Stop Podcasting Yourself - Bonus Episode - LIVE from Calgary

Episode Date: January 20, 2013

Recorded live from the YYComedy Festival in Calgary, Alberta on September 27, 2012 with guests Ryan Belleville, Amanda Brooke Perrin, and Graham's dad.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Welcome, Tom and everybody. Come together. Here we go. Here we go! Welcome down to a very special episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself here at the YY Comedy Festival.

My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man that I spent the whole day with, an entire day in paradise with, Mr. Dave Shumka! Hello! Hello! Hello. Hello, people of Calgary. Yeah, absolutely. This sounds a little... This sounds high, right? You sound hot. I sound a little hot.

You think? That's why I'm not wearing a sleeve. Am I right? I think it's fine. Guys, I'm flouting the laws of this place. There's a sign on the door that says no sleeveless shirts. I mean, now what are you going to do about it?

Graham, why... YYC. Yeah. Good question. Why are you dressed that way? Because it makes me feel like a real man. No. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Dave Shumka. This is my friend, Graham Clark. Oh, everybody. Welcome to Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Dave Shumka. This is my friend Graham Clark. Oh, hello. Does it feel like we're starting over? Nope. Every day feels like starting over. Right?

Sheryl Crow. In the future, maybe. She didn't write a song called Every Day's Like Starting Over. She did Every Day's a Whining Road. Yeah, same thing. Sheryl Crow. These chairs are weird. Yeah, same thing. Trail Crawl. These chairs are weird. Yeah, get comfy.

Guys, this is probably the sexiest venue we've ever played. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really oozes sexuality. Except for the poster of the baby doll's head, which is... Illuminated and terrified. Which is what we in the business call a boner killer. Yeah.

Oh, Jesus. Wow. That was a laugh-McCoffer or something. Is everything okay? Yeah, I'm great. This is really cozy. We've got Sky... This table's brought to you by Sky Vodka.

No one can see that. Oh, really? Because that's all I'm going to see all night. It's a real... The table up here on stage is an enormous advertisement for Sky Vodka. Absolutely. The... Get with the sky.

Yeah. Do it in the sky. Right? My Ohio Club. All right. Yeah. Right? Mile high club. All right. Yeah. Now, Dave. Yeah.

We should, should we get to know us? I, or, well, you know what? You know what? I think I'll just chill.

You know what? Here, let's get to know us. Nothing's as refreshing as Skybox. Get to know us. There we go. Now we're rolling.

Things are happening. Okay. Dave. All right. So we're here in Calgary. We sure are. Hello, Calgary. Do we know we're here yet?

We're not from here. Hey, Calgary. Hi, Calgary. Hi, Calgary. Welcome. Graham and I. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you.

We need more hooting. Yeah. Great. Thanks. Graham and I are the hosts of Stop Podcasting Yourself. We normally operate out of Vancouver. Yeah. We came here because we heard that there's a sports bar that really wants to host

a podcast. But we also heard that it was like, you know, half sports bar, half maybe a surfer could drop by and feel kind of comfortable. It's a tiki sports bar. Finally.

And we're thrilled to be here. We sold the place and we finally and you know try the Maui Waui and we're happy we're thrilled to be here we sold the place out we have so much power here

that we were able to negotiate having most of the TVs turned off we got every we got every TV but two

yeah which is pretty good because I think all of our paying customers came in here and they were like We got every TV but two. Yeah. Which is pretty good. Because I think all of our paying customers came in here and they were like, I really want to keep an eye on these Baltimore Ravens. Well, yeah. With this ref situation. Yeah, sure. You can't afford not to.

I don't want to be left out of the loop when there's ref news for the next three days. Also, probably the first place we've played in with a Buck Hunter video game. We're moving on up. This is a Buck Hunter video game that's world edition, so you can shoot a lemur in the face or a tiger that's just

minding its own business. And what was it? It was geckos or something? There were iguanae. Iguana that were just peacefully sitting on a rock? Yeah, there were scorpions. Yeah, shooting scorpions, a tradition in New Mexico, I believe. What kind of hunter shoots a scorpion? You can't eat it.

Oh, the ultimate. Oh, yeah. The predator shooting predator. Yeah. Like the movie Predator. I haven't seen Predator. Is there a scene where it's Predator on Predator. I haven't seen Predator. Is there a scene where it's Predator on Predator? Yep.

It's hot. Dave and I flew in this morning. Graham, why are you talking about why you're dressed like a ridiculous... Why aren't I talking about it? Yeah, you have the Mr. T physique. Absolutely. Like his physique now, as an old man.

Like current Mr. T. I mean, yeah, sort of Mr. T today, but also... Wouldn't that be a great show, Mr. T today? It's just him talking about, you know, different fabrics. What fabrics are softest. Sure. Welcome to Mr. T today. Is that Mr. T's thing?

No, but like it would be like a show aimed at women. Right? Like Housewives and stuff, but it's hosted by Mr. T. So it's like, yeah, it's like that Nate Berkus show. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he could do, maybe he could just slowly phase in, like Martha Stewart, if she just phased in Mr. T occasionally. Yeah, like just, he comes by and makes a pound cake one day, and everybody's like, well, it turned out pretty good. It's hard to screw up a pound cake.

Because he pounds it so good. Yeah, exactly. He's going to give that cake a pounding. So you're dressed like Mr. T. You look fantastic. Thank you. I think that's all that needs to be said. All right.

Yep. I wanted to dress special for the Calgary audience. And, um... Yeah, so... You wore that six days ago for the Vancouver audience. Yep. But a lot of people haven't heard that episode yet. And, um... Yeah, so... You wore that six days ago for the Vancouver audience. Yep. But a lot of people haven't heard that episode yet,

so that's show business. Right? Like, you know that David Blaine doesn't come up with new tricks every time he does street magic. Sure. No, David Blaine fans. Ugh! The next 45 minutes of the show were intended to be David Blaine related. Yeah.

How do you guys feel about Criss Angel? I can switch over the reference. Still not great. No. Ooh, David Copperfield. That's all the magicians I can name. Penn and Teller. Yeah.

Who did he? Kreskin. Kreskin. Kreskin. Oh, guys. Who's the guy who... Ravine. Oh, you'll never forget Ravine. Yeah, Ravine was... Is he a hypnotist? He was...

He could help you quit smoking. He was named after, like, a ditch. Yeah, that's true. That's what his parents named him after What does your name mean, Ditch? It means the same name as in English language This is my brother, Pit Is that what a ravine is, a ditch? Is a ravine a ditch?

What is a ravine? What's a raven? Not a writing desk Good night, everybody! Yeah. Alright, so we're getting to know us. Here we are in Calgary. We came to Calgary.

Dave was really hoping to see a pair of truck nuts. Uh-huh. Zero spotted. Is that crazy? That seems it, does it seem like, like what is the truck, is truckuts high or low in this city? Low. Are you over it?

High. Somebody's like, nope, high. So maybe in that person's driveway. Six Nuts total. Yeah. Three pair. Can anything replace truck nuts? As the pickup truck accessory of choice?

Well, truck nuts, it seems like, picked up after horns on the front, right? I never saw that. Well, you didn't live, you didn't grow up in Calgary. There was, right? Horns on the front of a truck. That's a thing. You guys, I feel like, now we're being coy with each other.

We went and saw Ranchman's. We did a big tour of Calgary. Graham, I'm staying with Graham's family, who are lovely. They're amazing. But Dave also took a picture of me when I was 15, 16. Yeah, you were 15 years old. You had long, beautiful blonde hair. I looked like a Hanson.

Like an umbop. You looked like a Naomi Watts. Yeah. A young, naive Naomi Watts. And so you made it the background on your iPhone. Yeah. And you keep showing it to me every ten minutes and laughing. You have beautiful hair.

Absolutely. What did you use back then? Pantene Pro-V. Really? Yes. That was worth it. Yeah, so I'm staying with Graham's parents. We're staying.

I mean, you're not staying. No, I'm staying with Graham's parents. We're staying. I mean, you're not staying. No, I'm staying out in the backyard. Yeah. I'm gonna camp. And we, uh, uh, they showed us a good time today. They took us to, uh, well, they showed us the city. Yeah. We saw the upside-down church.

Yeah. Ooh! Yeah. Have you seen it? Do you know what? Vacation in your own city. Yeah. Why not that? Be a tourist in your own city. Why not that?

Be a tourist in your own town. Here are the places you need to see as far as I'm concerned. Ranchman's, which is a bar that has the Jamaican bobsled from Cool Runnings on the outside. Must see. Feel the rhythm, feel the ride. That's it? And then you go back to the airport.

And I'm good. You kiss the egg in front of it, took a picture. go back to the airport. Yeah. And I'm good. You kiss the egg in front of it, took a picture. Ooh, this is a deep reference and I feel like... Did you guys not watch Cool Runnings in school?

Because we had to watch it in school. In school? Yeah. Yeah. It was... It was on our final. Oh, man.

