Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 95

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

Chapter Ninety-Five - Ye Borg Queen Doth Bifhop. It's 27th April 2021, around 8.30am and after the genuine trauma of the last chapter, Richard has licked his wounds and is back on the Ftocean trying t...o undo what was done to him. But who is the madman in this situation, the person throwing stones on to the field or the one throwing them off? Is it possible they are both as mad or sane as each other? These things are sent to test our faith in the stone gods, who really seem to be testing (and teste-ing him this year) and whatever the dangers, the work muft continue. There's always been danger in this, but now there is genuine danger. Richard has been doing this long enough now to be able to read nature's clock. What a lovely big clock nature hath?

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Stone Clearing with Richard Herring Come here, stop being a lunatic. What are you doing? You know I'm going to put this on. Come, there we are. Hold on, careful. Hello, it's 7.30am. It's, what is it, it's the Sunday in April. I haven't got the date. And this is Chapter 95, I think, of the Tone Clearing.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Well, no one could say that this podcast of a man walking around a field moving stones is not full of drama. It is full of drama, very good drama. It's the 27th of April. Just want to check my system recording, yes it is. Sorry, a bit of a... Yeah, the last chapter was a bit of a shocker, I think you'll agree. I've had some time to reflect on what I'm doing and decided to carry on. You know, some people thought I'd conjured that the stone starsy were not real, that I'd made them up.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I've made them up so well that they actually now exist. The gentleman who took a... There's a couple of stones on there. The gentleman who took an exception to what I was doing. It was a little bit of an obsessive individual, but you know, it's hard for me to make too many claims in that court, is it? I mean, who are the crazy people here, the people taking stones off the field or the people putting them back on? It's good to have an emesis, and it's good to think about what you're doing. I think we may have reached an accord, I'm not really sure.
Starting point is 00:03:23 But over the last week or so I've been repairing the damage. With a sensitive time, in any case, it was a very bad time to throw the stones back on. A, why not wait till the crops have grown back and then it would have been impossible to find them all. But B, the new seedlings are just sprouting through it. In any case, I am very much working on the edge of the field, essentially just removing stones. Or people who might want to run on this path. That's usually the way, occasionally I see a little stone that I recognise as one I've cleared before. And I can gingerly sometimes step out and gather it.
Starting point is 00:04:16 I've pretty much got them all back. I think they'll be left alone, but if it becomes contentious again, we may have to draw a veil over at least the recorded aspect of this podcast. The penny of stones just right on the edge of the field, as always. That's all I've really been working on for the last three years. It was disturbing to see three years of work undone in an afternoon, if you'd then appear near a gate. So I'm going to take that one up. That's why I say I will take them all up, but sometimes if it's in the actual undergrowth, far away from where people might walk, I sometimes allow nature to take its course,
Starting point is 00:05:09 but this one is in the undergrowth, but it's too near the gate. That's a real stinker. Oh, fucking wolfie. I don't want to have to walk around with this in my pocket, but I'm going to. You know, I'm not one of those guys, one of those, let's hang some dog shit in a tree, guys. I know, let's put some dog shit in the pocket on a guy. There's actually the pathway. I don't know, I don't think I touched that dog poo, but I still feel dirty from even having handled it through part plastic.
Starting point is 00:05:43 That's how extreme it was. You know, yes, it was, I think you could tell. The drama of the last episode was real. I was generally very upset about my work being undone. I'm very much upset about Michael's care. May he rest in peace, my sensei having been pulled apart. I think I was saying it was a very committed attempt to destroy everything. It must have taken most of a day, I think.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Some of the cans were missed. But along where I am now, a lot of stones thrown into the field. In a way that I think was dangerous. I think as I was walking along here in the last chapter, if you want to re-listen, I was thinking, oh my God, as maybe as the farmer has been putting stones back on, maybe what I've been doing is really bad for the soil. I had heard from this guy beforehand, so I knew there was someone objecting to what I was doing. But it was actually like almost, I would have said dangerous for any tractors or anything coming over.
