Stop Podcasting Yourself - Bonus Episode - LIVE with Dan Mangan, Alicia Tobin, and Kevin Lee

Episode Date: September 26, 2012

Live from the Electric Owl in Vancouver as a part of the 2012 Olio Festival, we are joined by Dan Mangan, Alicia Tobin, and Kevin Lee.

You know and love them. Please welcome to the stage Graham Clark, Dave Shumka, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Wow! We did it! Woo! Woo!

See? I didn't think he was going to do the smoke, but then he did it. He really did. What did he call us? Stop hanking your prank. Hi, everybody. How are you? Welcome to a very special live podcast here as part of the Oleo Festival at the Electric Owl. Woo!

Woo! Woo! Ga-hoo! Electricity. Yeah. Classic. Do you think that it's just because they were going to name it Electric Eel, but then somebody, like, just just it was like a game of telephone what are you asking me i don't know um welcome everybody yeah welcome welcome thank you for coming we can

so we can see the audience and no no no i want it to be like very mysterious yeah i want it to be like a haunted house atmosphere the whole night it smells very much like did you ever have to do the Ronald McDonald fire safety house yeah of course that was my whole that was my whole high school thing

and you would have to get down on the ground and crawl do like an army shuffle and then Grimace would be like And you would have to get down on the ground and crawl, do like an army shuffle. Do the army shuffle? Yeah, and then Grimace would be like... There's a fire! I don't remember any other characters. Bertie? Was that one?

Yeah, Bertie. She was a lot of fun. Everyone's favorite character. What was her thing? She ate breakfast? I used to read the McDonald's comics. I loved Bertie's Adventures. It was always between Bertie and Hamburglar. They were always trying to gain Ronald's

affection. He was their Archie. Weren't there flowers that were hamburgers that would then also sing? It's a real mixed message for kids. What's the... What is the other message other than McDonald's is great? I don't know.

Something about the environment, I guess. It's like, respect the environment. Don't make us chop down all the trees because there may be some singing hamburger trees. You're going to want that. Yeah, and then what? Birdie. Did Birdie have a pilot's hat?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she was flightless? She was like the Amelia Earhart of corporate logos. Yeah, yeah. She went missing. Everybody thinks Mayor McCheese was involved. And she looked a little like Hillary Swank. Let me get closer.

I'm sitting at a table, but I'm not sitting at a table. Yeah. Also, I mean, it's a lot of water. There's a lot of stuff. You know, this is a real... I was going to say Regis and Kelly, but it's not. It's Kelly and Michael Strahan. Yep. Yep.

The Kelly and Michael Strahan report. Have you guys been watching the new Kelly with Michael Strahan show every morning at 9? Yeah, absolutely. Your unemployed-os do. But everybody else is all too good. Oh, what? do. But everybody else is all too good. I guess what I want to ask you is for the home listener,

Graham came out dressed in stand-up for the people. Graham is wearing a jean pant, a jean vest, a sleeveless tee, and a...an vest, a sleeveless tee. It didn't come sleeveless. I had to make it so. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And how many gold chains are you wearing? At least six. And it's Halloween time, so they're very easy to find at every retailer. I got a number one to signify that we got the Georgia Straight thing. Treat yourself. Celebrate. And I got

this Dracula pendant to signify that I'm not afraid anymore. Fool me once. Yeah. Shame on Drac You Yep, absolutely I spent that summer in Transylvania

It was the worst So yeah I'm also wearing this costume As Like to show some respect because LMFAO broke up. R.I.P. We'll see you guys in heaven.

It was a death pact. They're related. They're an uncle and a nephew. They're an uncle and a nephew and then in the report that I read today, the report, guys, I woke up early. Check the wires.

I quickly watched Kelly and Michael Strahan, and it was right down to business. Your Google alert for LMFAO went off. Usually it's just people tweeting about how funny Michael and Kelly are. Yeah, yeah, exactly. LMFAO, the older guy, he's the uncle guy's 37, and he's the guy with the big poofy hairdo.

And I can't remember, there's Sky Blue and Red Foo are their names, legally. And the older guy, he's going to pursue his passion for coaching sports. For real. He coaches a gymnastic team and he's also going to go back to his first love of tennis.

And so he's just... Do those guys know that they stumbled on a gold mine just by accidentally being the biggest assholes ever? Yeah. Do they know that that's not going to happen again when they're like, oh, I'm 45. Let's get back into the pop music scene.

Do you think maybe they broke up six months ago, but their PR people were too embarrassed to say, I can't say you're going to coach tennis. Yeah. You just put out your first album. This is very embarrassing. I can't wait to hear the B-sides.

Oh, imagine. Party in the what? Party in the where? What time is the party? A 2 p.m. party? They cut it out because the world wasn't ready for it. But now, how long do you think you could stay in a band with your uncle

which uncle pick one because I have one uncle that I feel he's very entertaining he's very into party rocking yeah exactly he's sexy and he knows it so with him I feel like we...

Well, it depends on how much time we have to spend in Miami. Because I don't like the heat, but he might. He might like the whole... Anyways. And then I have an uncle that's a homeless guy. And so he... Is that where you get it from? Yeah.

Absolutely. But it would be all jug music. Washboard. Yeah, yeah. Zydeco. Zydeco? What is a Zydeco?

Zydeco is like New Orleans homeless music. As featured on Treme. Yeah. Now, anyways, LMFAO. Like the reunion tour six months from now. When they realize there's no money in coaching a gymnastics team and being the nephew of a guy who coaches a gymnastics team.

They didn't break up. They said they went on a hiatus. And when LMFAO goes, never mind. Nope, nope, nope. Come on. All right. Here we go. Restart.

Go. When LMFAO goes on a hiatus, do they say BRB? There we go. Worth it. Worth it. Worth it. Worth it. Don't pretend.

There's a guy way in the back wearing a white baseball cap and I think he maybe likes LMFAO because he has not cracked a smile no

like he is not LMFAO yeah yeah exactly BRB after I fucked these guys up

I mean I can't figure F-T-L-A-F-A-O is there a like a like a um uh BRB after I fucked these guys up. I mean, I can't figure out if F, T... Is there like a... like a... some kind of internet shorthand for not laughing at all? Well, yeah. N-L-A-A?

Yeah. Or... No, later, alcoholics and ominous. Did I say... Abominous? Well, it's all... Alcoholics abominable.

That's where you sit around and complain about the worst alcoholics that you know. The Yeti comes by. They're making a movie out of that. A kokanee commercial. No, they're not. Yeah, they are. Right? Television?

A Canadian movie? Yeah. No. Yeah, of courseanee commercial. No, they're not. Yeah, they are, right? Television? A Canadian movie? Yeah. No, well, yeah, of course. No American. No American company wants to throw away money that badly that they would finance a purely Canadian film. They would finance... A distributor for that movie

that has made the whole Middle East explode with riots got a distributor faster than any Canadian film. Right? If somebody was like, no, it's a Sarah Pauly, it's very emotional. Yeah, yeah. You're like, I want that inflammatory one that looks like it was shot on a green screen. So the plot of the Kokanee commercials, as I recall... Was drink Kokanee.

There is a Yeti, or a Sasquatch, or an abominable snowman, depending where you're from. A Bigfoot. And he wants the Kokanee. He loves it! This seems like it would be an animated ad where you're getting lucky charms. Oh, no. But it's not. No, it's a real-life person. It's more like a whodunit.