I say the sneeze laugh is my favorite of all laughs. What, yeah. How did the author of Cool Runnings use the theme of Jamaica? Discuss. Yeah. To make you feel like anything's possible. Yeah.

A plus. Plus, plus. So we saw the cool runnings, Bob Slade. We met Dougie Doug. See, why do I keep going back to a reference that literally four people were like, yeah, that's good. Go deeper into it. David Blaine was there.

What do we do after that? It's all a blur. Yeah, we saw, well, you saw the cityscape from a hill that's called Scottman's Hill because cheap people go there to see fireworks. So, attaboy, Scottish. Not like the rich

who have fireworks in their own living rooms. Exactly. Yeah. I imagine the rich are just really cool dudes who buy firecrackers and throw them at people's feet

in their own lounges. That's like exactly what Elvis Presley was. That's all he was. He was a rich guy that threw firecrackers at his friends and shot televisions. That was like a drug. He shot televisions. Stop it, you guys.

If I can hear five sneeze laughs tonight. We're up to two? We're going to get there. We're on pace. Absolutely. And then in Calgary, we went

to... What's the name? What's the word I'm thinking of Calgary yeah was that all we did we saw the hill we saw the upside down church

we saw the bobsled we saw the river we saw my high school we saw your high school yeah you went by and signed autographs

yeah for career day that's right. Yeah, so we had a hell of a time here in Cowtown. We're trying to figure out, is there any other nicknames for Calgary besides Cowtown? Nope. All right. Cowtown it is. Hey, Cowtown? Nope. Alright. Cowtown it is. Hey, Cowtown.

So Dave, what's, besides our adventure to Calgary, what's going on? We watched a show on the plane called Zoinked, which is a kids' show where entertainers come on and a bunch of kids give you the thumbs up or the thumbs down and if the kids give you the thumbs down

they dump goo on your head. How many career steps am I away from being on Zoinked? Oh, man. Forward or backward? That's three. Three sneeze laughs. Yeah. Because Zoinked is a it's a kids' show.

It's like the gong show for kids. Yeah. And they get people doing really weird, it's like buskers. Yeah. The, you know, the filthiest people on earth, buskers. Yeah. But you told me to watch it, and then I continued watching it. And, like, you watched, like, two seconds of it and then turned it off.

And I was watching it like, those guys. Those kids with their slime. So I watched it most of the flight. Then it fell asleep. So besides Zoinked and the Calgary tour, what else is going on, man? I don't know what's going on with you. I saw a guy. I thought we'd get more out of the Calgary tour.

We did. We got everything we needed No, I mean Time-wise Yeah Well, here's the thing I was in Vancouver I was discussing with somebody

That saw somebody with a tattoo On their forearm That said, life sucks And write self-fulfilling prophecy If you're going to write that on their forearm that said, life sucks. And write self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're going to write that on your forearm, that's all your possible rolled-up sleeve jobs are gone. Tugboat captain. Yeah, guy who checks your oil.

Yeah. Yeah. Billy Joel backup singer. Lawyer working long hours. Absolutely. Mitt Romney these are all jobs he has completely cut himself off from

why do the campaign politicians roll up their sleeves same reason I cut mine off credibility when we walked in here today there was a sign with a dress code saying, specifically, no sleeveless shirts. No. And I said some sleeveless shirts. Yeah, one.

Two. Well, one sleeveless jacket. What if you wore, like, sleeves, but then your jacket was sleeveless? Would that still send the message of like, I'm still ready to rumble. Yeah. I mean, I think you just invented the vest. It's time to reinvent the vest.

Yeah. That would be a funny saying for like fashion designers. Like, you know how they say, we're not reinventing the wheel. Like guys, we're not reinventing the vest. All right. Just put a pocket on it. We were talking about this life sucks tattoo

and my suggestion I was like, he's like, oh, he's going to have to live with that for a long time. And I was like, well, no, if he gets married, he can change it to my wife sucks. Yeah. And if he gets divorced, he can change it to my wife sucks. Yeah. Yeah.

And then if he gets divorced, he can change it to my ex-wife sucks. I wish I had met this guy in person. I really could have said him on the right path. Yeah, you can change that

a million ways. A life sucks tattoo is not a death sentence or a life sentence. What would you change it to? Life sucks. I would change the ass in sucks to an eight.

And then life a-ducks. I get it. Or, you know, you could do ducks. You could do... Life ducks. Life ducks. And then just have a tattoo of a duck on your face. Uh-huh. For life. Yeah. Five ducks on your face. Also, you saw Magpie today, which blew your mind.

I've never seen a magpie. He's never seen a magpie. I maybe have, I don't know. No, but he was like, quote Dave, hey bird, nice job bird. Which is great. Do we remember what the noun for a bunch of magpies is? It's a murder. No, it's a murder of crows.

It was like a hymn of... Yeah. No, it was... People don't want me to look stuff up. No, yeah, they do. Absolutely. I'll remember it. Parliament of owls.

Yeah. A zoot suit of riots. Yeah. a zoot suit of riots it was like a prettiness of doves we looked them all up today we were on magpie yeah we went we were on a magpie high

I missed that TV show of magpie high yeah with all the magpies in the high school I miss that TV show, Magpie High. Yeah, with all the magpies in the high school. This is another thing that happened to me in Vancouver. You know what their mascot was? A human? Yep. Go humans!

And it's a magpie in a human costume. Yeah. I'd watch that show. It's all ill-fitting because of his weird butt. Another thing that happened to me in Vancouver is I was doing a show a couple nights ago, and I caught a cab to the show. And the cab driver that picked me up, as soon as I got in, he asked me if I was Sikh

because of the beard. And I live in Little India in Vancouver. Wait, was he blind? Yeah. And I was like, eyes on the road. I mean, never mind. Because he's just swerving all over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Four.

I think we can break a hundred. Anyways, he, right away, I was like, oh, no, I'm not Sikh, but I really like the turban. This is a good look. And then he was like the whole ride trying to be like, you look good in a turban. And I was like, yeah, you're not wrong. Aren't there... Do Sikhs, do they go door to door? Or like, do they

go fruit? Yeah. They wait until they see somebody with a juicy beard. They're like, are you tired of justifying that to people? Why don't you throw some religion behind that now? He really was.

He was saying, like, you can pick any color of turban. Like, he was telling you can tell a lot about a person by the way that they tie their turban. Like, there's different caste system where it comes from. And so, like, poor people tie their turban a different way than rich people. Really? Yeah. This was all news. And then to see it, like, when it seemed like I was kind of like wavering on it,

he said, and you get to carry a dagger. Like that was the... Let me slide that in there. So what steps do you need to take to become a Sikh? Because it's happening. Yeah, absolutely. How many white Sikhs are there? Well, that's what I said.

I was like, that would look shitty, right, if a white person was walking around with a turban. And he said one of the main preacher guys from Toronto is a white dude, and he has his own television show. And I looked him up, and he's a white guy with a beard and a turban. And he's great. He's doing great. Yeah.

I bet he's kind of an asshole. I feel like he's the opposite of great I feel like he's kind of doing it for attention To get women Fair enough Yeah I mean we've all toyed with the idea Of wearing a turban

Every time I come out of the shower I think about it This guy was really He really wanted me in the scene time I come out of the shower, I think about it. Yeah. This guy was really, he really wanted me in the scene. Why? Who wants you? Oh, come on. I love Graham. Don't let him ruin your night at the

Jägermeister Lounge. I'm staring. That's all I can see is Jägermeister Lounge. Jägermeister and Lounge don't go together. Yeah. I'm staring. That's all I can see is Jägermeister lounge. Jägermeister and lounge don't go together. Yeah, maybe like a Jägermeister car burning. Yeah. A Jägermeister ravine.

Yeah. Jägermeister cell. Yeah. Yeah. Or where do you just pass out on the ground? He was found dead in a... Lounge. Very classy. Yeah, his friends were like,

it was a surprisingly classy death. Yeah. Guys. Are things going all right? This is quite a show you've got ahead of you. Are you ready? Can you handle it? All right.

All right, well, let's bring out our first guest of the show. This guy, very, very funny man, born and raised here in Calgary, lives in Los Angeles now, has been on multiple television shows and in movies and just love this guy so glad to have him here on the podcast please welcome the stage mr. Ryan Belleville everybody by the fireplace yeah, that's classy. There's a fake fireplace back here. This is really where you want to host an address from.

Oh, this is nice. And it sounds so much better from here. Oh, really? Why? Does it sound horrible in there? They have the loudest dishwasher in the... It's like a single... Is it just a guy yelling while he washes dishes?

He's like, I love washing dishes! Keep it down, dishwashing beast! I can't control it! Sons are so much fun! No, they have like one of those single glass washers, and then every time they put it in, it's like, wee! It's really, people in the back can attest, it's noisy, right? Yeah.

But that lets you know it's working. That's how you know. That's why your glasses are so clean. So next time you complain, look in your glass. I don't know. It was worth it. Ryan Belville,

welcome to the show. I've never been to the Voodoo Lounge before either. Who has? I think they're all in Stoners. It's awesome. If I was on Mushrooms right now, I would be so all these gums. It's awesome. If I was on mushrooms right now, I would be so upset by this bar. What about the Monster Energy Drink logo in the corner? That would probably do it.

