Stop Podcasting Yourself - Bonus Episode - LIVE from the Canadian Comedy Awards

Episode Date: August 30, 2012

Comedian Debra DiGiovanni joins us for a live show from Toronto's Comedy Bar during Canadian Comedy Awards weekend. Recorded on Friday, August 24th.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hey, everybody! Hello, welcome down. What a joy to be here! A very special live podcast extravaganza from the Comedy Bar in sweaty hot Toronto.

Oh, it's so gross! Toronto, what's going on? Oh, come on Toronto, get with it! How gross are you? Like, all the time or just today? Yeah. I'm gross. You know.

Look, it's great. Thanks for coming out. My name's Dave. This is my friend Graham. We are Stop Podcasting. It's a great joy to be with you here in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Yeah. Yeah. We're super stoked to be with you here in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Yeah. Yeah, we're super stoked to be here on the same weekend as Fan Expo.

Yeah. And the Busker Convention. Buscon. Did you – see, that was the thing. I didn't know – well, I still don't know what Fan Expo is, but I know that when we were checking into the hotel at 7 in the morning, there was a guy wearing... What was it?

Back in the day, it was like a Nintendo thing that you would run on. It was a power pad, or it was like the Dance Dance Revolution pad that you'd dance on? But he was wearing it like a shirt. Yeah. And nobody was like,

Sir, please leave. Nobody was And nobody was like, sir, please leave. Nobody was like, get out, sir. And from the neck up, he was dressed like Macho Man Randy Savage. He had the sunglasses and the beard and the long hair. But Dave and I, by the time we got here, were delirious.

You were trying to conjure the name Macho Man Randy Savage. I couldn't remember Macho Man Randy Savage. And I was like, what's his name? Rocky Management? Yeah, Rocky Management. You know what we forgot to do? Get to know us. Oh, well, sure.

Let's get to know. Music cue. There we go. Get to know us Oh, that's nice So hot, you guys Yeah, guys, come on So, what is Fan Expo?

Because we, so far today I saw the Nintendo guy And a Jessica Rabbit I saw Ghostbuster I saw, what's her name, Laura Cro saw what's his name Laura Croft but like if Laura Croft is in second year

university he's put on like the first and the fifth yeah so what is it? it's like a celebration

of geek culture because you know there's not enough of those these days oh it's true yeah it's like not Comic Con

but it is Comic Concon but is it is it anybody here did anybody here go to it they don't have microphones that's okay no but i see there was like an eerie silence because there was like somebody's like oh he saw me in my laura croft yeah um so uh dave what's going on with you? You had an eventful afternoon Yeah, I've learned some facts about Toronto Like, do you know how certain cities will have sports teams that are sort of named after industries in the city? Like the Milwaukee Brewers

Absolutely, I know that Yeah, and like the Detroit Pistons because they make cars. Did you know that the Toronto Raptors are named after the city's many rapper slash actors like Drake?

Yes, I did. Maestro Fresh West. And a third? And a third? Yep, a third. Cardinal Oficial. I don't know. He doesn't act, really.

Here's what's going on with me. I told you a few weeks ago that I took up running, like fast walking. Like the Olympics, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. And I've been running around Vancouver, around my house, and I have this route that I go, and it's five kilometers. It takes me half an hour.

Woo! All right, Dave, way to go! And, uh... But I'm in Toronto, and I was like, oh, it's so gross outside. It's so... You guys know it's really hot and smells like garbage, right? But like from every direction. It was like, oh, if you just move your head a bit this way.

Every kind of garbage. I'm not, like, good for you. But it's like that like phantom cartoon stink that just like wraps around your head like, what? So today I went to the hotel gym, and I went on the treadmill, and then I realized I've never been on a treadmill in my life. Really? Yeah.

Oh, wow. What a trip this has been so far. Yeah. Are you kidding me? And I was like, okay, this can't be too hard to master. So you put on your ice skates? I had rollerblades. It was super easy.

There's two other people on other treadmills and there's another person doing solo Pilates. There's a little kid waiting for his mom to get out of the dressing room. And he's just playing with the rowing machine. You know, the seat that goes back and forth. And he's just pushing it back and forth. And these are the people that witnessed me fall down.

Like you slipped off of it. I fell down. You put it on fast and then tried to like. I fell down you put it on fast and then tried to I fell down and I rocketed off the back because you start off on the treadmill and you're like okay I don't know what I'm doing

there's these handles here am I supposed to hold on to these? It seems unnatural. It's like I'm not, like when I run, I don't usually push a baby buggy. But the way you're doing it, it looks like reindeer. Yeah. It's the Iditarod treadmill. And so I did, and I had like it within miles and I didn't know how to calculate my speed.

And so, whoa. And so I started off really slow, and I'm just sort of bouncing along. And I go faster, and it's fine. And there's also a place to put your cup, and there's a place to put, I don't know, whatever else. So I put my iPod in there, and I'm listening to my iPod. I don't know, whatever else. So I put my iPod in there, and I'm listening to my iPod. And as I'm going faster, I'm doing fine,

but eventually I knock my iPod out of the little holder, and it's going down. And so I go to catch it, and I lose my footing. And I... When it happens to you... And it will. Yeah. What goes through your mind is all of those videos you've seen on YouTube of people doing that or on America's Funniest Home Videos. And you think, you remember thinking, why were these people filming themselves running on a treadmill in the first place? Yeah, yeah.

