is fake to be real. There are no lies in this podcast, it would not be allowed by the Stone Clearing Guild. I have to send the podcast off to them, they check, double check every aspect of it, to make sure it's not bringing his heart, and that's what it is, it's an art, into this repute. Oh, I can see a dog walk away, that's the same one I saw before, up in the far corner. If he comes crossing this way, he may have outsmarted me, but we could always head back the way we came. Just carrying one stone, I'm passing a lot of stones, picked up that stone quite some time ago, maybe a medium, bang right in the middle of the possible sizes

of stones in the world, this one. And yes, I think he has come this way, so we might just turn around and go back, and I might feel a little more comfortable, as I am essentially going in reverse here, which does not feel natural. If there are people who enjoy going counterclockwise around their fields, I am not judging you. You'll still be allowed to do this the way we want to do it, but to me, it feels dirty and wrong, and inimprisonable I think. I managed to get a couple of babies out there, onto the central camp, but to escape this dog walker, and you might say, hey Rich, well that's why we're not meeting so many people. No look dude, I can't, I've got to try and avoid them if I can, and I'm thinking

I'd be riskier throwing a stone right in front of that man's face. Hey, you haven't fun. I will try to avoid them if I can, but obviously sometimes it's unavoidable that I can't avoid them, and so I don't avoid them. But maybe that's part of it, the game of chess is becoming more elaborate, with all becoming better players, and that's no bad thing. So yeah, this feels natural. I'm not saying the counterclockwise guys are unnatural, but it does feel like that. So I do seem to have become a lot of caramel coloured stones today, another nice pair, just nestled in the palm of my tiny hand. Oh look at that baby, we're coming down the new path. Oh, that's a beauty. I mean that's a very dark caramel. Oh look

there's a very dark caramel, but that's again right in the medium, if you pooed this one you would have to go to hospital or something, that's how big it is. You know, if it was a poo or a rub and stuff. I've got a new coat, not my fancy coat, new dog walking coat, another one's the zip broke. I then got a replacement, but the heads of the inner lining came detached, sent it back, and now I have a new, hopefully quite warm coat. The gloves I'm wearing are the thin stone picking gloves, and they're already in the cold through, but the coat so far has proven warm, it's got one of those furry hoods that you used to have in your school, but it's brown, very caramel coloured actually, well I'm not really putting

it next to these caramel stones, I'm cold-y. So passing by another tree that's near the edge of the field, passing by a few stones here, I've only got three, well I only have three, and it's no really bad, I'll have exactly three stones. Keep going close, there's another beauty there, this guy's coming fast up behind me, he knows what he's up to. So we're coming up to the stone pole, that's where the path leads, suggesting people will know about the stone pole, that one just hit the stones at the base of the stone pole, how's that one? How's it that one? Right, we're going to have to, come on, we're going to have to escape. Spitting out a little bit of that, pleasantness that came out of my nose into my mouth there.

Sorry if this is a sensitive disposition. So really I've just done this podcast today to prove to the skeptics that me and Isteo are very close. The money that I paid him was just to cover his living expenses and stuff like that. He's still a dear friend, says my name in the message everything, and he seems a bit confused given that he was on last week's podcast, but he's a busy man. Quite an imposing figure, this guy who's, if it's the same guy who's been right around the periphery of this field in double quick time, I have to say. I don't really see him, he's pulling back behind me, so I don't have to turn around for attention myself, I cut him obviously a few minutes or two

and a number of stones I can pick up now, I'll just kick one across there, or it's going to be a big puddle. Alright, he's gone off the field. Checkmate to me, he went off down by the can, there he goes. So, play the blinder there, oh no he didn't, he's coming up behind this fucker. Shit, he was clever. I actually had transgressed on him a little bit, that was a smart move by that guy. He's going to be right behind me all the way now, so actually let's cut across, or should we cut down, oh I don't know what to jump scared. Come on, we'll go this way, well let's go down, we've got like a little few measurements while we're not being seen, so we can pick up a few, a couple of stones. Probably a fan of the podcast trying

