Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 7

Episode Date: January 2, 2019

Chapter 7: Brave New Field. It's 2019, but stone clearing has gone on every year of human history and will not stop now, just because it's the future. The feckless and superstitious folks of the Hertfordshire village where Richard lives are afeared of the field stone-moving imps and have left out messages in stone to try and appease the fairy folk. But Richard is not worried about that. He has clearing to do and has to get fit so he can clear more efficiently. It's a relaxed podcast in which Rich transgresses one of the main rules of Stone Clearing (but remember there are no rules) and meets another dog with a mental illness, just as he is worrying about his own sanity. Was it just a dog of the mind? A log dog made flesh? Your guess is as good as mine. You'd have to have a stone cold heart not to think this was the most amazing thing ever created. But wait til you see the wall.

All right, I'm taking the dog out. Stone Clearing with Richard Herring. All right girl, come here. Hello and welcome to another chapter of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring. And Happy New Year is 2019. And we've been stone clearing now for four or five months. Happy Christmas to you as well.

Of course Christmas year means nothing to the stone clearer. Time is measured in one year is the amount of time it takes to clear a field of stone. So we're very much probably on day one still in stone clearing timing. But it's still nice to celebrate some of the traditions of you non-stone clearing people. And Christmas, stone clearers are still out on Christmas. As you may see from the picture of this podcast, some mysterious person, maybe the person who put up the Herring Mounds sign has left a happy Christmas stone, a merry Christmas stone on the main can.

Usually I don't approve of stones being brought from off of the field and placed on a can. That is obviously madness. But in this occasion, I'm going to electrify this Christmas. Jesus, some people believe, was the first stone clearer. He talked about chaff and wheat and stuff. So he was interested in fields, chucking stuff amongst the stones. I think there's a message there for us all. So yeah, back out on the field. Here we are.

It's about 8.30, a little bit later than usual. There's personal reasons at home. Just I was looking after the kids or something. Yeah, look straight on the field. Found two stones right at the entrance of the field on the path that I've never spotted before. They go onto that can. And I think we'll do the full walk with the diagonal. I haven't yet taken your own whole field.

The whole part of the field that you are unaware of. We did discuss the size of this field in the previous podcast. It's a big one. So yeah, I'm just, to be honest with you, not people have been walking the dog over Christmas, not me. So I haven't done as much stone clearing. As usually, no, it's all arrogantly claiming that stone clearers don't have Christmas and stuff. I, you know, oh, look at these two babies here.

Right again, right near the pathway, the stone shore. In a place I've walked past a million times. Just two, you know, good, small apple sized stones. They'll go onto the can by the bench. I'm sure you're aware of that. Yeah, I mean, this just seems to be, again, these stones growing. I don't understand it. I'm pretty sure people aren't putting the stones on the field.

You never know. But where they come from, only you can guess. But yes, I haven't been out as much. So if you are kind of, I know somebody can listen to the sounds of the stones and work out how big the piles are. And a lot of you are charting when we walk around the fields based on that. And I wouldn't want to lie to you that the cans are not that much bigger than they were the last time he spoke. But I had been tempted to do a Christmas Day podcast for you. But unfortunately, other people want to walk the dog.

And the thing is you can't really do stone clearing in this day and age without a dog. Now, obviously in the past, that wouldn't have always been the case. People were out here just unashamedly stone clearing. But now it must be kept a secret thing. And the dog is your cover field. You're just a man walking around a field, chucking stones into the undergrowth. You will look crazy. If you have a dog, that's the reason you're there.

Everything's okay. People have asked about whether it's possible to train your dog to collect the stones for you, at least detect the big ones. I'm hoping that is the case. Wolfie doesn't really seem to show that much interest. She's more interested in twigs, which is crazy. Her twigs and branches are ephemeral. They will disappear, Wolfie.

Stones are here for all way. When the universe finally blows up or whatever's going to happen, what will blow up will be some stones. That is, no one can dispute that or if it implodes, again, stones. It doesn't matter what happens to the universe. It will be made primarily of stones at that point. So, again, Wolfie playing with a twig. That is for the moment.