And is someone filming this? Yeah. on a treadmill in the first place. Yeah, yeah. And is someone filming this? Yeah. Someday they'll ask that kid that was at the rowing machine, he'll be a great physical comedian in France,

and they'll be like, when did you first... And he's like, I was at the hotel in Toronto. French accents, yes. But it happened in slow motion, and I had the chance to think about that, and then I had the chance to think about that and then I had the chance to think about

oh all these other people in the gym I'm sure they've seen this a million times people fall off treadmills every day and then when I looked up after I landed on the ground everyone looked so

so scared for me but they were all managing to keep their stride. Don't do what that dude does. And they were like, are you all right? And I was four minutes into my run. And I was like, yeah, it was the iPod. And basically, I got back on it. And you know what? If life gives you, wait, no. Roller coasters. Yeah. It was the iPod, and basically I got back on it.

And you know what? If life gives you – wait, no. Rollercoasters. Yeah. Treadmill knocks you off. You've got to get right back on it. And I ran. You know what?

I was like Forrest Gump. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you have to run off the shame. Yeah, I drank all those Dr. Peppers. But I got a couple of really good rug burns. Yeah, and you got a story to tell. Yeah, because you were excited when I met you in the lobby. You're like, oh, I got a great story.

You slept all day. I slept. That's what I did. Because I thought I was going to sleep. We took the red-eye flight, and I thought I was going to sleep. You threw the red-eye? Yeah, but I understand why. Now, having taken it, stinkaroo. Guys, I didn't sleep at all.

Is that why it's called the red eye? Is that the whole thing? That's why? No, it's because of all the reefer. Oh, man. You can really only do this kind of stuff at clubs. Yeah, yeah We're the most dangerous men in podcasting

You guys voted for most dangerous podcast, right? Yeah, yeah Podcast you don't want to bring home tomorrow Because she'd be like, what's a podcast? But the guy next to me on the plane He was the worst He had the creeping leg He me on the plane, he was the worst. He had the creeping leg. He was in the middle seat, so he kept creeping over.

Yeah, well, somebody's had it before, and it is not okay. And so I gave him a quick, like, no, no, with my leg. Like, no, this is no. But he would pretend he wasn't sleeping. I know he wasn't and his leg would loll over into my side and his arm and he and then he would yawn it smelled like like what i imagine a sea lion when they yawn smells like ah so it was gross it's gross yeah but i slept i slept it off i'm great i read the complimentary newspaper that was delivered to my room. Now, we went for a walk for breakfast this morning, and you noticed two people, I think, who had bandanas.

Look, there was at least four people wearing bandanas, standing in a group, outside of Tim Hortz. Very menacing. Yeah. And then, so you made the judgment of the city. Yeah. It's a real bandana kind of town. That's what I said, yeah. And I stand by it.

And you guys know that I'm right, right? Everywhere you go, you can't go out of your house without tripping over some guy with a bandana. But we did not, we didn't see a single other bandana. No, that's not true. I saw a guy with a giant feather sticking out of the lobe of his ear. Yeah, that counts. Yeah, no, but he probably had like 12 of them in his bag, we concluded.

All right. Oh, yeah, one other thing. This is, I'm doing my like Regis Philbin. Ah, what's in the paper today? Joy and I went out to the soup. God rest his soul. Yeah. God rest his soul.

Yeah. Do you guys know that at the Toronto Zoo, there's a project going on where they give orangutans iPads? It's right there. Here's a picture of the orangutan. That seems like you're really attempting the old Planet of the Apes fate, right? Don't give them direct access. Why do they need that?

And the guy I saw him interviewed on the news, and he's like, you know, in the jungle there's a lot of things that keep them challenged, a lot of events every day. A lot of apps. Yeah, a lot of apps, absolutely. They like that fruit slicing game. Anyways, there's a... There's a... Orangutan Outreach

donated the iPad under initiative called Apps for Apes. So there you go. Writes itself. This isn't fair. I didn't get a newspaper. Yeah, you did.

It was probably sitting out in front of your door. Well, probably one of the Fan Expo guys stole it. Probably made a little paper mache Dragon Ball Z hat. I don't know what things are. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what's going on. I think we... Oh, yeah, the other great thing.

This is the greatest thing. On the way in from the airport, we're like delirious. And Dave was like, oh, look to your right. This is really funny. It's a really funny ad on this van. And I looked over and it was a baby holding a monkey wrench. And it was for a plumbing company. And the thing said like, I always wanted to be a plumber or something like that. And then I thought it was for a plumbing company and the thing said like I always wanted to be a plumber

or something like that and then I thought it was so fucking funny but see if you guys re-listen to this story after not sleeping for 24 hours but then every time it passes it was like hey remember that? remember how fucking funny that was a minute ago?

yeah it was good and then we imagined a grown up baby plumber I don't remember how fucking funny that was a minute ago. Yeah, it was good. And then we imagined a grown-up baby plumber with his diaper, his butt hanging out. We had a ton of fun. Yeah, like he's an adult, but that was a picture of actually him on the side of the van. He's just got very good skin. Yeah, and he just looks like a baby, but he also shows up without his shirt on. So you can see his crazy baby body. Anyways, it was really cute.