Starting point is 00:07:03 There were so many stones, big stones, literally the fields. I felt I had a duty to go out and get those out of the way, which I did. And I felt I had a duty to Michael to recreate his can, which I think I've more or less done. I even felt I had a duty to Dominic Cummings. Many resting in peace. Currently speaking from beyond the grave, must have left. Like often when people die, they leave little messages behind for people. And Dominic's having his revenge from beyond the grave right now, so it seems good to...
Starting point is 00:07:44 It seems apt to rebuild his can. So everything's pretty much back to normal. It hasn't been re-re-vangelised. So we'll see how it goes. We'll take it gingerly. We'll take it easy. We'll see how it goes. It's certainly food for thought.
Starting point is 00:08:08 If they ever make a film of my life, it will largely be about stones, I'm sure. And we have anemesis. We have an actual factual anemesis. So there's always been an element of real danger for me. Just one of the stone stars he has broken ranks to really make their feelings known. But if the stone stars are real, then hopefully you get the jeopardy that I could bump into that guy. He could see what I'm doing and smash my head in with the stone. Which I'm assured he's not the kind of person to do that.
Starting point is 00:08:51 He's just an over-enthusiastic gentleman. And his heart's in the right place, though his facts are incorrect. He believes stones provide valuable minerals for the crops. But you'll notice often people grow vegetables in a stone-less environment. Stones are often told can be helped by a range of fields. But again, not the ones on top. Not the ones just sitting on top of the fields. Which is mainly what I'm dealing with.
Starting point is 00:09:32 And certainly not the ones right down the edge, which is mainly what I'm dealing with. And certainly only a few were to manage to remove all a billion of them, which I intend to do. But I'm still somewhere from achieving. Just now another stone into the roots of the tree. Those were missed. Everything along this side were now in the upward slope. A field everything on this side was missed. And so far it seems everything is staying in its correct place.
Starting point is 00:10:02 So I hope that means a nice little kick there. It's gone right off the path into the tree. I hope this means that just Duncan will continue. I did think for a while I might have to stop. So I've got to be back to take the kids to school today. So I'm just weighing up my time at a speed up a bit. I hope you can hear the birdsong. It's quite nice.
Starting point is 00:10:45 If I was Adam Buxton I would have a... Oh, well I know there isn't even a path here. Farmers put the crops right up to the hedge row. So they can't help but walk on some of these. Adam Buxton has an app on his phone that can identify birds. And they're just in his recent podcast. If you don't enjoy the stone clanging or the chat about stone clanging you just listen to the sounds that are going on on the long side.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Stone clanging, nice little small medium there with a chunk to it. Maybe a small large to be fair. It's a difficult system to categorise really. So I don't know what the new crop growing is. The central part of the field is thick with this new crop and the outside has been more recently done. It looks like grass but I'm sure it will be something else. I don't think it's beets.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Here's the good news, a local message on Facebook group which did get rather embroiled in the stone clearing controversy a couple of weeks ago. They said their dog had eaten one of the beets still between the fields and had to have an operation and go to the hospital. So do watch out for the dead beets, rotten beets on your field and you have a dog. Good to have Wolfie back. I think she was back last time, wasn't she?
Starting point is 00:12:23 I'd do it without Wolfie last time. I think Wolfie was here. Coming to the singing ringing tree. No sign of the stone star. They may be giving me a respectful steer and clear of me. I think some of the stone stars even felt what happened the other week was going a bit far. How have they opposed you after stones being cleared?
Starting point is 00:12:55 No need to be rude, is there? I'm sure murder the stone clearers but don't destroy what they've done. That's not spotting. Oh and there's a nice saw, that's a big one. That's a lovely big one that can go in the base of the singing ringing tree. That's definitely in the medium class. And because the farmer's got so close to the edge here
Starting point is 00:13:23 I think a few of my stones have been re-formed back into the field. Let's make sure you get those stones well away from any potential cloud. I've got a lot of singing ringing tree stones today. That's a big one. Four stones went on and no singing ringing tree today. No feet. Are you trying to eat a bit of beat after what I just said? Is that what you're doing?
