Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 74

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

Chapter Seventy Four - King Pofeidon'f Trident. It's just after 5pm on 1st September 2020 and Richard's mood is calmed by the beauty of a late summer sun. He makes an astonishing archaeological discovery early on, but it's not a stone so who cares. The stone bowling alley sees some fine bowls and a Ftone Ftafi member prevents access to the stone pole. Plus Rich reluctantly discusses his charity work. Thanks for making the Kickstarter work. Check out live stone clearing on Twitch: http://twitch.tv/rkherring

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring What are you doing? There's a response from you You got it? Alright we'll be leaving Come on then girl, good girl Good girl Hi, you alright?

Good girl Wolfie Hello my fine friends and welcome to another edition Further chapter, we're in our 70s I think this might be 74 I think I said that last time I've stone cleared Richard Herring It's an evening clear

and I watch and I'm working on that five minutes past five on the 1st of September Let's see if the plough she has been Well not the plough, the harvester whatever the combine harvester she has been We've taken out the terrible crop that has impeded our stone clearing for so long

The great news is if you contributed to the Kickstarter that we hit our target unbelievably and so all those rewards will be sent out which is the only way to get them you could now be a member of the Stone Clearing Guild Membership is not open for another 100 years and those rewards will come out as they're ready I'm sure by Christmas

I haven't yet written my 16 page guide to stone clearing which I was hoping I wouldn't have to Oh I'm here now on the station and nothing has happened the crops are still here the weeds are still high it's actually hard to find a stone to put on

the alphanoma you can not because I've been particularly efficient just because the stones are hidden but I've done it there's your first job Stone Cleaver dressed in swimming chunks today just a thumb and nose

nose and thumb whichever it is Odds of Autumn it's a lovely summery late summer evening the sun is shining and some clouds in the sky but all is at peace

so far no wolfie attacking any dogs there will be a video stone clearing this week at some point oh wolfies are just clearing a very small stone there off the path I hope the farmer doesn't forget that he needs to take these crops away

I want to use that for them for much longer oh what's this I found something oh wow that's pretty good I might have to get a photo of that I've found the Trident of King Neptune once had four spikes

but one of them's gone on I'm literally going to take a photo of it because it's so cool to think that's been there all this time I'm not sure it's metal but it still has to go not officially a stone what and how long it's been out there for

well let's hope it goes into the edge of the field a four pronged fork not a huge one I don't kind of imagine it was used to on the field so there's huge fields at any point

but I may have just thrown out some of his garden I think that's got to be a good sign Poseidon the guard of the Stotion giving me a sign that all is well I'm not sure if I need to collect any more

which is finger and which is sticks from this field or whether we've got enough I thought I just saw one of them but it was quite well buried I don't have my trowel with me that's the issue when you are just wearing your chunks no pants

just swimming chunks it's simple actually I'm I look I'm all in black and white stripes I look ridiculous and I look at myself for the first time today

lockdown's got me to some bad habits I've not caring about how I look all good habits because our physical appearance does not matter when we're clearing stones or indeed at any point it's what we're like inside the counts

as my daughter pointed out when we said she had too much to catch up all over her face at her this week she said mummy it's what's inside the counts and she had a point she turned her own words against us

and that is just the beginning of the rebellion so yeah lovely warm day I've been inside all day catching up on bits of work while I laugh at little work this is my real work the dog has just returned to us

from a weekend away long weekend away with him so there was no dog walk this morning butterflies are scutting over the leaves of these beetroots and the peace has descended over Hertfordshire it's hard to believe

that there's strife anywhere in the world when you're out here a life on the Stocean Wave gathering up tridents and you know some people say there's too much talk in this podcast I tend to agree with them

so we might have some moments of quiet reflection just for you to think about what stones mean to you just take a moment I'm picking up a stony take a moment to think of

your favourite stone picture it in your mind if you can if you haven't got that fantasia like me otherwise just try and draw a picture of it and look at it

it'd be difficult you can't imagine being I don't know if I've mentioned that on this podcast before about my inability to imagine I'm sure I have been mentioning it a lot but

I can sort of see things but not as images it's difficult to explain to you norms what it is lovely smell of moon grass they're all peeking smell it

the mower in the distance this is just like an iddle it's beautiful I've got my sunglasses now walking directly into the sun I mean, you know towards the sun

I'm not that actually physically entering the sun I would have blown it up quite some time ago if I was near it in that near I'm tiny which is, I don't know

which is thick there I'm throwing it back until it grows a bit bigger well, I'm just throwing it back I'm throwing it off the field so it's unlikely to be found another shortage stone today, sorry about that

my friends it's quality knot lengths there that's what I've been telling my wife for a while when she complains about the length of her fingers

they're very long anyway it's like cutting my finger not from the stones that's giving me a bit of gyp out here as I pick up stones tossed them cannily these one came to the roots

of the trees slim pickings unless I'm prepared to transgress the boundary of the farmer and kick down his crop but I will wait for him

to do that himself soon enough everything here will have turned to mulch or pieces and disappear the lifespan of a beet is a tragic one

when compared to a long lifespan for the human it grows it thinks here I am then bang someone gets it

leaves on their plate gets thrown a bin and that's actually the nicest thing that can happen to it of course the stones look back at us all enough at me

thinking that the beet troop the sugar beet has a short lifespan how many eons have I been here how many eons have lived and died while I've been here

that's what the stones are saying right nice clear onto the cane across from the main cane a plane sending into Luton from the distance just tossing

a couple of least bits of shrapnel off the pile off the field and they're all successfully going off I'm only about ten feet away it'll be a poor throw if I missed it