Guys, Toronto's got a lot going for it. Do we want to bring out our guest? Let's bring out our guest. Our guest this evening, very, very funny lady. The last time we were in Toronto, she was going to be our guest and had to opt out. And we are so glad to have her here tonight. Please welcome to the stage Miss Debra DiGiovanni, everyone. Debra DiGiovanni.

Debra, how are you? Hey, guys. I'm excellent. How are you? Hey, guys. I'm excellent. How are you? Good. I'll be hot and gross in like five seconds. Absolutely, Jen. Don't worry about that.

Yes. Hi. What's new? What's new with me? Nothing. I had the foot surgery, like you said, so now I have two feet again. See, I never said that. I never said anything about foot surgery.

You didn't tell me about the foot surgery? No, no, I just said that you were... Although we were talking about that ourselves. Yeah, we were talking about it backstage. It feels so real out here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I had foot surgery.

There you go. Do you want to elaborate? I had really gross foot surgery, everybody. I had really upsetting... I told Dave the story backstage. You looked upset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You looked like you might barf a little.

I'm a squeamish guy. So am I. I'm very squeamish and upsetting things out. Like if I would have filmed what happened to my foot and put it on YouTube, like 50 million views. 50 million views it would have been. Do you think that somebody would have dressed up as your foot to go to Fan Expo? Yes. 100% in a big flesh-colored stocking or something.

Very upsetting. High foot surgery. Are you squeamish? But, like, you can take it when it's yourself? No, no. Oh, really? Here's the thing.

I had this, okay, basically it was a cyst under the ball of my foot that was terrible. I know. It was so upsetting. Feeder of the mind, people. I know.

And I was like, I can't walk. I can't walk. Everyone's like, just walk. And then, you know, and then it was awful and then and then i went to uh my the first doctor who was stupid and said terrible things and then i went to a real doctor um and and he says he gave me the most satisfying moment like i took my shoe off and this is what he did oh my god like that's what he did and i was

like i was right so i felt good about that but yeah, so when it, I had a terrible situation where the cyst, unfortunately, broke. I know, gross, guys, at the airport. You know. Come on. Come on. It was very upsetting. And then. No fluids on the flight, man.

Is that under three ounces? Under 50. Yeah, anyway. So, I had to throw my shoe away. That's it. Because it was not. Really? anyway. So I had to throw my shoe away. That's it, because it was not... Really? Anyway, I did have to throw my shoe away. That's not the point!

And then I went home, and I was like, well, let's see what happened here. So then I looked at it, and then I just had a moment where I was like, let's see what happens. And then I... Yeah, yeah. And then I might have pressed on it, and then everybody, everybody... And then terrifying things happened. And then terrifying things happen. And then this, and this is when I realized that I'm squeamish. Because then as I was doing it to my own foot,

I realized I was going to black out and vomit at the same time. So then I had to get myself to the bathroom. And then I had to do a bit of an army crawl in my apartment where I was like blacking out, going to vomit. And then I had to do a bit of an army crawl in my apartment where I was like blacking out, going to vomit. And then I had to army crawl. And then I made it to my bathroom and I lay on my bathroom floor and lay with my garbage can and just barfed quietly to my garbage can as I lay down. Yeah. At least you were quiet.

Yeah. Still single. Still single. Absolutely that deserves a round of applause still single guys I love that you said you barfed quietly

quietly because you don't seem like you do anything quietly you're absolutely right actually yeah that's my poor neighbors have you ever had that before where you've gone to the doctor

and they haven't really seen the thing? Like they're like, whoa. Yeah. Because I had a thing where I got allergy testing, right? And they do like they prick on your arm with all sorts of different allergens. And I reacted so quickly that the doctor said, oh, grab me my stopwatch. And I was like, oh, that's not good. And they were like, clinic record.

Have you... You can do it. You can do it if you put your voice into it. You're so sensitive. You're so sensitive. Now, have you ever had to go to a hospital and have something done where it's a teaching hospital? Have you ever had that done? Oh, let me tell you that story.

I might have had... This is why I'm saying this out loud. There might have been a growth somewhere in the caboose area. All right? Don't. Shush. Now, here's the thing. All right?

Very simple procedure, which I thought was going to be simple until the doctor made like a noise, like a whistle, and then the gang came in. And then they were like, you don't mind. Do you even see Giovanni? I'm already naked. You know what I mean? Already in a paper dress and a whole gang. And you know what the best part was? Is that the kids that were learning

all got to take turns holding my ass down. Like a huddle. Exactly. They were like, okay, Michael. Alright, that's it for you, Michael. Davis, you're up next. And then Davis moved in. It was fantastic. I hooked up after. Don right, that's it for you, Michael. Davis, you're up next. And then Davis moved in. It was fantastic. I hooked up after.