Yeah, short gamble in the sunshine with your twig, Wolfie. But where will that twig be in 10,000 years time, 1,000 years time, 500 years time, nowhere? So I do have too much talking about stone clearing. And still, I have to say, even after all these months, I'm not having to venture even really more than a couple of feet into the stone ocean to find stones. It's not getting me down because that's partly what I realized over Christmas.

Yeah, I was obviously itching to get out here, itching to share my love of stones and clearing them with you. But we have to be patient. We mustn't be complacent. It doesn't even matter if you just clean cleared one stone a year. You'd still be clearing stones and that is what it's about. It's going to take a long time to do it. Anyway, it's a bright January day.

January the second, I believe, obviously lose track of time a little bit with these things. Picking up a couple of tiddlers there. I mean, they're not tiddlered. They're certainly smaller stones than these two. I've been a bit of illness in the Herring household and quite a lot of hard work on scripts and things needed. So it's been a stressful time. But I've missed being out here because there's something.

Excuse me, even though this is backbreaking hard labor, obviously, and only the hardiest should attempt, there is something very satisfying and relaxing about doing this. I'd possibly just picked up a coin size one, one the size of a potato that's been squashed and probably the size of a regular potato, if you can imagine that. Just as we were talking there, they're off the field. Onto some of the mini cans.

They're bigger than nests now, those ones certainly, but I don't think anyone would call those cans yet. We're approaching the bottom left-hand side of the field as you look up the field, where there's a reasonable kind of a thing that was visible as I came over the brow of the hill or the dip. So that's been quite well. And in fact, this is quite a fertile little area, I've realised. Especially if you venture a little bit out into the stone ocean, there are quite a few here, whereas some parts of the field are.

I was kicking one there, it's gone right onto the big can. There's a lovely big stone right on the top of this. I'm really just adding some eggs of various sizes there, so that one. Picking it right on the path, quite, I don't know, not that nice a size stone. I'll take that a little further up. Just to spread things out a bit, just so the guards on the field don't become suspicious about the activity. I've been reading a book about the Great Escape, and this is very similar. You don't want to draw too much attention to anything.

You need to sort of just get rid of excess stuff without the goons spotting what you're up to. Which I'm not going to get to the point where I'm putting stones down my chausers and walking them into the ground partly because I'm sort of trying to do the opposite, if anything. There's one very embedded in the path there, but I'm going to leave for another time. It's not its time, it doesn't want to come. But when the ground's a little looser, maybe that little goose will come out, who knows. So yeah, this is going to be a very relaxed walk around the field. I'm not going to give you too many tips on the ones that just occurred to me as we go.

Hopefully after the excitement of the first few podcasts, which obviously I deliberately tried to up the drama a little bit, the rest of this series, which will go on weekly as long as I live, will be a little bit more true to the art of stone clearing. You know, a lot of it's quite dull. This one doesn't want to come, but I feel like it should come though. I've got out my little trowel. It's essentially a dog shit cleaning trowel, but I only use it for stones. I want to get dog shit on my stones.

That's a good one. That's going into one of the little, I've got some trees down this edge of the field. I'm trying to do a competition stone versus wood. I'm throwing the stones into the base of the trees to see if a venture can topple the trees. I think I have mentioned this by the force of stone. So far the trees are winning, but again, I don't know how many times I have to reiterate this to people. This is a long process. Don't get on board with this podcast.

Oh, I'll listen to a couple. This is a lifelong commitment. If you're in, strap in, stay in, and experience with me, the excitement, and sometimes the tedium of a man walking his dog around the field, trying to get stones out of the ground. Interesting, a lot of stones in the path sometimes, and they are quite embedded. I don't want to take too many out of the path because obviously they do give you a base to walk on there. When it's muddy, obviously that is a good thing.

A couple of good size ones come out of the ocean. One just sitting atop the ocean. Maybe that's one I threw in the previous journey. But, you know, don't think the ones in the path don't count because, of course, the plough she shall come. Oh, this is a bigger than it looks. And this path will be dug up and those stones could end up back on the field. We need to get them off the field eventually. You know, there's lots of different theories about this, but my feeling is maybe as you go,

scatter some smaller stones onto the path to keep the path sort of stony, and get the big ones off. There are quite a few loose stones for some reason on the field today. I don't know what's been going on, maybe some. And using my foot there to dig up quite a nice one. That's the find of the day. It's a small millennium falcon sized stone. If you imagine the toy, it's not the real millennium falcon, that would be massive.