Like, who drank the kokanee? Was it the Sasquatch that loves kokanee? It was. And then... Yeah. Mystery solved. But he's, like, a cool Sasquatch, and he, like, snowboards,

and there's bikini women who are super into him. Yeah, yeah. Really weird bikini women. Yeah. Who don't feel the cold of the snow. But there's nothing... It's not weirder than any other Canadian film. There's a lady that's in love with a Sasquatch.

I don't know. I've never seen a Canadian film. Oh, really? Oh, I guess I've seen the peanut butter solution. Yeah. What? Yeah, there we go. What is that? That's the kid goes bald and then has to put a bunch of crap in a blender and put it on his head.

That's like real modern baldness. That's like, it's like a prophecy that you have to put weird shit on your head to not go bald. Anyway, or hat. That's not as weird shit on your head to not go bald. Anyway, or a hat. That's not as weird as the shit as the peanut butter resolution. But yeah, that is a weird Canadian movie. Yeah. Well, I didn't... I had no idea.

You've not seen it? Nope. You can borrow it. Yeah. Excellent. So are we going to get to know us? We're going to bring out somebody? Are we going to get to know us now and then bring out somebody?

How do we want to do this? Well, let's bring out somebody? Are we going to get to know us now and then bring out somebody? How do we want to do this? Well, let's bring out somebody. Oh, okay. We'll bring out somebody and then we'll get to know all of us as a group. How does that sound? You guys are great. Do we want to bring out the person or play the song

first? Oh, shit. Should I sit over in this chair with this microphone that just happens to be sitting here? It's a real fun... Alright, let's welcome our guest first. Wait. Alright, when you're ready.

What are you doing there for you? I thought you were gonna... I'm gonna do... I'm really going to Steven Tyler this. All right. All right. Do you want to play the song first? No, we're going to bring the guest on first. Okay, what if I get one of these windmills going?

There we go. There we go. Please welcome to the stage our first guest of the evening, Mr. Dan Megan! Dan! Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Thank you. Hello. Can you pass me one of the root foods? Hello. Hello, Dan Mangan.

Thank you for being a guest on the show. Yeah. I think now is where I go like, how are you? As if we didn't see each other like five minutes ago. Yeah, but we did. And how are you still? Oh, so good. It's so good to have you here.

Although at some point between the beginning of the windmill and the end of the windmill I realized that I have to pee. Oh, really? It's okay though. We got a whole thing about Kelly and Michael Strahan that we can kill some time with. You guys have at least 20 minutes more material on that one. Yeah, it was really good. Shall we get to know us?

Here we go. This couldn't have worked out better. Or shall we? Oh, yeah. Sound cue't have worked out better. Or shall we? Oh, yeah. Sound cue. Get to know us. Oh. Get to know us.

There it is. We did it. We're doing it. Hello, Dan. You feel like you're a world away. Yeah. But it's fine. I was relegated to this table.

This is the guest table. It's kind of like the kid table. You get four waters. It's got more happy water. Guys, let's talk a second about happy water. It's naturally alkaline. Usually you have to put a battery in a water bottle and shake it up. But this comes pre-shook. Now, Dan Mangan.

Singer. Songwriter. Juno Award winner. Yeah. Judo Award winner. Judo Award winner. Black belt. Karate. Yep. Mostly known for karate. Yeah, yeah. First famous in the world of karate. Then shattered that world

by becoming a musical singing sensation. Then went back to karate. Yeah, absolutely. Went back to your first love of karate. You should do it on stage where you put out some guitars and smash them with your hands. With your chops.

Lay out all of the pedals and everything and then go do a kata dance. So it seems like you've actually done karate because you knew a term. I think I just saw a Canadian documentary about karate. Chopping in the North. I saw that. Welcome.

And how are things? Dave and I were talking today. You just recently, uh, got married. I did. Hey! That institution is still happening, eh? Yeah, yeah. Eh?

Still strong? It's like the second that people stopped asking us if it was going to happen is when we actually wanted to do it. How long did you, uh, date this young lady? Uh, almost seven years. And then you were like, time to do it. How long did you date this young lady? Almost seven years. And then you were like, time to lock it down. Many moons, yeah.

How did you propose? Sounds like it's going to be romantic. I don't know how to put this lightly. On a mountain in Swaziland. What? Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's a hard, you set yourself a real high bar.

Yeah. Now I have to live up to it every day. Yeah. And how's that go? Pretty good. How did you pick a mountain in Swaziland? Well Is there like an online service for that? Mail order mountain

Airbnb It was Indiegogo campaign To find out A crowdsourced mountain Oh that's fun That would be fun to do a crowdsourced Like I'm broke but I want to get engaged to this girl. Like, give me some money.

Get a ring and stuff. My love is cheap and hollow, but please help me buy a very expensive ring. Yeah, yeah. And I'll make a documentary about it. You can watch it on nothing. Starring a yeti and seven big feet. This is something you conceived in your brain, right? I'm going to go up to the top of a mountain.

I'm going to ask the lady that I love. I have to admit that I had heard of it before I thought about proposing. I'd heard that other people had done that. What, going up to a mountain and proposing? No, proposing in general. Oh, sure, absolutely. That's tales all the time. When you got engaged, did you sing that Savage Garden song where he's like,

I want to stand with you on a mountain? Actually, the song I sang right as it was happening was the Chicka Cherry Cola one. Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah, absolutely. Anytime I need to see your face, I just close my eyes. Those are both good cuts. I don't even try to...

I didn't know there was a table service over there. You know, this isn't actually a table. Thank you. What is this? I'm not going to be billed for this, am I? No. I don't even own sleeves. I was a little bit worried coming up here with them I thought maybe I was at risk of losing them

With sleeves? Have you ever performed? I pulled them up as high as I can go Out of respect They won't go up any higher than that I'm very worried about my arms They don't get out Ever

You know what I mean? This is their first sojourn out in public about my arms. They don't get out ever. You know what I mean? This is their first sojourn out in public. You bring Never Nude to a whole new level. Yeah, absolutely. And you waited for the last day of summer. Yeah. Alright. See you later, stinker of summer. What is this we were sent?

Oh, that's like a... Some kind of... You know what that is? Some sort of alcohol. You know, I got a real refined palate when it comes to that. That's not just a watered-down Coca-Cola. Yeah. The drinking has slowed down the conversation. Oh, sorry.

It absolutely has. You were singing Savage Garden. Yeah. So you tour constantly. You're one of the biggest acts in Canada, right? Come on. Top two. No, no, no.

Top two. Absolutely. We do tour a lot. And how is it? Are you guys in a van? Are you on planes? What are you doing? Funny you should ask.

I just bought a new trailer today. Ownership! It is a bigger trailer with a ramp and a side door. Oh, good. So you can fit more shit inside. Yeah. Do you have something on the outside of it? Do you paint?

Yeah, well, you know, we thought about that and then we decided that would basically be the lamest thing ever. Yeah. Touche. Probably why I'm not on tour. Actually, I know of a band that did that.

They like had this whole elaborate like band thing on the side of the trailer and I bet that that's like 35% of the reason why they got all of their gear stolen. Yeah.

Oh, that is really... It's like advertising. It's like, there are expensive instruments inside of this trailer. Also, maybe a sword or two. It was Gwar. If Gwar had their trailer stolen, that would be the heart.

Right? If Gwar had to just go out and do an acoustic... Let's go out and do it like an acoustic. Just go out there with a bottle of ketchup. Gwar. Unarmed. Yeah. We lost all our blood and shoulder pads. What are we going to do with these 35 gallons of fake semen? We're going to sell it for what it's worth.

Let's start a guar cover band. Smar. Smaller guar. It makes sense. You got my drift. Smar. Same wavelength. And then when the concert's done, you want Samar.