Don't get me wrong. I totally hooked up. Frederick, zero on deck. That was the day that I started wearing, I always wear my shoes when I go to the doctor now. I keep my shoes on all the time now, just in case something happens. In case what? If something happens. Because if something really happens, if I have my shoes on, then I can run.

Do you know what I mean? That's true. Yeah, absolutely. I don't care if you're naked. You run. You're a blur, but you run like a great person. I swear to God, that's it.

Do that. It's a great thing. Had you worn shoes that day, would you have run? If something would have happened, I would have run. Like, I don't know what could have been worse

than a group of men holding my ass down, but... I can think of worse things. I thought you were the squeamish one. No, I... All right worse things. I thought you were the squeamish one. No.

All right. Mom. Enough grossness then. There we go. I had stitches once by a guy that was new.

Oh! Yeah. Did he even work there? That's a good question because scrubs you can buy anywhere.

On DVD. Yeah. Absolutely. He was probably a dental assistant or something. And you had no idea. But he's like,

hey, I'm in the neighborhood anyway. But yeah, after the second stitch, he just made this noise like very under his breath. Oh. What was that?

Awesome. Oh, my God. It is... It's not just me, but it is hot as hell up here. Absolutely. Yeah. God, okay.

No, no, you're great. Everything's great. I thought it was the foot again. Coming back. So, you survived foot surgery. And so, what else? Or is that it? Let me tell you,

I have a really... I have a delightful cab story that happened. Please. In a taxi. Okay, this is just one of those stories that me tell you, I have a delightful cab story that happened. Please. In a taxi. Okay, this is just one of those stories that you're like, I love this for happening. Okay, getting into a cab, and I just had a fresh, a brand new coffee that I was right. You know when you have those moments where you're like, oh, I fucking outdid myself on this coffee.

It is perfection. And I'm very excited about drinking. I'm like, I'm going to drink you. I'm so excited, right? And the coffee's like, thanks. And I'm so excited. And then I flag a cab. I've barely taken a sip of the coffee. I get into the cab

and they don't have, sometimes they have cup holders in the back, which is delightful. So you put that in, you put your seatbelt on. No, this one didn't. Fine. So I'm about to put my seatbelt on and I realize I can't do this with one hand. I need both. All right? So then I go and say to the guy, I'm like, at the next stop sign, could you give me a second

so I can put my seatbelt on? He's like, of course. We get to the stop sign and then I go and put my the guy i'm like at the next stop sign could you give me a second so i can put my seatbelt on he's like of course we get to the stop sign and then i go and put my coffee in that you know that little mound of thing between the passenger seat and the driver seat so i go and i sit it there like just tentatively because we're stopped he you know whatever he sees that it's happening i put my seatbelt on and as i'm holding that i go oh could you just and he reads me he sees. Goes and takes my coffee from me. And I think right on, this guy is totally helping me out. But he actually, instead of just holding my coffee, he took a sip. He took a...

Oh, man. Took a sip of my coffee. It was, I have to say, probably one of my favorite moments I've ever had in my life. It was, it was actually, it was like, we made eye contact in the mirror. Like, there was that moment

of like, he realized, oh, this is wrong. And Jeremy, and I looked at him like, what's happening? And then he looked at me as he was pulling down and he was like,

I was sure you offered me a sip. And I was like, no, no, I really, and then, exactly. And I just, I just, we just, oh, yeah. Would you mind testing this out? Exactly. Would you be my food taster? no I really and then exactly and I just we just oh yeah

would you mind testing this out exactly would you be my food taster but it was just that moment and then we just

drove in silence yeah and I just held the coffee away from me I didn't even drink it really

I didn't oh that's unfortunate not in front of him because I wanted to spin it around and stuff and I thought that's too rude

so I just what was too rude? I know. He drank my coffee. So there you go. Yeah. I was in a cab ride the other night. And I was telling Dave, I've heard Christian rock before.

That sounds like Creed or whatever. I know that kind. But I don't know. I'd never heard Christian just, like, regular music. And this cabbie had it, like, turned all the way up and no seatbelt on, right? Oh. Jesus is going to take care of this one. He takes the wheel, by the way, if you don't know.

He does. If something happens. When I put my seatbelt on, he gave me a little, like. Hasn't this taught you anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, you trust science? Whatever. The science of...

Seatbelts? Et cetera. Oh, God. And how'd you do? Did you make it? I did make it, but... Salvation? Yeah, no, yeah, I also found Jesus.

Guys, if you haven't found him, it's like, where's Waldo? You find him? Yeah, so great. Your foot's great. You shared a coffee with a cabbie. I wanted to say, I went to Just for Laughs this year. I was in Montreal.

Super fun festival this year. Did you do a gag? No, but you know what I always worry about those gags? You know the Just for Laughs gags when you watch and it's all the French people wearing silly hats and things that they do. They do that. And then I would see those gags.

If that ever happened to me, they would not be able to use it because I would lose my mind. Have you ever seen someone sprays you in the back with water and they pretend they sneezed on you? I'd lose my mind. They wouldn't be like, ha ha ha, Chucky, it's for the TV.

