Stop Podcasting Yourself - Bonus Episode - Bean There Done That 7: “Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean"

Episode Date: December 16, 2022

Dave and Graham take on the most iconic Mr. Bean ever. Plus Mr. Bean's first name, a Mr. Bean pageant, and a fan fiction challenge.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, everybody. Ha, ha, ha. That's the English version of ho, ho, ho. And they say happy Christmas over there. Happy Christmas. Good yule. Hey, folks. This is a very special bonus episode.

Well, look, I feel bad that people who are already subscribing to the bonus content are like, this isn't bonus. Yeah, that's true. This is one for you, all y'all not in the bonus content feed, all of you who are not members over at MaximumFun.org. If you don't know, we are releasing tons of bonus material. Boy, are we. And it's a horn of plenty. It's not just one style of uh bonus

episodes we've got all sorts of different ones that we've done our most popular i would say is probably uh the one you've clicked on right now been there done that i wouldn't say it's the most popular uh there's no way of knowing what's popular but uh uh every month uh we release graham and i watch an episode of mr bean and we release a a recap of it and we thought because last month we released uh episode seven of mr bean merry christmas mr bean christmas we thought uh we would release it in the main feed. Just as our gift to you. Yeah, for everyone to listen to. We know a lot of you have a lot of extra time this time of year. You have holidays.

You're traveling. Yeah. You might appreciate an extra episode. If you would appreciate even more extra episodes, just know they're always there for you if you ever want to go to Maxim fun.org slash join yeah we'll be there for you like a certain friend i know of um also dave was saying we re-watch an episode of mr bean you can re-watch them too because that's now this gives you the excuse you always wanted to to re-watch all the mr beans this is it this is your chance to do it so um enjoy this one if you want more head over to maximumfun.org join Hi, everybody!

Hey, you bean addicts. Yeah, you love it. Thanks for being a member and being a part of this secret society of Stop Podcasting Yourself, where you get to hear extra bonus episodes like this one. Mm-hmm. Been there, done that. Been there, done that. Episode 7. Oh, buddy. podcasting yourself where you get to hear extra bonus episodes like this one and they're done that being there done that episode seven oh buddy you've been waiting for this one you know since we started this this is what you've been yeah it's all leading up to this even back timing it

oh is it gonna happen in time is it gonna be the one that comes out well no it's this is i guess technically a month early so you can stop it now and then save it for uh christmas eve or christmas day or boxing day whatever you want to do a beanie day but this is this uh month on being there done that your your boys your bean experts are uh taking on merry christmas mr bean honestly like the in terms of the bean catalog that him driving on top of the car and uh and this they're the tops those are the to me the one and two of this yeah have we haven't done driving on top of the car yet have we no no but uh you wouldn't say him eating a sandwich in the park like putting together a sandwich in the park is

in the iconic oh it's in the iconosphere for sure but like if you've never seen mr bean before you've definitely seen a photo of him wearing a turkey yeah that's true and uh oh spoiler alert i guess the other one this is sort of like if you saw one saved by the bell it was the one where jesse's addicted to pills yes exactly yeah that's the iconic one of that which is oddly an outlier because saved by the bell didn't usually do like very special episodes yeah and they were mr bean's girlfriend gets addicted to video terminal gambling. Poor Irma. Yeah, he's got to mime her out of it.

Before we get into this week's episode, we do have Bean news. Oh, yeah. Report. Let's hear what the latest report is. Just let me do this. Bean news. Nice. I'll put a little mustard on that.

No, yeah, you're right. Do the voice. Bean news. I was going to do, like, reverb and, and like lower the pitch and stuff, but now it's fine with that. Maybe I'll add like a laser sound. Yeah. But a couple of pieces of bean news that people have sent in.

Okay. Do you, are you, have you seen these things? I think I know one of them, but I don't know the other. Oh, maybe I don't know either of them

I didn't really understand this first piece A few people sent it to us on Twitter A few people emailed us If you want to email us spy at maximumfun.org On Twitter at stoppodcasting The first piece I couldn't remember

If this was If we covered this last month but looking at the date i don't think we did uh apparently there's a uh a feud in the world of cricket oh yes yeah yeah yeah uh between uh zimbabwe and pak. Two of the bigs. And apparently, I think this just happened on social media, that people were fighting because these two teams were going to face each other in a cricket tournament. Yeah, that sounds about right.

And Zimbabwe has had a grudge against Pakistan for quite a while because one time they sent a Pakistani Mr. Bean impersonator claiming it was the real Mr. Bean. The scale of this, I don't understand. It's not like the whole country was sent a Mr. Bean. not like the whole country was sent a mr bean but maybe they were supposed to like have a special delegate go to the uh the parliament or what have you and they sent a pakistani mr bean something like that yeah i think he was supposed to be uh he was supposed to give a speech on climate change can you imagine mr bean having to address the un oh boy so in trouble he'd get into yeah in 2016 they sent a um they uh i don't know what they said like does he work for an agency like a he looks like mr b he does look like mr b yes in all fairness he does like if we're gonna uh do some kind of you know mr bean from every country

he he's certainly the pakistani mr bean oh absolutely yeah he's uh they should have mr bean pageants in every country they do but when they uh it's called to different things depending on what country you're from and uh there's also you know um it's a different time of year in every country yeah um but yeah absolutely should they have an international mr bean pageant yes and uh you know oh the the talent portion would just be them getting into hijinks it would be there they're presented with a giant birthday cake and then you see what kind of funny things every mr bean from every country yeah oh my god what would go in a mr bean pageant uh you know who would uh dress oh during the bathing suit portion they would all have to put their bathing suit on without uh you know

that would be great they would have to um yeah talent would be i mean you could choose any of the talents from the multiple episodes driving on top of a car yeah together sandwich does mr bean have like a musical talent does he sing uh he sings a little bit in that uh that church episode where that's true he mimed some opera on the airplane. And he does a little musical number in this episode that we're talking about now. The Christmas episode. That's true. He gets into some pretty cool

music. And I would like to have... And what else do they do in a beauty pageant? They ask them a question? And he'd be like, I don't know. Not sure. Okay. Well, this is, I'm like, I think Zimbabwe ended up winning the cricket match, which was kind of an upset. But I might be wrong about that.

