Stop Podcasting Yourself - Bonus Episode - LIVE from Edmonton with Kathleen McGee

Episode Date: November 9, 2016

Recorded live from CKUA on October 7th as part of Edmonton's Up + Downtown Festival with comedian Kathleen McGee.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hello. Hello, Edmonton. Hi, what a wonderful room of people. Welcome, welcome to our Christmas Eve set. Just imagine this microphone is hot cocoa.

Clasping it so tight. Hello, hi, cocoa. I was told I'd be visited by three ghosts. Oh. Yeah. But they're not going to show me anything. They're just going to touch me. Just going to touch me. Weird.

Weird old ghosts. Some of them aren't old. Hello. Welcome. Thank you very much for coming out during the first snow of the year here in Edmonton. Right? The first of a thousand. Yeah. Oh, you guys are so lucky.

A thousand snows, a thousand Christmases. Yeah. Every day, running out, sticking out your tongue and catching a flake. Ooh. We're here before it turns black. Yeah, that's right. We're here in the magical part of October. It's not even...

Man, why is it snowing? I hate Canada. And, you know, we... Look at those god damn flakes I would encourage any and all of you to go to the Edmonton Opera they've put up one poster in the city

but they put it up for maximum visibility go see Turandot by Bukini yeah we're very excited to be here as part of this Up and Downtown Festival. Never been here before as part of that. Yeah, we've been here in other capacities. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Dropping a puck at a hockey game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was here. I gave the key to the mayor of the city. That was weird. So he could hand it off to whoever, whatever reality show comes through town. You got to eat here. Um,

hello, this side of the room. Hello, this side of the room. I put out most of these chairs. If you're wondering who put out the chairs, uh, it was myself.

There was a couple other people, but mostly I'm the only one with a microphone. Dave was working on tech stuff at the time, so if you are happy with the arrangement of the chairs, I mean, you know, I'm not going to force a standing ovation,

of course, I mean, that would be gauche. I mean, it would be gauche to put out a tip jar, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, we've got this table here if you want to just throw wads of cash on it. Wads. No coins, just wads.

Wad them up, guys. Hi. We came in this morning. We met an actual musician that's here on the transport on the way in and I don't remember what... I just remember he was here last year and he said... I wrote down how he described the festival last year. But one of the things as soon as he told us, he said, oh, I do

electronic music. I was like, don't ask them which is more important, the bleeps or the bloops. Which was... And he said that last year this festival was straight ripping. Straight ripping! Sorry, guys. This year they don't have that in the budget.

Yeah. Straight ripping! That's right. Is that in the budget. Yeah. Straight rip. That's right. Is that what the musicians are saying these days? I'm going to use it on a bunch of teenagers at my next rally. And then when we said we were comedians, he's like, I just started getting into comedy. Yeah. Which is a very weird thing to say.

Yeah. I just learned to laugh. I just realized that's an emotion I can experience the last time Dave and I were here we stayed in a hotel that was hosting a bodybuilding championship or conference

it might not have been a championship it may have been just a protein conference. And I was telling Dave at dinner that I was on the elevator with a bodybuilder and the whole way up on the elevator I pictured it like a one panel comic

strip where we're sharing a thought bubble and the thought bubble just says yuck. a thought bubble and the thought bubble just says yuck we're just like get it together buddy and when we checked into the hotel we told them that we're with the festival and the guy was like well we have our own festival going on here at the hotel yeah and. And he pointed to this button on his lapel and it said, Snooza Palooza. Yeah. Now let me tell you about Snooza Palooza.

We're doing a little guerrilla marketing for Snooza Palooza. At any Holiday Inn Express. You can go, you can sleep. The breakfast goes all the way till noon. That's Snooza Palooza in your own city. You didn't even know it was happening. I would have brought a poster,

but the one section was already taken. Guys, how many of you saw us last time we were here at Improvaganza? Alright. Repeat jokes. Not a lot. Not a lot of people, so let's bust out that old material.

So who do you think's going to run for president? I hope whoever does loves Rosie O'Donnell. That was my answer. Cutie patooties for all. And who has never heard of us before? That's weird that you're here. You got dragged here. Yeah, you love someone very much.

And that's nice. If you don't know what the show is, it's this. Except we'll sit eventually. I don't know why we haven't yet. Well, I don't know, but I just wanted... In the theater, you want to create tension. So, will they, won't they? Yeah, it's like in what they say about them plays.

Yeah, yeah. If you see a gun in the first act, you better eat it in the second act. Yeah. see a gun in the first act, you better eat it in the second act. Yeah. For the home listener, I came out today dressed in hilarious

mittens and a scarf, because it's cold here. And I got a big reaction. Yeah. When I was waiting to go on stage when everyone could see me. Because, you know. We were waiting for a gentleman to come back from the bathroom.

I didn't want to start the show without the full crowd here. And I'm wearing some gold chains to represent my wealth. I'm wearing a nice hat. And I'm also wearing

this jacket. jacket is from the Ribera Steakhouse in Tokyo which this jacket is only given out to professional wrestlers which I am not how did I end up with it let me tell you I have a friend

who has a friend who had one so he gave it to him pro wrestler gave it to my friend who's not a. So he gave it to him. Pro wrestler gave it to my friend, who's not a pro wrestler, who gave it to me. Then I posted it on Facebook, and several people I know who are pro wrestlers,

very angry at me. How the fuck did you get that jacket, they said. And I said, I know a guy that knew a guy. That's all it is. I used to be a resident advisor. Yeah.

This is related somehow. No, no. I want to hear it. And there were like four sets of resident advisors. And they each had a head resident advisor. And one of them was an actual karate sensei. So he let his resident advisors call him sensei. I was not one of his resident advisors. And I was like, I'm still going to actual karate sensei. So he let his resident advisors call him sensei. I was not one of his resident advisors.

And I was like, I'm still going to call you sensei. Yes! So I feel like that relates to your jacket. Yeah, that's true. I want to be, if I wear this in town, I'm allowed to put a headlock on anybody I see. Even cops or the mayor. What's the mayor's name here?

Don Iveson. That was it. From an episode ago. Yeah, we were trying to remember. Is he or she good? Not really. Not good, but not terrible, right? I don't know if it takes a lot of

mayoring to make Edmonton run. I don't know if it takes a lot of mayoring to make Edmonton run. I don't know. Look it, they got that... I was going to say something we saw while we were here. You think Snooze-a-palooza? You think any mayor can preside over Snooze-a-palooza? They got that guy outside Flamin' Fitness.

On the treadmill. Yeah, exactly. on the treadmill yeah exactly so Don Iveson's doing for the home listener Flamin' Fitness is a hilarious reference yeah does that run all winter that guy alright that's why he's so skinny

yeah if you honestly the next election somebody should put All right. That's why he's so skinny. If you, honestly, the next election, somebody should put Flamin' Fitness guy on the ballot. And he'd be like, I'm running not just on the thing now. Well, there's also Flamin'. We get Flamin' Fitness commercials in Vancouver, and they have a mascot who's a superhero, Flamin' Man. Flamin' Man.

That's right. And he comes to old people's houses and he's like, you're not going to fall in the bath. I don't know. He also, yeah, he's the least requested make-a-wish guy. Zero requests to date.

He's on the form. If you want. It would be more a make-a-wish for Flamin' Guy. Anyways. Let's not make fun. Are you differentiating between Flammon Guy and Flammon Man? I'm using the colloquial Flammon Guy. Who's the guy on the treadmill?