I would kill you dead. How do you know that cab driver wasn't just for last night? Oh my God, what is this? Hold my coffee, globe. Wow. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Wow.

Right? Awesome, awesome. But I wanted to say, I wanted to say because of this podcast, I will tell you this right now, I'm, you know, because of you guys, I met Paul F. Tompkins. Now, like, to say because of this podcast, I will tell you this right now. I'm, you know, because of you guys, I met Paul F. Tompkins now, like we're sort of, we're sort of buddies. I know. It's awesome because the first time, no, the second time I did it without Darcy,

sans Darcy Michael, um, he, um, tweeted, he direct messaged me, twittered me, but directly, right. And then I'm such a loser that he goes and says he's like oh my god I loved you on Spy so funny and I and I because I'm a geek I go Paul Tompkins

there's no way it's me and I write him back and I go I'm sorry you must have the wrong person I literally did that because there's no way

I was like let's get him and then he was like stop podcasting yourself and I was like oh hello yes that was me so ginger

but then yeah then I got to do uh really great shows of his this year so he did little fancy shows called Paul F. Tompkins and the hilarious Trinity plus one and I got to do the shows this year that's fantastic very much oh get out we do what we can right people together there you go oh lordy well that's good story the feel-good story to cap off the horribleness that was. Oh, god. Dave, ought we move on to some overheards? Let's ought.

Oh, yeah. Let's hear it. Overheard. Still good after all these years. Still good, huh? Yeah, still fresh. Overheards-wise, we always like to start with the guest. And for anybody that is listening to the podcast for the first time ever,

overheards, things that you might overhear on the street. Wait, before we do overheards. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, shit. It's time for my favorite segment on the show, a segment called Celebrity Birthdays. Celebrity Birthdays, this is a segment where it's very important to know the days that famous people were born. Absolutely.

They've done so much for you. Yeah. And you for them. They've done so much for you. Yeah. And you for them. And it's the least you can do just to know that, know when Topher Grace was born. Oh, shit.

How do we not know? And we've been doing this lately. It's my favorite version of Celebrity Birthdays. It's called Celebrity Blurt Days. Yes. Now this is, thank you, both of you. Yeah. It's catching on like wildfire.

This is a version of Celebrity Birthdays where I will tell you the people, the famous, like, what's the word? Celebrities? That are born today, August 24th, and you will blurt out the first word that comes to your mind. Excellent. All right. Dave, shut up. Okay. I have something. I want to your mind. Excellent. All right. Dave, shut up. Okay. I have something. I want to do my favorite segment.

It's a segment that I even dressed up for this evening. It's called Hulk Hogan News. Hulk Hogan News? It's a Hulk Hogan News. Now, I... What are you wearing? I am wearing... What are you wearing? I am wearing... Who are you wearing?

I am wearing a yellow shirt that says Podcastomania on it. And I bought this shirt. I made this shirt with my own hands. And I've never ripped a shirt on stage before. Oh, my God. This is exciting. It's going to be good. But I thought maybe tonight if I...

I don't know if the gentleman that's working our sound this evening has any kind of shirt-ripping appropriate... Good? Yeah, go ahead. Crank that up, and we'll see how well this goes. I don't know that I can do it, that felt good. I can see why Hulk Hogan does that all the time. That feels great.

For the home listener, Graham ripped off his shirt. He's got a shirt underneath. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't want to. Come on. Look at how pale that skin is. Oh, my God. And then he threw it out into the crowd.

A gentleman in the second row ducked. Just barely missed it so that went to the third row you're in the splash zone it would have been better if it was like bridesmaids at a regular bouquet that would have been great yeah you're the next to be body slammed so hulk hogan news this week Hulk Hogan has grown back his black stubble he is getting back into the wrestling game post surgery

yes he made an appearance on Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling this past week and so we're all very excited. We wish him the best. And also his daughter Brooke posed naked for PETA.

And I admitted to Dave that I found her kind of attractive. There you go. So that's your Hulk Hogan list. Now, when you say she posed naked for PETA, you mean the organization? Someone didn't offer her some PETA? No, yeah, she did. No. I misspoke. She's the new spokesperson naked for PETA, you mean the organization? Someone didn't offer some PETA? No, yeah, she did. No. I misspoke.

She's the new spokesperson for the PETA pit. She gets paid in PETAs. Yeah. Well, this has been Hulk Hogan News. Hulk Hogan News. Yay. Now back to very important business. Absolutely.

Celebrity Blurt Days. These are celebrities celebrating their birthday today, August 24th. When I say the celebrity, blurt out the first word that comes to your mind. Everybody in the crowd. Everybody? All of us? Absolutely. Why not?

Come on. Everybody. Happy birthday to Harry Potter star Rupert Grint. Redhead. Ginger. Smurfs. Did somebody say Smurfs Grint. Redhead. Ginger. Smurfs. Did somebody say Smurfs? That's not right.

Yeah. There are no wrong answers. Except Smurfs is the wrong answer. It's more wrong than most. He's 24 today. Oh, it's a champagne birthday. What does that mean? When you turn the age of the day of the month.