How did so many people send us this? I don't know, but it's great. It is. It is. It's important. I'm glad that you brought it up. Do you know where Zimbabwe is? No. I mean, it's somewhere in the

African region, but I don't know where. Yeah. You're not on trial. So that's the first piece of mr bean news geography is my super weak spot oh sure well you wouldn't do very well in a certain pageant that has a geography portion and then the other piece of bean news uh this was something. So in the last couple of weeks, Twitter has become the Wild West. Oh, has it ever? Yeah. So many people sent us this.

And I can't actually find it right now. Oh, well. You were able to on Twitter for eight bucks. You were allowed to get a verified check mark and so everybody went hog wild with uh the verified check a lot of people pretending to be uh corporations a lot of people um and then one person pretending to be mr bean himself yeah uh mr bean official i think maybe it was the name or something like that i'm trying to find the exact tweet it's gross it's it's i think it's actually

pretty beautiful but i don't know i guess ladies uh steer clear of this guy he thinks it's gross what mr bean said as i just try to pull it up from the news feed uh yes this was uh on uh the day before remembrance day so yeah um hash or at real mr bean uh wrote who wants mr bean to eat their pussy tonight. Not me. He'd get into so many crazy situations. You know what he did with that turkey. So, just... It certainly gives you some

ideas. Oh, absolutely. Walking around with, well... You can figure out the rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just hope he doesn't lose his wristwatch in there. Well... Well, that's all for this week. See you next month. Yes, it is.

That's it for Bean News. And it's time to unveil episode 7 of Mr. Bean. Episode 7 of 14. This means we're halfway through. Halfway through the Bean Catalog. Oh, and we have decided, due to scheduling and due to the nature of this episode, feel free to put this off a month because we will be not releasing another Bean There Done That episode until January. Absolutely. Get comfy, get your gingerbread out, get your eggnog poured, and then sit back and enjoy a very Christmassy Mr. Bean.

So this episode, episode seven, entitled Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean, was released on december 29th 1992 like who wants to watch a christmas special after right before new year's yeah but like you know these uh pencil pushers at the bbc they don't care and they're just like oh as long as we slot it in before the fourth quarter well because they always do one after christmas it's like a tradition but it's not always a it's not usually a christmas episode yeah it's they also have a weird thing in the uk where it's like whoever gets the top slot on the charts is like a big deal the week of christmas yeah it's some some weird thing i just remember i remember like uh who's the who's the nasty boy of british music robbie oh robbie williams robbie williams i feel like

he had it one year oh anyways 29th hilarious um just let me just look up, uh, British, uh, population, uh, 1992. So this came out in 1992, December 29th. It was watched. Oh my gosh. It was watched by 18.48 million viewers during the original transmission. That's wow. Uh, out of 57 million british people so that's like less than or more than one in three people watch this that's crazy and that's like something

that would never happen now if unless it was like uh like the queen's funeral or something yeah unless it was mr beast man mr beast burger everyone do we do we have to start calling him britain's mr bean because of the different that's true i'm a little confused yeah it's confusing now yeah it is it's yeah exactly it used to be fairly straight ahead but um so just yes listeners just to confirm you're we're talking about the episode seven of British Mr. Bean. British Mr. Bean. Yes. I don't know what Pakistani Mr. Bean gets up to.

I assume hijinks as well, but who knows? Different country, different flavor. Abby was asking me, what is Mr. Bean's first name? And I was like, are you trying to she's like this is gotcha journalism does he have a first name i don't know oh okay maybe in the like uh you know in the the the literature yeah there might be yeah i mean if i if i would suggest just way out of left field, I'd say it was Kristoff. Oh, I would have guessed Warren. Write in what you think Mr. Bean's first name is. Oh, yes.

Yeah. Really take time to think of what would be perfect. Yeah. If there is a real answer, wait a few days before you ruin everyone else's fun. If you know the real answer, hold off. Yeah, hold off. We want to hear possibles, not exact. So, Mr. Bean, it's Christmas time.

It's Christmas time. This one is written by Robin Driscoll, Rowan Atkinson, and Richard Curtis. This is the final episode written by Richard Curtis. Because he and Bean had a falling out? No, he was, I think he wrote and directed the Bean movies. Oh, okay. He wrote, but then he went and wrote Four Weddings and a Funeral and Love Actually and

Notting Hill. He's Mr. Rom-Com. He had some British, yeah, he had some British rom Mr. Rom-Com. He had some British. Yeah. He had some British rom-coms to write. He had to get that out of his system. So this is also the final episode that Mr. Bean's girlfriend appears in.

Irma. Irma. And there's we'll find out it's for good reason. He has had enough. And now you see what he's tweeting on maine uh so uh it's is it a coincidence that the rom-com guy left and then at the same time that the girlfriend like he was the one right maybe he was pushing all these romantic storylines

Maybe he was pushing all these romantic storylines. Yeah, and I think like, you know, if ever a romance was going to burn out, it's got to be around Christmas or New Year's. You know what I mean? If you're on the fence, that's a good time to break loose. And Mr. Bean then shows up at her door with carrying a bunch of cards that say, Bean. Bean. Bean.

Christmas socks. Merry, happy Christmas, Teddy. This was, it's called Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean, although I do think of British people saying happy Christmas.

Happy Christmas. Absolutely. This, so the last episode we talked about the number one song was I'm Too Sexy at the time of its release. And the number one movie was Wayne's World. Any guesses? This, Christmastime, 1992, any guesses? Well, I figure whatever it is, it's got to be the winner of that year's chart topper.

I only have the American charts. I'm going to say that it was 1992. It was MC Hammer's follow-up to Can't Touch This. Whatever that was. I just double-checked. It in the same in america and the uk oh okay i don't think it's mc hammer i think it's mariah carey i'm gonna say it's mariah carey it is uh the one of the right kind of character. You know, diva, loud, powerful voice.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Definitely one of our top divas. And the top song, or top movie at the time this was released. Bodyguard? No clue. That was on the, certainly on the charts. This is one, do you want me to tell you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want the truth? I want nothing but the truth. Oh, is it?