That would take care of seven kids. The world's tiniest surfboards that are randomly strapped. The fact that it's called voodoo but it's clearly a Hawaiian theme also kind of fucks me up. Yeah. Totally religiously off the mark on that one.

Like you were expecting some real authenticity. Yeah. Walking to the voodoo lounge. Where are my Haitians at? I do. That's right. An older Creole lady tossing bones in the corner.

She's optimized. She works Fridays and Saturdays. Thursday they bring in the loud dishwasher. Well, thank you for coming. My pleasure. What's going on? What's new? What's exciting? I'm at the YYC That's exciting. A new comedy festival.

Sure. In Calgary. It's a city that. A new comedy festival. Sure. In Calgary. Absolutely. It's a city that deserves a good comedy festival. Yeah. There was a faux comedy festival going on here before. You mean faux like the soup.

It was a faux. It was. It was a soup festival where they tell jokes. Is that, yeah. Now, you've come up here. You live in Los Angeles Right?

Yes, sorry I'm still caught up on comedy Oh, full comedy? Well, yeah Let's get into it Do you want chicken or pork? Yeah Or impressionist

Or ventriloquist Oh, there we go Those are the two categories Of comedy as I know it Yeah That's it It starts at ventriloquist Yeah

It ends at impressionist Yeah And everything in between, which is nonsense. It's nonsense. I don't even hear it. Are there any impressionist ventriloquists? The answer is yes, of course.

There must be that thing. And if so, how much would you pay to bring them to Calgary for the next festival? I'm hearing zero so far. How much would you pay to bring him to Calgary for the next festival? I'm hearing zero so far. How much would you pay to have Dave rip off one of these Jim Beam guitars and play his song? That's a solid bid. They'd pay claps. Those are the finest of guitars, too, the Jim Beam guitars.

Yeah, absolutely. Jim Beam, a lot of people don't know, before he got into alcohol, he was a guitar maker. A world quality guitar maker. Well, actually he started out in beams, which is weird. If I hollow out this beam, put some strings on it, it's going to make a mighty fine instrument. And it wasn't It was just a beam with strings on it Fuck it, let's switch to guitars

The beam-a-doodle's not gonna take off at all The string beam is bullshit First of all, stupid You gotta throw the ballerina off Gymnast Gymnast Oh, if only Gym was somewhere in the name to remind you.

The ballerina. We're getting rid of the orchestra. We're getting some of these beam doodles in. Would you not go see... Beam doodles. Would you not go see gymnastics in a theater? No. Okay.

No, no. Would you pay to go see? I'd go see the beam part. I wouldn't go see, like, the bars. Yeah. What if the gymnastics was set to the music of the Beatles? It's a little thing called Cirque du Soleil. Right?

That's just gymnastics. I think we settled it. Now, Ryan, you came up from Los Angeles, where you live with your wife and kid, and you've got this right in your eye. Should I take the mic off and do casual like you? No, you're cool, whatever. You're right, I am cool, whatever.

Whatever comes our way, I'm cool. Let me clarify, I don't actually live in L.A. anymore. Where do you live in? I live in Toronto. Oh, okay. The L.A. of Canada. in L.A. anymore. Where do you live in? I live in Toronto. Oh, okay. My apologies. The L.A. of Canada. The L.A.

That's right. It's just like L.A. Ooh la la. But I moved back to do the show Almost Heroes and Showcase with my brother, which was canceled, and now I'm still in Toronto. That's how it goes, man. It is, yeah. That's what happened to Jim Beam

He followed his love all the way to Toronto For a brief stint I can't believe I know this much I don't even read much Wikipedia But I know a lot about Jim Beam I hope one of your listeners goes onto Wikipedia And changes Jim Beam's page

That could happen tonight That could be instant. That's the great thing about Wikipedia. It's open to jerks. Year round. The other day I was looking up for information on the singing sensation Kesha. Oh, sure. And the first site it pointed me to was Kesha-pedia.

Really? Kesha-pedia. Really? Yeah. Kesha-pedia? There's an entire pedia of Kesha. Yeah. Does it have the dollar sign? Dollar sign? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, then it's legit. Right? Because if it wasn't, then, you know. Who's this Kesha lady? Yeah, who is this? Is it 100% like Kesha material, or is it just like, it's her own brain of Wikipedia? Yeah, no, it's 100% Kesha. It's enough to choke a horse.

Okay. No, but I was imagining, you know, how Dre did Beats. He partnered up with Monster, so he just slapped his name on it. That sounded like a crazy sentence. I don't remember when Jay and Dre teamed up with Beats. I don't know the story of Dre and how he met Beats. Was it through monsters?

It was, yes. The energy drink? No, through monsters. Through monsters. Do you want to get into the headphone industry? Good times So what monster Or a monster Approached Dr. Dre

Yeah Yeah I might be getting The history wrong But a monster You should check out Drepedia Yeah I think that's That's

I'm done with that I can't even No teach us the story Tell us the story of Dre Honestly it's so convoluted We've all heard it A million times. It's so lonely.

But the way that you tell it is kind of special. Dre was chilling in his crib. Not his house. No, literal crib. The giant crib he built. He's very weird. He's a strange man. He's the Michael Jackson of our times.

Oh, thank goodness. So he's in his crib. Wah, wah, wah, he says. Oh, thank goodness. So he's in his crib and... Wham, wham, wham, he says. Wham, yeah, exactly. And they're recording it and they're looping the whams. And he's like, I need some inspiration. I need some serious black magic.

And they're like, let's go to the voodoo lounge. And they're like, no, that shit's totally off the mark. It's not legit at all. So he... So then... So then... He took some goat's blood,

which we all know is really in with the rappers. It's hard to get goat's blood. But it's like the gin and juice of... Squeezing blood

from a goat. How do you get a goat's blood? Goats. Oh, I thought you said ghost blood. He was saying goats the whole time. Yeah, I heard goats as well. I heard ghost blood.

And I was like, but there's none. Right? Yeah. No, there's ghost blood. Oh, sure. Okay, go on. It depends how you died. Like, if you died bleeding...

You'll be bleeding forever. Yeah, you'll be bleeding forever. Even if it's just like... Even if the blood didn't cause your death, like if you had a hangnail and you pulled it off and your finger bled and then... And then you just bled out and died in your sleep? No, no, no.

Even if, like, then you got hit by a bus, you would still be like, ah, this hangnail. So in this... Wait, hold on. So in your scenario, the person's at a bus hanging up by the street, giving their nail a really good pick, and they're like, oh shit, it's bleeding. I better go

elsewhere, and then walked into the street and was hit by a bus. It was a flying bus. And it landed on them. All right. Okay. Scenario he's painting happens 200 years in the future. Yeah. Now, where did we, how did we get into...

Ghost blood? Ghost blood. And how do we get into the ghost blood market? Ryan, so you're living in Toronto. Yeah. Good mood. Oh, we're back. Absolutely.

We're back. Populated by ghosts. Ghost galore. How is it? You have a young son? Well, I have a son. I mean, I grew up... I like Toronto.

It's a good city. It's got lots of things. It's kind of dirty and fun and a lot of great comedy out there. A lot of great comedians and it's a good environment. I love Calgary, but I don't come back here very often.

Why is that? Do you come back here often? All the time, because there's this magpie I like to look at. Yeah, can't get him in Vancouver. You're a magpie gazer. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I'd come back here for you. When was the last time you were here? I don't know. A couple years ago? Really? Maybe a couple years ago? Yeah, shit's changed, right? There's that weird, like, there's a weird, like, Death Star-y building downtown is new.

It looks like the Borg is taking over Calgary with this giant... Witch Death Star. What's it called? The kind of... The Borg. The Borg. town is new. It looks like a borg is taking over Calgary with this giant... Witch desk. What's it called? The kind of... The bow. Oh, the bow, yeah. Oh, yes. We saw the bow. Yeah, it's very tall. It's the tallest building. Yeah, shaped like a bow. Like a bow, yeah. Absolutely. It is ugly.

Too late. You should have shown up at the meeting. Ryan's not here. Should we just go ahead? Alright, let's push through and assume he likes it. Are you guys going to put a giant bow on top of that or something? I don't see it.

Forget it. So you don't come... You know what I like about this city is my parents were hippy-dippy and they weren't very conservative and Calgary was,

is a tradition, quite a conservative town. But there's this really great subculture of really hip artists and cool people who are, like,

living here and a lot of people don't know about that when they don't come to Calgary. Sure. It's a cool place for that. Yeah.

That's why you don't come back. You hate it. No, I love it. I think Calgary gets a weird... I think there's a weird impression of this city that is not true. Do an impression of Calgary. Yeah, yeah. I'm so oily. Where are you from? I'm from Newfoundland.