So he's 24 on August 24th. So then you get champagne? Yeah. Good rule. Good rule. That's a great rule. Dave brings you champagne.

Yeah. Happy birthday to One Tree Hill star Chad Michael Murray. Don't know him! That was more than one word. I was just laughing because as soon as you said

One Tree Hill I was like laughing because as soon as you said One Tree Hill, I was like, what the fuck is that? What is One Tree Hill? Happy 31st birthday, Chad Michael Murray. Absolutely. Happy 47th birthday to celebrity deaf Marlee Matlin.

I thought... I blurted something, but... Yeah, I thought you said celebrity death. Like that she was a dead... No, she's a celebrity deaf. Yeah, absolutely. Death. Like deaf comedy jazz.

All right. Happy birthday to your hero's former boss, Vince McMahon. Oh, we wish him the best. How old is he? He's 75. Good blurts. I forgot. Vince McMahon is 67 today.

Vince McMahon is Hulk Hogan's dad And happy 54th birthday To this week's celebrity trivia Question, answer This Gentleman nearly didn't graduate The police academy Because he couldn't stop the music Steve Guttenberg.

Am I right? Shut up. How old is he? Steve Guttenberg is 27. He's 54. In dog years. For realsies. For realsies.

Now it's time for points. We like to start with the guest Debra if you would lead the charge okay I was saying that I didn't have a really good like an eavesdrop one

but I did have a sort of an accidental eavesdrop where I heard one of my neighbors screaming at his like girlfriend he and his girlfriend

oh my god and he actually used the expression what do you want blood right so now I'm terrified of him now I'm terrified of him What do you want? Blood? Right? So now I'm terrified of him.

Now I'm terrified of him. Like maybe he wants blood. I don't know what it is. I bet the sex is amazing. What if she does want blood? Right? I didn't wait to hear the end of the conversation. I ran from that door real fast.

Yeah, what if the other person was anemic? And they're like, well, what do you want, my blood? I mean, now that you say it like that. That's what I've been trying to tell you for half an hour. I mean, seriously. Maybe that's what the argument was about. Or a vampire. Oh, sure.

Oh, absolutely. Of course. You knew I wanted blood when you married me. Yeah. It was in my vows. Blah. That's in my vows. Blah. That's part of his accent. He'll say blah after it.

Were we ever so young, Debra? Blah. Blah. Dave, do you have an overheard? My overheard is, it's an overseen. It's graffiti. Now, when I saw this, this was like many lines of graffiti written outside of Skytrain Station in Vancouver.

Skytrain is like a metro. But in the sky. Subway, is that what you're calling it? See if you can change the way you perceive the world, man. A train in the sky, get it? It's like a subway or a Quizno. And when I read it, I imagined that the person who wrote it had a beat poet voice, just the shittiest. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, man.

Like that? Yeah, I gotcha. So this is many lines scrawled on the side of the stairs outside a SkyTrain station. Mental fog turned into smoke. Isn't that ironic? Absolutely snap that up.

Blind man bluff into puffs. Oh, yeah. We made smog ass bored. That's it. That's very Vancouver. It's a high key. Isn't it very Vancouver? That's very hipster.

That seems like one of those magnets you put on a fridge and you just put it on. Yeah. Smog ass. You get it? Because of the farts? Oh, yeah. Oh, great. Hi.

Hello. What's your overheard? My overheard comes courtesy of – I was at the grocery store and there was a lady in front of me. I don't know why this grocery store that I go to has such a selection of jamming products like jars and pectin. Pectin. All the way. Pectin. and uh so there was a lady in front of me that was asking about like you know i want to make my own jam and she was asking like i'm not sure if it's this packet or that packet and she just

happened to get the cashier who was like oh thank god thank god this is that i've been waiting for this my whole life she's like well you know what type of jam? Like she, because she, obviously, was big into jams. So she's like, had to kind of hold herself back. Like, okay, okay.

What type of jam are we talking about? And the lady's like, I don't know. Blue bear. And the lady was kind of, you could tell tell she was like amateur jam

and then jam-ature? yeah we did it goodnight everybody makes up for celebrity death. Yeah, exactly. Stone Cold Jam-ature, and she's asking this lady. And then this lady, the lady at the checkout just starts this whole soliloquy about jamming

and how she started jamming a long time ago and she makes marmalade, I make my own marmalade and she like looked her dead in the eyes and said I am telling you right now when you start doing your own jams you will never, ever buy another jam at the store. The lady was just, I don't even think the lady bought

the stuff, I think she was just like No thanks. The lady was just, I don't even think the lady bought the stuff. I think she was just like. No thanks. I don't want to do this black magic. Is there any product that, like, you could make yourself that you would, could do better than the professionals? Would you like Hulk Hogan shirts? Oh, sure. Yeah. But if it was, like Hulk Hogan shirts? Sure. Yeah.

But if it was like mayonnaise or toothpaste, like... What if you start making your own toothpaste? Like, is it like when somebody offers you a homebrew? They're like, hey, I got it. Bring your toothbrush. I've been working on my own paste. Oh! Ew! Ew!