Starting point is 00:13:50 Because I've just literally said you've got to listen. That's your problem and you've got to learn English. You're old enough now Wolfie, you're four years old nearly. Right even before now. I'm not sure when the exact birthday was. I saw you in your little puppy. I can probably work it out for my blog.
Starting point is 00:14:15 So this year is your fourth year on this planet. And you know, even my son Ernie, who's not the brightest spark in the box, can speak now and he's younger than you, so come on. So Wolfie sniffing around the periphery field. Oh, and it's so nice to see a person on their way. I think that's all we want. He's missed there. Just missed on their walk.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Don't think they're coming down this way. I think they're heading off into the next field. I don't know if it's elsewhere. Oh, it's good. It's business as usual. It feels good. Just got to be back. And clearly there's some good stones just in the path.
Starting point is 00:15:07 That's all we need to do. Just make the path safe for pedestrians and dogs. There are very sharp bits of flints here. So whatever you view on stones providing minerals for crops. I think we can all agree they don't need to be on the pathway. Just litter around. Obviously they can be stamped down to provide a more solid pathway and wet conditions. But it's the summer now.
Starting point is 00:15:42 We need to think of the joggers. I'm feeling a lot better as well, by the way. It came at a bad time for me. Obviously the schism. I'm still recovering from my procedures and have been a bit tired and low. But so far this week, I think I have more energy. Feeling good today considering having a run as well as this walk today. I think we can have a 6K run a couple of weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:16:20 A little bit early. Might as well be a gentle one. Come on. And thanks to all the support during lockdown, guys. If you enjoyed the live streams. 4B, come here. Come here. Remember, you can subscribe to Twitch.
Starting point is 00:16:47 If you're an Amazon Prime, no extra cost to yourself. And we will get money with Twitch.tv. Or you can become a monthly badger. Go to fosterstrike.com. Even those will really help boost your good luck or decrease your bad luck in the stand pole situations. And you can see from my own experience how a bad stone pole can really affect your life. Really the stone gods are cruel when it comes to someone just failing to hit a stone with a pole with a stone. They have high expectations.
Starting point is 00:17:31 If you fall short of those and you haven't subscribed, which I haven't. I don't subscribe to my own podcast. Then goodbye testies. Or breasts or ovaries or whatever. We must not question the will of the stone gods. Very shaley part of the path here again. We're just at the border boundary between my field and the next field. And just chucking a couple of those shells off the path.
Starting point is 00:18:05 No one needs to be upset. And heading the long journey to the central can, which did survive. My favorite of my personal cans. I still feel the main can belongs to Michael. Even though I did much more work on it than he did. That didn't really give him how long he was working on it. How small it was may he rest in peace. But this one's mine and I think if this one went I would feel better.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Because the stones technically stood on the field as well. Of course if you think that they are seeping minerals into the soil. Beautiful day. Lovely sunshine and the green crops here. The green grassy crops are almost yellowy green in the sunshine. And I have to say I've really appreciated being back on my feet and walking the dog around the countryside. And seeing hairs boxing and bluebells growing.
Starting point is 00:19:16 It is a tonic. I hope me just describing it is enough of a tonic if you're trapped in a city. If you're still self isolating in any way. It should be in some way. Hopefully soon we'll be out. I hope some of you will come and see me live at the Clapton Grand in May, June and July. Oh my goodness. I don't believe it.
Starting point is 00:19:44 What am I going to do? There's no way out of this. Okay, here comes my birthday speech lady. With a huge dog. It doesn't usually cross across the field like this. She's coming straight for me in the Bishop Moo. I think the crops are probably big enough to move across out of her way. Unless she waits there for me we're going to collide.