Obviously, the toy one, if you imagine the smallest toy version of the man of falcon. Millennium falcon, I'm not drunk. That is quite important not to save your ailing and was ailing until after the stones have been cleared. This is not an occupation that can be taken out with any alcohol at all. You have to be sharp, obviously have to be vigilant against being seen, but also if you're throwing stones around, there are no rules for stone cleaning. That's the first rule of stone cleaning. The second rule, of course, just watch out where you're throwing stones.

And the third rule is please do not drink under any circumstances. In this day and age, of course, just kicked a beauty there like a rug ball into the... I just tried to get another one, it didn't work as well. Into the bushes and it flew. It was beautiful. So yeah, even a drop of alcohol. In this day and age, again, this wouldn't have been available to the ages. Stone Clearers, who we bow to have a respectful...

But if you can buy one of those at Home Breathalyzer Kits, just check. You are definitely okay to Stone Clear and it's zero alcohol in your blood, not even a cold morning, not even a medicinal black brandy. You must be stone cold sober and that's where that phrase comes from. From the cold stones of the Stone Clearers. And that's where everyone looks and goes, those men. Many of them would never drink at all. Sometimes they allowed themselves a drink after they cleared a field.

That was it. On that day that finally the stones were gone. A nip of whiskey need. Just whatever homegrown alcohol the Stone Age men had. Again, why is it called the Stone Age? I think you're catching on. So this is imbued in our history. In the future progress, I might read you a little bit from the Venerable Bede.

The first person who mentions Stone Clearers in is a ecclesiastical history of Britain, of England. I haven't got that with me at the moment. I don't want to get it wrong. So it is. It's like Shakespeare. You don't realise how many phrases Shakespeare created. Most of the ones about stones, rolling stone gathers memos.

That's from this. I don't know what it means, but it's got stone in it. I don't know how it, you know, like if you keep rolling the stones. I mean, that'd be insane. I think it's a sarcastic thing that's been taken to mean something else in the modern day. Because obviously if you're rolling stones, the stones are just going to be moving and they'll just end up in another field. So yeah, so I'm employing a bit of kicking here.

Again, surprising amount of stones on the path. I don't always come up this way. So the cans are few and far between, but that's sort of what I want on the nest really. But that's what I like, as I say. I don't want to put that great escape analogy. Maybe like the Great Escapers, you want to get one can going really big to confuse the people searching. They'll concentrate on that one, maybe discover it, pull it down. Whilst all along, the real hard work is being done elsewhere.

Subtitious, they wouldn't even know in their lifetime what you've done. But their children with their grandchildren might start to gradually spot the ever-growing wall around the field. So my hopes for 2019 stone clearing. That's a little round one to a slight slice, taken off the flint of that one. Otherwise it's almost a perfect orb. It's gone onto one of the mini-nest slash cairns that line this route. I'm doing this little passage, as I say, really well. But I'm just doing it right.

And I've dropped my dog-chick-clearing bag. But so far, as far as I've seen, Wolfie has not done a poo. I mean, I know some of you will find this for the toiletry excitement of a dog. And sometimes of myself, of course. That has not so far peered on the podcast, but I'm sure it will on the future one. It's all verite here, and I'm not going to, if I need a wee, I'll do a wee. Wolfie needs a wee, or a pee, believe me. She is not ashamed to do it.

You know, it'll be interesting to come back here on the first podcast of 2020 and maybe compare and contrast how far things have gone. And this is the little bit where I'm trying to block off an animal trail. And it's sort of mean. There's a little trail through the hedge that obviously animals have used through the ages. But again, animals are not made in mineral. They're biological material. What the fuck is that? Okay, I thought that was a stone.

Then I thought it was like some kind of internal organ. I think it's just some poo covered in cobwebs. As we've remarked before, that happens quite a lot out on the field. And literally no one else around this morning. I don't know what's going on. I mean, people are going back to work, of course. But this is good for me. Thank you for the podcast.