But, like, they haven't really been working on their own paste They went to a you know paste it yourself place And they just told the guy I guess I kind of like raspberry I like it hoppy I like it fluoridey I guess I prefer lagers to ales Pickles

Pickles man When people can make pickles Is that good? Like you appreciate it oh yeah are you kidding I know this is old of me but seriously honest to god

no it's my mom somebody in the front row literally did this like right am I right they are so good right

we'll talk after the show do you make your own pickles in the front row my best friend please my best friend Robindale her mother

used to like make the best pickles. And she phoned me and she was like, I'm done making pickles. I got six jars left. Do you want them? I was like, I want those pickles! I was like, seriously? I took a bus to Barry to get the pickles.

And I came because that's how good they were. For the home listener, Barry's a guy who knows a lot about pickles. I drove him there on a sled. Now, do you... I know that they're cucumbers. Yeah. Do they shrink in the water? No, you get small cucumbers.

Well, they don't put them in water. That would just be soggy cucumbers. They've got like the little dill cucumbers that are just little cuties. Oh, okay. So they're tiny already. Yeah. And then they grind. They probably fill them with a lot of hormones to make them that small. So, you know,ies. Oh, okay. So they're tiny already. Yeah. And then they grind. They probably fill them

with a lot of hormones to make them that small. So, you know, whatever. Yeah, right. That's good. Monsanto! Yeah! Now, as part of Overheards,

whenever we get to do a live show, we like to turn it over to the audience. If anybody here would like to come up towards the stage and share their own overheards, this is the opportunity. This is your chance. Because if you don't do it now, honestly,

you will regret it for the rest of your life. Come on, here we go. Hello. Hello. Come up here. Absolutely. What is your name? Nancy.

Nancy, go ahead with your overheard. Okay. My overheard is courtesy of two sales girls from the Bay here in Toronto, the shopping mall. And so they were complaining about the sound system, like the music that was playing on the overhead sound system. So the first girl says, not this song again. I can't take it anymore. It's the worst. To which her co-worker replies, I know. It's so depressing.

And the song that was playing was Imagine by John Lennon. Oh! Thank you very much! Nice dancing. Oh my goodness. Yeah, because if you imagined living with no possessions, the Bay would be out of business, right? That's why.

That's why. Imagine all the people. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Remember Boxing Day? Imagine. Anybody else?

We're very friendly. Yay, come on. Yeah. Excellent. Wonderful. This guy. What is your name, sir? Matt.

Matt, go ahead with your overheard. It's probably technically more of a heard because it was said directly to me. I was getting a refreshing iced beverage at a McDonald's a few months ago, and the guy behind the counter, probably about 16, 17, noticed I was wearing a Beatles T-shirt at the time, and he says, oh, I love the Beatles. I like their song, Bad Moon Rising.

Oh! So before I have a chance to sort of correct him, he realized, oh, wait, that's CCR. So he struggles for about two seconds to try and come up with a Beatles song. And he's like, well, Forever by John Stamos is a good song. So we got to Jesse and the Rippers somehow. Full house.

I don't know how that happened. It worked for him and it worked for me. Outstanding. Outstanding. I also like how he started out By saying I was having a nice refreshing beverage At the McDonald's Is that not the laziest promotion of any restaurant?

The dollar pop for the summer? Only the dollar all summer Blech, weak McDonald's All the ice you can chew I'm glad you guys got the memo Only Beatle related That's good though The John Stamos Forever song

He sang that to Was that One of the twins I'm guessing No no no His twins I never watched that show His character's twins with Becky If every word I say

Could make you laugh I'd talk forever Yeah, we all know the song. And the Beach Boys did backup vocals for them? They did not, did they? Well, not all of them. No one whose name ended with Wilson. Oh, Lord.

Do we have another overheard? Come on. Anybody? Oh, yeah. Here we have another overheard? Come on. Anybody? Oh, yeah. Here we go. This is two people. Okay. Okay.

One, then the other? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my God. It's exciting. They're fighting to get up here. It's wonderful. Okay. I just didn't know if they were together.

They were going to tell it in tandem. Yeah. One word at a time. Act out. Once. Name? Jenny. Hi, Jenny.

What's your overheard? Okay So to follow up from that I was also in the line At a McDonald's At Spadina and Queen There was two people Right in front of me

Two guys They were tall Talking about music So I figured They worked at Steve's Music Because they were talking about Like they were in the scene Whatever

They went on And the one guy was like Man Do you see our new guitars? Fucking wicked eh and uh the one guy was like man do you see our new guitars fucking wicked hey and the other guy was like yeah did you see that little kid ram on them he was like slamming those axes and he's like yeah fucking bernie mack to the core and the other guy was like b Bernie Mac? Oh, BB King. BB King.

It's a musical theme. I like the musical theme. Absolutely. Oh, I love Bernie Mac. Yeah, a lot of people didn't know Bernie Mac could tread. How much time do we have?

We've got, oh, let's say five. Five? Absolutely. We've got a lady. Come on up five. Five? Absolutely. We've got a lady. Come on up here. What is your name, miss? I'm Julie from Ottawa.

