Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 89

Episode Date: January 7, 2021

Chapter 89 - Frofti Graf. It's 8.05am on 7th January 2021 and it's the first recorded clear of a New Year, though the ftones laugh at the paffage of a year, which is but the blink of an eye to them. The world descends into chaos, but the ftocean remains constant and calm with everything slowly being put in its correct place. Some are calling Herring mad, but perhaps he is the only fane man on the planet. The stones certainly tell him that he is. The cold earth grips her stones tight. But Herring prises them away and the stones thank him. Literally. Let he who has ears underftand.

Stone Clearing with Richard Herring What a Heaver! Someone moves good girl. Wait there for me. Good girl. You are a good girl. Don't let anyone tell you difference. Someone moves good girl. Come here. Just sit still you stupid thing.

Garden, heaven. There we go. Are you alright now, my little lovely? Come here. Whoops, wait wait wait. There we go. Right, here we go. Two, three, four. Ah, what is it? Ah, is it chapter 90 or chapter 89?

Look at the description of the show and you'll find out. All I can tell you is it is, I don't know which day it is, the 7th of Thursday. It's just gone 8 o'clock, 8.05. I have to be home in 40 minutes so it's not going to be the long walk around excuse me, just a bit of breakfast. Making its way up again there in air form. Here we are on the station.

It's coldish day. It's grey. Ah. Wolfie's doing a wee. Come here, we'll sell it off. Come on. Come here, my beautiful girl. Come here, good girl. Who's my beautiful girl?

There we go. Right out for a number of care and must be fed. Oh. Oh dear dear dear. It's going to be a tough day. The stones are frozen into the ground. Just used my trusty, ah, walked in a poo. That's good to see.

Just using my trusty, ah, chow. Get one out for the alphanoma again. Better pick that poo up, Wolfie, what do you think? Hope you're well, happy new year. Ah. Ah. It's going to find the poo in first. It should be, obviously, would think.

If I can't find it, I don't have to deal with it. Ah, there it is. It should be steaming, shouldn't it? It should be spotted by the steam, but my dog does extremely cold excellent. That's going in the pocket. Don't forget, it's in the pocket, kids. Don't let me forget.

I am wearing gloves today, thick gloves, which might not be practical. Oh, that's coming up alright, that's okay. As we wind our way round. Oh. Ah. And stone clearing fans have stormed Congress to try and make America

start to clear stones, what's important out here, but I'm not sure Congress is going to listen. They've never listened before. I'm looking out over the Stocean. There are some big lumps out there, but I can't trust that they're stones. Just yet, a wood pigeon coos in the distance. A lot of beets here still.

Well, what a time to be alive, isn't it, kids? What a time to be alive. But however disruptive and hectic the world is out here on the field, out here on the Stocean wave, everything is calm and always the same, except that time there was a big fire, remember? That was weird. We'll carry on through revolution,

through insurrection, through nutters, believing another nutter who doesn't want to accept he's lost anything. Hello to my American listeners. Sorry, listener. Hope you're okay out there. Stay safe. It'll be over here soon, don't worry.

It'll make its way over here soon. Oh my God! Stones clinging to the earth through the magic of water that has solidified into frosted ice. It's a beautiful thing to witness. Come on, Wolfs. What are you doing? Do you know the poo?

You're joking me. No, there's nothing there, is there? You tried and there's nothing there. The other one was big enough, some. Oh, shit. Kicked that one a bit hard. Flew up, hit the fence. There's something.

Is that a stone or is that a beet? No, it's a beet. I thought I'd found something pretty amazing. Not here, but sadly not. But I'm hassle-hopping out. It sent me on a journey out into the field. It's a real effort. You need to be strong for this job.

And these are just the stones on top of the soil. Just pulling them off. They ping out like rotten teeth. You need to give them a little hole first to get them out. And just surveying the scene, trying to work out what's organic and I need to panic and what's not chuck-the-tot. Don't forget that. Be patient.

Don't be complacent. All these things I haven't said for a while, worth reiterating. There shouldn't be any new listeners. Because, you know, who would start listening now, but also you should be listening from the start. Oh, Frost did. Look at that. Can you hear the cracking of ice under my feet?

Wolfie spotted a bird. She's given up the chase. A little wharfie just ran into the bleed. Did you hear that little thunk? So, 2021. Of course, within the stones a year for the stones is just a blink of an eye to them. 2020 and 2021 is the same to us.