A few good men. A few good men. Just looking at this top five movies of this weekend, it's very nostalgic. I guess not number five. Number five is Forever Young. I don't know what that is. The, me neither. The Bodyguard, Home Alone 2. Oh, yes. Aladdin and A Few Good Men. Man, oh, man. It's crazy that, like, Aladdin wasn't the number one around Christmas because I feel like people would be going to movies with their family.

But maybe a lot of people went to see A Few Good Men. People were like, oh, Rob Reiner's on this great streak. It's true. Rob reiner can't miss and then yeah he did eventually it wasn't like north or something people say it was north i don't know i haven't seen them all um so fade in fade in mr bean uh you know we see him in as usual being beamed down to earth he wanders away from the beam and then it's christmas time christmas time in london or whatever city he lives in i assume london i think that was uh yeah that's a big uh it was harrods in london i think yeah so he's in he's in a shopping mood and uh you know it's man this is a fucking playground for him all the things you could get into holy shit well first he parks his car his mini right outside which great parking spot on the sidewalk on the sidewalk

On the sidewalk. On the sidewalk. There's a Santa Claus ringing a bell outside. Oh, yeah. And then right away, man, Bean can't resist. You know he's going to pull on that beard. Yeah, he gives the beard a yank. And then... And is it real?

No. No. But that's why. You know what I think he's so excited about this time of year? That he's just being silly. I think he's like so excited about this time of year that he's just being silly. I think he's being extra silly. You think that's why he's being silly? Yeah.

Because, yeah, I think like usually we think he's being silly, but this time I think he thinks he's being silly too. Yeah. Pulling on that beard. And then we see him in the department store. He's looking, he's mulling over buying a Christmas decoration. Yeah, one ornament. And a little

red ornament. Come see, come saw. But big gold ornament. Yeah. But he has to test them. He tests them out. And how does he test them? Bounces the gold one on the ground. It bounces test them? Bounces the gold one on the ground. It bounces back up.

Bounces the red one on the ground. Smash. So easy peasy. He's got himself one ornament. Which that is true to form that he would just have one ornament. Is it Christmas Eve? Oh, that's a good question uh because it's already nighttime it is nighttime and i think if you're keeping the if the whole

episode happens in the same time frame then yes i think it would be because that is something that happens in christmas specials all the time where they're like it's christmas eve we're just going to pick up the christmas tree and that's right hang up all those things maybe do a little shopping oh yeah oh you gotta write your letter to santa it's christmas eve uh we'll fax it we'll fax it to santa he'll be able to get it in time already in tuvalu um so we have uh so he's got the one decoration the one decoration but he's gonna need some lights absolutely and he's looking he's looking at what i feel like what is the brand of light that that's a company that only makes lights is like norco or noma noma well that's that's the canadian tire brand here i think okay that's to me that's the Canadian tire brand here, I think.

Okay. To me, that's the final name in lights. Oh, yeah. I feel like Sylvania, maybe. Oh, Sylvania. They make a good light. They're known Noma, but yeah, Sylvania will do in a pinch. Yeah, but in Britain, it's probably like, I don't know, Chester's Lights.

Yes, Chester's Lights. Chester's lights. Yes. Chester's lights. Chester's holiday lights. Ye olde light. Light with two T's in it. So, you know, he's not satisfied to just buy. As with the ornament, he's got to test her out. Got to take her on a road test. Uh-huh. So, he opens up the pack of christmas lights looks for an outlet doesn't

find one so he goes into the back of the store uh finds an outlet but there's a plug in it yeah unplugs the plug the what's what's plugged into the outlet you see a shot of outside the the department store i know lights go out just the christ Christmas light. Yeah. And it's, you know, like I thought it was just going to be the Christmas tree in the department store was going to go off. I didn't know the whole building was plugged into this one. But this was like a practical thing. Like they needed to have Harrods all lit up. Did they shoot this a month before? Or was it a year before?

Might have been a year before. And I i mean it could be just a special effect maybe they they created the on off uh i don't think or no maybe it's stock footage of it turning on turning off you never know maybe maybe um but it looked like it was maybe shot from the same angle as when his car was driving through the city it does yeah yeah they must they probably got special dispensation from harrods to turn off oh absolutely they're like mr bean when mr bean uh comes calling the country comes to his uh that's true service our nation's turned this lonely eyes to you whatever yes exactly uh So then he plugs it back in. Lights come on. Audience goes bananas. Yeah. And then he's got his lights.

Yeah. Heads up to pay for one ornament and the lights. But as he's paying, he does reach into his pocket to pay. But as that's happening, he gets distracted by something. That's right. And it's uh what like this is this is also i'd say this is iconic as well because he he walks over to uh the nativity scene that's in the window of of the store and see this is where i think mr bean is in a silly mood

that he does all this stuff in the nativityc i guess so but like when is he not i guess sometimes it's true he's i guess sometimes he's in kind of like a um competitive mood or he's like yeah he's just kind of like he's trying to screw over a kid by making him seem like he beat his pants or like embarrassed yeah you're right this is sillier than he's full of joy yeah so he goes over and he starts it's it's very funny the way it starts out is he makes every uh character in the manger say something yeah he goes over to the manger scene yeah so everyone says something but then they all are getting shushed by marion they're all getting shushed yeah which is very funny and then uh he brings in a bunch of sheep and they're all being loud and he gets the the shepherd boy out there and they're saying shush

to the sheep the palace guards walk through doing an army song which apparently is a song from black adder oh okay yeah yeah i don't know that i i i've i haven't watched one frame of black adder fair enough yeah so though then he brings in a truck to pick up all the sheep yeah and by the way i counted all as with every episode i counted all of his dialogue there's a lot of dialogue this is the most dialogue by a country mile and I don't even include these animal sounds yeah oh wow so even without it it's still I don't clown I don't include shush I don't include moo I do include Later when he says meow outside the cat or the mouse hole. So, yeah, the truck's playing around. Then a little tiny sheep goes by.