Yeah, yeah, he's Flammon Guy. Who's on third base? I don't know. So, you know, it's going to be a lot of this, and it's too late to get your money back. And how many people

do we have here who just have a wristband? You guys all bought tickets? This is the best. Wow. It's the best. You guys hate music. They hate music almost as

much as that guy in the van kind of likes comedy. I'm just kidding you. Oh, he was nice though. Well, to a point. And then we checked out. Anyways, you guys, thank you so much for coming.

We're going to take our seats. We're lit from the bottom. Yeah, so spooky lighting. Here we go. Is it spooky or is this lighting good? Oh, okay. Wow, nuts. I was hoping this was going to be our spookiest podcast yet.

Okay, well, that guy out there is making it plenty spooky. Hi. Hi. He thought he had us. Thought he had a quick on the way out candid. That'll be fun for the home listener. Yeah. I think this is all fun for the home listener.

Because they don't have to be where it's cold. Yeah. So, you know what? Well, I think now... Okay, here's how we're going to run the show. Yeah. We're in charge. Yeah. The doors are locked from the outside. Yeah.

And by the end of tonight, we need to produce an air. So, we will. We have a fantastic guest who is joining us here on the live podcast. And we're going to get to know her. And then we're going to do some overheards. And then we're going to invite you, if any of you have overheards,

to come up to this microphone at the end of the show and share with us. Fun. Fun, right? Fun, right? Who's excited? Indicate acknowledgement of fun. Okay, well, without further ado,

our guest this evening, she is in town, she is opening tomorrow night for Bruce McCullough, and she's been a guest on the podcast before. We couldn't be more thrilled to have her here on the live podcast. Please welcome to this stage Edmonton's

own Kathleen McGee, everybody! Thank you! Thank you! Yeah! Hi. Hugs. Kathleen. Hello. Show everybody your phone case before we get a roll in because it's... Is this work? Oh, there it is. Yeah, it worked. Oh, here. Kathleen. Hello. Show everybody your phone case before we get rolling.

Is this work? Oh, there it is. Yeah, it work. Oh, here. Okay. Here's my phone case. Isn't that fun? For the home listeners, she's holding up a giant dildo.

I wish. Oh, my God. Wouldn't that be the best phone case ever? No, it's a psychedelic unicorn that I got from Claire's. Claire's. So I shop at Claire's and I'm 35. Yeah. Well, it's a psychedelic unicorn that I got from Claire's. Claire's. So I shop at Claire's and I'm 35. Well, Dave does too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get all my, what would Jesus do,

bracelets? Yeah. And as I told you earlier, that's where I got my Prince Albert piercing, was at Claire's. Very reluctant to do it. They said many times, sir, we do not do that here. I said, well, it's happening. But you were like 14.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need a note from your parents. Your mom came with you, though, for it. Absolutely. She had to sign the form. It was her idea. Weird. The key is to dare your kids,

and then they won't go do dumb things on their own. I prefer my kid to do dumb things at home. Yeah. Did you know people who had parents like that? Yes. I did. Yeah. My mom threw me a keg party for my 18th birthday.

No way. Yeah, she kind of regretted it. She's like, you can invite a few people. I made flyers. A few people. I've got a keg if you can invite a few people i made flyers a few people i've got a cake you can invite five friends you're all getting alcohol invite that cute boyfriend of yours um no i she gave me she let me have a cake party she always let me have house parties really yeah you were the you were the friend yeah in high school that people would be like we're all going over to Kathleen's because free reign

because Wendy McGee just goes to the casino and lets us have a good time I love it but her reasoning was because we would have bush parties she's like I'd rather have a party in my basement than in a bush somewhere I'd rather if I had kids that they were partying in the bush

I worked hard for this house this hypothetical house bush somewhere. I'd rather if I had kids that they were partying in the bush. I worked hard for this house. This hypothetical house. There'd be teenagers vomiting all over it. But somewhere there's a guy who's like, I worked hard for this bush. Yeah, that's true. George Bush's dad. Sure.

It's a family name. Should we get to know us? Let's get to know us. George Bush. It's a family name. Oh, boy. Should we get to know us? Let's get to know us. All right. That's okay. Get to know us. The sound gentleman, Scott, everybody. Round of applause.

He's also watching a baseball game on his iPhone. We told him we wouldn't tell everyone that, but we lied. Kathleen, this is your hometown. Yeah. Why? Because you were here. Why? Why?

Why? How? Because my parents had sex here, I guess. I don't know. We actually, I lived in Metetaskiwin or just outside. That's where people go to buy a car, right? Yes, because that's where cars cost less. And that's also where everybody wears a cowboy hat in their yearbook picture.

So I bless my parents every day for moving here when I was five. Now is this, have you actually seen a yearbook from Wetaskiwin and everybody's got a cowboy hat? It's horrifying. You'd have to use a bigger photo I think because otherwise the hat would right get out of frame I mean everybody looks good you choose your life but I don't know if I want to be a rodeo

queen no well what's a rodeo queen is that just somebody a lady that does the rodeo she usually rides around on a horse with a flag at the beginning of the rodeo I think isn't that the rodeo queen? Is that just a lady that does the rodeo? She usually rides around on a horse with a flag at the beginning of the rodeo, I think. Isn't that the rodeo queen? And she has a giant belt buckle and she usually wears a teal

house. What about this do you like? This sounds great. I don't know. I wasn't a rodeo queen type of girl. At your high school, did they have pictures of all the other graduating classes? Yeah. Yeah.

Mine is probably still up at my high school here in town. Yeah, why wouldn't it be? Yeah. Yeah. What high school was that? St. Francis Xavier. Anybody? Go Rams.

Does anybody know? Do you guys even know that? No one's gone to that school for 100 years. I went to a haunted school for three years. Oh, man. Dare to dream. I wish my teachers were dead. They already are?

Yes. At my school, it was great because you could go through. You could see what people look like in the 20s. And everyone dressed up in every picture for decades except this one guy in 1987 named Tony Roy. That sounds, okay. And everyone else is in suits and dresses and he's just got a shirt that says motocross. What's Tony Roy doing today? I don't know.

He was graduated before I got there. He changed his name to Don Iveson. Now he's running the city. I hope he got into motocross. Oh, we can all dream. Yeah. I don't know anything about motocross. Tony Roy is the most famous motocross personality I can name.

What is motocross? It's an X game. Isocross personality i can name what is motocross it's an x game is it it's motorcycles in the dirt oh right that's what motocross is is it like that uh you know just outside of vancouver on your way out of vancouver between hope and vancouver is that like that that dirt bike thing is that what it is maybe Maybe. Yeah, that sounds about right. And it's what Vanilla Ice was into before he got into rapping. This is a fact. Because I've read his autobiography. And if you haven't, why wait?

Why Amazon is a click away? What's it called? Cool as Ice. How many what was his movie called? Cool World Huh? Yeah it was also Cool as Ice

Yeah how many properties did he have called Cool as Ice? He was the first guy to register a website domain And it was coolasice.org Let somebody scoop.com And now they're millionaires Selling ice you guys look adorable I'm sad that I wasn't told to dress up better well no you look great you're wearing this fun this is a very strange shirt because it's a beaver yeah but he's got a brain on his well there's a zombie

it says greetings from Canada. And it's from an artist in Halifax. Okay. Named Jordan Moore. And I love him. And I wish he would send me free shirts. But I keep buying from him like a chump. Well, with this plug,

there's no way you're not going to be ass deep in shirts. I love this shirt. Kathleen. Ass deep in shirts. Yeah. Are you a big zombie fan? I think, no. It's not a big thing for me. Like, I don't have a plan.