Of course, we know it's a very, very different time. The awful 2020 is past the delightful, wonderful 2021. Oh, look, we've got five, six good days before things started going really wrong. Oh, no, hold on. Second, third, second. Two days before things are going really wrong. Oh, no. We're getting that baby out.

Well, I'm determined. This is a nice one I'm going to use to trowel. Oh, and there it comes. Oh, it's a beauty. A bit of weird green soil around it. I don't know what that is, but sort of that will wash away with the rain. It's stinking down here. Fetid, stinking, rotting crops.

And this will go on the cairn in the corner of the field. See, it's not even in the corner. That's how crazy I am when it comes to naming my cairns. I call them more cairn-curchable after the actor from Dallas. And I'm sure it's making 1% of you slightly laugh. Cairn-curchable, cairn-cairn-curchable. We're going to go across the field at the cairn, across the way from the main cairn.

And sorry, it's not a place for humor, and I apologize for that slit there. We should not be joking about stones. Let's joke about America and Trump, but those are insignificant things, but the stones are not fleeting. The stones are not just a news story. The stones are history. They're history, in fact.

They will be here for all way. Long after Donald Trump is forgotten, long after that bloke with a painted face in the horns has passed away, faded into dust. We will attempt a stone pole this time. Should be time. I did film a video live stream on the New Year's Eve. Unfortunately, lots of...

Unfortunately, the key kept breaking down, partly due to my clumsiness. Partway through the final stone pole of the year, four out of five, typically. Wooby! Where you going? Come here. Let's go across here.

You've got four out of five, but you only store it up to two out of four. Something like that. Two out of three. I won't give away. I promise you I've got four out of five. Look at that. Another extraction from the frozen jaws of the field. That one was just lying atop the field and was fine.

Not even a slight tug. Now, some people think wearing gloves is against the ethos of stone clearing. I'm glad I am wearing them today, though. Is that a stone or is that a beet? Oh, that's a beautiful stone. Wooh! Just barely gets to the end. Just barely gets to the edge of the field.

I've thrown it for a distance. But anyway, yes, it was the last chance for the ditch to stop Brexit to do its job. We didn't get that on film. And perhaps that's why it didn't work. Brexit seems to have occurred. All right, isn't it? Going fine. Makes no difference to the stones or geological and geographical boundaries.

We humans place upon them. They are a brotherhood of stones. At least the ground is firm beneath foot. I shouldn't be complaining about the cold. I'm not sludging around in mud. I'm skating atop the stotion. And I feel fine. Oh, I see a stone stars in the distance.

He's heading in the wrong direction. It's the Yoshi, just the dark figure. Supernaturally tall, actually looking at them. Probably 10 feet tall with a dog the size of a hippopotamus. Farming them a long way away. I'm pretty sure what I'm seeing, I can trust. A sweet corn kernel thrown into the field. I don't know who's been coming out here eating sweet corn.

But somebody has. Do a little snack. The moon is shining down on me, quarter moon. Smiling sideways in the sky. Up above the streets. The streets and the houses. The moon is shining high. Everybody can see it smiling back over the sky.

Paint the whole world with a moon. Taking off a few stones here as we recite that ancient hymn to the moon. Oh, that's a beauty. Look at that. Well, you can't, but you should. This is the, I mean, it's worth having a day where I've got to be quick because I have an arm full of stones here. Just make no stone stars.

They appear. I have to drop more and I'm leaving behind even more wonders. They can just manage one more. Smallish ones. These are all either medium or approaching medium. Cradle to like earth children in my arm. Oh, look what I'm passing. Can I get that one as well?

That's all. But do I risk dropping the lot to pick up this beauty? Just lying in the path. Check behind me. I'm not being observed from behind. Oh, I mean, I could spend all day out here just clearing this little bit of the field. But these are the bricks upon which my church foul be built. People have been laughing at my efforts, fools.

Seeing pictures of just part of the wall and going, oh, I thought you'd be further along after two and a bit years. But they will, I will, I felt half the laugh, laugh. And that one goes on to the main building of the camp, but I'm going to take the others around the corner. And this wall stretches for feet along here now. Oh, that was two stones there. That was just one.

