Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 83

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

Chapter 83 - Mud - It's 7.30am on 10th November 2020 and finally the beets are all harvested, but there are enough left lying on the ground to provide someone with a fine broken beet business. Today's episode is sponsored by HebTroCo - check em out https://hebtro.co/. Ftone Chriftmaf has not been as fecund as Ftone Eafter but there are fome rich feams nonetheleff. There's another surprise celebrity email, but hardly anything else of worth. Support Rich at Movember http://rhlstp.co.uk/movember or use your Amazon Prime sub (all November subs will go to Movember too)

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Hello, it's the 10th of November 2020 at 7.32pm. It's nice and early, welcome to chapter, I want to say 83 of Stone Clearing with Richard Herring this week. The cast will go by before we mention the sponsor. This week, sponsored by Hebb Troco. We make brilliant jeans and shirts and other stuff right here in the UK. I don't know what I'm saying, that North Face hasn't paid me anything and these guys have. Grant Richards, thank you very much. Hebb Troco, it's H-E-B-T-R-O-C-O.

So Hebb Troco, I guess Co stands for company. I don't know what the rest of it stands for. Brilliant jeans and shirts and other stuff. They're even better than North Face, but I'm only saying that because they've paid me £250. So the ball is in your cart, caught you in North Face. We're going up Duckett's Passage. Thank you, Hebb Troco. For your kindness.

We're heading up to the station. We're in Duckett's Passage right now. And the big news I think isn't that the whole field has now been harvested and plowed. The weeds have nearly gone actually around the edge. A few stragglers holding on. But my goodness, it's a different looking field today. I might just need to take a photo of this for the evidence just to show you guys what we're dealing with. Look at that Wolfie.

Wolfie's in the picture, it's beautiful. We still can't know. We're still going. Hello, hello, hello. There ought to be nothing. I'm hoping we're all good here and it's all going. Just double check something. Sorry to waste your time here, kids.

Right, let's have a little wander out into this. Oh, look at this. That's a beat, but there's some good stones here. That one's gone onto the can. Oh, well, what a beautiful situation to be in. It's a bit muddy out here still, but I can hassle off to my heart's content. What I have to do is find the stones amongst the beats are still in that position. Everything chunked up.

It's definitely not like stone Easter. It's not as Christmasy as I imagined. That's a beat. That's a stone, right? Yeah, that's a stone. It's all happening out here. That's a stone. That's a nice one. So there are some big babies.

No, it's not as big as what it was, but every stone is equal. There's a good stone. We're back. We're back after months and months of just pooting around on the edge of the field, taking off tiny little stones. Now there's muddy stones, but there's lots of them. Stretching out as far as the eye can see. I tell you, if you want to sell some beats but don't want to go to the problem and trouble of growing them,

I would just hang around by a beat field and then pick up the excess beats, wash them down a bit, flog them off. That'd be my, I don't want to do that. I'm too busy to do that. I'll take it to Dragon's Den. Three beats, loads of them out here. They're a little bit chopped up, you know. You can sell them as chopped up beats like you get broken Brazil nuts.

Thank you sometimes. No one would be any the wiser and you could make probably 50 pounds. That's my guess. Oh my lord. What a world. I'm not going to hassle off because everything I'm seeing out far away could be a beat rather than a stone. So I'm just slightly more out of the edge. Do you want to come off the leader wolves?

You can get it up here, there's nothing around. Come here. There you go sweetie. Is that a stone or is that a beat wolf? It's a stone, is it? No, it's a beat. It's off the field now, you know, whichever it is. It's a bit light.

I mean, I hope for your sake that this doesn't carry on for too long. You don't want to hear a man saying is that a stone or is that a beat? The rest, where are you going Wolfie? Wolfie! I think she's enjoying the fact that the version in Swanson again is brown. There's a berry. I don't know what berry is that brown.

It's just soil and stone and occasional bits of organic material. It's looking good. It's a relief. It's a beautiful relief to be out here. Hebchoco, thank you Hebchoco for your fabulous support. What is that? That's got green coming off it. That's definitely not a stone.

I'm just walking past things that might be stones. Wolfie, where are you? Good girl. She's doing a bit of her time. So I'm going to mention on Sunday brunch this week. I don't know if you saw that. Somehow they weedled it out of me. It's a dangerous behaviour of me to mention it on national TV.