to track me down, he played the blinder there, I have to say, completely checked me with the old off the field back onto the field, double gambit. Probably spotting my torch as soon as I'm some kind of dog walking novice, there you can bunny. He may have curtailed somewhat this today's podcast. I'm going to risk just bending and picking up a couple of stones, even though he must be hoving into view at any moment. He's just going down the fence as we walk down towards the stop Brexit, no Brexit yet has there, so sharp. It's weird because he's not yet appeared. I'm slightly scared, I wonder who's going to cut across this field down the side, this field is going to emerge in front of me. He was going so

fast and now he is so slow, I wonder if he could pick up this transmission as he was going. Oh no, he's right behind me. Dammit, here he comes. There's no escaping him. But we've done our contractual obligation, dog walking, I think the dog has done a wee. You were wondering, don't you? It's embarrassing to be like, embarrassing to be holding a torch even if it's not on. And with this guy right behind me, I'm not even in a position to add much to the Brexit picture, I'm just going to quit one just because you have to, but I had to just nip down there, the fear of being seen and being followed, he could follow me to my home, and then who knows what might happen. So, we do have to be careful. Right,

we'll skip back on here. Oh, and he's disappeared again, what? I don't know, he's sort of skulking in the bushes. He's a weird guy. God knows what he's doing, why is he stopping and starting all the time. Well, how's he going to say I'm spooked? I do have a fierce dog. Woofie, what are you doing? Come here. She looks fierce here, isn't she? She's nice. And probably not particularly if I was being beaten, you could probably eat my face where I'm dead in the field. That's what they do, apparently. We're heading off the field, so just trying for a couple of emails maybe. The emails always come in this bit. And yeah, for people who think I make up my names, there are some people who think that, for example,

Brian Fentz posts, and why do you obviously just make up a name to play something that you've seen. Well, I hope that proves to Brian that I don't, because there you are, your email's been read out, and I don't really like to do things like that because I think you should believe me. How do you make sure that proves it? Why don't you, Henry? Stephen Evenwall. He's run through. I mean, emailed through. He rang as well, but I don't take phone calls from strangers. Straight, just push them through. Please go in touch to say I like the Stone Clearing podcast. It is good. Yeah, I'm not all gold, these podcasts. Please email. I appreciate that. Love the show, please. That's all that is. So yeah,

it's been a week at your podcast. We have to, I think, acknowledge that, like that said out loud. Chased off the field by a man who seems to appear and disappear like some kind of dog walking ghost. That I see that makes up for it, right? There we go. Who's a good girl? Didn't need the torch, did we? An unneeded torch. Put your messy out here. Just getting the roots on, I think. Right. Well, we'll leave it there for today. It's not been, I haven't covered myself in glory, but do take threats seriously out in the field. It's more important you live to clear stones another day. Do not be afraid to flee if you suspect. You are about to be murdered. You bought by the podcast today, Wolfie. Okay, well, I'll

give you some food. I do keep emails flying in, and some of the endorsements, you know, get in touch with our celebrity. Oh, we're in ages with that. It's late. I'm still going to feed the dog. And then off we go about our day. So thanks for listening. Keep the faith, keep cleaning the stones. What this is about, you've got the validation of ice tea. If you ever resolve with a wavering, if you ever start thinking, is there any point to do listen to that message from ice tea, it's a message to me, but I believe it's a message to all Stone Clearers. We shall overcome. All right, well, that'd be a kiss. I mean, how'd you follow ice tea? With a boring podcast. That's how you follow. Bye.

They for helping you marry dance. Don't liven to the bird fan tree. Don't liven to your underpants. Liven to the stone. Liven to the stone. And they in turn, I'll liven to you, my friend, my pine friend. Stone Clear with Richard Herring starred me, Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog, and the mysterious man followed me around, disappearing like a ghost. Plus, a very special appearance from Ice Tea, motherfuckers. Thank you very much to Mike for all the musical stuff he's done for us, and the voice of the photons is Mike or for my friend. Don't liven to the bird fan tree. Don't liven to your underpants. Liven to the stone. Liven to the stone. And they in turn, I'll liven to you, my friend, my pine

friend. So, you know, if anything, I tell people, I'm time poor. You know, even though I plan on liven to a hundred, that's still nothing in comparison to the life of a stone.