I know a lot of you. Your favorite bit is that kind of random element where people will turn up and I have to try and conceal what I'm doing. And they don't know what I'm doing because I'm so good at it. And there. And everyone is really just stupid. I have no idea. But yeah, it's good for me because obviously I can clear.

It's like when the Great Escape with the lights go out. And you can get more people out in the darkness. And that's very much what's going on here. I'm getting really merrily getting stones off. I'm not going too far out. At some point this year, I think surely I will have cleared this shoreline. I think it doesn't feel like it. It's absolutely no discernible difference to when I started.

But surely I will. And then it will become a little bit more exciting as I encroach more regularly out into the field itself. Oh, what's that about? I'm just heading out because I've spotted quite a nice specimen just lying on top of the ground. Not as big as it looked from a distance actually. But it has led me to quite a few more. And it's sort of heartbreaking really because as I get even six feet from the shore, I see that here I'm just like a billion stones.

Quite a big one here. It's resisting coming up. While I'm looking, I'm going to have a crack. This is one of the ones that's sort of coming vertically. Yeah, not as big as I thought, but still not small. Made a sizable hole in the ground there to get that one out, which is nice. So now I'm pretty much in the top corner where dog walkers can appear. This is where the first log dog was spotted spying on me.

I'll see if it's still there today as I just throw those four decent sized stones have all gone onto a mini kent. I'm kind of a little away from this wall when it's finished. It will be somewhat higgledy-piggledy. It's not going to just be a straight journey. And I'm actually so free to have a lack of people around today. I know I went out a little bit later than usual, but I did expect to see some of my villagers who wished a happy new year. No idea how much I disrespect them and they'll never find out. They think I'm just a nice regular guy.

Oh, and actually I've looked across to the next field and that was a stupid mistake because there's just some beautiful stones lying there in the next field that I don't go into. I can't believe no one's clearing that one. I might just have to go and have a look. I can't see the log dog. I can see a log. It doesn't look like a dog. So the log dog, I think, has gone and replaced itself with an actual log. Oh, yeah, look at this one. I mean, this is like the surface of the moon out here. Why is it fucking now? Oh, brave new world. I mean, this is dangerous because if I start coming to this field, but there's just a stone here lying on top of the ground.

It's like one of the biggest ones I've ever seen. It's just lying on the path. There's one over here. Again, a massive stone. Looks like, I mean, that's freaky. That one is all different pebbles in like a piece of concrete. I mean, I'm not going to come in here and clear all these. It's not my job, but I'm going to take a few and put them on this can just because they're so sizable. I mean, it's a good brilliant, but terrible, too, because now I'm thinking, well, you know, even if I finish this one, I've got to move on to this beat. These are like these stones. I can't tell you what this is like. I think this is actually a bit of war, one of these bits, an old bit of war because it's not like or an alien stone. It'll go nicely on top of my top corner can.

It's the biggest one I've ever found, but it is man-made and I'm looking over there. I can see the wall from which it's come that used to be there. Oh, I mean, that's slightly sexually exciting me, I have to say, to see that many stones there and sexually confuse me because it's not my field. And I'm chugging to get letters. Was I right to bring those stones from a different field, ostensibly? There's no boundary anymore between those two fields, so you could argue it's the same one. Or should I have let them be for the same thing on that field? That is a very good question, a philosophical question that we could mull over for a long time, but we're not going through today. We're just going to accept that I took them. I think, as I said, if you're bringing stones in from home to put on your cans, that is wrong.

But all I've done is help another stone clearer and the stones are filled off that field. It doesn't particularly matter which can they go into. Just chuck it a few there as we start the diagonal across the field. Oh, and I can see a dog walking in the distance now at last, but at least I'm not alone out here. I just have to be a bit sumptuous about my throwing. Well, Wolfie's going for that one. So yeah, it'd be nice to train Wolfie so she can at least identify big stones, come and stand over them, point at them with her paw or nose. And I think maybe given time, that could happen just like a Pavlov's dog thing. There's a dog, literally, she's wrong to me, not Pavlov, but it's the same principle, I believe.

She's seen something repeated enough times. Well, she slipped me in the face there when I bent down. That's one of the problems of having a dog with you that loves you. You love me, don't you? You love these stones, don't you? Do you want this stone? Do you want this stone? Go on then, go and get it. Throwing a stone for her. Which, you know, is good. It's fun.