And what comes along? Is it the Dalek? Is that how you pronounce it? It's the robot from doctor who yeah and he starts zaps the zapping people zaps the sheep and then a t-rex toy comes through and scares all the people in the manger that's right and then uh the the military comes out a bunch of tanks some tanks the dalek comes out the dalek is part of the military and uh but what comes and saves jesus a helicopter angel on a helicopter with a magnet

and then maybe jesus is carried very carefully over to a bedroom in a barbie kind of bedroom yeah and then sorry the bed and then a weird sort of cartoonish police action not even action figure like old-timey doll comes in yeah and then you're like what's going on now it's the it's the clerk yeah he's like get away from this is his fun way to tell him to get away from him like you know cheeky um and he hands he hands mr burns i mean mr bean he hands mr bean uh a bag the bag of uh the two things he bought yeah so this guy we've seen this guy before right this actor oh i wish i had done the research on this guy he looks familiar i feel like he's he's been in i think he's been a haughty uh character yeah episode i believe that um so he's just doing he's playing to his strengths here he's uh yeah he's upset with mr and he hands mr bean a bag that says uh

harrods and then uh that's the store let's oh it was the actor was owen brennman okay was Owen Brenman. Okay. Who has appeared. Oh boy, he's been in a bunch of British things. One foot in the grave. Love soup. That was the original, that was the prequel. On IMDB, he's listed as just this one episode. Okay, okay.

Well, I thought he looked familiar. Maybe I remember him from Love Soup. Yeah, probably from Love Soup. He played the crackers. Mr. Bean's out of the store. He's let loose on Britain on a cold winter's night. And outside there's another Santa.

Uh-oh. And Mr. Bean pulls on his beard. It real true to form it's real he gets kind of spooked and runs away uh-huh um not that he was he not that he was sticking around for the first santa that's right pulling on something and running away is kind of mr bean's signature move yes that's exactly this is what we expect of mr bean at this point uh so he comes upon a uh uh salvation army well first at first he sees his girlfriend that's right irma irma and he she's shopping she's got a bag from john John Lewis. Probably watched their big Christmas advert. Probably, you know, tried a little bit.

So, two big British retailers. I wonder if they paid for product placement. Yeah. I'm surprised Marks and Sparks doesn't pay for that. Yeah. I'm surprised the freaking Tesco is not in. I'm surprised the freaking Tesco is not in. So she is in a, she's in a holiday mood.

She's, she's pointing out to being what she would like. Well, first he shows her the ornament he got and she rolls her eyes. And then it was like, no, I don't want that. Brings him to the jeweler window, the window of the jewelry store and put like pounds on the window pointing so it just and if anybody in the audience doesn't

know what she's doing there's a picture of a couple and the man has put a diamond on his gal's finger well there's also a giant diamond ring there that she's but you know mr bean he's got a he's got a little you don't know that yeah it makes it pretty it it hints pretty clearly that she wants that ring we're looking at the ring is the focus yeah she uh she he wants it so he should have put a ring on it. But does he want it? He doesn't seem to. Well. She kisses him on the cheek and he wipes it off. Yeah, he gives her the little tap on the nose, like, I know what you're talking about.

And she kisses him on the cheek and he wipes it off. And then she sees him go into the jewelry store and she's like, celebrate. story and she's like celebrate it yeah she's so happy to be with this guy that frankly has been uh a bit of trouble to him like does she want does she want this to be a gift or does she want this to be an engagement ring i think that to me it's that she wants to get hitched i think so too but why i know like i guess nothing but trouble to you all these years yeah it's 1992 it's maybe they're old-fashioned like sure they don't live together first which as if they could there's no room in that apartment also like imagine living with mr bean like i can't like how are you gonna do it like just you know what's your five-year plan here lady yeah yeah exactly like you're gonna have mr

bean's child yeah i mean although son of mr bean would be a great property that i would be very much interested in seeing that's true who would play him probably mr b de-aged probably that uh guy who played all the oompa loompas in the timber yes or you know what in a pinch pakistani yeah uh yeah so uh he goes in the store she's stoked. And then we see him. We pick him up later. Yeah. Also, he's everyone is dressed in like cold weather stuff. Everyone's wearing hats and like like long coats and things and gloves.

Mr. Bean's just in his suit. Is he? Yeah. Not his suit. His, you know, coat and pants and trousers uh is he did like is he built different i don't know but i now that i think of it aside from like a bathing suit and like like maybe a robe i think we haven't seen him dressed in anything sure no he dressed as a tuxedo that's true meet the queen that the uh yeah so why isn't he bundled up when the sandwich

making episode he's got a very big coat he's got like an extra like a raincoat so it brings all the silly objects out of it yeah uh is the is it maybe the camera just likes him better in this if there's no reason for him to have like to be pulling things out of a big coat then let's just yeah give him his tweed it'd be funny if he wore like a toque and then the toque turns out to be his uh stocking or something like that. That I could see why he would have a bit of winter clothing, but you're right. Maybe the camera just loves him in that one outfit. I mean,

I love him. Yeah. He said he's iconic. Are you kidding me? Oh boy. So the Salvation Army band is playing music and the, the conductor is holding a bucket and Mr. Bean does something.

Um, what would you call it? very out of character yeah he's like kind and philanthropic and he's like i'll take this and collect money yeah and as soon as he takes it in my eye i was like he's just gonna steal straight from the salvation yeah but he hasn't he's not like that's not his character no he doesn't steal but he also doesn't help no he did that one there was that one time where he uh he gave money to a uh like a busker but there was some kind of weird exchange i forgot what it was well he uh he wanted to give the money to the busker but then he didn't have any so he did a little dance. Oh,

and earned money in that way. That's what it was. Yeah. So he takes the, the collection bucket and takes it around. His collecting money from the crowd. And then he comes upon, now,

does he come upon a kid or does the kid kid tries to steal the kid takes a wallet out of someone's pocket it's a he's a little pickpocket boy yeah and then as the the like person walks away who he's stealing from you see mr bean in the background who's who caught the boy doing it and instead of getting the boy in trouble he's like the wallet also instead of just handing the wallet back to the owner yeah like put it in this bucket well and then he starts uh like gives him the signal like what else have you got and the boy pulls out more wallets and instead of like trying to find the owners he's just like it all goes in the bucket the boy pulls out jewelry he's pulls out like a big pearl necklace yeah and there's something