You're like a zombie apocalypse fan? I know people that have plans. Zombie fans or are they zombie faredy cats? No, that's hard. I mean, I think that they're just like, I was just in Pender island on the sunshine no pender pender harbor on the sunshine coast and they had an island where cars cost less that's where cars cost more oh yeah absolutely but they had an island this is where islands cost less

because there was an island for sale with a house on it that sold for four hundred thousand dollars or something what yeah an island plumbing and. And I thought that's the best place if you wanted to have a zombie plan. Because zombies can't swim, can they? I'm not a zombie fan, so I don't know. Here's the thing about zombies. They don't exist. They don't exist, so they can do whatever you want or not whatever you want. You just wasted $450,000. But it was an island.

I would love to have my own island. But you said it has plumbing. It's an island with one house? It's got a house and a boat house. Let me tell you about that plumbing. Just going into the ocean. Yeah. That's better than what I thought as a kid

when planes flew over. I thought when you flushed the toilet on a plane that it just dropped out of the back of a plane so i was terrified when planes would fly over me immediately they collect a bunch yeah but i thought it just i thought the back of the plane just opened the plane took a poop and also the luggage just went flying out now uh this is this an island it's still for sale? No, it's sold for $450,000. $400,000 to $450,000.

Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night and being like, oh, I'd love an ice cream sandwich. Oh, god damn it. You can't. I live on this dumb island. You've got to be prepared to be an island owner. Yeah, I'm not ready. You're not ready for it?

You're not ready for that step? No. You know what? I thought about it. You're not ready for it? You're not ready for that step? No. You know what? I thought about it. No, I can't. Do you ever have fantasies of getting away from it all, becoming a hermit? Yeah.

The more and more I live my life, yeah. The more and more the world goes the way it's going I definitely would love to just own an island what would you do? you live on an island what would you do to spend how would you pass the time? are you whittling? are you making food? what are you doing?

I think I'd read all the mad magazines everyone that was ever published then when I was done i'd come back to civilization then i was when i was done i'd go right back to to issue number one oh this was cheap you just you move on to cracked you move on to cracked right after all the mad magazine i don't know i'd have high speed internet i probably just watched it'd be like my life now i just watch netflix all day yeah yeah but i'd be on my own island. Pretty good.

It would be amazing. I would wear a tiara everywhere. I would. Yeah. Why not? I'd be the queen of my own damn island. Yeah. Yeah.

I like it. This is a better plan than I have. Dave, do you ever have the hermit dream? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not island, though. Although, island, mm. Just somewhere out in the woods. Where you can walk around naked and no one cares?

No one cares when I walk around naked. Are you sure? I could walk into a room where just naked with a scarf and mittens and still get no laughs. I thought this was going to be like, okay, I'll take it off after I get the big laughs. Listen, you look like Harry Potter right now.

Oh, come on. You're too kind. And you look like Rocky's promoter. Yeah. Why do you have the gold chains? For his wealth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To reflect my wealth. I was...

See, this is the true story. I went to Toronto to compete in this competition that I lost but I brought this whole bag of gold chains with me in the event that I won they would make you do media

the next day so I was just going to wear all these gold chains but I lost so I never got a chance so this is my this is my prom this is your turn

yeah it's your time to shine exactly but yeah So this is my prom. This is your turn. It's your time to shine. Exactly. But yeah, that's why I have the chains. And I was carrying them around a bag anyways. It's a fun gag. In your luggage? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but you don't carry a lot of... Do you ever check a luggage bag? Very rarely. Because you have the best tip. When I went on tour for three months. You told me just don't bring any clothes. Just go to Value Village when you get there. And just buy your new wardrobe. 50 bucks on a new wardrobe

and then donate it back when you leave. And I was like that's actually really brilliant. Yeah. 25 bucks. It's a new you for a while. You can pick an identity. African explorer. You buy pick an identity. African explorer. You buy a pith helmet. I can't wear anything without washing it.

No? From Value Village. Sorry, sorry. They wash it. No, no, no, no, no, no. No? Disavow yourself of that notion. They disinfect it.

And by that, I mean, I think they... They just shake it out. Get the lice out. Get the louses out. I bought a hat from Value Village. I'm terrified. Oh, yeah, you should be. You're going to lose your head.

It was an inappropriate hat that I could not believe I found at a Value Village. What was inappropriate about it? Well, it's a hat... Inappropriate for... Well, if a man wore it, a lot of women would get up in arms about it? Well, it's a hat. Inappropriate for... Well, if a man wore it, a lot of women would get up in arms about it. But I loved it.

It made me laugh so hard. Okay, can we guess what it says? Yeah. Okay, here's... You both get a guess. This is my guess. Okay. It's got a working clock in it

so that it actually tells the time and underneath it, it says time for pussy. I wish. I'm going to find that hat one day. I'm just going to make a hat that says time for pussy and I wish. I'm going to find that hat one day. I'm just going to make a hat that says time for pussy and I will wear it around. You know I will.

It's so sad that clock making is going away. It's such a lost art. Clock making or clock? Come on. Getting dirty. What would your dirty hat say then?

Oh, same but digital. Future pussy. What's really funny about this is you're kind of close. Okay. Of course. It says,

your vagina stole my watch. It's a thinker. I have a picture. But it was $5. I was in the Abbotsford Valley Village in Abbotsford, British Columbia, where, if you guys don't know a lot about Abbotsford, British Columbia, it's a town that's given up on saying no to drugs, and they just put instructions on how to safely do illicit. I'm not even kidding is that for real yes they're in in the bathroom at the yuck yucks in abbotsford they have like listen if you're gonna do cocaine here are the things you need to do and they're like

carry this drug that's supposed to stop fentanyl overdosing and go with a friend and if you're feeling woozy go to the hospital like we're tired of you people overdosing. That's like instructions for a safe Halloween. That's true. Go with a friend. If somebody wants your UNICEF box, just give it over. Have your parents inspect your fentanyl before you take it.

I don't mind you doing cocaine as long as you do it at home. Just let mom check it out first. Mom, where's my cocaine? Never mind. Is that really? But I want to talk to you for an hour. What?

They have real, like, posters. Yeah, they have posters on, like, how to safely do... They've given up. Sure. You can't... The just say no to drugs thing is dumb. It's not going to work.

So now just tell people how to do it without time. Why did they encourage us to be so rude to people offering us drugs? It's like my favorite song says. What's that? Why you gotta be so rude? You know I am a human dude. I'm gonna do the cocaine.

Because you could say, no thank you. Right. You should say, I'm good no thank you right you should say I'm good thank you just say how kind of you but I'm

uh not into drugs at the moment here's the thing about when when we were all young yeah

we were we were told you're only as young as you feel bastard we we were all told that the big game in drug culture was they would give you free drugs in order to hook you. Which is bullshit.

When did you ever get a free... I have never. One free drug. Well, it depends on if I'm on a date or not. Okay, sure. I'm a girl, it's different for us. Not fair. Yeah, it's not fair at all. I wish I could be a

drug dealer just with an open palm with several pills and a syringe and a joint. Like, take one of all and see which one looks good. Or in those movies where, like, teenagers were having a party and kids just like, oh yeah, there's plenty of beers in the fridge.