It provides a cover story if you are seeing throwing stones around if a dog chases it after them. Also, that's the only thing closer to the centre, which is where these lot are going to be deposited. Obviously, I'm heading into the centre of the field, the central can. I have lost the one that I was throwing there. So, you know, that's for another day. Maybe another stone clearer because we are somewhere the dog excited to jump in and she loves stones. Look at this. Find this. Find. Find. Wolfie, find. I mean, it's confusing because there are a lot of stones.

She has to have the quality and value decision stones. Oh, bloody hell. So, she just jumped in my face again to understand which of the stones I'm more interested in. Literally, as we walk along here, there's some tire tracks there, and every other bit of stuff is made of stone. I can't tell you the scale of the task. If you're not really comprehending it yet, I don't know what I can do to help you. You're a fucking idiot, that's what I'm saying.

Because it's obvious there's a lot of stones. It's a really big field. I've given you dimensions and it's time you've got a grip and understood what's going on here. I can't help you with that. That's your problem, not mine. But yes, the dog is excited by stones, which is good, I suppose. But do use these ruses to hide what you're doing. The dog I saw, I can no longer see. We may get an encounter-free day today.

We don't know, we'll see. So, as I use, I'm just carrying a few stones as I'm approaching the telegraph pole. I know a lot of you are fans of the telegraph pole coming up. Again, I can see the can around that now from a distance, which is, at least this gives you an idea that what you're doing isn't a waste of time. You are achieving something, just as you see these small victory. I've currently carrying five stones I just picked up two you probably heard there. None of the size of the one I feel guilty about taking those stones from the other field.

I don't know if I should go back and put them back where they belong or not. But let's leave it for now. That's something between me and my conscience. I know some of you are going to have views about it. I've got five in my hands, I just kicked one a bit closer there. Still a good distance, it's gone back onto the field a little bit. But I'm going to kick it back into play. Wolfie's disappeared off.

A bit of orange peel down there. I don't know who put that there. It doesn't matter, it will rot away, but it's disrespectful to the stones. Especially as the orange tree is not indigenous to this country and Brexit is happening this year. And I hope that that will see the... And actually I managed to get that stone in just five kicks maybe. That's a different one I'm kicking in. Six, seven kicks, it's right on the can as are the other five.

I mean that's not a great haul I have to say from this long walk cross. As I say, Wolfie's in a poo. It's out in the field though, I think that's okay. But another bit of satsuma is disappointing in it. I think you share my disappointment. Anyway, people will do what they do. People in the local village, Facebook group often comment on dog poo being in the wrong place. But don't see many of them talking about the satsuma peel, just casually toss.

So near to a major stone monument there. I don't know if you're feeling offended, but I am and I'm hoping 2019 will be the other people finally start getting offended by stuff and kicking up a fuss rather than just letting every little thing go. So yeah, heading back down the hill away from the telegraph pole. Disappointing haul today, I think you'll agree, I don't know if you've been counting. I guess I've just been thinking a bit more than usual and talking the same amount obviously. Alright, I'm trying to throw this one from a distance, this is quite a big distance. My arm does, I've got a bad arm and that has gone into the path, that's fine.

That will be found another day. If I remember and I find it when I'm doing a podcast, I will tell you about that one finding its way home. So no major finds today that I can be proud of anyway. Obviously one of the biggest stones I've ever seen, but not, it was a man made. Right, which is fine, as long as it's mineral, that's, if it's organic, no, depending. If it's not chuck the twat, but do you chuck it from a different field? That's the question you have to ask yourself. You've seen how much is playing on my conscience.

There were so many beauties out there. I don't know if I can stop myself the next time I go past, they're just picking up a couple more. Sometimes it's the temptation. Sometimes it's doing things wrong that makes them clearing the amazing sport. There's someone walking their dog in the field behind this, which is like I thought someone's garden. He can't see me really, I can just see him and his dog. So I just have to get down towards this, the marker for the footpath across Hertfordshire. We'll have to do a bit more sceptitious.