Whatever. That was pretty good. Officially the worst Newfoundlander accident ever. Impressions. Ventriloquism. Can you do some Calgary Ventriloquism? For the listeners, I had a puppet the whole time. But no, don't you think the city gets a bad rep for its rapping?

Yeah, absolutely. What? It's changing. It is changing. I didn't see any truck nuts today. Yeah, absolutely. What? What? It's changing. It is changing. Yeah, I didn't see any truck nuts today. Yeah, there was mixed. You didn't see any what?

We didn't see any truck nuts. You know truck nuts? You got truck nuts? Yeah. Hold on a second. Okay, do you not, do you really not know what truck nuts are?

No. Okay, well, in your head, imagine what you think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something must have popped into your head. Oh, the balls that hang off the back of the truck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something must have popped into your head. The balls that hang off the back of the truck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what else did you think we were talking about? I was thinking of like a really sick biker who's like, I got truck nuts. Honestly, the first thing that popped into my mind. Jesus. Five. There you go. We did it, everybody!

Yeah! Calgary, Calgary, Calgary, Calgary, Calgary. There's no difference where I go. You're the

best hometown I know. Hello, Calgary. Hello, Calgary. Woo-hoo! Channels

two and seven love you. Now, do you know that that is just a generic song that they had, too? Yeah, Buffalo had it, too.

Yeah, and it just ripped my heart out when I saw that on YouTube. Betrayed by Calgary. Yeah, hello, Buffalo, you sons of bitches. He'll say hello to anybody. The song's not as cheery, the Buffalo song. Yeah. We're stuck here, I think, is the lyric in that. Lots of sadness here in Buffalo.

People wandering around the bus station. Hello, sadness. It's hard to rhyme Buffalo with something, but sadness works. I don't know how many people here grew up with Buckshot. Do you guys remember Buckshot? Absolutely.

I did not. I don't know what you're talking about. Dave is a native Vancouverite, so Buckshot never... Crossed. Who was the kind of kids show local... I don't know. Was there anything in Vancouver?

We had Seattle shows. What was Seattle? We had Ranger Rick. Ranger Rick. Ranger Rick. Is that the guy's name? Sure, absolutely. He was a raccoon. He was a raccoon. He threw to cartoons. He was a raccoon who drew cartoons? No, he threw to cartoons.

Oh. Yeah. Why is my hearing... My hearing is creating a beautiful lens game. So tell me about this Buckshot character. He was, he wore a cowboy hat and he had a friend named Benny the Bear

who talked, the worst part about Benny is that he was a puppet who didn't have a puppet voice. It was just like a guy going, hey, how you doing, Buckshot? And the puppet would move.

Like, there was no, uh-oh. Oh, dear goodness. Oh, there was not... Uh-oh. Oh, dear goodness. Oh, my gosh. Non-Sky Vodka product on a Sky Vodka table. That's nice. They just brought me three shots.

Yeah. Someone just delivered us a beverage. A tiny drink. A tiny cola. Cheers. tiny drink a tiny very tiny drink a tiny cola let me just cheers this is what the people on the tiny surfboards

drink oh no salute is this from the Jagermeister Lounge oh yeah they appreciated the plug on our show

this is this is from the maitre d' at the Jagermeister Lounge it's really good Dave didn't like it or or do you like it? You don't like it? Is it too good?

Is it sitting well? Urine. Seven. Seven. Goodness. I have to say, I'm a big fan of your guys' show, and I'm really happy that you guys do it. Thanks, Ron.

Thanks, Ron. It's just such a good... There's a lot of great comedy podcasts for people to find on the internet. Sure, yeah. But you guys are great. You go toe-to-toe with a lot of the biggest ones in the world, and you're a Canadian one.

And you feature a lot of Canadian talent. I think that's really cool. Thank you. That's very nice of you to say. It is, yeah. Now, being in, because you lived in Los Angeles for a while, and now you've come back up to Canada. And is there anything America-wise that you miss?

A favorite breakfast cereal. Yeah, that's what the person puts my mind to it. What are you thinking? A cookie crisp. Absolutely. Did they stop making, I heard they stopped making Captain Crunch. What? You heard that? No, but I've heard the factory that makes it is

shut down. So if you're eating Captain Crunch, you're eating backlogged... Ghost Captain Crunch. Ghost Captain Crunch. Captain Crunch that died years ago. I just finished a bowl of Captain Crunch.

But there hasn't been Captain Crunch here for 20 years. And like, I had a continental breakfast. That was some good Captain Crunch. But wait. at a continental breakfast. That was some good cat crunch. But wait.

So wait, we were talking about Buckshot. Benny the Bear. Oh, I had a theory about Benny the Bear. He didn't have a mouth, though. He was just a bear that when he talked, he would just... Yeah, bob his head. He would just lean forward.

With his human voice. Yeah, but I have a theory that he would just yeah bob his head just lean forward I'm with his I'm Buckshot with his human voice yeah but I have a theory that like the actor who did Benny the Bear he was always like

hey Buckshot how you doing and then they'd be like cut and then he'd stand up and he's going I'm good on a smoke break like

that's my Benny the Bear theory yeah so there was Buckshot was around like he was he was every day at noon That's my Benny the Bear theory. Yeah. So there was... Boxshot was around like he was every day at noon and he would throw two Heckle and Jekyll cartoons. That was...

What is Heckle and Jekyll? They're a couple of crows that might be racist. Okay, yeah. Most racist Calgary piece of history. Oh. Chicken on the Wang. What?

Huh? There used to be, there's Chicken on the Wang. It's that chicken place on 14th Street. Slow it down. Chicken on the Wang? Ghost blood. You see how it happened, right? It was really racist because it was served on a Chinese guy's penis.

Good times. We have fun. It's not as racist as it could have been. No, but there was like, the logo was a waiter running out with chicken. But for a long time, it used to be like a really racist black cartoon with giant red lips just running and this is before calgary had black people and it was uh i heard they're still waiting yeah there's jerome aginla yeah that's half he's the best he's the best um so when was you were

alive when chicken on the Way was a racist? Wang. Chicken on the Wang? I'm sorry. Chicken on the Wang. Before Chicken on the Way became. Now I sound racist. Yeah.

No, I remember. Does anybody else remember the signs of the, yeah, it was a, it was a problem. One person, so it seems like maybe you'll. People don't usually clap for racism. I remember. I'm wearing this shirt right now. I'll see you after the show. I got some great jokes for you.

That's officially the worst when people come up and tell you jokes after a show. Racist jokes? Nine times out of ten they are racist jokes. Yeah, or they just go on and on

and it's just a drunk guy who's like lonely who's like looking for a friend and he's like, this joke goes on for 12 minutes, and then you're like, but what's the punchline? He's like, no, it's just my life. That's it. It's sad. It's my sad life. Your life?

You live with a rabbi? Yeah. Are you crazy? Things have gotten weird. We were on a plane together. You walked into the bar a rabbi? Yeah. Things have gotten weird. We were on a plane together. You walked into the bar with a horse? I was the only one bears who lived. Jokes. So is there anything that you miss America-wise?

Like a thing that you can't get here in Canada? I don't... Like, I love... I mean, I go to the States probably at least once a month, usually, so I kind of... So the States he goes to once a month, but Calgary every couple of years.

I was just baiting a trap. I get it, I get it. But no, I just... Yeah, I don't know. It's not, I get cheap booze. I like being able to buy booze and cigarettes

at drugstores. Just as a theory, I like that. Yeah, cigarettes are a powerful drug. It is. It was weird

when my doctor diagnosed me with clear lungs and said, have you tried smoking? I'm going to put you on six and eight to start with

and we'll switch you up from there try to look cool when you're doing it I only smoke prescription strength cigarettes now recently Dave and I we did a photo shoot for a magazine it's underground you guys can't find it

we did some weird stuff it's German yeah we we did some weird stuff but it's German yeah we they had a the theme was like it's supposed to be like a madman

thing and they made they had Dave was the guy that was smoking in it they had me hold a cigarette yeah

but it was hilarious I don't know how to hold a cigarette you were the only one that knew not to be yeah I gave the cigarette to both you and Charlie Demers, who was with us. And you both were very good at holding it like a man.

And I was like waving it like... Like a magic wand. Oh, brother. What? Jagermeister Lounge. Oh, no. Jagermeister Lounge. Oh, no. Jagermeister. Oh, yeah.

Oh, goodness. They're from Jagermeister Lounge. Oh, hey, Jagermeister Lounge. Jagermeister Lounge. I feel like you guys are never going to make any Jagermeister money if you give away all your delicious product. What's that? Oh, do you have one?

I thought she said I had some truck nuts. I literally... Why can't there be like a Kool-Aid lounge? Yeah. And one, two, three, gross. Oh, tastes like grandpa's sadness. Grandpa's sadness. Grandpa's sadness. It tastes...