under there's more under his hat that mr bean takes out and mr bean gives him the like what else and the boy opens his mouth and he's got a ring sitting on his tongue. And see now, in my mind, this is Bean's golden opportunity. Irma wants a ring. This kid happens to have a ring in his mouth. I was like, kismet. This is going to work out very well indeed for Miss Gob. But yeah, and then he hands it back to the conductor. It's very heavy. Yeah. And they have kind of like a gibberish conversation i didn't count this towards dialogue either oh no kidding

okay because i know at one point he says i have to go put it in my car yeah but that wasn't mr bean talking yeah that's true and so the guy the the conductor hands Mr. Bean the baton. And then leaves to put the bucket in his car. And Bean like sort of absentmindedly lifts up the baton. And the band who had just been playing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Yeah. They once again play the first note of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. They're a one trick pony. that's the only song they know uh and they're instead of taking five you know

while the conductor goes to his car they're like follow whoever has the baton and it's a very this is sort of like what i i think this is a very iconic gag but but I'm not sure. I also feel like this is maybe a hundred year old gag. Yeah, because I feel like there's the same gag from Bugs Bunny. Yeah. It's a gag as all this time, but it's classic. He waves it and the band is playing note by note. He goes slow and then he goes fast and then he pauses and the band is like, you see,

they're like, uh, fingers trembling for the next note and then very fast. And then kind of back, like he bounces back and forth. He does a silly dance. And then he goes really gracefully and he like pretends to cry and then uh doesn't he he starts them into a well first he does a volume knob

the oh yeah the volume knob uh and the band's supposed to know what that means that's not a traditional but they got it they got it and then he keeps conducting and there's no sound and he realizes oh i gotta turn the volume back up and then he makes them hold one note very long while he kind of like rubs his chin like what happens next oh yeah moves the baton and then for some reason he milked everything out of that did every he we see a quick cutaway of the uh the maestro from before in his car trying on the pearls that's really just like i was just like what the hell but that's good i'm glad he got to do you got to get a laugh yeah he gets a laugh that's right he got to have like this is part of the salvation army protocols like yeah

i'll take it back to my car and then any jewelry you can try on and uh then bean starts he starts getting in a groove with the band he starts doing a real jazz number is it a jazz number or is it a jazzy version of oh it's a gentleman again and uh and he's doing stuff he's like twitching his nose and they're hitting the notes on him twitching his nose yeah and people are loving it the crowd is into it yeah oh absolutely this is a this is beans time to shine he didn't even know that this opportunity was coming but damned if he doesn't make the best use of it right yeah um he uh then the conductor comes back the crowd applauds uh and mr bean walks away and he he goes to buy a christmas tree but the they've just sold the last christmas tree the last two yeah this guy picks up two

christmas trees which is like i i they could have maybe set up that he was like on his way to get a christmas tree and then he spent that time jazz yeah that's one thing like hey if i were if we're gonna go if if hindsight is 2020 maybe put in a little bit of That Yeah a little bit of lay the pipe Yeah lay a little bit of pipe there So then Yeah he missed out on the last two trees So I guess

At this point Mr. Bean's not going to have a Christmas tree Yeah the trees that they were selling Were about three feet tall Yeah Tiny little trees Tiny trees But then Holy shit does Mr. Bean get an idea

Well I don't know I don't know what's happening All I know is we see a wide shot of the Town square Yeah It's bustling and there's a giant Christmas tree Covered in lights in the background It starts kind of weaving and wobbling. Unlike Weevils.

Then it falls down. It does fall down. Yeah, it does fall down. It stays down. And we don't know for sure at this point that Mr. Bean has done anything. This could have been anybody who knocked this down. At this point, it's all hearsay. It's all circumstantial evidence.

Heck, even the next shot, we don't know he did anything. We just know he's driving away with a gigantic 30-foot Christmas tree on top of his car that's still plugged in. All the lights are still plugged in. They're all plugged in, and it's on this mini, so it's as hilarious as you might imagine. And, yeah, it's plugged in. He drives just far enough away to unplug the lights and then disappears into the night then we're done we're done with the mr bean end of outdoor mr bean now live in studio mr bean takes over we're back next we are back in his

apartment uh and can i say that his apartment is much better yeah i will say that it is different yeah the bed's in a different place but i would say it is still the same apartment but it's i assume that his old apartment didn't have a kitchen because we never saw him doing any kitchen stuff huh you're right yeah yeah but it's always his apartment it's always his apartment yeah uh he doesn't have his 18 bed sheets on anymore no that's weird i thought they were uh uh like a stalwart yeah but they they uh he still has who's the singer uh shirley bassey yeah still has a shirley bassey picture by his bed um but right now we're not by his bed no he's just put it he's just put in a christmas tree small kind of scrawny looking

christmas tree and in my head i was like what the fuck man why does he need a tiny christmas tree he just stole a huge christmas tree were you like that i was because i was like did they forget that they did this whole gag so this is um this is christmas eve so which makes me think this happened right after he got home yes yeah he he gets home and he unbeknownst to us he hangs the one ornament that one ornament he bought on his christmas tree so there's continuity not every episode has continuity no you're right this is all the same night act to act so that's why i thought it was like christmas some other time yeah but then he reaches out the window and we see him from the outside and the rest of the huge christmas tree is leading up against the building

and he just pushes it and tips it over he only needed that little three feet at the top of it and speaking of laying pipe what was it take to get that top of the tree off it's a saw so the saw is present in the apartment speaking of laying pipe if he gives Irma that ring. So yeah, he is all set up for Christmas. Then he... That is absolutely...

Because I literally, later in the episode, when he gets the saw, I'm like, why? Why did he get the saw? So I guess he's laying pipe i just don't know what he was going to use it for then later yeah yeah uh he you know it's christmas

eve so he's finishing his christmas cards yep and then uh walks outside presumably to go mail them yeah he licks them that gets a laugh he he has three envelopes he goes into the hallway we see the door close and then we see three envelopes come through his mail slot yeah and uh and then he does a hilarious thing that he's done before i think do we see him in the restaurant episode we seen that one yet rising himself like yeah surprising himself yeah that rings a bell because doesn't he like he puts a card oh yeah on a table a birthday card for himself yes that's very sad and then this is very sad this is very sad he sent himself three christmas cards and he opens them and he's so excited and he hangs them on a line, like some twine going across his mantle.