Yeah. Yeah, I went out and I bought everyone beers with all my teenager money. And my awesome fake ID. Yeah. And they didn't question. I had a ton of money when I was a teenager. I had a part-time job and no rent. Where did you work?

What was your part-time job? I'm in Edmonton. I worked at Andy's Valley View IGA. Nothing? I don't know what type of references you need to drop with this crap. It's a grocery store in the west end of Edmonton. Oh, is that where carrots cost less? You're awesome.

I am awesome. The gloves are coming off. Oh, shit. Did you, were you like check out? I was a cashier. Okay. I was a cashier. Did you have to bag?

Sometimes. You know what I love? But sometimes if we got too much, we could, can I get a bagger on aisle two, please? And then somebody's like, give me spare change. Not a bagger. That's a sitcom I'm working on. Not another bagger on aisle two, please. And then somebody's like, give me spare change. Not a bagger. That's a sitcom I'm working on. Not another bagger. What I love about going to a grocery store

when there's a teenager working cash is they don't know any of the vegetables. What is this? What's an avocado? Is this parsley? No. Well, we all had like a code to um to call a grown-up we got a 2467 here uh no uh when you logged into your computer so it was your till right so and

our numbers were the same as some of the vegetable things. Like my friend was 2-2-2, so she was green peppers. Sure. But I loved mine because mine was 1-0-6, which is fancy melon. Appearing all week, green peppers and fancy melon. Yeah, it was awesome. Wow. I wanted to, I loved working at the grocery store. I loved scanning things, but after a while it got really boring.

Here's a question, because this has happened to me numerous times when I go to the grocery store, where you've got a bunch of disparate items, and then they try and guess what you're going to cook up. Have you ever done that? No. I think they think it's charming. I think it feels like I'm being profiled. You are, because you're a white man by yourself. You could be a serial killer.

Exactly. Why is this white man by himself buying so much barbecue sauce and tampons? What is he going to do with it? It's Halloween's coming up. That's why. Tricks. You have the best spooky front yard.

Just barbecue sauce and tampons everywhere? Just a sign that says, go away. I don't have a lot of memories about working at the grocery store, but I do remember one time there was this creepy old man that would come through all the time, and he would flirt with the 14-year-old cashiers. And one time there was this like creepy old man that would come through all the time and he would flirt with the 14 year old cashiers and one time like we sold I say peering into my future your freedom 50 was like freedom 55 14 year olds are attractive and their owns but they look older these days

well a lot of them have old souls she's mature for her age we're the worst but this one guy like he bought a cow tongue like we sold cow tongue gonna practice my kissing he just literally

why don't teenagers do that to practice? A little, a little, a little. I was with the person before him, and then I turned to him, and he had it up to his mouth, and he was like, eh, eh? Like, I was 14 and overweight. I didn't understand why he was doing it.

What are you looking at? I'm seeing if it's still snowing. It's just dusting now. It's fun. We'll go out and we'll make a slush man. In the meadow. So you were here for a wedding?

Yeah, I was here for my cousin's wedding. It was fun was really fun i was at fort edmonton park now this is uh finally a reference that gets a little heat a little i used to work there i worked there for five years really yeah did you work as one of the costumes from another time yeah but i worked i worked in the fort just because we got to wear moccasins and comfortable dresses. And I was not one of those people that was like, a good day, my name is Guinevere. This is my home.

No, I never did that. Guinevere, so you were from Camelot? You were a time traveler? I am lost. What are all these? There were different eras and different streets. And the fort... The thing is, I can't imagine an invention that happened

in the 1800s that wasn't around in medieval times. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know. The bifocals? Yeah, okay. So would you ever have to talk? Would you have to talk to the tourists and whatever?

Yeah. Oh, that was always fun. But I would, I don't know, one time this woman was really annoying, so I convinced her that I was a descendant of the queen. I was part of the royal family. a descendant of the queen it was part of the royal family uh but um my era like the four we more just were costume people that talked about stuff around us but there were people on the street that were very serious and one year there was a very serious group and they all like made up like they married each other on the street and they were all like, they were like character actors all summer

at Fort Edmonton Park, and it was like, what? Jared Leto Park. Jared Leto Park. Welcome to Jared Leto Park. I mailed everyone a dead rat. That happened, actually. Yeah.

There was a blacksmith? Was there really a blacksmith? Yeah. There was a blacksmith? Was there really a blacksmith? Yeah, there was a blacksmith. There's always a blacksmith at those places. And so, do they wait until somebody, like, oh, people are coming, clang, clang, or are they just clanging away the whole day? Are they an actor or are they a blacksmith?

No, like, all of the interpreters are technically, I guess, actors, we're supposed to be, but I don't know like the blacksmith can't you know make a sega genesis yeah he has to only make old-timey things he doesn't only make little horse shoes for kids and it's ridiculous or i don't know or there would always be those really annoying people that would come and be like um do you have a cell phone and then we'd have to be like no what's a cell phone? And then we'd have to be like, no, what's a cell phone? I'm like,

some of the people that worked there really enjoyed those people. And they were like, yeah, what is a cell phone? I don't know what you're talking about. Let me get back to my butter. Are you on Facebook? Well, no, I have a book of faces.

Exactly. Would you like to see my etchings? Yeah, I have a book of faces. Exactly. Would you like to see my etchings? Yeah. I have a book of faces of people I've murdered and my travels. And then the worst part was we would have to, like, it wasn't, the worst part wasn't cooking. Like, we had to make bread in the oven, in the peach oven, like the clay oven. And we had to, like, make soup. But there would always be, like, people that thought they were at costco right and they would hover there were families that would bring their

own mugs we're like oh do we have some buffalo barley soup again yeah we have it every friday at 11 mr jones and you're here every fr at 11. And it was like people would just stand there and stare at you until you gave them a piece of bannock. It was ridiculous. Sounds good, though. When you were just saying fresh bread out of a clay oven? I singed my eyebrows

off once. Really? Yeah, because I put my head in too far. It was so hot. Just to get away from these people? I'm going to put my head in too far. It was so hot. Just to get away from these people. I'm going to put my head in the oven. You always knew when an interpreter was sick of people when they were chopping wood.

They're like, leave me alone. I have an axe. Don't even talk to me. Yes, I'm an old-timey squirrel chaser. I'm going to go chase some squirrels. Do you think the UN has ever hired the wrong kind of interpreter? You're supposed to go chase some squirrels. Do you think the UN has ever hired the wrong kind of interpreter? You're supposed to be speaking Swahili.

Not making candles. Yes, I do think that's happened. You should be careful. There were also families that would come in and there would always be a member of the family that was a tour guide. They would come in and be like oh this is where they scalped the Indians

it's like no that's not at all what happened here they scalped us but it wasn't even that and then my favorite was this dude and he was showing his family around and he said you'll notice that

they have stairs here that's an embellishment from the park they stairs were not invented in 1846 i was like is this guy for real that's amazing i loved working there though it's fine i would believe that yeah yeah of course if your uncle told you. Well, yeah. It's like, oh, 1846. I ain't never been on no mezzanine. Yeah. And that's your uncle teaching you to be appreciative of your stairs at home. Yeah.