It's just bit by bit. It's growing bit by bit. My kingdom shall be built. It's only 20 past eight. We have time for a stone pole for sure. So I'm heading that way and pick up some ammo along the way. Let's see if gloved hands will be better at throwing than bare hands. Ah!

There's some nice little stones here. Like David preparing to fight Goliath. I have my supply of stones ready. The Goliath is, this case is a small pole that is actually smaller than me, but the analogy still works. For it is stronger than I. It shall stay standing tall, well, not that tall, in its place long after I am gone,

if not this same one another one will be put up to replace the one I've damaged by chucking stones in it. It's all about knowing your place in time, understanding what other upheavals are coming to us. The earth shall survive until it sucked into the sun. I believe that's how it will work. In about 400 years time I believe, most astrophysics believe, physicists believe we sucked in.

Some of us will survive the people I guess on the side of the earth that isn't directly in the sun. We'll probably be able to have some kind of life. It'll be a bit hot. But the ones on the side that sucked into the sun, I'm afraid, that is game over 400 years time. If you're listening in 399 years time, get ready, it's coming. Right, Wolfie out of the way.

One out of one, bang right top of the pole. Wolfie out of the way. Wolfie just put me off there. One out of two, two out of three. Out of the way, Wolfie. Three out of four is going to be a good year. Can we make it a great year? Wolfie, out of the way.

It's going to be a great year, four out of five. What a start. Remember, become a badger, or subscribe on Amazon Prime right now. And that good luck will be intensified. I can promise you 2021 is going to be a lucky year for us all. All of us who do that. If you see anyone having a badger, you go,

oh, can I just ask you something? Did you not donate to Richard's Badgers or TwitchStream at that point? And I go, yeah, we didn't. I can almost guarantee that I'll tell you that. And you go, ah, you can say, ah, my poor fool. If thou not understand. And I say, no, we didn't. We didn't.

I don't understand what you're saying. And you go, yes. There are none so blind as those who cannot speak Anglo-Faxon. That's what you can say to them. They'll probably say, leave me alone at that point. And do leave me alone. They're not worthy of your time. Well, I've been doing this bit.

I've been clearing a few stones. Of course, he's checking their old stones. Oh, what? That moves. That's close. Luckily, he looped it over. That's a sheet. It doesn't seem to determine to get in the way of these stones.

So must it be shall. So must it be thou. Ah, my fine friends. And whatever madness is going on in the world, you can be sure the sanity of stone clearing. Sanity, I know. I've started talking English again. For those who, I don't want to have to translate everything.

The sanity shall remain out here. So don't worry. You can tune in weekly. I'll also be doing some lifestyle clears through lockdown when the time is right. You can trust me to bring you away from the craziness world into the set, the world where all is right. Everything is in its place.

And if it isn't in its place, it's being started to be put in its place by me moving the stones to their correct place. Let's have a look down here. It says we've been unencumbered by stone starsy today. Maybe still hung over from their New Year celebrations. I thought that was a stone that was a disgustingly rotten beak. I didn't take it up luckily. And you must come out in any weather, my friends.

Just because it's cold, just because the stones are frozen into place does not mean they do not want to be moved. They want to be moved. Listen to them. See if you can hear one. I can hear them constantly. To me, it's constant. Rich, please. Oh, thank you for picking me up. That's OK stone. Oh, it's such a relief after all this time.

Can I go on the main 10? Well, really, I'd like to put you a bit further down the wall. Please, Rich, I want to be one of the main ones. OK, we'll put you on the main one. Just because you are so nicely. Some big stone. You're not as big as those big stones at the top, when building a wall,

every stone half its place, every stone plays its part. From the tiniest crumb of dust to the biggest boulder, ye are all. Once the wall is built, ye are all. Apart of one thing, ye are all.

The fame of five. I'm not saying I'm chief of that is what other people say. But fuck, there's stuff that's just pouring out of me, the wisdom that is pouring out of me. If you want to get behind a cause, if you truly want to change the world, clean the sewer, you have to get out of here and get your hands in the sewer,

drain the swamp by putting stones in it. And I'm just cleaning a couple of nice, something that's small, mediums probably, small, large, possibly. They're just going out to line the fence as we walk down here towards the ditch that stopped Brexit.

But rich Brexit's happened, has it? I mean, yes it has, but will it continue forever? If it is ever stopped, it will be because you've carried on believing. If it isn't stopped, it's because your faith was weak. My faith has remained strong. I will continue feeding the ditch.