Yeah. And they're not the only three. No, he's done this for himself before. Very sad. This is a sad one. He's probably gone through all the ones that you can buy in one package. And so, yes, this is very sad. Yeah, they're all identical.

All of this is very sad they're all identical all of this is very sad yeah then he goes to his closet and opens a dusty box of christmas crackers does he blow dust off of them he does he blows dust off he's had them he's had them since last christmas and maybe the christmas before maybe he only does one a year because he's a little old. Do you do, is Christmas crackers something your family did? Yeah. Yeah. And usually they would contain a crown, paper crown. A paper crown, yeah. Some sort of, kind of like a fortune.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, a little fortune. Or a riddle. Riddle, that's right. Yeah, a riddle. And then, yeah, a tiny toy. And then everybody would trade which one they uh they wanted did you open them together yeah we we would do it at dinner yeah we would do it at dinner everyone out there

at their place setting gets a bowl we start every christmas dinner with fruit salad fruit salad okay uh and then you uh your your plate and your dishes and your napkin and a cracker and then you take your cracker and you fold your arms so that you're holding one end of yours and one end of the person across and then you pull up you pull your arms apart and they all crack and then most of them don't yeah and it's like a little it's like uh you know old cap guns yeah yeah a little bit of gun powder yeah and it's fun and so he tries to do one without any dinner or anything he just tries to do one straight out of the box it's a dud it's a dud and then he takes he pulls all the uh cracking mechanisms all the like crack strips out of all of them and puts them all into one

wrapper to create like a super cracker. Yeah. And then he, that's enough of that for now. I mean, speaking of super crackers, have you seen, you know,

the soup show? What was it called again? Love soup. Have you seen love soup? Yeah. After we finish all the the mr bean episodes do you want to do a love soup yeah we'll do a love soup episode oh no a whole series of love soup a whole series of love soup we'll also do all the richard curtis films in order so mr bean then continues on his christmas eve duties uh-huh and he puts yeah we actually it's later now because we see him make the cracker and then we it like good you know we see outside and

then he's in his pajamas in the next shot yeah he's in his pajamas he's got a robe with a kind of a rope that's holding it closed and he's checking he's hanging his stocking yeah he hangs the stockings in a weird way which i thought if i was building a set i would put little hooks for him to hang them on yeah yeah he has them on the mantle he has books yeah and he's using the like he lifts up some books and puts the tip of the the uh the top of the stocking under the books just to hold it in place yeah and he for sure didn't have a fireplace before this is a new addition maybe he got a promotion oh yeah maybe that maybe that's why he could afford that fancy decoration and not have to sweat it too much. Yeah.

He's putting up stockings and he puts up one for himself. Big, big red one. Puts up a tinier one for Bear. For Teddy. And then he points to Teddy to be like, whose is whose? This is mine. This is yours. Whose is whose? This is mine.

This is yours. And he takes a tiny little stocking and hangs it in front of the mouse hole in his wall. And he says, meow. And then he laughs. Yeah. And that's the first dialogue I attribute to him. And then he goes to sit down. He has a glass of wine. Yeah, he's got a glass of wine.

Have we ever seen, he gets wine at the restaurant, but does he hate it? I forget. I don't think that he ever drinks it because he ends up putting meat in it at some point. So yeah, he's sitting there. He wants to relax with some christmas class he pours wine he says cheers and he he turns on the tv and it's all violent things and scary things and so he turns it off he's he does that thing he does that facial expression where he's like oh you know kind of like oh fuck that kind of he does a great disappointed expression and then luckily for him there's some

uh neighborhood kids they're caroling outside of his door i'm singing away in a manger a classic holiday classic with top and top 10 manger songs oh are you kidding me there's yeah that uh god rest you merry gentlemen uh three wise men i mean what are the songs about There's, yeah, that, God Rest You Merry Gentlemen, Three Wise Men. I mean, what are the songs about the frickin' manger? I guess Silent Night. Silent, yeah, Silent Night. We, Soylent Green. Soylent Green.

Little Drummer Boy, We Three Kings. Stranger Danger, Stranger Manger. Yeah. Yeah, I think those are all of them Yeah These kids Cute as buttons These kids Singing away

He decides I'm not gonna By the way I paused I was watching this on Amazon Prime And you know how they have x-ray Like if you pause something on Amazon Prime The pictures of all the actors in it like it'll show you who's acting and it had rowan atkinson it had one of the little girls who

was a singer and it had teddy teddy who's who's uh headshot credit his headshot was him from this. Nice. So, he brings his chair over to the door and his wine and his, like, candies, Christmas candies. He's eating chocolates and he's sort of getting sleepy. Yeah. And then he walks over to the door. Because in my head, I was like, what's customary? Did they give him money? And he brings over the box of chocolates to the kids. I was like, oh, yes.

Give them some chocolates. Halloween style. But right as the song ends. See you you never slams the door in their faces big pop from the audience oh the audience loves it and then we rejoin him christmas morning oh he is excited he gets out of bed he does the funniest little dance he runs around the apartment a little bit it's probably my favorite scene in the whole yeah there's bells ringing outside it's freaking britain christmas morning oh yeah no kidding ding freaking dong and he's super excited super excited he wants to open his stocking uh first he opens teddy's he opens teddy's first which is very kind of him and uh there's a little box inside and he opens up the little box there's teddy's eyes yeah it's like i didn't realize he

didn't have his eyes before yeah and he puts them in and then he uh he holds up three fingers to test teddy's vision and then teddy whispers in his ear and he goes, you know, like, right, there's three. I mean, I'll tell you exactly what he said. Yes, please. Well, first he said, look, Teddy, what Santa Claus brought you. Let's see now. There we go. Yes.

Oh, wait. And then, yeah, that's it. He holds up the three and he says, there we go. Yes. Yes. Okay. And then he goes over to check on his little mouse friend. No, no, no. First he opens his sock. Oh, he opens his.