So anyway, I'm smoking a cigarette. Yeah. I'm holding on to a cigarette. Like a real pretty lady. Like a real pretty lady. I've held on to cigarettes before, and it's the same problem I have. What is the trick to look like a manly man? Well, the thing was, you were holding

at the beginning, you were holding a cigarette. First of all, you're saying it as, I've held onto cigarettes before. For friends. For friends, everybody. Just hanging onto it for a friend. He had to go inside and do some meth. Hold my cigarette.

Hold this one cigarette for me. I can't bring it into the meth lounge Now you You have cigarettes on you right? Yeah Just to see the way that you hold Because it is Just like the way you tie a turban It's the way you hold your cigarette

You can tell a lie You can tell if they're rich By the way for the listener We don't encourage smoking You can tell a lot. You can tell if they're rich. Absolutely. If they're... This is... I want to do my... By the way, for the listener, we don't encourage smoking. No, absolutely. Get over yourself. That's my message to smokers.

Were you ever a smoker? Graham was a big smoker. I smoked for like eight years almost and then quit. Because, do you know they cause cancer? It was crazy. What? Bombshell.

That's what I was like. You. But this, at the beginning. Is that how you hold a cigarette? No, this is how Dave was at the beginning, was holding it with like

the least fingers possible. It was like between cuticles. It was like that. Dude. cuticles. It was like that. Yeah.

That's amazing. That is amazing. Now, the thing about this is, oh, I also did the one, the Nazi smoke, where you hold it right here, and you put your whole hand to your face. Wartime cigarettes. But yeah, I'm sorry.

I don't want to abuse you. No, now that you've all fingered where my mouth goes, I'd love that back. That's the way, right? That's the cigarette. That's the proper way. With a beard and chains. Yeah, exactly.

That's the proper way to smoke. This is, yeah, this is smoking for this. What are you going to do about it? Yeah. But, yeah, it was the, and you just told it, right? Like, just like a regular guy. And you still smoke. How long have you smoked for?

Well, I smoked, I smoked since I was, I smoked for like 17 years, but I smoked a long time. I was a back hit. You started at age two? You say it in the past tense, but you have them in you. Well, no, I smoked, and I recently took it back up. It's awesome. I was a back hit. You started at age two? You say it in the past tense, but you have them in you. I smoked, and I recently took it back up. It's awesome. I quit for about two years.

This year, I fell off the wagon at Just for Laughs, which is like Camp of Debauchery comedy, right? You go out, and you drink all night and party, and I fell off the wagon, and now I'm trying to get back on the wagon. Look, we all want you to stick around for a long time. I do, too. I do, too.

Yeah, I do. I mean, I. I do, too. It's weird. Yeah, I do. I mean, I started... We used... There was a concrete factory in Calgary called Revelstoke. It was in Ramsey. And when we were, like, 14, we used to break in there. It was abandoned. And go hang out and smoke cigarettes. That's an important detail of the story.

Because it sounded like you were breaking into a working factory. And stealing concrete. Guys, I didn't work at all. All the free concrete we need. I'm going to dim my balls red and I'll pour some for you. Bring your biggest big old cup. We're going concrete shopping today. We're going to sell this concrete before it sets.

Come on guys On the corner It's still It's still jiggling people We got some soft concrete I'm trying to I'm redoing my driveway I should buy that concrete

They'll kill me at Home Depot If I buy full price concrete Honey help me carry this concrete That these kids have. No, I am not. So you broke into a factory? No, well, you remember when, especially in Alberta.

Wait a minute. Hold on. No, but yes. Yes, we did. Yes, you did. All right. I think the statute of limitations is bad. But there was,

you remember those videos, the film strips? Especially in Alberta, we got these in Calgary. But there's always a film strip they'd show us where it was like, safety, children, or something. And there was always a kid who would wander into an abandoned warehouse, and there was always one old fridge from the 60s there.

And they're always like, do not climb in the fridge. There was a Punky Brewster episode about it. That was us. Is that right? Yeah. And somebody got locked in the fridge. There was a Punky Brewster episode about it. That was us. Is that right? Yeah. Somebody got locked in the fridge. Yeah. That was us.

You got locked in a fridge? I did get locked in a fridge, but that was unrelated. It's a different time. Yeah. Do you know that originally in the movie Back to the Future, instead of a DeLorean, it was supposed to be a time-traveling fridge? And they canceled it because, hey, kids will probably really kill themselves a lot. Trying to emulate Eric Stoltz.

Eric Stoltz in a time-traveling fridge. They're here. Christopher Lloyd and Eric Stoltz. Or maybe it was a fridge, but then somebody went back in time to rewrite the script because the fridge... You just blew my mind.

Yeah. I wish we had a Jim Beam guitar went back in time to rewrite the script because the fridge... You just blew my mind. Yeah. Yeah. Right? I wish we had a Jim Beam guitar player right now. Settle me back down. Well... Should we bring out our next guest? Yeah.

Do you want to stick around? Do you want to stick around? We've got another chair. Do you want to scoot over here? Absolutely. Do a scoot over. Do a scoot doodle. Guys, our next guest coming up on the show,

a lovely lady that we've had the pleasure of having on the show before, and just so funny. She lives in Toronto. She traveled all the way here for this festival. She's here with you tonight. Please welcome to the stage one of our favorites, Miss Amanda Brooke Perrin, everybody. Hey.

Come in, come in. I'm coming. What are your thoughts on Sky Vodka? We're reunited and it feels so good. Right, you guys? Yeah, absolutely. You guys did shots without me. You weren't here at the time.

You might have this little bit that's left. And if I know anything about the Jägermeister Lounge, there will be plenty more to come. See? I don't want any more. Can I say that? No. Dave likes just a regular beer.

Yeah, I want a cola. I want the amount I've had so far minus the two shots of Jagermeister I have. What about a beer with a Jagermeister in it? Oh, no.

Yes, please. No, no. One for Graham. Yeah. Guys, let's be cool. Am I still allowed to talk in this seat, too? All right.

More reactionary. When we came here, when we were flying here, actually, we looked up the Voodoo Lounge online and there was, on the menu,

it said that there was something called a nacho bar and we literally thought it would be like a salad bar but for nachos where you just like,

well, I mean, mostly you would just get nachos. Yeah. There wouldn't be a lot of choices in a nacho bar. What would be like

red nachos black nachos white nachos. You have to mix them yourself. You have to mix them yourself. Wow.

There'd be guac there'd be a guacamole and a soft serve thing. Yeah. Sauce in a hose soft serve thing. Yeah. Salsa in a hose of some sort. Salsa in a pump. So why isn't that here is what we're asking.

I don't know, Graham. Well, would it be one of those bars where it's like super weird and they have like spaghetti, it's like Chinese bar, buffet, but they have like spaghetti and like Italian things mixed in. And they're like, we It's like Chinese buffet, but they have like spaghetti and like Italian things mixed in. They're like, we're just

zany. You get gummy bears on your nachos. Now, Amanda Brook-Parrott. Hi. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you for having me. Get out of here. Stop it. Get out of town. We just got here, though. Right? You came a long way. You rode a bus and a train and a walk to of here. Stop it. Get out of town. We just got here, though. Right? You came a long way.

You rode a bus and a train and a walk to get here. It was really hard. Do you guys know where Evergreen is? Yeah, homegirl took the transit. And you guys have the worst transit ever here. It is true. This transit really, it should just be called, instead of C train, it should just be called, well, we just got rid of the train.

You know what I mean? We just decommissioned the train. Calgary's got a real devil-may-care attitude with the carless people. I like how when they build a new C-Train station in Calgary, they just build it further away from everything. So they're just adding on to places you don't want to go to. Now you can get to Honeybrook.

Where's Honeybrook? Who cares? In all fairness, I would want to go to Honeybrook, though. It's so delightful. Right? I had never heard of Honeybrook. Is there really a place called Honeybrook? No. Who wouldn't want to go to Honeybrook? It sounds so delightful. Right? I had never heard of Honeybrook. You came... Is there really a place called Honeybrook? No, I'm just assuming. Yeah, absolutely.

As a city planner. That was my, like, generica... Yeah, yeah. Guys, I don't want to brag, but I can generate the names of hypothetical neighborhoods like that. It sounds like where the Care Bears are from. Honeybrook.

Wood something. See, I'm not good at it. I don't know if we're living. Wood probably is people like wood. Yeah, people like wood in the names. Cold mine. No, that's not good. That's not good at all. Vengeance. No. If you have vengeance. Viperance. No. Do you have vengeance in the...

Viper pit. No. I live in Knife Fight. Have you heard of Knife Fight neighborhood? Knife Fight County.

I, when I moved to Vancouver, I got off of the train and I didn't, I had no idea where I was going

and there was a bus that came by and the name on the bus was Mount Pleasant. And so I just hopped on that bus because I'm like, what could go wrong? Only the rest of my life.

Amanda Brooke Perrin. Yes. You are living in Toronto, Ontario. Much like Ryan Belleville. Right? Yeah. You love it. You hate it. You're indifferent. I'm on the wrong thing.

Okay. No, I like it. I super like it. That guy loves him, though. Yes. Guys, I think this is the time to get some ghost blood

because I think I think the Buddha Lounge is being haunted. Yeah. He's doing a seance. Did you... There was a man at the bar that just did a... He did an enigma.