Yeah. And that's when we dump the semen on their heads. Hope you brought your semen cap. What if they were like serial semen robbers? Did you just put serial and semen in the same? But what if they were like the wet bandits of semen? Isn't everybody technically... Look what you did, you little jerk-off.

Yeah. The cum burglar. Nobody caught my Home Alone reference there, no? What did you say? Well, in the thing, they go like, look what you did, you little jerk. Oh, right. So the wet bandits of semen would say,

look what you did, you little jerk-off. You filthy animal, right? Yeah, absolutely. Look. That was actually the funniest thing I've ever said. And we talked right over it. Before we go too far down this Semen river. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay. Old Semen river. Old semen river. I wanted to ask you about, you were in the news recently because you planted a bomb on a bus. I only scanned the news. No, there was a, your name popped up in a news story

because someone in Victoria left a suspicious looking package on the bus, which was like a beer box that had been wrapped up with electrical tape. And so they sent in the bomb squad. And what did they find inside? It was on a bus that was parked in front of Parliament Hill or whatever you call it. Parliament Mini Hill. Parliament Mound in Yeah. Parliament mound.

Parliament mar. Yeah. And there was a, yeah, exactly. It was like this raggedy beer case wrapped in duct tape. And I think it was like somebody's funny rapping job and they were sending a gift to their friend and inside it was a Dan Mangan t-shirt and some other crap and like a note saying

have fun at the music festival or whatever. And the funny thing is that uh we found the news what do you call it story yeah i mean look i don't know in your culture what they call it i call it a news album and so i tweeted it because I thought it was amusing and somebody got in touch with me and they're like hey man that was my t-shirt but I'm too afraid to go to the cops because I think I'm going to get in trouble

is there any way you can help me get it back what are you fucking kidding me regardless do you think it's just going to end up coming to me? Yeah. Oh yeah, the cops dropped it off this morning.

This guy narrowly avoided a charge of terrorism. And he's most concerned about his shirt. Oh, you know who was on the shirt? I'm going to write to that fucking guy. See if he can't send this whole disaster straight. What would he have done if it was a Bob Marley shirt? What if it was I'm with stupid? He's not even alive anymore.

Yeah, it's true. Yeah. One love. And so he really contacted you? And he said, can you help me out shirt wise dude i had one shirt and one of them has been exploded by the police yeah did the cops did they did they blow it up or did they just like no no no they i guess they like got a bomb score they got like a little robot to go like they spent like 17 million dollars yeah got a robot to go on the bus and examine it,

and it was like the Mars rover. And then it turned out it didn't have any explosives in it, so they opened it up, and that's when they realized that it was... That is... I mean, the fact that somebody is like, dude, sorry about connecting you

to a terrorist thing by accident. Do you have any extra shirts of your own face? Okay, so yeah, maybe that was it. Maybe he didn't think that I was going to get the shirt back. Maybe he just thought I would hook him up with another one. Oh yeah, no, I'm sure. Well, maybe in his head he was like, the cops are going to deliver that

shirt back to you, and then I'll just wait outside Dan Mankin's house with a bomb. It's like follow the Hansel and Gretel t-shirt trail, and you'll know where to go. Do you think maybe you're just too accessible to your fans? I questioned it Wow You know but then I think about

The rapping jobs I've done around Christmas And stuff have not been Like if they hadn't been delivered right to the person They would all look like terrorists Right? Yeah You know what I mean? You know how you mean? Yeah.

Because it was just like a piece. You know how you put wrapping paper on and then you try and tape it and it just rips the paper and so you just tape the piece of paper on one side of it? That looks like a crazy person. You don't know your own strength. Yeah, you're right.

Absolutely. When it comes to paper, rah! Yeah. I'm always angry. Rah! You're like the Hulk of gift wrapping. Yeah. Absolutely, I'm the paper. I'm always angry. You're like the Hulk of gift wrapping. Absolutely, I'm the Hulk of gifts.

A lot of things are mangled when I get them. Well, paper cover rocks. Oh, thanks, Hulk. Another rock. You wouldn't like me when I'm appreciative. You go to unwrap it. He's like, no, you scissor. Don't tear like Savage. Wow.

We have a lot of fun. We do. What else is awesome? Well, what else is awesome is what I was going. We do. What else is awesome? Well, what else is awesome is what I was going to ask you. What else is going on? You bought a trailer? You got married? Well, you can retire.

It's all downhill. I think that's it. It's like marriage, trailer. I think trailer equals dog and picket fence together. Yeah, right? Do you have a dog? No, man, I wish. Really?

What kind of dog? Some kind of typically, this is like something you could include in that book, stuff that white people like. Dogs? Any kind of dog that ends in doodle. Oh, yeah. Oh, my. Cheese doodle. No, well, I mean, you know, people don't like fur in their

apartments, so you got a dog that's hypoallergenic. Yeah. Everybody wins. So are you, is this a plan? Are you going to get a dog? Commit to it. We want a commitment from you tonight. We want you to get engaged to a dog.

I think I travel too much. I travel too much for, I would have like a lonely dog. Get a travel dog. Travel dog. Like a little dog that you can. Is that kind of like. On our last tour actually. That was a weird noise that came out of the audience.

It was a real. Okay. I don't mean to take our conversation continually down the gutter, but. Yeah, yeah. But let's do it. So every, you know, we travel constantly. And everywhere, the only common denominator between the entire world, between, like, all the places that we've toured, many, many countries, there's only one common denominator.

And that is that every rest stop washroom has a travel pussy. I don't know what any of the last words you said mean. I mean, I know those words individually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you put, you know, it's like a condom dispenser in public restrooms, right? Okay.

So I mean, I guess there's like all these lonely truckers going around and they stop at these rest stops so they buy this like $2 thing. It's called a travel pussy. And I don't... It should cost more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? I don't think it should be $ mean? It is undervalued. But so we'd seen it for like six years of on the road and we're all like oh, Dremel, that would be funny. But I don't have two bucks. And then our tour manager bought one on the last tour

just to figure out what it is and we couldn't even understand what you do with it. I mean, it seems simple when I think about what that would be. But the actual, you have to fill it up with water, but then I don't know. You do it in the bathroom of the truck stop? I don't know. Don't mind me.

What do you fill up with water? Describe it. Basically, it's like a plastic shopping bag that's shaped... I don't even know. So it was designed by somebody who's never seen a vagina. It's somebody who's like, this I think is a pretty close approximation. Like a plastic shopping bag with water in it. I'm just waiting to see that guy with the headset and the infomercials try to sell it.

The ShamWow dude or whatever. I didn't, you know, I've been in a lot of bathrooms. God knows. I've spent a lot of time in a lot of bathrooms. I've never seen a thing for a travel pussy. I mean, sure, a stay at home, a local version. Really? So that's a thing.

I thought it was always just the condoms and then rub-on tattoos, which were always like the opposite end of the spectrum. About to have sex, never have had sex ever. Right? Like it's two in the same box.

But it's a choice that you're faced with. But can you imagine somebody's two in the same box but it's a choice that you're faced with but can you imagine like somebody's walking in just as you're doing it and you were going to press the travel pussy button but instead you press like sailor moon tattoo you start applying it on your forehead they should just have a claw machine where you can win like a travel pussy

you know what that would go so wrong so fast in a truck stop bathroom because then the claw becomes the travel pussy. Yeah, exactly. Some guy would stick his thing in the slot and then just get the claw.

We accidentally said that into microphones. I think I ruined your show by bringing it up. I'm sorry. No, you know what? It's great. First of all, I learned something. Second of all, I'm going to do a documentary on it, sell it to the CBC.