You're like, go home and hug your stairs. Thank your parents. Don't have any parties on their stairs. Oh, man. Yeah, I've always wondered about those Heritage Parks, because there's one in Calgary when I grew up. Yeah, Heritage Park. And I always felt bad when people would

ask the teenagers these detailed questions. Like, they'd be like, what year was the, who was the prime minister in this? And the kid's like, I don't know, know 8 25 an hour whatever i don't know yeah it wasn't they gave us a lot of like we had to learn a lot yeah it was just like but it was mostly the same questions over and over did people hook up was it a was it

a like uh there's i did, but there were a lot of marriages that came out of interpreters. Sure, people getting married in the street, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, a lot of those people actually ended up getting married, I think. Gross. Yeah, gross, right?

Disgusting. I mean, it's fun when it's fake, but then, yuck. I mean, the thing about Fort Edmonton, my mom worked there when it first opened, and I volunteered when I was four months old. What? I was a baby and like she brought me to work they put me in one of those in one of the baby Jesus

yeah baby Jesus it's my first acting we're making you guys totally missed it I thought that was funny I said I nailed it anyway oh sorry guys I'm glad it brought you brought it back around but uh yeah it was fun it was a fun place to work i also did like after hours like we is a role called park host so they rent out a lot of buildings for weddings and things like that and like they don't want to pay for city security until after midnight so they pay us ten dollars an hour to hang out they get a posse yeah it was a barcos posse and like so we would just have to go around to the different

venues when they were when the parties were happening and make sure everything was okay and it was burning shit down but the best part was I caught one time I I caught a couple in the in the married men's quarters in the fort because he could rent out that one thing, and they were banging on a fur. I mean, we dare to dream. But the thing was, I was like, you guys can't do this here,

after I watched for five minutes. This is historically inaccurate. That position wasn't invented yet. No, no, no. nobody's 69 in 1846 Nobody's 69 in 1846 But the girl was like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed I'm like, you should just be more horrified that you were Like, naked on one of those furs that are like

40 years old and probably filled with mites And stuff like that Disgusting And now you're filled with mites Now you're filled with mites And maybe a that. Disgusting. And now you're filled with mites. Now you're filled with mites and maybe a baby. Yeah. Mites and tykes. Oh, I like that.

That's my daughter's preschool. Yeah, yeah. Did anyone ever rent it out for a rave? You know what? Maybe. We used to have great staff parties. I bet. Really good staff parties.

Moonshine, et cetera. Moonshine. Yeah, no. There's a big hangar there. I think that they had big parties there. I mean, I'm not going to brag. No brag. Trooper came.

That's also historically inaccurate. That's very historically historically inaccurate trooper wasn't around yeah trooper was not they weren't actually around in 1846 it's weird they were the boys in the bright white wagon yeah pretty well done pretty good yeah waving their hands in the air anyway but yeah i got to hang out with trooper once um how old was tro yeah, I got to hang out with Trooper once. How old was Trooper when you got to hang out with him? Probably in their 50s. Nice. They were into me.

Of course. You were the one what used to make the bread. Yeah. I was. But yeah, I know. I mean, I have some stories that I probably should never share in public from that place. Okay. I disagree. No one's recording this.

I could tell the story, but I'm not going to say which politician, but it was a very, he's now not even alive anymore, so. Don Ives. Okay. It wasn't Don Ives. But I remember he, I mean, most people in Alberta can guess. I don't know why I'm telling this story. Well, we all know who it is, so continue.

He was at an event and he was wasted. What? Well, it's not the guy I was thinking of. He was at an event and he was wasted and he stumbled into the kitchen and I was hanging out with some of the other park hosts and he looked and it was two other girls and he goes, you girls, you're real Alberta girls.

You got big breasts. And that was my face. The face that you're making that nobody can hear on the podcast but it's live for you, so you guys. It was like, I can't believe this guy just said that to me. Anyway, he's no longer with us, so that's fine. It felt like he had a second thing to say to you. You got big breasts?

No. And you're going to be voters soon. with us. It felt like he had a second thing to say. You have big breasts? No. And you're going to be motor soon. He was proud of Alberta women. That's all I got to say. Yeah, good for him. And all the hormones in the milk. Is that what does it?

I think so. I've heard that. I've heard that a lot of young women are large chested now because of all the hormones. That's what I'm going to start blaming my chest on. Damn you, milk. It's pretty good. Huh? Milk? Your chest is pretty good.

Thanks, buddy. Do you drink a lot of milk? No. No. In fact, this was like a year ago. I was at a friend's house, and she drank a glass of milk in front of me, and I was like, it was the most insane thing I'd ever seen.

It was like the scene in Clockwork Orange that focuses on milk. It was so, I was like, I haven't seen somebody just drink a glass of milk. If you think about it, it's really disgusting. No, even if you don't think about it. Just even if you see it. If you think about it, it's really disgusting. No, even if you don't think about it. Just even if you see it. If you look at it, yeah.

And I drink a ton of it. I don't even think about it and we go through gallons. We're the only mammals that drink other mammals' milk. Well, it's because we're the smartest. Chimpanzees would if they figured it out. You're a dad. Have you ever tried breast milk? What are you asking me?

Whether in the heat of passion or you just saw it in a fridge and you were like, hmm. Well, no, I've tried my mother's breast milk. No, of course, of course. But are there dads in the crowd here? I can say there are no dads here. There are no dads here.

Clap if you've tried breast milk. I wish. No, I have not. Really? Really. I mean, I would try it if I ever had a baby. I would definitely. Try your own. Or someone else's. One for you, one for me.

Well, you have two. Milk, milk, lemonade. Well, you have two. Yeah. Milk, milk, lemonade. Yeah. Now, was there not a restaurant in France that was making a fancy ice cream? Yeah. Made out of breast milk. And they were also making a ton of money from it.

Yeah. Yeah. Who's curious? Be honest. Who is actually curious about what I am? I want to know what it tastes like. Yeah. Yeah. Some people are.

Some people can be honest with themselves. I'm curious, but I can't bring myself to do it. You have a pregnant wife. You have to try it. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to yourself and to the rest of us. Report back. Should I put it on cereal?

Yes. Yeah, put it on some cereal. I'll pour some quick in there. Up to you, man. But I'm horr on cereal? Yes. Yeah, put it on some cereal. Or pour some quick in there. Oh, yeah. Up to you, man. But, like, I'm horrified about, like, breastfeeding. Not that it's a gross thing, but, like, my friends that have babies, they're just like, it just squirts, just shoots out of you sometimes.

I'm like, really? Yeah. Like, it's just, like, you're, it's horrifying to me, but I'm not a mom. It's natural. It's natural and Natural and beautiful. Absolutely. Whip your tits out and shove them in your baby's face, please. I want to see it.

Real Alberta girls. No problem. Big breasts. I just find it a little horrifying. Pregnancy makes me ugh. Most people look at a pregnant woman and be like, what, beautiful. I'm like, there is a human inside of that human. Yeah, but how did you, what, up until that point, what did you think?

I know how babies are made. Trust me. Let me ask you this. Which is grosser, a human growing inside or a lady dropping a whole pile of eggs with humans in them, and then they grow up on a beach. We're not chickens. We're turtles. Yeah. And then the babies come out,

and they've got to get down to the hot dog stand before it closes. That's pretty creepy, too. I just like, I mean, good for you. You're having a baby, but it terrifies me. Good for you, but also don't. That's an alien. Think twice.