Okay. He opens up his sock. Classic. This is classic. I don't know if this is a hundred year old joke, but it's perfect. It is perfect. He reaches into the sock. What's in there? His other sock yeah and he says oh christmas socks and my family has been saying christmas socks for let's say a little over two decades now about what just

opening a christmas present if you get socks everybody says it like Mr. Bean. Oh, okay. Oh, by the way, this episode, it's turning 30. Oh, shit. There you go. This episode can drive now. Yeah, that's right. And vote. This year, it's turning 30. Wow.

Yeah. So it might have been 30 years you've been saying Christmas socks. Probably. And so then he gets the socks. He loves them. Goes over to his little friend the mouse, tiny little stocking, what's inside? What you'd imagine

would be inside, a little piece of cheese and then you think oh that's cute, he's giving the mouse some cheese not so quick. He attaches it to a very mean and big and heavy duty mousetrap. Yeah like a saw esque mousetrap

and then he big and heavy duty mousetrap. Yeah. Like a saw ask mousetrap. Yeah. And, uh, and then he, he goes about his day. He doesn't. Now do we cut to him later in the day? Later.

Yeah. We're, we're basically at dinnertime. Teddy's watching TV with the glasses on. I didn't know Teddy needed glasses. This is the shot that uses Teddy's's headshot in X-Ray. That's good. The table is set.

Bean is carrying a cracker, and he looks at the cracker and goes, boom. And then, you know, it's Christmas Day, late evening. He's just starting the turkey. This is also a point I was going to make. He's in the kitchen. He has an enormous turkey.

This could feed his entire building. He cuts the string off the leg. The string off and the legs flop open. And it's obscene, you know, like, and I was like, is this a goose?

Is it? I, on Wikipedia, they call it a Turkey on Wikipedia and they, uh, but it's enormous. Like, is this a real,

was this a prop Turkey? Cause the movement of the legs is quite true to how, uh, yeah. The only reason I think it is a prop Turkey is at one point he's holding it, uh, The movement of the legs is quite true to how... Yeah. The only reason I think it is a prop turkey is at one point he's holding it in front of the camera and it's got like a little bit of a fabric-y texture. But that's the only way I know that it's a prop. Also, the fact that he didn't die of salmonella. So he's starting from scratch, basically.

He opens his turkey, starts stuffing, stuffing in there there he's got a big bowl of stuff in there i don't know that i've ever really noticed him wearing a watch but i i you know he probably has i've i actually come to think of it i i can picture him like looking at his watch yeah or tapping it and listening to the mechanism he's got a digital watch in this one and he's using his watch hand his left hand to stuff and he's still wearing like a whole suit like he's using his like suited yeah this is this is roll up your sleeves work yeah and mr bean's not at all but he uh you can see where where the gag happens because he's using the left hand and then he's got to bring in the right hand and he's clearly unhooking his watch at this point that's right and then so he's stuffing the turkey he pulls his hand out uh looks at his wrist and his watch is missing ah shit uh now you

know you think it would be as simple as just sticking your arm back and feeling around for the watch yeah considering he's been at this for 10 seconds but he can't he can't seem to find it so uh we see nothing out he gets a flashlight and it's not too long before he puts his whole head in there to see what's really fast he looks closer it's he doesn't even give it a second thought he looks closer and then closer and closer and then his head's inside. Yeah, and then he's running around the kitchen with this turkey on his head. First of all, his head is going in

and then you see outside, Irma is ringing the doorbell. That's right. And she's so excited. She could probably smell the raw turkey. And he's running around back and forth. And this is iconic this is like friends rip this off twice many many years later um totally and he's bumping into the wall he

crashes around the door opens and he somehow his idea is to have a towel on his head yeah like he's just out of the shower yeah i'm all dressed but don't i'm i just need my hair it's very wet she doesn't seem to notice that the towel is like well she's excited she's getting engaged that's right she thinks tonight is the night and then he i guess his plan is that he's gonna saw the turkey off of his head well the first thing she does is hang up mistletoe which is like she is on an absolute different plane yeah and she's she's fucking horny for mr bean there's no no doubt about it he offers her some tea um and then he he says if you're having summer and he goes well i might yeah he says well i might and then she says got the turkey on nice and that gets a big laugh i think it i can't think of

another like verbal joke in all of mr bean no that's like a double entendre yeah you got the turkey on of course you can't smell the turkey so how the hell she should be like very concerned like huh you had the turkey i've had a cold lately so i my sense of smell is a little dull but it doesn't smell like a turkey's been cooking for six hours yeah exactly and then he does at some point he grabs the saw right yeah he saw the turkey off his head yeah was he gonna saw his head off so they still haven't seen each other he goes to the closet and grabs a saw and what and then like makes his way with a turkey on his head and a saw in his hand toward the kitchen and this is really check off saw like we saw the we saw saw well you're seeing saw again you said

you said that he saw the christmas tree we never needed to see the saw again um yeah so he he's gonna cut this off and then is that is he i don't know where is he gonna start i don't know i mean this is a very bad plan he's got for sure and uh anyway got the saw she sees him freaks out yeah spaints yeah this is uh and then this is kind of a funny thing because usually irma doesn't get involved in the hijinks yeah this time she's gotta she's gotta just go with the flow yeah so the next shot we see is later and all of his furniture he's lying on the ground underneath all the furniture in the apartment on his head and erma's trying to pull him from underneath and this is very like i say this is erma being in the silliest situation i think we've ever seen her yeah uh

she's part of the chaos this is maybe why we never see her again i mean it's almost certainly why then she does she like has i don't know what it is it's like some sort of fireplace thing yeah holding thing or something some old british metal some sort of british metal thing it's attached to the turkey on a row like it's very much the way you would you know pull out a loose tooth yes yeah this is the the slamming door theory of removal. Turkey goes flying off. Mr. Bean nearly goes out the window. Turkey comes off with a hilarious pop noise. He opens his mouth. He's got his watch in his mouth. They did a good job of having his hair be all greasy.