The more you know. A Canadian documentary. TPC. Travel Pussy Canada. You're listening to Travel Pussy Canada. Today on Travel Pussy Canada, we take you to Lake Louise. Travel Pussy Canada.

We take you to Lake Louise. Now these travel pussies are glacier fed. Oh, Lordy. Well, now, we've got to know. Well, now, we've got to know. Well, before we move on, Dan, we advertised that this was just going to be Dan Mangan speaking,

not Dan Mangan doing any music. I'll be right back. In the meantime, guys, happy water. It's got life source in it. So sperm, I guess? Literally, the third ingredient is life source. Now, Dan, I have a guitar here. And I think if we get the audience behind us,

I could get you to tune my guitar. Yeah! Tune his guitar! Yeah! Yeah! June, he's guitar! Yeah! I am a professional. I fucked it up a bit for you. You know, to give you a bit of a...

Here we go. What is that note? It's going to be an E. Yeah, it's an E. E! Oh, man, this is some professional stuff, man. Yeah, man. Oh no, he's going to break it.

He's going to break that string. That's, I like, I just want to see, oh, he's really, he's going all the way with it. Did you loosen that up like super? No, I did not. He's going to trouble me. Wow! Yay! Now do the rest of the strings Oh shit that was great

Alright It's perfect now Yeah Alright thanks Sounds good Savage Garden Dave play Play Chicka Cherry Cola man Yeah Chick! Dave, play Chicka Cherry Cola, man.

Yeah. Chicka to China to Chicka Cherry Cola. Go. Anytime I need to see your face, I just close my eyes and I'm taken to a place where your crystal mind and magenta feelings take a chapter in a visceral swan shell like a Chicka Cherry Cola. I don't even try to explain, I just hold on tight

and then it happens again, I'm a move so slight and the arms and the lips and the face and the human cannonball I need to, I just hold on tight And then it happens again I'm a move so slight Into the arms and the lips And the face and the human cannonball I need to, I want to Can't stand, want to I don't know if I need you But ooh, I'd die to find out I'd die to find out

Ooh, I want you I don't know if I need you But ooh, I'd die to find out Now can we find out? Beep, beep, boom, boom, boom. Woo! Oh, my goodness. Dan Mangan, everybody.

Dan Mangan, everybody. Can I take the happy water with me? Yeah, take it with you, absolutely. I will remember this with happiness. Thank you. Dan Mangan! Oh, lordy, lordy, Lou. Oh, okay.

We'll bring on the next guest. Let's bring on our next guest. Let's get to know them a tiny bit. Absolutely. This next guest, one of our all-time favorite guests, fan favorite, such a funny lady. Please welcome to the stage, Miss Alicia Tobin, everybody. Hey.

Hello. Hey, bumpers. Hello! Hey, bumpers! Is it freezing? Nope. I'm good. I feel like it's freezing in here. My thyroid. No, it's summer.

Yeah. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. How are you guys? Good. What's happening? What's new?

Um. Yeah? How are you guys? Good. What's happening? What's new? Um... Yeah? I, uh... I... I'm happy to be here. Yeah. We're happy to have you.

I just... I finished school. I'm a nutritionist now. About time. Took a long time, guys. So... Correct us. Like, correct us. Do we have any food myths we can quiz you on?

Yeah. Like beer before liquor? Broccoli is not a thing. Broccoli is not a thing. There you go. See? You don't have to eat that if you don't like it. What's the grossest food?

Yeah, what is the grossest food? Yeah, what is the grossest food? Because I have an idea. Do you have an idea? I have an idea of what it is. Yeah, I know what it is. What's the grossest food? We'll say it on three. One, two, do you have one? Yeah. One, two, three.

Cereal. What? What did you say? Cereal. Cereal? General? I would love cereal. I don't know why I said it. Jalapeno poppers. What? What did you say? Cereal. Cereal? Just in general? I would love cereal. I don't know why I said it. I'm lashing out. I said jalapeno poppers.

What did you say? I said poop. Yeah. Yeah, as a food, poop is the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not wrong. Don't eat it. That's day one of nutritionist. $125, please. You're not wrong. Don't eat it. That's day one of nutritionist. $125, please.

Times this many people. Do you have any clients where you're like, I don't want to sound like an idiot here, but you're not eating poop, are you? The person's just finishing off one of those dog poop bags. What? No. Not me.

Oh, no. You made it too real. Oh, I'm sorry. This audience can handle it I was thinking when you said that that all of my clients were Labradors and they lived in the same house with a cat yeah they'll do that

kitty litter pretty good it's delicious now what we didn't do well we had Dan out here we didn't get to well, we had Dan out here, we didn't get to know us. I want to get to know you, but usually we go in kind of a triangle shape.

Why did I say it like that? Triangle. Triangle. Well, if you saw where we recorded, it's a giant triangle in space. Yeah. With a couch. But do you mind if I, do we, you mind? You want to get to

know Dave first? Absolutely. Sure. And we just work our way around. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, last night I went to a show as a part of the Oleo Festival. I went to go see our friends Pat Kelly and Pete Oldring in This Is That live. Fantastic show. That was a great show. Yeah, you were there. I was there. And as I was leaving, I saw a couple of my friends standing outside. And so I said goodnight to them. I walked back to my car, which was like 30 seconds away. And then I turned on my car. And the song on the radio was Firework by Katy Perry.

Big surprise. The radio was Firework by Katy Perry. Big surprise. And I thought it would be so funny if I cranked it and then rolled down my window and drove past my friends. You're not wrong so far. Yeah, yeah. So I did that, except that right as I was doing it, the light turned red, I was like stuck in traffic

right in front. And I think my friends had literally just left in a cab. Yeah. Because it had taken me a minute to get to my car and turn it on and drive. So I think I was just being a jerk in front of

a bunch of strangers. Sat parked there listening to firework. Yeah. I was fire jerk. Pretty good. So that's all that's been going on with me. Well, yeah. Oh, but that's big, though.

Yeah, it was a big... It was big finding out that you're a fire jerk. Yeah. It was a bucket list moment. Al Graham. Yeah. What's going on with you? I saw a violent fight on the train.

And, oh, right? There's no better way to travel in Vancouver. Tweeted about it, and now I'm going to talk about it in full. This is, okay. There was, I was listening to music so I didn't hear the preamble to the fight

but one of the things was there were two really shitty dudes that got on the train the second they got on the train I was like something's gonna happen right like either somebody's gonna end up with a pasta sauce on them

like something fucking weird is gonna happen going to happen, right? Like either somebody's going to end up with a pasta sauce on them or something fucking weird is going to happen. How were they shitty? They were like LMFL. Oh, man. Like imagine those two guys got on the train. You're like, little boy. Count down to the horribleness.

So they got on and then there's like these little plastic slots where they put I don't know buzzer. The buzzer.

Exactly. The newsletter for the for the train. For the poor. Yeah. The poor the poor tribune.

Have you thought what about these new yellow cords they got to pull for a stop? An editorial. Thanking the bus driver. It's not from everyone. So, so they broke it.

They broke where the buzzer was going. They threw it down the train and almost hit somebody in the head. And then a group of guys circled around these two guys and started... They didn't start picking a fight with them.

They started dancing. Go shitty guys. Go shitty guys. Go shitty guys. You're the worst now. They started lecturing them, which was weird. I was like, this is not going to end well.

When has a lecture ever resulted in the person being lectured going, good point. You were right. I'm going to mend my ways. So they started lecturing him, and one of the guys said, I'm only on the train because I lost my license because I was drunk. And then one of the guys was like, and you're proud of that?