But luckily it was only Sunday brunch. So I don't think... That probably is the stone star's favourite show. Damn. But we didn't say where I was clearing stones. Or how? Or why? I'm sockless today by the way.

I'm wearing wellies with no socks. Just put my wellies on. There's a bit of residual soil in the bottom of one of the boots. It's slightly irritating. And on a bit of a health kick at the moment. I mean, even if you've just been following me by something, you'll know that I do that

permanently. It's a little, or no effect. Or... It's a bit of a risk. It's a risk. It's a little, or no effect. Or occasional short-term effect. I've lost

a kilo and a half since the beginning. Three pounds since the beginning of the month. Which is not too bad. You would think stone-claring yourself would be enough to keep you fit. But,

packing a lot of carbs in order to be able to do this rigorous work. Oh, and we're in a really boggy bit in the corner of the field here. Can you get through these wolves? Oh, it's like a World War I battlefield out here in more ways than one.

I'm actually kind of making you think of one way. It's like that. It's very muddy. In farming, machinery's done a donut there. There's an actual donut in the soil. I mean, you know, not an actual donut, but the shape of a donut. Clear the stone there.

For those of you counting, do keep counting how many stones are going off. They'll give you an idea of what kind of level of stone-claring you will achieve when you're professional. You'll probably clear one or two every trip.

But you can see I've already cleared five or six in this one. Clear. Oh, sorry. Just had my breakfast. And this is a remember in the confusing landscape of a beach-streamed field. What's the time?

It's slow work through this mud. Good exercise though. So I've given up drinking this month. Stop the member, I'm calling it. Maybe through to Christmas, we'll see how we go. And it's important to be sharp. Although all stone-clarers do like to meet up after a stone-claring

and drink a yard of ale. Traditionally, the modern day stone-claring has to be more professional than that. It's not about the boozing. Well, let's take a trip across the field. I don't think I've got time to do the full field today. I'm slightly worried that this isn't even recording.

And I've done the next field too. A lot of beets have come up this week. We're heading across. Wolfs are heading across. And all those stones that I saw in this path a week or two ago are now probably buried.

But new ones have arrived. Here's one. I can chuck that on to the can across from the main can. There it goes. Probably hit the thud as that hit the ground. I'm going to try and get it out. There it goes. Probably hit the thud as that hit the ground.

That's a beet. It's like God has done an almighty shit on this field. And that's what it looks like. Well, that was a good throw. Got a stone from

I'd say 30 feet. Bounced one bounce into the undergrowth. That's off the field. That probably until a few days ago it was buried deep beneath the ground. And now look at it off the field. I bet it can't believe it's luck.

There's a mud stone. Now, I think too far away to throw this all away. No stones, Darcy. We'll be chasing it. It's gone close, but not. It fell into the thick mud and did not bounce. That's for another day.

Try to remember the location of the stones you've thrown. Very difficult when the whole field is just soil. Still possible. It is a devastating thing to see this field churned up.

And unlike Easter it's not churned up with stones littering this landscape. The stones are disguised as beats. The beats are disguised as stones. The stones look like soil. It's stone critical.

It's most challenging. But at its most rewarding. It's a cloudy day today. Not too cold. The North Face jacket is open, but necessary if I was wearing heptroco jeans.

Now, they would be providing me with just the right level of comfort and warmth and resilience that are required for a job like this. If I'm not sure, please do go and have a look at their website. We have to prove to sponsors that this is

worth doing. Some people say but Rich, there's only like hundreds of people listening. But they are committed. These people are committed and they're looking for jeans to wear while they're stoned.

And I'm actually found a lovely feckin' piece of stone that's lying on top of three. Two of them are definitely medium mediums. One's a little smaller.

But there is a plethora of stones here. This is always a good patch. Is that a stone or is that a big lump of soil? Oh, that's a beauty. I've got to take that one. That's the biggest stone I've cleared for a while. Dropped my other stones in excitement.

This might be it for this. That's slippery. Try to get away. Oh, one of them's got away. I hope no one comes now because I don't want to drop these. I've got dirt on my snooker shirt. Oh, yeah, I'm glad I came this way. This is like a gold mine.