Think twice. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, man. He's going to try breast milk. Not a heck of a lot. We just flew here today, and my highlight of the day this morning was in the airport. I was telling you something, and then I just got excited, and I started whispering, and you were like, what?

What? What's going on? Dave, what's going on? And I was like, adult twins. Adult twins traveling together. Is that really? Yeah. It was so exciting.

Were they dressed the same? No. No. Oh, that's mean. but i can tell from the glasses yeah they were for sure adult twins it was very exciting it's um i don't know what what's weird about it but it's it's not like you see kid twins and you're like yeah it's fine yeah call me when you're an adult that's what I'll be really interested. I don't know.

It blew me away. There's a show that myself and past guest Alicia Tobin are obsessed with called 90 Day Fiance. And if you haven't seen it, you are missing out. But one of the fiances is an adult twin. And his twin brother does not care for the fiancée that he's picked out, but they have the same haircut. They do this.

But why would you, if you were a twin, why wouldn't you... Would you go, if you were a twin, and you wanted to get your twin's haircut, would you go to the same person at the same time? Yes. Or would you bring a picture of your twin and be like, like this? No, I would go with my twin, but I would go to one of the places the kids get their haircut. So I'd sit on a seat.

Or would you cut each other's hair? Oh, absolutely. You have twin brains. Yeah, now do my, but I'd say it in twin language. If you were a twin, would you ever be like go get your hair cut and then leave with your haircut

and have your twin come in and be like, it didn't work. I would totally do that. I would fuck with people all the time. Like you show up pregnant and then you show up not. It didn't work. That's sad. I shouldn't have said that.

It didn't work. That was great. I'm sorry. I talked over it. Oh boy, that was fantastic. It didn't work. So this one better be free. Exactly! That's how you get free

haircuts. Oh boy, I love it. So yeah, saw some twins. What's going on with you? Well, today, we walked around for a bit. It was very cold, so it was a small bit, but we passed around for a bit. It was very cold. So it was only a small bit.

But we passed by the Deadminton. There's like a theater that does a spooky, spooky spook. Haunted house. Well, it's not a house. It's like a spooky spook. Yeah, it's more like a spooky spook. Did you go in? Well, here's the thing.

We walked in kind of hoping that we were walking into the thing, but it was noon, so that's a weird time. I just gotta get my lunchtime spook. Before I get back to work selling stocks. Hi, Brian. This is your boss. Do you want to take a long lunch and go get spooked?

Am I getting fired? No, no, no, no. Go up that adrenaline, please. So the main spook center was closed. The main spook center. Which, if you ask me, they should have let us just walk around in it. That would have been the spookiest of all. Well, we're celebrities.

Yeah. But we went into the gift shop that you come out. Has anybody been in the spook house? Yeah? Is it good? Yeah? They said the wait for it? Yeah? Is it good? Yeah? They said the wait for it is four hours long. What?

Yeah, I'm like, you literally, the last thing would have to be like, my landlord, like, get out! Like, it would have to be that scary. But like, I mean, I can see people waiting four hours.

It's so nice out. Yeah, yeah, that's true. So, yeah, so we hung out in the gift shop for a while. Do they have that haunted house thing where you, like, reach in behind a curtain and you're like, brains. Or peeled grapes in its eyeballs. Yeah. Remember one time in junior high they did that and it was, like, stew and they're like, vomit. It was disgusting. You're like, well, it's so hot. It's hot. Well, that's it was like stew and they're like vomit. It's disgusting.

You're like, what's so hot? It's hot. Well, that's because it's stew. It's milk from a human boob. Horrifying. Horrifying. We just used regular milk and peeled it.

Did I ever tell you about when I went to the haunted house at the P&E? You tell me it every year. I haven't heard it. I sit down, I light a fire in my house or someone else's. In the bush. Yeah. I, one year,

went to the thing, and it's all teenagers dressed up in spooky costumes that jump out and scare you. And I came around like they hadn't reset from the last jump. So I came around the corner and there was two skeletons talking about a girl they liked. I'm like, come on, you guys. Wait, did they both like her? Yeah, they were both just talking about, no, talk to her. You should talk to her. I was like, you guys. Wait, did they both like her? Yeah, they were both just talking about, no, talk to her. You should talk to her.

I was like, you guys. Oh, my God. Two skeletons? Two skeletons. Adult twins. Skeletless twins. We went and we just looked at all the... Now they only have clown.

That's the only option for scary costumes. Yeah, yeah. What is happening with clowns in America right now? We are the clowns in America. Whoa. But is there, is it something like, are there people like. Yeah, there's people. Is it the insane clown posse?

Have they finally gone insane? Oh, now that's the headline that keeps you watching the whole half hour of news has the insane clown posse finally caught stick around till the end of the cast to find out uh yeah there's some there's some uh some real jokers down the states there's some tomfoolery happening down there i think i think it's a viral marketing campaign for the new it movie that's my theory oh really. I think it's a viral marketing campaign for the new It movie. That's my theory. Oh, really? Let's all

go around and say our theories. You now. I just think it's some bored people. Sure. Mine would be a hat that says, what time is it, pussy? What time is it, pussy? What time is it?

Like you're a bully. Asking for the time. And he has to read your clock. What time is it, you pussy? What time is it, pussy? What a scary clown. This clown came out and asked me for the time. Call me pussy.

My favorite thing that they had in the costume shop were these hockey mustaches. Oh yeah. It's like rub on tattoos of hockey logos in different shapes of mustaches. It is the thread combining all those elements. It's very thin.

But I want to be the guy in the boardroom going yes. Winnipeg Jets, Hitler mustache. Oh my God, I was just at a 60-year-old or 5-year-old's birthday party before I came here. You should know. Yeah, yeah. They put a number up.

I was asking them what breast milk tasted like. Do you remember? You must remember. You remember. You must remember. You're young enough to remember. You're a coddled. You still do it. No, but one of the kids was coloring with a black marker. And he literally colored a Charlie Chaplin mustache.

Yeah, fun. Kids love the silence. I mean, it's nothing funnier than seeing a kid with aplin mustache. Yeah, fun. Kids love the silence. I mean, it's nothing funnier than seeing a kid with a Hitler mustache. I'm not kidding you. He was blonde-haired and blue-eyed. I don't know. This is getting too offensive.

I'm sorry. But it was awesome. What a fun party. It was a good party. Is it time, Graham? Do you want to move on? Yes, absolutely. I say it is time to move on to Overheard.

Overheard. What a nice voice. Yeah. Oh, boy. Preserved forever on vinyl. Yeah, like a young Dean Martin who got punched in the throat. Now, this is a segment all about how our lives

got flipped, turned upside down. This is a segment where we go around, we hear things, funny things that we've overheard. Sometimes we see things. Sure, it's true. Sometimes we dream things. Oh, boy.

And we share these things with you, the audience. And we always, always like to start with the guest. Okay. Kathleen, would you? Lead the charge. Sure. I was at the Vancouver airport and I was sitting there and there was a

woman in, I don't know, she looked like a business lady. Probably the same age as me, but she was successful. And I heard her on the- And you pointed at each other. You! No, you!

Freaky Friday! But this was- All I heard her say into the phone was, she got married, she got a house, she got a baby. She's done. And I don't know if she was envious or she was just like, idiot. Yeah. No, I think she was saying like, here's to so-and-so.

That's an offensive hat to buy. It is an offensive hat. I just don't, like, I know that tone from a woman and it sounded like she was like, mm-hmm. She's done. She's done. Now it's my turn. Yeah. Where my baby at? Where's my baby at?