You're proud of that? And the guy was like, I guess, I guess, some kind of. That's why he said it. And I was just like, this is going to turn from, like, and then there was a guy in a very beautiful suit, like he had just gotten off of work at, like, a law firm, right? And had an

affair. I better get on the train so the smell of my mistress will get off me. Yeah. The smell of... Maybe the grossness of the train will overwhelm her bijon. So he started yelling at the guys,

and we came up to a stop, and he said, you're getting off at this stop. And the guys were like, nah-ah, because they were not ever agreeable. Like, okay. Okay, lecturers.

So he's like, you're going to get off at this stop. And the guy's like, nope. And then he picked up one of them and threw him out like he was a fucking, like just a garbage bag. Yonk. And he he picked up one of them and threw him out like he was a fucking, like, just a garbage bag. Yonk!

And he just tumbled out on the platform and I never saw him again. Like, he just vanished, that guy. And then his friend decided to fight and stay and he started, they started punching each other in the face and then the guy pushed the guy out of the train.

But you know there's like a safety mechanism where the doors will almost close. But if you put something in between them, the doors open back up again. So it was the reverse of the safety thing. Like we were like, ah! And then he put his foot in and then it opened up. And we were like, oh no. And then it was just more punching in the face. Like it was that close.

He was almost off. And then these guys just beat the shit out of each other and then the one guy tumbled out and the doors closed and meanwhile everybody was standing around just frozen like statues. It was just like they were fighting

in a hedge maze of people like hedges shaped like statues. It was just like they were fighting in a hedge maze of people like hedges shaped like people. Nobody did anything. And then I went up and pressed there's like a button thing in a box that's like the rescue alarm. I went up and pressed

that and then the person came on and said what is your emergency? And I was like, there's two dudes just got in a fight on the train. And then everybody looked at me like, good work. But then

the box just said What is your emergency? I was like There's two guys Fighting on the train What is your Please hold in the button To talk about your emergency

Which it doesn't say that anywhere Right So then I held in the button There's two guys Fighting on the train And they said Okay thanks Are they on the train? And they said, okay, thanks. Are they on the train?

I was like, no. Like, I wanted to explain it to her. And she goes, thank you. And I was like, oh, what? I was going to tell you all the things. And then when we got to the next station, the guy in the suit just walked off the train. So it was like there was blood everywhere and stuff.

But it was like there was nobody around to say what happened, except there was this giant construction dude who all of a sudden came in and he was narrating the whole thing. I was like, where were you fucking a minute ago? Giganto. Oh, what you want to do is look at the security team because they were fucking around at the station

before they got on. I was like, you fucking asshole. At the last second, he's like, well, I guess if I gotta be involved. Now that everything's over. And in case you're wondering who won the fight, it was me because I got to

press that button. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, everybody. Well, we brought you on to get to know you. Yeah. So tell us what's going on with Alicia Tobin. But what I was going to say... Oh, sorry.

No, go ahead. Forget it. Like, every time, it's like this. How's things? Great. I got married today. Oh, hey! Congratulations! I had a baby around noon. Everything's

working out great. I'm not sweating anything anymore. What are the big things to get applause? It's marriage and babies. Also drugs. Who likes doing drugs? So what's going on? I don't know. I was thinking that maybe I moved to a dicier neighborhood than I anticipated.

Why? Well, like about a year ago, I was walking past a massage parlor, and myself and another woman saved a woman's life before she was beaten within an inch of her life by some guy. And now, out front of my house every night, this guy with a pageboy haircut, he's in his 50s, is dealing drugs. Really? Mostly absinthe, I assume.

And then a little while ago, there's this naked man in my bushes masturbating. All right, let's talk about that. Why does everything cool happen to you guys? So there was a naked guy. Tell us about him. Yeah. Describe him. So I'm a light sleeper.

And I heard somebody shouting. First, I heard people talking in a fun way. I was like, they're having a good time. And then I heard, get away from me. And so I got up because I have that instinct where I'm like, somebody needs help, I'm going to help them. Once you get there, things get really crazy. I have the instinct and then no skills.

And so I go out to, I live in this house, and I have a big window, very rich. And there's this pale man, no clothes, no socks, I don't know how, in my hedges, touching his wiener with a twig. No! No! Yes! Really? Yes! And I'm like, fuck. With a twig. No! No! Really? Yes! And I'm like, fuck.

You maybe heard about those pussy willows. They're so funny. And so I call the police, and they're like, what does he look like? And I'm like, it's not great. I'm calling the police all the time, so I'm like, I wouldn't be interested in him if he were a normal person. He's a four.

He needs to go to the gym a bit. He could get a tan. Ah, in the hedges. I mean, that's not, there's nothing fun about that. Even with clothes on. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. And like the women were like,

get away. And of course, like he didn't chase him or anything. So I just stayed inside in my pajamas watching him. Do you think you would have given chase? Had you chased him

or would he have been like, that man hasn't run in a decade. That man can't give chase. He looks terrible. Sounds like my kind of guy. So yeah, and the next morning I was just like, ugh. And then I was walking on my front yard and the twig was still there.

Ha ha! Gross! I was like, at least you could do is take your twig. Yeah. Your pleasure twig. Can't take it anymore. Like you're calling out to him to be decent. Come on, man!

Come on! Take the twig. I get that you're masturbating hedges. I get it. Just take your twig with you, man. We all masturbate in the hedge sometimes. We all have the decency. Take nothing but twigs.

Leave nothing but twigs, leave nothing but, etc. So that's kind of it. Well, that's all it needs to be. Now, Alicia, the real reason we brought you up here was for a segment that we call and get ready, sound guy, a segment that we call

Overheard. call and get ready sound guy a segment that we call overheard overheard there we go guys prepare thyself um now we like to always start with the guests if you would sure i'd love to lead the. Lead the charge. That would be wonderful. That's great. Okay. Alright. Here we go. Here we go. In the hedge. Okay. One time. So. With the twig. With the twig. So I was masturbating

in the hedge. I found this lovely twig. So soft. Oh. I was at the park with my niece. My niece is seven, and she is amazing. And I love her. And I took her on our first adventure walk together.

We got lost. It was terrifying. I have no sense of direction and a terrible memory. Turns out she inherited all of my terrible qualities. Incredibly pale. Doesn't like group sports. And she thinks all animals are her friends, which will inevitably result in some sort of injury soon. So we're at the park, and there's a bunch of other people there with children. And I always feel kind of weird when I have a child with me

because it's not ever my child, so I'm not sure what to do with them. And she's just playing on the monkey bars, and I see this girl, and I can't tell how old she is. And I can tell that she's at least 13, and the way she's talking, I'm like, she's 35. Oh, my God. Like, the words, the screaming, I couldn't handle it. And she made me nervous because she was definitely fully developed,

but small like a child, like some sort of secretive, nim version of adults. And she had sharp, weird features like a rat. Sharp teeth. Or a fidu hua. She was small and compact, and she could definitely farm. And there was shouting from these two girls, and I was like, what's going on?

And then I realized there was two of them, so so I started to panic because I'm terrified of twins. And I just see my lovely niece on the monkey bar, super pale and trying to stay on. And I overhear one of the sisters say, hey, look, I'm a stripper. And I turn around. This is at a park filled with children. And she's on a pole that is a swing set. And she's pole dancing with the thing. And I'm like, okay, Genevieve, let's go.

What's up? Run up. And then this little guy beside her says, my sister's a stripper. And he's like, nah, she's more of a hooker. Whoa. And that's my overheard. Yeah! In this economy, it's important to differentiate.

Dave? My overheard is an overread. Ooh! Books! Tell me! On the internet. Now, my last name is Shumka. Yeah, okay.