I can't even go anywhere near picking all these up. But this is where the biggest stones reside on my field. This is why this original can began, I think. Just because because

Michael would pass through here and see a big stone pick one up. One at a time, Michael. He was very patient. Not driven. There were times when I started where I'd come across with a bag for life

across here and fill it to the brim with stones. You know, one of the hardly bag for life, not one of the plastic ones. It felt like cheating, but look at the results. Check your stone clearing manual. You've got one to see

how a body in this can looks. I'm going to put the big one right on the centre. Oh, it's actually rolled off. There's a stone starsy just in the distance. I don't know if they're coming this way. Might stop me going in a stone pole, but there are a couple of

beauties here I've spotted. I'd like to get off. Oh, that's a beat. Oh, that's a beat. Oh, my God. That's not... That's not... They're all beats.

That one is a stone. That's a stone. Damn, that's a beat. Right, it's not as good as I thought, but all the ones I've got are for where stones. We're going to head down the hill and head home. No stone pole today. Sir, I think

the pools pan have called it two out of five. So do remember to use your Amazon Prime subscription this month right now if you can to ward off the bad luck. And all that money we'll be going to November.

If you're enjoying this stream and would just like to pay some money you can go to November as well. If you like, Rehealestuffer.co.uk slash Movember, that's like November, but with a little muh instead of a capital muh. Down the hill we come. I have to take my son to nursery today.

So we can't dick around too much. So disappointed that every single one of those boulders I thought it's all there were. Every one of them was a beat. That just seems statistically

impossible. Coming up to the ditch and stop Brexit needs to work so hard right now. We're heading to Cliff Face. We really need this ditch to do its job. Stop Brexit happening. Otherwise

the United Kingdom is in a lot of trouble. One won't affect me and all the stones. But it might affect you and your family and the future prosperity of our country. But at least some very rich people will get slightly richer and that's

pretty good until they realize there's no way to spend the money because everything's broken. Very little medieval wit so far this. Podcast no rules. No stone stars. It's been a disappointing podcast

in many ways. And actually we've been followed right behind by a couple of stone sizes. I can literally just get one of these in the Brexit ditch. Come here. One at the descent to see me because I'm filthy

and covered those dirty stones across the field. That's a beat but I'm going to kick it off the field anyway. I think you can get rid of the beats because they are confusing so if you get them off then at least in the future you'll know what's

the stone and what's not. I'd say that's been a disappointing clear though. Even with that back and the patch in the middle there passing the cannabis plant and now again it's just survived the coal well done. Time for some emails.

The Les Grey from mud has been in touch. It's good to be getting some celebrities emailing in. That shows the I'm not selecting the celebrities particularly it's just probably

one every two emails happens to be from a celebrity. I'm just saying what I was coming up first. Les Grey I haven't seen them around for a while but it's good to see that he's still taking an interest with the stone clearly. The band of course named because

they were all stone clues in an ironic fashion. It's always mud isn't it? There's always mud. When you're looking for stones there's always mud. This is all in Les and C-Melt I'm just paraphrasing. I rich Les with Grey from mud here My brother wasn't tagging up you're thinking

of Brian Connolly from Street. I was. Thanks for correcting me I was thinking the wrong one but both of us were very handsome fellas in a prime both of us less handsome now but that's the aging process. Some people think I died Rich but

I actually replaced all of my bones and flesh with stones and I'm living on as a stone man and so I'm very interested in your podcast. How's your quest to become a living entity made of stone going?

Well Les I didn't know that the technology had got that far that someone could actually survive beyond their physical death so thank you for emailing it. There are quite a few spawning mistakes in this but I guess if you've got stones for fingers it's hard to detect especially on a phone

So far and not very far I think I might replace some hips with some metal at some point but so far none of me is stone so I'm very envious of you Les Grey from mud. Let me know

Brian Connolly is also made of stone He was my favourite, no offence I can't see him. Alright we're back home with my wife in the kitchen so we're going to have to pull this one apart very quickly so thanks very much again to

my wonderful sponsors I just want to make sure I get their name exactly right but I've lost this paper I don't say I've dropped a piece of paper that would be embarrassing if someone finds that on the field What do you know who you are? This is my wife. She's letting me in I've got to go. Goodbye

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H&M H&M H&M H&M Don't listen to the birth and truth. Don't listen to your underhand. Listen to the throne, listen to the throne, and they in turn fall liven to ye, my friend, my fine friend.