It got really dumb, it got really dumb. It comes, doesn't it? He said, no, Rich, he's still there. Oh, is he? Is he still there? It welcomed refugees, doesn't it? You say, Rich, no, they're not welcome, aren't they? Not yet, maybe.

But soon. But soon. But soon. Well, it's been a quick little jaunt today. It's a cold and frothy morning. I'll take a picture of some froth. Let's find a good bit of frozen stone for you for the picture that will accompany this podcast.

And we'll see frothy graph at the moment. Who's Steffi Graphs? He says, Steff, frothy, frothy graph. I think I might see an email from him. I'll just search through to see if there is an email from frothy graph. There's some frothy graph. That's some frothy graph. Yes, coincidentally, just found that frothy graph has been in touch.

Hi, Rich, it's me, frothy graph. I'm just Steffi Graph's sister. Sorry, sister. Sorry, my English is not so good. I think I'm from Germany, and I think that's where I'm from. Obviously, we have a name like frothy graph, which in German doesn't mean frosty grass, in the same way as it does in England.

But once I discovered that it did mean frosty grass in English, in Anglo-Saxon, I became obsessed with frosty grass. How do you cope with frosty grass? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. How do you cope with frosty grass? How do you cope with frosty grass when you're out stone clearing? Well, it's a good question, frothy graph. It doesn't really come into it too much,

because most of the field is just stone at the moment. The frost tends not to come at the same time as the crops. So most of the frosty graph is around the edge of the field. So just I ignore it mainly. Frosty stones, frothy photons. I mean, I know frothy is a popular name in Germany. You may know a frothy photon. If you do, let them take an email in next week.

Maybe they are more difficult to cope with. You have to pluck them, and you occasionally have to exert a little force with leverage to travel such instrument and implement. I mean, I've actually just covered this in this chapter. So it's slightly redundant that you're... If you'd emailed last week about this, it would have been perfect,

because I could have explained that and then not have to go over it all again this week. But so you've emailed just at the wrong time, just after I've discussed all of that. All right, we're coming up to home. I've got some dog shit in my pocket. I've got some dog shit in my pocket. And the other one's doing a peace sign.

I'm going to put that dog shit in the bin. It's bin day today. I know, what? Thursday? It's all the New Year schedule. We'll be back to normal soon. Foon. I think we may be back to stone clearing on a Tuesday soon, but everything's out of whack, isn't it?

It's home schooling. It's very tough for my wife. I've got those lovely keys in there with the dog too. Right, come on, wolves. Game over. Game over, my fan friends. Oh, look, we're in good time. No one can complain about us being out on the field too long.

Wolves. Apart from the people listening to Foon Clearing. Hope you enjoyed today. Movie, come on in. Good girl. Let's get you some lovely breakfast. Oh, yes, you're a good girl. Oh, you're a good girl.

Oh, you're a good girl. Oh, you're a good girl. Please be a good girl. Carry on being a good girl. Right, let's get you some breakfast. Turn the tape off now, so no one will hear this. And just my everyday life. Two cups of lovely donkey skin.

Listen to them. Listen to the stones, my friend. Let's get you some water, shall we? Should we get you some fresh water, Muffy? Oh, shall we? Let's get some of your dog hair on the water, on the water bowl. Oh, dear. Let's put that in the water bowl and then we'll come out and wash it.

Good girl. Oh. I'm glad no one can hear this, Muffy, because they think I was crazy talking to a dog. But I love you, sweetheart, so I'm going to talk to you. Because you're a good girl, but no one will ever know. And I'll talk to you. I'll let you talk back.

No, that's crazy. Maybe the stones can talk back. All right. Well, I suppose I better get on with my day. Yes. You're a good girl. I love you. Let's make love as we always do after a walk.

Oh, my God, this thing's still on. Oh, I don't know how to edit the stuff off. Oh, God. I hope no one, hopefully, people will want to stop listening when I said goodbye. Just have to rely on that phone, Muffy. Why are you making no money for these sounds? Do you want to say hello to people?

Say hello. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on.

Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on.

Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on.

Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Oh, God, this thing's still on. Don't, my friend, and they fowl thing ye a merry does. Don't listen to the birth and truth. Don't listen to your underhand. Listen to the throes.

Listen to the throes. And they in turn fowl the fern. To ye, my friend, my fine friend.