Yeah. Who should we contact, though? Who would you contact if you had the power to? Madame Cleo? Is that her name? Who are our mediums? There's medium. Yeah.

Oh, what's his name? The guy that does it on the... John Edwards. Yeah. Probably Oprah. Oprah? I would assume. Oprah knows some people, I think.

Yeah, she knows people. Yeah, absolutely. She knows some... She's in with some pretty powerful... Nancy Reagan. Nancy Drew. Nancy Drew. Nancy Drew Nancy Drew If anything she would solve the mystery Of where that voice came from

It came from inside the clock From the man who lived in the clock I think I read that Do you guys ever You know the show Medium The thing that always bugs me About the three times I watched that episode is it's all based

on the concept that she's a psychic who solves crimes and she helps the police department and they keep her, but every time she comes up going,

I'm sure this guy's the murderer, I'm getting one of my psychic feelings, they'd always be like, yeah, whatever. I know every other time it's worked out,

but this time you're having like woman cramps or something. Probably. Medium. Look, you've solved our last 28 crimes, but, gah, can we do some evidence for once?

Guess what, medium? You don't hold up in court. Your Honor, I'd like to submit this psychic's hunch. That's Exhibit A. Exhibit A, and that's it. Oh my God, it's the best. Now, uh... Sue Thomas, FBI, did her...

She had a power heightened. Sue Thomas, FBI, had the power of deafness. Yeah, deaf. She was deaf. She didn't have a power. No, but her other senses were heightened. No, she wasn't like Daredevil. She couldn't see into the future or something. Which Daredevil couldn't do either.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, he was blind. He couldn't see anything. Yeah, that's true. Exactly. He could hear. He had a super hearing and super fighting ability. And Sue Thomas is just really good at making friends. That's her whole power, isn't it?

I mean, even people that she's like trying to chase down and prosecute. She's probably really good at plays on words. Is that a thing? Plays on words? Play on words. Daredevil? This is my second strong bow, or as Dave Shumka likes to call them, strong goes. Strong goes.

Yeah, absolutely. Now, what's going on with you, Amanda Brooke Perrin? What's new? I'm in town doing shows. Yeah. And I'm on a dating site, and I found Dave Shumka's profile picture. All right. Now, a couple of weeks ago,

we talked about this very thing in the podcast with the, uh, we kept your name out of it. Yeah. But now you've jumped right into it. That didn't help me at all. Yeah. So, now, so, uh,

you're on a dating site. You betcha. You, absolutely. What is it called? Why not? It's called My Last Resort You've got a computer If you've got a computer

You're rich enough to date me So you're on a dating site You're looking at the chaps That were available and you found what? Well here's the weird thing He was in my quiver matches Which is like the strongest possibility

of match. So I was like, that's great. Like the ones that make you quiver. The ones that make me quiver. You know what I mean. I don't. I don't either. Also, so I saw this guy holding a stuffed animal and I was like, heck,

he seems like he would cuddle me. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I clicked on it, and it was you! And I was like, are you going by another name? Abby's the best, though. Yeah. It was a picture of our very own Dave Schoenker. Yeah, it was a risky move on my part to join a dating site,

change my name, use my own picture. You did the reverse Ashley Madison. Make myself older. In my profile. Yeah, he's old. The guy that you... Does he seem like you're more mature?

I do. Yeah, no, it does. I'm really mature for my age. Look, we're not going to date. But what about this guy? He sounds like he's got potential. I messaged him and he didn't write me back. I messaged him and he didn't write me back. I messaged him and he didn't write me back.

What was the message? Hey, liar, I know whose picture you stole. I know whose picture you stole. All it said was, hey, I've been on your show. I guess we should try this out. Good approach Yeah Yeah, absolutely No, I actually did message him

And I was like Oh, a cute profile pic Where was it taken? And he didn't write back No It was taken from Facebook Yeah It was taken from

Someone else's profile Now guys I apologize for this But I am dying from Facebook. Yeah. It was taken from someone else's profile. Now, guys, I apologize for this, but I am dying to leave the stage for a minute. Oh, my God. Dave Shumka, everybody.

You know what would be amazing? What? If he comes back just covered in blood. And he drops like a blood-covered pipe. Yeah. There were seven ghosts in the bathroom. That would be amazing.

I like how no one's worried about him, though. Everyone's like, this is... He's doing what I want to do, but... You know. Have a quick cry in the bathroom. Have an open weed fest. I don't usually like to do it in a space that big.

I have a crying closet at home that I usually use. I like to be in a womb. I feel like he's getting tattooed back there or something. What do you think he's going to say? Life sucks. Oh, also, I would change it to

life comma shucks. That's right. That is pretty great. Yeah. Nice. That's nice. Yeah, and then you become like a corn farmer. That seems like that's probably a pretty big joke

about corn farmers. Life shucks farmer Life shucks Am I right, Larry? Tom, shuck you Get out of here They're all Muppets Back to my wife made of corn I'm assuming they'd say

My scarecrow wife Guys That sounds like a good book There's too many crows circling my bed What happens of this? scarecrow wife. Guys. That sounds like a good book. While we're here. There's too many crows circling my bed. What happens of this? Oh, I wish that the crow

were here. The case of the missing life. He's a detective, right? Guys, while we're all here. Seriously, jokes aside. Is he okay, though? Yeah, absolutely. We all...

Are okay. Have you ever read that book, Everybody Peace? That's what he's doing. Everybody does it. Hey, Dave, welcome back. Yay! Do you know that

apparently during, like, a concert show, Sinbad did the same thing? So I'm in esteemed company? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You're in pillowy panted company What if Batman Hosted a live podcast Sound a little bit like

How would he get away Welcome to the book I was gonna do a Bane impression Oh yeah Today we have Oh, yeah? Ooh. Today we have my... Today we have two pains on the show. Three pains.

I am a bird. All right, guys. We are running a little short on time. We should move on to the next segment. Overhearts! Overhearts. Yay! Yay! Now. Overheards! Overheards. Yay! Now, Overheards...

Overheard. Correct. Overheards is a segment in which you hear things from everyday life and you kind of record them in your mind and then you share them amongst friends. And we always like to start with the guest. And, well, we've got two guests. So, Ryan, do you want to be in on the overheard magic?

Or maybe we'll go with the magic. Maybe something comes to you. Okay, sure, sure. All right. And, Dave, are we just going to let me just continue on at infinitum? I've got one. What do you need from me? We've been doing the podcast for a long time.

Okay. I understand you just came back from the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usually at this point, I'm talking about overheards, then you swing in like a Tarzan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And really sweep us off our feet. No, I feel you. I feel you. Amanda, do you have an overheard? Oh, shit. All right, Amanda.

Amanda, before you do your overheard, it's time. Dave, you dastardly devil. Before you do your overheard, it is time for

my favorite segment on the show, a segment called Celebrity Birthdays. Celebrity Birthdays is a segment where we celebrate the best in birthdays. The birthdays belonging to celebrities. It's very important that you know these birthdays. So you can tweet at celebrities and say, Hey, HB.

Because you don't want to use all your characters. So today, I want to wish a big happy celebrity birthday to Avril Lavigne. Dave, shut up! I let it go as far as I could. Time for my favorite segment on the show. A little segment. A big segment. That I like to call Hulk Hogan News.

Yeah. Yeah, I say it's a Hulk Hogan News. It's a Hulk Hogan News. Absolutely. Hulk Hogan News. Dave, can you reach into that planter there? Because just before the show

I was given a gift oh yes that was specifically this is outstanding this is a drawing done by Rachel I don't want to say

the last name so Rachel C it is a picture of a walrus that looks like Hulk Hogan and it says walrus-a-mania. Nice.

Which is great because Hulk Hogan as a walrus is like, I give in, like walrus is more important than Hulk-a-mania. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was, that's a very nice thing and thank you very much for that And the Hulk Hogan news this week Like I've said before The Hulk giveth

And the Hulk taketh away But this week he giveth Oh goodness Guys this comes from the website Baynews9.com. This is all the news in the Bay. Rumors are swirling that a Tampa restaurant could soon bear the name of pro wrestling celebrity Hulk Hogan. According to the Tampa Bay Times, the buzz is that the Rocky Point Krabby Bills couldn't have a worse name.

Honestly, anything from Rocky Point Crabby Bills is going to be an upgrade. We'll be renamed Hogan's and become a site for a new reality television show. Holy shit. Hogan's best waitress. Yeah, Hogan cooks, and it. Hogan, yeah, Hogan cooks and it's just him, like, mangling a carrot, strangling a broccoli.

Look, we all want more Hulk Hogan in our lives. Absolutely! But why would we want Hulk Hogan's restaurant feature? Because Pastamania, which was his restaurant before, did so well that it's still around on every corner. You can't,

you cannot go out of your house without ordering a, what was, what does he have? Bicep. No, it was a beef

Hogan off. Oh, yeah. That's right. Did he have a hoagie? No, it was a pasta restaurant. Yeah.