Starting point is 00:20:14 She's putting her horse dog on a leash. Wolfie's quite excited. I've tucked my two stones I picked up on the chinny end of my arm. I'm hoping she doesn't spot that. Come walks out here a bit. Wolfie, come here. It's a very bold move. Did not expect the Queen to do a Bishop Moo, but of course that's one of the moves she's allowed to have.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Wolfie. Good girl. Stay here, stay, stay, stay. Good girl. Stay here, stay here. And Wolfie. Rightly challenging. The dog there.
Starting point is 00:21:00 I just picked up a stone and I remembered she has rear view mirrors. Very benign Queen. Like the Borg Queen, sort of beautiful. Sort of evil at the same time. So yes, can I see him by some grass now? Still complete. Three more stones on it. Not a great halt but given circumstances.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I can have a couple on from this direction. And down we head towards the stone pole. There's a very David in Goliath style stone there. Oh, a couple of nice roundies. I mean, we're early, but we might as well get this right together. Now, there were a lot of stones around the stone pole that had been thrown back in. I'm not sure how many of those are repatriated. I mean, that is the biggest thing I think.
Starting point is 00:22:02 My bad luck will certainly come to the person responsible for this desecration of a holy site. You know, to move the stones off a can, perhaps you will be forgiven. To move the stones from this round stone pole, countless pilgrims thrown. I don't know. I wouldn't like to be that guy. That's what I'm saying. Well, benign, really, almost there. The feeling I got from the mobility scooter goddess of the Stone Starzy was, I'm sorry, you know, we're going to cut you some slack. But soon we'll be back to our usual ferocity and attempting to destroy you.
Starting point is 00:22:53 And I think, you know, when a bald queen thinks things have gone too far, that things have really gone too far. Looking over at my main ken there just, there seems to be some sort of something around that. I hope that is not more vandalism, but we'll see in a sec. It's been fine for a couple of weeks. I think I'm just, I think it's just undulations in the ground. So nobody around. I wear my north face jacket, north face, not just for winter. Also for the boiling hot sun of spring. There was frost on the bin this morning when I put it out for the bin.
Starting point is 00:23:36 So I kind of put my coat on thinking I would need it, but pretty wrong about that. Oh yeah, there's still quite a lot of first stones here littering the area, which will be useful in terms of ammunition. So it's just helped me really. I've actually got six stones and I might as well try and do six. Let's see what happens. One out of one. Two out of two. Wolfie not even getting away all just to, she's made me lose my balance there. Two out of three. Oh no. Two out of four. Three out of five. Oh no. Three out of six. We need a decider. I should just left it five. It was three out of five. Watch out Wolfie. Wolfie need to put me off there. But four out of seven. And that's a good lot of stones back where they belong.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Good luck. So go to Twitch now. Twitch.tv. Okay, here you can make your Amazon Gaming and Amazon Prime cancelling. And then subscribe. Don't forget to come back every month to re-subscribe. That's an easier process. There's a video explaining it. Do you, are you welcome to that page? Or go to getplusthrack.com. All your money will be used to make invariant podcasts of this one. This one will always be free, free to make. You know, the only price I pay is possibly my life. And that's a cheap price, I think, for what beautiful art I'm creating. A couple of stones from the edge just going into the undergrowth along the wire fence here, trying to create a wall that will cover this wire fence. Eventually, of course, the wire fence has big holes in it, which will make things harder.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Oh, lovely daffodils. No, not daffodils. And sandaline, flocks. I'm just going to take a little step out, gingerly, to pick up a rather nice stainless spotted. And yes, I think what I was seeing from a distance was just growth of weeds close to the main camp. So I think we're okay. Let's take a picture of a dandelion clock. It's almost, it's very like, it's like the rainbow sent by Inferia. You know, the way I tell my time is by a dandelion clock. And I know it's springtime. That's the time it's telling me it is. Because here it is, once again, back reassuring me, letting us know the interplay of the seasons. We've been here two or three times before. Oh, there's a stone star that's coming up behind me.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Very tiny witch's finger, which is dick there. We put that on the can. I'm going to be taking that off the field. I've learnt my lesson. And the can, looking almost, someone's put a bag of dog shit on it. That's just very disrespectful. The witch's finger, which is dick, is now on top of the dog shit. We'll bury that. And we're heading down. I can't even see any large stones around here. It's such a good job I've done of putting them back. What's the time? Oh, probably a time. We're in good time. I'm just going to say I can pop down to the dog shit bin. There's no need.