Hi, Julie from Ottawa. Come on over closer. What is your overheard? My overheard is I was hanging out at the beach, and it was quiet, nothing going on, just listening to the birds. And all of a sudden, in the background, I hear some guy scream, Fuck you, bird! And I turn around, and it's just a dude alone wearing all of his clothes over

in the park, and he's trying to kick a seagull that just keeps flying around him. And that was it. That's all it needed to be. Oh, thank you very much. Oh, man. Seagull was kind of asking for it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had a good dirt bag sort of overseen. Last night on my way to the airport, there was a guy, I told you this, waiting at the SkyTrain station. It's like I live at the SkyTrain station. And I was the only one there, and this one who got off the train he was he was sketchy from the get go and someone had left a pair of glasses on a seat

in the station and this guy just comes up to it picks up this pair of glasses puts it on and starts looking around and it does like

I guess it didn't work because he he took off his glasses not not his glasses, but finders keepers. And held them in his hand for a couple of seconds and I guess sort of thought, what should I do next? Throws them in the garbage. Fuck you, glasses. If I can't have them, nobody can. Yeah. Oh, glasses. If I can't have them, nobody can.

Oh, Lord. Do we have another overheard to wrap this up? Anybody? Yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, all right. Yeah. All right. This is the guy.

This is it. This is it. This is going to be the capper. What is your name, sir? No pressure. My name is Rich. Hi, Rich. Oh, hi, Rich. I didn't see you. I is Rich. Hi, Rich. Oh, hi, Rich.

I didn't see you. I know Rich. Hey, Rich. We go way back. Oh, you guys. What's your overheard? So anyway, I was in Israel recently, and when I first went out... Shalom. Yes.

And actually, when I first came out for the first few days, I was just kind of hanging out by myself. So I went out for dinner, had dinner by myself, and right next to me was a couple having dinner together. And I basically ended up just eavesdropping the entire evening. My evening was basically spent with these people, even though they didn't realize it. And at one point, so this guy, you can tell he's really trying to impress this girl, and he goes, he's talking about he was in Vegas, and he had this really good steak, and he goes, this was the second best steak I've ever had. And it was really funny because the girl was like, oh, yeah, that's really interesting,

and then she kind of changed the topic. And you could tell that he really wanted her to ask him what was the best one, you know what I mean? And it was so funny because she had no interest. And I was just like, okay, he's going to bring it up. He's going to, like, I'm just going to wait for it. And it was, like, literally 20 minutes later. And he was like, so do you want to know what the good thing is? I was like, there it is.

There it is. Anyway, that's it. Fantastic. So great. Yeah, wait. Where was the best steak? It was someplace he went to in Chicago. Oh, yeah.

Deep dish. Absolutely. Faves where there's steaks.. Oh, yeah. Deep dish. Absolutely. Faves where there's steaks. Last over the night. Thank you very much. Oh, man. That's the second best steak I've ever had. Yeah.

That was my... That's on my plenty of fish profile really want to take that steak you're the second most beautiful woman I've ever dated there was this one at the steakhouse

in Chicago I like how you're bringing eavesdropping back though I love that you're bringing single hand well double hand

I'll leave the two of you together bringing eavesdropping back it never it's people are forcing it upon like because people talk

on their cell phone and talk in close quarters as if there's no repercussions there's a repercussion oh yes yes

absolutely just like Just for Life's Gags is bringing back repercussions for people helping out other people. Please, sir, can you watch my cart for a minute?

Stab. Yeah. Debra. Yes. Fantastic. You're fantastic. We love you. Thank you so much for having me. I. You're fantastic. We love you. Thank you so much for having me.

I hope you guys win. I voted for you. Really? I shouldn't have said that, but I voted for you. Where can, most of these people I would say are from Toronto, the Toronto area. Where can they go to see you perform your stand-up, which is amazing? I do the Rivoli on Monday nights, almost every Monday. Okay.

And then I do Absolute Comedy on Sunday nights almost every Monday and then I do Absolute Comedy on Sunday nights almost every Sunday there you go so yeah just for new material and doing stuff like that yeah

and if you've never seen to ever do stand up it's such it's a wild treat I'm doing the Just for Laughs tour this year too are you really yeah so that's across Canada

are you going to come to Vancouver yes I am we can do Vancouver oh I guess we might have to have you on the podcast yeah that'll be awesome delightful

good to well thank you so much thank you pleasure's all mine guys thank you so much before we say goodbye before we say goodbye we want to thank

the comedy bar we want to thank the Canadian Comedy Awards we want to thank our sound guy Mark Andrada Mark Andrada coming up with

I Am A Real American just out of thin air I think it was Sharp Dressed Man was it? with I Am A Real American just out of thin air. I think it was Sharp Dressed Man. Was it? I thought it was A Real American. Either way. We do disagree. It was Imagine.

Exactly. My CCR. Thank you all so much for coming out. It's a real treat for us to be able to come out here. And you guys sold the place out. You make us look like big shots, so thank you very much. You guys were amazing. Thank you so much for coming to hang out.

We'll be hanging out in the lobby for a while. Come by and say hello. Have a good night, everybody. Thank you, everybody. So depressing.