And it is Ukrainian. Ukrainian. And... Yep. Painted eggs. I'm glad you have some kind of allegiance. Peronis. Perahus.

But I in Edmonton there's a there's a Shumka Dancers. Okay, thanks. Yep, absolutely. Whenever it hits you. Don't hold back. In Edmonton there is a dance

company called the Shumka Dancers and we're no relation, because my name in Ukrainian means whirlwind. Yeah, right? But I've noticed over the past few months that... Because sometimes I have a Twitter window open that just has my name in it,

and it's uncommon enough that anytime anyone says Shumka on Twitter, I need to know about it. And quite often it's people talking about, like the dance company does a dance camp every summer. It's like, ooh, I spent the summer at Shumka. And that's a lot of fun. But recently people have been talking about my name in the context of food.

And I sort of discovered that there is a restaurant in a food court in Edmonton called Shumka Ukrainian Food. And so I looked it up online and my overread is apparently this is their slogan. Just when you thought you'd tried everything at the food court, then came Shumka.

Wow. What a down sell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried everything. Try Orange Julius before us, and then when you've done it all, go sow your wild oats at New York Fries. I'll be waiting for you.

There's no choices left. Chumko beef. Yeah. Wow. What do you think? Perogies? It's perogies. It's beef. Yeah. Wow. What do you think? Perogies? It's perogies. It's sausage.

Fun. Those are two fun items to eat. Right? Because one is like a dumpling, but not Asian. You're the nutritionist. Yeah. How many perogies should you have? Yeah.

What's 24? Five. Absolutely five. Five a day. Five a day. Five a day? All right. So I'm on pace. Yeah.

Pierogies are the most important meal of the day. Guys. Yes? So you had an overheard. You had an overread. I have an overseen. Oh. There we go.

That's a showbiz staple right there. For the home listener, a real spit tank. A real spit tank. I mean fake, but real water. No, but real though. Yeah, real good mist. Yeah. You had like a Stephanie Tanner mist, I would say.

Thank you. She was good at a spit take at a young age. And look at her now. Math. My overseen is one of... I had to go home and look up on the internet to make a context out of it.

So, okay, there's a type of Nike shoe that are called ones for short. But you know what I'm talking about? No. Okay. There's something else. Are they Air Force ones? Yeah, Air Force ones. Are they Air Force Ones?

Yeah, Air Force Ones. But they just shortened them to Ones. Nice. Right? Everybody just calls them Ones. And there was a kid, say like a kid's about 11 years old and he's wearing this black shirt. And what it was supposed to say was, bury me in my Ones. Right? Right.

Like, if I'm going to die 80 years from now bury me in my gross shoes from when I was a kid But it's like if I'm going to die just bury me in my shoes because I'm not going to play basketball anymore after I'm dead So don't leave them around

because I'm not going to ghost play basketball, bury me in them I don't know what it means But'm not going to ghost play basketball. Bury me in them. Or whatever. I don't know what it means. But he is going to ghost play basketball. That's why he wants to be buried. That's how your ghost is. The sole of the shoes will go up.

The sole of the shoes. Pretty good. So it said, it's supposed to say bury my one, but I had no idea because it was folded over just so. Like I had to go home and look it up on the internet. I thought it said bury me in my onesie.

Because I'm going to haunt you like a creepy baby. Like stretch it out if you have to. That's what I want to be buried in. It's not even an overseen. It was an over... A misunderstanding. It was fun, though. It was fun! Guys,

this is where we turn the show right over to you. Because we would always usually have phoned in or written in overheards, overseens, et cetera, but we just go to the general audience. So if you are so bold, we have a microphone sitting right there.

If you would like to come up and do an overt, come on up. Absolutely. Here we go. You can go around the outside there. What is your name? My name is Katie. Hey, Katie! Hi, Gane.

What's your overheard? It's Sky Train overheard, as probably most of them are. Oh, yeah? Coming back from downtown on an evening where people had been imbibing. There was a drunk gentleman and an aboriginal artisan with his velour board of his wares who got off right when I got on, and I heard the drunk man talking and saying,

oh, man, I really wanted a dream catcher from that guy, but they were like $60, and others don't have that many dreams. Yes! Katie, everybody! They were like $60. And others don't have that many dreams. Yes! Katie, everybody! So good! Seriously, if you do $20 per dream,

we got another gentleman coming up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so Brave Crash. What is your name, sir? Andrew. Hi, Andrew. We got another gentleman coming up here. Brave crowd. What is your name, sir? Andrew. Hi, Andrew. What has you overheard?

This happened on the bus, of course. There was these two guys from Kamloops. They use the term sesh a lot. Oh, yeah. So that either means they smoked a lot of weed, or they skateboarded, or both. Or they like shesh rogan. Yeah.

Sesh rogan. So they started talking about what kind of tattoos they wanted to get. one of them said, I have this belief that every tattoo you get should mean something to you. Except for one that you get that's really fucking cool. And they started talking about their tattoo ideas.

One guy wanted to get a yin-yang symbol with Chinese symbols underneath that said, No Limits. And my favorite thing in the discussion was one of them said, Hold on a second. What did he say? Oh, no. Yep.

All right. Here we go. I'm freezing. What did he say? Don't worry about it man No limits Here it goes He said he wanted to get

I want to get a pentagram on my hand Cause you know Like magic Yeah magic Amazing This gentleman here And then we have time for one more Yeah, magic! Amazing! This gentleman here, and then we have time for one more because we've got another guest that we've got to bring out.

So please welcome the third gentleman who I don't know. What's your name, sir? My name is Sean. Hey, what up, Sean? Go ahead with your overhead. So I was at the Vancouver Aquarium because I have a membership.

And I was there by myself because I was single. And I was at the Beluga show because it's very good. The Beluga show! It's so good. Why isn't that part of the Yolio Festival? Yes!

Oh, man! They were talking about how the belugas, she was talking to the kids about how belugas are white to, you know, camouflage with the ice and the Arctic and stuff. But then she kind of ended the sentence by saying,

and that's why it's great to be white. And I was the only one who laughed out loud. So that was pretty cool. John, everybody. Oh, man. I didn't even know that. I learned a fact. That it's great to be white?

Yeah. No, I didn't know that belugas were white because of the icebergs. That was great. One more, one more. There's a guy there. All right white because of the icebergs. That was great. One more. One more. There's a guy there. All right.

Oh, that one guy. There we go. This one guy. Come on, one guy. Come on. Why don't you? A whole lot is riding on this. Hello.

Introduce yourself, gentlemen. I'm Alex. Hey, Alex. I manage buildings. Okay. What? Because I'm not too bright. But I noticed... Why would you Because I'm not too bright. But I noticed...

Why would you say I'm not too bright? I don't have any building to manage. It's the microphone. It makes every woman have like a shtick. It's like we're sitting down and they're standing up. It's like we're their audience. It's just... It's context, my friends.

No, okay, sure. But I imagine you're plenty bright. Come on. So I'm listening to my colleague who's pretending to be smart, and he's talking about something that needs to be fixed, so he's saying that it needs to be affixiated to the wall. Really great. Alex, everybody.

Plenty smart, I say. The affixiator. All right. And at this point, it's time. We're going to bring out our last guest. You can hang out if you want. Without a microphone. No, but we got that one.

Oh, yeah. You want to hang out? Absolutely. Do you want to hang out? Sure. Alicia Chomka's going to move over there. Dave Chomka adjusting the microphone doing exact yeah there we go

tiny microphone if you would be so kind our last guest of the evening one of our all time favorites here on the podcast and an all time favorite here in Vancouver he is part of the improv troupe that won Best Improv Troupe in Canada

recently at the Canadian Comedy Awards. He is here for us tonight. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Kevin Lee, everybody! Where is he? There he is! There he is! Thank you! Kevin Lee!