Sadly on this decline, for some reason, there's a few bits. I mean, there's plenty of stones here, but they're all little ones and it becomes difficult to carry too much. I've just picked up two possible siblings. So don't drop one, but remember you have to pick that up. That's the rules. There are no rules, but that is one of the rules. So you don't get too many. This is one of my earliest cans, but it's still one of the smallest ones. Not only do I not always pass through here.

Just the quality of stones around here is not so great. I'm going to pick up a few more small ones, but the thing is, you can only carry so many small ones. That's why I prefer as I cross the fields to go for the bigger ones. It's not glory hunting Andy McCage. I know that's what you think. All stones are coming off anything bigger than a grain of sand that is not made of soil will be coming off this field. Don't you worry about that, my fine fellow. So again, I've got a wolfies track that one.

Wolfie enjoying the game here as I kick one. I mean, it's not even the size of a chicken egg, this one. It's certainly not the shape of it. If anyone compared that to a chicken egg, you'd say they were insane. Wolfie's trying to get it, but it's going on. Hopefully the next kicker and I made one more kick. Oh no, Wolfie's kicked it. Wolfie nearly got on the path.

He's starting to understand. You look at her little face. Right, so traditionally that's the little part of the walk where I get a little bit more philosophical. But I don't know, maybe wrapped with not guilt exactly, but just worry that I've done something wrong. Oh, nice find. Oh, really good find. Really good find, very close to the fun. The bit that a lot of you enjoy where I try to throw a stone against a marker footmark.

I missed that one. It's gone next door. Oh, that hit the fence. This has got it. It's so big. Yep, you've heard it. That's one of the biggest stones it's gone down. And then actually a nice little pile developing at the bottom there, thanks to that support.

One out of three isn't bad. Just kicking a tibler off the path into the grass. That's not going to trouble anyone again. So that's, you know, this has been an enjoyable first return to the field in 2019. As I say, yesterday I didn't have the dog in the morning, so I didn't come out with the dog. I did go out in the evening, but not around the field because part of me just slightly worried about my mental health. So I don't do all of my just slightly and not re-end through the stones. So sometimes I just do walk elsewhere.

I'm also on a diet, which again, this is a helpful bit of exercise. 45 minutes of quite slow walking with the bending, the throwing, stretching. It all adds up. You think after so many months of this, I would be like Arnold Schwarzenegger, the amount of stones I've moved around. But you also have to stop eating chocolate and beer and bread, which is something I'm also planning to do. Actually started in the morning. And now maybe that's for help. I started the morning with steak and egg and 300 grams stir fry, trying to eat a kilo of vegetables a day.

And a diet is important. I think certainly a lot of my sluggishness in stone clearing has been about just not eating the right thing. And just, I mean, I picked up one tiny stone that whole walk that we've been having. So do look after yourself. Do see a nutrition list. When you're not stone clearing, maybe try to get some other exercise in. Oh, there's a dog right here. Whoopie.

Whoopie. Whoopie. Come here. Whoopie. They're all being friendly. It's okay. Oh, they're off. Whoopie.

Whoopie. Sorry. Good girl. Come on. That's an action. Distressed dog. Whoopie. Can't you read?

Sorry, I didn't see you coming to the last minute. All right, happy new year. Yeah, that was, oh, and now there's a, there's actually a stone on saying happy new year on the top of here. It's the other side of the happy Christmas one. That's nice, isn't it? I think they're going to take that stone away with them. I hope so. It does not belong on that pile.

That is the main can. Nearly caught. Just bending down to pick up a stone. I've just added one to the main can. Oh, a little, a little rock slide there as well. Yeah, that dog was an anxious dog and had a, had a tabard saying so. I mean, no, no, I want, I know, like, just coincidentally, the last couple of podcasts, we've met some dogs with issues and illnesses. I want to know that not all dogs in Hertfordshire are like that.

Not there's anything wrong with the dog that's anxious or a dog without Alzheimer's disease. I'm not mocking that. I'm just saying that we've seen the disproportionate number of the, of the disadvantaged dogs in Hertfordshire. And I'm glad that they are well looked after and I'm glad that they are well loved, but most of the dogs are fine. Now, just don't worry that there's a lot of mental dogs around here because there aren't. And certainly aren't crazy people. But yeah, so, you know, a little bit worried about my mental health. So sometimes, because again, you don't have to come out stone clearing 18 hours a day, like sometimes I have.