But literally, where's my baby at? I'm a terrible mother. I'm just hanging out at the airport all day dressed as a businesswoman. My breasts hurt. That's another thing that happens when you breastfeed. If you don't let it out, it hurts. Apparently. I don't know. Yeah, I could tell you more off mic.

So to you, the scariest haunted house. Maternity. Yeah, just a bunch of women posing with their hands as hearts over their swollen bellies. That's my nightmare. That's my nightmare.

That is my nightmare. And me having to be happy for them. Oh, thank you for bringing more humans into this fucked up world. Congratulations. What's your perfect haunted house? My perfect haunted house?

It's like 20 Kathleen's. Just drunker and drunker? And you, Graham, yours? I've often said that I thought a great theme for a haunted house would be puberty. Where you go in and the first thing you see is a mirror that makes you look all greasy and you've got acne again. You're like, no! And then you go in a room and it's just a phone

and you pick it up and it's the girl you like. And your mom's on the upstairs floor. And she's yelling down, do you have it yet? That's my ideal. Dave, do you have an overheard? Okay. Mine is also airplane related. That's my ideal. Dave, do you have an overheard? Okay. Mine is also airplane related.

And this was a flight I took a couple, I guess a month ago. And there was a little kid and his mom in the seats behind me. And the little kid was looking at the, he was like 10. And he was looking at all the movie options. And he said, I can watch Deadpool. And his mother said, you cannot watch Deadpool.

And just that frozen hand, like about to touch the screen. My brother said, because my nephew's six, and I was like, I loved Deadpool. And he's like, yeah, I think Will could handle it. Like, he's six. I mean, it's fine. Yeah, every kid's got to learn about deadpools sooner or later yeah but you have to learn about the deadpools in your neighborhood so you can understand when i was a kid you used to have to find deadpools out in the forest in a stump and just read it with your friends now you can just see it on a plane some

weird kid at camp had already heard about what Deadpool does and he would tell it wrong. Graham, is it? Is it Graham? It is. Oh, hi. Overheard from you? Yes, mine, luckily, because doing these live shows,

you run real low, so now my mind just fumes, but I got one at the airport when I went to... Was it identical twins? It was two twins saying at the same time, red rum. And I was like, what are these guys talking about?

It was a kid and a mother. And you know you've got in the fancy airports, you've got the walkways that you stand on and they walk for you. And the kid of the kid and mom combo was so excited to go on the walkway. And the mom was like, mom's just going to walk.

And the kid was like, like scrambled to get on the walkway and just said to his mom, see's just gonna walk. And the kid was like, like scrambled to get on the walkway and just said to his mom, see you in the future. Pretty good kid. Pretty good sass back kid. See you in the future. Oh man, when I was a kid, I think I was excited every

time I took a flight, but they didn't have nearly the stuff they have now. No moving sidewalks, no movies. But we did get to go to the cockpit. Oh, I did? You did? I did. I never got to go to the cockpit.

I didn't. My last name's Bin Laden. My last name's Bin Laden. Even then they knew. But back in the 80s, the Bin Ladens were a good family, weren't they? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I don't know much about history.

They're still a good family. Well, I worked at a historical park and people would ask me about the Bin Ladens. I'd just make up shit. You had to pretend not to know. Yeah. It was an 80s historical park. People would be like, have you seen Wall Street? I'm like, it just came out.

That's going to happen soon. There are going to be like historical have you seen Wall Street? I'm like, it just came out. That's going to happen soon. There are going to be historical parks from the 80s. There will be. But why would it be a park? It would be a mall, right? It would be a carpeted mall, and Tiffany would be performing. I think it should still be an old-timey wood log cabin thing. With the gap in it?

You learn to tie your bandanas around your leg like Punky Brewster. And an old-timey farmer's like, greed is good. I don't know why I'm stuck on Wall Street. Or why you sound like Yoda. Is that not... Greed is good?

Yeah, that is my old man voice. That's how Yoda says good is greed. Now, in addition to overheards that we have, we invite any of you that have overheards... We have this microphone all set up for you if anybody's brave enough. We're not... It's a spooky time of year.

I appreciate if nobody's brave enough. Absolutely. We're not a gotcha podcast. There's a girl walking. I don't know if she's going to the bathroom or if she's coming this way. It's her. She's waving. She's waving. She's brave enough. She's going to... Not like the rest of you cowards here.

Yeah. And maybe she might inspire some of you to be brave. Hello. I want to you to be brave. Hello. I want to see you be brave. Say what you want to say. Hillary. Are you a wedding DJ part time? Yeah, I'm a wedding DJ who only sings.

Hi, what's your name? I'm Laura Lynn. Hi, Laura Lynn. Hello, welcome. Hello, thanks. Where are you from. Hello, welcome. Hello, thanks. Where are you from? Edmonton. Oh, cool.

I'm here, too. Have you heard of it? Yeah. Have you heard of it? Go Rams. Go Rams. Go Rams. Now, I understand you have an overheard.

I do. And an overseen, if you want to. Yeah. I mean, looks like no one else has one. The overheard is pretty good. I was at the Experience Music Project in Seattle, and I was in the Nirvana exhibit, and right near the end of the exhibit,

they've got each of the band members on the wall, like huge pictures that take up the whole wall, and they've got quotes written on them, and there was this kind of Gen X couple that had their probably like 12 year old daughter with them and they're walking in and she looks up on the wall and she's like

she's like oh that guy's really cute and her dad says you think Dave Grohl's cute? And she says that's a girl? Dave Grohl's cute? And she says, that's a girl? Dave Grohl. Oh, man. I'm going to go back in time and tease Dave Grohl when he's a kid.

I want to know what made them like a Gen X couple. Like, were they dressed like they were from the 90s? Yeah. In grunge and stuff? They were just holding on to everything? Yeah. Was the mother in a baby doll dress with red lipstick i kind of wish were they dressed in like mittens and scarves cool yeah real cool like and invisible glasses yeah i understand you haven't overseen it as well it uh just this black suv that i've seen twice now driving around town that has a vinyl decal that covers the entire back windshield that they've obviously gotten done custom and it

says one nine xx like 19 something established everything. Oh, yeah. I don't know why. That's Don Iveson's vehicle. In your face, 2000s onward. That's what they're saying, right? That's going to be the slogan of our 80s theme park. Yeah. 19-something.

Established everything. Laura Lynn, everybody. Yeah, that was awesome. Lynn, everybody. That was awesome. Oh, another. Another. Welcome. Hello. Hello. What's your name,

m'lady? Sarah. You said you wouldn't say m'lady once this trip. You owe me a Coke. I get to be bad. Sorry, what was your name? Sarah. Sarah. Hello, Sarah. You owe me a Coke. I get to be bad. Sorry, what was your name? Sarah. Sarah. Hello, Sarah. You have an over... Kind of over experience.

I moved into my new building and forgot to not talk to people in elevators. And I was in the elevator with this guy and he hit the top floor and I said, oh, nice, top floor. And he's like, oh, yeah, I always tell people that if I write a letter to Penthouse,

it will be at least half true. That's a good rule of thumb. Is he single? And I kind of laughed. I was like, oh, and he was like, yeah, I'm never sure if people are laughing with me or against me. And I said, oh, I was laughing with you. And he said, yeah.