Kepskins! Hello. Thank you for coming! Thank you for having me. Hello, everybody. Hello! Hello! Yes, I'm not Chinese.

Hey! Yeah. Sorry. Everyone's like, I can't wait to see a Chinese guy tonight. There's still time for me to turn into a Chinese guy. Oh, I mean, for people to see a Chinese person.

Sure, sure. We're doing a scavenger hunt. The butterfly effect. See one Chinese person, find a thimble, steal a bus sign. Have you ever gone on a... Yeah!

I've done mad scavies. Have you been on a scavenger hunt? No. Never? No. Alicia? So Dave, what was this all about? Well. I feel like this is weird. It was great 12th. We were all

nubile. What? It was called a car rally. And you aligned yourself. Why does somebody know what that is? Who cheered for that? Get out. You pack as many people into a car as possible.

And they're a team. And the people running it get a list of things you need to do. And it was like steal a bus stop sign. Take a picture of yourself directing traffic. It was back in the days of Polaroids. That's the 70s. Yeah. It was pre-digital.

You needed the evidence that night. Go see Smoke on the Water played live by the band that did that. I remember the name. Deep Purple. There you go. And you got extra points for doing it naked. Oh, really? So for every nude picture you took of yourself, you got extra points.

And I was in a car with all girls. Ah! There you go. But I never got naked. Ah, fair enough. But we won. But I didn't drink. Oh, yeah.

The prize was a case of beer. Now, back to our guest. Kevin Lee. Yeah. How many Chinese people have you seen today? Three? Yeah. I don't know. You did. How many Chinese people have you seen today? Three? Yeah. What's going on

with you? What's new with Kevin Lee? I don't know. You guys brought me on in the most uninteresting period in my life. Nothing's happening. No, I went to San Francisco not that long ago. That's not uninteresting. Yeah, it was very fun. Is that the store in the mall

that has all the racy stuff? Yeah, I bought a Freddy Krueger glove that's made out of plastic and some itching powder. I put it inside the glove, put it on, and was like, No! Got me again, Freddy.

They used to sell lighters that you would rub and then the lady on it would become naked. Yeah. And I say used to because Iers that you would rub and then the lady on it would become naked. Yeah. And I say used to because I assume they still do. And the guy in the bush with the twig had one of those. Visual jokes.

Yeah. No, not the... I went to the city based on the store. The city based on the store. Yeah. Welcome to the dildo building. Here's the fart t-shirt warehouse. Here's the Golden Gate

one tequila, two tequila, three tequila floor tank top. I don't know. Why as a kid I love that store. That was definitely a litmus shitty. I love that store. That was definitely like a litmus test. Like, I know I was a stupid kid because I love that store. Why? Terrible.

Oh, Lordy. So how was it? How was San Francisco? It was great. Yeah. Went there. I went to a music festival called Outside Lands, and I got to see bands and stuff like that there. Outside, I assume.

Outside, yes. Yeah, it was good. What was your favorite band you saw? Oddly, Foo Fighters were really good. How does that feel to say that? Probably weird. It's like I'm just shaking hands with my 16-year-old self. We did it.

You got it, kid. We were right. Cool forever. You got it, kid. We were right. Cool forever. You got it, buddy. Yeah, so that was good. Foo Fighters were a lot of fun. I got way too drunk. And then we went to see,

so I went there with my girlfriend Marie, and then we went into the crowd to get close, because Neil Young was after Foo Fighters. So we're like, gotta see Neil Young before he dies. I saw that fortune teller and she's like, Neil Young's gonna die.

She turned over a folk rock death card. That's the only thing the fortune teller tells you. You're like, what about me? That's all I got. That's all you've got going on. I got that Neil Young's gonna die. A lot of sleeping and overeating. So we got in the crowd there and we watched Foo Fighters and they were surprisingly really great

and then was really drunk at that point and then there was a guy behind me like Marie and I were rocking out and I turned around and there was this old guy basically dressed like Graham somebody had like a bandana. And he looked over at me.

I was dancing with Marie. We were singing along. And then I turned around to him and he's like... Gives me a little nod of approval. Yeah, you're the nod. Thank you. And then he offered me weed. Which I smoked.

Which was the worst idea. Because then the earth began to move. It was bad. And so basically during Neil Young, Marie was holding my hand on the side, way off to the side, lying down. I'm like, I'm so sorry.

We're missing Neil Young. I'm sorry. She's like, it's fine. And he's like, meh. And then he died. Then a bird flew directly into his head. That doesn't, nope, nothing. Oh, but that would be the greatest death. Amazing, a bald eagle.

And there would be like one person that had gambled that in Vegas, like, ah! One guy in the crowd? Yes! Unbelievable. I'm going to retire. I'll make a donation. Bird preserves. I don't know. What's up with you?

Nothing that great. You guys already did that. Were you there? Did you hear me blasting Katy Perry? No, I don't know. What's up with you? Nothing that great. You guys already did that. Were you there? Did you hear me blasting Katy Perry last night? No, I missed that. Okay, well then, yeah. But if you were high, it would have been great. It would have been amazing. Do you think because you were so drunk, that's why you love the Foo Fighters so much?

Maybe, yeah. I don't think the Foo Fighters are bad. No, no, no. Right? All their fans are the worst people on Earth, but the band itself just has become a... Right? They're fine.

I think they're just like, hey, this is a rock band. This is the name of a rock band that I know. Let's put them on a poster. Yeah, but that's fine. That's... Right? Isn't it?

I don't know. Sure. You guys seem anti that notion. Yeah, but that's fine. That's, right? Isn't it? I don't know. Sure. You guys seem anti that notion. Yeah, I guess. People don't want to cut one way or the other on Foo Fighters.

You're all keeping your hands folded. I don't care one way or the other. But they're okay. Yeah, they're fine. I've never heard anything that they think.

Whatever. It's totally fine. Yeah. Wow. Right? All right. They've got the drummer from Nirvana

and the drummer from Alanis Morissette So Dave Coulier? No, he didn't Oh fuck, we forgot celebrity birthdays Oh shit Ah shit

Ah shit Today, I don't know what to do I don't know what to make of all this It's too late It's too late to go No, it's not It's never too late It's never too late, Dave

Happy celebrity birthday today. Dave, shut up! Yeah, it's time for some Hulk Hogan news. I've been staring at this piece of paper for half an hour. Oh, my God. I just want to read you a tweet that Hulk Hogan made.

It's the craziest fucking tweet. It's out of context. It wasn't responding to anything. It's just Hulk Hogan tweeted this straight up. Want some? This is to nobody. He is literally tweeting this to the world. Want some? You to the world. Want some?

You know the rest. I didn't even know the beginning of it. Want some what? This is only the beginning of a very sordid tale. Got my other son, Shaq, watching my back tonight. What? You didn't birth him? Yeah. And also, I don't

think his son was there. Yeah. So it's like, I don't like my first son. I'm going to call you my son, Shaq. I was hoping Nick Hogan would turn out more like Shaq. My son's more like an air ball. You're a slam dunk, dude.

Yeah? Just had to get something good in there. Terrible. Got my other son Shaq watching my back tonight on Impact. Come get some. Aces and eights. You can decode it. Honestly, I have no idea.

Like, he was doing that, and then he went to the casino. Impact is a wrestling? Yeah, but also... It runs. Shaq, watch back, Impact. I didn't even read it that way. I mean, as long as you didn't even read it that way. As long as you don't put a T in impact.