But like, pasta and hoagie? No, it was a pasta restaurant. Yeah. But like, pasta and hoagies. What kind of restaurant, what kind of dream world do you live in, Amanda Brooke Barrett? Do unicorns serve you pasta and hoagies? A pasta and hoagie. You should just call it fats and fats. Carb-O-Lodin.

Okay, so now, celebrity birthday. Celebrity birthday. Do it up. It is September 27th. Happy celebrity birthday to Avril Lavigne. Hey, get married. And how old is Avril Lavigne?

Too old to know better. Yeah. Or something. I guess. No, she's 28-ish. How old is Jack Kroger? Is he in his 50s? He's 38. What? Yeah. Scandalous. No, she's 28-ish. How old is Chad Kroger? Is he in his 50s? He's 38.

What? Yeah. Scandalous. No, maybe he's 36. Yeah, take a nap. I think they're like eight years apart. Yeah. Yeah, they're perfect.

Yeah, absolutely. Their baby is really going to show us some Jacob Dillon. What? I imagine if they had a baby, instead of, like, an actual baby coming out of her babe-gina, it would just be, like, seeping black, like, gas

that would just escape and build the hospital. Big happy celebrity birthday to Seven? Eight? Eight That's eight That is eight

Happy celebrity birthday to Lil Wayne Oh sure Lil Wayne is the big 3-0 He's not so little anymore Yeah Yep Happy birthday to Gwynny Paltrow Good

Forty How do you think she's going to celebrate by bathing in diamonds? Yeah, bathing in ghost blood. Ooh, happy birthday to a wrestler known as the Calgary Tiger. Ricky Fuji is 47.

Is he here tonight? Oh, shit. That would have been great. Happy birthday to the lead singer of Third Eye Blinds, Stephen Jenkins. Is 48. Yeah, old, right? You know what? Time to maybe, right, fold up. Chop.

What is Third Eye Blinds' big song? We did it. I'm 50 years old. A big happy 66th birthday to a man who had the world's most unsuccessful calendar. Wait a minute.

Don DeLuise. No, he's dead. The most unsuccessful calendar? Is he a Mayan? This year it's only going to be four months. Happy birthday to meatloaf a day. That's not a thing. That can't be. The meatloaf a day calendar? Yeah, is it? That's a thing thing! That can't be! The meal of the day calendar?

Yeah, that's a thing. Every seven days. But I won't do that. On Friday, I won't do that. Faxing, I won't do that. Actually, that would not be a bad idea for a calendar. Guys and gals, now we proceed

Into the overheard round The most cutthroat of podcast rounds We always like to start with our guest Who is Amanda Oh hi Yeah You're our overheard Ryan's still working on his maybe

But overheards Things that you overhear in daily life while you're out in your life doing things, looking at magpies, going to the upside down church, etc. Overhearts. Can I just say, my brother might be on Zoinked and he's in an acapella group. Okay. Really?

Yeah, I swear to God. Did they get Zoinked? They're dirty buskers, as you could say. Yeah, yeah, yeah Filthy, gross They've just They were They're disgusting They're called

the acapella fellas Where my acapella groups at? Where are our acapella groups at? It's like the busker They should be here

The ravine My overheard So the last time I was on the show was a Bernie Mac so I thought I'd keep it in the same vein as a Bernie Mac overhe time I was on the show, I was a Bernie Mac, so I thought I'd keep it in the same vein as a Bernie Mac overheard.

I was on the bus, and a girl said to her friend, yeah, but Michael, you can draw Bernie Mac in like 30 seconds, and that's how you know you're a true artist. If only there was a test, said Picasso. It's true.

You know, there is a truth in that. Black people are hard to draw. Chicken on the way. I dedicate that to Calgary. You guys, I'm kidding. I'm not kidding, for sure. They're really... Is there shading?

Why did you keep going? Nobody wanted it. Yeah. Dave, do you have something racist? Do I have anything? I don't have anything racist. No, just overheard. I'll take it.

I'll take it without the race. She just said waffles. Yeah, she said waffles. My overheard, I was, this is, well, it was said directly to me, but it was said from a little baby.

My four-year-old niece the other day said to me, apropos of nothing, the following. Barf comes out of your mouth when you cry a lot. Sometimes it's the other way around, but she's not wrong. Yeah.

You cry when you barf a lot. Absolutely. That's been my experience. Wow. Now, we recorded a bunch of shows in a row, so I had to go back into the archives of Overheard to come up with something. And years ago, like five years ago, I was in England, and I went to a medieval recreationist society battle

where everybody dresses in old medieval clothing, and they beat the shit out of each other with plastic swords. And everything was very authentic. Even the wench that was selling mini donuts had horrible teeth. The sign outside said, Authentic wenches. But everybody was very committed to it and very in character and were filthy and had obviously put a lot of effort into their costumes

and there was one guy who had snuck away from the pack and had walked into the woods and was coming out of the woods behind where I was watching

and he was on a cell phone talking, I think, to his significant other saying, if I don't get Hannah Montana tickets, I'm dead.

We've all been there. Yeah, absolutely. Medieval problems, am I right? Ryan, did you come up with Overheard during that time? Well, I was hosting the Just for Laughs 42 show in Toronto at the Rivoli on Tuesday night, which was a really fun show. It was packed. But at the lineup, most of the people had gone in,

and I was up front with Kristoff Davidson, and I think Gilson was there. And there's one person who came up and looked at the list and started to walk away, and their friend's like is anybody good on the show? And the guy goes nah. And like a bunch of us

were just standing there like you dick. Nobody good. Nobody good. He doesn't know. Just these dudes standing up front.

These guys. They don't even give them a backstage lounge. Yeah. Move along? I think we're running a little long. In the tooth? Sure.

You can just take out the racist part though, right? I don't think we can go back in time. There's a new garage band filter for podcasts. If we could go back in time, we wouldn't erase just your racism. We would erase all racism. Yep.

Absolutely. All right. But we probably wouldn't be powerful enough to do that. I mean, if we were going to go back in time, racism would still exist. If I went back in time, I would make sure that my mom and dad met at the under the sea dance.

That's all I'm interested in. We have enough time, I think, for three overheards, and then we've got to move on. I know you said we don't have the time. Yeah, sure. But I'm like the something of something. I'm like the Usain Bolt of what he did.

I'm like the Usain Bolt of what he did. We have time for three audience overheards. You got to make them quick. Whoever wants to come up, please approach the stage. Dave will hold out his lovely microphone for you. Well, mine's all tied up in this situation. It's all voodooed. Come in.

You have one. Please. We got a lady? Yes. Yes. Join us all voodooed. Come in. You have one. Please. We got a lady? Yes. Yes. Please come towards the stage. Thank you. Yeah, walk. Come to me.

You can have my microphone. What's your name, ma'am? Morgan. Hello, Morgan. Morgan. Hi, everyone. Let's hear it for Morgan. Morgan.

Yay! Thank you. So mine's an overseen, actually. I work at the Children's Hospital, and I passed by one of the staff kitchenettes, and on the fridge was this note I saw a couple months ago. I took a picture of it, and here's what it says. All right.

To the fridge thief, when you took the deli meat, you not only ruined my day, but also my anniversary dinner. Please respect others' belongings in the future. Tanya. That's awesome. Oh, man, that's good. Thank you, Morgan. Oh, Morgan.

Yeah, I was bringing home some sliced turkey. When you steal from a work fridge, you will ruin an anniversary. The fourth anniversary is a sliced meat. Next gentleman here. Next gentleman for the overheard. What's your name, sir?

My name is James. I was riding the train the other night. Hi, James. Hi. He's stealing it right to us. And I overheard a guy and a girl talking to each other, and the guy said, well, I have a new outlook on life, and really my life has improved since I started doing this.

And the outlook was, word for word, caring about stuff is gay. True. That's step one. Dr. Phil. You were on a train with my dad. This is our third overheard. What is your name? My name is Kristen.

I was in my film class the other day and I overheard people in front of me say, what's that movie with the sassy black character? To which I responded in my head, Tyler Perry's Everything. Also Sister Act. I would have taken Sister Act.

That's my sister. Hi. It runs in the family. Do we want one more or do we want to move on? I think we should move on. We have something great coming. We do. We have something great coming. We have a long-standing segment on the show.

Well, I think we need to bid adieu to our other guests. Oh, are they going to leave? Yeah, there's not enough chairs. I'm going to follow them to the bathroom. So, Dave. I'm going to kill time. No, just proceed as usual. Okay. I'm very, you know what?

In grade seven, I was voted fastest beer. Okay, great. Most likely to pee. All right, let's hear it for Amanda Brookman and Ryan Belden. Hey, everybody. Well, uh... Now that we're alone, it's time for A segment on the show

Called Graham's Dad Movie Review What are you made of Can you see with both your eyes The longest thing we have It's easy if you try Watch all the movies And don't waste your time Just give it a line, one line

Graham's dad Now I would like to invite up onto the stage Graham's dad Now, please introduce yourself, sir. I am Graham's dad. And how long have you been Graham's dad? Just about as long as Graham's been around, and nine months. And nine months, sure. Oh.