That's crazy. You just have to do, in this day and age, it's not the same as it was for the guys who this was their vocation. You can, you can drink a bit if you want, just not before you come out. You can eat some chocolate bread if you want. I would advise you not to try to be like me, try and be sort of super fit. And good, we've got like one little incident there. And it's good that it was a dog weighing a tabard saying what it is. Disappointed and woofy not understanding the English language enough to leave that dog alone.

There was just a little woof woof. It wasn't too bad. Certainly not on a par with the guy who told me to pull my dog back and blah, blah, blah. What we missed in the podcast, but was one of the most exciting things that's happened to me having this field. So not much going on here. This is again, as this walk down to the, as we come down the field, there's a few tiddlers here. I'm just going to take out just so that we feel we've done something. Stick these on.

There are some big ones around here. That's the thing. There's not many stones, but sometimes you find some whoppers. And that can I'm putting on there has a couple of absolute whoppers on there. Um, yeah. So just enough looking out, just looking for stones and looking all the weird, furry stuff that's on this field. So, um, I do, I have a slight thing where there's the bit that I throw stones into a ditch to try and fill the ditch. And if I don't do that every time I pass, at least with one stone, um, I feel something terrible will happen to the world.

And that's when it starts to get dangerous in it. That's when you start to create these religions. Uh, luckily there is a religion based on this and the stone gods are real. So I don't have to worry so much about that, but at least the stones are gone in today. Even though there aren't many stones around here. Is that a stone, massive stone? No, it's a massive furry poo. There's another furry poo.

Just see if I can pick up another couple of little stones to go onto the main can as we leave the field. So yeah, I mean, it's not, there's been a little bit of incident, a little bit of fun today. I wanted it to be a relaxed one. I hope you've enjoyed. I know some of you, for some reason, uh, you used this to get to sleep. I mean, you won't be listening by this stage if you do. Um, but you know, this is, this is what stone clearing really is. I think that I'm trying to let you realize that gradually.

I hooked you in with some of the excitement and, uh, now hopefully you're here for good. Oh, it's a lovely big one on top of that. I don't remember putting that one there. Beautiful color. Um, pink hues beneath the brown. Uh, but of course what the stones are and what they look like is not important. It's just the important that they're off the field. So as we head back to the house, um, the first, uh, stone clear of this new year, as I said,

I took the day off on the first of January. You make your own hours of this job. So then you make your own rules. That's one of the rules is you make your own rules. Someone should write these rules down because it's quite important that the main rule is there is no rules and make your own rules, mustn't throw stones, mustn't be drunk. There's another one I thought of. I'll think of it by the next podcast, I'm sure.

Uh, but there are no rules and you make your own rules. No drinking or throwing stones at animals or people. Um, you know, heading back down to the high street, uh, bin days we've been messed up. I mean, by the bank cold days. I think it's tomorrow. Uh, I've got a lot of stuff. I was seeing Christmas coming. But anyway, this isn't a bin podcast.

I probably will do a bin podcast at some point. So I hope you enjoyed today's podcast. I hope that was useful to you. Hopefully you just picked up a few tips along the way, even though I wasn't really, I was sensibly trying to give you tips. Um, yeah, well, I think we'll just leave it there. It's lovely to talk to you. Um, sorry about that.

I hope anyone who's anxious about anxious dogs, there was no trigger warning, obviously, about that coming. So I hope I haven't increased the anxiety of people who suffer from anxiety about anxious dogs. Uh, the dog was fine. Uh, Wolfie is a playful, but benign creature. Uh, we're just about to give her a breakfast a bit late. She might be eating that dog to be fair. So, uh, back through the old wooden gate, back to my normal life,

where nobody knows what I'm doing and never will know. And my wife did somewhere merrily writing a children's book, thinking she's married to a normal man, but she isn't. She's married to an extraordinary man. Enjoy your same clearing. Bye. You have been listening to Stone Clearing with Richard Herring and Wolfie the Dog,

also featuring an anxious dog today, hope it'll be okay. Um, your dog's anxious, but a little best on him, is what I say. The music is by Mike Cosgrave. Thank you to the Mystery Voice at the beginning. Ooh, who was it? I'm sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.