Also, guys, if you want to know the number for Hogan's Beach Shop, it's 1-727-461-5599. That was also on his Twitter. So if you want to call up the beach shop and be like, when can I get my beach blankets? This has been Hulk Hogan News. Now it is time for Celebrity Birthdays. Guys, oh man.

I don't even have a thing for this, so I think the thing this week is just like, what's their deal? I'll tell you the celebrity. You tell me what their deal is. Is it Seinfeld's birthday? Duff.

Very good. Happy 31st birthday to a socialite, according to Wikipedia, Nicole Richie. Boo. No, she's really cleaned herself up.

Oh, really? What is she doing now? She's married to a Madden. Oh, hey, good for you. John Madden. Oh, really? She's married to John Madden. Many, many happy turduckens to them.

Yeah. Happy 41st birthday to the world's most famous Alfonso, Alfonso Ribeiro. Yeah! His deal? I bet you that I could pay $50. Or no, $150 and he would come and do the dance at your wedding. Yeah, sure. What do you think?

I think he'd do it for that. He wouldn't need airfare. Yeah, sure. Free food, free drink. Three-star hotel. Yeah. What do you think his deal is? You supply...

He'll autograph things, but you have to supply your own 8x10 glossy of him. Yeah. You can buy it at one of those shops of photos. Bypass. I printed this off my computer. Dot matrix. Like an ANSI thing of his face of like photos bypass. I printed this off my computer. Dot matrix, like an NC thing

like of his face. I hate this. Happy 53rd birthday to the guy who reminded me to do this, Dave Coulier. Hey! Cut it out!

Remember when he got a blowjob from Alanis Morissette's drummer? Remember when we were there? Unbelievable. Happy birthday, 62nd birthday, to Bill Murray. Hey! Bill Murray!

Yeah. He and Dave Coulier are having a nice phone call right now. Yeah. Happy 66th birthday to writer Stephen King. All right. Spooky. Don't get hit by another car. Thinner. He's in a band with a bunch of authors.

Or they just broke up. What were they called? The Rock Bottom Remainders. I don't even get it. Really? Who else was in it? Amy Tan. Matt Graham. else was in it? Amy Tan. Matt Gray. Somebody was yelling it out.

Dave Barry. Really? Yep. He would be all like, isn't it weird? Aren't guitars weird? Guys, got to write something this week. And finally, happy 78th birthday to Canada's grandpa, Leonard Cohen. Oh!

There it goes. Oh! Man! Okay. Now, we have one final thing planned on the show. I recently downloaded an app. Woo! Yeah!

iPhone extension. an app Woo! Yeah! Our phone, et cetera. That tells you all the names of the food trucks in Vancouver. And it tells you where they are and what their deal is. About time. Oh, they really dragged their ass on that app. Yeah. And they've got

some terrible names. And so I have a list of names of food trucks. Yeah. And you three have to decide whether what I say is a real food truck. That's a good game. Yeah. Or something I made up. All right.

This is great. All right. Here we go. The juice caboose. That's real. That's real. Somebody said it was real. It is great. All right, here we go. The juice caboose. That's real. That's real. Somebody said it was real. It's real.

It's real. Yeah. What do they serve? Juice. Oh, cabooses. Butt-thinning juice. The juiciest cabooses in town. This juice is going straight to my caboose.

Next up. That's really fun. Taser grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, I know that is for real. Because I saw it. Yeah, that's Main Street and Terminal. And it's just like

somebody who didn't know that tasers were touch and go. Do tase me, bro. In the mouth. The guy with the grilled cheese head. Constantly with cops just like stealing his grilled cheese away.

The Chili Tank. I want to say that's fake. They were saying real, but I deny all of you. Chili Tank sounds gross. This is a real Price is Right situation. I'm going against the crowd. Chili Tank is a fake.

Of course the audience is right. I'll fight you in the streets chili tank The chili tank is a real one What? No thanks Chili tanks That would be a pretty good slogan Tanks for the chili No tanks

It would be me doing this Throw my spoon in the dirt No tanks. It'd be me doing this. Throw my spoon in the dirt. No tanks, Chili. Skewers with a Z. Ah, you made that up because it's too hip. Yeah, fake. I'm gonna fake. You're right, it's fake.

Yay! I got one. CNC meat stick factory. Oh, I want that to be real. I also want that to be real. Please say that's real. Come on, meat sweats.

Meat sweats. Everybody's so mad it's not real. Dougie Dog Diner Truck. What? That's real. Dougie Dog Diner Truck? What? Yeah, it's real. Dougie Dog Diner Truck? Yeah. Weird.

What are you saying? I'm saying fake. Yeah. It's hard to go against the audience. I know. I did, and it was great. I'm just doing it on purpose. They're right.

It is real. Oh. Soho Road Nan Kebab. Soho Road Nan Kebab Soho Road Nan Kebab Fake Real It's a mouthful Yeah

Pudding by Derek Yeah Oh man I want that to be so real Pudding by Derek It's like extra skin or no skin I want him to I want him to be there

in a black shirt and jeans. He's one of those fashion designers who don't get all fashion-y, you know? He's just there, he's like, it's my pudding. It's very unpretentious. Served in a bit of rolled up newspaper. It's like my parents used to get down in the wharf. Alright, you're right, that's fake

The pudding pump Well, in a world where Puddings by Derek doesn't exist I don't want that I feel like that's one with a little window that they open After you order the pudding and a hose comes out And shoots it at you You got vanilla Like a butterscotch they open after you order the pudding in a hose and it shoots it at you.

You got vanilla. Like a butterscotch. Just give you a bucket for it to hold under your face. Okay, the next one. The pudding pit. I don't think there's any of those trucks that serve pudding. Ian Ziering started that one, right? Yeah.

You're right, that's fake. The next one is just gobs of pudding. That's got to be real. It's so uninspired. No, it's not real. Oh, what? I know, everybody's so mad. The num-num food cart. That not real. Oh, what? I know. Everybody's so mad. The num-num food cart.

That's real. That's got to be real. Num-num food cart. Is that real? Yeah, it's real. Feestro, the rolling bistro. That's real. That's an all-around.

Yeah, anybody who goes to the trouble of rhyming it. Yeah. But bistro is spelled like beast, like an animal. No, it isn't. Really? Absolutely, yeah. All right.

Beauty and the bistro. Yeah. And the final one. It's a great game. Somebody doesn't want to go home. Somebody's not tired. Yeah. I's not tired. I'm not tired yet.

I want to stay more for pudding jokes. I think we've discovered tonight that Vancouver needs a pudding truck. Or at least a cart. Yeah. A pudding wagon. The final one. Ze Burger. Ze Burger?

No, fake. It is a Pink Panther themed burger restaurant. It is not! It is fake. Yay! Oh lordy! This has been food cart fake real thingy. Fantastic.

What a rollercoaster ride it has been. Ladies and gentlemen, this brings us here. Stop it. Well, what else? I have to be so bad. Ditto. Me too.

You guys have been amazing. Thank you so much for coming out and seeing the show tonight. Yeah. And, uh... Please keep that applause going for Alicia Tobin, Kevin Lay,

and, uh, BC Troubadour, Mr. Dan Mangan. And for our sound guy, Eric Armstrong. Eric is amazing! Thank you, Eric! Thank you, Electric Owl, for having us. Thank you, Oleo Festival, for putting

on the show. You guys were fantastic, and we're honored to do a show for you. Thank you, Dave and Graham! Thank you! Everybody, have some drinks. We'll be around. Have a good night, everybody. Thank you.