Starting point is 00:27:28 I can just stick this dog shit in the bin. The bin won't take it away. That's what I say. A couple of geese out on the field. It's lovely out here. They're long dinosaur necks, poaching above the shortcrop still. I'm leaving that there. It smells of marijuana in the air. There's not many stones to gather here. The path is very hard and free of stones. And just the odd one here and there. It's almost.
Starting point is 00:28:14 And we're coming to the ditch to stop Brexit. One of the things that made me think I have to carry on. Because we can't have Brexit in this country. It has to be stopped and without me it will just carry on. So now we're going to be spending some gas there out here. It's alright. People are smoking marijuana. Geese are flying in the distance. I'm coming down to return to the ditch to stop Brexit. There's actually quite a bit of loose shrapnel right by the ditch and stop Brexit. I didn't need to carry those ones so far.
Starting point is 00:28:55 But I picked up some of that spot in the afternoon on weekend. It's time to look at your emails. A lot of emails obviously. This week, even support of what I'm doing here. And the amazing job over there is the stone of starsy right behind me. Trying to get off the field wolves. Let's have a look. Aeroplane Greenhouse. Aeroplane Greenhouse. I don't know if that's the nickname. These days. Probably a millennial. Am I right?
Starting point is 00:29:25 That would be a boomer who gave them that name I guess. Generational. So it's rich. I'm really worried you're not going to carry on stone planes. People love it. It's the greatest work of art. It's the greatest relief. Carry on. Clearing for tones. Even if it is damaged in the field. It's doing so much good to the people of the world.
Starting point is 00:29:55 What is one field compared to the mental joy? Mental health. Mental joy. That's what's in the email. I'm just reading the email. There's actually dozens of people. It's true. It's a piece of land more valuable than a man. Yes, it is. There's to be here much longer. The stones are much more important than humanity. But I still appreciate the thought.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Just coming down duck its passage now. Lovely blue flowers. Weeds probably. But they're as beautiful as another email. Rich. So I should just read the name. Binde Peugeot has been in touch. Binde. Maybe an Indian name. Peugeot sounds French but you know that's the way the world is. Isn't it now? We're just a mixture of cultures and that's what I like. Binde Peugeot has been touched to say rich. I agree with aeroplane.
Starting point is 00:30:59 I don't know how they know about the aeroplane email. It may be their friend. It really must carry on. Don't worry. I don't think it's hyperbole to say it's the greatest work of art that mankind has yet created. I take that as a compliment but I don't like the yet in that as it implies that one day there will be a work of art in greater than this. I don't think that is the case. So perhaps that would be Binde there. It's nice we've got this
Starting point is 00:31:31 multicultural thing going on but please respect me a bit more than you are doing. And we're back home. I'm going to take the kids to school so I think we'll wrap it up. A beautiful almost exactly half an hour. And hopefully there will be no repercussions to this. Enjoy your stone clearing wherever you may do it. Stone clear wherever you may be. I am the Lord. Station C. Alright, bye.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Starved me Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog. Also featuring the Borg queen. And I am the Lord. Stone clearing with Richard Herring. Starved me Richard Herring and Wolfie the dog. And not much else.
Starting point is 00:33:01 The Voice of the Photons is Michael Faheen. Music is by Mike Coffgrave. Music is by Michael Faheen. Music is by Michael Faheen. Music is by Michael Faheen. Music is by Michael Faheen. Music is by Michael Faheen. Music is by Michael Faheen. Music is by Michael Faheen.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Music. Music.

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