Pretty quick, right? Right. Great quick peery. Yeah. Thank you. Now, the way Graham's Dad Movie Reviews works is, what we usually do is, well, Graham's Dad reviews movies in a very particular way. Usually it involves

not knowing the name of the star of the movie. It's very short form. Yeah, knowing one detail from the movie. And then either the positive review is it's pretty good. The negative review is give it a miss.

And what, we've turned it into a game And we've turned it into a game. We've turned it into a game recently where Graham has to guess the reviews that his dad has given these movies. And so I have come up with a list of movies for Graham's dad to review. And Graham himself has to review, and Graham himself has to, you have to go into an isolation booth. Yeah, absolutely. I gotta go away so you can hear these reviews and see how close

I come. Yeah, where are you gonna go? Bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. It's pretty soundproof. I couldn't hear anything. Yeah, okay. So when he's in the bathroom... How do we get you out of the bathroom? Just come knock.

All right. So the theme of these movies is these are all movies that were filmed in Calgary, Alberta. So they're only the best movies. Now, Mr. Clark. Yes, sir. Do you have a particular order you want to read these in, or should I just give them to you?

Okay, the first, there are six movies. The first movie is the previously mentioned Cool Runnings. Cool Runnings. Cool Runnings was an attempt to recreate the Jamaican bobsled experience at the Calgary Olympics from 1988.

It was John Candy and a bunch of skinny Jamaicans shivering and slip-sliding on the ice. And John Candy was just slapping his head silly the whole movie. Not his best. And so I'm going to say give it a miss.

Give it a miss. Ooh, controversial. I'm going to say give it a miss. Give it a miss. Ooh, controversial. I'm assuming everyone's probably seen it, right? Not me. If you've been to the ranchments, you've seen the bobsled. Yeah, I've seen the real-life bobsled. Oh, boy. It was like Hollywood came to my hometown where I don't live.

All right. So that review, a bit long. The next movie, also filmed in Calgary, Brokeback Mountain. Oh, Brokeback Mountain. Sorry, I apologize. Can I get you a little closer to the microphone? Okay. Okay.

Brokeback Mountain. Sorry, I apologize. Can I get you a little closer to the microphone? Okay. Brokeback Mountain. Two guys. It's controversial because it's a cowboy movie without cows. Though that Anne Hathaway, am I right? It's just sheep and it's two guys who go up to the mountain, and they're looking for sheep, and they find each other.

And it's a pretty good love story, and great scenery. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Next up. Shanghai Noon. That's a western kung fu movie. Shot out at Drumheller. And it's Jackie Chan and the guy with the funny nose.

A lot of really good kung fu, but the highlight of it is the two guys in parallel bathtubs soaping away, and they're just pissed to the gills. Really pretty good pretty good alright the next is a an independent film shot in Calgary

a Canadian movie called Way Downtown oh Way Downtown well you've seen this I have seen this you've seen the buildings and you've seen the plus 15. I've seen these, yes, whatever those are.

And the whole movie is about who can stay inside the longest in Calgary in the winter without going outside. So they stay in the buildings and they stay in the plus 15s and that's just too much like my work life. So give it a miss. Give it a miss. Yes. The next is a movie shot in Calgary called Foo Bar. A Canadian classic. Well, I think the crowd has decided on it.

Foo Bar is, it was shot in Ramsey, and it's about a couple of hosers who drink way too much Lethbridge pill. And then they go camping, and they jump over their campfire and fall into it and roll around naked and just completely big ad for Lethbridge Bill. Pretty good.

Pretty good. The final movie is a movie I did not know was shot in Calgary. A movie called Superman. That wasn't one movie. That was three movies. Right. Okay. Feel free to give me the trilogy.

Yeah. First one was about Superman when he was a kid growing up. Growing up in Calgary. Growing up in Calgary. Yeah. Going to the beef. Yeah. And then the second one is, you know, he starts catching airplanes and speeding cars and so on.

And it just slip slides into silliness when you've got a guy skiing down the face of Gulf Canada Square onto Ninth Avenue. And, you know, I'm sorry, it's just too silly. Give it a miss. Give it a miss. Alright. Alright. Well, thank you. You stay right there. Would someone please go into the bathroom and get Graham?

A woman is volunteering. So how's everyone doing? Oh, here comes Graham. He's full of beards. Graham Clark, everybody. That's how you get applause. How's it going? How was the bathroom?

I had a lot of time to think. I didn't hear anything. I couldn't hear anything. I was staring at the UFC poster. Who's playing next? There's this one guy. His last name's Boner. So he probably really had a hard time growing up.

Yeah, yeah. That's why he's so angry. Yeah. But of the two of them, I encourage anybody, and it's probably in the women's bathroom as well, his poster, the one guy looks cool as all get out, and the other guy's making the craziest face. Anyways, I'll take a picture on my iPhone.

I'm ready. I am ready. I didn't hear anything. I'm ready to go. Okay, the first movie we covered was Calgary classic film, Cool Running. Oh, wee! I know that from Ranchman's. Yeah.

So now I'm to do the... You're to guess your father's Graham's Dad movie review. I'm going to say... John Candy coaches a team of Jamaicans who don't win, but it feels good. Pretty good. I believe it was John Candy coaches a bunch of skinny Jamaicans who were shivering the whole time.

Give it a miss. Oh, what? Unbelievable. He's done better. John Candy's done better. He has done better. John Candy's done better. He has done better. Oh, weird. Yeah, yeah.

Because my dad's always a sucker for the, you know, the Olympic... Underdog. Yeah. I'm very surprised. Well, maybe you can redeem yourself on this one. It's called Brokeback Mountain. Ooh. I'm gonna say two ranch guys

that love each other very much your mom made me see it pretty good I believe it was two guys go out there are no cows they go out searching for sheep and find each other.

Pretty good. Oh, hey, that's not bad. Not bad. That's not bad at all. The next one was called Shanghai Noon. Oh, okay. Jackie Chan, which is your brother Dan's favorite. And Owen Wilson,

no, the guy from Wedding Cratchers, are in the Old West. Your mom loves it. Pretty good. I believe it was Jackie Chan, who your brother Dan loves. And the guy with the fucked up nose. They go out looking for sheep and they find each other.

No, they have hijinks. They end up drunk in two bathtubs. Pretty good. Okay, all right. Pretty good. Okay, all right. Pretty good. All right. The next one was an independent film called Way Downtown. Yes.

Have you seen this movie? Have I seen it? Yes. Yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah, I've seen it. Wow. Even I've seen this movie. A bunch of office workers

use the plus 15 system in Calgary to never go outside. It's kind of depressing. Give it a miss. Yeah. The only part you left out was it was too close to his own office life. Oh, sure. Absolutely.

Yeah. A film called Fubar. Oh. Okay. You've seen Fubar, too? Yep. Oh, okay. Just Fubar 1.

Fubar 1. Yeah, okay. Just food bar one. Food bar one, yeah, sure. Um. Two hoser guys. One of them gets sick and they go and have a party pretty good. Something like that. Yeah, they jump over a fire pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And finally, the Superman trilogy.

Oh, wow. Did you know that was filmed in Calgary? Oh, absolutely. Are you kidding me? These were the movies shot in the 70s and 80s? Yeah, yeah. With Dean Cain? Yeah.

A young Dean Cain. Rest in peace. So, to give the review of the trilogy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How it starts, how it middles, and how it ends. How much time do we have here? Yeah. Yeah.

Superman, uh, comes to Earth. Earth. Earth. And, uh, he says, welcome to Earth. Uh, you know, decides to, uh, be a superhero. Uh, and the second one, I don't remember what happens. And then the third one, he fights himself in a junkyard. But it was all set in Calgary, and it still looked like Calgary.

Pretty good. Give it a miss. Huh? All together, give it a miss. Oh, all together, give it a miss. Oh, wow. My goodness. Richard Dunner would be spinning in his grave.

I feel like I did pretty good. Pretty good. My dad, everybody. Fantastic. Well, I think that brings us to the end of the show. It sure does. My goodness. Thank you so much, everybody that came out to the show tonight.

This is amazing. It's amazing that we can go to another city like this and people will come out and support this little podcast. And it really is very humbling. And thank you so much for coming out tonight, really this is it this is why we do the

the podcast and thank you very much to the YY Comedy Festival for putting us up in the Voodoo Lounge and of course I mean the Jagermeister Lounge, where would we be at this point without them? Yeah, that's right. And thank you to our guests.

We had Ryan Belleville, Amanda Brooke Perrin, and my own father John Clark here on the show. Thank you Dave for coming all the way to Calgary. Thank you, Graham. And really way to Calgary Thank you Graham and really it does mean the world that you guys came out to see this there's shows all weekend

for the YY Comedy Festival you guys were fantastic thank you so much everybody have a good night applause applause applause applause Thank you.