I mean, it's fine either way. I just hope whoever laughs at me isn't the one that makes me snap. Whoa. And then we had five more floors just in silence. Well, at least he knows what floor you live on.

Yeah. He's like, are you going to snooze a palooza this weekend? Oh, my goodness, Sarah, everybody. Hello. Hello. What is your name?

Dana. Hi, Dana. Hi. Over heard? Yes, overheard. Sure. This was back when I was grocery shopping at a good, uh, Canadian superstore. That gets a whoop.

Come on. She said the good one. It was a pretty good one. It was on the South side. It was pretty good. Okay. Woo. Yeah.

Um, so I was, um, in the bakery section, the bread section, and there was like a younger couple, probably in their mid twenties or so. And it was a guy and a girl and the guy holds up a like a loaf of like a marble rye like a good marble rye he's like okay well what about this one and she like shakes her head she's like no and he's like is it the shape do you not trust the shape and she just like somberly like nodded her head. She's like yes. Okay, we'll keep looking. We need a perfect one. We're on a quest for some sort of bread.

Yeah, this is your wedding loaf. Gotta find the right one. Yeah. Dana everybody. Thank you. Marble rye. I like a marble rye. Well, it was a good rye from a good superstore.

Yeah, absolutely. You think it would be good enough. You gotta say yes to the look. But how do you not trust bread? Huh? How do you, like, not trust? I'll tell you a story after the podcast. Yeah.

Hello! Hi there. Hi, Dave, Graham. Hello. Lovely guest. Thank you. I haven't overheard for you. What's. Hi, Dave, Graham. Hello. Lovely guest. Thank you. I haven't overheard for you. What's your name, sir?

Oh, I'm Delaney L. From Edmonton. Hello. Yes. What, Delaney L? Yes, Delaney. Oh, oh, you said Delaney L. Okay, Delaney.

Yes. Cool. Delaney. Sorry, guys, I'm confused about everything. It's okay. We're all friends here. We're not that close. And I just met you.

Fire away, Delaney. So I was walking along, following behind some young teens the other day. Very brave of you. Wait, wait, wait. You're a predator in this story. No, I see him as a brave, not crossing the street because of teens.

He's following them. I know. Teens are the worst! They were like a young teenager couple. Like supple? There we go, yeah. Supple! Your words, not mine. But we were

we weren't all, but they were walking. I was walking close enough to hear them. And we were walking by some city workers, and they kind of like slowed and watched in awe. And he was kind of like, what is that? And she's like, what's what? And he's like, that. And she's like, it's a leaf blower.

And he was like, I got to get me one of those. That's what I thought. Delaney, everybody. Delaney. Oh, man. I like a young person with ambition. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's everybody's thought when they see a leaf blower for the first time, though. I'm going to get one of those. I got to get me one of those. I'm tired of my backpack that doesn't blow things around. She's going to blast it in the face of a horse. Oh, they love it. I know this gentleman's name. This is Joshua.

This is Joshua. Oh, okay. Hello, Joshua. Hello, Dave. Hi, Josh. Hello. I have an overheard. It was a very low mic.

I'm just going to lean into it. Yeah, yeah, Hello, Graham. Hello. I have an overheard. It was a very low mic. I'm just going to lean into it. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. I used to work at a restaurant around here. Can we turn him down? I used to work at a restaurant. And I was taking the garbage out one night, and there was a bar across the street, and these two dudes came out

and all i could hear was one of them shouting woo pounding asses like apples absolutely yes i think we all understand that let me just clarify though it was a gentleman with another gentleman yeah okay gentleman. And a very gentle one. That's awesome. Like apples. Is that because he eats a lot of apples? Or because he works at a cider mill.

Anybody's guess is as good as mine. Third guess, he hates apples and also hates pounding ass. No one hates pounding ass, Graham's very hard work nice work if you can get walking by those city workers just pounding ass all day I mean I wish there's one guy pounding ass, six guys standing around watching. Am I right? But you know, once you get into the ass-pounding union,

it's just like, you're sailing. The ass-pounders union is my favorite Soul Asylum album. Oh, boy. Joshua, everybody. Yay. Whoo. Whoo. Is there one here, and just one more?

Is that right? That seems to have been the lineup. Yeah. Okay, all right. Just checking. There's a lot of brave people here tonight. Yeah, it started with one and it built into an army. Hello, what's your name?

I'm Spartacus. My name is Erin. Hi, Erin. I'm from Ponoka. Okay! Are you a rodeo queen? I am not, but I quite enjoyed all your Wachaskwin stories. It's very adjacent.

I actually sent you this overheard a few days ago, but you never heard of it. Okay, now this is it. This is it. Okay. So, I was at the club and I was waiting at the bar, and I heard these two young ladies come up behind me,

and one said to the other, Oh, I can't believe you're out tonight. You were so drunk last night. And the other one said, Yeah, I was. I'm hung like a horse. Oh, my God. There it is, everybody. That's amazing. Oh, boy. I love young dumb women.

I love it. It's my favorite. Hello. What's your name? My name's Carla. Carla. Carla, everybody. I'm from Victoria, but I moved here so we could have a house.

So we could have a house? Sure. I call upstairs. I call top bunk. I call top bunk. And you found a house? Yes, we have. Good. That's good.

That's a good ending to that story. Yes. Right? Thanks, Carla. Yeah. And you haven't overheard I do haven't overheard actually we were having a drink over at the Sherlock pub before we came over here

woo I'm more of a Watson guy going Cumberbatch and I turned my head and I just happened to catch the only sentence in this one conversation and all I heard was I'm not saying you should experiment on your kids.

But I am. I was working in the lab. That's awesome. There was no but, but it was implied. Yeah. Carl, everybody. I do believe that's the end of the lineup of overheard folks.

I do believe, my lady. Yeah, I do declare. Get the end of the lineup of overheard folks. I do believe, my lady. Yeah, I do declare. Get the fainting couch ready. Kathleen, you, tomorrow night, you are opening for Bruce McCullough. Really? Yeah, I'm really excited. Where is this happening? It's at the All Saints Anglican Church. Cool.

I'm doing comedy in a church. And they said I couldn't. There was only one restriction. I'm not comedy in a church. And they said I couldn't. There was only one restriction. I'm not going to share it. And then they said, but then just like as God would intend, just be yourself. Now, are you afraid that halfway through your set, they're going to try and dose you with holy water? Then I'll just turn it into a wet t-shirt contest. Turned it back on them.

I love it. No. Take that, God. Wouldn't that be the best wet t-shirt contest ever? God has it coming. What, you versus God? No, a holy water one.

Holy water. Pour some. Whatever God likes. What's God's sugar pour some crackers on me charity sure

it'll be fun oh lordy thank you so much for being our guest thank you for having me Kathleen McGee everybody thank you all so much for coming out here

yeah to the live podcast we'll hang around if you want to say hello yeah we'll be out in the lobby I think yeah thanks to the live podcast. We'll hang around if you want to say hello. Yeah, we'll be out in the lobby, I think. Thanks to the Up and Downtown Festival for having us. Absolutely. Thank you to CKUA.

Thank you to Elliot. Thank you to Scott. Who else? Thank you to Duke. Yeah, it was a guy that we met. A real guy named Duke. You know, so we checked a lot of our bucket list off on this trip. Battle of Twins, met a guy named Duke,

afternoon spooks. And thank all of you. Yeah, thank you so much. Everybody have a safe trip home. Enjoy the rest of the festival. Have a good night.