Yeah, that was fun. I noticed that as well. And then cut to later they're eating cranberry sandwiches and sliced carrots which we don't see what happened do we assume he made this or she made this i think he made it i don't know like in mr bean's world why would he just go and get that turkey off the sidewalk and then just eat it and then have stones be in your mouth like why wouldn't that be something he would do well also maybe uh they they real maybe it's cooking and they realized huh this won't be ready until boxing i forgot that uh turkeys uh they're not done in five minutes so they're having little sandwiches and carrots and then it's present time yeah oh she has a bandage on her head i guess from fainting

yeah old-timey bandage too the the classic white x on yeah this is a very much a cartoon episode yes yeah exactly trying to pull someone body like pull someone's body away out of a turkey under a bunch of furniture is is absolutely it's absolutely mad yeah it's very daffy duck kind of situation he would get himself into two classic cartoon comparisons there uh bugs doing the orchestra happy duck trying to get his head out of a turkey and then at one point he eats bart simpson's shorts yeah which is out of left field because the simpsons only just debuted at that point yeah and the simpsons and no point in the simpsons do they actually do it yeah yeah exactly he's always threatening them to do it yeah it's more of like just uh it's an idea yes yeah here's an idea eat my short so she goes over to the bed she's got uh she's got a big present

he's massive present for mr bean he opens it up no first she puts it behind her back and makes a kissy face like you gotta oh yeah you kiss tax and and then he says whoa look over there and she turns away and then yay he gets himself his present uh which is a uh uh like a model ship. Yeah. Oh, look, a classic ship. And he's, he opens it up. He's so excited. Look at all the bits and stuff. Look at all those guns.

Yeah. It's practically a monologue in bean world. So the, in the last episode, there were 13 words spoken. The least ever is six. The most ever has been 47 i think okay this one 127 words spoken i know this is like the least international one this is this is for english speakers only yeah that's true and christians only too that's true yeah uh he he's so excited about it and she's kind of like okay well yeah for me yeah he notices her and he gets her present and um which i forgot what this is i thought it's like oh he got her a record because it's oh yeah it's like a record yeah well she thinks it's a ring and then when she sees that it's like a big flat wrapped you know uh rectangle yeah she's disappointed and she opens it up

and this is the best this is the best payoff in all of bean i mean it's a better payoff if you didn't allude if you didn't lead with the this is what beans looking at oh yeah yeah but i feel like the real gag is just around the corner that's true he's got he's got the picture from the window advertising the couple yeah uh the woman the woman the guy the picture of the guy giving the woman a ring uh and then uh he's like showing her the features of it. It's got a cardboard thing on the back. So it can stand there or it can stand there or it can stand there. That's like the most, that's like, yeah, that is a monologue. Yeah.

And then she's super upset. Yeah. And he goes back to building his model. You can tell she's upset. And so he goes, he remembers. Oh, the main part. Yeah, don't cry. I forgot the main bit there.

And he takes a small little box. It's wrapped up. She unwrapped it. It's a ring box. It's a ring box. Here we go. Mr. Bean's growing up. Here we go.

Mr. Bean's about to take the plunge. She kisses him. He's she up. Here we go. Mr. Bean's about to take the plunge. She kisses him. He's she she squeezes his cheeks. His cheeks. He doesn't like that. And then she opens it. And for all we know, there's the fucking ring. Yeah, it is.

Mr. Bean freaking came through. Like through the next episode, he's going to be married. When, you know, he has a lot of fun. He's kind of chaotic. But in the end, he does the right thing. He, you know, he's in it for the long haul. He's in it for true love. Yeah.

And then he pulls the ring out. Next episode, Mr. Bean's wedding. Oh, my God. Oh, God, let's do do it let's write fanfic okay let next time we meet for a bean episode we will have done a little oh god a little fanfic okay um so she pulls the ring out is it a ring it's not a ring not a ring at all it's a little hook with a screw on it yeah and he shows her how it works

it's to hang up the picture in case you don't want to have it on the cardboard stand it is the funniest fucking thing because I forgot that it was the thing and then I was like doesn't he give her a ring and then I was like

what is and then when she pulls it out i laughed so hard because i had no idea what it was he might as well be saying you dumb bitch you love me and then she storms the fuck out of the place yeah oh and and we never see her again never see her again they were a little on the verge of getting engaged and then she's out of his life forever forever and uh you know he uh he has kind of almost like a soliloquy where he's like, I don't understand. He says, what's wrong with it? Yeah. Oh, and then he looks at the he he looks at the cracker. Yeah. And he says, oh, we forgot.

And he says, Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean. He calls himself Mr. Bean, which is fantastic. Merry Christmas, Douglas Bean. himself mr bean which is fantastic merry christmas douglas bean and uh then we just see an exterior of a beans apartment building giant blast yeah the cracker explodes and that's it mr bean's dead hermicov's gone home mr bean's dead she'll be suspected it is murder absolutely the last person to see him alive oh and she was a jilted lover i see yeah it's jilted lover also there's she brought an axe or a sorry a saw you can see him trying to get that turkey off with an axe for sure um why not a saw is like as good as a drill at this point

oh but that ring gag fuck man oh man that packed a bunch uh what do we rate this out of five five yeah it's a five out of five do you have a favorite gag i think the ring gag the ring gag like really but also christmas socks is like nostalgia i mean yeah and the conducting the conducting yeah the major is good the the fucking turkey on the head iconic as it comes but for me favorite gag gotta be pulling on santa's beard heck even the the the guy putting on the necklace it's just like such an unexpected shot everybody's getting a little getting a little gag in this even irma she gets to have a little fun yeah uh before being devastated so we'll uh thanks everyone for listening uh happy christmas happy christmas

keep the bean news coming we will see you in the new year with our Bean there, doesn't that? We'll be back all the time with the normal stuff. Yeah, yeah. But thanks for being a member. We love you very much. In January, I want to have a bunch of suggestions of Mr. Bean's first name. Yes. I want, well, we're going to be writing some fanfic, apparently.

And also, if you have some fanfic, yeah, it be mr bean's wedding okay yeah and also i am boy i was gonna ask for like mr bean pageant ideas but i feel like by then we will have forgotten no not the strongest bit but yeah mr bean fanfic is what we're looking for if If you have some ideas, send them our way. SBY at MaximumFun.org Yeah, so that's another great episode, I think. Thanks for joining us on Being There, Done That. Bye.

Bye. Christmas sucks.