no one around at the moment no dog fights to cope with if you saw last week's video diary a little bit further to throw now and that one has not gone off the field

that one has the comfortably little ones but they all count a little small medium there and that one has just I think bounced off the field so that's

good news to where every time I come here that was a good bulb that one right down the bowling alley and you've got it right to the end I'm aware every time I come here

that this could be the last time before a farm machine comes and damages this stuff pulls it up there is it for the following stones this may be the last chance

to be gathered for months if not years so responsibility when I take seriously that I am walking past a lot of stones even though it's empty horse has been crossed here

recently I can see the horse tracks the hooves in the mud was there a baby on that horse? I guess we'll never know I really wanted a baby on a horse badge but we could only go down

to five in the end just for cost purposes and the moorlock had it congratulations if you backed at that level so if you get all five of them you've got a beautiful

collectible tree there for you that can only gain in value just plucking medium small from the ground and there's another stone

just sitting up like a begging dog saying which take me and I have them clean cleaned by the rains sitting on top of the field

ready to go if I have my trowel I'll be digging up a few of these guys from the path but they're well trodden in some huge ones here

they'll come eventually they will all come like Jesus I will leave none behind that want to come with me or there's one crossing the field and I'm not a traditional path

I would say over there I think I'll get to my main cane ahead of them but I'll just pick up to play face a little bit pick up a couple more stones just get out to the main cane

Casey turns this way he's very near the stone pole actually it's so some distance away I'm just at the main cane that's the stone in my wellingtons flipping, plopping in the background there and I'm sockless

and Nicholas and sockless Nicholas sockless MP that's who I am today got four not a few stones done that guy is coming this way doesn't seem like a dog

come on Wolfs Quick Pick he hasn't defeated me that's the closest the stone stars have come to me today I think it's not close enough come on we're heading down towards the Brexit bitch

then off the field and on to a brand new day tomorrow there will be more stone clearing ugh plus I have to go to St Albans to get my tyres changed on my car

had to go quite a long way because someone's taken the wheel not removed the thing out of the back of my car or it was never there got a second hand might not have been put back in

and I have to get that replaced so I still have earthly concerns just like you as well as this heaven that I'm in now literally I could have died I wouldn't be surprised if I got home now and said

sorry you can't come in you're dead I would not gasp and go what I would say yes that makes sense nothing could be perfect it's this afternoon now the stone clearing was coming up behind me

seems to have given up the ghost or at least be going too slow to catch me I'm coming up to the Brexit bitch the bitch that welcomed migrants and the ditch that got done it coming back of course may he rest in peace

oh and actually I can see the stone stars in emby's they've heard it the wrong way tricked him with my speed a couple of my stones from the Brexit bitch to have faith

keep killing the stones in Brexit will not happen you have to believe and a tiny bit of which which is dick there I'll put on the alpha along with another little stone and that's me done for the day

probably 12 stones off the field there and he didn't count a few a bit closer to being off the field maybe 20 it's good days work for a stone clipper do remember to follow me on

twitch to get notifications when I might be being a surprise stone player you don't want to miss that unless you feel the video aspect is an aberration to our lords which it is twitch.tv.okherring

the bad news is there will be another kickstarter starting soon but it's the flag hags no sorry you're the flag hags I got confused for the ball bags

the poor stinking ball bags I'm self playing snooker which we're not interested in though the money from this one the profit is going to go to help comedy clubs carry on with the work and exist throughout the pandemic

so it would be lovely if you felt like then I think there's a donkey t-shirt that you can get without any of the snooker power if you wish so that will start I think on Friday this week

we'll have a split.co.uk so kickstarter same address as the last one but if you've given already please do not feel you have to give again unless you can afford to you think it's a good cause

a few emails coming in Richard this is from just reading my name here brown bin car brown bin there's probably I'll derivate some police from wrong wind

something like that brown bin for things a woman Richard do so much work for charity but it's so good of you considering your stone clearing is free too

how do you do it all the stuff you're amazing I don't know I guess I guess I'm just a special kind of person will be I guess that's all I can say about myself

that's why I can't believe that I've gone to heaven because I'm so good that's why I wouldn't have found that difficult to believe but I'm just getting home now to see if I have anything to say now the gate hopefully

has been mended in my face go Wolfie I'm going to put the bins out it's bin day tomorrow because of the bank holiday a bit of room left for some more rubbish if you need it

let's get the food bin out here as well Wolfie okay well you don't have to hit me putting the bins out that's not what you've paid your Kickstarter money for thanks for the bin I forgot my selling

brown bin car wasn't it had Jimmy come I like a Harlequin out here my kids at the table having there to top us I'm going to bid you a gentleman here

it's a quick, quick podcast but sir I think we've had a lot in thanks to brown bin car for that I don't like to go on a regular charity work

but if it's seen last okay see you soon twitch.tv such like a hearing thanks for listening listening to The Tones my friends can they for helping hear Mary dance

don't listen to the bird fan-tree don't listen to your underpants listen to The Tones listen to The Tones and they in turn

I'll listen to you my friend my fine friend Stoneclimb with Rich Tarringstar me, Rich Tarring and Wolfie the Dog and that one stonestar

as he bloke in the distance my neighbour said hello to at the beginning and a wasp being eaten by my dog I hope you enjoyed that start the music is arranged by Mike Coffgrave

the voice of The Tones music listen to The Tones my friend and they for helping hear Mary dance don't listen to the bird

fan-tree don't listen to your underpants listen to The Tones listen to The Tones and they in turn I'll listen to you

my friend my fine friend